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I WOULD LOVE TO BE MARRIED AGAIN – OMOTUNDE DAVID “LOLO”

Every viewer of the popular drama series, ‘Jenifa’s Diary’ knows her as Adaku. But she is a trained lawyer, who veered into broadcast media and now an On Air Personality whose name is Omotunde Adebowale David. Also called aka Lolo 1, she opens up on her status as a single mother in this interview.

On What Excite her 

I love it when I see my dreams coming to pass. It could be so exciting when things take shape; it is such a sweet feeling.

Handling Trolls online

I tell people ‘don’t look at online people, they are children; just ignore them.’  What I just do is look and move on. If it bothers me so much I delete you and block you because the more you answer the more you are misunderstood. The truth is that some people out there are just crying out for attention. You don’t need to focus on them.

Coping as a single mum of one

I am not divorced yet I am still in the process. We are in court already and it will be done in a few months. Being a single mom is one of the most challenging things I have ever faced and I am writing a book because a lot of people demonize single moms. There is no rule book that tells you this is how you should go about it, you learn as you grow older. You face a lot of challenges. What I do is focus on the important which is the up-bringing of my children. In my case, my kids’ father and I talk; we have a good relationship. But the only thing is that we don’t live in the same house and the kids relate well with both parents.

Giving Marriage a second shot

I would love to be married again. I won’t tell you if I am waiting for it to come. I am just asking God to help me get through this. However, if I meet someone I consider good enough, that would understand me; of course, I will be willing to try again because marriage is a great institution.

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BEYONCE CHANNELS YORUBA GODDESS OSHUN

Many of the you don’t know so let’s give you some education while you all scream Slay, Queen at Beyoncé‘s 2017 Grammy Awards performance.

The pop star who is pregnant with twins, debuted her baby bump yesterday night at the Grammy’s  for the first time since announcing she’s pregnant with twins a couple of weeks ago. For her performance which also featured her 5 year old daughter Blue Ivy Carter and mother – Tina Knowles, Bey embraced and showed off her pregnant belly in a gold bikini and gold sequin gown which she topped off with a gold medusa crown.
But what many don’t know is that Bey drew inspiration from Nigeria for her performance, specifically the Yoruba culture.
For her much talked about Grammy award performance Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter channeled Oshun, the Yoruba goddess of love, fertility and healing.
This isn’t the first time the Grammy Award-winning artist has paid homage to Oshun and Yoruba culture. She did the same in her much talked about maternity shoot, announcing her twin pregnancy and last year in the video for “Hold Up” off her visual album Lemonade.

Source: Kemifilani.com

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KIKI MORDI’S “END POLICE EXTORTION NOW”  PETITION GETS 1,000 SIGNATURES 

Nkiru Mordi is a Port Harcourt born On-Air personality that goes by the alias Kiki Mordi. She created a petition online against police extortion after some policemen barged into her home accusing her and her boyfriend of being cultists.

According to her, the policemen searched her home and when they found no evidence of them being cultists, they were taken to their station and demanded N200, 000 to kill the case.

The petition titled ‘End Police Extortion Now’ has a goal of gathering 1,000 signatures.

She tweeted,

If you no one hears from me tonight, ask State CID zone 5 for where I am… Goes without saying, I have a great extortion story to tell

Our only offence? Being young and having a car. Nothing else.

They’ve carried their robbery from highways to actually busting into your house. Police

I had a really wild day today with the police I just realized being a Nigerian isn’t safe. You are only safe because it’s not yet your turn!

I’ve had altercations with police before at the high way, they try to frustrate you into giving them “small thing” I never judge them…

Because a policeman, my friend, confided in me that they don’t get enough funding & it’s the “small thing” they use to fuel cars to operate.

But my experience with the police today was very wild! I’m still pretty shaken up but thank God I’m home. Safely.

You guys won’t believe that policemen barged into MY HOUSE today. This was not a highway issue, MY FUCKING HOUSE. WOW!

I was upstairs prepping for work when I heard the doorbell… My boyfriend got the door and was met with a dirty slap.

They barged into the house and started yelling. I only saw one at first, plain clothed. Asked me “IS THIS YOUR BOYFRIEND”? He was yelling

I was mad scared, I thought we were being robbed! So I was quiet. He asked a couple more times and I look a boyfriend, confused as hell

He started accusing us of being cultists? Hian. That was when other police men came with Police T shirt came, I then realised they were cops

“Oga stop shouting tell me what’s going on I’m sure I can help you” He tells us they had a tip off that we were cultists. Again.

