Women of Rubies
Tag

Marriage

Browsing
In Editor's Choice By

SEX CARRIES 60% BLAME IN HIGH RATE OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE- MO DARASAYO

We do know that a healthy sex in marriage is one of the most commonly cited traits among happy couples when asked how they make it work.  These couples have managed to maintain intimacy for years, still enjoying their bond and maintaining the fondness they have for one another.

Sex and marriage go hand in hand. If you can buy this argument, you can most likely understand why is sex so important in a marriage. Intimacy enhances long-term relationships, and this is what Sex Therapist Mo Darasayo advocates for .

Mo Darasayo (MDS is a Sex Enthusiast and Therapist. She helps people overcome problems of bad sex through therapy. An initiative she  started due to her personal experience over 20 months ago and having counsel over 10 couples and many individuals, she decided to take it up as a job and build it up as a notable Brand in the Sex Therapy industry.

She shares her personal journey and joy of seeing marriages work with me in this inspiring interview.

Childhood Influence

I grew up in a polygamous Home. Last Child of 8. Had my primary education in St. Michaels School Ibadan before i moved to Galaxy Schools for Common Entrance Examination, then proceeded to Our Lady of Apostles Mary way Odo ona for my Secondary Education. Then studied Accounting in the Higher Institutions. Not so close to Dad until Mom passed away in 2006. And growing up i don’t hear much about sex. It’s either about religion or Education. I’m either in Church or School. Most novels i read back in school were mostly about Education. No lovey-dovey, if my steps found me reading anything relating to sex or romance, i might be in troubles. So I stayed off. My Childhood didn’t prepare me for what i am doing right now, I’ll say Marriage did.

Inspiration behind my passion for the Sex Industry

Okay, I’ve been looking for a platform to share this personal experience, it’s about time. Sex Therapy Industry is the last place i thought I’ll found myself. I mean, by age and experience I don’t belong here. But here I’m at. After leaving school I had the opportunity to work in the Media, worked under Mrs Funmi Davies Farodoye on her then program “Wazobia plus” at Mitv. We moved to Ltv 8 in Ikeja to start another program, opportunity came again to work with PR Media on Afrima project in 2016. This was my journey plus my Food Business before i started my job as a Therapist in 2018.

I got married in 2015 and before Marriage Hubby and I lived miles apart. Away from the fact that as a religious person, the said distance caused a big issue for us. We got married and then I got to know i do not have the stamina I should have for Sex, by stamina, I meant urge. Pregnancy came and I couldn’t keep up with sex, was in and out of the hospital for almost all the period and when I finally put to bed it was through CS. I could remember vividly Hubby and I didn’t have sex for solid eight months after my first child, because he was scared I gave birth through CS, we didn’t know better. After this whole thing I realised we had both lost it, when he wanted sex, I don’t want, when I’m horny he’s not in the mood. Sooner than expected he got transfer to another state. That was another sour beginning in our sex life. We’d go month(s) without sex and physical touch. Then one day I talked to a friend about my predicament because i was tired. Then i heard worse, lol. She told me even her own husband that live with her is not touching her as expected that it’s marriage thing, we tend to get tired of ourselves because we see often (See finish syndrome). I knew there was more so i started doing my research and reading online. Then i found help and decided to start helping people with their sex life, because sex is not even the way some of us see it. Beyond the physical thrust and touch, sex is psychological. I started like a joke on my favorite social platform (Facebook) and today by God’s grace it’s become something I’m known for, added to the tutelage I received to prepare me for the journey.

How you can differentiate Love and Lust and how to sight a red flag

Love and Lust looks same but not the same and can never be same. And it will take God’s grace to know if a man truly want you with the intentions of marriage or just want to get laid. A man can pretend to be in love with you for months even years, pretending to be there for you and giving you everything they could afford just to get laid with you and after sex would desert you.

 

Testimonials

In almost two years of doing online and off-line Therapy sessions, I’ve had amazing testimonies. From teaching how to have a good and balanced sex life on Facebook, to having one on one session with couples and intending couples, the testimonies has been massive. One that stood out was this Lady with Female mutilation that sent me a mail this year, after few weeks of Online Therapy she’s doing so well in bed with her partner now. In her words “I’m glad i know you Mo, the World needs more people like you”.

 

Sex is Important to Marriage

Sex is very very very important in marriage. To have and live a good married life your sex life must be the bomb. Know what your partners want, varieties of sex styles, suitable times their body want sex. Keep exploring and compromise. When you’re not in the mood for sex, communicate with your partner. Sex is never too much and should not be too much

Sex as a factor of Divorce and Marriage

Sex carries 60% blames in high rate of separation and divorce in this time. I once had a Therapy session with a couple where the Man threatened to cheat on the wife if she doesn’t up her sex games. And when emotional issues like this comes in, problems abound. I tell Couples that their sex lives depends on both parties, like I said earlier, it’s all about what we both want and how we can reach an agreement. If it takes having a sex timetable to achieve your aim as a couple go ahead and whatever issues you feel you need to sort speak about it and seek professional help. Seek Therapy not Kayamata.

