As August rolls around, I find myself marking an incredible milestone – seven years since I made the courageous decision to walk away from a marriage that had turned into a battleground of pain and turmoil. This year, I celebrate the journey of healing, growth, and empowerment that I embarked upon after leaving a toxic relationship. My hope is that by sharing my story, I can inspire and encourage others who might be trapped in similar situations to take the step towards healing and liberation.
Looking back
I recognize how profoundly my marriage changed me. The trauma and betrayals altered my personality, eroded my self-trust, and cast a shadow of fear over my spirit. It felt like I lost myself in the process, and the wounds left me in a constant state of flight mode, always on guard against further pain.
But I refuse to be defined by those painful years. Instead, I chose to rise above my circumstances, embracing the strength that still resided within me. Over the course of these seven years, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing that has led me to a place of empowerment and self-love.
Healing
Healing is not a linear process; it’s a journey with its own twists and turns. There were days when I felt like I was making leaps forward, and others when I stumbled. Through it all, I learned the importance of honoring my own path, no matter how long it takes.
Forgiveness
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is the significance of forgiveness. It wasn’t about excusing the pain I endured; it was about freeing myself from the weight of anger and resentment. Forgiving my ex-husband was my way of taking back control of my emotions and moving forward without the burdens of the past.
To all the women who might be going through something similar, please know that you are not alone. Your pain is valid, and you deserve happiness, love, and respect. Leaving an abusive relationship takes immense courage, and it’s a step towards reclaiming your life.
Gratitude
I am incredibly grateful for the individuals who stood by me from the beginning – those who supported me instead of judging, those who chose to embrace me even when they didn’t fully understand. Your unwavering support has been a guiding light on this journey, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Remember, healing is not only about recovering from past wounds; it’s about reclaiming your power and embracing a future filled with possibilities. Healing allows us to shed the burdens of the past, rediscover our inner strength, and craft a life that aligns with our true selves.
7th Year of Liberation
On this anniversary, I stand as living proof that healing is a beautiful journey. It’s a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and the unwavering belief that you are worthy of a life filled with joy and fulfillment.
Let’s stand together, supporting one another through our individual journeys of healing and empowerment. Let’s create a community where each person’s path is honored and celebrated, and where we can find strength in our shared experiences.
In the ever-evolving landscape of professional excellence, women continue to shine as trailblazers, inspiring countless individuals with their achievements and contributions. In this article, we proudly present seven remarkable female professionals who stand as beacons of inspiration and empowerment. From innovative entrepreneurs to visionary leaders, these women have carved their paths to success, leaving an indelible mark on their respective industries.
Join us as we celebrate their journeys and glean valuable insights from their remarkable stories. Discover the strength, determination, and brilliance of these inspiring female professionals who are transforming the world and motivating others to reach new heights.
1. Pamela Anoliefo- The Scrum Master Trainer
Pamelais a trailblazing professional who immigrated to Canada with a burning passion for positive change and growth. With over 15 years of experience as a result-oriented Release Train Engineer, Scrum Master, and Project Manager, she has become a driving force in transforming organizations from traditional Project Management to Agile methodologies. Pamela’s successful track record spans diverse industries, including Fintech, Retail, and Financial Services.
Her expertise in Agile and Scaled Agile teams, along with her dedication to coaching and mentoring, makes her a true industry leader. Read more about her work here
2. Fola Adegoke – Trailbalzer In Cybersecurity
Fola Adegoke is the founder and lead Career Coach at Winfinite Consulting. She is a trailblazer in the field of Cybersecurity. With a passion for empowering professionals and a comprehensive understanding of career challenges and opportunities. With her expertise and passion, Fola has become a trusted guide and inspiration for professionals seeking success in cybersecurity.
Her journey is a testament to the power of determination, knowledge, and the relentless pursuit of one’s dreams. Check Fola’s work here
3. Kemi Ogunkoya – The Leadership Expert
Kemi is a celebrated leadership development strategist, management consultant, and author of the acclaimed book “The Leadership Guardian.” With a decade of experience under her belt, she has been at the forefront of conducting and facilitating impactful leadership development workshops both nationally and internationally. Kemi is also the mastermind behind The Dozen Model Leadership Framework, a powerful tool that has empowered countless individuals on their leadership journey.
4. Banke Oki-Balogun- The Educator
Banke Oki-Balogun is an exceptional educator with an unwavering passion for empowering young minds and transforming education. Hailing from a remarkable lineage of educators, armed with a Masters in Education and International Development from the Institute of Education, University College London (UCL), and a distinction in Master of Public Administration from Queen Mary University of London, Banke is recognized as a true authority in the field of education, even earning her a well-deserved Ph.D. scholarship from Queen Mary, University of London.
