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Ladies, you have been praying about your new relationship. You even chose to pray when he started misbehaving.

You asked God to show you signs if you should marry him or not.

Suddenly, his mild bad attitudes became worse. He even maltreat and abuse you more. He doesn’t respect you and doesn’t bother about your welfare.

You have been asking him what went wrong and he says nothing or talks down on you.

You have been fasting and praying more for greater signs and wonders and after every prayer, his attitudes become worse.

What else do you want?

Greater miracles? Unseen signs and wonders?

The problem is not that you can’t see the signs, you just expect a change because you’re deep in love. You are obsessed.

The love is not the problem, he is not the issue too, you just haven’t discovered who you are what you want and what you deserve.

You even think you don’t deserve better. You are so used to being abused and you have embraced it more. You keep projecting your insecurities but you think you are just a slaying Queen.

Take a look at your past and your present. Observe the patterns, notice the emotional instability and ask yourself questions that can preserve your future.

Don’t get carried away by the internet and it’s societal pressure of what a woman is.

Don’t read fashion magazines alone, read quality books too.

Your life is more than what you see now. You are a treasure waiting to be found.

Pause and seek within. You deserve more.

Don’t limit yourself to the experiences you have had with friends and men while growing up.
You need to sort out your issues and inner demon before it consumes you.

I know what it feels like to be insecure and have low self-esteem. It’s not a good pace to be. I know what it means to seek for validation from men and relationships but that’s not what you need yet. Let God fill your heart and give you a sense of purpose and essence. Work on your values and what you project. Talk to someone if it’s not doable by you.

Enough of nudity, promiscuity, abusive relationships and purposeless life.

It’s time for you to evolve.

We can connect on: adenikeadedokun@gmail.com if you need to talk about it.

The beautiful things about morning is that they largely determine the rest part of the day.  To keep that get-fit momentum going all day long, start your day off right with these morning habits that will motivate you even more.

GET SOME SUN

Basking in the sun’s rays can help you drop pounds. Why? Morning light helps regulate your internal clock, which aids your sleep schedule (crucial for weight loss). Morning sunshine also contains higher levels of blue light, which has the strongest effect on your circadian rhythm. You only need 20-30 minutes of morning sunlight between 8 a.m. and noon to get in on these benefits!

GET IN A MINDFUL MOOD

Mindfulness is a key strategy when it comes to weight loss. It’s all about taking a focused, intentional approach to your life by really tuning in to your body and mind. Even better, it can stabilize your emotions, potentially making you less likely to give into stress-based eating. Take a few minutes at the start of each day to sit quietly and focus on the rhythm of your breath.

CHANGE UP YOUR COMMUTE

Driving to work is easy, but it may not be best for your waistline. A study published in the journal BMJ shows that people who walk, bike, and take public transportation have lower BMIs and body-fat percentages than those who depended on their cars to get to work. Even walking to the closest bus stop or train station can be beneficial.

GO HIGH-PROTEIN

While the jury’s still out on whether breakfast is essential for weight loss, a healthy dose of protein in the morning looks like it can help you drop pounds. Protein takes a long time to digest and pushes your body to secrete the gut hormone Peptide YY, which helps increase feelings of fullness.

Photocredit : kokofeed.com

 

 

Last week, Ariyike listed out the things NOT to give your boo on Val’s day and she promised to be back this week to tell us some gift ideas for Valentine’s day. Watch this hilarious episode of Ariyike weekly as she gives us gift ideas for Valentine’s day.
Join the conversation and tell us what you want for Val’s day and your ideal Val’s day Present for your beloved.

Omaness Skinfood is an African-inspired beauty brand that offers a range of exquisitely natural skin and hair products.  The products are handcrafted with a hero indigenous ingredient of shea butter and other naturally derived active ingredients locally sourced from Nigeria and other African communities

Omaness Skinfood combines the wealth of Africa’s natural oils, simple century-long skincare tradition and modern technology to create products that deliver on value and result.

The products are great for variety of skin and hair types.

From sustainably sourcing active indigenous ingredients from artisan producers to local production and community empowerment, Omaness Skinfood is building a truly African brand that fosters beauty, wellness and livelihood.

This month, Omaness Skinfood is celebrating its prelaunch with a giveaway of mini sized products to 50people.

Body Butter Soufflé
Creamy Body Scrub
Moisturizing Body & Hair Oil

Follow the steps in the AD  to win

I grew up in a nice middle class home.

Growing up in a middle class family had its pros and cons.

The pros were:

  1. We had just enough to eat
  2. We had just enough clothes to wear
  3. We had a roof over our head
  4. We had a good enough school to attend
  5. We lived in a secure enough environment

In a country where over 70% of people live below one dollar a day, having those five things made you privileged!