Safe Sex Nuggets

I tell people to discuss their sex history with new partner if the relationship would involve having sex to avoid stories that touch the nerves. Communication is key

°Use condom if you’re having sex with multiple partners to avoid STI’s or deadlier diseases.

°Be aware of your body and that of your partner, look for a sign or sores, blister, rash or discharge.

°Say no to drugs before sex, this might increase the chance that you will partake in high-risk sex.

Being a Woman of Rubies

Helping others find fulfilment in what seems difficult and not achievable is what make me a Woman of Rubies. I’m glad i found this path and I’m walking it.

To women who still don’t see sex as an integral part of marriage

My Final word for women who don’t see sex as an integral part of marriage is try as much as you can and give your best in sex aspect in your marriage. Whatever difficult you’re facing in that aspect, discuss with your partner and you both could find a solution to it. Sex can make or mar your marriage, the decision to hold on lies in our hands and between our thighs.

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

THE INSPIRING STORY OF A BRIDE AND HER PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED HUSBAND

A sweet story of love that conquers all social boundaries.

A Beautiful Bride Who Married A Blind Man is Going Viral

 

A beautiful Nigerian woman on Saturday, September 7, walked down the aisle with her visually impaired husband in a wedding ceremony which took place at St. Williams Catholic Church in Lafia, Nasarawa State capital.

It would have been like any other wedding except for the way the social media went crazy about how love happens.

The beautiful bride said to be from Plateau State said, ‘I Do’ to her husband from Kogi state while cheered on by her family, friends, and well-wishers.

A Facebook user, Nora Chika who shared photos from the event, wrote: “WONDERS shall never end, beautiful Plateau bride and her handsome blind groom. I witness the I DO I DO today, no be say na money the bride see, this is indeed true love. May God bless their union I pray,” she wrote in Pidgin English.

It is a known fact across many climes that physically challenged folks are stigmatized and often ostracized due to their conditions. From the workplace, love and relationships, and opportunities, they are part of the oppressed. For a woman to marry a physically impaired man, she must have crossed the social hurdles from friends and associates.

The photos of the newly wedded couple immediately went viral, as it further gives credence to the notion of love is limitless. This sweet story of love can teach today’s youth that love knows no barrier and it never discriminates.

Header Image Credit: Lindaikeji

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

INSPIRING PHOTOS OF A COUPLE WITH DOWN SYNDROME THAT HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER TWO DECADES.

A couple with Down Syndrome have gone viral on the internet after heartwarming photos of them surfaced online.

Gareth and Deana Tobias who are officially the world’s first couple with Down’s syndrome to get married, are still inseparable 27 years later.

Gareth Tobias was just 17 when he met 19-year-old Deana and they both eventually tied the knot in front of 40 friends and family on July 4, 1992.

Gareth in an interview with Metro uk said:

‘Before I met Deana I had three girlfriends. ‘I chose the right one, and that’s Deana.’

‘I put up with Deana and she puts up with me.’

Deana, 57, talking about the relationship said: ‘I thought “he’s ginger”. I like gingers. He had a beard at the time as well. A red one.’

‘I’m ginger as well.’

See more photos below ;

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

HUSBAND DEMANDS DIVORCE IN LETTER TO WIFE, HER BRILLIANT REPLY MAKES HIM REGRET EVERY WORD

In a world that can in turn seem grim, serious or boring, a funny anecdote is always welcome. I don’t know if you’ve read this before, but if not it should give you a chuckle. And if you have, I’m sure it’ll make you laugh again. It has all the ingredients of an entertaining story — drama, retaliation and an unexpected ending… It starts with a letter from a husband asking his wife for a divorce.

But it’s his wife’s brilliant reply that gets all the laughs. . Share it if it also gives you a good chuckle!

I

Dear wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been Tophet.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want relationship or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re escape on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever! the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together!
Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As worship & Free!

This Story Was Originally Published On newsner.com

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

GINA SMITH:10 LIES SATAN WILL USE TO ATTACK A STRONG MARRIAGE

Spiritual warfare is the tactic Satan uses to distract, destroy, and cause us to stumble. If we are children of God, he knows he can’t have us. But he will do whatever he can to hinder what God wants to do in and through us. Why? Because he hates God and he hates us.

Not only does he hate Christians, he especially hates the marriage between two believers. He’ll use every weapon he has to attack strong marriage and delight when they crumble.

Why does Satan hate Christian marriage?

Christian marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. It is a platform for the gospel. “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church,” Paul writes in Ephesians, about marriage. The enemy knows that if he can destroy our marriage or put it in a state of constant conflict and confusion, he will hinder the kingdom-building work God wants to do in and through us.

