Marriage - Women of Rubies

In self development May 6, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“HER DAYS OF AN UNDESERVING AND UNDER PERFORMING PARTNER ARE OVER” – PATRICK DOYLE’S ODE TO IRETI DOYLE IS A MUST READ!

A couple of days ago, Nollywood actress Ireti Doyle celebrated her birthday.

Her husband and actor Patrick Doyle shared a long and important message for Ireti which he titled “An Ode to a Great Lady“.

In the message, he comes close to confirming rumors of a dispute between the two of them. He admits that he has been in the “dog house” and was recently released.

Patrick Doyle thanks Ireti for her compassion and he pledges that there shall never be another “cock up”.

Read the full message below.

AN ODE TO A GREAT LADY

This is my tribute to a great Lady, my life has almost always revolved around strong women. The first strong woman in my life was the enigmatic Angela Bassey Doyle, who while still grieving as a young widow gave birth to me and stayed unmarried to nurture me. She stayed around as a strong pillar in my life till I was well in my 40’s before she passed away. Next was my aristocratic sister Ayodeji Omobolanle Alakija, the 2nd of two daughters of my great mother. She unfortunately passed on in her 40’s but in her life time was the very epitome of grace, and courage. She was not ” lucky in the love department ” as she was the victim of a loveless and fraudulent marriage, yet she carried on with the panache that only an Alakija is able to. My life would me incomplete without mentioning the mother of 3 of my sons, the very forthright Rosamond Emechete.

Who in spite of her fragile health gave me 3 very handsome sons and sadly passed on 7 months after the birth of our last son, Eyitemi. Shortly after the passing of Rosamond, God sent me an angel. Not only did this angel dry my tears, comfort my soul and lift my spirit at the lowest point in my life, but she showered my boys with the highest quality of care that I have ever seen a mother give her children. I have been young and now I am older, and I have never seen a woman more loving , caring and devoted than this lady. She not only ignored the taunting of “true friends ” who queried what she was doing with a “broke ass” like me. Frankly, if she was my sister , I would have asked her the same question.

Have I always justified or honored her courageous decision to stick with me through thick and thin? The answer is a big resounding NO. If any thing I have been most undeserving of the affection of this most uncommon woman. Have I taken her Love for granted? You bet I have, why? because like most men , I am prone to being a jerk. I can not count how many times she has had to pick up the slack when I have failed in my duties as a husband and father. She has with the greatest sense of responsibility been the rock of our family. Without a doubt she is the most generous woman I know, a dependable friend, a loyal ally and the most loving and sensual woman ever.
Lately I had been less than worthy of her affection and was deservedly put in the proverbial “dog house”. As usual , she has with compassion taken me out of the “dog house” and reinstated all my rights and privileges as the Lord and Master of the home. I know that at the back of her mind , she’s mentally preparing for my next “cock up”.
I hereby pledge that there shall never be another “cock up”. Her days of an undeserving and under performing partner are over. Her love and devotion over the years will never go unrewarded . My Angel has proven that a good woman can by her conduct ” convert an unbelieving husband”, that is not to say I am an unbelieving husband, maybe recalcitrant would better describe what I was. I am now a truly ” born again” husband. I now publicly proclaim that I am married to The Best Woman Alive. Now, I know that God truly loves me for sending me the ” Angel Of My Life” (apologies to Paul Play).

Monday the 21st of December will make it 15 years since this most classy lady uttered the words ” I DO” to me in the presence of God and Man. The last 15 years have been any thing but smooth, true the ride has been bumpy with My Angel bearing the brunt of the rough times, but by the Grace of God those days are over In Jesus Name.
Isaiah 42 verse 9 says ” Behold the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: before they spring forth I tell you of them”. Heaven has spoken and so shall it be.

On behalf of my sons, my 2 beautiful daughters that My Angel gave me and indeed the entire Doyle, and Henshaw clan of County Wexford, Ireland and Liverpool, UK, as well as Warri and Calabar, Nigeria , we salute and honor this most illustrious daughter of Akure Land, this Moremi of our time, the one and only Anike Ade Oluwaninsola Iretiola Doyle on the occasion of her 15th wedding anniversary.
Your Divine Labour Of Love Will Be Rewarded, Good Measure, Pressed Down and Running Over, In Jesus Name.

