Women of Rubies
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NO DRUG CAN SHRINK OR PASS OUT FIBROID -SURGEON

Dr Olowojebutu, also the Founder, Benjamin Olowojebutu Foundation (BOF), an NGO, has revealed that no drug can shrink or pass out fibroid in a woman,  at a news conference on Saturday in Lagos.

Fibroids are non-cancerous abnormal growths that develop in or around the womb (uterus). The growths are made up of muscle and fibrous tissue, and vary in size.

The surgeon advised women that instead, they should visit a doctor and get examined when they suspected to have fibroid.

The foundation helps indigent women suffering from various conditions such as Fibroids, Breast lumps, and Hernias.

There are lots of fallacies and superstitious beliefs around fibroid that you can take medicines to shrink or pass it out from the anus; that is what is killing many women today.

Some women have been taken herbal drugs for years and instead of shrinking the fibroid, it is getting bigger.

We want to create awareness to let people know that there is help for them, Olowojebutu said.

The surgeon said that this had contributed a major challenge to the reason many people sought other alternatives rather than visiting the hospital.

He said that his foundation was willing to meet the needs of women who could not afford to pay for surgeries.

According to him, we are targeting 1,000 women for free surgeries in 2019.

Olowojebutu said that the average cost of surgery was N500,000 in the Mainland and about N1million in the Island, both areas in Lagos State.

So, imagine somebody earning N4,000 a month. How long will such person save to be able to pay for surgery.

The goal of BOF is to, in the long run, change the healthcare space with love and compassion.

Our project for 2019 is called Journey To 1,000 Free Surgeries; our aim is to be able to help 1,000 indigent patients suffering from Fibriods, Lipoma Breast Lumps and Hernia.

We have started already and we just concluded the Ikorodu outreach where eight fibroid surgeries took place.

We are off to Cross River, Imo, Abia, Edo, Rivers and Ondo States from the Feb.1, he said.

Olowojebutu said that fibroid was very common in African women and also in Nigeria.

He said, however, that the risk of developing fibroid could be reduced if a woman married early and there was a break in their menstrual flow.

Women who menstruate early, let us say at 10 years old and you are now 35 years old, that is 25 years of bleeding without a break.

When there is no break in your menstrual flow, that is, the longer you are menstruating for, you stimulate the oestrogen hormone to produce fibroid.

Women who have many babies may not have fibroid, because there is usually a break; one year of pregnancy and another for breastfeeding, which is two years of break.

So, the oestrogen hormone cannot stimulate their wombs to grow the fibroid, he said.

 

Credit: pulse.ng

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“I’VE BEEN RAPED TWICE AND BATTLED DEPRESSION ALMOST HALF OF MY LIFE” – TOPE DELANO

32-year old Nigerian journalist, Tope Delano has just shared a very touching story of how she’s been raped twice, survived post partum depression and how she’s lost almost everyone she loves.

According to her, ‘I was molested between ages of 7 and 11, raped twice, battled depression almost half her life, dealt with post-partum depression, lost 4 persons in a space of 1yr 5 month’.

 

Follow her story below…

 

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NOLLYWOOD ACTRESS, KATE HENSHAW NAMED JUDGE ON CBS TALENT SHOW

Kate Henshaw has been selected to be among the 50 judges for “The World’s Best”, a talent show put together by CBS Global.

Kate shared this laudable achievement via her Instagram page earlier today, January 25.

An excited Henshaw told her fans that she’s ‘totally excited to finally announce that she is one of the International judges, proudly representing Nigeria in the New CBS Global talent show.’

The reality TV series, touted as the biggest talent show in the world, will be hosted by Emmy Award winner James Corden.  The show premieres in the US on February 3, right after the Super Bowl.

Henshaw alongside 49 other international entertainers from various countries will make up a cross-section of judges called ‘Wall of the World’.

Speaking on what to expect from the show, Alison Holloway, executive producer, and showrunner, said:

“From Nigeria to Japan, from Switzerland to Samoa, our 50 world experts bring a true global presence to our stage.

“Among them are champions, award-winners, international TV judges and even superstars in their native lands. They are knowledgeable, honest and, at times, outrageous. They bring an entirely fresh perspective to the talent show landscape.”