In marriage, most of the battle takes place in our heart and mind. The enemy knows the subtle lies he whispers in our ear can quickly do a lot of damage.

Here are 10 lies that the enemy whispers in our ears in his attempt to tear down a strong Christian marriage:

Lie #1: Your Spouse Is Meant to Satisfy Your Deepest Longings

“Your needs aren’t being met. They are being ignored. You deserve better than this. Your spouse is not making you happy or putting you first.”

Truth: The only one that can truly satisfy and make me happy is God. No person has the ability to meet all my needs or satisfy my deepest longing.

Lie # 2: If You Don’t Have the Energy to Invest in Your Relationship, That’s Okay

“You are so tired. You don’t have the energy to invest in the relationship with your spouse like you used to. Besides, you are married! You don’t need to do that anymore. They don’t appreciate it anyway and they don’t do much for you either.”

Truth: My spouse is a gift and I need to make it a priority to invest in the relationship. God can give me the strength I need, even when I am tired, to nurture our marriage relationship.

Lie #3: You Can Still Grow in Your Marriage without Intentionally Trying

“I know you haven’t had much time to talk with your spouse lately, but your brain needs a break! You are mentally exhausted. Take some time and scroll through Facebook for a little bit. Oh! Wait! And you need to catch up on your favorite show! Hello Netflix!”

Truth: We never know how much time we have, and we need to make the most of the time we are given. The Bible tells me to “redeem the time” and to live a disciplined life. I need to be careful I don’t waste time.

Lie #4: Date Night Isn’t Something You and Your Spouse Need to Prioritize

“You are so busy! You have to get the kids to school, and then you have all this work to do. And you probably should be more involved at church. Date night can wait.

Truth: It is important that I take time, on a regular basis, to evaluate and prioritize. My marriage is most important, and I need to make time for it, even if it means I can’t be committed to a few other things.

Lie #5: Marriage Is about Making Each Other Happy

“You deserve to be happy and you could really use some romance in your life. You need someone who will meet that need! You should really think about leaving if things don’t get better soon.”

Truth: Marriage is not about my happiness. It is a picture of Christ and the relationship to His church. It is meant to point others to Him. Yes. Romance is nice, and is a part of marriage, but I need to be committed to my spouse and to the covenant I made.

Lie #6: You’re Owed Something Out of Marriage

“You have the right to do what you want to do. You work hard and you are owed something. You work all day, and you deserve to rest. You deserve to be appreciated! You deserve a break from the kids.”

Truth: My life is not my own. I am called to serve my family and have a calling on my life to faithfully obey God regardless of how I feel.

Lie #7: A Budget Is Restrictive and Your Money Is Yours to Spend as You Want

“Don’t worry about budgeting. Why even try? Plus, you need a bigger house and your kids need a bigger yard. You need to be in a nicer neighborhood. You can get a part time job to finance it if you need to.”

Truth:I need to learn how to be a good steward of all that God has given me. I don’t need all that the culture says I need. It’s more important that I use my funds wisely and responsibly, and that I be generous with what I’ve been given.

Lie #8: That Person’s Husband/Wife Has Something Mine Doesn’t

“Don’t you wish that your spouse was more like your friend’s spouse? I bet he doesn’t play video games all evening or work late. If your spouse had a job like his, you’d be able to do so much more!”

Truth:Comparisons are not wise. I need to continue to pray for God to work in my heart and in the heart of my spouse and pray that we would learn how to best serve and encourage each other, being content with what we have been given.

Lie #9: Your Spouse Is the One at Fault, Not You

“You are not at fault! He doesn’t realize how he comes across or that the way that he talks to you causes you to respond that way. He is the one that needs to change, not you!”

Truth:I am responsible for how I respond, no matter what my spouse does or says, and I will be held accountable for my actions.

Lie #10: You’ll Never Change (And You Don’t Need To)

“You can’t help it that you act this way. It’s the way your parents were. You learned it from them. You will never change.”

Truth: No matter what my parents did or how I grew up, I do not have to choose to repeat any negative behavior. With the help of God, I can do what is right and honor God with my words, and actions.

No matter how strong our marriages may seem, none of us are immune from these lies and, in a moment of weakness, we can fall prey to believing any and all of them.

We need to remember that our love for God should be what shapes and motivates all that we do and say in our marriage. Our posture should be one of servants, not demanding, entitled rulers. When God is elevated, when he sits at the center of your thoughts and life, you will be aware of the fact that only he can meet your deepest longings and needs. Your marriage, although it can be a blessing here in this life, does not exist entirely for our happiness alone, but for God’s purposes.

What lies have you let slip into your marriage recently? What can you and your spouse do this week to reconnect and remember what is true about marriage?

Gina Smith and her husband have served on a Christian college campus as the on-campus parents for over 20 years. They have lived on the campus where they homeschooled and raised both of their children. In her spare time she loves to write and recently authored her first book, “Grace Gifts: Practical Ways To Help Your Children Understand God’s Grace.” She also writes at her personal blog: ginalsmith.com.