In Editor's Choice April 13, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

I NEARLY COMMITTED SUICIDE WHEN MY MARRIAGE CRASHED – LARA KUDAYISI

Lara’s story will inspire you to rise above your challenges no matter what life throws at you.. The pretty relationship counselor and matchmaking mistress heart has been broken 15 times alongside other unforeseen life experiences, most recently is her crashed marriage which inspired her to write her fast selling book “Matchmakers marriage break” ,in a bid to own her truth and use her story to inspire single women to make the right decision before walking down the aisle. “ I am not ashamed to tell the world my story, I still believe in the institution of Marriage, sadly mine didn’t work but many are still working” she says as she shares her journey with me in this interview.

Growing up

Well, I don’t think so. I had a normal childhood like everyone else and there was nothing new or special about it. I just knew that I always wanted to be on TV and talk, I had no idea what I would be talking about. I was such such a happy and talkative child who wanted to explore so many things. I loved to read and talk.

Meet Lara

Lara Kudayisi, the first in a family of four. I had a child at 19, 14 heartbreaks and 15. Abortions before I got married. Another chapter of my life started when that marriage broke while I was busy helping people find love and live Happily Ever After. I am a Relationship Expert and a Therapist That specializes in Healing and Recovery from Emotional Dysfunctions and Trauma. I am also an author of 3 books; 21 QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY TASTE IN MEN and HOW THE MATCHMAKER’S MARRIAGE FAILED.

Inspiration behind “Matchmaking Mistress”

The Matchmaking Mistress was a name I adopted when I decided to go fully into Matchmaking about three years ago. I had been a Relationship Coach prior to that time and I had a club for singles titled THE COMPLETE SINGLES CLUB. It was a club where singles met, networked and had fun. The club members started talking to me about not being able to find love even when the objectives of the group was to bring people together.

I decided to Matchmake some people then and I saw that they were into it and that was what made me make it a niche then so nobody that I knew was providing that service then.

My new book “Matchmakers Marriage failed”

When I had my daughter at age 19, my dad was so furious with me understandably because I was the first child and he was disappointed in me.

My dad out of anger and pain told me back then that I would likely not get married since I was an After One. Those words were very painful especially since I heard them everyday. I decided to prove him wrong and show him that despite my mistakes, I would get married. I must tell you that that was my greatest mistake I made.

I say that because that was the root of my addiction to relationships and marriage. My goal was to get married and prove my Dad wrong (There is a chapter in my book titled; I MARRIED TO PROVE DADDY WRONG). This made me close my eye to every red flag or sign which was why I ended up having 14 heartbreaks and 15 Abortions.This addiction and Dysfunction was what I carried into my marriage and that contributed largely to why it crashed. This story is what I shared in this book.

A lot of women have been broken and damaged from their childhood or even from their past emotional experiences and they are busy carrying it around without knowing. This is why I need them to read this book and understand the implication of their unresolved hurt and pain.

Reception after my marriage broke

Well, the reception has been both good and bad. A lot of people were shocked that someone who helped other people to find love and live Happily Ever After could have a broken home. They are more shocked that I could even have the audacity to be the one to break the news by writing about it. Shock soon turned into anger because they expect me to be in mourning and hiding instead of coming out to talk about it. Some people are genuinely curious and they really want to know what went wrong while some wants to know for the purpose of gossip. Some other people really want to know what happened so that they can learn from it and avoid falling into such situation.

I love all the audience because it’s a win win for me in all cases. No matter your intention, talking about it in a good way or bad way has helped in promoting the book and making people who truly need it to get to know about it and buying it. Finally, I also have a lot of positive responses from people who are in pain and they can relate to what I went through. They are my actual target audience because they are the ones that need my help in helping them to heal and recover from emotional pain.

Other Projects

Ever since I wrote the book, I have launched THE HEALING BOOT CAMP which is the main reason for ever talking about my sordid past and broken marriage. Healing and Recovery is what people who are broken, damaged and dysfunctional need in order to get better. We are having the Boot Camp in Abuja on March 23rd&24th and in Lagos on April 6th&7th.

Reward

Fulfillment and Joy deep in my heart that no form of money can buy. I’ve seen people who were hopeless and helpless found their self confidence and are now full of life and a new will to do exploits in life. I could identify because I was once like them. I nearly committed suicide when my marriage crashed and I thought that my career and life had ended. I thought that was the end of me and nothing more is left but look at me today, totally living a brand new life with a new desire to do great things in this life all because I went through my healing process which gave me a new perspective to life. There can be no other joy than this that anyone can feel. It’s so so surreal.