Her true innovation lies in the creation of Naijatutors Konnect, a groundbreaking online platform that harnesses the power of technology to connect exceptional Nigerian tutors with students across different geographical regions, bridging the educational divide and ensuring children receive the academic support they deserve. Check Banke’s work here
5. Oyinkansola Alabi – The Emotions Doctor
Oyinkansola Alabi, popularly referred to as The Emotions Doctor, is the Founder of Emotions City. Africa’s Leading Emotional Intelligence Centre. She is a Productivity Enhancement and Life Validation Strategist. A Psychologist by training, helps individuals, achievers and Organisations increase performance using emotional intelligence tools and proprietary methodologies.
Oyinkan is the first female founder of an Emotional Intelligence Academy in Africa and is the convener of Africa’s first Emotional Intelligence Week.
6. Nora Agbakhamen – The Impact Storyteller
Norais a storytelling expert who is making waves as one of Nigeria’s most influential figures on LinkedIn. Through her work, she empowers businesses to get noticed and thrive by leveraging the power of content and storytelling. With a decade of experience as a skilled content creator and writer, Nora possesses the knowledge to elevate brands, boosting their credibility, visibility, and profitability.
Holding a Mass Communication degree from the University of Maiduguri, Nora’s passion for honing her craft led her to earn a certificate in Persuasive Writing and Public Speaking from Harvard University (HarvardX) and a certificate in Investigative Journalism from BBC MacArthur Foundation. Additionally, she has acquired multiple certifications in the art of storytelling, further solidifying her expertise in this field.
7. Ashley Wright – The Bitcoin Queen
Ashley Wright is a young entrepreneur and motivational speaker from Toronto, Canada. Starting her first business at the age of 17, she went on to create two successful ventures: The Wright Success, focused on self-development and business coaching, and Study Cryptos, an online academy simplifying Cryptocurrency and Blockchain Technology learning. Ashley’s passion for empowerment and innovation shines through as she inspires individuals to become their best selves and makes complex subjects accessible to all.
We celebrate these amazons for their tenacity and professionalism.
Want to accelerate your digital and media footprint? Click hereto register for the Media Visibility Bootcamp
Women of Rubies is proud to announce our much-awaited Media Visibility Bootcamp, an event designed to empower and equip aspiring women entrepreneurs with essential skills to amplify their brand’s presence through media channels. Let’s introduce you to our esteemed lineup of speakers who are trailblazers in their fields. Each speaker brings a wealth of knowledge and experience, ready to share valuable nuggets to help you unlock the power of media visibility. Get ready to be inspired and informed as we delve into the details of this transformative event!
An Expert in Media Strategy with over 10 years of experience in media strategy and branding, Estheris a force to be reckoned with in the industry. As the founder of Women of Rubies, she will reveal the secrets behind crafting compelling media campaigns that capture attention and drive results. Get ready to learn the art of storytelling to resonate with your audience and boost your brand’s visibility.
2. Tosin Ajibade, Founder- Olorisupergal
Tosin Ajibade, also known as Olorisupergal, is a Nigerian media entrepreneur, blogger, and influencer. Through her popular blog, Olorisupergal.com, she has become a leading figure in Nigerian media and entertainment. With a strong social media presence and engaging content, Tosin has amassed a large following and has been recognized with numerous awards for her contributions to the industry. She will share practical tips and tricks to harness the power of social media marketing and create an engaged community around your brand.
3. Brenda Okorogba, Founder-MomentswithBren
A multi-award-winning service and learning experience designer, Brenda is the founder of Momentswithbren Consulting, a professional training and coaching company. Known for creating targeted learning solutions, Brenda has helped diverse students and professionals secure significant funding, transition into dynamic careers, and develop their leadership abilities. She will share tips on how to use thought leadership to expand your reach in the digital landscape.
Nora is an exceptional content creator and LinkedIn influencer. With a decade of experience in content creation and storytelling, she helps businesses gain visibility and increase revenue. Nora’s rapid growth on LinkedIn, where she’s nurtured a community of over 100,000 individuals, is a testament to her expertise and influence.
5. Gusi Tobby, Brand Strategist & Founder- Girl Hub Africa
Gusi Tobby is a social impact strategist, communications expert, and PR and Media relations specialist. She’s made significant contributions in diverse industries such as Finance, Fashion & Lifestyle, Social Development, and Telecoms. She’s the founder of Girl Hub Africa, Nigeria’s largest all-female volunteering organization, focused on closing gender disparities. From crafting compelling pitches to establishing fruitful media relationships, she will share the PR strategies that lead to meaningful visibility.