The series is a one-of-a-kind talent competition featuring elite acts from around the globe competing for a $1 million prize. The acts not only have to impress the all-star line-up of American judges also need to break through the “wall of the world,” featuring more than 50 renowned experts from 38 different countries.

 

Credit: fabwoman.ng

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THE HEALTH SYSTEM IN NIGERIA IS QUITE POOR – DR. CASSANDRA AKINDE, MEDICAL DOCTOR & ACTIVIST

Dr. Cassandra Bolanle Akinde is a young medical doctor with a burning passion for public health, humanitarian causes and the sustainable development goals. She obtained an MBBS (Bachelor’s in Medicine and Surgery) degree from the prestigious University of Lagos in 2016.

She is currently the Team Lead for The Nigerian Child Initiative, a non-profit which promotes child health awareness and sustainable education to empower them with healthy choices. Her work centres on helping these children understand that sound education and good health are vital determinants in ensuring their success as future leaders.

In her years of working with The Nigerian Child Initiative, she and her team have reached out to over three thousand children in schools on SDG education by organising interschool essay competitions, workshops, research masterclasses, seminars and capacity building programmes.

Providing essential care services and implementation in poorly accessible areas by targeting over five hundred children for the past 4 years is another area Dr. Akinde has uncommon zeal for. This young woman is an inspiration in multiple facets. In addition to the other brilliant aspects of her life, she’s got multilingual ability in fluent English, Spanish, Russian with a growing proficiency in German.

She considers it her life’s mission to improve quality of life of everyone she comes across using all of her unique abilities. This gives her inexplicable motivation and joy. Cassandra shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere in this intrview.

Childhood preparation & Parental Influence

My childhood really played a major role in my life as I was raised as a humanitarian. My parents are the biggest inspiration behind what I do now. I remember as a child I will follow my mother to church where she was always assigned one task or another for the congregation.

One event that stands fresh in my memory is the day I accompanied my mother and my brother to an orphanage for the first time as it was our turn to help out in church by bringing some relief materials for the children. I met a young girl who was suffering from cerebral palsy. Part of the activities included engaging her in pottery work. We made a very beautiful clay pot that I really admired. When she saw my wistful face, she selflessly gave it to me. I was so startled, but she insisted I keep it. She was so happy giving me that pot, that till this day I remember her happy face. This was the moment I decided that giving is more fulfilling than receiving and that is how my journey to making social impact began. I kept coming back to play, teach and engage them in various games and artworks over the years.

My dad also taught me to be selfless, innately kind and liberal whenever the opportunity arose by donating all my unused toys, clothes and sporting equipment to charity.

Meet Me

My name is Cassandra Bolanle Akinde and I am a medical doctor by profession. I am the current Team Lead of The Nigerian Child Initiative and assistant coordinator at Medglobe Volunteers. I am very passionate about Health Advocacy and the Sustainable Developmental Goals. I am also an activist for women and children. I love meeting people and expanding my network, reading, teaching, spending quality time with my family and friends, scrapbooking and I absolutely love to volunteer! On an average day when I am not at the hospital working or out volunteering, I would usually relax at home, engaging social media and watching movies. I also spend adequate time praising God for all my blessings and asking for forgiveness for my sins.

Inspiration behind TNCI

The Nigerian Child Initiative began with the simple vision of providing a platform that would create a brighter and rewarding future for children. Since its foundation by Dr Yusuf Shittu, it has become much bigger than that. It is now a large volunteer-based platform for transforming the lives of Nigerian children by improving their access to healthcare and mentorship and building the capacity of young people to be change makers and leaders. I began as a volunteer who caught the vision, committed to the vision and slowly climbed to the leadership position of overseeing the team of vibrant young people eager to make a positive change.

 Transforming Lives

With interests in Child Health promotion, Development Education and Mentorship, the team mentors children in schools and engages them with the Sustainable Development Goals and brings healthcare within the reach of children underserved and low income communities. Through our annual Essay Competition on SDGs for Secondary School students, winners are matched to mentor organisations. Since inception, we have reached up to 3,000 children with essential healthcare services including Malaria Screening, Dental Checks, Vaccination, Deworming and Essential Drugs in 5 communities across Lagos. The organisation has also educated about 5,000 children and teenagers directly on the Sustainable Developmental Goals through talk sessions in schools and at 3 Competition Grand Finales. We are also currently mentoring our 3rd cohort of 17 Global Goal Ambassadors who make us proud with their exciting social impact projects and innovations. They are each influencing other students in their schools and setting great examples for them to follow.

