Category

self development

Category

Depression can be debilitating and is very different from just feeling unhappy. Usually, there is a reason for unhappiness such as being rejected or not getting the job you wanted. Depression is a pervasive feeling. It’s almost as if you are in a black tunnel with no light. Hope disappears and the things you used to find enjoyable become a chore. Even winning the lottery would not snap someone out of depression and it is never a good idea to tell someone who is depressed to sort themselves out and pull themselves together. Unfortunately, it isn’t that simple, but there are ways to alleviate the symptoms of depression.

1. Practice Mindfulness
A depressed mind tends to mull over all that is wrong and worries unnecessarily about all the negative possibilities that may emerge in the future. This negative thought cycle reinforces misery and is not helpful in managing to overcome depression. Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment and is a skill that needs to be practiced. More often than not, our brains are full of thoughts and focusing on the present moment seems unnatural for our minds. Practice on engaging your senses in the moment. Focus on touch, taste, sight, sound and smell. Engaging the senses leaves less time for worry.tely, it isn’t that simple, but there are ways to alleviate the symptoms of depression.

2. Stop the Negative Self Talk
Depressed people tend to see the world in a negative way. When things go wrong they blame themselves and when they go right, they put it down to luck. Depression reinforces self doubt and feelings of worthlessness. Monitor your inner negative talk and make allowances for this type of thinking by reminding yourself that your thinking is that of a depressed person, not a healthy functioning person. Don’t take your thoughts seriously when you are feeling low. Acknowledge the thoughts but this doesn’t mean you have to believe them. Keep perspective.

3. Distract Yourself
If possible, do your best to distract yourself from over thinking. Your thoughts are your enemy when depression sets in. Play with a pet or go for a walk. Read a book if you are able to concentrate or finish a puzzle. Do anything that takes your mind off your fears and worries. Keeping busy is an effective way to overcome depression.

4. Connect with Friends
This can be one of the hardest things to do when feeling depressed but it is one of the most rewarding activities. Force yourself to go out. Isolating oneself from others may seem a good idea but put a limit on it and then get out there again. This can have a huge positive effect on your mood.

5. Forgive Others
When we hold a grudge, we are the ones that feel the anger. The person whom we are angry with is probably merrily going about their business completely oblivious to your feelings. Don’t allow others to have this power over you. They have may have caused you grief in the past, try not to allow that grief to continue – it only affects you, not them. Find a way to forgive – they are not worthy of your time. Lighten the emotional load and you will improve your mood and help you to overcome depression.

6. Get Enough Sleep
Sleep and mood are closely connected. Inadequate sleep can cause irritability and stress, while healthy sleep can enhance well-being. Studies have shown that even partial sleep deprivation has a significant effect on mood.Take steps to ensure adequate sleep will this will lead to improved mood and well-being. The quality of your sleep directly affects the quality of your waking life, including your mental sharpness, productivity, emotional balance, creativity, physical vitality, and even your weight. No other activity delivers so many benefits with so little effort so aim for between 7.5 and 9 hours sleep per night.

7. Exercise
Regular exercise has benefits for helping to overcome depression. Exercise releases endorphins which improve natural immunity and improve mood. Besides lifting your mood, regular exercise offers other health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure, protecting against heart disease, cancer and boosting self-esteem. Experts advise getting half an hour to an hour of moderate exercise, such as brisk walking at least three to four times per week.

8. Don’t give up
Depression can make you want to hide away from the world and disappear. It’s okay to take some time out but give yourself a time limit and then do something productive to improve your mood. Depression can be well managed (I know this from personal experience) and there can be a wonderful life beyond depression. Hang in there and keep the faith.

Although the above suggestions can be effective, depression that perseveres should be investigated further and seeing a Doctor to chat over any symptoms is a step in the right direction.

 

Have you ever wondered what highly successfulwomen do on Monday mornings? Success is not created by luck, but by working hard toward reaching a specific goal. Monday morning routines set the mood for the rest of the day and the rest of the week. Here’s a list of Monday morning habits that highly successful people develop.

  1. They Wake Up Early – Set Your Alarm For 5am

They wake up early to make sure that they have plenty of time to complete all of their tasks. Waking up early also ensures that they are not late for any of their scheduled events and they have plenty of time to take care of their personal chores prior to jumping into their work load.

In an interview with Oprah, Michelle Obama shared that she wakes up early to take care of herself before her day starts. “Well, I just started thinking, if I had to get up and go to work, I’d get up and go to work. If I had to get up to take care of my kids, I’d get up and do that. But when it comes to yourself, then suddenly, ‘Oh, I can’t get up at 4:30.’ So I had to change that.”

We are only allotted so much time in each day; sleeping the day away diminishes the chances of success.

  1. They Meditate – Start With Just 5 Minutes

Monday morning meditation or prayer are great tools to envision success. It’s important to quiet the mind and let the positive energy in as soon as you wake up. If you start with meditating for 5 minutes and over time increase it to half an hour per session.

Such practices can also answer unanswered questions and lead the way to success.