I remember being driven around in my Dad’s staff car(official car in the military) and looking out of the window at the crowd in Oshodi(a busy area in Lagos) which was not so far from our home in Airforce base Ikeja and wondering why people had to go through so much stress to make a living….

Little did I know that some years later I would join that crowd as I made my way in life…

Which leads me to the cons:

  1. A false sense of security that made you want to stay safe and remain there forever.
  2. A fear of dreaming big and wanting more; you were already in the top 30% so what more could you want?
  3. Just enough became good enough!

One day I got fed up and told my sister that this was the curse of the middle class; just enough to keep you going, but never more than enough to give you the best life had to offer…

I wanted more!

My journey to searching for more led me through mountains, valleys, heart breaks and breakthroughs which mainly started to come when I developed a relationship with God and found my purpose.

6 years ago after a pseudo recovery from another heartache that life threw my way, I decided I was going to write a book!

For me, writing has always being therapeutic and the book was going to empower people to live their best lives and find their purpose.

5 years ago, I wrote a book with and about Mrs Tara Fela-Durotoye in what was supposed to be a series titled ‘The Empowering women series’. It was a great adventure, but distribution and awareness creation was a herculean task as social media had not opened up as it has now.

I shelved the series and kept on living my life and doing my work…..

I knew I was going to write again. About what, I did not know.

As my work as a business coach progressed, I thought it was logical that I wrote a book about how to grow a successful business. However, I began to remember how I felt all those years when I said to myself; there has to be more!

I started remembering the questions I was asked by several people about how to find their work that they could make into a profitable passion. It became clear to me that people were looking to find their niche.

I kept that in mind as something I would possibly write about to give people a practical guide to find their niche and turn it into a profitable passion.

However, I did not have a book title…..

Last year April, I began to feel restless, I had that same nagging feeling in my heart that there must be more, I realized once again that I was not living to my fullest potential.

I was letting fear rule again, the curse of the middle class was haunting me again…just enough was becoming good enough!

I took some time off to think, strategize and pray and one day, I woke up with a word in my heart; UPLEVEL!

I had never searched for that word before so I was curious. According to the urban dictionary, Uplevel means to grow in areas you have been previously stagnant.

I knew it was my word! I knew I had found my call to action! Most importantly, I had found my book title.

The other day, someone called me the Uplevel queen. I smiled because I realize one word has really made such a significant impact on my life and it is time for me to share it with the world.

The book is titled “Uplevel-find your niche, share your story, build your tribe and profit from your passion”.

My goal through the book is to take you on a journey to uplevel. I provide both inspiration and practical exercises that will guide you to find your niche, teach you how to craft a compelling story, show you how to build a tribe of raving fans and customers and then guide you to profit from you passion as you serve the world at your highest potential.

Uplevel is a call for you to raise your standards, to awaken that part of you that ‘life happened’ has shut down. It is also a practical guide to show you how to do this.

The book is slated to be officially available on the 6th of March 2017, however we have opened it for pre-orders for the next two weeks (13th to 28th of March) for people who want to enjoy the special privilege of getting it first at a discounted price and also get some special bonuses with it.

I will be doing free and exclusive uplevel book workshops in various cities in Nigeria. Our first workshop is slated for Sunday March 26th in Lagos and we already have some amazing brands partnering to make it an amazing experience.

If you pre-order the book, you will be on the priority sitting list.

I want to go on this journey with you to Uplevel and I want us to partner, if you are ready to start the journey, you can learn more, watch videos and pre-order your copy of the book at www.talealimi.com/uplevelbook.

It is your time to raise your standards and Uplevel!

The 59th Annual Grammy Awards Ceremony was held on February 12, at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Carlifonia, and as usual, some of the celebrities brought their fashion A-game.

Singer Rihanna, arrived fashionably late in a two-piece crop top and ball skirt combo by Armani Prive, while Jennifer Lopez was a dreamy goddess in a lavender-colored Ralph & Russo couture gown.

Here they are :

Rihanna is a true style star in this two-piece look from Armani that would look like a hot mess on anyone else. The “music of the sun” hair was a nice nostalgic touch.

Rihanna in Armani Prive

Solange went for Gold in Gucci, which complemented her first Grammy win beautifully, save for the hair though.

Solange Knowles in Custom Gucci

Celine Dion shimmered in an age-appropriate Zuhair Murad Couture number.

Celine Dion in Zuhair Murad Couture

Adele did justice to this green creation by Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy, his (possibly) last creation for the house he recently departed.

