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Esther Ijewere: 6 Effortless Ways To Show Love To Yourself

Living life is a constant work in progress for each person, but that doesn’t mean that you should get so caught up that you neglect showing yourself love. Break down the walls preventing you from self-love, and enrich your life. Here are 6 ways I have learnt to show myself love, you should try it too.
1. Tell Yourself What You Love About Yourself
Many times, we get caught up in everything around us that we forget to remind ourselves just how awesome we are. Our own disappointment, acceptance, patience, and love that we have for ourselves will always reflect what we show others.
2. Accept Imperfection
One of the most worthwhile things that we can do for ourselves is to give up on being perfect, and start the journey to become our true selves. The best part of that journey is to return to feeling peace within ourselves. This peace comes from training your mind to process life as it actually is, rather than what you think it should be.
3. Know That the Approval of Others Doesn’t Matter
Oftentimes people greatly value having the approval of others, even when it isn’t clear exactly what would gain their approval.You should instead focus on doing what is right for your own self, disregarding what others will think. You do not need anyone’s permission to be happy.
4. Bring Distance Between Yourself and Those Who Bring You Down
Worry less about the people in your life that are not worrying about you. You should surround yourself with those who inspire you, respect you, love you, and support you.
5. Make the Changes You Know Are Necessary
When you know that you want to see changes in your life, you will need to do things that you’ve never done before. Aim to stay away from the things that tear you down, and gravitate toward the things, activities and thoughts that fulfill you in the way that you want.
6. Let Go of Your Past Self
A part of life is that good people like you will sometimes make bad choices. Sure, past mistakes make up who you are today, but they do not define you. It is never too late to move on from them – dwelling will only lead to hurt.

“Esther is an activist, Writer, Columnist, Author and editor-in-chief & founder -Women of Rubies. She is passionate about issues that affect women and children. 

Facebook: Esther Ijewere

Twitter & IG : @Estherijewere

LinkedIn: Esther Ijewere

Email: admin@womenofrubies.com

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My love for food and Agriculture inspired me to start Teemarkfood – Ibenero Tobiloba

In the past few  weeks, we have witnessed a situation that has not only put the world at a standstill but also affected families and businesses. Many can’t afford to put food on the table as a result of the global lockdown to help contain the virus.

Agro Entrepreneur Ibenero Tobiloba Tolase is helping to alleviate the pain of many by providing them with food and giving them hope through her Teemark Food Company; where she produces and processes raw foods such as (Garri Ijebu, Yam flour and plantain flour).

With support from well meaning Nigerians she’s been able to feed over 200 families in light of the Coronavirus pandemic, as they partner with her to package foodstuff under four thousand Naira to feed each family in a bid to give hope, pending when things go back to normal.

The graduate of Pure and Applied chemistry from Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH) was inspired by her love for Agriculture and passion for food which started when She was young. Tobi loved seeing the smiles on people’s faces when they eat good quality food.

Aside from Agricuulture, Tobi is also passionate about issues ​that affects women and young girls, through her Girlscrib initiative , she  helps sensitise women and teenage girls on the importance of menstrual health. This initiative also distributes sanitary pads to secondary school girls

She is the Creative Director of JEMBRIDALS, a bridal outfit. a one stop bridal shop for traditional wedding and asoebi and also volunteers for PROJECT SMILE, an NGO that reaches out to the orphans all over Nigeria.

She shares her inspiring story in this interview.

Growing up

My childhood was fun and I am glad I had a mother is filled with wisdom and  taught me all I know today, I am the eldest of two children and was trained well in all area not because I am a girl but because I would be a leader some day. One thing that was constant in our home was food to give to friends and families. My mum always told us never look the other way when people around you have nothing to eat and that lesson is what is guiding me till date.

Inspiration behind Teemarkfoods

Good food! My love for food and Agriculture inspired Teemarkfood. One of the ways I feel fulfilled is seeing people have access to quality food and which has been my mantra since I was a child.

Reception since Inception

It is a learning process, but I am grateful to God for wisdom to discern the pros and cons of the business. People have been very supportive and accepting of my initiative.

Support for Female Agropreneurs

Well, we are not there yet but times are changing we will get there eventually. We are not backing down, we will keep pushing till we are are at the front burner and recognised for our efforts as change agents.

