Parenting - Women of Rubies

In Career Gems September 14, 2023 By Women of Rubies

11 Ways Parents Can Help Children Do Better In School

Do you dream of your children shining in school? Do you want your kids to do better with schoolwork?

You can do your share in helping your children improve their academic performance. Here are some tips you can implement to increase the chances of success in school.

Remember that miracles don’t happen overnight. You have to be patient and wait to get results after implementing these tips.

• Make them Realize they have to Learn

Children are very likely to learn something new quite easily if it matches their interests. It is totally another story to make your child take a keen interest in a subject he has no liking for.

Let your child know that it is his job to learn everything taught in school — even the uninteresting bits. Share your own experience if that will help.

• Keep Your Expectations High

You don’t have to be super ambitious when it comes to setting targets for your children. However, children tend to perform better at school if parental expectations are reasonably high. In simple words, your child will not do well if you don’t expect her to do well.

• Recognize the Difference between Learning and Studying

There is a stark difference between studying a lesson and learning a lesson. You must be able to recognize this difference if you want better results from your children at school. It is important for children to learn the lesson rather than just studying it.

Test their knowledge by asking questions about a certain lesson on regular occasions. Ask them in such a way that it tests their critical thinking on the lessons at hand. It is important for children to understand that school is merely preparation for real life and real careers in the future.

• Create Proper Learning Environment at Home

A lot has been written about providing your children with a proper learning environment at home. Still, not many parents manage to accomplish this very important task.

You must provide your children with all the necessary facilities to succeed. There should be a study desk, chair and adequate lighting for every child. Similarly, all the school supplies such as pencils, paper, pens, computers, calculators and compasses should be available in abundance. Most importantly, there should be a quiet place in the home for children to study.

• Visit Your Children’s School Often

It is important for you to fully know the physical layout of your child’s school building and the grounds. It will enable you to mentally connect with your children when you ask about their day at school.

Similarly, you must meet their teachers regularly. You should never miss a parent and teachers meeting. It is also imperative to regularly check the school’s website for things like staff’s contact information, school calendar, upcoming events and testing dates.

All these things will help you remain informed about your children’s activities as well as their learning needs and potential.

• Encourage Healthy Habits

The performance of your children at school largely depends on their health as well. Developing good habits at home means they are increasing their chances of excelling.

For instance, your children must have a healthy breakfast in the morning. They should go to bed early so they can have plenty of sleep. Ensure that they don’t spend much time in front of the TV or computer as well.

• Develop a Routine

Helping children organize themselves through a daily routine is also a very good habit to teach. Remember most kids thrive in set routines and structures.

For example, you can ask your children to make their beds, get dressed and take breakfast while you prepare their lunch. You can develop many routines at home but their purpose should be same — helping your children do well in life.

• Let Your Children Solve their Own Problems

Your children must try their level best to solve their own problems before coming to you for help. You deprive the child of an opportunity to solve a problem every time you resolve issues for him. On the other hand, a child who has made all efforts to find the answer but has not succeeded deserves all of your help.

• Have them Do More than Required

Students will learn and retain more if they practice regularly. Have your children practice more than actually required.

For example, ask them to solve more practice problems in addition to those in the teacher’s assignments. You must inspire them to go above and beyond their normal routine to achieve success at school and in life.

• Learning should Continue in all Seasons

Every year, children enjoy three months of summer vacation. However, they should not take a break from learning during these months.

In fact, summer is a good time to learn something new which schools usually don’t teach their students. It is also a good time to revise what your children have learned in the school.

Similarly, your children have all the time to develop new intellectual skills. They have the time to go to libraries and read good books on different topics.

• Set a Good Example

Last but not the least, you must set a good example for your children. Teach them by example that learning continues throughout life and does not stop when you leave school.

Let your children learn from your behaviors when it comes to performing your job and household duties. If you have bad habits yourself, you cannot expect your children to develop good ones. They always tend to follow the path of their parents, making it extremely important for you to be a good example for them.

Conclusion

These are some of the many ways you can help your children shine at school. Keep in mind that not all children are equally capable physically as well as mentally. They have different learning requirements and needs and you must meet all these needs to help them give a good account of themselves in studies.