Oprah meditates two times per day for 20 minutes, and she states, “I walked away feeling fuller than when I’d come in. Full of hope, a sense of contentment, and deep joy. Knowing for sure that even in the daily craziness that bombards us from every direction, there is — still — the constancy of stillness. Only from that space can you create your best work and your best life.” (HuffingtonPost)

  1. They Get Motivated – Personal Development Is Key

Highly successful people get motivated first thing on Monday morning. They read personal development books, watch inspirational videos, listen to motivational speakers. Even 15 minutes of inspirational content on Monday morning can set up your day and your week for success

Some of the books you may want to check out:

  1. They Get Active – No You Don’t Need A Gym Membership

Highly Successful people know that getting the body active is imperative on Monday mornings and throughout the week. Exercise helps the body wake up and oxygenate; by doing so, all of the cells become active and ready for the day.

  1. They Only Tend To Urgent E-mails

Most email accounts are bursting with emails on Monday mornings. Highly successful people have a way to tend just to urgent emails in the morning.

Going through a long list of random emails can waste a lot of time first thing in the morning. Tumblr’s David Karp shares, “I used to suck at e-mail. I’d let e-mails pile up, get overwhelmed, and miss important messages; or forget to reply. So I set up filters on my e-mail, and that’s been working pretty well. Now, my inbox gets e-mails only from people in my company and from my girlfriend.” (Inc.com)

You can set up filters in your email account just like David Karp did. Alternatively, you can get an email app for your smart phone. Apps like Boxer, Dispatch, and Hop can help you to quickly go through your email box to separate urgent and non-urgent emails.

 

 

 

To really know that the love in your relationship is genuine or not, here are some of the signs to look out for.

Is the love in your relationship real, or fake?

If it is, all you should do is keep growing the love, keep staying truthful to each other, keep drinking a lot of water, and just keep treating each other in all the good ways that will allow the relationship thrive further.

On the flipside, fake love is not something anyone would want to live with. Sadly, it is exactly what some people have in their relationships. If the relationship is based on anything different from a genuine willingness to see the other person flourish in every sense of the word, if it is based on something fleeting and temporary, then it is likely fake.

To really know that the love in your relationship is fake, here are some things you may want to watch out for:

1. They’re emotionally distant

In a relationship, fakers have a tendency to be non-communicative. They’ll provide little to no substance to what’s going on in their life. They’ll also make excuses why they “couldn’t” communicate especially when it is a little difficult to do so.

The difference between them and someone with genuine love for you is the extra effort needed to reach out when it’s not so easy.

If you are happy in a relationship, you need to look for a way to keep at it. If they make you happy, don't let it go. [Credit Freepik]If you are happy in a relationship, you need to look for a way to keep at it. If they make you happy, don’t let it go. [Credit Freepik]

Freepik

2. Always willing to throw in the towel

Conflict happens in every relationship. It demonstrates a level of care which partner have for one another.

That said, every conflict demands a resolution.If you’re the only one trying to resolve any conflict or problems that arise, it’s often a telltale sign of emotional detachment and this of course, is a major sign you’ll find in people who have got only fake love for you.

They really won’t care whether the relationship works or fails.

3. They don’t meet you halfway

Are you always the one to plan things? Check on the other person? Take responsibilities and all that? If so, what concessions, if any, is your partner making? Where’s the effort on their part?

Relationship and compromise are like two peas in a pod. A lack of effort is a universal sign of disinterest – and a relationship is no different.

A lack of effort from a partner is a universal sign of disinterest and you should not ignore it if you see the sign in a relationship [Credit - Shutterstock]A lack of effort from a partner is a universal sign of disinterest and you should not ignore it if you see the sign in a relationship [Credit – Shutterstock]

4. Unconcern

An authentic relationship sparks feelings of passion for each other. You’ll be curious, concerned, involved, etc in all that the other person does.

Someone who continuously acts indifferent isn’t engaged, likely detached, and unfit – not to mention unworthy – of a real relationship.

5. That gut feeling

Many times, when someone does not really love you, you will know. There’s usually that sixth sense, that gut feeling in the pit of your stomach that keeps pricking you.

Add this to all the signs that you will see, and the picture is clear that this babe or that guy doesn’t really love you. They’re only with you because they have no option, or for the money or some other fake reason.

Be honest with yourself. Are you wasting your time? Money? Energy?

Cyclical pain is the pain that is associated with menstrual cycle. It is the most common type of breast pain and usually occurs in both breasts.

Studies have shown that seventy percent of women experience breast pain during menstruation.

And while it can be serious for a few, it is usually mild for most of them.

There is also the group that experiences breast pain, which is also known as mastalgia, regularly; and a good number of them are advanced in age.

However, the causes of breast pain may vary based on the type or category of breast pain. And according to studies, breast pain can either be categorized as cyclical pain or non-cyclical pain.

1. Cyclical pain

Just as the name implies, cyclical pain is the pain that is associated with menstrual cycle. It is the most common type of breast pain and usually occurs in both breasts.

Known to come with a heaviness or soreness that radiates to the armpit and arm, the primary cause of cyclical breast pain can be linked to the fluctuation of estrogen and progesterone.