Next five years and it’s impact on homes

By then, we would have built THE HEALING INSTITUTE where we would have helped hundreds of thousands of people to Heal and also certify Healing Coaches to spread the word all over the world. We would have toured at least 20 countries and plenty cities launching Conferences that would help lots of people Heal and Recover from Emotional Pain and Dysfunction. We would have had a TV and Radio Station where we would churn out programs that contributes to Mental, Emotional Wellness and Happily Ever After.

My work & marriage

My work had positive influences on my Marriage more than the negatives but the baggage that we brought in was what crashed the marriage.

One lesson I took out of my marriage

Always take your intuition or conviction seriously beyond what anyone else tells you no matter the pedigree of that person. God speaks to us all the time through different means that we don’t even recognize. We just need to be sensitive enough to pick the vibe when he’s speaking. It is now a lesson but it was a reality that could have been avoided.

Advice for women enduring unhappy & abusive marriages

If you are in an abusive relationship or marriage please get out of it before you die. Get Therapy even while you are still there because I know it’s going to be a very hard thing to do all by yourself. The decision to leave a marriage or a long time relationship is a VERY difficult one and you need all the help and support you can get to help get you in the right frame of mind to take that drastic action.

Dear Woman….

LIVE FULLY!!!

People would tell you how to live and not how to live. They would want you to be exactly like them. The world want you to fail in the areas they fail and excel only in the areas that they did. Find your own IDENTITY, it may take a while because there’s no manual for it in this life. However, when you find it, please LIVE it to the fullest. Don’t let anyone give you their own template. Your money is in your Identity. Your happiness is in your identity. Your purpose is in your identity, so also is your purpose.

That you are a woman doesn’t mean you are disadvantaged. You are who you say you are.

In self development February 28, 2019 By Editor

“I CAN’T HIDE WHAT GOD HAS DONE FOR ME”… SAYS WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO A SET OF TRIPLET AFTER 14 YEARS OF CHILDLESSNESS

For 14 years, Gospel artist Nancy Masara and her husband, Abel Mokaya were looking for children. But today their home peals of laughter from their one-and-a-half-year-old triplets.

Speaking to People’s Daily this week, Masara beams with joy as she looks at the playful triplets – Patience Mokaya, Esther Kemunto and Samuel Elias– running around the house.

To Masara and her husband, this is nothing short of a miracle.

“I sometimes look at the children and wonder whether they are really mine,” says Masara.

She recalls her struggle with childlessness, how she sought medical help from different hospitals and how at some point she avoided visiting their rural home in Riakuro, Nyamira county as a result of the open stigma and pressure that had begun to mount from relatives after clocking her fifth year in marriage without a child.

“I got married at 22 years and getting a child was never part of my concern. That is until I turned 30. I started visiting hospitals including herbal facilities to look for answers,” she says.

At the height of her desperation to get children, she advised her husband to marry another woman to fulfil his dream of becoming a father and save him the humiliation that comes with being childless. He rejected the offer.

“Deep in my heart, I had started giving up and I expected my husband to be cheating on me because all tests had shown that he was okay.

I had already allowed him although I would cry silently. I was surprised when he told me he was not ready to let me go. He repeatedly assured me he would be by my side forever. He even suggested that we adopt a child if God had not planned a biological child for us,” Masara says.

Years came and went and the couple traversed the country seeking solutions to her problem.

“The number of hospitals I visited in this country in search of a child are more than I can remember,” she says.

Her story changed when she bumped into a gynaecologist and fertility expert at Pandya Memorial Hospital in Mombasa who told her there was a 50-50 chance of becoming a mother.

The doctor then put her on medication and she would go for frequent check-ups to monitor the situation. December 2016 was the turning point of her life.

“I remember it was mid-morning when the doctor broke the most exciting news I have ever had in my life—that I had conceived… I was torn between crying and jumping in joy,” explained the mother of three a midst sobs and tears of joy.

The announcement would mark a new beginning full of hope, a complete departure from the trauma she has known in all her marriage life. But it came with financial strains.

“We would spend up to Sh20,000 per month just for antenatal clinic,” she says adding that her husband who works at a local clearing and forwarding agency was forced to borrow a Sh500,000 loan to enable them settle some of the growing hospital bills.

On July 7, 2017 she delivered triplets through Caesarean section (CS). They were delivered in a space of two minutes apart and were put under special care as they were born prematurely.

“The firstborn weighed 1.1 kilogrammes, the second born was 1.8 kilogrammes and third born was 1.7 kilogrammes,” she says.

The family, however, had to contend with a Sh2 million hospital bill after the children were discharged. But nothing could dampen their joy.