6. Chichi Uchendu, Founder- Six Figure Mom
Chichi Uchendu is a passionate advocate for financial literacy and a skilled Digital Marketing Consultant. Through her platform, “Six Figure Mom,” Chichi teaches women essential principles of financial literacy, equipping them to take control of their financial future. In her role as Team Lead at Dynamics Virtual Assistant, she helps businesses across the globe leverage the power of online platforms. She will share tips on how to make money.
With such an exceptional lineup of speakers, our Women of Rubies Media Visibility Bootcamp promises to be an event like no other. Mark your calendars for a day filled with invaluable insights and actionable strategies to unlock the true potential of your brand through media visibility. Don’t miss this opportunity to learn from the best and join us on August 11th and 12th on Zoom. Be prepared to take your brand to new heights with our inspiring speakers leading the way!
The Chinaza Favour Writing Challenge is an esteemed literary competition celebrating creativityin the realms of Fiction, Non-Fiction, and Poetry.
This annual challenge, established in 2021, aims to provide a platform for creative writers in the genresof Fiction, Non-Fiction, and Poetry, celebrating their exceptional talents and promoting their works. By exploring diverse themes each year, the challenge encourages writers to express themselves authentically, reaching new audiences and propelling their writing careers forward.
In this edition, Chinaza Favour is collaborating with Worital, one of Africa’s publishing companies to make the challenge even bigger and better as Worital recognizes the profound influence of literature in shaping and transforming destinies.
Challenge details
Writers of all genres are invited to explore the theme “The Phoenix: A Tale of Reinvention and Rebirth” and showcase their literary prowess in captivating narratives, insightful essays, and heartfelt verses.
Word count: 400-500 words
The challenge welcomes all aspiring writers, offering a unique opportunity to craft compelling and concise pieces that capture the essence of the theme while leaving a lasting impact on readers.
To enter, participants are to submit their entries in two parts: Social Media Submission and Website Submission.
Social Media Submission
For social media submission, participants are encouraged to post their entry on their public Facebook or Instagram accounts, tagging Chinaza Favour (on Facebook) or @thechinazafavour (on Instagram) and Worital (on both platforms), and using the designated hashtags: #ChinazaFavourWorital, #ThePhoenixChallenge, and #ChinazaFavoursWritingChallenge.
For Website Submission, participants need to follow the same social media instructions and then visit www.worital.com/cfwc2023 to complete the submission form. They are required to provide their details and include the link to their social media entry, as well as an attachment of a doc or docx file of their piece.
Timeline: Submissions open on the 17th of July and ends on the 24th of July, 2023.
Winners will be announced in the first week of September, 2023, and their outstanding achievements will be showcased in various media outlets, including a feature in a national newspaper.
Recognition and Prizes
The recognition and prizes for this year’s challenge are truly remarkable.
Each winner from the Fiction, Non-Fiction, and Poetry categories will be awarded a publishing deal worth 500,000 Naira with Worital, an esteemed publishing house. In addition to this, winners will receive a beautifully customized plaque of honor, shipped to their address, with winners outside Nigeria covering the shipping cost. Furthermore, winners will be presented with cash prizes not yet disclosed at the moment.
The top 20 submissions from each category will be curated into a captivating ebook, titled “The Phoenix Chronicles,” which will be published on Worital’s innovative book app, BookPlaze. Contributors will receive full credit for their work, providing them with valuable exposure to a wider audience.
To join The Chinaza Favour Writing Challenge and unleash your literary brilliance, visit www.worital.com/cfwc2023. For inquiries, please contact Idowu at +234 701 095 9874.
The award-winning initiative, Canada’s Total Mom Pitch presented by TD, has selected the top 100 semi-finalists of its entrepreneurship program. Celebrating its fifth year, Total Mom Inc. provides invaluable support to Canadian women entrepreneursthrough the power of education and community.
The selected semi-finalists will participate in a three-week business program introducing mom entrepreneurs to industry experts. During this time, these women will gain insights into how to expand their businesses and strengthen their business pitch.
Total Mom Inc is a professional community network helping ambitious women-owned founders grow their businesses while juggling motherhood. The semi-finalists are business owners from coast to coast who have been diligent in establishing their brand. They represent a variety of industries including food and beverage, fitness, health and wellness, beauty, children and family products and services.
The top five finalists will be selected and invited to pitch their business live at the Canadian Women Entrepreneur Industry Gala (CWEgala) on May 30, 2023, in front of leading companies, executive judges, media and influencers. The prizes include non-dilutive funding, business services, and more to be announced.
“We are at the heart of the small business communities across Canada serving busy parents and women-led businesses, making growing their business just a bit easier so they can truly focus on what fuels their fire and the families they are growing”, said Anna Sinclair, CEO and Founder of Total Mom Inc. “Our goal is to create a powerful, educated and strategic community to prepare mom entrepreneurs for the future”.