However, observations have shown that cyclical pain tends to subside during or after menstruation period.

2. Noncyclical pain

Unlike cyclical pain, noncyclical pain can have many causes which includes injury to the breast, breast size, cysts, muscles or tissues rather than the breast itself, and other numerous unknown factors.

Nevertheless, noncyclical pain has been found to be much less common than cyclical pain, and its causes can be very difficult to identify.

Here are some home remedies for treating cyclical pain

1.Home therapies

Medical practitioners have advised that applying cold compresses or heating pads to the breasts can help reduce cyclical breast pain.

Additionally, taking a warm bath with soothing essential oils, like rosemary or lavender can help relieve the pain as well.

It has also been advised that wearing loose cotton clothes and massaging breasts in the shower with soap can help bring relieve breast pain.

2. Lifestyle changes

Some experts have also suggested that breast pain may be improved by:

  • Reducing your intake of caffeine, which is found in tea, coffee, and cola
  • Reducing your intake of saturated fat, which is found in butter, crisps, and fried food
  • Not smoking (if you smoke)

However, the benefits of making these changes have not been scientifically proven.

3. Herbs

In addition to the solutions stated above, herbal remedies have long been proven to be a natural and economical method of treating breast pain.

And two popular herbs for relieving cyclical breast pain are chaste berry and soy. Chasteberry helps reduce prolactin levels, which in turn reduces breast pain.

On the other hand, soy contains phytoestrogenic compounds, which raise estrogen levels and ease breast pain, making it popular among menopausal women.

Other nutrient-rich food that can help relieve breast pain includes Salmon, avocados, spinach, kale, and guavas.

4. Nonprescription medicines

It is also possible to reduce breast pain with the following nonprescription medicines. But ensure to read and follow the instructions on the label!

  • Acetaminophen, such as Tylenol
  • Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), such as ibuprofen(Advil or Motrin), naproxen (Aleve or Naprosyn), or aspirin (Anacin, Bayer)

However, it is advisable to visit a doctor if breast pain becomes severe or lasts longer than three weeks.

 If you’re going to spend 1/3 of your life at work, you should enjoy it, right?

I know that’s easier said than done. Difficult coworkers, less-than-desirable tasks, or even just being in the wrong position can all lead to a lack of enjoyment and fulfillment in your work.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way? Or better yet, if you struggle with all of the above (and then some), what if I told you that enjoying your work and finding fulfillment regardless of those obstacles is possible?

I know this because I’ve been there too. Years ago, I struggled to get through each day, much less find real fulfillment, in the office. Now, even after the toughest days on the job, I still come away with feelings of pride, accomplishment, and fulfillment. The best news is, so can you.

If you’re ready to make those hours count and find happiness and fulfillment in the office, then read on to find out how to be happy at work and find fulfillment in your career:

  1. Discover the Root(s) of the Problem

For this first step, we’ll need to think back to 8th-grade physics (humor me). We all know Newton’s 3rd law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When you think about it, the same can be said outside of physics, and we see this law play out in our daily lives, day after day.

Simply put, all the issues we deal with in the office (and life in general) affect us in a noticeable way.

If you’re appreciated at work, like the work you do and receive frequent praise, promotions, or raises, then this will probably have an altogether positive effect on your life in the office.

But what if we reverse this? What if you feel under appreciated, get passed up for promotions, or get denied raises? This is sure to affect the way you feel at work on a negative level.

So, before you can implement the steps of feeling happy and fulfilled at work, we first have to discover the reasons why you don’t feel that way already.

Think about it, write a list, or make a mental note. Run through all the reasons you’re dissatisfied in the office, and don’t hold back. Knowing the exact obstacles you’re facing will make overcoming them that much easier.

In fact, as a side-challenge to this article, I recommend picking the top three reasons contributing to your dissatisfaction at work and using the following tips to tackle them.

  1. Practice Gratitude for an Instant Uplift

Did you know the simple act of feeling grateful can increase your happiness and make you more fulfilled at work?

Well, it’s true, and it’s scientifically proven.

Dr. Lisa Firestone notes that practicing gratitude “reminds us of what we lacked in the past.” Meaning, it serves as both a boost to happiness and a bit of a wake-up call that things have been or could be, much worse.

Trying to conjure up feelings of gratitude can seem almost impossible when your work situation seems bleak, but hear me out: There are incredibly easy ways to get started and it doesn’t involve trying to “force” yourself to feel grateful about things that stress you out.

For an instant pick-me-up, try this:

Find a loose piece of paper, a blank sticky note, or anything you can write on, be it physical or digital. List just three things that you are absolutely without-a-doubt thankful for in your life.

Now here’s the trick: Don’t just list what you’re grateful for, you have to list why you’re grateful for them, too.

For example, simply saying “I’m grateful for my kids” will probably make you feel good, sure, but what if we could amplify the warm, fuzzy feeling into real, lasting motivation?

Instead, write the reason you’re so thankful for your children. Is it because they make you laugh and forget about other stressors? Or maybe they help to remind you of why you go to work every day in the first place?