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

DO THESE 4 THINGS WITH YOUR MAN BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO MARRY HIM

A successful transition into marriage requires a good amount of work before the wedding day.

Getting married to your man is an exciting event to look forward to, but before you say your “I dos,” you need to do four things to ensure your relationship will last.

  1. Travel together

Going on a road trip will put you and your future husband in close quarters with each other for a long time. You will start to recognize different aspects of your relationship when you are stuck with him. Little annoyances, like singing loudly and off key to every song that comes on a radio is tolerable for the first 20 minutes, but after three hours in? Maybe not so much. You might discover that traveling with your man makes you or him more irritable with one another or more tolerable.

Being able to communicate during stressful conditions like getting lost or losing hotel reservations will help you solve problems together in the future when money is tight or your children have broken something expensive. If you can get through a long road trip together and look back on it with fond memories, consider it a green light for your marriage.

2. Discuss expectations

You most-likely have an expectation of how your marriage is going to operate. Perhaps you expect him to split the household chores evenly and for both of you to work full-time when you have children. On the other hand, he might expect you to stay home when you have children and do all of the household chores since you are a stay-at-home mom.

Before you get married, tell each other about your expectations for necessities like money, children, jobs and household duties. Most importantly, discusses your expectations for each other. You need to know what he expects of himself and of you. He needs to know what you expect of yourself and of him. Then compromise with one another.

3. Spend time apart

You love each other and therefore, you want to spend every moment together, but now is actually the time to spend time apart. Someone once said distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is true, but distance also make a relationship healthier. Men and women need companionship in friends and family. As much as your future husband loves you, he might not understand your need to talk for hours about everything under the moon, but your best girlfriend totally understands that need. Don’t be afraid to have a girl’s night without him.

If you don’t trust your man when he is away, you must learn to do so. Make expectations clear when it comes to talking to people of the opposite gender. Something to him may seem like a innocent action, but it could look like cheating in your eyes and vice versa.

4. Disagree with each other

If you always agree with your future husband, take a step back and think about your relationship. Disagreements, arguments and different opinions are important in a healthy relationship. Sometime down the road you are going to disagree about a course of action, so before you get married, it is vital that you learn to compromise.

5. Discuss expectations

You most-likely have an expectation of how your marriage is going to operate. Perhaps you expect him to split the household chores evenly and for both of you to work full-time when you have children. On the other hand, he might expect you to stay home when you have children and do all of the household chores since you are a stay-at-home mom.

Before you get married, tell each other about your expectations for necessities like money, children, jobs and household duties. Most importantly, discusses your expectations for each other. You need to know what he expects of himself and of you. He needs to know what you expect of yourself and of him. Then compromise with one another.

These four things will shed light on all aspects of your relationship. Understanding every side of your future husband will help your transition smoothly into your married life.

by
Keep Reading
In Career Gems By

WIFE APPLIES FOR DIVORCE BECAUSE HUSBAND SHOWS TOO MUCH LOVE

In what seems to be an odd play out of marriage, a woman in the United Arab Emirates has asked the court to dissolve her marriage because her husband shows her ‘too much love’, helps with the housework and showers her with gifts.

According to reports, the UAE woman told a Sharia court in Fujairah that her ‘endearing’ husband has never argued or yelled at her and was always kind.

When she complained about his weight, the man embarked on a strict weight loss regime of dieting and exercise which left him with a broken leg.

But this did not please the angry wife who still complained of his many gifts and compliments, according to local media.

According to her:

“I am eagerly longing for a single day of dispute, but this seems impossible with my romantic husband who always forgave me and showered me with daily gifts.

‘I need a real discussion, even an argument, not this hassle-free life full of obedience.”

The husband begged the court to deny the divorce request.

He told the court:

“It’s not fair to judge a marriage from the first year, and everybody learns from their mistakes. I am and always wish to be a perfect and kind husband.”

However, the court has adjourned the case to give the couple a chance to settle the dispute themselves.

Meanwhile, back home in Nigeria, celebrity media personality Toke Makinwa has implored women to cause drama and “f**k sh*t up” so as to spice their relationship.

This new take on relationships makes us ask that old question, “What do women really want?”

by
Keep Reading
In self development By

5 IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO”

Avoid a rocky marriage, trash out important matters before you walk down the aisle.

You don’t necessarily have to wait until marriage to begin to deal with certain marital issues

Since it is often said that prevention is better than cure, it becomes absolutely necessary for courting, engaged, or other couples in serious committed relationships to discuss the following things…

Work stress

This is one aspect of pre-marriage conversations that many people hardly bother with.

Except you both expect to starve and/or beg, then, at least one of you has to go to work.

Upon return from a long stressful day, different people have different ways of resting or chilling.

You and your partner should discuss this before marriage, so as to avoid cases where you are usually feeling chatty after work, and she just wants to left alone for at least 2 hours after her return.