In Interviews&profile September 18, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Kimberly Jolasun: The Founder Who Helped Black Moms Raise $1 Million for Their Babies’ Needs

Kimberly Jolasun, the exceptional inventor of Villie.com, is celebrating the platform’s outstanding accomplishment in assisting numerous Black mothers all across the United States establish online fundraisers to support their baby’s needs in an era where connectivity is crucial. With a total fundraising effort of more than $1 million so far, Villie has proven itself as a pioneering destination for expectant and new parents.

A Digital Village for Moms Across the Country

Headquartered in Atlanta, Villie.com is redefining the way expecting and new parents connect, raise funds, receive gifts, and unite their village in the digital era. The platform is dedicated to simplifying the process of receiving support and offers a range of tools designed to empower parents to effortlessly engage their community. It creates personalized websites where the shared journey of parenthood is not only embraced but celebrated.

Kimberly Jolasun, the driving force behind Villie.com, shares her vision: “We believe that no parent should have to navigate parenthood alone, and our mission at Villie.com is to empower every family to get support from their village with ease.”

Supporting Black Moms in a Critical Time

The United States is witnessing a concerning rise in maternal mortality rates, particularly among Black women. The disparity is alarming, with Black women experiencing a maternal mortality rate more than double the national average and nearly three times higher than that of white women, irrespective of income.

Villie.com is on a mission to bridge this gap by bringing communities together and providing unwavering support to mothers throughout their pregnancy, birth, and beyond. With over $1 million raised for Black moms, Villie continues to expand its reach as word spreads about its vital mission. The platform recognizes that every mom’s definition of support is unique and continually develops features and functions to cater to these diverse needs.

Cultural Inspiration and Community Values

Villie.com draws inspiration from the rich tapestry of West African traditions, where community support is a cornerstone of the parenting experience. Kimberly Jolasun’s personal experiences have driven her to develop a platform that embodies the support families provide to new parents.

Kimberly emphasizes, “Villie is here to bridge the geographical gaps, reconnecting families and friends in an immersive digital village where each shared moment becomes a cherished memory.”

Parenting in the Digital Age

As a tech startup, Villie.com has garnered support from venture capital investors like Fearless Fund, XRC Ventures, and TxO by a16z. This support is especially crucial, given the challenges faced by women of color in accessing venture capital funding. Villie’s team is a diverse mix of ethnicities, including mothers and fathers of young children under five, who deeply understand the issues that need addressing.

The platform seamlessly combines tradition with technology, even incorporating the use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) to enhance the user experience. Kimberly notes, “It’s pretty incredible to see that for most parents, our tools are their first experience with AI.” Villie offers an empowering experience that enables parents to cultivate a supportive village during the most significant chapters of their lives.

Join the Village at Villie.com

For those interested in joining this digital village of support and empowerment, visit Villie.com to discover more about the platform and sign up. Villie.com is not just revolutionizing the way Black moms connect and receive support; it’s rewriting the narrative of community, care, and connection in the digital age.

In Inspiration February 20, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Esther Ijewere: Dear Single Parents, Healing Is Your Responsibility

Dear single parents,

I understand the pain of doing it alone with no support system. I know it hurts when you think about the sacrifices, and you feel life is not fair.

Believe me, I also have those moments. When I say I understand, I truly mean it.

However, you must understand that while trauma isn’t your fault, healing is your responsibility.

You can’t heal from pain If you continuously visit old wounds or give life to topics that put you in a “dramatic” position where you entertain the public with your private matters. You will end up looking like the problem you are trying to solve.

One thing I have done to protect my energy and peace since I became a single parent is to stay away from things, people, and places that trigger any old wound I’m trying to heal from

The Power of Healing

Healing is an art.

It takes time, it takes practice, discipline, and self-love.

I also learned that healing is in phases, and the more inner work you do, the more things came to the surface.

Instead of explaining myself to folks who have not walked a mile in my shoes, I focused on my healing journey, prayer, and affirmations.

Also Read: Before You Judge Another Single Mom

Healing affirmations for tra.u.ma is one of the tips I shared in my soon-to-be-released self-help book. If you would like to have a copy, kindly click here to join the waitlist. I also shared some techniques I used over the years to stay grounded and focused, even when I was gaslighted.