Whatever your reasons may be, jot them down and keep your list somewhere you can see it while you work. A quick glance at your gratitude list throughout the day can provide powerful, positive motivation to keep going.

Bonus:

If you can find just three things to be thankful for that specifically relate to your job, and list why those things make you grateful, your list can also help you find fulfillment in your work itself which can give you an even bigger boost of positivity throughout the day.

  1. Take Meaningful Time for Yourself

We all know creating a strong work-life balance can be crucial to feeling satisfied in our jobs, but rarely do we ever address how we’re spending our time outside of work.

Many of us survive a 9-hour work day and commute home only to find ourselves busy with our personal to-do lists, running a household, and taking care of a child (or 2 or 3, and so on).

If you spend all your time working, whether in the office or within your household, you’re going to feel drained at some point. This is why setting meaningful time for yourself every day is highly important.

Look, I get it: I don’t know anyone in the working world who can shun all responsibility for a 3-movie marathon or happy hour with friends whenever they feel like it. But finding time for yourself, be it just 30 minutes to an hour, can really make a difference in how you feel at work.

This works because you’ll have time to actually relax and let the day’s stress melt away while you enjoy something just for you. The to-do lists and stressors will still be there after you’re refreshed and ready to tackle them.

No time for me-time? Try this:

If you have a busy household, you’ll need to capitalize on a block of time you know will be completely uninterrupted. The easiest way to do this: try waking up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than usual (or push bedtime back an hour if you’re a night owl, like me) and take time to do something you enjoy.

This could be reading with a cup of tea, catching up on Facebook, spending time on a passion project—anything! As long as it’s meaningful to you, it works!

Bonus:

Starting your day with meaningful time for yourself can set you up to have a positive mood that lasts well into office hours, and having your me-time in the evening can give you something positive to look forward to during the day.

  1. Get Productive and Feel Accomplished

Don’t you just love the feeling of checking the last item off of a hefty to-do list? That’s because self-motivation can be a huge driver of positivity and success.

When we accomplish something, no matter how small, it makes us feel good, plain and simple. Applying this tactic to your daily work can be the motivator you need to find fulfillment during the daily office grind.

While there are tons of steps to get more done at work, I’ll share my personal favorite: Prioritizing.

Now, many people handle prioritizing differently. Some like to tackle the little tasks first so they can spend focused time on the big to-dos. Others like to knock out the big items first and get to the smaller ones when they can.

No matter which camp you’re in, you may be missing one crucial step: Time management.

So how’s this work? When you factor in the amount of time your priorities will take, it can transform your productivity ten-fold.

Say you have three top priorities for the day. You might jump into the smaller ones or the bigger ones depending on your preferred method, and then find yourself out of time and bringing work home with you at the end of the day.

This is prevented when you factor in time. Knowing how long each item will take, or deliberately setting specific blocks of time for your priorities can help you accomplish more in the same 8-9 (or 12) hours that you typically spend at work.

Try this:

Take a look at your priorities and consider how long they should take. Pop into your Google calendar (or Filofax, whatever works for you) and schedule time to work on your priority items around any important meetings or events of the day.

The most important thing to remember is to stick to your dedicated time.

Often, when we know exactly how long we have to work on something (and honor this time limit), we’re motivated to get more done on time to avoid taking work home at the end of the day.

The Bottom Line

There’s no need to waste 1/3 of our lives feeling unsatisfied at work. Luckily, you now have the tools to get started, take back your time, and become happy and fulfilled at work again.

By: Kileen Robinson

I have come to accept that being healthy is not impossible, especially as parts of our bodies are wired to work in tandem. Sometimes, we may not think anything could be bothering us or may be on our minds but if you start to have unexplained health issues, especially where all tests come back negative, you might want to check. It might have been pushed back in your mind but still nags at you. There have been times I didn’t realise I was dwelling on an issue until my body started acting up.

A few days ago, I told my friend that my entire system works with my state of mind, which is true. Some of the symptoms I have noticed makes me realise I need to slow down are:

  • Difficulty sleeping.
  • Headaches and feeling light-headed.
  • Increased indigestion, bloating, diarrhea.

Although I have no scientific proof, from my personal experience, here are some of the things that always solve the issue:

Rest

This is one of the things we overlook so much but it is vital for our bodies and mental health. If you are like me, you might constantly want to do something, but I’ve trained myself and my mind to not do anything when I need to rest. You hear of people getting burnt out or people losing their minds. We all need to make conscious effort to listen to our bodies and slow down. Rest might be the thing between you and another health crisis. Take time to rest, it is important.

Keep a positive mindset

2020 has been a trying year for almost every single person in the world. Except you’ve been living in a cave! There is so much bad news and negativity, but you need to filter what you allow into your mind and what your mind dwells on. If there are things you’ve identified as constant triggers, do away with them as much as possible. Social media is a source of immense pressure for so many young people. With social media, what many fail to realise is that people post selectively. You would never know what battles or demons people are living with behind the scenes. For instance, we woke up recently to the shocking news of Chadwick Boseman‘s passing. Who knew that he had been battling for his life with cancer for four whole years? Through all the pain, chemotherapy, treatment, the man gave us his very best, then bowed out. He knew he had limited time, yet he put forward light, positivity, and such grace. Who would have thought?!