This kind of conversation will help you both know how make suitable adjustments, or at least, know what to expect after you finally say “I do.”

In-laws

The matter of bad in-laws is quite terrible that I hear some ladies now pray to marry a man whose mother is long dead before they even meet him.

Let’s even forget how absurd and terrible that kind of wish is; the truth still remains that not all mothers or fathers-in-law will be dead by the time you meet your partner, so it’s best you prepare to relate with them because they will be present in your married life whether you like it or not.

Clashes often arises when couples feel divided or threatened by by in-laws. So discuss well what your spouse’s relationship with his/her parents is like, so as to judge if they are still tied to mommy’s apron, or mentally mature enough to stand up and resist unnecessary interference from daddy. You really need to discuss this properly, really.

Money

This one does not really need much explanation as it is well-discussed matter already. All that’s left to do here is to remind you to ensure that you ask the right questions.

Don’t just ask him how much he earns, or how much of her salary she saves. Ask of their relationship with money, which is basically asking them to give you a recap of their financial history.

You should also not shy away from asking them about their financial strengths and weaknesses [Yeah, some people can spend their last kobo on clothes, and shoes… and for some, it’s just sports betting… smh.]

Please ask them to tell you about their financial dreams and goals, too.

Sex

We understand that they told us in church to shun pre-marital sex. [Amen]

However, I don’t think anyone will ban you from you from pre-marital sex-talk.

Yes, pre-marital sex-talk. Please talk about it. The fact that you are contemplating marriage with someone essentially means you are sexually attracted to that person, and that y’all are planning to do the do soon.

So there’s no sense in being too shy to ask him how often he thinks you should be having sex in a week, ask her into which hole she prefers to have it [clears throat], also ask about that body count.

Yes! The body count actually counts, too, and try to be as open and honest with your answers as possible.

Babies and contraceptive techniques

How many babies do you ideally want? What is the spacing between births going to be like? What techniques of contraception do you think we should use. These questions are equally as important. Please ask them.

Source: Pulse Ng

by
Keep Reading
In Editor's Choice By

Favour Osiri Wisdom: Discover Yourself Before You Say Yes To A Marriage Proposal

Favour Osiri Wisdom is an encourager, a certified marriage and relationship mentor with The Institute of Marriage and Family Affairs USA. A certified negotiation and conflict analysis expert with (USIP). United States Institute for Peace. She is the coordinator of the foremost marriage academy in the south south region of Nigeria; The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy in the city of Port Harcourt which equips both married and intending marriage couples to acquire skills to build the marriage of their dreams.

Favour is passionate about women and girls. Having suffered so much under intense poverty growing up as the first child amongst seven children. She founded the Model Woman Foundation in 2016 where she mentors weekly organizing online seminars. She and her Pastor husband are presenters of a weekly relationship show called “For better for us” on Facebook . She recently authored two books tilted How Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T and Before You Marry.

Favour believes her background cannot keep her back on the ground and she is determined to help restore more homes. She shares her story in this inspiring and educative interview.

Childhood
My childhood is full of interesting events that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I didn’t have luxury growing up so being the first child amongst 7 children; my mind was constantly processing on what next to do to make money.

I learnt how to braid hair at age 10 and every Christmas season I made money from braiding hair I wanted to go to school at all cost because at that time I was going to be the first graduate in my compound ( both in my maternal and paternal home) .The poverty around me was just too much, I sold oranges during its season, I was involved in the “bole” business (roasted fish and plantain) which I inherited from my mother.

I ran a bukka joint in a mechanic garage at age 19. In 1998 I went to NYSC orientation camp in the city where I lived at that time to do food business.

When I saw the corp members come to buy food from my stand, I remember weeping one day because I wanted to be like them. I thank God I later saved up money from my mechanic garage food business to buy forms into the Polytechnic and went on to become the first graduate in my family (maternal and paternal) with many other degrees. All of these experiences are instrumental to what I do now which is to encourage and stir women around me to rise up

Inspiration behind The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy and The Model woman foundation
The wisdom driven marriage academy kicked off in 2016 and has brought illumination to a lot of singles and married couples. The testimonies are amazing.

The Modelwoman foundation is my gift to womanhood. It was founded in 2016. I am an encourager so I never fail to shamelessly use myself as an example of a woman who dare to excel against all odds I could speak to someone for hours with the intent to make sure they move to another level.

I was doing this with women around me and I saw them began to soar and felt I could reach more women globally using technology so in 2016, we started on whatsapp with few women and today we are grateful. We now hold an online conference tagged “The Complete woman Conference and a live conference tagged “Ignite”

My books; how Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T & Before You Marry

How not to marry an I.D.I.O.T came as a result of my personal experience of manifesting these traits in the past and my interaction with intending couples and married couples alike. I have seen people marry with all the red flags telling them not to and the marriage breaks after few months. Some people also think marriage does not require skills but it does seriously.

