While the intent of students at Oak Park and River Forest High School remains unclear, the photos were jarring enough that administrators withheld the books.
A high school in a Chicago suburb is spending more than $53,000 to reprint its 2018-2019 yearbook after staff discovered photos inside in which students were flashing the white supremacist “OK” hand sign.
Administrators at Oak Park and River Forest High School released a statement last week notifying parents that they were withholding the yearbooks from distribution after they discovered the photos, according to CBS Chicago.
This week, the Chicago Tribune reported that the high school will pay Jostens $53,794 to reprint the books and that the new versions are expected to be delivered to students by mid-June.
The racist adaptation of the “OK” hand sign began on 4chan ― an anonymous message board frequented by racists, trolls and extremists ― and has since been co-opted by prominent white supremacists who often use it to signal their presence to like-minded extremists. It’s prominent enough that those who use it have been fired from their jobs or faced other consequences ― recently, a Chicago Cubs fan was banned indefinitely from Wrigley Field after flashing the hand sign behind a black reporter during a live broadcast.
While the students’ intent was unclear and the photos weren’t made available, the content was apparently jarring enough that staff felt it necessary to reprint the yearbooks.
An email to parents, from school district Superintendent Joylynn Pruitt-Adams, notes that while the hand gestures could have been in reference to the classic schoolyard made-you-look “circle game,” its use by hateful people and ideologies led to the decision:
We’ve been made aware that this year’s ‘Tabula’ yearbook, which has not yet been distributed, contains several photos of students making a hand gesture that has different meanings. In some cases it’s used in what is known as the circle game. However, the gesture has more recently become associated with white nationalism. Regardless of intent, the potential negative impact of this gesture has led us to decide that we cannot distribute the yearbook as is. We are looking at alternative options, and in the coming days we will share further details about distribution plans. In the meantime, we appreciate your patience and support as we work through this situation.
Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially.
Hello Shade, I am a full-time housewife married to an international businessman. It is his choice that I stay home to tend to the home front, which I’ve come to embrace as my role. The problem is that as an educated wife, I think I’m supposed to know all my husband’s assets and properties, but he doesn’t tell me anything about them. I often feel he thinks I’m useless because I don’t work. Am I being unnecessarily paranoid? – Bisi, Ogun State
***
Dear Bisi,
Thank you for reaching out to me.
I understand that you feel under-appreciated by your husband, despite the fact that at your husband’s request, you have assumed the role of a full-time housewife.
In my opinion, your concerns are justifiable, because as a full-time homemaker who is completely financially dependent on your husband, such thoughts would pervade your mind. Perhaps this mental nudge is what you require to confirm if your husband has an estate plan in place. However, you must tread with caution to avoid being misunderstood.
Apart from finding a way to be financially productive yourself, even if it is through opening an investment portfolio that your husband can give you initial money for, start by letting your husband know that you are concerned about what could happen to you and his dependents if anything happens to him, particularly as you are not gainfully employed and are totally dependent on him financially. I believe this will set the tone for your husband to re-evaluate your current position as a full-time housewife. It would also prompt him to consider the options open to him toward planning his estate, including putting his will in place to determine how his assets will be distributed at the end of his life, and/or setting up a trust to cater for your welfare and that of other dependents.
I hope I have been able to help you out in some way.
The U.S State Department has announced that applicants for U.S visas will have to submit their social media names and five years’ worth of email addresses and phone numbers as part of the application process.
BBCreports that the proposal would affect about 14.7 million people annually.
Some diplomatic and official visa applicants will be exempt from the new rules.
“We are constantly working to find mechanisms to improve our screening processes to protect US citizens, while supporting legitimate travel to the United States,” the department reportedly said.
Gulf News reports that the U.S Embassy in Abu Dhabi confirmed the news. It quoted the embassy as saying:
This update — which we initially announced last year in the Federal Register — is a result of the President’s March 6, 2017, Memorandum on Implementing Heightened Screening and Vetting of Applications for Visas and other Immigration Benefits and Section 5 of Executive Order 13780 regarding implementing uniform screening and vetting standards for visa applications.