It’s not easy really, but once you learn to forgive yourself, you have the power to control your emotions and your impulse.

Read Also: 5 Dating Tips for Single Moms

You will know who or what deserves a response or reaction and avoid drama.

I also realized that what some saw as my inadequacies ( single parent status), others appreciated as my strength. I focused on the latter.

Watch: 5 Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is how to silence the mind and be discerning.

Sending love, light, and good vibes to single parents who are trying to heal from pain.

Remember, healing is your responsibility.

signed,

A single mom doing it alone.

Connect with me on social media for more inspiring content

Follow me on: Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube

Subscribe to my mailing list here

In Career Gems January 17, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Model Ajuzie: Signs That You May Be A Toxic Parent

Parenting has no module but there are significant signs that you as a parent ignore or overlook but it only makes you a toxic parent.

Building a healthy relationship with your child is as important and sending them to acquire formal education. To some parents they call strict discipline but in the actual sense they are creating an invisible dangerous wall between them and their kid(s)

Here are signs that you may be having a toxic relationship with your child.

1. Not being you

Kids tend to confide in someone who show them love, listen to them without judging and allows them express their feelings and thought. As a parent if your child gets all these from a stranger, then you really need to re-evaluate their stances.

Knowing the level of menace and harm going on in today’s society, parents should try to build that trust and earn their confidence that way they will be the first to hear and know if there be any form of threat or danger to their wellbeing.

Also your relationship with your child should be one in which they can have access to discussing all which includes their academics or even social life. Make them understand your principles but still be that friend that they can depend on always

2. Your absence is irrelevant

It is a known fact that kids want to be around those who they see always and gives them that attention they crave for. To kids communication means alot and thanks to technology that has bridged the gap so parents who are far should take advantage of this. Your opinion of them understanding your tight schedule may not be totally acceptable to them.

3. Comparing them with others

Every child is unique and no child is the same. Parents who use abusive words or deteriorating words produce kids with low self esteem. Every child has his own potentials and should be allowed to manifest with proper guidance and not forced into competing with his mate. Help build their self confidence and encourage them in both their win and loss. Celebrate their efforts and never limit their dreams and aspiration.

4.Limiting them to a particular ideology

Train a child in a way that when he grows he should be able to differentiate good from bad. He should be allowed to make certain decisions without re straying him as long as it brings no harm to him. Enforcing any form of especially when they are of age to make choices makes you a toxic parent. Allow them express their freedom of choice and when they make mistake, correct them in love without talking down their self confidence.

And finally be a role model to your child. It makes the work easier and they directly and directly pick up certain traits that shapes their being. Match your words with godly character and see the beauty in parenting. Also never forget that no child is the same with the other and every child is special in his ways.

In lifestyle February 7, 2021 By Women of Rubies

Temi Olajide: How To Help Your Kids Stop Fighting & Get Along Better

Siblings bickering and arguing can be frustrating and mentally exhausting for parents. Although disagreements between siblings may drive parents crazy, it teaches our kids how to deal with and resolve conflict at an early age. This will, in turn, help them handle conflicts in relationships outside of their immediate family as they become adults. Nevertheless, when it seems like your children can’t get along even for a minute, then you can try these tips:

Look after each child’s needs

Children feel valued if you make it clear that it’s not okay for younger children to mess up older children’s activities, and vice versa. Also, take time out to bond individually with each child, and, most importantly, try not to compare children with each other.

Praise their good behaviour

Notice and give positive feedback to your kids when they’re well behaved. When you tell children clearly and specifically what they’re doing well, you’re likely to see more of that behaviour.

Show children how to get along

You are your children’s number one role model. Your children will notice if you iron out differences without fighting. If you would like your children to figure things out calmly and respectfully, they have to see you doing this. If you would like them to be ready to apologize to others, they have to see you apologising too.

Coach your children

You are your children’s problem-solving coach. You should teach them the way to handle disagreements and guide them toward skills for managing angry feelings, negotiating, and playing fair. This is much better than having to step in when they’re brewing or even worse, being a referee who breaks up fights.

You can also try these tips whenever they start fighting:

Hold hands

Whenever you notice your kids fighting, call them to sit together and hold hands till they solve their issues. Before you know it, they’ll laugh and forget that they were fighting.