Infact it is the most skilled intensive venture I know because you are dealing with the emotions and destiny of people. I.D.I.O.T is an acronym for traits which are red flags telling you not to continue with the relationship. People with Idiotic attitude are not ready to learn, they want to do marriage the way they like.

A lot of marriages are going through pain because of these Idiotic attitudes. The beautiful thing about the book is that it proffers solution on how to overcome these traits as a single or married person and gives you a step by step approach to end a forever idiotic relationship.

Before You Marry is a compilation of 50 things (There might be more) to consider before you marry. The book is to help intending couples with some of the relevant questions and discussions they need to have before they walk the aisle we live in the age where people see marriage as the next thing to check on their list without asking relevant questions. Questions reveal a lot of things.

Impact of Model Woman
The modelwoman foundation has been a blessing to a lot of women. Most of these women I have never met because 90% of our engagement is online.

The vision of the foundation is to build excellent legacies so we deployed the strategy of pray and learn. Weekly we pray and organize seminar sessions addressing different issues. We have testimonies of over 60 women who have started new businesses in the group, women who had no idea on what business to start when they joined us, we have marriages restored through the seminars in the group, we have women discovering their purpose and pursuing them.

We have women who have been spiritually revived, the sessions on parenting was life transforming for the women. we have single mums, divorcees in our midst whose self esteem has been restored and are doing so well. We have ladies who were so deep into being side chic to married men end the relationships and turned a new leaf, we have married women involved in illicit relationships end the relationships and became purpose driven.

Challenges
I work with women mostly, the challenge has been the limiting mindset where some of them believe they can’t get to certain heights because of their gender.

Another challenge is some people think getting married is the next thing to be checked on their list without adequately preparing for marriage. They prepare for wedding and not marriage. Just like flying a plane requires skills, marriage, even relationship in the work place requires skills else the marriaage will crash like a plane manned by an ignorant person.

Some couples are excited and working hard ontheir marriage, it is not that they have not had issues, they were only equipped with tools to handle even challenging seasons in their marriage.

Other Projects
I have a passion for women, I also want them to pass the same passion to their daughters so we have the Mum and Daughter Ball (MDB) which is aimed at creating that intentional bonding relationship.

The maiden edition will hold this year. I also have a project for single mums and single dads which will come up before the end of this year. The big one is the Wisdom driven marriage retreat and resorts. A place for couples to unwind and bond.

Reward
The testimonies of changed lives. One incident is a single lady who has been in a relationship with a married man for many years and depended on him for financial assistance. She told me she had always wanted to end the relationship but couldn’t because of the financial assistance she was getting.

Through the sessions on the modelwoman platform, she was able to break free and has an amazing life today working and making a living. So my greatest rewards are women who have found themselves and are unapologetically living their best lives.

On the cause of broken marriages lately
Ignorance is a big issue. I am a firm believer that whatever you are not skilled in, you will kill and if you keep doing it for a long time, it can kill you.. People go to different schools to acquire knowledge in different fields and that’s why they do well. Communication skills, negotiations skills, parenting skills, financial skills and many other skills to build a solid marriage.. These skills are supposed to be acquired pre and post wedding.

Most pre-marital counseling curriculum are not updated to even handle today’s peculiar challenges. When these skills are lacking, marital frustrations begins to set it.. Many people want it fast and are not ready to be patient. Another example is when you do not recognize that the spouse you married 20 years ago has changed and you also need to change.( change here means growth)

To women who are about to get married

Discover yourself before you say yes to a marriage proposal. Your purpose in life will guide your choice. Be economically empowered.

Go into marriage as an asset not a liability. Be equipped with the skills and ensure your would be husband does same. Do not give in to pressure to marry anyone just because everyone around you is getting married. You will stand alone when the heat comes as those who pressured you will be no where to be found.

Give the relationship time. Ask questions. Because I am a Christian and believe that God ordained marriage, I will encourage that women talk to God about their proposed spouse or marriage. Also don’t be carried away by emotions, ensure both of you are agreeable.

My Inspiration
My husband is my number one inspiration and cheer leader. The way he handles pressures and responds when there is a challenge is inspiring.

My 3 wise children constantly push me to study because of the enormous potential they carry. Every day I want to become a better parent who will continually unleash their potential for them to impact their world.

Being a woman of Rubies
Wow! I decided long ago I was going to make a positive mark on every woman I meet. So intentionally mentoring them and ensuring they follow the process to make progress is what I think makes me a woman of rubies.

When we as women collaborate and not compete we will achieve so much because value is in people not places.

God has trapped what we need in relationships. Having the skills to find and nurture these relationships as women will make life so easy. So I must commend Women of Rubies for what they are doing by celebrating women. That’s the spirit!

Final words of advice for women all over the world
Lookout for other women in your community, office, neighborhood. Collaborate, don’t compete. Aspire to the highest level God has designed for you. Don’t think because you are a woman you are inferior; you are the express image of God. Learn from other women. Celebrate a sister whose time of shinning has come and you will attract same.