People have lost loved ones, jobs, and other things due to the pandemic. At a time like this, it is very easy to go on a downward spiral and stay depressed. But I like to say that as long as we are still living, there is hope. What other choice do we have? My take: stay positive and keep pushing, keep fighting.

Eat properly and stay hydrated

Our bodies are meant to be nourished for maximum efficiency. Once upon a time, I used to forget to eat. Then I started to taste bile, my body was overproducing acid and the required food for it to work with was absent. When I went to the hospital, all I was told was that I was not eating enough and the solution was so simple – no medication needed, just food. Eat well and balance out your food with the different classes. Junks can only nourish your body for so long before it starts to attack it. Drink water, lots of it. You’ll see the difference, and you’ll be thankful for it.

Exercise

We work hard and need some form of release for all the pent up energy. Not everyone might be a fitness buff, but something as simple as walking has so many health benefits. From exercise, new brain cells can be created, it increases the production of neurochemicals that promote brain cell repairs. I’ve also noticed that exercise makes me happy, helps with digestion and I use it as an outlet for frustration. It does me a world of good, always.

Keep good company

We were not meant to be alone or else we would have been individually placed on islands – that’s how I choose to see it. We need people! Human relations are important to how we function, so keep your loved ones close, create networks, and make friends. On a bad day, a kind word from someone may be all you need to light up your day. Even introverts who draw strength from being alone realise that they need company from time to time.

Have fun

Create moments you can look back on and smile. Don’t overlook your hobbies, you can’t take yourself so seriously all the time. Your body needs to be rejuvenated so find ways to do some fun activities. Laugh, play, dance, take note of the small things around you. 2020 has shown us the importance of not taking things for granted. During the lockdown period, so many people wished to just go out, to have fun, and to do the things they would normally do. Celebrate the small things, there is no point always waiting for something big.

Be present

Live in the now, enjoy the moment. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, you have today. Be sure to make decisions for tomorrow but live in the present. I’ve realised that sometimes it is the simplest things that we fail to do that could save us down the line. Take advantage of opportunities now, listen to your body, and take care of it.

Any other tips to add to this list? Please share.

Reading broadens your horizon. Read the works of other writers, read articles, newspapers, magazines, self-help books, fiction books. Just read! If you read regularly, you would always have things to write about.

When most people start blogging, they get excited, announce it on their Instagram pages, add ‘blogger’ to their bios, and then – almost predictably – after a while, their creativity and consistency fade away, and drop drastically.

What has helped me stay consistent over the years, as a blogger, is that I consider blogging as a part of my legacy. My content, words, and ideas are forever on the web and anyone who searches my name would get a feel of the gift God gave me.

If you are about to start blogging or if you’re already a blogger, here are some tips that have helped me to creatively solve the problems I’ve faced:

Deal with your bias

We’re all biased in one way or the other. When it comes to subjects and issues, we always have our opinions based on our experience or on what we think is right, and most times, we are wrong about those opinions. Dealing with your bias when it comes to issues and topics you blog about helps you present your articles in a clear, wholesome way, devoid of personal judgment. Deal with your bias by doing adequate research before you write, present all your thoughts in your articles and give different perspectives on the matter. It shows your readers you are not a narrow-minded person and they are able to draw their own conclusions without you forcing your own opinions on them.

Also, learn to think clearly before writing. Analyze and understand ideas and arguments before expressing them. Thinking clearly makes you bold enough to write with assertion. It also helps you question if what you are writing is the truth or if it’s influenced by your biases.

Always research

Read a lot, listen to people, watch movies, open your mind to learn from different sources. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Doing adequate research on topics you choose to write about arms you with the knowledge you need to pen down a good piece.

Get an editor

Getting an editor is very important. Imagine a pencil without an eraser. An editor not only serves to grammatically correct your work but also plays the role of a gatekeeper before your work is shared with the public. Having an unbiased mind go through your articles and give you honest and constructive criticism makes you a better writer and that way, you churn out awesome essays every time you write. A common problem most beginners face is the inability to afford an editor at the early stages of their career, mostly because of financial constraints. What you can do is to think of the other skills you have that the editor can benefit from and offer that in place of money. Since you can write, suggest ghostwriting for your editor in exchange for him/her to edit your blog posts.

Planning

Always plan ahead. Create a monthly/quarterly content calendar for your blog. It helps you stay consistent and gives you plenty of time to research your topics before you write on them.

Read

Reading broadens your horizon. Read the works of other writers, read articles, newspapers, magazines, self-help books, fiction books. Just read! If you read regularly, you would always have things to write about.

Tell your story

It’s advisable to always put in an element of yourself in your stories. Tell your story in a way that only you can. Don’t fall into the pressure of trying to sound like someone else because you think that person is gaining more traction. You can never be excellent copying someone, so learn to be the best version of yourself.