We already request certain contact information, travel history, family member information and previous addresses from all visa applicants. Collecting this additional information from visa applicants will strengthen our process for vetting these applicants and confirming their identity.
In that past, only people who needed additional scrutiny are requested to submit their social media names.
Mariam Momodu Is an international trade lawyer, Ph.D. candidate, education advocate and CEO of Get In Education Consulting. She obtained her degree in law from the University of Ibadan, Nigeria in 2012 and went on to become the first female president of the law faculty students’ association in over 30 years of the association’s existence. In addition, she also graduated with the best result ever recorded from the law faculty in Ibadan in 35 years and won about 10 prizes upon graduation. To date, her academic record has not been beaten. However, the law students association has had another female president since my tenure. In 2015, Mariam obtained a Master of Laws (LL.M.) degree from the University of Cambridge, where she was awarded the prestigious Commonwealth Shared Scholarship and the Cambridge Trust Scholarship. She is now a Doctoral Candidate at the University of Toronto Faculty of Law. Where she specialize in international trade law. Last year, she was awarded the most prestigious scholarship for doctorate candidates in Canada, the Vanier Canada Graduate Scholarship., making her the only black person from the University of Toronto to be awarded that honour and one of the 6 scholars of African descent in the whole of Canada that was given this award.
The scholar whose Inspiring story went viral weeks back shares her journey with me in this mind blowing interview.
Growing Up
I was very fortunate to be raised in a family that valued education. My father died when I was very young, but my mother was determined to provide the best education that she could afford. My siblings were also my mentors as they encouraged me to excel in my chosen endeavours and always provided the necessary resources.
I would read my sister’s novels, read books I found in my brother’s rooms and devour books that my mother would borrow weekly from the British Council Library. I remember when I turned 10 years old, I was asked what gift I wanted… I asked for more novels and books and I got them. Apart from being very academic, I have always been interested in looking for ways to improve my community.
In addition, I have been blessed to have encouraging teachers who took an interest in my education and always went beyond the average to ensure I succeeded. From Mrs. Obajimi of Sonbeam Preparatory School, to my teachers at the International School Ibadan, teachers at the Educational Advancement Centre, Ibadan as well as the lecturers at the faculty of law, University of Ibadan and the Nigerian law school. My teachers always encouraged me to be inquisitive and achieve my dreams, so I credit them for a lot of the success I have achieved today.
Mariam Momodu at the Arab and African Youth Forum
Breaking 30 years record at the University of Ibadan
When I graduated from the University of Ibadan in 2012, I graduated with a 6.7/7 which is the highest CGPA ever recorded from the law faculty in over 30 years. I am eagerly waiting to meet the student who will break the record, as it is long overdue!
In reality when I entered UI, my goal was to graduate with a 7.0, a perfect score from the law faculty. I remember confiding in two senior students about my goals and they laughed at me! They told me it was impossible and if I was going to make a first class from the law faculty, the best I would obtain was a grade close to 6/7. Once I got that negative feedback, I realised I was being like Joseph in the Bible who was sharing his dreams with the wrong people. I decided to keep this dream in my head and continue to work.
I eventually did not finish with a 7.0 largely because I was involved in politics in my 4th year (and that took a lot of time from my studies) but I am proud to say that in my 3rd year, my CGPA was 6.96/7 and in my 5th year, my CGPA was also 6.9/7. So even though I aimed for the moon and did not hit it, at least, I fell among the stars and was able to break the existing record. My academic record in the University of Ibadan opened the door for me to obtain a masters in law from the University of Cambridge on a Commonwealth Shared Scholarship. I would also argue that my grades from university continue to open doors for me today.