Total Mom partners with some of North America’s biggest companies to help busy moms access education, connections and funding. This year, Total Mom is proud to partner with TD, Bell, huumans, Vista, Henry Brooks LLP, Trainual, North Road Digital, UPS and the Women Entrepreneurship Knowledge Hub (WEKH).
Jenn Harper – Founder and Chief Executive Officer, Cheekbone Beauty
Dr. Wendy Cukier – Founder & Academic Director of the Diversity Institute, Academic Director of the Women Entrepreneurship Hub, and Research Lead of the Future Skills Centre
“Owning a business and being a mom of two myself, I understand how difficult it is to balance work and family life. I also know how important it is to have a strong support system and to have others believe in you”, expressed Stephanie Palasti, Partner and Vice President of Client Solutions at The Influence Agency. “It’s an honour to be on this panel with other moms supporting and encouraging each other to go after their dreams”.
After five years of the Total Mom Pitch, this is the best year for women entrepreneurs to grow their business. This opportunity is allowing moms across Canada to be recognized in-person at a 250+ gala with industry champions. For more information, visit www.totalmompitch.ca.
About the Total Mom Inc.
Total Mom Inc. is a professional community network helping ambitious women founders start and grow their businesses while juggling motherhood. Established in 2017, Founder & CEO Anna Sinclair started Total Mom Inc. after discovering a need for more valuable support offered to busy moms like her. Total Mom Inc. is a 100 percent women-owned company helping women across Canada access education and connections to break down barriers and build a profitable, sustainable business. Total Mom is the fastest-growing professional community of mom entrepreneurs, serving over 20,000 moms and growing. It does so through its award-winning programs and partnerships with North America’s largest brands. For more information, visit www.totalmom.ca
About Canada’s Total Mom Pitch
Canada’s Total Mom Pitch is an award-winning entrepreneurship, business pitch and awards program produced by Total Mom Inc. that aims to support women to start and grow profitable and sustainable businesses. It empowers real women with an ambitious vision to overcome the barriers they face as modern moms in today’s unpredictable economy.
The grant and awards program helps Canadian women who are growing their businesses and raising families to access entrepreneurship support, new opportunities and funding as well as education, mentorship and community support. Currently, in its fifth year, Canada’s Total Mom Pitch is Canada’s largest small business pitch grant and awards program for mom entrepreneurs.
The judges are comprised of some of Canada’s most successful women executives from major brands, as well as influential coaches. The program helps applicants see potential gaps in their start-up businesses, giving them an advantage in their business journeys. Total Mom Pitch partners with companies supporting equality, diversity and inclusion. It does so through recognition, awards, scholarships, and partnership opportunities for business growth. For more information, visit www.totalmompitch.ca
Esther Ijewere is a multi-award-winning journalist, author, entrepreneur, activist, and brand Influencer. She is passionate about advocacy, media visibility, and counseling on issues centered around women, family values, mental and emotional well-being, and sharing inspiring stories.
She is also the founder of Rubies Ink Initiative for Women and Children, an umbrella organization that covers several women and girl child-related projects including Walk Against Rape, Women of Rubies, Project Capable, and the College Acquaintance Rape Education outreach programme.
Women of Rubies
As a storyteller, she uses her Women of Rubies newspaper column and online platform to highlight the contributions of Nigerian-Canadian women. Esther’s stories often focus on the experiences of women, particularly those of Nigerian-Canadian women, and the unique challenges they face as immigrants in Canada. She has featured over one thousand women since the inception of the platform in 2015.
Author of two books
Esther Ijewere took her activism to another level by authoring her first book in 2013 book titled “Breaking the Silence” which is a guide to educating young women on the knowledge needed to survive sexual situations. The book also emphasizes that every woman is prone to being sexually assaulted at some point in her life and provides guidance on places to avoid and the existence of laws to protect against perpetrators.
The book has helped to create an avenue for people to come forward with their stories without fear of stigmatization and more than 50,000 copies have been donated, and it is endorsed by the Ministry of Women Affairs in Nigeria.
Esther’s book is available for order via book.estherijewere.com
Esther is also the host of #GettalkingwithEsther, a syndicated Youtube and Instagram live online talk show anchored by Esther aimed at helping people find their voice and communicate their thoughts through words, and promote positivity on social media.
Vital Voices
She is a Fellow with Vital Voices Global Leadership USA and has dedicated her life to counseling and advocacy in these areas. She has toured over 20 secondary schools to provide counsel and share messages of hope, and frequently participates in public dialogues, panels, and roundtables to share stories, experiences, and insights on a wide range of topics affecting women and girls.