Be ready to deal with writer’s block

Writer’s block happens to the best of us. Most times, it is your brain trying to tell you that it’s time for a break. Whenever I deal with blocks, I try to relax. Breathe and think about why you are unable to write at that point. You can also write about the block, what you’re feeling, and share it. That is solid content on its own. If you have a block about a certain area you are trying to write on, try writing about something that is entirely new to you.

Get an accountability partner

What happens when you don’t publish a post like you promised yourself you would? Nothing? Too bad. That is the beginning of the end of your blog. You need someone to keep you accountable. You can get your parents to help by sharing your dream with them, they’ll keep you on your toes.

Blogging is not as easy as most people think, it can be draining and often discouraging when it doesn’t pay the returns you’d like immediately. See blogging as an extension of yourself, a hobby you enjoy doing, and would continue to do even when you have zero readers. Think about it as your legacy, this would keep you going when no one is clapping for you.

I hope you found these tips helpful. Happy blogging!

Asking for the same thing over and over again isn’t fun for anybody. Repeating yourself makes you feel like a nag and makes them feel bad about themselves. Not to mention, it drives you both crazy.

So, how do you break the cycle of nagging?

Learning how to quit nagging and start talking isn’t as complicated as it seems. It’s all about opening up those lines of communication and adjusting your expectations.

Keep reading for 6 easy steps on how to stop nagging and learn how to open a healthy dialogue with your spouse.

1. Watch Your Words

It’s natural to feel exasperated if you feel your spouse isn’t pulling their weight around the house, but the last thing you want to do is put your partner on the defensive. How can you avoid this? Simply put, listen to the way you’re asking your partner for help.

How you think you’re saying things: “Honey, I would really appreciate it if you did the dishes while I’m at work.”

How you’re actually saying things: “How are you so oblivious that you don’t even see those dishes piling up while I’m at work?”

As we can see from this example, your words and the way you make requests of your spouse matter. Instead of making them feel guilty or belittled, phrase it in a way that makes them feel good.

“I would really appreciate your help with…”

“It always makes me feel good when…”

“You’re my hero when you…”

The above openers are great conversation starters.

2. Don’t Believe in Mind Reading

Men and women have a terrible habit of believing that, after a time, their spouse knows them so well that they should be able to understand what they want without ever having to tell them. This is a cute thought but rarely is it ever true.

Any marriage therapist will tell you that your spouse cannot read your mind. If you need something from them, you need to learn to ask for it.[1]

You can start by sending out little cues that you want X or Y, but if they don’t catch on by the time you get to Z, it’s time to start communicating with your words.

Not only does this save your spouse from playing a guessing game, but it also saves you a lot of frustration.

3. Make It a Shared Decision

One way to stop nagging and start being proactive is by getting your partner involved.

Problem-solving isn’t something you should do on your own. When you are married or in a serious relationship, you are partners, not parents to each other.

What your job isn’t: Mummying your spouse and telling them what to do.

What your job is: To come together as a couple and work at healthy conflict resolution. Identify the problem you’re having in a kind and respectful manner and then ask your partner to weigh in on how to resolve the conflict at hand.

The keys to great problem-solving are empathy, communication, and listening to each other.

4. Take a Marriage Course

The need to nag comes down to a fundamental lack of communication in a relationship.[2] When both partners are open and honest about their needs, conversation flows, and partners look for ways to help each other out – instead of being told to do so.

Instead of seeing a marriage therapist, why not take a marriage course?

There are plenty of online courses designed to help couples understand each other better. Topics covered in a popular online marriage course include setting shared goals as a couple, building compassion and empathy, mastering the art of communication, intimacy, and making and sharing traditions.

5. Get Your Partner to Hear You

No partner wants to be a nag, and the argument could be made that if the spouse or child did what they asked the first time, they wouldn’t have to keep bringing it up, which effectively stops nagging.

A fair point!

But harping at people doesn’t usually get the job done – so how DO you get someone to listen without nagging them?

The best way to get your partner to listen to you and avoid ending up in a marriage course for couples on the brink of destruction is to get them to see things from your perspective.[3] Relate your situation to something they can understand.

One stay-at-home mom and homemaker worked hard to keep her house neat and tidy, but her construction worker husband would come home and walk through the freshly mopped hardwood floors with his dusty work boots on. She asked him to take his boots off repeatedly, but he could never seem to follow through.

One day she said to him, “Keeping the house clean is my job, just like doing drywall is your job. When you come home and walk through the house with your boots on after I just finished cleaning it, it’s as if I came to your construction site and ripped down the drywall you put up that day. Do you see how I could find this to be frustrating?”

The wife used an example the husband could understand, and so he became more empathetic to her desires.

6. Do It Yourself, If Possible

As they say, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”

To decrease nagging, ask yourself whether what you’re about to say is worth getting upset over and whether it’s worth taking the task into your own hands.

Sure, it’d be nice if your spouse refilled the compost bag so you don’t have to do it, but the next time you’re getting ready to nag about it, ask yourself: Is a compost bag worth starting World War III over?

If you want to break the cycle of nagging without ending up in the office of a marriage therapist, you need to learn how to rephrase your requests. Speak respectfully and work on building empathy in your relationship. A marriage course can also help build communication and work on your conflict resolution skills.