I really love that I went to the University of Ibadan. I am the first to admit that the education sector in Nigeria needs a lot of work (and the change needs to start from the government) but I must admit that despite difficulty with funding and so on, University of Ibadan is one of the schools in Nigeria that continues to uphold a very high standard of education. I knew the current vice-chancellor while I was a student and he was one of the people who, in my experience would listen to students’ concerns. I have maintained a relationship with him and my professors in the law school and from time to time I communicate with them to give feedback on my progress or to ask for advice.
I was happy that the school administration shared my story and more importantly, I was very humbled when I read messages from people who were inspired by my story.
Canadian Scholarship & it’s impact as a black woman in a foreign land
I was ecstatic when I received the Vanier last year. We could not announce the award for a while, so I was just sitting on good news! When I applied for the scholarship, I hoped I would win because winning the scholarship will send a signal to other people like me that they too can succeed in academia no matter who or where they were.
The Vanier is a very competitive scholarship that ranks students based on their leadership potential, academic record as well as the potential of their doctorate research. Candidates go through several rounds of application starting from the faculty level to the university level and then national level. I am very thankful that I was nominated by my faculty as this started the process. Apart from my research potential, I really believe my application stood out because of my academic record as well as my leadership experience.
As a student and even after I graduated from University, I always pushed myself to make improvements no matter where I was. In primary and secondary school, I was selected as the head-girl because of my leadership potential and in University I was also elected as the President of the Law Students’ Society, the first woman to be so elected in over 30 years.
For me, leadership has always been about service and trying to make my immediate environment better and it was quite interesting to see that my past leadership experience played a huge role in getting the scholarship.
This is actually the first time I am thinking of it as a viral story! I would say the reception has been very positive. Many people have asked how they can achieve the same or similar goals and I am inspired to continue to provide support to other people through my company Get In Education Consulting (www.getineduconsulting.com) as well as on a personal basis.
My Inspiration
I think I am inspired by problems. I describe myself as an “extra” person because I am always thinking of the next problem to solve. Any Nigerian that is immune to the problems of the country needs to wake up! My core areas of interest are international trade (particularly intra-African trade and improving connectivity in Africa) ,which is the core of my PhD Thesis , as well as education, which is the core of the business I run at GetIn Education Consulting.So, I am inspired to act when I see problems as my interests are driven by the problems that need to be solved in these areas.
Apart from my family, I am also inspired by people who have overcome adversity and are giving back. Dr. Deola Olubamiji is one of my mentors and people like her inspire me to do more.
Reward
I think the greatest reward is seeing someone say “you inspired me to pursue XYZ”. A lot of people reach out to me online, particularly on Instagram @mariammomodu_ and they tell me how I inspired them to pursue their dreams, study hard or achieve a goal and this is very rewarding.I was also very happy when another woman was elected as the president of the law students’ society in UI, because it showed that the glass ceiling had been broken there.
Challenges of being a female scholar trying to break boundaries both home and abroad
I have faced several challenges and I am still facing several! One of the biggest challenges has been adjusting to a new environment with new expectations. Academia is a constant learning curve for me. So, I need to really know how to conduct myself as an academic and ensure I am ticking the right boxes that will make me competitive after school. Funding is also a big challenge for many people, but thankfully, the Vanier came through!
On Giving up
There have been so many moments! January this year I had to prepare for an examination that would determine whether I progressed to the next level of the PhD. It was very intense and there were many days I questioned if I was doing the right thing, but in the end, I came out successful. Also, during the PhD, you have to apply for grants, submit papers and apply for workshops. I am successful with many applications, but I also face rejection. Initially, I used to be bothered by rejection, but now, I know the path to success is filled with rejection, so I have to persevere no matter how I feel.
Being a Woman of Rubies
I am a woman of rubies because I am not defined by what I own or what you can see. I am so much more. I am a woman who keeps striving to make an impact on her environment by touching one life at a time with the hope of making my corner of the world better.
Advice for women who are scared to break boundaries and be more
If the voice in your head is not encouraging you, then don’t listen to it! A lot of times, we are holding ourselves back because we think we are inadequate when we are actually more than enough. Research has shown that black women are more likely to have feelings of inadequacy compared to many other groups of people and these feelings of inadequacy have has been described more technically as imposter phenomenon.