T-shirt co-operation

The idea is that you simply have an extra-large men’s t-shirt that the kids must wear together until they stop bickering. Older kids can even be made to do chores while crammed within the t-shirt together. While the shirt is on, speak to them about how things work better once they agree to work together (trust me, if they need to try to do anything while wearing one shirt, they have no choice but to work together.)

Job bottle

Think of about a dozen chores. Write them on small strips of paper. Laminate them or cover with tape so that it can’t get mangled. Explain to your kids that each time a fight breaks out they all have to pick a job out from the job bottle. They don’t get to choose, they only grab one. When the squabbling starts, just calmly say, “job bottle.”

Hug it out

One time, I made my kids hug and told them they had to continue to hug each other until they stopped being mad at one another. I found them laughing at their situation because they were physically locked together. After that, ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m sorry’ would follow.

Give them a problem to solve together

You can try giving your kids a puzzle to solve together to stop them from arguing. When they finish that, give them a harder one. Solving puzzles together encourages them to get along, rely on each other, and help one another.

Finally, it may help to remember that a certain amount of bickering and fighting is normal and even healthy in your children’s relationships with each other. Try some of these ideas and see if one works for you.

Remember, consistency is key. When you find a solution that works for your kids, continue with it. I’m confident that you’ll see a marked improvement in how your children get along.

Do you have any tips to ensure your kids get along? Feel free to share.

In self development July 12, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Temi Olajide: How to Help Your Children Through Difficult Situations

Often times, children (especially the younger ones) may not have the ability to verbalize their feelings. As a parent, it is your duty to observe them carefully for any signs of stress. Stress symptoms may be long or short – it all depends on the severity of the situation.

As a parent, you would have gone through one difficult situation or the other – but when it comes to your kids, you sometimes might not have an idea on how to help them cope with difficult circumstances.

Life will always have its ups and downs and the earlier kids know how to cope in these kinds of situations, the better for them. The first thing to do when something negative happens is to answer their questions – this helps them understand what’s happening and teach them how to cope in the future.

Often times, children (especially the younger ones) may not have the ability to verbalize their feelings. As a parent, it is your duty to observe them carefully for any signs of stress. Stress symptoms may be long or short – it all depends on the severity of the situation.

Stress symptoms may include one or a combination of the following:

There may be changes in eating, sleeping, or bathroom habits
Children may experience increased separation anxiety
They may experience bad dreams
Crying spells
Kids may become withdrawn
Increased aggressive behavior or unnecessary tantrums

How can you help your children cope with stress? Here’s what you can do:

Encourage kids to express their feelings. Allow them to express whatever it is they’re experiencing and let them know it is okay to feel the way they do.
Ensure that they follow routines as much as possible. In addition, ensure they eat healthy meals and rest adequately.
For older kids, allow them read books that’ll teach them about characters in stressful situations – they will learn how to cope.
Encourage your kids to exercise. Simple exercises such as dancing, walking and swimming can help reduce the effect of stress.

If a child isn’t adjusted properly and is still showing signs of stress after a long period of time, it is in the best interest of the child that you seek professional advice immediately.

Helping Children Deal with Traumatic Events

In traumatic situations, children often react in different ways, depending on their personality. While some continue as though nothing happened, some may experience sadness or worse still, depression. If your child is experiencing difficulty, it is important that they are provided with the love and stability to help them process and overcome the situation.

Here are some guidelines to help you:

Answer children’s questions

The aftermath of an accident or dramatic incident may leave children with a lot of questions. Just like us, kids also need their feelings acknowledged, as well as an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Also, ensure that your explanation of the event matches the child’s developmental understanding.

Reassure them as much as you can

Physical contact such as holding and hugging not only reassures your little one, it’s also a great way to help your child feel safe. In addition, you can help the child feel better about the situation and provide comfort without giving wrong information or false hopes. For example, saying “I am sure everything is going to be fine” will help to put your child’s mind to rest.

Remain observant

Ensure that you keep a watchful eye on your child even as their thoughts and feelings about the situation evolves. Listen to them, ask questions and continue to reassure them as much as you can. Most importantly, give them the opportunity to express themselves.

Remember that life comes with its challenges and it’s your duty as a parent to teach and show your child(ren) how to go through life by handling these difficult situations positively.