Awards and recognition
Esther Ijewere is a young leader who has received numerous awards. She is the youngest recipient of The Idea Builders Women Mentoring Women Award, winning Mentee of the Year in 2010 and the “Women Enterprise Award” from Vital Voices International & Exxon Mobil.
In 2012, she received the award for “Best Use of Advocacy” from her alma mater, Olabisi Onabanjo University. In 2016, Esther won four awards for her platform Women of Rubies, including “Young Person of the Year” , “Wise Women in Media” “Social Entrepreneur of the Year” and “Social Innovation Awards” awards.
She was recently nominated for the Universal Women’s Network – Women of Inspiration awards in Canada.
Esther continues to be recognized for her advocacy and leadership in the field of women’s rights and empowerment.
I just can’t do it anymore!” , “I am tired of life” We have all said it at least once in our life. But before you throw in the towel, tell yourself these 8 things to give yourself the last ounce of motivation you need to accomplish the impossible:
1. Take a break
Get up, stretch and take a brief walk. Even taking a few minutes away from a stressful situation can help you come back with a fresh mind and determination to tackle your difficult task.
2. You are doing this for a reason
Remember why you started. Maybe you picked up a second job to provide for your family or maybe you volunteered to bake 50 cookies to support your child’s bake sale on Saturday. No matter the task, remind yourself why you need to follow through. Remembering the purpose behind your daunting load can give you the motivation to carry on.
3. Asking for help doesn’t make you a failure
Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of humility. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. The people who love you want to help you any way they can.
4. This is a challenge for you
It’s OK to admit something is difficult. You don’t have to stay in denial. Accept your challenges and decide to face them with confidence and optimism.
5. Be grateful
List at least one thing you’re grateful for. It can be tough to come up with things you’re thankful for when you feel like the world is crumbling, but take a moment to focus on the good in your life.
What you’re going through is difficult, but you can get through it. Things always seem more challenging when you’re in the thick of it. Remind yourself it’s possible even when it doesn’t feel like it is.
7. Here’s the plan
Break your large project into smaller tasks to make it easier to accomplish. For example, if your goal is to have a clean home, focus on one room at a time. Looking at the project as a whole can be overwhelming and leave you stressed and unmotivated to continue. Tackle one thing at a time, and you’ll be surprised at how much you can accomplish.
8. Release negativity
Give up things that are holding you back – negative thoughts about yourself, frustration, worry or whatever else. You will find it’s easier to focus when bothersome thoughts are pushed out of your mind.
Whatever your challenge may be, you’ve got this. You’ve done hard things before and you can do it again. Assume your Wonder Woman pose and conquer your responsibilities like the super hero you are.
For the third time in 3 years, the remarkable impact of outstanding career women is set to take the centre stage as 9to5Chick announces a call for nominations for its 100 Top Career Women in Africa.
Launched in 2020, the 9to5Chick’s 100 Top Career Women in Africais a distinctive recognition that brings to the spotlight the accomplishments and contributions of audacious women in the business and corporate sector. Previously, this recognition was exclusively for women in Nigeria but has now expanded its focus to honor and celebrate women from all over Africa.
Founder of 9to5Chick, Glory Edozien (PhD), believes that “corporate African women do great work but rarely receive the recognition they deserve.” Many who are so focused on hardwork have deliberately shunned the spotlight thereby denying the emerging generation of female visionaries the opportunity to learn from their expertise and get inspired by their work. By recognising these women, we secure a thriving future for the next generation of audacious women.
This recognition also serves the IWD 2023 campaign theme #EmbraceEquity as 9to5chick seeks to celebrate women who challenge gender stereotypes, and have broken the glass ceilings in their respective fields, forging positive change, especially in fields that are male dominated.
Nominations are currently ongoing and are set to close on 20th February, 2023. Click HERE to nominate your top career women.
Meet The Judges
For this selection, 9to5chick has set up an advisory panel consisting of 5 independent judges with passion and demonstrated history in identifying and selecting women deserving of this recognition. They will be reviewing the nomination list alongside the founder of 9to5chick, Glory Edozien. These judges are:
Funke Amobi
Funke is a globally recognised Human Resources professional and multiple award winner. She has over 25 years of experience across Oil & Gas, Banking & Telecommunications sectors and currently serves as the Regional Head for People & Culture Nigeria & West Africa for Standard Bank Group with the responsibility for shaping the people and culture strategy across six countries.
Yemi Faseun
Yemi is a business leader with over 30 years of multi-sector, multi-function experience. He is currently the Chief Talent Officer at YT Talent Officer and was a two-term elected council member of the Chartered Institute of Personnel Management (CIPM). He has received a number of global recognitions such as Top 8 HR Thought Leader in Africa, Top 50 Personality on LinkedIn, 2022 Top 200 Global Thought Leader among others.