 

by
Keep Reading
In Editor's Choice By

DISCOVER YOURSELF BEFORE YOU SAY YES TO A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL – FAVOUR OSIRI WISDOM

Favour Osiri Wisdom is an encourager, a certified marriage and relationship mentor with The Institute of Marriage and Family Affairs USA. A certified negotiation and conflict analysis expert with (USIP). United States Institute for Peace. She is the coordinator of the foremost marriage academy in the south south region of Nigeria;The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy in the city of Port Harcourt which equips both married and intending marriage couples to acquire skills to build the marriage of their dreams.

Favour is passionate about women and girls. Having suffered so much under intense poverty growing up as the first child amongst seven children. She founded the Model Woman Foundation in 2016 where she mentors weekly organizing online seminars. She and her Pastor husband are presenters of a weekly relationship show called “For better for us” on Facebook . She recently authored two books tilted How Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T and Before You Marry.

Favour believes her background cannot keep her back on the ground and she is determined to help restore more homes. She shares her story in this inspiring and educative interview.

Childhood

My childhood is full of interesting events that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I didn’t have luxury growing up so being the first child amongst 7 children; my mind was constantly processing on what next to do to make money.  I learnt how to braid hair at age 10 and every Christmas season I made money from braiding hair   I wanted to go to school at all cost because at that time I was going to be the first graduate in my compound ( both in my maternal and paternal home) .The poverty around me was just too much, I sold oranges during its season, I was involved in the “bole” business (roasted fish and plantain) which I inherited from my mother. I ran a bukka joint in a mechanic garage at age 19. In 1998 I went to NYSC orientation camp in the city where I lived at that time to do food business. When I saw the corp members come to buy food from my stand, I remember weeping one day because I wanted to be like them. I thank God I later saved up money from my mechanic garage food business to buy forms into the Polytechnic and went on to become the first graduate in my family (maternal and paternal) with many other degrees.  All of these experiences are instrumental to what I do now which is to encourage and stir women around me to rise up

Inspiration behind The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy and The Model woman foundation 

We relocated to Portharcourt in 2013 to start a church ministry and much later started a weekly show on radio called “Family Matters” Nigeria Info PH 92.3 every Monday 2pm to 3pm

The vision for the radio show was to help marriages and those intending to marry with the wisdom that has helped us because at a point in our marriage, we went through turbulent times. We thought the devil had relocated to our home but as we researched more we found out it wasn’t the devil; it was deep ignorance of the skills to do marriage that we lacked. So as we shared these tips on radio, the counseling issues in our office weekly increased. We went into more research, got professional training then we decided to set up the marriage academy to proactively address marital issues. This is because there are issues that 30 mins counseling cannot handle, it will require an entire program to unlearn, learn, re-learn. The wisdom driven marriage academy kicked off in 2016 and has brought illumination to a lot of singles and married couples. The testimonies are amazing.

The Modelwoman foundation is my gift to womanhood. It was founded in 2016. I am an encourager so I never fail to shamelessly use myself as an example of a woman who dare to excel against all odds I could speak to someone for hours with the intent to make sure they move to another level. I was doing this with women around me and I saw them began to soar and felt I could reach more women globally using technology so in 2016, we started on whatsapp with few women and today we are grateful. We now hold an online conference tagged “The Complete woman Conference and a live conference tagged “Ignite”

My books; how Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T & Before You Marry

How not to marry an I.D.I.O.T came as a result of my personal experience of manifesting these traits in the past and my interaction with intending couples and married couples alike. I have seen people marry with all the red flags telling them not to and the marriage breaks after few months. Some people also think marriage does not require skills but it does seriously. In fact it is the most skilled intensive venture I know because you are dealing with the emotions and destiny of people. I.D.I.O.T is an acronym for traits which are red flags telling you not to continue with the relationship. People with Idiotic attitude are not ready to learn, they want to do marriage the way they like. A lot of marriages are going through pain because of these Idiotic attitudes. The beautiful thing about the book is that it proffers solution on how to overcome these traits as a single or married person and gives you a step by step approach to end a forever idiotic relationship.

Before You Marry is a compilation of 50 things (There might be more) to consider before you marry. The book is to help intending couples with some of the relevant questions and discussions they need to have before they walk the aisle we live in the age where people see marriage as the next thing to check on their list without asking relevant questions. Questions reveal a lot of things. An example is having a discussion on the possibility of adoption where there is delay in child bearing. These questions and discussions brings clarity in the marriage.