In self development July 12, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Temi Olajide: How Do You Keep Your Children Engaged While You’re Working From Home?

Balancing children and a full-fledged workload is not a walk in the park, especially during this period. It’s okay to occasionally treat yourself now and then to your favorite meal or a movie for your efforts. Most importantly, enjoy the process as you get to spend more time with the people that mean the most to you!

With schools closed around the country and most companies opting for remote work, keeping your kids engaged while you work can be a daunting experience. For many parents, it’s a healthy mix of chaos, family time, stress, fighting, and bargaining with their partner on who will take which shift so the other can get some work done.

Although it won’t be easy in this period, this can also be an amazing time to bond with your kids and get to know them better. Most importantly, go easy on yourself. There’s no doubt this time is impossibly difficult, so doing your best is the best decision for everyone.

Here a few ways to keep your children engaged while you work from home:

Create a schedule

I know you’re probably tired of hearing this but the truth is that kids do best when they have a structure, so creating a daily schedule will make it easier for them to stay focused as well as hopefully provide periods of productivity for you too.

Schedule your work-time to align with the activities you plan for them. You can plan your zoom meeting and calls at the same time with their screen time, that way they will be too engrossed in what they are watching to disturb your meeting.

Also be sure to schedule ‘in time’, in which you are part of their day as well, for example, 12 pm -1 pm can be board games or lunch break with mummy. Your children will have something to look forward to each day and the mental break will be good for you, especially when you are dealing with a stressful situation at work.

Take your lead from the teachers

Most schools have introduced virtual classes as a means to make up for the lost time. You can take a look at your child’s scheduled classes for the week, this will help in knowing when they will be in class and when to schedule other activities to keep them busy while you work.

Create projects

You can create fun age-appropriate projects that will keep your kids engaged and entertained. Go to YouTube to check for age-appropriate DIY videos for your kids. An example can be building a city with cardboard boxes, pillows and blankets, and so on. Toymaking, art, and craft, or even painting projects. The good thing about this is that it not only keeps your kids busy, it helps in stimulating their minds, enhancing their motor skills and creativity.

If you can, plan the night before

Some days, you may just want to go to bed after a long day. That’s normal and perfectly fine. But if you can, try to plan the next day’s itinerary before you sleep. This is very important especially if you have an early morning meeting the next day. It’ll ensure your kids are happy and occupied, and not throwing a tantrum during that video conference with your CEO.

Spend time outside, if you can

If you live in a house with a big garden or backyard, allow your kids to go out and play. Vitamin D is great for our overall health, and going outside even for a few minutes each day gives children the space they need to roam. If your kids aren’t up to the age where they can play without supervision, you can take your laptop outside so you can keep a watchful eye on them.

Write letters to teachers, friends or grandparents

You can keep your kids busy by channeling your son or daughter’s creativity toward letter writing or picture drawing. Let them write a letter to their friends in school or to their teacher or even to their grandparents while you get some work done. Not only will your child learn a lesson in compassion, but your relative will also receive a nice surprise to lift their spirits.

Assign ‘work’ to your kids

For the foreseeable future, when your kids ask you what you’re doing, you’ll likely say “working”. This word doesn’t always make sense to them, so a way to teach them is to assign tasks to them. Give them puzzles to finish, LEGO lands to build, separate the bean seeds from the shaft, arrange the throw pillows in the sitting room. You can set a timer for an hour so they can work and then ask them to prepare a presentation afterward to show off their work.

Dance videos

Most kids can operate tablets and phones from younger ages. Set your child up with some music (that isn’t too loud to disturb your work), show them how to make a video (if they don’t already know how), provide props or dress-up clothes and have them take dance videos (or other silly videos) that they can share with you.

Designate an area for your ‘home office’

It is important to have a designated area (preferably a spare room) that will enable you to organize your files, stay on task, and minimize interruptions. Let your kids also know that this is mummy’s work area and teach them not to come to the work area while you’re working. It is important to follow a schedule even while working so if you work 9 -5, try to keep it at that with short breaks in between to check on the kids.

Balancing children and a full-fledged workload is not a walk in the park, especially during this period. It’s okay to occasionally treat yourself now and then to your favorite meal or a movie for your efforts. Most importantly, enjoy the process as you get to spend more time with the people that mean the most to you!