I assured him we weren’t cultists perhaps he has the wrong address? He starts asking about the cars parked downstairs. Asked for our names..

I thought you had a “tip off” I told him I was a journalist He went downstairs, scribbled my boyfriend’s misspelled name on a “warrant”

I didn’t say anything. He searched through the house, saw some condoms in my wardrobe and said “Name original oh, this one nor be cheap”

I didn’t smile back. He searched some more for this imaginary gun. He didn’t find. Next thing he wants our laptops, I’m not surprised.

He’s seized some phones already o. I had 3 in my possession so I’m guarding them safely. Bros what exactly did we do? You’re harassing us..

He said he was taking boyfriend to police station for further investigation. At this point I’m VERY scared. I’ve called heaven and earth

So I went to take a picture and they launch at me. Tried to drag my phone with me. Drama. We eventually agreed to go to the station with dem

They took our laptops as “evidence”

This story is quite long because this started about 10 or so this morning. Long and short, I was shamed at the police station for being loud

They hurled all sorts of sexist comments. Because say you go school. Mane dey talk you dey talk. I get your type for house etc

One female police even threatened to beat me and cure me of my “sharp mouth”

The attention was no longer on the cultist charge but on my “sharp mouth” They went through our laptops. Nothing!

I need to point out that at home when they saw a car key, they asked for the name of he car, I said BMW, he just smiled. I was like oh…kay

About six hours later, they’re asking for 200k to “die the case” Are we not cultists and kidnappers again? Hian

Lawyer came to “bail” us out with 20k… They charged boyfriend with “suspected cultism” and me for “obstruction of justice”

I don’t even know if they’ll come back. They know where I live. I don’t feel safe at all. But I’m home now, thanks for asking.

My whole day… I didn’t even go to work, I haven’t eaten, I couldn’t change my tampon… I’m still shaken up

To think, after we had a new neighbor move in with 4 cars I’d been worried about kidnappers showing up, THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE SHOWED UP!

Shaken up, preparing to move. I’ve called agent already, I can’t.

The funny part about all these is people have told me it happens a lot, and I just became a target. Please tell me, HOW CAN I SLEEP?

They kept asking about the cars. The cars drew them to he compound. Talk about stalking.

So basically they barged into the compound and randomly knocked on doors. We just happened to be the ones at home. Y’all need to stay woke!

They were asking who owns what car and who had traveled! Still feel safe in your homes?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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HOW WOMEN CAN HELP EACH OTHER SUCCEED

Someday, women will be paid the same as men for doing the same job. That day, judging from recent news, may not come any time soon.

Some of it, if not much of it, is the fault of employers. But is there any fault on the part of women?

An article from The Atlantic suggests that some women, particularly of older generations, may have inadvertently fed certain stereotypes about women in their quest to work in a man’s world. The story examined two women worker archetypes: the ideal and moral “Righteous Woman” and the catty and divisive “queen bee.”

The righteous Woman is an ideal based on the idea that since all women face sexism, they should be willing to fight for and form alliances with other women. However, the queen bee is based on the idea that women “just can’t get along” and comes from the thought that there is just something about a woman that will cause her to sabotage other women for her own gain, according to The Atlantic.

The two depictions, seemingly at odds, have in common that they perpetuate the double standard that conflict in the workplace and out between men is normal but between women is not, according to The Atlantic. This, despite studies that show men engage in female-associated, passive-aggressive behavior such as gossip and exclusion about as much or even more than women.

Other research suggests that queen bee identities emerge when a woman, who previously thought her gender was irrelevant to pay or performance, experiences gender bias and sees that coworkers view her as a woman instead of a person, The Atlantic stated. So to set herself apart, this woman adopts more masculine speech about herself, putting down other women in the process.

The Atlantic noted that a woman strongly identifying as a woman increased the likelihood of helping other women, as opposed to distancing herself from her gender.

Judith Williams, the global head of diversity at the file-sharing website Dropbox, told Black Enterprise that women should think about getting sponsors and mentors, which are people who will speak up for them when they’re not present and who will vouch that they have the capabilities to get a job done.

She also said that while there may be some basis in catty stereotypes of women, she suspects a lot of it is just based in perception.

Arianna Huffington, editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post, also gave some of her thoughts on how women in the workplace can be there for each other in a Huffington Post blog.

She said it’s important that female coworkers be there for each other, “not just during the big moments of obvious success or failure, but in all the small ways in which the workplace culture isn’t there for them.”

Huffington also tied the full integration of women in the workplace to the redefinement of what success means, getting away from money and power as markers, which indirectly if not actively advocates burnout and instead promote wellness of body and mind.