Giving hope to those affected by the lockdown

There was a point in my life when we had nothing to eat as a family, it was a very difficult time and with that understanding, knowing that there are families out there who do not have anything to feed on but might be reluctant to ask from friends and families, the next thing I thought of was reaching out to them first.

Effect of the Lockdown and Coronavirus on Agropreneur

Honestly I would say transportation getting the food from one place to the other so people access to it easily, but we are doing our best to give hope and lighten the burden of people, we are also calling on well meaning Nigerians to help alleviate the pain of these people by partnering with us through her platform to feed more people.

Challenges of being an Agro Entrepreneur

Financial challenges: Agro Entrepreneurs not having Access to loans and enough capital to improve and increase the productivity.

Transportation: Government should help reduce charges and fees paid on farm produce that are transported from farm to urban areas

Education: sensitisation of our local farmers on technology and its advantages on agriculture is also very important because it makes the production faster and delivery to consumers quick.

Other projects and activities

I am working on a project called “Girlscrib” this is an NGO for women and teenage girls, the project will help Educate women on menstrual health and also provide sanitary pads to secondary school girls.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I believe I carry greatness within me and I am on a journey to transfer that greatness into each and everyone I come across by spreading love.

To young  women who want to become Agro Entrepreneurs

I would say this first, Trust God to use you as a vessel for greatness, believe strongly in your self and lastly stay focus. When you have these three you become unstoppable.

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4 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE BETTER OFF AS FRIENDS WITH HIM

Sometimes the line between like and love can be hard to distinguish. We’ve all been in that one relationship with a guy where all the pieces fit together perfectly.

He was charming and smart and funny and sweet and you get along like gangbusters. But in spite of all of this, there was a little voice in your head wondering…

“Would we be better off just as friends?”

Let’s get one thing straight right now: There is nothing WRONG with friendship.

Friendship is dope as hell and really rewarding for the people in it. How can you tell if he’s a perfect boyfriend or better off as your bud? There are lots of different signs, but we’ve pulled together the big ones to help you out.

Here are 4 signs you and your boyfriend are better of just as best friends

1.You can’t imagine a future together

You’ve been dating exclusively for a little while now. So it’s natural you stop to think about the future.

Not so natural?

Maybe you just can’t picture it. Or you don’t like what you see. You like him a lot, maybe you even love him, but when you think about making a life with him in it you draw a blank.

2. You love him but not that way.

When your friends talk about how much they love their boyfriends you get worried. Sure, you LOVE your boyfriend, but you aren’t on cloud nine or anything.

He’s a great guy, you take care of each other, you’ve got a lot of common interests. But it doesn’t seem like the storybook love affair true love is supposed to be. That’s because it isn’t … it’s true friendship.

3. You hate living with him.

You guys have been living together for a while and… You can’t stand it. It’s not that you each have quirks and need to get used to each other. It’s that you aren’t compatible as living partners romantically. You’d be better off as buddies, hell, even as roommates.

4. You want to open the relationship up.

Your relationship is going just okay. You have sex, and it’s also just okay. You don’t want to break up because it feels like there’s no real reason to. But you want to open up the relationship so that you can meet new people. Boredom and dissatisfaction in your relationship is not a sign you should open things up.

It’s a sign you’re dating a friend and not a lover.

Kindly like, follow and drop your comments, I will love to hear from you *winks*

Follow me on my social media accounts for more Inspiring contents

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DO THESE 4 THINGS WITH YOUR MAN BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO MARRY HIM

A successful transition into marriage requires a good amount of work before the wedding day.

Getting married to your man is an exciting event to look forward to, but before you say your “I dos,” you need to do four things to ensure your relationship will last.

  1. Travel together

Going on a road trip will put you and your future husband in close quarters with each other for a long time. You will start to recognize different aspects of your relationship when you are stuck with him. Little annoyances, like singing loudly and off key to every song that comes on a radio is tolerable for the first 20 minutes, but after three hours in? Maybe not so much. You might discover that traveling with your man makes you or him more irritable with one another or more tolerable.

Being able to communicate during stressful conditions like getting lost or losing hotel reservations will help you solve problems together in the future when money is tight or your children have broken something expensive. If you can get through a long road trip together and look back on it with fond memories, consider it a green light for your marriage.