Final Thoughts

Communication is key to any relationship, and it’s especially more important for partners. Sometimes, a person may feel like they’re communicating properly, unaware that their partner is already hearing them nagging. These 6 tips will help you stop nagging and communicate better with your partner.

Source: Lifehack.org

Many people believe that a strong belief in one’s self is something we are born with. This suggests that people without self-belief can never develop one and are stuck living with having low self-esteem.

This, however, is wrong. self-belief is something that can be developed and rebuilt if lost.

So, if you do not believe in yourself or have lost your self-belief, remember that you can regain it with the right steps and actions.

For the importance of self-belief, circumstances that can make a person lose her self-belief, and how belief in one’s self can be redeveloped, keep reading below.

Why is Self-Belief Important?

As the name suggests, self-belief has to do with how much a person believes in herself. It encompasses the belief in your values, skills, knowledge, and abilities. Self-believe is very important because it affects a person’s lifestyle and choices.

A person without self-belief will constantly downplay their abilities while settling for less than what they deserve. Most times, the individual takes whatever blow life deals because they do not believe that they deserve better.

On the other hand, a person with self-belief knows their worth and value.

For instance, when people with no self-belief see a job vacancy with the skills they possess, they may pass up on it or apply half-heartedly because they believe that they are not good enough for the job.

People with self-belief, on the other hand, will pursue the job wholeheartedly because they believe that they are well-qualified for the job.

In the end, people without self-belief may end up working a low paying job and living at the mercy of others for the rest of their lives. Meanwhile, people with self-belief will move from that job to a better one and might eventually get to the peak of their careers.

This example shows that while self-belief might seem small or inconsequential, it can affect our entire lives both directly and indirectly.

Self-belief motivates people to explore their potentials and this motivation may lead to the achievement of goals and aspirations.

Why Do Some People Lack Self-Belief?

No one is born without self-belief. Most times, we find ourselves in certain situations and circumstances that can negatively affect our self-esteem – either temporarily or in the long run.

To rebuild your self-belief, understanding the circumstance that made you lose it can help you learn how to proceed.

Here’re some common causes of lack of self-belief:

1. Unhappy Homes

Growing up in an unhappy home can reduce a person’s belief in herself. This is because as kids, the way you are treated by others, especially by your family, majorly influences the way you view yourself.

Kids who grow up with parents who never commend or congratulate them (but complain and tear them down) grow up lacking confidence in themselves.

2. Negative Peers

Being surrounded by people who constantly discourage you and make you feel like you are not good enough can make you lose confidence in yourself.

Sometimes, your peers may even convince you to do things you are not comfortable with and when you refuse, they may say and do things to make you feel odd. In order to fit in, you may find yourself abandoning your morals and values to please them. This can damage a person’s self-belief in the long run.

If you have a hard time distancing yourself from negative peers, reading this article about avoiding negative people may be helpful: 10 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People

3. Traumatic Experiences

Physical and emotional abuse can tear down a person’s self-belief. If you have a partner who makes you feel like you are not good enough to attract and keep their attention, it may extend to you feeling like you are not good enough for anyone or anything.

Also, people who experience physical abuse may suffer from depression and anxiety, which will gradually eat away their self-esteem. Eventually, such an experience will make them feel unworthy of their goals.

4. Bad Decisions

Some bad decisions made in the past can affect a person’s belief in herself and cause them to doubt their ability to make decisions in the future. This mostly happens when the decision made turns out to have consequences that affect not just the person but also their loved ones.

For instance, a mother decides to move abroad with her children in hopes of finding greener pastures for them, but the father disagrees. After arguing for a while, the father gives in and loans some money to sponsor the trip. When they travel, the mother is unable to find a good job so her plan fails.

The failure of this plan, the disappointment, and the losses incurred might make her doubt her ability to make the right decisions in the future.

5. Negative Thought Patterns

If you always think of the worst-case scenarios, especially when it comes to yourself, chances are that you will lose confidence in yourself.

If before a job interview, the only thing you can think of is all the mistakes you might make or how you might not be as good as other candidates, you will most likely take in that energy and discourage your interviewers.

Over time, such negative thought patterns might lead you to feel unworthy and inferior to everyone else. That is why you need to think positively and eliminate negative thoughts.

How To Develop Self-Belief

Once you understand the reason behind your lack of self-belief, you can proceed to work on how to build it.

Here are 8 ways to help you develop self-belief.

1. Know Who You Want to Be

When self-doubt or self-pity is not eating at you, who would you like to be? If you were not afraid, what would you do?

Boldly answering these questions is the first step to rebuilding your self-belief. This is because the doubts and negative thought patterns, over time, bury the real you along with your goals and dreams.

To gain self-belief, you need to work towards these goals while pushing away low self-esteem. So, give yourself the space to dream a little, and make a list of all the things you would like to achieve and believe. In the process of doing this, whenever self-doubts spring up, push them away until you create a comprehensive list.