Osayi Alile
Osayi is the CEO of Aspire Coronation Trust Foundation and has over 25 years of experience across different sectors. She is an experienced Council Member with a demonstrated history of working in the non-profit organisation management industry. She has also been named one of the African Women of the Year in 2015.
Nkiru Olumide – Ojo
Nkiru is currently the Africa Regions Executive Head, Marketing Corporate Communications & CSI at Standard Bank Group. She leads a diverse team across African countries to deliver business objectives through Brand Marketing, Corporate Communications, and Corporate Social Investment. Over the course of her 20 years across career, she has gotten several recognitions such as Leading Woman in Marketing and Communications 2016, Marketing Personality of the year among others. She is also a published author of the ‘Pressure Cooker-Lessons from a woman at work’ and is a female enthusiast.
Tewa Onasanya
Tewa Onasanya is a British-Nigerian publisher, philanthropist, Author and Mindset Stylist. She is the Founder/CEO of Exquisite Magazine Services Ltd, the publishers of Exquisite Magazine and the organizers of EMAC Walk and ELOY Awards. Tewa has been featured in numerous international and Nigerian media which include the CNN, BBC, New York Times, Wikipedia, Punch, Guardian, Thisday, Vanguard and more newspapers, Television and Radio stations. She has won several awards internationally and in Nigeria.
Nominees will be judged based on excellence in leadership and performance, personal accomplishments, commitment to sharing knowledge and have challenged gender stereotypes
This list will be released on the 27th of March 2023 and will consist of 100 women in 20 categories:
Healthcare
Energy
Media and communication
Technology
Financial services
Environment and Agriculture ● Development
Management and consulting
Hospitality and event management
Legal services
Marketing, Advertising and PR
Recruitment and HR ● Engineering ●
Public services and administration
Telecommunication
Aviation
Oil and gas
Beauty and Fashion
Manufacturing and FMCG
Nominate a deserving career woman today by clicking HERE
9to5Chick is Africa’s leading career development platform for women, founded by Glory Edozien (PhD). Its mission is to help women in mid and senior-level careers build visibility and thought leadership, while also assisting organisations in identifying, training, and retaining top female talent.
Mary Oyohosuho Phillip Is a sickle cell warrior, a sickle cell advocate, a Confidence Coach and Skin Care Consultant. Mary is the first Sickle Cell Warrior in her family, out of 3 in total 5 kids. Mary suffered severe complications of sickle cell, and was bedridden for 3 years, this resulted in deformity.
She has managed to further her higher institution learning walking with two sticks. Mary’s lived experience as a sickle cell survivor is a tool she continuously used to inspire, motivate and encourage people. She goes to schools, churches to share her survivor story.
In this interview with Esther Ijewere, the founder of Jesus Girls Club, Int’l shares her inspiring story.
Childhood Influence
I can truly say that my childhood prepared me for what I am doing today. While growing up, I watched my parents give their all to serving humanity and affecting the life of people positively. I have admired and wished to affect the lives of people just the way my parents were doing, and that has given me that push in life and has brought me to where I am and what I am doing today.
What Inspired Me To Be A Sickle Cell Advocate
What basically inspired me to be a sickle cell advocate is first, me being a sickle cell warrior, having two other siblings being warriors too in total making three warriors in the family. Secondly, losing my younger brother to sickle cell. Thirdly how sicklecell got me deformed, all the excruciating pain, discomfort, and all that comes with it. Going through all this I became dedicated in creating sickle cell awareness for people to prevent birthing children with the sickle cell disease.
Going by all the social vices that we hear daily in our society which affect the girl child, I always get heartbroken and think of a way to change the narrative. Social vices like early pregnancy, rape, molestation, sexual abuse etc. when I hear and watch young ladies in other part of the world doing amazing thing in their different field endeavors , this challenges and motivate me to want to groom and teach teenage girls starting from my community , to my country and to the world at large on having good morals, building a healthy self esteem self discovery and purpose driven life.
Another major thing that motivated me to start Jesus girls club was when I heard that in this age and time teenage girls still make use of cloth pieces, that is, rags to care for themselves when on their menstrual flow which is unhygienic to their health. This broke my heart completely.
The Journey So Far
The journey since I started my organization has been full of ups and downs. At the beginning it was going smoothly but along the way many obstacles and challenges came up. At one point I gave up completely, but my passion for this vision brought me back on track.