2. Discuss expectations

You most-likely have an expectation of how your marriage is going to operate. Perhaps you expect him to split the household chores evenly and for both of you to work full-time when you have children. On the other hand, he might expect you to stay home when you have children and do all of the household chores since you are a stay-at-home mom.

Before you get married, tell each other about your expectations for necessities like money, children, jobs and household duties. Most importantly, discusses your expectations for each other. You need to know what he expects of himself and of you. He needs to know what you expect of yourself and of him. Then compromise with one another.

3. Spend time apart

You love each other and therefore, you want to spend every moment together, but now is actually the time to spend time apart. Someone once said distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is true, but distance also make a relationship healthier. Men and women need companionship in friends and family. As much as your future husband loves you, he might not understand your need to talk for hours about everything under the moon, but your best girlfriend totally understands that need. Don’t be afraid to have a girl’s night without him.

If you don’t trust your man when he is away, you must learn to do so. Make expectations clear when it comes to talking to people of the opposite gender. Something to him may seem like a innocent action, but it could look like cheating in your eyes and vice versa.

4. Disagree with each other

If you always agree with your future husband, take a step back and think about your relationship. Disagreements, arguments and different opinions are important in a healthy relationship. Sometime down the road you are going to disagree about a course of action, so before you get married, it is vital that you learn to compromise.

5. Discuss expectations

You most-likely have an expectation of how your marriage is going to operate. Perhaps you expect him to split the household chores evenly and for both of you to work full-time when you have children. On the other hand, he might expect you to stay home when you have children and do all of the household chores since you are a stay-at-home mom.

Before you get married, tell each other about your expectations for necessities like money, children, jobs and household duties. Most importantly, discusses your expectations for each other. You need to know what he expects of himself and of you. He needs to know what you expect of yourself and of him. Then compromise with one another.

These four things will shed light on all aspects of your relationship. Understanding every side of your future husband will help your transition smoothly into your married life.

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AISHA YESUFU COVERS GUARDIAN LIFE MAGAZINE

The co-convener of the “Bring Back Our Girls” Movement, Aisha Yesufu, known for her fearless stance on National issues, is the latest cover lady of Guardian Life Magazine as she talks about being a girl child in Northern Nigeria, feminism, religious faux, marriage and being a “BBOG” warrior.

Born in Northern Nigeria, where the female child is expected to keep mute on certain issues, little Aisha Yesufu was already breaking the rules by speaking out whenever there was injustice.

Read excerpts from her interview:

On growing up, she says:

“Even though my parents or adults were angry at me for speaking up especially when it does not favour them; when they had that need to have someone that was unbiased to look at issues, they would call me.”

“I have the gift to look at issues from both sides even when I am involved and when I am not. I am able to tell people, “okay look at it like this”. My mother would always say, ‘nobody wins in your court’, but in that same court when they want the issues to be told plainly, they would come.”

On Feminism and Marriage:

“I am very, very lazy. My parents used to say, ‘Is everything book?’ Even when my husband proposed, I told him, I am lazy and I hate housework, I hate cooking and he was ready to go with it.”

“I set systems in place to work for me. I hire and pay people to make me jobless. By the grace of God, I will never work for anybody so I have time on my hands.”

“Being brought up to expect that a man that will take of you, it was my husband that taught me to be financially independent so that I can have control over my voice and not be dependent.”

On being a Bring Back Our Girls warrior;

“Growing up, the average Nigerian was taught that you should not question elders. They grew up with how not to question authority and it went on through school. Now that they have become adults, they have used government to replace parents so they don’t question authority.”

“Fortunately, we are seeing more movements like BBOG inspire them to stay on course. They are realising that the office of the citizen is actually the highest office in the land. They are realizing that we don’t need permission from the police to protest but protection.”

“Whatever I am doing today, I am fighting for that little girl that I was that yearned for help, that begged to be helped with a textbook so that I can read and pass my exams. If I ever give up that fight, I will be giving up on myself.