2. Affirm Yourself

Self-affirmations are strong tools that reinforce your belief in yourself. This is because as humans, our self-image influences our behavior. If you see yourself as one of the most good looking people in the world, you will definitely behave like one.

And if you see yourself as the future CEO of a company, you will also act like one. So, what you need to do is see yourself as someone worthy and amazing.

Affirmations can help you create that image. They are positive statements that knock out doubts, especially when recited aloud and with belief.

For example:

“I am worthy of everything I desire.” “I am smart enough to achieve my goals.” “I deserve all the best things life has to offer.” “And I will put forth effort daily to meet one specific desire and one specific goal to experience the best things.”

So make a list of affirmations, stand in front of your mirror and say these words to yourself. It does not have to be lengthy. Just four uplifting sentences can help you feel prepared to conquer the world each day.

3. Face Your Fears

One effective way to develop self-belief is by facing your fears.

You do not have to face them all at once or go for the scariest first. You can choose to start little by little.

Start by figuring out the source of your self-doubt and tackling that problem. If your parent’s treatment of you as a kid is the reason you lost confidence in yourself, approach them and speak to them about it. Do not be afraid of being censored. Expressing yourself might help you get the weight off your chest.

Next, face the fear of failing to achieve your goals. Go for that interview and give it your best. Address that board of directors with your ideas and innovations. Walk out of that relationship that constantly beats on your self-esteem.

Once you face and conquer your fears, self-doubt will flee.

4. Address Your Inner Critic

If society is the reason behind your loss of self-belief, it can easily be addressed and rebuilt. If you are your own critic, however, your confidence cannot be regained if you do not shut off the criticizing voice in your head.

Most times, the lack of belief in oneself is a result of an overactive inner critic. You might have this amazing idea but while creating the proposal, you may start wondering if the idea is good enough. You then start to convince yourself that the proposal is not good enough, discarding the sheet of paper, and keeping the idea under lock and key.

Addressing your inner critic is crucial because until you do, you may keep undermining your abilities and settling for less than you deserve.

So when your inner critic asks you “why would they pick me for the job?”, ask yourself, “why shouldn’t they pick me for the job?”

And then go on to count out all the reasons why you are qualified for the position. Doing this repeatedly will shut your inner critic up and build your self-belief tremendously.

5. Be Prepared to Win

Before you take a step towards your goals and aspirations, make sure you are all set up to win.

Do not take things on a whim or have a ‘winging it’ mindset because these often result in failure. Instead, study hard for that exam, prepare to provide all the best answers at that interview, make an impressive presentation for that meeting, and cut off acquaintances who fill your mind with negative thoughts.

Preparing to win also fills you with confidence that will encourage you to put in the extra effort to achieve your goals.

6. Encourage Others

Do you know that encouraging others can change your mindset about success? Most times, loss of self-belief can also lead to losing faith in other people’s abilities.

You might find yourself constantly discouraging people against going after their dreams because you doubt that they can achieve them. So make an effort to see success as something anyone can achieve.

Encourage your friends and family, and your mindset about success will also change over time. Soon your encouragements will turn inwards, and you will start feeling motivated to achieve your own goals.

7. Take Care of Yourself

To develop your self-belief, you need to take care of yourself and not just mentally and emotionally. Physical care can go a long way toward influencing your mental and emotional health.

So, go to a spa and get a massage. Go shopping for outfits that make you feel good and do your hair. Register at the gym, eat healthily and make sure you get enough rest. Also, talk to a therapist or join a support group.

Looking good and feeling good will surely help boost your self-confidence.

8. Cut Off Negative Acquaintances

So-called friends who make you feel unworthy or not good enough through their words or actions should be cut off. This is because keeping such people around you will destroy every effort you make to rebuild your self-esteem.

It should not matter who they are to you because if they cared about you in the same way, they would treat you better. So, make a decision to avoid them.

If your family are the ones treating you poorly, speak to them about it, and make it clear that you will not tolerate negativity in your life. If your partner is physically or emotionally abusive, cut the person off too because until you do, your self-belief may never grow.

While distancing yourself from negative acquaintances, draw your loving friends and family closer and cultivate healthy relationships.

Final Thoughts

Marilyn Monroe once said

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

So, if the reason you lost your self-belief is that you believe others are better than you, you need to make a conscious effort into changing that mindset.

Think of all the amazing things you can do that other people cannot. And remind yourself that you are just as deserving as the next person.

Source: Lifehack.org

Nollywood actress, Kate Henshaw has reacted to claims that celebrities are being paid to say COVID-19 is real in Nigeria.

Henshaw shared her painful experience on her Instagram page after she went for COVID-19 test.

To her surprise, a fan responded saying celebrities were paid by Nigerian government to say coronavirus is real.

The actress who seemed infuriated by the comment wrote: “COVID-19 test is uncomfortable make I no lie. I was already in tears because this @NseIkpeEtim told me it was painful.

“ Someone commented on my Instagram saying” all these celebrities that have been paid to say there is COVID-19, God will judge you.

“If I land am better curse now, shay they will say Kate has started again inside blogs. I just blocked the person and moved on. COVID-19 IS REAL!!