Challenges
There are so many challenges :first lack funds . Since after my NYSC my inability to get a job was a big challenge in carrying out my vision but the little business I was doing and the passion kept the vision running. Then the second challenge was reaching out to these teenage girls in remote rural communities where roads are accessible, and I don’t sit so well on a bike. So in general, funds and mobility are my major challenges.
wow! Am certain that my work has inspired other sickle cell advocate because so many Warriors always reach out to me in my inbox, telling me how I inspire and motivate them to do better in their advocacy.
There are so many other projects and activities lined up for my organization. First, getting my foundation registered with the corporate affairs position (CAC) ready so I can operate officially. Presently there is a project at hand called: “BACK TO SCHOOL CAMPAIGN”. My organization will be providing writing materials such as Notebooks, pens, pencils, erasers etc for children in public schools whose parents can’t afford those materials for them. There are many other projects coming up and this is a call for people to sponsor and partner with me in achieving this.
What I Enjoy Most About My Job
What I enjoy most about my job is seeing smiles on the faces of people we reach out to. My prayers to God when I was growing up, was that God should use me as a channel to bring joy into the life of people so, for God to help me in this little capacity, gives me great joy and I want God to bless me more to do greater Exploits and reaching out to more & more people within Nigeria, Africa & the world at large. That will be my greatest joy.
3 Women Who Inspire Me And Why
Since I began this Journey, there are three (3) powerful women I have seen & they inspire me greatly they are:
1. Esther Ijewere [Founder, WOMEN OF RUBIES]
2. Dr. Adesoye Tosin (Founder Sickle Celebs)
3. My Mother Mrs. Blessing O. Phillip
1. Esther Ijewere is one woman I love so much, she inspires me. Since I came across her on Facebook, I always rush to her page everyday to read what she has posted. I admire her strength,I admire her supporting women and generally I classify her as Beauty & Brains.
2, The Second woman that inspires me so much is Dr. Adesoye Tosin, the founder of Sickle celebs. When I began the journey of advocacy for sickle cell. The first woman I came across with the same issue as mine is Dr Tosin. I thought to myself, if a young lady with sickle cell can go study a course as tedious as medicine and still do well in it then, she is worth emulating and this got me inspired.
3.. The third woman that motivates me is my biological mother Mrs. Blessing O.philip. a woman who is my first teacher, doctor, prayer warrior and caregiver. A woman that never stopped loving and caring for myself and my siblings after the demise of my beloved dad, despite our many health challenges. My super hero, my strong support system, my disciplinarian but correct in love I admire her strength, perseverance, doggedness.
On The Stigmatization Of Sickle Cell Warriors
one thing I will say to people who stigmatize sickle cell warriors is that “STIGMATIZATION IS VERY BAD”. No one choose to be born with sickle cell or any other health challenge. Stop stigmatization, show love, empathy to sickle cell warriors. Do not discriminate, we deserve to love and to be loved in return.
What Government Should Do To Support Sickle Cell Warriors
The government should make the health facilities & health insurance available and accessible to sickle cell patients in our hospitals. Routine drugs and medical checkup should be provided or made cheap for sickle cell warriors / caregivers to afford.
Being A Woman of Rubies
I am an extraordinary lady who lives an exemplary life for the younger generation to emulate. A go-getter, a warrior who never gives up. A fearless woman, courageous, tenacious. A lady who works towards leaving an impactful footprint on the sands of time
What I Would Say To A Young Person On The Verge Of Giving Up
“GIVING UP SHOULD NOT BE AN OPTION”. Embrace life to the fullest. Believe in God, and yourself and Hope for a better tomorrow. Put in your own efforts, because “THERE IS A PRICE FOR EVERY PRIZE”. Thank you
I never imagined I’d be a single mom one day. I grew up believing one day I would marry, stay married and have kids. Nothing prepared me for this lone parenthood journey. Absolutely Nothng!
Now….that’s not a complain. I have been on this journey for 7 years and I’m getting better at my solo parenting life, taking each day as it comes and intentionally staying happy for myself and my amazing children. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but It’s a job you do with relish and pleasure, and with the understanding that “You are doing your best.”
While I won’t like to go into the context of my lived experience, and why I became a single mom, I don’t wish whatever led me to this journey on my worst enemy. We live in a world where people only ask the “why” questions when they meet a single mother instead of understanding the “how”, they are ready to judge and throw you under the bus even without having the full picture.
If you had to choose between being a single mom or being married to a man who is destroying your soul, you would choose being a single mom every time. I’ve been through some experiences in my life but nothing quite prepared me for my separation. It hit me hard, it hit me deeply.
With two children who are just 1 year and 7 months apart, I had to teach my mind to be stronger than my emotions. I had to learn how to filter my connections and disengage from folks who were bent on misunderstanding my plight.