 

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ENTREPRENEURS NEED ACCESSIBLE AND AFFORDABLE LEGAL SERVICES – FUNKOLA ODELEYE

Funkola is the Co-founder and CEO at DIYlaw – a legal technology company committed to empowering Nigerian entrepreneurs through the provision of accessible and affordable legal services and free legal and business resources, Funkola is also the Corporate-Commercial and Intellectual Property lead at The Longe Practice LP (TLP), an entrepreneur focused law practice. Funkola is able to identify with her clients having been involved in various entrepreneurial pursuits, including founding a grocery e-commerce business.

She has a background in commercial & corporate law firm practice with years of in-house counsel experience in investment banking. Funkola’s legal experience prior to founding TLP and DIYlaw cuts across capital markets, investment advisory, compliance and securities.

Funkola has a Masters in Finance and Financial Law from the School of Oriental & African Studies, University of London in addition to her LLB from the Lagos State University and BL from the Nigerian Law School.

In 2018, Funkola represented DIYLaw and Nigeria at Pitch@Palace Commonwealth which took place during the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in London. She pitched to an audience which included Prince Andrew, The Duke of York and various Heads of Government of Commonwealth countries and emerged one of the winners.

In May 2019, she led the DIYLaw team to the United Nations and presented and exhibited at several different forums during the Science, Technology and Innovation Forum. She is an Obama Leader, having been chosen as a 2019 Obama Africa Leader and also an Innovating Justice Fellow of The Hague Institute for the Innovation of Law (HiiL). In her words “Entrepreneurship is the most sustainable solution to unemployment”

She shares her inspiring story and some legal nuggets with me in this interview

Growing Up

I grew up with my 2 sisters in a family where both our parents are entrepreneurs. Transitioning from secondary school to university and during university holidays, we had to work for my parents. That was the only guarantee to getting a flight ticket for summer holidays.

This taught us discipline and the value of hard work and I will also say that it exposed me to entrepreneurship. I guess it’s not surprising that my sisters and I have various entrepreneurial pursuits.

Inspiration  behind DIY Law

Our vibrant and hardworking youth demography in Nigeria is our biggest inspiration at DIYLaw. Things have really shifted and the youth are breaking away from parent-pleasing that makes them unhappy. We now see a lot of professionals who are in sports, entertainment, hospitality and are generally following their dreams. Even a lot of people with 9 to 5 jobs have “side-hustles”, vlogs, tech companies, you name it.

These are the people who need accessible and affordable legal services; they are constantly on-the-go building the next big thing and can’t be bugged down with complexities.

Why I am focusing on Entrepreneurs

My co-founder (Odun) and I realized in 2014 that the sector was underserved and that was really all we needed to quit our day jobs and start a law firm focused on entrepreneurs. Prior to that, we were both informally advising entrepreneurs in our circles like our family and friends and we had seen all kinds of missteps, bad decisions and lost opportunities because entrepreneurs didn’t have their legal affairs in order.

Knowing the contributions of entrepreneurs to job creation and the economy, it would have been a disservice to do nothing and so I have now made it my life’s mission.

Being an Obama fellow with ties to other notable Organizations

Being recognized by these various organisations validate the work that we do. Beyond money, it’s the fuel that I need to keep moving. Knowing that someone somewhere values the work that we do and believes in the changes that we are trying to spark, helps me keep head above water on the not-so-good days.

Also, some people don’t take you seriously enough until they realize that someone else or a notable organization does. I am grateful for these coattails I have been able to ride; they have opened some doors and given us access to other opportunities.

Women who Inspire me

There are too many women who inspire me. If I had to mention just one, it will be my mother – Oluyemisi Ani; even though she is 65, she still works extra hard. She is never satisfied with yesterday’s achievement; she sets new challenges for herself everytime and she just goes for it.

If I had to mention more though 😊, it will be Serena Williams for her determination and rising above her challenges with going back to work and giving her best after having a baby; Michelle Obama for everything that she stands for and Sara Blakely for being a constant reminder that being dogged, knocking on every door and having fun yields good results.

Nigerians and appreciation of female lawyers

I honestly don’t think we are treated any differently from our male counterparts. Law is such a prestigious profession and I think we are all accorded the level of respect we deserve whether male or female. I haven’t ever walked into a meeting or a courtroom and been silenced because I am female.