I know fear can be crippling, but you have to find a way to overcome it. What I do is to keep myself accountable by sharing my dreams with those who understand my vision. I have mentors that encourage me and chastise me as needed. I am also learning to live “uncomfortable”. This means that I am constantly reaching for things that I think are difficult to achieve no matter how I feel.
Appreciation of Black Women
I think black women need to stop waiting to be appreciated. Instead we need to just be who we are “boss babes!” You don’t need anyone’s permission to excel. Neither do you need permission to be proud of your achievements. Where you need to, demand your accolades, demand that promotion and so on, but do not wait for external validation before you appreciate yourself.
If I could change one thing in the Education Sector
Education should be fun. Students should be excited to go to school because there is something for them; something that can relate to. If I could change one thing, I would change the kind of syllabus we have in many universities in Nigeria. I would work to decolonise our syllabus and make it contextual to Africa and the 21st century. Oh, I would also ensure that 30% of Nigeria’s budget for the next 30 years is dedicated to education.
How to reach me
I enourage readers to visit www.getineduconsulting.com and read all the free resources we have available, as well as inspiring stories that can get you started on your journey to using education as a tool to change your life. Also follow @getinedu on Instagram and Twitter as well as @mariammomodu_ on Instagram
So, you think boys don’t need attention? Think again
The Affirmed Boy, is a book by Nigerian writer Queenette Enilama, that could change the way we raise our boys. At a time when the negative effects of social media and peer pressure, are wreaking havoc on the developmental process of the boy child, The Affirmed Boy is a book that gives boys an affirmation that they are enough and do not need to succumb to all the pressure to belong.
They can be positive influencers and immune to negative influence. Each page contains a unique lesson, in the form of an affirmation, that tackles a specific challenge in the life of a growing boy. Following the declaration of the affirmation, there is a supporting biblical scripture and a short but boy-tailored prayer, he would love to say. The affirmation page is followed by a Notes page where the reader can write thoughts and feelings about the lesson learned that day. Each page is colorful, with images to enhance its aesthetic value and make for a pleasurable read. At the end of the book, the affirmed boy would have begun to discover himself and develop self-awareness, self-worth and self-confidence, as well as, a well-rounded and emotionally sound.
The Affirmed Boy is a daily companion developmental book for boys between the ages of 6 and 14 years.
The Affirmed Boy is published by TAF PUBLISHING VENTURES Published: 18/05/2019 Available online at https://paystack.com/pay/affirmationforboys or you can pay into Zenith Bank account 2008632045, then send request, with proof of payment to WhatsApp at the number listed below. Queenette Enilama is a writer, certified Emotional Intelligence Coach and Co-Founder of the “NoBoyLeftBehind” Initiative, with a contagious passion for the boy child. She has written several stories, reviewed on a number of online platforms and is set to launch a series of E-books in the coming months. Her No Boys Left Behind initiative, trains, and grooms young boys and teenagers into excellent young men, with a different and responsible perspective on society. For more information about The Affirmed Boy, or to schedule an interview, with Queenette, please contact her on 09096780595 or email her at qenilama@gmail.com
The ability to work effectively with others on a task
involves learning to listen well, respecting the opinions of others,
communicating effectively and embracing each other’s strength to accomplish a
goal.
The ability to work effectively with others on a task
involves learning to listen well, respecting the opinions of others,
communicating effectively and embracing each other’s strength to accomplish a
goal.
So you just got a new job and you’re wondering what to do to
be successful on the job? This article seeks to address necessary skills you
would need to be successful on a job regardless of the level of your role.
Ability to handle
pressure
If you work in a fast paced environment, you’re most likely
to work under extreme pressure. This means having to deal with constraints out
of your control. Unexpected events or problems are bound to come up in the
workplace, you should learn how to work well in these circumstances, so you
don’t panic or lose sight of the job.