Have any tips to keep your kids busy while you work from home? Feel free to share.

In self development March 22, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Ijeoma Thomas-Odia: How to Help your kids boost their immunity

With the deadly Lassa and Coronaviruses currently in the country, there is need to ensure that our children’s immune system are in good shape. For children; their immune systems are just like an antivirus warning message; it’s needs an update every so often, says Ifeyinwa Omesiete, a Pediatric nutrition consultant based in Lagos.

Mostly because children are explorers and are more susceptible to many illnesses as their immune system isn’t strong enough to fight a lot of infections. Between the ages of zero to six years, the average child would have had over 20 different cold/viral infection cases (this is excluding bacterial infections). This number may seem alarming but it’s expected and that is why building their immune system needs to be at the top of every parents to-do list.

According to Omesiete, there are three major but simple ways to boost the immunity of any child. They may seem ordinary but with consistency; they have proven to be very effective.

Water Intake: From the first day of life, every child is exposed to fluids; be it breast milk or formula. The reason is mainly because the body is made up of at least 70 per cent of water, you should also ensure proper circulation of blood and nutrients; the body’s water content needs to be maintained. Between six months to a year, the minimum water intake should be 250-500ml daily. Between one to two years, every child should consume at least 750ml of water. Ages two to four years, at least a liter of water, and from four years upwards, at least two liters of water. Low water intake can decrease oxygen flow throughout the body and it also decreases the effective removal of toxins from the body which overtime can weaken the immune system. One of the easiest ways to get any child to drink water is by setting the example. So, as a parent, drink more water in the presence of your children and keep drinking water accessible and in plain sight.

Spirulina: Spirulina is a natural blue green algae (cyanbacteria) that is an incredible source of absorbable nutrients. When harvested correctly from non-contaminated ponds and bodies of water, it is one of the most potent nutrient sources available. Taking about half a teaspoon spirulina daily is the equivalent of 1 egg or ½ a banana or 300ml of Milk. Spirulina is a complete protein and an excellent source of Vit A, B12, B2, B3, Iron, Zinc and Omega 6 fatty acids. It provides the body with antioxidants, which are key in reducing oxidative stress and inflammation in the body. Simply put, what you cannot get your child to eat in their diet, spirulina will do the trick.

Fruits and vegetables: This is almost cliché, but not to be taken for granted. A lot of health professionals educate parents about the importance of fruits and vegetables in a child’s diet but let’s look at this from a nutritionist’s standpoint. A daily serving of a variety of fruits and vegetables provides fiber for proper digestion of foods, phytonutrients like beta-carotene which turn into Vit A in the body, and Minerals like Iron which increase the absorption of Vit C in the body to fight infections.

A missed serving causes a decline in the nutrients listed above which when they are depleted begin to deplete other nutrients like Zinc, potassium, calcium and so on. That’s why when a child who lacks these nutrients is exposed to a virus or bacteria; quickly gets infected and doesn’t have strong immune cells to fight. For children who do not like vegetables; there can be blended or juiced with fruits. They can also be made into popsicles or even baked. The trick is to get creative with the approach of serving them.

In conclusion, Omesiete said that every child deserves a fighting chance against infections and with these three ways, every parent is sure of kicking their child’s immune system up a notch.

In self development January 28, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

98 YEAR OLD MOM MOVES TO NURSING HOME TO LOOK AFTER 80 YEAR OLD SON

A mother will do anything for her children, no matter how old they get. A 98-year-old mom went viral. But why? She decided to move into the same nursing home her son was in so she could look after him.

Ada Keating is the amazing woman who wanted nothing more than to be by her son’s side when she needed him the most. Even in her old age, this mom knows best, and it seems that both mom and son are thankful for the companionship in the picture below.

Tom Keating, Ada’s son, became a resident at Moss View care home in Huyton, Liverpool, back in 2016 since he needed more care than he could receive at home. The following year, his mother Ada decided she couldn’t bear being without him. Therefore, she moved into the same nursing home to be with him. Mom and son are so thankful they get to spend so much time together, and they enjoy watching TV and playing games to pass the time.