I think being female is a gift that all women should try to take advantage of. My co-founders and I never hesitate to tell people that we are “an all-female founded” tech company and we get people ooh-ing and aah-ing and showing more interest when we use that line.

That being said, I won’t deny that generally there is workplace harassment and that there are small-minded people who don’t take women seriously or show them respect.

Challenges

I can’t think of any. Just like I think that we get our due like our male colleagues, I think we equally face the same challenges but I can only speak from my own experiences and I won’t say that as a matter of fact.

On giving up

Too many times; it is really difficult being an entrepreneur.

The number of “no-s” that I have received, shut doors, emails that begin with “unfortunately…”, “we are sorry to inform you…” make me want to just pull the curtains and say “show is over”. Having a great support system such as co-founders who remind you why you are on the journey, family who let you cry on their shoulders and care about your welfare and employees who step up on your off days, keep me going.

There are too many things that make running a business very challenging in Nigeria, like epileptic internet service and stand-still traffic. Those little things that distract us from our focus also have the tendency to make us want to throw in the towel.

Being a woman of Rubies

I honestly don’t know what makes me one. I just strive daily to be an excellent leader, excellent co-worker, excellent wife, excellent mother, excellent daughter, excellent sister, excellent aunt and excellent friend. If I fail at any of it, it wouldn’t be from not trying.

Advice for Entrepreneurs, from a legal perspective                       

Getting it right from the beginning is very important. Put your books in order, file your tax returns, honor your agreements. Don’t wait until your big break is around the corner before you start scampering to do the right thing. The cost of non-compliance is more expensive than complying.

 

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CHUKWUNETA OBY: VICTIMS OF OUR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE…

Sometimes, all a lady seems to just want is a husband material, the type of man that comes with the right values, etc.

Then, when such a man seems to come her way, she realizes that he is a husband material quite alright, just that he lacks that “swag”, that sexiness, that “fine boy” edge…that excites. And he ends up being roundly abused!

Therefore, a man who has only treated a woman well ends up being paid back with ingratitude. All these and more have simply taught me that some of us are simply victims of our emotional damage. When a man is not mean to them and has not treated them badly… they don’t feel complete. Playboys seem to hold a permanent magnet of sorts on them. A decent guy is not easily appreciated by them.

Even after going through a harrowing experience in the hands of a man that has been mean to her, as soon as she catches her breath…she finds her way back to him-for more experiences.

The proclivity towards bad boys has a strong hold on most women. Yet we all know that it takes stability of (attitude) for a relationship to succeed…anything contrary leaves a trail of heartbreak and tears behind.

There are men that deafen one’s hearing with “wife material requests” but the moment a decent lady comes their way-they get bored faster than fast and begin to yearn for the wild ones. People, to whom “goodness” is lost on, get their kicks from being saddled with unpleasant characters.

One of my friends had been on my neck to help find him a wife.

When it seemed to me he was serious enough, I decided to show him some pictures of a few friends that are still in the singles market.

I didn’t bother asking him too many questions about the qualities he wants in a lady because experience has taught me that some of them can tell you all you want to hear-just to impress and make you conclude they’ve got their heads properly screwed on their shoulders-even when their body language is pointing to the things (freaky in nature) that are left unsaid.

So, I decided to come to my own conclusion by watching him. I observed that CHARACTER was not in the picture (yet) for him and he bluntly confirmed my worst fears by telling me that once he is OKAY with a lady’s looks-he can easily tolerate her character…

Interestingly, his past failed relationships have a similar trend (IN YOUR FACE looks –amongst the ladies), judging from the pictures of his EX (es) that he showed me. My only worry is that he continued to let LOOKS be the sole determinant of his choice of a marriage partner.

I expected him to veer from this norm for once and see if he can get a different outcome. That is my opinion, though!

He has made his choice and I have never stopped praying for the success of that “setting” because my humble neck is seriously at stake here-should anything go awry. I am the one that’s going to receive “you are siding with him/her’’ bullets from both sides, when things get out of hand and one has to intervene.

However, if you find yourself frustrated that all your niceness has not yielded results in your love life, please don’t fall prey to the mentality that you have to give up “being good” to attract someone.