Collaboration/Team
work
Most workplace environment involves relating to different
kinds of people. The ability to work effectively with others on a task involves
learning to listen well, respecting the opinions of others, communicating
effectively and embracing each other’s strength to accomplish a goal.
Self-Management/Motivation
The ability to manage yourself to accomplish the required
task is important for success on the role. No manager would like to manage
someone that would need frequent hand holding. You need to take the initiative
and be accountable for every success or failure. In a workplace where most employees are
dissatisfied for various reasons which tend to affect productivity,
self-motivation is an important skill to develop which gives you the strength
to perform exceptionally.
Flexibility
The workplace is constantly changing and only people who are
flexible enough to the changes will thrive. You have to be willing and able to
adapt in order to meet individual and business needs.
Ability to accept
criticism
Nobody is totally perfect, so there would be instances were
colleagues and bosses would be direct with you and tell you as it is. Some may
be emotionally intelligent to make it constructive while some may not be. Learn
to take corrections and avoid justifying or making excuses. Learn from the
mistakes and move on. Don’t weep over spilled milk.
Emotional
intelligence
Fundamental aspects of emotional intelligence include
empathy, self-awareness, social skills, self-regulation and motivation. Being
emotionally intelligent helps you to understand your emotions, manage your
emotions as well as manage other emotions.
Time management
This is an important skill to have, especially when there
are numerous tasks within a limited time frame. One thing that has helped me is
having a To-Do list. This helps me ensure that I am deliberate in all my
activities. Google Calendar is a lifesaver, but most people think it’s too much
stress to use it.
Every morning, I write down my tasks, set a timeline for
myself, fix some on my calendar, leave some allowance for distractions and
stick with it.
Also, learn to say no to things. Learn to prioritize; and
most importantly, avoid unnecessary distractions that eat into your time.
Problem solving
Problems will definitely arise in the workplace and you were employed to solve a problem if not, you won’t be hired. For me, a star employee is someone that sees a solution in every problem. Have the mindset that nothing is impossible and work towards it. If you’re the kind of person that always goes back to their boss for issues when they arise, you may have a problem. Go with possible solutions and steps you have taken to address an issue.
On a recent Instagram post, Mo Abudu shared tips on how we can overcome our fears and start achieving successes. Above all, the need to believe we are as important like the important people we look up to.
Read her note here
….. I have said it time and time again, IF YOUR DREAMS DO NOT SCARE YOU, THEN THEY ARE SIMPLY NOT BIG ENOUGH!!! Please be rest assured that FEAR is part of the process.
Often times fear is caused by a lack of preparation. Overcoming fear is about being prepared and mapping out your plan. This leads me to the most popular reason you all gave for not achieving your dreams–PROCRASTINATION!!!
I strongly believe FEAR AND PROCRASTINATION work hand in hand. Once you map out your plan and start to work your plan – taking it in baby steps or big leaps and jumps depending on how you approach things, you will start to see progress. This is where PROCRASTINATION ends!!! As I always say, “IF YOU CAN THINK IT – YOU CAN DO IT”.
The challenge is how many of us are moving beyond “thinking” – we have to get up and “Do It”. Please do not be fooled by thinking the most successful people in this world are more intelligent than you or better than you – the secret is that they get up and “do” everyday! Never giving up! Never getting tired! Never taking no for an answer. This is the key to success. So please start drawing up those plans now and start doing!#MoAbudu
Favour Osiri Wisdom is an encourager, a certified marriage and relationship mentor with The Institute of Marriage and Family Affairs USA. A certified negotiation and conflict analysis expert with (USIP). United States Institute for Peace. She is the coordinator of the foremost marriage academy in the south south region of Nigeria; The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy in the city of Port Harcourt which equips both married and intending marriage couples to acquire skills to build the marriage of their dreams.
Favour is passionate about women and girls. Having suffered so much under intense poverty growing up as the first child amongst seven children. She founded the Model Woman Foundation in 2016 where she mentors weekly organizing online seminars. She and her Pastor husband are presenters of a weekly relationship show called “For better for us” on Facebook . She recently authored two books tilted How Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T and Before You Marry.