“You shouldn’t have to lose yourself to advance yourself,” said Huffington.

 

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#PROFILE |MEET OLUTOSIN ADEBOWALE, THE WOMAN  TURNING TRASH INTO TREASURE & EMPOWERING WOMEN IN RURAL COMMUNITIES

Olutosin founded Star of Hope Transformation Centre after her training as one of the Voices of our Future Correspondents on World Pulse in 2009 .

With such an empowerment opportunity on Worldpulse , she knew that there is no going back in sacrificing whatever it takes to liberate women and children from the shackles of oppression, irrespective of race, creed, tongue or geographical area, as long as we are human beings.

Beaten by her husband some weeks after a rigorous childbirth, coupled with the different kinds of violence she had seen her mother suffered before she died, Olutosin Adebowale made up her mind not to allow a repeat, Hence the reason she founded Star of hope transformation centre.

Transformation Centre works in four thematic areas, which are: Child Sexual Abuse, prevention, response and treatment, Gender Based Violence, Empowerment on Street Skills and the Centre operates both online and offline resources which provides valuable materials on the highlighted subjects. With ample experience on NGO Management, the Center explores the avenue to sustain its activities.

Olutosin believes in equality of women and men also that every adult in the community is responsible for the protection of children, therefore everyone must be empowered on prevention of violence, in all forms. She loves to protect women and children, speaking out against social injustice, corruption and prevention of sexual while at the same time repairing lives that are at the verge of destruction by sexual violence and poverty.

Educationally, she studied English Language at the University of Lagos (1997) Masters in English Language (2001), after which she did Diploma in Computer. The struggle Violence against women led her to End Violence Against Women.org, where she was trained.

She has written four manuscripts on sexual violence, widowhood and infidelity. Waiting for the Publication of her first book. The first book is a collection of poems addressing issues concerning women and human rights.She loves producing tie and dye in its different styles and shades, designing and sewing clothes, teaching poor women how to tie and dye and sew beautiful female and male clothes and to top it all, she designs and sews cooking bags!!!!

She is blessed with two lovely daughters; Angel and Divine and 100 other children at the riverside in Ibasa, Lagos Nigeria.

In her words :

“I want to start a PLACE FOR CREATION where women and girls can explore their creativity and become the best they want to be in life”.

 

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NIGERIA HAS MORE WOMEN ENTREPRENEUR – BBC REPORT

 

A recent documentary by BBC shows the entrepreneurial spirit of Nigerian women.  BBC spoke to two women – Ayo Megbope and Aminat Salau – who sell moi moi, a meal made from beans, to make a living.

“Forty percent of Nigerian women are entrepreneurs, that is higher than anywhere else in the world,” BBC said.

Ayo started by selling moi moi, but now has a restaurant and a catering service.

“I started my business about nine years ago with a seed capital of $3. Nine years after, we are turning over about $250,000 annually. My access to education and information has helped me a great deal. Family and friends have also been good to me. There have been times that I got stuck and I needed to raise capital and I ran to family and friends because the traditional financial institutions would not listen to me,” Ayo said.

According to Aminat: “Sales are good, on some days we sell 60 or 80 wraps in the morning. When we have more time or more people passing by, we sell till late in the evening.”

According to BBC: “Female entrepreneurs in Nigeria often struggle to secure investment, banks normally require collateral, like property, which women often do not have. Without access to capital, it will be difficult for Aminat to grow her business.”

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I HAVE NOT BEEN TEMPTED TO BE SUICIDAL, I HAVE ONLY BEEN TEMPTED TO GIVE UP’ – ADENIKE OYETUNDE -FOUNDER, AMPUTEES UNITED INITIATIVE

At the age of 20, Adenike had one of her limbs amputated as a result of cancer , but the survivor continues to live her life like it’s golden,inspiring people daily through her story and touching lives, . The founder of “Amputees United Intiative” plans to provide support to amputees and create awareness through her organisation. Adenike shares her inspiring story with us and also reveals how she survived the dark phase in her life and her plans for her organisation.

The beginning

February 4 2006, started me on the life changing journey I have embarked on, these few years. It’s been a roller coaster ride, with its ups and downs. A journey very less traveled, and so, the outcomes are highly uncertain, as with similar trips. A journey where the destination remains unclear, can only be traveled with God. It’s has made me get close to him, been lukewarm, getting back to knowing him; and realizing undoubtedly, the only thing else that makes sense, would be to be on His team. It’s crazy, especially in a society like ours. We don’t even know how many persons living with disabilities we have, and I suggest wonder why some folks are surprised we can’t care for them. We don’t even know the forms of disabilities, how do we care for them? I didn’t have anything handed down to me, so far on this journey. I have had to kneel before God especially for the biggest things men once thought were obviously impossible to get. I have had to wonder if it may have been a little different, only if I didn’t have to lose the use of my right natural limb.