Work challenges

One of the major challenges was funding of course. We had difficulty getting sponsors and raising funds for our programs but with meaningful partnerships over the years the problem has been circumvented but we are always open for more opportunities.

Another challenge is that of recruiting volunteers who share the same vision ,passion and possess similar character to do what we do .A lot of  young individuals are looking at our platform as an avenue for furthering their career or adding portfolios  to their CV without actually having any passion or zeal to do any real work but just in the name only  and that can be disheartening.

Being a  Medglobe Volunteer

MEDGLOBE VOLUNTEERS is an international organization that started out of an urging desire to increase drug adherence, therapeutic outcome, decrease drug abuse and misuse; hence promoting health worldwide. We also conduct health outreaches and participate in various health campaigns and community health walks thus promoting health advocacy.

Other Projects

After working on #StopPneumonia campaign,I intend to collaborate with Dr Chioma Nwakanma  on #CheatonCervicalCancerAwarenessCampaign as this is the awareness month.

My other projects in the year will include; Neo Childcare Solutions Limited, a mobile clinic health service provider which seeks to bridge the gap of access to healthcare for  the children in remote areas. WASHED UP- Water Sanitation and Health Education against Diarrhoea, Malnutrition and Pneumonia. SkillsUpForGood – Capacity building seminar,Substance Abuse project ,Domestic Violence Docuseries

TNCI  in 5 years…

In the next  five years I see The Nigerian Child Initiative as a leading non-profit organisation  expanding across all the states in Nigeria and hopefully even across some West African countries. I see it being on the world map for the impact it is making, with a larger volunteer base who capacity has built to reach out to more children. I can also see it as a platform for transforming lives of the young people and providing employment opportunities. As for me personally, I can see myself on the board of trustees of the NGO still spreading the word about health awareness and sustainable education both locally and globally.

Health sector in Nigeria

I have been practicing for almost 3 years now and can say categorically that health system in Nigeria is quite poor. In my humble opinion, one of the biggest health challenges is inaccessibility to quality health care. The Government performance in health sector has been abysmal. Investment in infrastructure has been poor and meager remuneration for health workers has created massive brain drain to the U.S and Europe. It is such a shame that despite the huge talents of Nigerians excelling in health sectors across the world, our own health system is failing.

So, my suggested solution to this problem lies in the Nigeria’s policy makers and health professionals including the Nigerian Diaspora to come together and create a long-term blue print for the sector. This shall involve intersectoral cooperation and collaboration between different health related ministries as partnership is very key in sustainability. The blueprint will include strategies, time lines and key performance indicators to ensure success its success in the long run. Creating the blue print and making it a reality is one of the most meaningful ways in improving health care for Nigerians.

Also, as health care professionals we must think of new, cost effective and innovative ideas to solve our healthcare problems. Several Nigerian digital health start-ups like HelloCareNg and Doctoorah are already doing work in this area. After all,being tech- savvy is very imperative in this world and era.

My Inspiration

My biggest inspiration comes from God the Almighty. I also get inspiration from my parents who are the real humanitarians and my biggest cheerleaders. I also get inspired daily by women all over the world achieving success in all their endeavours despite the setbacks of their background, culture and traditions. Lastly, I would say that all the volunteers I know inspire me by their selflessness and their enthusiasm with which they diligently offer their talent and service.

Being a woman of rubies

I am a young woman who takes immense pleasure in celebrating other women around Nigeria and the world. I think it is a trend we should all adopt as one’s woman success is ours too. Women should always support women and surround themselves who will do the same. It’s a huge honour for me to to even be featured on this great platform celebrating women and their successful stories of gallant exploits. And I hope someone reading this will get inspired and in turn inspire others .