Favour believes her background cannot keep her back on the ground and she is determined to help restore more homes. She shares her story in this inspiring and educative interview.
Childhood My childhood is full of interesting events that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I didn’t have luxury growing up so being the first child amongst 7 children; my mind was constantly processing on what next to do to make money.
I learnt how to braid hair at age 10 and every Christmas season I made money from braiding hair I wanted to go to school at all cost because at that time I was going to be the first graduate in my compound ( both in my maternal and paternal home) .The poverty around me was just too much, I sold oranges during its season, I was involved in the “bole” business (roasted fish and plantain) which I inherited from my mother.
I ran a bukka joint in a mechanic garage at age 19. In 1998 I went to NYSC orientation camp in the city where I lived at that time to do food business.
When I saw the corp members come to buy food from my stand, I remember weeping one day because I wanted to be like them. I thank God I later saved up money from my mechanic garage food business to buy forms into the Polytechnic and went on to become the first graduate in my family (maternal and paternal) with many other degrees. All of these experiences are instrumental to what I do now which is to encourage and stir women around me to rise up
Inspiration behind The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy and The Model woman foundation The wisdom driven marriage academy kicked off in 2016 and has brought illumination to a lot of singles and married couples. The testimonies are amazing.
The Modelwoman foundation is my gift to womanhood. It was founded in 2016. I am an encourager so I never fail to shamelessly use myself as an example of a woman who dare to excel against all odds I could speak to someone for hours with the intent to make sure they move to another level.
I was doing this with women around me and I saw them began to soar and felt I could reach more women globally using technology so in 2016, we started on whatsapp with few women and today we are grateful. We now hold an online conference tagged “The Complete woman Conference and a live conference tagged “Ignite”
My books; how Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T & Before You Marry
How not to marry an I.D.I.O.T came as a result of my personal experience of manifesting these traits in the past and my interaction with intending couples and married couples alike. I have seen people marry with all the red flags telling them not to and the marriage breaks after few months. Some people also think marriage does not require skills but it does seriously.
Infact it is the most skilled intensive venture I know because you are dealing with the emotions and destiny of people. I.D.I.O.T is an acronym for traits which are red flags telling you not to continue with the relationship. People with Idiotic attitude are not ready to learn, they want to do marriage the way they like.
A lot of marriages are going through pain because of these Idiotic attitudes. The beautiful thing about the book is that it proffers solution on how to overcome these traits as a single or married person and gives you a step by step approach to end a forever idiotic relationship.
Before You Marry is a compilation of 50 things (There might be more) to consider before you marry. The book is to help intending couples with some of the relevant questions and discussions they need to have before they walk the aisle we live in the age where people see marriage as the next thing to check on their list without asking relevant questions. Questions reveal a lot of things.
Impact of Model Woman The modelwoman foundation has been a blessing to a lot of women. Most of these women I have never met because 90% of our engagement is online.
The vision of the foundation is to build excellent legacies so we deployed the strategy of pray and learn. Weekly we pray and organize seminar sessions addressing different issues. We have testimonies of over 60 women who have started new businesses in the group, women who had no idea on what business to start when they joined us, we have marriages restored through the seminars in the group, we have women discovering their purpose and pursuing them.
We have women who have been spiritually revived, the sessions on parenting was life transforming for the women. we have single mums, divorcees in our midst whose self esteem has been restored and are doing so well. We have ladies who were so deep into being side chic to married men end the relationships and turned a new leaf, we have married women involved in illicit relationships end the relationships and became purpose driven.
Challenges I work with women mostly, the challenge has been the limiting mindset where some of them believe they can’t get to certain heights because of their gender.
Another challenge is some people think getting married is the next thing to be checked on their list without adequately preparing for marriage. They prepare for wedding and not marriage. Just like flying a plane requires skills, marriage, even relationship in the work place requires skills else the marriaage will crash like a plane manned by an ignorant person.