Adele in Givenchy Couture by Riccardo Tisci

Jennifer Lopez who is never one to disappoint on any red carpet slayed as usual in Ralph & Russo.

Jennifer Lopez in Ralph & Russo Couture

Source: Bellanaija.com

Just in time for Valentine’s day, publicist, talent/brand manager and event producer, Lola Adamson shared her very relatable (yes! very relateable lol) list of things guys do or say that constantly piss women off in this new episode of her vlog; LolaUnflittered.

“Welcome to another unfiltered episode of Lola Unfiltered, Lol! On this episode, I talk about some things men say or do that annoy the women in their lives. Share your thoughts with us in the comment box below, let me know what your husband, boyfriend, friends or brother says to tick you off, Lol.

 

I just wanted to share my opinion on the subject matter. Hopefully, people can see reasons as to why I think this way.

Personally, I do not believe that anyone “should” pamper or spend on anyone. What I mean is that it is NOT a responsibility or an obligation that someone has to “fulfill”.

Therefore, I believe that these “should” mindsets are also responsible for a good number of unnecessary issues in relationships… men “should” do this, women “should” do that, it is a man who is “supposed” to do this or women are not “supposed” to do this, and so on.

It is silly to me… nonsense, in my opinion.

And NO, I’m not talking about gender roles in nature. No! I am talking about these things we call “culture” in this part of the world, that people use as excuses to cover up their selfishness or pride.

All of the women I’ve had relations with in the past, did not think that way, thankfully. I mean, they did not think that as the man, I “should” spend on them or that I was “supposed” to be the one pampering, and so on. And yes, they were ALL Nigerians!

Well, there was one (the Devil Woman) who thought I was “supposed” to do a loooong list of things lol.

In the other relationships however, we both pampered each other, and spent on each other. But we did so because we WANTED to… not because we were obligated to, not because we “should” or were “supposed” to.

We take each other out without the other having to ask, at random and on occasions. We gift each other things at random and on occasion, not because it is required, but because we want to. We pampered and spent on each other as we were capable and able to… NOT because it was a “requirement”. We give because we want to.

I am grateful that I am able give. I give when I can, as often as I can. My former roommate once said that I have the gift of gift giving, or something like that.

But I don’t give gifts because I am “supposed” to, or because as a man I “should” give gifts. I do because I love them and so I want to make them happy. It never mattered who gave or didn’t give, or how often the gift, money or pampering was give. We did not care about all that at all.

If you love someone, you will pamper and spend on them BECAUSE you love them… NOT because you are a man and men “should” gift more, or women “should” receive more, or whatever.
If you claim to love someone, but refuse to pamper or spend on them because it is NOT your “responsibility” as a woman, then I think that maybe you are just being selfish.

Because I don’t see why you would have the capability to pamper your man (once in a while like Helium suggested) and then you will fold your hands and say “Mba! Not me! He’s the man in the relationship. He’s the one who should pamper me.” Mbiko, why?
If you hold back from doing these things that you actually can, and you choose not to, simply because it’s your partner who “should” do those things… then I think you are probably being selfish.

If your excuse is that your partner will feel you’re desperate or that you’re throwing yourself at them… then I think you’re in the wrong relationship. I’m sorry!

If your excuse is that your partner will take your spending and pampering for granted, or that they will take advantage of it then… then I think you are probably in the wrong relationship! You better find your way out of that relationship while you can!

I mean, why would you want to be in a serious relationship with someone who will take you for granted (or take advantage of you), for ANY reason whatsoever? If that’s the kind of partner you desire, then by every means… don’t pamper them, so that they won’t take advantage or take you for granted. Because the “right” person for you is not one who will take you for granted, whether you pamper them or not, whether you throw yourself at them or not, whether you spend on them or not.

I often say that… if one “has” to get a second job, just to be in a relationship with you, then something is NOT right. If being your boyfriend means I need a second source of income, then something is NOT right.

So I don’t think anyone “should”. Do you love them or do you not? Because that’s what all this boils down to… it’s either you love them or you don’t!

Read my definition of love again (attached below), and there you will find the simple answer to whether or not who “should” do this or that.

I welcome your comments.

By: Okiemute Omuta

Copied from his Facebook Page.

Its February , and love is likely to be in the air –  seeing that we spend the most part of our day with colleagues within our organisation, chances are that falling in love in or around the office environment is highly likely and is happening now more frequently than ever.

The best predictor of attraction is propinquity; it’s really no wonder they happen considering we spend over 8 hours a day in the near presence of others, it is no surprise that you get to like and feel attracted to them.  You are people with similar levels of education, interests and values being recruited to organisations so the process of assortative mating begins at corporate selection itself.