 

 

 

 

 

 

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VITAMIN B COMPLEX: THE LIFE SAVING VITAMIN

Some years back, I woke up one morning with an excruciating pain in my right hand and wrist. The pain was so much that I had to seek medical help. When the diagnosis came, they called  it carpal tunnel syndrome; it’s also called pinched nerve
I was expecting to be given a jaw-breaking named drug but alas, I was given a drug called neurovit  forte and the components are vitamins B1, B6 and B12!  So as usual, I discussed the condition with my father. Yes, I always discuss things like this with him because he is the real scientist (a professor of Botany) while I am an English language graduate – a self-taught scientist.
He had a story to tell me too! He told me about a family friend of ours whose daughter suffered paralysis and after a series of tests, it was discovered that she lacked one of the B vitamins!  She was given doses of the particular B vitamin, and she recovered!
So, I said to myself: what’s so special about this vitamin B complex? .  Ok, let’s go on the journey together to unravel  the mystery behind this vitamin that keeps our body going well like a well-oiled machine.
B vitamins play a vital role in maintaining good health and well-being. As the building blocks of a healthy body, B vitamins have a direct impact on your energy levels, brain function and cell metabolism.
B vitamins are water-soluble, which means your body does not store them. They are excreted from the body daily and for this reason, your diet must supply them each day.
Most people get the recommended amounts of these vitamins through diet alone since they are found in a wide variety of foods. However, factors like age, pregnancy, dietary choices, medical conditions, genetics, medication and alcohol use increase the body’s demand for B vitamins.
The B vitamin family is made up of eight B vitamins, they are:
B1 (Thiamine)
B1 helps the body make healthy new cells. It’s often called an anti-stress vitamin because of its ability to protect the immune system. This vitamin is necessary to help break down  simple carbohydrates.
Get it from: Whole grains, peanuts, beans, spinach, kale, blackstrap molasses and wheat germ
B2 (Riboflavin)
This B vitamin works as an antioxidant to help fight free radicals (particles in the body that damage cells). It may also prevent early aging and the development of heart disease. Also, riboflavin is important for red blood cell production, which is necessary for transporting oxygen throughout the body. Several studies suggest B2 can help stave off migraines, but more research is needed to be sure. Be careful, while sunlight does the body good, ultraviolet light reduces the riboflavin content in food sources.
Get it from: Almonds, wild rice, milk, yogurt, eggs, Brussels sprouts, spinach and soybeans
B3 (Niacin)
One of the primary uses for niacin is to boost HDL cholesterol (i.e. the good cholesterol). And the higher a person’s HDL, the less bad cholesterol they will have in their blood. Vitamin B3 deficiency is very rare in developed countries, though alcoholism has been shown to lower B3 levels in some individuals. Niacin, used topically and ingested, has also been found to treat acne.
Get it from: Yeast, red meat, milk, eggs, beans and green vegetables
B5 (Pantothenic Acid)
You can find small amounts of vitamin B5 in just about every food group — its name even says so. Pantothenic comes from the Greek word pantothen, meaning “from everywhere.” In addition to breaking down fats and carbs for energy, it’s responsible for the production of sex and stress-related hormones including testosterone. Studies show B5 also promotes healthy skin with the ability to reduce signs of skin aging such as redness and skin spots.
Get it from: Avocados, yogurt, eggs, meat and legumes
B6 (Pyridoxine)
Along with fellow B vitamins 12 and 9, B6 helps regulate levels of the amino acid homocysteine (associated with heart disease). Pyridoxine is a major player in mood and sleep patterns because it helps the body produce serotonin, melatonin and norepinephrine, a stress hormone. Some studies suggest vitamin B6 can reduce inflammation for people with conditions like rheumatioid arthritis.
Get it from: Chicken, turkey, tuna, salmon, lentils, sunflower seeds, cheese, brown rice and carrots
B7 (Biotin)
Because of its association with healthy hair, skin and nails, this B vitamin also goes by “the beauty vitamin.” It may help people with diabetes control high blood glucose levels too.
Get it from: Barley, liver, yeast, pork, chicken, fish, potatoes, cauliflower, egg yolks and nuts.
B9  (Folate)
You may have heard another name for B9 — folic acid — which is the synthetic form used in supplements and fortified foods like cereal and bread. Studies suggest folate may help keep depression at bay and prevent memory loss. This vitamin is also especially important for women who are pregnant since it supports the growth of the baby and prevents neurological birth defects.
Get it from: Dark leafy greens, asparagus, beets, salmon, root vegetables, milk, bulgur wheat and beans
B12 (Cobalamin)
This B vitamin is a total team player. Cobalamin works with vitamin B9  to produce red blood cells and help iron do its job: create the oxygen carrying protein, hemoglobin. Because you can only find vitamin B12  in animal and no plant products, vegans must use a supplement or fortified foods for B12 intake or risk serious health consequences
Get it from: Fish, shellfish, dairy, eggs, beef and pork.
I have always supported nutrition to achieve optimal health. If you will need supplementation of vitamin B complex, your doctor is in the best position to say that.
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OMONI OBOLI SHARES SECRET TO HER FLAT TUMMY AND TRIM FIGURE

Nollywood actress/producer and mother of three handsome boys, Omoni Oboli has shared secret tips on how she has managed to maintain flat abs and a toned body.