Some couples are excited and working hard ontheir marriage, it is not that they have not had issues, they were only equipped with tools to handle even challenging seasons in their marriage.
Other Projects I have a passion for women, I also want them to pass the same passion to their daughters so we have the Mum and Daughter Ball (MDB) which is aimed at creating that intentional bonding relationship.
The maiden edition will hold this year. I also have a project for single mums and single dads which will come up before the end of this year. The big one is the Wisdom driven marriage retreat and resorts. A place for couples to unwind and bond.
Reward The testimonies of changed lives. One incident is a single lady who has been in a relationship with a married man for many years and depended on him for financial assistance. She told me she had always wanted to end the relationship but couldn’t because of the financial assistance she was getting.
Through the sessions on the modelwoman platform, she was able to break free and has an amazing life today working and making a living. So my greatest rewards are women who have found themselves and are unapologetically living their best lives.
On the cause of broken marriages lately Ignorance is a big issue. I am a firm believer that whatever you are not skilled in, you will kill and if you keep doing it for a long time, it can kill you.. People go to different schools to acquire knowledge in different fields and that’s why they do well. Communication skills, negotiations skills, parenting skills, financial skills and many other skills to build a solid marriage.. These skills are supposed to be acquired pre and post wedding.
Most pre-marital counseling curriculum are not updated to even handle today’s peculiar challenges. When these skills are lacking, marital frustrations begins to set it.. Many people want it fast and are not ready to be patient. Another example is when you do not recognize that the spouse you married 20 years ago has changed and you also need to change.( change here means growth)
To women who are about to get married
Discover yourself before you say yes to a marriage proposal. Your purpose in life will guide your choice. Be economically empowered.
Go into marriage as an asset not a liability. Be equipped with the skills and ensure your would be husband does same. Do not give in to pressure to marry anyone just because everyone around you is getting married. You will stand alone when the heat comes as those who pressured you will be no where to be found.
Give the relationship time. Ask questions. Because I am a Christian and believe that God ordained marriage, I will encourage that women talk to God about their proposed spouse or marriage. Also don’t be carried away by emotions, ensure both of you are agreeable.
My Inspiration My husband is my number one inspiration and cheer leader. The way he handles pressures and responds when there is a challenge is inspiring.
My 3 wise children constantly push me to study because of the enormous potential they carry. Every day I want to become a better parent who will continually unleash their potential for them to impact their world.
Being a woman of Rubies Wow! I decided long ago I was going to make a positive mark on every woman I meet. So intentionally mentoring them and ensuring they follow the process to make progress is what I think makes me a woman of rubies.
When we as women collaborate and not compete we will achieve so much because value is in people not places.
God has trapped what we need in relationships. Having the skills to find and nurture these relationships as women will make life so easy. So I must commend Women of Rubies for what they are doing by celebrating women. That’s the spirit!
Final words of advice for women all over the world Lookout for other women in your community, office, neighborhood. Collaborate, don’t compete. Aspire to the highest level God has designed for you. Don’t think because you are a woman you are inferior; you are the express image of God. Learn from other women. Celebrate a sister whose time of shinning has come and you will attract same.
You are offered a nice job position, in a nice communication agency, well located. You feel great.This was supposed to be the biggest announcement of 2019 so far.
First day : everyone is smiling at you, welcoming, but you don’t know how to act, feeling everyone’s look upon you. 15 days later, you’re done. Nobody speaks to you.
My first (and peculiar) reaction : asking Google about that. Because that state of loneliness hit me so hard that something in my head told be to check on the internet if I could share this with other people. I found several psychological/kind of depressing articles, but didn’t find anything appropriate. These were just a bunch of people complaining without giving advices about it.
Being connected to a social circle has never been so important as far as Facebook, Twitter Instagram or Snapchat have (or at least one of them) taken over our lives. (Really ?). But Internet is another problem.