People somehow just expect you to be high and fly, almost at every point in time; and when you’re not, they know it’s most definitely because one has a special need. It’s been a crazy journey, but an evidently worthwhile one.

Losing her limbs

Nothing ever prepares you for a life of limb loss. I was hardly ever prepared, or so it seemed. In hindsight sometimes, I think I was prepared, but had no idea, it was a training process. I can be so annoying. I hang up the phone so easily, and I have been working on that. I am a trustworthy person, if I do say so myself. Can be very loquacious, but I definitely, know the limits.

My driving force

The reasons I am alive drives me. My visions, purpose of course are embedded in these reasons and it’s systematic and progressive unveiling will only happen through God

State of mind when I was told my leg would be amputated

Amazingly, I wasn’t destabilized this was because from the date of my diagnosis, till the eventual amputation, I knew time was running out, and I had no choice, save to amputate my limb. I was way mentally prepared for the procedure, but of course, not the new realities I was to face. I needed to jump start’ my life, and I knew the amputation was the first step. I needed to go face it.

Passion for broadcasting

Truthfully, I looked for a job as a lawyer, but wasn’t successful, because I hadn’t been pushy about it.Then came the season to re-discover myself, and broadcasting was where my passion also lied. Of course, my dad’s influence wouldn’t be undermined, as I remember growing up around news studios, and on the Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria ground. My dad retired from the FRCN, as a manager News and Current Affairs.

Greatest influence on my life

Sometimes when I mention Jesus as my greatest life influence it just gets me emotional. Another person who has continued to impact me is a dear friend, Udy. Udy Ntia is my pastor, mentor and most importantly friend. He has been able to help me to rediscover who I am and my journey of purpose.

Tempted to quit

I have not been tempted to be suicidal .I have only been tempted to give up. A number of times, I get so frustrated at the turn out of events in life, and I begin to ask myself if the story may have changed, only if I had both natural limbs. I hardly ever stay in this sort of mood for so long, so I get back and keep moving.

 

Greatest Reward

My greatest reward has been the joy that fills my heart when people unbeknownst to me, have gotten inspired by my story and become more appreciative of their own situation.

Greatest Reward

My greatest reward has been the joy that fills my heart when people unbeknownst to me, have gotten inspired by my story and become more appreciative of their own situation.

Compassion and empathy are not the same

Nigerians are compassionate towards amputees. Unfortunately, compassion and empathy are two very distinct, yet closely related terms. It’s fine to show compassion, but there’s a very thin line, and that’s where I usually have an issue. We are amputates, we understand you simply are concerned about our wellbeing, but we need you to let us ‘fall and stand again. One would have thought the compassion would have translated to so much, as better care for we amputees, or persons living with disabilities, but that’s not the case. Those in the position to effect the changes we need, to live a better quality of life, do not do so.

Inspiration behind Amputees United

It was born out of my passion for fellow Amputees, I look back at my journey in 11years and sincerely I wouldn’t want them to go on this mental journey alone. I will love to help them wage through the storm, because honestly, I went through this, that I may help them on their journey.

Message to other Amputees

We at the AMPUTEES UNITED INITIATIVE would love that you allow us hold hands together. Let’s hold hands till you come to terms with your new reality. Let’s hold hands, so you don’t have to suffer depression. Let’s hold hands to inspire one another. Let’s hold hands, so they know we can, despite our journeys.

Advice to women living with disabilities

Get up, yes you can. Please get up, move on. You can, and will do it. Your hair will grow again, your love life will re-ignite, your finance will stabilize, and your health will be restored.

Final words

The notion of the Nigerian woman we once had, has evolved. She has grown in leaps and bounds. She has learnt to handle her home, career and God, very well.So, everyone must discover, and as quickly as she can, who she is, what she stands for, what she’s here for, and get to work.

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NKEM NDEM: VALENTINE’S DAY IS NOT A DO-OR-DIE MATTER

I am going to be completely honest: I am a huge romantic. I love love…and as such, I certainly adore the idea of a specific day being set aside to celebrate love. Unfortunately, though, I haven’t had much luck with Valentine’s Day!