She revealed that she didn’t snap back to her slim figure immediately after the birth of her boys but had to work hard to get her figure back.

So, she shared the secrets to her flat abs, noting that they were the things she did over the years.

Read her post below:

My secret to flat abs:
I did a smoothie only diet for 4 days and lost some weight and my stomach got a lot flatter in the process. Following that, for now, I have just one meal a day around lunch time. I have my tea and smoothie for breakfast, I can either have smoothie again for dinner or just have some carrots or apples with a handful of nuts.
These are some of the things I have done over the years to get back my pre child bearing abs…
The first thing is discipline!

1: First thing I drink when I wake up in the morning is a glass of warm water with lemon. (I always squeeze the juice of my lemon in my tea or water before throwing it in. Who else does that? 🤣)

2: My green tea: I have my green tea every morning. I squeeze in some lemon or lime, add 2 spoonfuls of Apple cider vinegar (with the mother in it) and some ginger juice. You can add some honey (honey is actually beneficial to the body)

3: I don’t eat as much carbs as a lot if you think I do. The people around me will testify to that. There are times that I am bad and I go on a carbs spree but I caution myself early and make restitutions.

4: I try never to eat carbs at night. Carbs make you bloat in the morning so stay away from them at night. Long and continuous consumption of carbs at night will lead to an extended stomach.

5: I use vegetables and some nut flours to make swallow. (I like my soups and I don’t like just licking them) So I make almond swallow, cauliflower, cabbage, egg plant or even carrot swallow. See next post for video on how to make one of them.

6: I drink lots of water and fresh juices. Carrot juice is particularly good for the skin. I mix it with ginger and celery (most times).

7: I drink other types of tea during the day apart from green tea. Some of my favorites are mint, rooibos tea and camomile at night.

8: Exercise is very important not just for weight loss but for your health and general well being so don’t forget to exercise but 80% of weight loss or staying trim is done in your kitchen!

I would tell you the benefits of these foods and drinks I take but the post will be too long so google is your friend 😉
I will share more tips with you another time.
You’re welcome 🙏

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EZIAHA BOLAJI-OLOJO: TO THE DOMESTIC QUEEN WITHOUT DOMESTIC HELP

First of all, how do you like the name, Domestic Queen? I love it. I think it is an absolute upgrade from stay-at-home mom, which was a very welcome upgrade from housewife. Thank goodness.

Whatever name you prefer though, running the home is a full-time job and I personally believe that it is ideal to have a domestic help, whether ‘live-in’ or ‘come and go’.

Today, I am writing for moms who for one reason or the other don’t have either of these two kinds of help.

How are you coping?

Well, I am currently in the throes of running my home without a help, while simultaneously running my home-based business and other streams that flow out of me. This gig is hard, I won’t even try to sugarcoat it. It was a lot easier when I had a help; but for valid reasons, I decided against getting another after she left.

It was clear I needed help, so I refined the kind of help I needed. Some of it unconventional, but because we know it takes a village to raise a child, (and maybe a clan to run a home), I still found ‘help’ that worked for me and my family. All unconventional, but they work.

School
First, with both my kids at school between 7am and 3pm, I consider school the first help that I have. Yes, they are helping me educate my kids, but they are also by extension, freeing up time for me to get my acts together and make those eight hours count.

What this means is that for any mom in these shoes, you must become a better time manager – any personal or official work not completed in those hours would have to be rolled over to the next day. Children demand and spell love as A-T-T-E-N-T-I-O-N.

Cleaner
The next help I got was a cleaning lady to come in once or twice a week to do laundry and general spring cleaning. With that amount of cleaning done, all I need do is maintain it upward from there, so that the house remains in a fairly clean state before she comes again.