Being less than yourself won’t fulfill you. Also, perish the thought that whom you love should love you back. Actually, no one owes you their affections because you feel you are good. Everyone’s heart is theirs to give at their own discretion and it cannot be demanded.

A friend once said: “Most Nigerian ladies don’t appreciate a good or gentle man because most times 99 per cent of men and women carry the baggage of the last bad relationships to the new one. They already expect the worse even before it happens. Yes, experience is a good teacher, but we stick more to the past and destroy the present and future in our relationships. Another thing is the attitude of “I will get and take what I can immediately first and forget about tomorrow’’. A wise man once told me and I quote “life and happiness is a journey and not a destination.”

But, this concludes it for me: ‘’Nigerians take everything as a destination, our life, our job, our family and love life, all as a destination. The situation in Nigeria has also changed the dynamics of relationships, most guys see women as commodities and women see men as opportunity to get and better their lot. We should look at relationships as a selfless venture for the one we love.’’

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YETTY WILLIAMS: HOW WOMEN BALANCE FOR BETTER AND DEAL WITH THE MATERNAL WALL

The International Women’s Day which is celebrated on the 8th of March every year is set aside to recognize women, how far we have come and to highlight how much work there is yet to go when it comes to gender equality. The theme this year is Balance for Better. I do not like to jump on trends without understanding what we are really highlighting. So I have been asking how women can balance for better and deal with the maternal wall.

Are you a woman married with children who suddenly got a superwoman cape? The average woman is expected to just carry on the way she was before children. Her job expects the same deliverables from her. In reality though, if she is a first time mum the increased demands on her time and emotions cannot be quantified. She might have a boss and team members who welcome her back after her maternity leave and see her as the same person who can deliver the same things. The other option is that she eventually experiences the maternal wall; the stereotypes, biases, and discrimination, both overt and silent that face a working mother.

What does Balance for Better really mean then?
For me, it really means that we must balance all our demands better. A working woman still carries the majority of the demands when it comes to caring for the home and the family. She is meant to give her all at work and give her all at home. The guilt is massive and constant. She feels guilty as a working mother who will miss some of her child’s activities or the first step. Movies really need to stop portraying this scene by the way; guess what your child will take a million steps. She feels guilty as a stay-at-home mum because she wishes she was more financially “balanced.”

The first thing to balance better is to accept that life is about sacrifices. We need to stop this narrative about having it all, at the same time, all the time. You see the argument about whether work-life balance is a myth or achievable will probably always be a topic. Depending on who you ask, it is either yes or no. I believe work-life balance is possible, you just need to know what balance looks like for you.

When you ask the average working mother what work-life balance looks like for her, she is probably comparing herself to some unattainable ideal, or cannot tell why she feels that she is not finding her balance. You cannot achieve what you cannot visualise.

More Balance All Around
We need more balance in the homes, on the job, in our finances and in the opportunities that we take.

Mothers need to be comfortable asking for help and be okay with not being able to say Yes to everything. It is okay to say No without apologizing or feeling bad! I read a life-changing book, called Essentialism, by Greg McKeown. My biggest take away from the book was that every time you say Yes you say No to something else.

This has been my life goals since then and helps me to strive for balance in all areas. If I say yes to something, I accept that there is something else I am saying no to in that moment or season.

Life is truly in seasons, the children need you when they are babies, they need you when they start school, they need you when they are choosing secondary school or jobs and need you when they start dating. The point is that your children will always need you in some shape or form, but will not always need you the same way or with the same intensity. How do you balance all the demands in your life? Be comfortable making sacrifices, saying no sometimes, so you can say yes to the things that matter to you.

Focus on what is important for you. Do not put your ladder against someone else’s wall! Is picking your child from school everyday more important to you than a demanding job that won’t give you flexi time? You have a choice to make. Are you in a job that is not paying you as much as your male colleagues? Make a case for an increase in salary without fear or guilt of seeming greedy.

Flexibility
When a woman becomes a wife and has children, she needs flexibility. I really believe working mothers need flexibility and yes, longer maternity leave.

The flexibility is, however, needed both at home and in the workplace. On my weekly radio parenting talk show today, a husband called and said he chose to sacrifice his job so that he can be more flexible and be a more hands-on parent; while his wife who is an engineer continues to rise in her career and go back to school for a higher degree. He said he takes care of most of the needs at home so she can focus on her job.