MEET THE KEATINGS

Ada and Tom were born in Wavertree, Liverpool, and have always been close. That’s because Tom has lived with his mother for all his adult life, never having been married. Ada said they have a routine in place so he knows what to expect. “I say goodnight to Tom in his room every night and I’ll go and say good morning to him,” she said. “I’ll tell him I’m coming down for breakfast.”

Ada says that they still have a deep bond even in their older age. “When I go out to the hairdressers he’ll look for me to see when I’m coming back,” she said. “When I get back he’ll come to me with his arms outstretched and give me a big hug. You never stop being a mum.” Tom added, “They’re very good here and I’m happy to see my mum more now she lives here. Sometimes she’ll say ‘behave yourself.’ She’s very good at looking after me.”

Tom is the oldest of four children; he had three sisters, Barbara, Margi, and Janet who passed away at 13. Tom worked as a painter and decorator before his retirement. Ada worked as a nurse at Mill Road Hospital before she retired. Their family members visit them often at home and are happy to see the two back together again. Some days, up to five generations of the Keating family come visiting!

Debi Higham, Ada’s granddaughter, comes to visit the two often. She said, “There’s no parting them. It’s reassuring for us that they’re both getting looked after 24/7.”

BELOVED BY THE NURSING HOME STAFF

The manager at the nursing home, Philip Daniels, said he’s happy the pair can be together at his facility.

“It’s very touching to see the close relationship both Tom and Ada share and we are so pleased we were able to accommodate both of their needs,” he revealed.

He added, “It’s very rare to see mothers and their children together in the same care home and we certainly want to make their time together as special as possible. They are inseparable.”

Isn’t this such a heartwarming story of a Mom and son’s unbreakable bond? If it touched your heart, please share with your friends and family!

In self development November 24, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MISTAKES CAN HELP YOUR KIDS BECOME INDEPENDENT

Becoming independent is a critical part of growth and making mistakes can be a natural phenomenon that every individual will go through. How it is handled and lessons learnt from mistakes make the difference.

When kids make mistakes, most parents can be quick to judge their incompetence and lack of maturity, but then, it is a learning curve that gives everyone the opportunity to grow and become truly independent.

According to a parenting enthusiast and mum, Gift Adokie, when kids make mistakes that embarrass or disappoint their parents, it is important for parents to learn how to overcome the feelings of failure and not take it personally.

Having worked with parents as an educator of students with severe behaviour issues, she said that parents can do everything “right” and children will still make mistakes. Mistakes are a natural part of life and critical to learning, growing, and becoming independent. Missteps and failures allow kids to gain valuable insight, develop critical thinking skills, and acquire essential traits like resilience, grit, and self-compassion.

According to Adokie: “When your child makes a mistake that disappoints or embarrasses you, berating yourself is not going to help this situation. Feeling guilty is not either. In both cases, you are taking responsibility for something that is not yours to own. If your children think you are blaming yourself for their actions or making excuses for them, that is giving them the wrong message.

“Taking time to communicate your expectations, your belief in their capability, and making a plan for moving forward is a far better way to spend your time and energy.”

Adokie stressed that it may be helpful to keep in mind that when parents take on their children’s mistakes, this becomes a detriment to their children when they get into the real world and do not know how to handle failure or take responsibility for their poor choices.

She added: “By communicating that mistakes are part of life, you also dismiss the notion that perfection is needed in life’s journey, which is also very damaging to personal growth, happiness and wellbeing. We never want our kids to believe they are failures when they experience failure.

“Commending them for owning a mistake and getting back up to try again is extremely beneficial. Sharing mistakes from your own life and how you handled them helps kids perceive you as a trusted source of support when things go wrong.”

Owning your own mistakes and apologising for them provides a powerful example for young people to follow.

She added that, above all, these are the three mistake reminders to keep in the forefront when kids make mistakes:

• How I collect myself and move forward in courage and love after making a misstep shows kids how to move forward in courage and love when they make a misstep.

• We are not the sum of our mistakes; we are not a collection of our failings; we are human and sometimes we just need a moment and every moment is a chance to start anew.

• Mistakes mean we are learning, growing, taking risks, and showing up. The day we stop making mistakes is the day we stop living. Let us live bravely, boldly, flawed, and full of hope.

By Ijeoma Thomas-Odia for Guardian