Home Appliances
The third kind of help you can get would be home appliances that would make life easy for you. Personally, I needed just two things: a washing machine and a deep freezer. The washing machine would take laundry out of my to-do list, and a freezer meant I could cook and store in bulk, so there would be no need to cook daily. I don’t know what kind of appliance would help you, but it may be worth saving and making adjustments to your budget to get it.

Siesta
Absurd as this one may sound, I consider siesta (even if for forty-five minutes to an hour) a kind of help. Once the after-school activities of bathing, dressing, eating, doing homework/house chores and playing are over, the home most likely would be in a messy state. Insisting on siesta would allow you some time to clean up before dinner time and your husband gets home. Granted, you would not be able to guarantee a clean home every single time he gets home, but don’t let your home look like it just escaped a hurricane. A clean home is great for sanity and productivity, so ‘get help’ and let your kids observe siesta – even if all they do is sit and stare in their rooms.

Friends and family
Since we cannot exhaust all the possibilities of unconventional domestic help, I would like to end with this one which I consider very important and that is friends and family. Oh, please enlist their help. You have not because you have not been an ‘asker’. Sadly, most of us are too shy or make very wrong assumptions and so miss out on amazing help. Ask that single friend to help you run errands; or better still, if she can come over to mind your kids while you go run errands, enjoy some me-time or date night with your husband. Take the kids to their grandparents or family members some weekends if they live close and it is an option. Ask someone from your local church to come babysit while you catch a few hours of sleep.

Don’t assume everyone is busy and no one would have time to help. It would surprise you to know that some people are waiting for you to ask as they don’t want to be too forward. So, go ahead and ask, and don’t give up because the first two people declined. Try other people. You can even take your kids to a friend who has Domestic help and have them mind your kid while you get some much-needed R&R (Rest and relaxation).

Whatever you decide, make sure that you are being responsible as you delegate responsibilities for the care of your child(ren) in those hours.

So, dear Domestic Queen without Domestic Help, find your unconventional help and rock out your life and season.

About Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo

Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo (CoachE’) is a Food and Fitness Coach and CEO at CoachE’Squad Ltd, a thriving home-based business where she serves Jesus and Fitness to the world. Asides helping women live optimized lives through a healthy food and fitness routine, she runs a personal Faith-based blog www.eziaha.com where she chronicles her Christian walk, and holds regular meetings called POWWOW with E’ for Stay at home moms.

She is a First-Class Graduate of Sociology, holds a UK degree in Personal Nutrition and a Pre-natal and Postnatal Fitness Specialist Certification endorsed by the American Fitness Professionals Association (AFPA). She is also an Alumnus of Daystar Leadership Academy (DLA). Above all these, she is a proud wife and mom to two boys and takes that assignment very seriously. She is a product of many teachers and mentors, constantly going for knowledge, regularly pours into mentoring younger folks, loves stir-fry eggs and home-made zobo, and is a proud member of Daystar Christian Centre.

Eziaha can be found on Instagram @stayhomemoms.ng and on Twitter as @eziahaa, and you can email her on eziaha@eziaha.com

 

Source: Bella Naija

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OVER 20,000 NIGERIAN GIRLS TRAFFICKED TO MALI ARE BEEN KEPT IN THICK FORESTS

Nigeria’s anti-trafficking agency said it has found thousands of missing girls and women in southern Mali, many of whom were sold as sex slaves.

According to the agency, NAPTIP, there are between 20,000 and 45,000 kidnapped Nigerian women in Mali it intends to return to Nigeria.

General Julie Okah-Donli, NAPTIP Director, said the women mostly came from rural areas of six different states in Nigeria.

“They were tricked into going to Mali by giving them the impression they were going to get jobs in hotels, for example,” Okah-Donli told Al Jazeera.

“Some were actually abducted while going to school.

“There are over one million Nigerian residents in Mali, out of which about 20,000 are trapped into forced prostitution. The conditions are horrible. They are kept in the thick of the forest where they cannot escape and with the ‘madames’ watching over them.”

According to a 2018 report by the US State Department, human trafficking is a major problem in Africa’s most populous country.

Nigerian victims of human trafficking were found in about 40 different countries, the report stated, adding that “80 percent of all female Nigerian migrants in Italy are or will become sex workers.