In the evening when she is too tired, he even pops out to buy her food from the local restaurant. This is what you call couple goals!

The real balance we seek as working women and wives starts with our spouses and the home first before we even talk about the workplace.

Balance The Stress and Demands
A working mother gets more added to her plate without adequately offloading her other activities to make up for the increased demands. She seems to be in a constant juggling act, with the demands on her time, work and demands of home and family. If not managed, this leads to a lot of stress.

Many women start home businesses to have more flexibility and to tend to the needs of their families. However, if you are not managed carefully the mumpreneur, carries the same stereotypes to her own business as well. She feels the need to prove that she can do it all and this just adds to the stress and demands without the benefits of the flexibility she was seeking. The difference now is that she is working even harder, and not earning enough, so money becomes a new stress point!

Work-Life Balance for Better
Work-life balance and the search for it will always be a thing. As a child, I remember my mum telling me that her dad always advised her to either be a teacher or work in the Government so that she will have adequate time for her family. I was a 9 to 5-er turned entrepreneur. In my quest to get more done, I announced to my daughter that I could no longer pick her and her brother from school everyday, to which she said “sorry I thought you were your own boss and so your time is flexible?” Said with such clarity at 11 years old! What difference a generation can make.

To all the women out there who want to balance for better, remember that balance starts with you. It starts with being honest with yourself, knowing what you want, what you can truly achieve and accepting that life comes with sacrifices. While we are at it we need to raise boys and girls who understand the need for balance and equality.

Source: Guardian

 

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AFRICAN WOMEN IN TECHNOLOGY CONFERENCE COMES TO LAGOS

The African Women in Technology (AWIT) Conference is making its debut in Nigeria this month.

The African Women in Technology (AWIT) is a network of African women who are creatively redefining the technology space in Africa and becoming key players and trendsetters in the World’s creative and innovative industries.

Founded by Anie Akpe, it has become a platform for technological advancement in Africa and beyond. The AWIT conference is scheduled to hold at Zone Tech Park in Lagos on March 29 and 30, 2019.

It is a yearly conference that brings together stakeholders and trendsetters in technological advancement around the world, with the spotlight on African women in technology both at home and in Diaspora.

The platform serves as a vehicle to push forward innovative ideas and encourage African women to step forward and get involved in the technological development of the continent, while providing support to propel their careers. It is a space to learn, unlearn and relearn relevant practices and acceptable business tools that will ensure success in their chosen professions.

Serving as a platform of inclusivity for all women in the African Technology Space, this two-day conference will provide an opportunity for extensive networking among women at diverse stages of their careers. Participants will learn, exchange ideas, interact with industry experts, and have the opportunity to speak with representatives of various tech companies, synergize, get insight on problems in African technology, and propose applicable solutions to these problems.

Heralding the launch of the third industrial revolution and the evolution of technology, digitisation has become a prominent part of our daily lives, thereby making technology indispensible. This conference will serve as a landmark event for recognising the available opportunities and mapping out strategies on how to grow as African women in technology.

Aptly themed: The Techazon Within You, the conference conveyers have expressed excitement about how much the AWIT network has positively impacted the lives of African women who are getting involved in the advancement of their technology sector and promoting growth in their communities, while advancing their career growth in the process.

This is why to further aid this developmental process, the conference boasts of insightful sessions like Tech Trends, Upgrade Your Skills, Cyber Security, Internet of Things, and other creative sessions that will serve to awaken the techazon within the participants and spur them unto greater professional breakthroughs.

As part of the networking session at the conference, participants will stand the chance to get group mentoring that will be sustained even after the conference, find internships and employment opportunities, meet people in their local communities who share the same interests and take advantage of the fast, affordable and reliable financing available at the conference.

Application to attend the conference is totally free of charge as all intending participants can now apply and reserve their seats by registering on the AWIT website.

Zone Tech Park is a Technology Park located in Gbagada Industrial Scheme, Lagos, which serves as a free co-working space for start-ups with an in-house engineering team of over 20 software developers and designers, legal, finance, marketing and fundraising teams. It was established by The Workforce Group, which is rated as Nigeria’s leading Human Resource Company, according to Business Insider Sub-Saharan Africa.