Impact of Model Woman

 The modelwoman foundation has been a blessing to a lot of women. Most of these women I have never met because 90% of our engagement is online. The vision of the foundation is to build excellent legacies so we deployed the strategy of pray and learn. Weekly we pray and organize seminar sessions addressing different issues. We have testimonies of over 60 women who have started new businesses in the group, women who had no idea on what business to start when they joined us, we have marriages restored through the seminars in the group, we have women discovering their purpose and pursuing them. We have women who have been spiritually revived, the sessions on parenting was life transforming for the women. we have single mums, divorcees in our midst whose self esteem has been restored and are doing so well. We have ladies who were so deep into being side chic to married men end the relationships and turned a new leaf, we have married women involved in illicit relationships end the relationships and became purpose driven. We also have weekly diverse testimonies of changed lives in the the foundation. We have a project called ‘Value driven Life Project for secondary schools. The project is to impact the students with soft skills to make informed decisions about their lives and to make them aware they are valuable.  Recently we had an amazing outing on Valentine’s Day titled SEX IS NOT LOVE. We had students who planned to break their virginity as a mark of love come to us willingly seeking for help which we have followed up..

The wsidom driven marriage has impacted a lot of singles and married couples. The “Save Your marriage program” which is an intensive 8weeks program for deeply troubled marriages have revived and saved marriages on the verge of divorce.  We have seen singles quit relationships because they suddenlyfound out that even though the relationship looks good to them, it may not be good to them.

Challenges

I work with women mostly, the challenge has been the limiting mindset where some of them believe they cant get to certain heights because of their gender. Another challenge is some people think getting married is the next thing to be checked on their list without adequately preparing for marriage. They prepare for wedding and not  marriage. Just like flying a plaane requires skills, marriage, even relationship in the work place requires skills else the marriaage will crash like a plane manned by an ignorant person. Some couples are excited and working hard ontheir marriage, it is not that they have not had issues, they were only equipped with tools to handle even challenging seasons in their marriage.  

Other project and activities

Because I have a passion for women, I also want them to pass the same passion to their daughters so we have the Mum and Daughter Ball (MDB) which is aimed at creating that intentional bonding relationship. The maiden edition will hold this year. I also have a project for single mums and single dads which will come up before the end of this year. The big one is the Wisdom driven marriage retreat and resorts. A place for couples to unwind and bond.

Reward

The testimonies of changed lives. One incident is a single lady who has been in a relationship with a married man for many years and depended on him for financial assistance. She told me she had always wanted to end the relationship but couldn’t because of the financial assistance she was getting. Through the sessions on the modelwoman platform, she was able to break free and has an amazing life today working and making a living. So my greatest rewards are women who have found themselves and are unapologetically living their best lives.

On the cause of broken marriages lately

Ignorance is a big issue. I am a firm believer that whatever you are not skilled in, you will kill and if you keep doing it for a long time, it can kill you.. People go to different schools to acquire knowledge in different fields and that’s why they do well. Some even specialize. For example I cannot fly a plane no matter how passionate I am because I do not have the skills. Also marriage requires skills. Communication skills, negotiations skills, parenting skills, financial skills and many other skills to build a solid marriage.. These skills are supposed to be acquired pre and post wedding. Most pre-marital counseling curriculum are not updated to even handle today’s peculiar challenges. When these skills are lacking, marital frustrations begins to set it. Another reason for broken marriages is that the impatience level today is very short especially with technology where everything is fast. Many people want it fast and are not ready to be patient.. Another example is when you do not recognize that the spouse you married 20 years ago has changed and you also need to change.( change here means growth)

To women who are about to get married

Ans: Discover yourself before you say yes to a marriage proposal. Your purpose in life will guide your choice. Be economically empowered. Go  into marriage as an asset not a liability. Be equipped with the skills and ensure your would be husband does same. Do not give in to pressure to marry anyone just because everyone around you is getting married. You will stand alone when the heat comes as those who pressured you will be no where to be found.  Give the relationship time. Ask questions. Because I am a Christian and believe that God ordained marriage, I will encourage that women talk to God about their proposed spouse or marriage. Also don’t be carried away by emotions, ensure both of you are agreeable.

My Inspiration

My husband is my number one inspiration and cheer leader. The way he handles pressures and responds when there is a challenge is inspiring. My 3 wise children constantly push me to study because of the enormous potential they carry. Every day I want to become a better parent who will continually unleash their potential for them to impact their world.

Being a woman of Rubies

  Wow! I decided long ago I was going to make a positive mark on every woman I meet. So intentionally mentoring them and ensuring they follow the process to make progress is what I think makes me a woman of rubies. When we as women collaborate and not compete we will achieve so much because value is in people not places. God has trapped what we need in relationships. Having the skills to find and nurture these relationships as women will make life so easy. So I must commend Women of Rubies for what they are doing by celebrating women. That’s the spirit!

Final words of advice for women all over the world

Lookout for other women in your community, office, neighborhood. Collaborate, don’t compete. Aspire to the highest level God has designed for you. Don’t think because you are a woman you are inferior; you are the express image of God. Learn from other women. Celebrate a sister whose time of shinning has come and you will attract same

by
Keep Reading