My earliest memory of the holiday is of my bubble literally bursting after a package I found in my schoolbag (and had been so excited about) revealed a rusty GL neck-chain which my secret crush -who sadly, wasn’t the guy I fancied at the time- had obtained from his grandmother’s box of rejected jewelries and placed in a card designed with the picture of a half-eaten apple and a mouth that said “You are so delicious”.

Even worse was Valentine’s Day 2008, My 3rd year at Covenant University, when a porter at Deborah Hall, one of school hostels, seized the bag of provisions my mother had sent to me through a family friend, Obinna, with claims that Valentine gifts were not allowed from males at the female hostels. The thought of that day still brings tears to my eyes. It was the worst experience ever. Not only did I have to deal with the pain of realizing that I would have to survive the next 4 weeks without Milk, Milo, Rice krispies, Titus Sardines and other school-life necessities, I also had to sit through hours of watching other girls gush over the Val gifts their boyfriends managed to smuggle into the hall and silently wonder when “amoshine”.

Over the years, I have come to realize that contrary to what romantic comedies had me believing since I was about 6, Valentine’s Day actually isn’t all that great. In reality, it is more like a number of the fancy clubs on Lagos Island- the idea of the club is way better than the actual club in itself. The music is so loud you are in a constant state of stress; the people suck; you spend so much money but never have any fun really; yet, you keep coming back, telling yourself that will it get better.

Let’s face it, Nigerians are submerged in the cultural hypnosis that nudges them to associate true love and commitment with Valentine’s Day. I consider this a form of “conditioning” as the Valentine’s Day of today so obviously has nothing to do with real love. It is now a highly commercialized day of forced love with the main beneficiaries being brands that get to sell you anything from red flowers and chocolates to exorbitant destination getaways. Even worse, having a date on this day, also, has become a status symbol more than anything else, and for some God-knows-why reason, being able to celebrate Valentine’s Day means that you are somehow better or more successful than your single friends.

Quite honestly, the level of pressure this holiday brings is worse than that of a shaken bottle of Coke. The singles who dream of being coupled up, face the pressure of finding a date at all costs; those who are dating feel the pressure to find the ultimate gift or pull off the most original and meaningful romantic gesture ever; and Nigerian girls who like to show off their Val gifts certainly do not want to be at the bottom of the totem pole, so, they weary their men and literally everyone else with their demands. In fact, even the men -especially the stingy and weak ones- who do not want to deal with all the pressure, say and do all they can to get away with not celebrating it. You find them making such silly statements as “every day is Valentine’s day”, “Can’t you see it’s quarter to Buhari O’clock?”, or “Love should be spontaneous and not contrived, Valentine’s day defeats that purpose”. Some even go as far as breaking up with their girlfriends days before February 14th.

The truth is, Valentine’s Day celebrations is not a do-or-die affair. The choice to go ahead with the celebration is up to you and if you decide you don’t want it or that the day is not for you, no one will kill you (hopefully). Of course, the sentiment behind the day is probably worth celebrating but…whether you choose to abstain from the celebrations, or whether you go along with the commercialized way we presently celebrate the holiday, note that your grand gestures will not be able to replace emotional intimacy if the security of your bond is already in question. Also, for those who are single and filled with resentment for people with partner to celebrate the holiday with…please, stop it. Stop jealous. The day is not just for those who have partners, and as such, you are not required to have a “bae” to enjoy it. Make the most of the day. And if not for anything, take full advantage of this day because it is a day in your life.

I am hoping this February 14th will be pleasant for everyone really. Surely, every Nigerian can use a bit of love at this time as we keep standing together #IstandwithNigeria

Happy Valentine’s Day!

xx

 

Source: Bellanaija
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ETHIOPIA’S GENZEBE DIBABA BREAKS WOMEN’S 2000M RECORD

Ethiopia’s Genzebe Dibaba ran the fastest ever women’s 2000 metres at the indoor Miting Internacional de Catalunya meeting in Sabadell, Spain on Tuesday.

Her time of five minutes 23.75 seconds sliced almost seven seconds off the previous indoor world record of 5:30.53 set by Romania’s Gabriela Szabo in 1998.

The International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF), athletics’ world governing body, said although the 2000m is not an official indoor world record event, Dibaba’s performance was “an outright world record’’.

It said it was faster than the outdoor mark of 5:25.36 set by Ireland’s Sonia O’Sullivan.

The 25-year-old Dibaba, a three-time world indoor champion, now owns the fastest recorded times indoors.

These are for the 1500m, mile, 2000m, 3000m, two miles and 5000m, as well as the outdoor 1500m world record.

 

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