Since 2016, the African Women in Technology conference has held in Ghana, Kenya, Morocco, Mozambique and the United States, and has impacted the lives of over 1000 participating women. Since its inception, the conference has also received notable partnerships and sponsorship from Google, Flutterwave, Renmoney, Ibom LLC, Innov8tiv, ABAN Angels and other private bodies.

Source: Guardian

 

 

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GRACE ORISAKIYA: VOICE CATEGORIZATION IN THE WORKPLACE.

Your voice can be described in different ways, the most common definition is the sound the is being produced when you speak or sing, however, your voice could also be what your opinions are and how you are perceived. It isn’t just the sound but the message embedded in the sound of your voice.

In the corporate world, a career or professional voice may be described as how this message being conveyed in the sound of your voice can be of benefit to its owner.

This article will therefore highlight what you need to know about your professional voice and it’s applications.

The professional voice

Finding a professional voice is the first step in categorising your voice for the workplace. It provides you with the ability to have your personal voice which you use in informal meetings, gatherings or places and still be able to switch to your business or professional voice when necessary. (This improves your social and professional identity). The importance of having a professional voice is that it makes you credible, authentic, organized and it gets you coordinated for a presentation, job interview, business meeting, as well as impromptu meetings. It could be developed by using appropriate words or sentences, having a stable and comfortable pitch or speaking with a comfortable pace. Developing a Professional Voice will improve your ability to engage, connect & persuade when communicating to internal & external audiences. The Professional Voice gives you the confidence, techniques & skills to deliver your message effectively & achieve results. Based on my experience and research in social identity complexity (as related to the work place especially when an individual has various roles) one of the ways to categorize your identity is to develop these professional voices;

The unapologetic voice

The unapologetic voice enables you stand your ground against all odds in a meaningful yet respectful manner. The unapologetic voice make you voice out your values and beliefs in order to set boundaries. Finding this voice gives you confidence in your beliefs and helps you communicate in effectively. This does not mean you have to be rude, it is just being able to know what your values are, what you can and can’t do and being able to say it out and not keep it within you because if you do, you will be able to tolerate anything which may not be healthy.

The appealing voice

When it comes to finding the right tone to ask for a favour, we may all seem to have it but have you ever thought of that tone being misleading? The best way to go about it is by being straightforward about what favour you need and also concentrate on asking for the favour with more percentage of your voice rather than your body language. So, how is that done? With a softer tone and pleasant words (please, can you, I will be grateful, thank you, I’d really appreciate if you could.. ) these words help in conveying a direct message.

The approachable voice

Many people struggle to maintain a good first impression but what about a lasting impression? Your approachable voice should make others feel comfortable to have a discussion with you without having to think of how they might need to please you first. Using words like Hello, it is a pleasure meeting you, how may I help you,  lastly, having your concentration on the person you are communicating with and not being distracted by your PHONE.

Leadership voice:

As a leader, your major goal will be to get your followers to work together to achieve a common goal. Over the years, leaders have adopted various styles that can enable them achieve this fundamental goal. These leadership styles therefore can be seen as either an active voice or a passive voice.

Active voice: participating and coaching style is when a leader is actively engaging in the duties of the team either by joining in working with the team or helping the followers overcome the obstacles and challenges they are faced with by coaching them.

Passive voice: directing and delegating style. This style involves the leader assigning duties to each of the team members. Usually, leaders start by being actively involved in the teamwork and when the leader feels they are ready to work on their own, the passive voice is used to direct and delegate.

Remember, your voice is most effect when the message in the sound of your voice is unambiguous, clear and concise.

 

About Grace

Grace Asemota is a Business Psychologist (M.Sc) and a Certified Life Coach. She has partnered with Organizations and solopreneurs to grow their personal and professional brands and has coached students and staff in different institutions and organisations.

She continuously coaches and trains on the importance of goal setting, happiness, team management, personal development and self- confidence in a wide range of organisations (in Nigeria, UAE and US) and institutions by motivating staff to develop a collaborative culture and identify key factors that can enhance personal growth.

You can get in touch with her on

grace.orisakiya@gmail.com

LinkedIn @Grace Asemota-Orisakiya

 

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