Taking to Facebook today, she shared a newspaper clippings of her interview with People’s Daily.

“In the sight of the lord I can’t hide my joy or what God has done to me, no challenge is permanent when God says yes no man can say no, maybe ure in situation where u feel like giving up, maybe u re asking God questions why he has not answered your prayers,maybe people re calling you names which u can’t understand, u have nowhere to hide your head don’t be tired or never give up the best place to be is at the feet of Jesus, no prayer can be answered in Jesus name, one day, time, sec God will take away your shame and pain in Jesus name. Thanks God for triple joy..”

Credit: LIB

In self development January 11, 2019 By Editor

“I WAS UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY”….VETERAN ACTRESS, NGOZI NWOSU TALKS ABOUT HER FAILED MARRIAGE

Veteran actress, Ngozi Nwosu has blamed Nigerian parents for increase in marriage crash and high divorce rate in the nation.

She advised parents to stop putting pressure on their kids when it comes to getting married to reduce the high rate of divorce in the nation.

According to her, such pressure might end up making the kids choose the wrong partner and then eventually having them split when things don’t work out.

Citing her failed marriage as an example, the 55-year-old beautiful actress in an exclusive interview with Plus TV Africa, said

“No Parent should put pressure on their kids to marry, it is better to be late than to marry early and choose wrong. That was part of what happened to me, I was under pressure to marry and things eventually didn’t turn out right”

The actress who admits being single and searching for the right man further said

“When you rush to do things because you are ageing or because your mates are doing it, it might be your doom so just live your life and wait till it is the right time. I am waiting on God’s time before I get married again, to avoid making another mistake”

Credit: stargist.ng

In lifestyle November 23, 2018 By Editor

NIGERIAN COUPLE WELCOME SET OF TWINS AFTER SPENDING MORE THAN 11M ON IVF TREATMENTS

A Nigerian woman, Omotade Alalade, and her husband have welcomed a set of twins after many failed IVFs. In a post on her Instagram page, Omotade shared her testimony. Read below

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After spending more than N11 million on IVF treatments my husband and I finally complete our family with a set of twins. @tadealalade has TWINSSS ooooo ??. This post would be too long if I start going into details on what I’ve been through trying to conceive. It’s bad enough I more or less had no choice but to conceive through IVF but when you start having multiple miscarriages and having to deal with the fact that my husband and I are AS, it takes my journey to another level.

I found out we were both AS after we got married (I’m still trying to decide if it would have made a difference if I found out before). The amount of tears I cried during my journey can fill an ocean. Majority of the tears came when I lost a set of twins (boy and girl) late in a pregnancy. That was when I truly knew what depression was. Now my lord God finally completes my family with a set of twins. TWINSSSSS ???. Gosh my God is too awesome!!! He can truly move mountains. Absolutely nothing is too big for him. I cry every time I realise how merciful the lord is. I pray every single married woman experiences the kind of joy I’m feeling. Thank you Father ??????????

Credit: LIB

In Career Gems November 20, 2018 By Editor

MEL B REVEALS SHE ATTEMPTED SUICIDE WITH 200 ASPIRIN PILLS TO ESCAPE HER MARRIAGE

According to pop star, Mel B, she once attempted suicide in 2014 to escape her marriage to Stephen Belafonte.

Mel B reveals all this and more in her upcoming memoir titled ‘Brutally Honest’ which she shared excerpts with The Sun.

In the memoir, she writes that the suicide attempt happened as she took nearly 200 aspirin pills on December 11, 2014, while she was in the midst of shooting the live shows for The X Factor in the U.K.

As each pill goes into my mouth, I ask myself: ‘Are you sure?’ And I take another one. Ten, 20, 50, 100. ‘Are you sure?’ One hundred and 20. ‘Are you sure?’ 150. Are you sure?’

Behind the glitter of fame, I felt emotionally battered, estranged from my family. I felt ugly and detested by the very man who once promised to love and protect me, my husband and manager Stephen.

When she got to the 200th pill, however, she stopped saying

I knew I didn’t want to go anywhere. … Suicide was not the answer. I had to make my life count. I had to get to a hospital. I had to get those pills out of my stomach before anything happened.

The Spice Girl and Stephen are now officially divorced.

Credit: Bella Naija

In self development October 31, 2018 By Editor

“WE HAVE NEVER CONSIDERED DIVORCE AS AN OPTION” – WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT

Red Table Talk, a reality TV show by Jada Pinkett on Facebook Watch afforded the couple and their first child together, Williow, to speak on their rumoured plans to end their marriage.