The Emotional Struggle Of Being A Single Mom
I quickly got used to being a single mom. It wasn’t too difficult. I had been living in an environment where I constantly had to fight to protect myself and my children. The hardest part I think was the emotional torment I was going through which everyone suffers during a messy separation.
When you are a single mom, you don’t always get the luxuries others get.
You can’t ask your partner to watch the kids while you go to the gym or walk around the block.
I am not too much of a social butterfly but I know the importance of socializing, and having support. When I started coming out of my shell to share my story and build a support system, things changed.
Starting From Rock Bottom As A Single Mom
Moving out of my home country was one of the most difficult, yet necessary decisions I had to make. I had less family support and the responsibility of solo parenting became even greater. I remember how I couldn’t sleep that first night as a lone parent.
Adapting to single parenting was a little tricky and I sometimes felt like some people don’t understand how difficult it is. Single parents hardly ever get a break, unless they have a strong support network or family willing to step in but all too often that is not the case.
Financially raising my children on my own is difficult. As a single mother the income was much less than that of a couple with kids and I often felt the pinch on the purse strings. The money goes as fast as it comes, that’s even If it comes at all.
My plan to dive right back into work was stalled because I wanted to be a present parent. I was so attached to my girls that I almost made a decision to be a stay-at-home mom, but how do we survive If I don’t get up and play my part. The sacrifices I had to make even while working has stalled my career growth.
Sadly, the world would view you as weak or incapable, when In actual fact you are slowing down so your children can fly in the future.
Don’t Judge Single Mothers
The thing is I do think there is a stigma even in today’s society when you are a single parent. Rather than sit and judge it would be better for people to help and support. It’s better to ask questions than assume a woman just woke up and decided to be a single parent.
You never really know how or why they ended up a single parent, so please the next time you see a single parent, let your sense of empathy over-ride your judgement and assumption. There are women who have gone through situations they are still healing from. Don’t judge or nail them to the cross.
Some parents split up, others lose partners to cancer and horrible diseases, others were just unfortunate to meet the wrong partner, and while they can walk away from that person, they won’t do that to children they brought into the world.
I guess the point I am trying to make is we should worry less about why someone is a single parent and think more about what we can do to help and support because single parenting is not easy.
The Loneliness
One thing I really didn’t expect was the intense isolation that comes with being a single mom. When you’re married, you’re often so used to your partner’s constant presence that you can crave having the house to yourself—an evening alone seems like bliss from a distance.
The Mental Stress
This is the part of the journey no one warned me about, but it’s the reality of every single parent. There is one parent to go around now and my kids definitely feel it. You feel it too. You are constantly on a think and plan mode, what they wear to school, what they eat, making the best decisions for them, putting them first. It’s alot for one person, and it affects your emotional wellbeing sometimes….
Anyway, I’d rather learn how to de-stress and handle what I can than go back to what broke me.
Vetting Of Potential Partners
With all this independence and empowerment, I’ve become very unwilling to give up or even share my new life with anyone. I’m being cautious. I’m wary of needing someone too much, of leaning on them instead of myself.
Perhaps this is the effect of living with an abusive partner who stressed me mentally and emotionally, and now I don’t want to give up the healed version of me to someone who probably has his emotional baggage too.
I set my dating boundaries from the get-go, It probably makes me come off as a little on the edge. You know what they say about life being a teacher? You learn the hard way, but don’t become hard, be smart. Unfortunately, the reverse is the case for abusive partners, they move on easily.
When a car hits a person, the accident victim might spend the rest of their life nursing the Injury. The owner of the car probably won’t feel the impact of the accident. He would still live his life and drive round, while the victim nurse the pain. That’s what I tell folks who judge and are quick to say, things like, “Oh, but the person you claim is abusive has moved on”…
In conclusion, before you judge another single mom, remember you didn’t live through their pain, If you don’t have kind words to say to a lone parent, please, don’t say anything at all.
Life is hard for many already, don’t make it harder. We are trying to make lemonades from the lemons life threw at us.
Are you a single mom? Would you like to join a group of for single mothers for financial support and empowerment ? Join Single Moms Ville
Dedication
I dedicate this article to all the single moms out there, and to Late Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi , who was a member of our community, and one of the first women I I spotlighted as a Columnist in Guardian Newspaper. May her gentle soul rest in peace.
Late Dr. Olabisi Igbalajobi
About the Writer
Esther ijewere Is a multi-award winning Social Activist, Journalist, Writer, Best-selling Author, Host of the Youtube syndicated show; #GettalkingwithEsther and a certified PR expert with over 10 years of experience. Esther has spotlighted over 1000 women across the globe, Interviewed First ladies, A-list celebrities and giants of different industries. She is the Editor-In-Chief of Women of Rubies, and other development initiatives recognized globally. Follow her on Linkedin, Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.