So why should the office not be a good place to find a partner?  Can, or indeed should, anyone try to legislate matters of the heart or hormones?

Workplace relationships happen; full stop.  Being open, grown-up and sensible is best.

Quite a few of us meet our partners at work, but you don’t need to be a killjoy to realise that workplace relationships can get us into trouble. Even if things go smoothly, undisclosed relationships can give rise to conflicts of interest, office gossip and there is always the risk of blurring boundaries, which could lead to allegations of poor performance or misconduct.

Here are a few tips to managing workplace relationships.

  • Keep communications and behaviour in the workplace professional.
  • Avoid a relationship with someone who reports to you, or to whom you report. If you think there may be a conflict of interest, consider disclosing the relationship
  • Remember confidentiality. You may be party to work-related information that you must not share, even with your partner
  • Consider how your workplace dealings with your partner may be construed by other colleagues
  • Have a plan for how to deal with what happens if the relationship breaks down.

While employees are entitled to a private life, employers should only interfere in personal relationships only when there is a direct impact on the workplace.

Setting Cupid aside for a moment, Good working relationships give us several other benefits: our work is more enjoyable when we have good relationships with those around us. Also, colleagues are more likely to go along with changes that we want to implement, and we’re more innovative and creative. It also gives us freedom, enabling us to focus on opportunities. Maintaining good relationships will not only make you more engaged and committed to your organization; it can also open doors to key projects, career advancement, and raises.

Just remember – not all relationships will be great; but you can make sure that they are, at least, workable!

 

ABOUT  TOLA

Bamigbaiye-Elatuyi Omotola is a Regional Marketing Manager for West Africa in an FMCG. A firm believer in empowering others for success in the work place as she is a well sought after facilitator on Marketing and Business management. She also manages Workplace Management columns and Consumer Insight columns in magazines published across West Africa as well as volunteering with NGO’s as a child educator.

Instagram: tolaspeaks
Twitter: alottola

 

I was at a wedding last Saturday. I love weddings, I think it’s romantic in a way. I was exceptionally happy because this wedding was a testimony and a proof that God never abandons his own. At some point, none of us – including the bride – was sure about the wedding anymore. We had almost given up because everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong.

Imagine a scenario where the wedding has been planned, the dates fixed, cards printed, every necessary item bought and then the wedding didn’t hold. That was exactly what happened, and it was traumatising to say the least. I won’t go into much details because I respect the privacy of the people involved. One thing I learnt from the whole thing though is that ‘what will be will be’ – if only the people involved are determined to make it work.

I believe that there is a woman for every man and vice versa. How and when one will meet his soulmate is entirely in the hands of our creator. My friend had gone through hell in the hands of men, and every time she gets hurt, I’d remind her that she was yet to find her soulmate. The search continued until one day she met ‘him’ her soulmate.

Everything clicked from the get-go. You could tell they were headed for the altar, and when he proposed, I smiled and said, ‘but I told you so’. When the wedding plans were hijacked and the couple were faced with all sorts of oppositions, she came crying to me. I reminded her that nothing good comes easy.

My friends, na so I turn to marriage counsellor oo. She would call me at odd hours, heartbroken and almost giving up. We would pray together and I would drop some words of advice. Honestly, every wedding period comes with its own peculiar challenges and that is why the couple need to be steadfast, prayerful and honest with each other at all times. That way, they can form a united front and face the challenges squarely.

Eventually, tired of the whole thing, the guy suggested a registry wedding, which seemed like a smart thing to do as that would calm all frayed nerves and soften all opposition. The notice she gave me was so short, literally less than 15 hours, but I was determined to make it – especially since I was going to be the witness at the occasion.
I moved every other thing I had to do that day and went to the registry to support my girl and I am happy everything turned out well. Seeing how gorgeous my friend looked, and how she and her husband smiled into each other’s eyes was enough consolation for the stress they have both passed through.

It’s such joy to marry someone you love. I believe that love is a key ingredient in marriage, and one needs lots of love to go through the institution of marriage. As I made a toast to the couple at the lunch table, I gave them a few words of wisdom and shared some of my experiences with them. The other guests, especially the married ones, also shared their own experiences at the table.
One thing I could tell was that this couple were determined to be happy against all odds and I couldn’t help but wish them all the best.

That being said, last Wednesday was my wedding anniversary. I must say I was spoilt beyond my expectations *wink*. We also took out time for a little tete a tete. Having such conversations is healthy for a relationship because it helps both parties to be on the same page and also recognise and appreciate the sacrifices each one is making to make the relationship work.
Marriage is not just a union, it’s also about selflessness and sacrifices and a mix of the good and bad. We can only pray for more good times and less bad times.

Source: Bellanaija