 

Culled from Al Jazeera

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YOUNG WOMAN SHARES STORY OF HOW HER COUSIN STARTED RAPING HER AT THE AGE OF ELEVEN AND HER FATHER REFUSED TO LISTEN TO HER

My step cousin was caught attempting to rape his uncle’s girlfriend’s daughter. My father + step mom decided to bring him into our home thinking a new environment would change him. He raped me every day after school my 6th grade year. They trusted him alone with me.

I told my father about a year and a half ago.. his response? “yea, okay, blame me for something I had zero knowledge of.”

My father was a pastor and my step cousin was a deacon in training. Being that I was a PK and sat up front,I would end up having to hold hands with him during alter call. I’d look over at him and he would smile. I cried during the rapes and he would laugh.

My step cousin was only in 8th grade by the way. This wasn’t a grown man. This was an 8th grade boy with a big full of scare tactics that would shove church bulletins down my throat while raping me in the church floor.

My step cousin and I rode the same school bus. One day, he ran to the door unlocked it and locked me out of the house in the rain. I stood there begging for him to let me in. He let me in when I promised to let him rape me.

When he unlocked the door I ran in as fast as I could and ran to my room. The only reason why his plan that day was messed up was because my step sister and his sister came home from school.

I told my ex step mother what happened around the same time that I told my father what happened. She apologized from the depths of her heart and let me know that if I need any help with anything paying for counseling or ever needed to talk that she was there.

I recently told my aunt who acted as a mother while growing up. While telling he, her jaw was on the floor and her eyes filled with tears. The next day, she told me that she cried herself to sleep and had nothing but nightmares. She said that she blames herself…

She said that she wish she would’ve known. She expressed her deepest sympathies for my pain. She did not blame me. She did not fuss. She understood. She loved me. She asked me if I needed any help, mentally. That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.

My aunt asked me if I had healed from it. She expressed to me that if I had not healed from it she would do everything in her power to help me heal. She has supported me and loved me even more ever since I told her what I went through.

She said “sometimes when women go through these things it takes them a long time to digest the pain that is heavy on their soul. I am glad that you felt safe enough to open up me. I love you more than you will ever know. Want some waffles?”

My aunt stood in as a mom for me, but only when my father would allow her to. She wanted custody of me growing up. However she did not know everything that I was going through.

I cried about it in the beginning,but then I became numb. So, I buried myself in my music. I was a choir geek. I cried using my voice. Every solo I had, I cried through my music. Music kept me sane and ultimately saved my life.

Why would I tell my father about my sexual assault when a year prior I told him I wanted to kill myself. I had recently lost both grand parents a month apart from each other & was being picked on by my 5th grade teacher. His response was ..

“Get the fuck up out my face with that stupid shit!! Don’t you ever come to me with no stupid shit like that again. You wanna kill yourself? I kill you if you come to me with some bullshit like that again. Get the hell up out my face.”

Why would I tell anyone else when my father used to tell me all the time “Don’t nobody care about your damn feelings. You don’t have feelings till you pay some damn bills”

I’m fully healed from my childhood. I just wanted y’all to see wtf goes on in the black RELIGIOUS community. They shame the women and feed the monsters.

 

Source: woman.ng

Photo credit: shutterstock.com

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ENTREPRENEUR CREATES DOLL COLLECTION TO HELP BLACK GIRLS OVERCOME DEPRESSION

TiffanyJ, an artist and entrepreneur, suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts when she was young. So, in hopes of helping young Black girls that are battling depression, she has created an avenue to boost their confidence and self-esteem through a new superhero doll called “Super Beauty”.

At 12-years old, TiffanyJ started to experience depression that is considered common to young Black girls. At 14-years old, she realized that she can share her feelings through songwriting. But by the age of 24, she became self-employed and became the author of her first published book titled It All Starts With Me: An Interactive Guide To Discovering Self and Loving.

Through her book, she shared her own experiences and gave some advice to those who have been battling depression like how she used to be. She also held an annual Beauty, You Are Boot Camp. It was such a great advocacy and she saw that she can do more to reach more.

“For a while, I had been on a mission with self-esteem advocacy, but that book did not reach the audience and mentees I had that were young girls,” she told Black Enterprise.

Now, she has created Super Beauty Pep Talker, a speaking doll that says positive and inspiring messages such as “Nobody Do Me Better Than Me.” She hopes to let young Black girls know that they are unique and beautiful.

TiffanyJ hopes to sell the Super Beauty Pep Talker in Wal-Mart and other retail store chains.

 

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