The couple aired all that had gone down in their marriage in the last 10 years when the ‘Bad Boys’ star and his daughter, Willow Smith, appeared on Red Table Talk.

On the rumours about the couple, Will and Jada cleared the air on allegations bothering on their sexuality and religious beliefs.

Shutting down the divorce rumour, Jada said, “We have never considered divorce as an option and that is because it’s wasn’t for us, we had a bigger family aside our nuclear family. I have never seen a divorce lawyer before.“

However, the couple agreed to have gone through a phase that broke their relationship and they had to rebuild.

“It’s not possible to clear all the rumours but to just to have it on record about the historical rumours,” Will Smith began.

“We have never been scientologists. We have never been swingers, that’s a real specific lifestyle.

“Do you know why I never got a divorced?” Will continued.

“It’s cheaper to keep me,” Jada interjects.

“No, but it’s because I’ve never met anyone like you and I knew if I wasn’t with you, I’d be searching in vain for the rest of my life,” Will confessed.

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In 2016, Will Smith revealed that he and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, have had marriage counselling to save their relationship.

The “Suicide Squad” actor revealed he and his wife sorted out their marital problems by attending couples therapy together.

Source: pulse.ng

In lifestyle October 22, 2018 By Editor

HAILEY BALDWIN TRADEMARKS HER NEW NAME ‘HAILEY BEIBER’ AFTER TYING THE KNOT WITH JUSTIN BIEBER

21-year-old Model, Hailey Baldwin who is now married to 24-year-old singer, Justin Bieber, is reported to have trademarked her married name ‘Hailey Beiber’.

In court documents revealed by People, it was confirmed that she trademarked the name “Hailey Bieber” for the purposes of a clothing line, as was her maiden name and “HRB3.”

A source close to Justin also revealed that the wedding was her idea, saying:

Hailey is a very bright girl. She’s not just blindly adoring Justin and doing whatever he wants. She’s wanted to be with Justin for a very long time.

The city hall marriage was her idea. It was ‘You and me against the world.Let’s show [everyone] we’re serious and it’s not just some crazy fling.’

Credit: BN

In Career Gems October 3, 2018 By Editor

SAUDI WOMAN STOPPED FROM MARRYING SUITOR BECAUSE HE PLAYS MUSICAL INSTRUMENT

Saudi Arabia kingdom requires women to seek permission from male “guardians” — their fathers, husbands or other male relatives — to travel, get married and other tasks.

In some parts of the kingdom, a man who plays a musical instrument is considered of inferior status and having a bad reputation.

Two years ago the suitor, a teacher, asked for the hand of the woman, a 38-year-old bank manager from the ultra-conservative region of Qassim, north of the capital Riyadh, Okaz newspaper said.

But her family objected, saying he was not “religiously compatible” with her because he played the oud, the oriental lute which is popular across the Arab world.

The woman, who was not named, took her case to the courts.

A lower court weighed in on the side of the family, saying the marriage could not go through.

» moreThe oud is a stringed instrument also known as the oriental lute which is very popular across the Arab world (AFP)

“Because the suitor plays a musical instrument he is unsuitable for the woman from a religious point of view,” the court said, according to Okaz.

An appeals court ratified the verdict, making it final, the newspaper added.

The woman told Okaz she will seek intervention from the country’s “highest authorities” — a reference to the royal court.

The bank manager, who holds a masters degree and is responsible for more than 300 employees, said she was determined to marry her suitor, describing him as “very pious and with a good reputation”.

Source: pulse.ng

In self development October 2, 2018 By Editor

“MARRIAGE AND MOTHERHOOD HAS TAUGHT ME TO BE EXTREMELY PATIENT” – OMAWUMI

Nigerian singer, Omawumi, in a recent interview, opened up about life as a mother and marriage in general.

She said:

“Marriage and motherhood has taught me to be extremely patient; it has taught me to always understand that everybody has their side to a story. It has also taught me to be very understanding towards everybody.

To an extent, it still boils down to patience; you don’t put too much load on people or have too much expectation of people. Always be ready to receive people with love and forgiveness. I think the best way to explain it is that being a parent has made me understand my relationship with God”.

When asked if both has impacted her music career , she said:

“Yes of course. It has really helped and influenced or rather shaped my music and the way I put music out right now. Of course, one has to be extra careful; because you don’t want to pass the wrong message. Motherhood has been a blessing to my music; it has been a blessing to me. It has been a blessing to everything surrounding me”.