Esther Ijewere: Whispers Of Grief

After a week of what seemed like a needed break, I reached out to Yemi, an old friend. Our chat started with everyday things, like his app called GrabHub, where people in Canada can get discounted groceries. Little did I know that our talk would take a turn towards grief. I asked how he dealt with losing a loved one and he said ‘I just had to accept they were never coming back and live with that.’

Biola, a friend, also shared her experience with grief, telling me about her mom’s passing  few years ago. In her heartfelt words, I felt a connection and an understanding of the pain that grief brings. She encouraged me to take my time and honor my emotions.

However, amid these supportive moments, a jarring message arrived from someone who didn’t understand the need for me to take a  break. It made me realize that people have different ways of dealing with grief, and sometimes, it’s okay to step back and be alone.

From this experience, a few lessons emerged—lessons that I carry with me.

Firstly, everyone responds to grief differently. It’s like a song, and each person’s tune is unique. Understanding and empathy are crucial during such times.

Secondly, I learned the importance of setting boundaries, especially when emotions are raw. The incident with the insensitive message made me realize the need to protect my space during vulnerable moments.

Thirdly, I discovered the power of intentional solitude. Choosing to be alone can be a way to heal and rediscover oneself. This journey is teaching me that silence can be a friend in times of grief.

Additionally, as part of my coping mechanisms, I find solace in reading daily affirmations for grief, a practice I share on page 11 of my book, ‘How to Make Affirmations Work for You.‘

Currently, I am immersing myself in the wisdom of ‘What A Time to Be Alone’ by Chidera Eggerue, finding comfort and insights in the pages of these sources.

In the days ahead, I plan to explore  Yemi’s app, GrabHub, finding comfort in simple things like looking at African food photos. It’s my way of coping with the pain and grounding myself.

As I navigate this silent season, I hope these lessons resonate with others facing grief. May we all find our unique paths to healing and honor the memories of those we’ve lost.

 I dedicate this article to the memory of my late dad; Emmanuel Ijewere and friends; Rinret Gofwan  and Uche Ugo. They all added color and light to my life in different ways, and their memories remain cherished.