At work, indifference is the greatest contempt
People at work can be even more cruel and can really destroy you for no particular reason. When you’re highly implicated, work hard, do the best you can and all of a sudden you feel so bad because you see people gathering themselves to talk, make private jokes, working (or acting like working) closely together, trust me, it is normal to feel left behind.
Welcome to ostracism. A land where your imagination is tortured everyday. It is not about being sensitive, because sensitivity is different from one person to another. It is strictly about being ignored.
So how can you handle at work ?
Right now, your boss is not talking to you anymore, and you’re one of these scared “millenial” that thinks that work should be a place where you can express yourself, in a blossoming workspace, with some intricate and thrilling frameworks, imagining stories that matters. And you’re not doing any of these things. You’re not fitting to the work spirit of the company, and now, panic-stricken.
All social interactions with your coworkers are slowly going down, to the point of not even saying “hello/goodbye”. It’s going wrong for real. And this ostracism can lead to depression, because feeling useless and hopeless
1 — Stop complaining
Did I mention that I’m French ? I think it is truly specific to my country. People are complaining every minute in advertising/digital agencies. About clients, about emails, about the amount of work, about the boss… This is clearly annoying. Their time spent complaining could be used doing real-work no ?
So if you’re being ostracized, be strong, and simply face this fact as it is. Being down-to-earth is very useful when facing that kind of situation. It is important to visualise the situation to better go forward and being less stressful.
2 — Dig up your mind
Ok so, now that you have understood the situation, let the anger and worries go and stop trying to make clumsy conclusions or getting ahead of yourself, asking “but why is this happening, what did I do, did I made something wrong, maybe I’m not good enough…” In every overrated advertising agencies, people are mostly the same, so you will face this situation in every one of them. Just sayin’. I’ve been working in agencies for 4 years, and it’s been exactly the same, most of the people are faking work.
“Think outside the box, make things that change things” (and other posh mottos), they said. Agencies are mainly copy and paste. They are baking and re-baking ideas since 1980’s, but with higher prices, using the same Istock / Getty / Shutterstock/ Thinkstock image banks. Using the same reportings with so low Facebook interactions, not even asking themselves what people would like to see when interacting with brands. It is really funny since I’m writing this from my desk, in a nice advertising agency, observing people writing emails, sending Gif or tagging themselves on the last Tasty recipe on Facebook.
If you are feeling alone and like you’re in the spam box, it’s seriously no big deal. You have now time to think about yourself and step back at how different you are, simply by speaking your mind and asserting yourself .
3 — Just do something else with your free time
Now that you are barely transparent, you can do things far more interesting than nothing. Meaning : “Great ! I’m out of this sham and mockery system.” Read, take time for yourself, leave your phone, learn something you didn’t know. In a nutshell, be curious.
If you read this, you can now take a deep breath and play down the situation. And if you want more cool, follow me 🙂
Adefunke Anurukem is the Managing Director of Auto Dome Limited, one of the very few female entrepreneurs operating in the male-dominated Nigerian automotive industry. She talks about the challenges and motivation in a business majorly run by men
Let’s meet you please My name is Adefunke Anurukem, an alumnus of Olabisi Onabanjo University (OOU) and Fate Foundation and Education Development Centre (EDC). I am the Managing Director of Auto Dome Limited. Auto Dome is a one-stop shop for all automotive needs. Our services include automobile sales, provision of after sales services, fleet management, logistics and sale of car care products. I am also the current president of the Women in Automotive Sector Association (WASA), our aim is to bring together all women in the automotive business and discuss our challenges, fears, future aspirations, and proffer solutions. We provide assistance and empowerment to new women entrepreneurs in the automotive business.
How many years have you been into this business? I have over 17 years experience working in the automotive industry in Nigeria. I worked with several Nigerian automotive franchises before branching out and starting Auto Dome in 2010.
How has the exchange rate affected the automobile business? Our business is solely dependent on foreign exchange, since most of the cars are produced and assembled outside the country, as a result, exchange rate fluctuations over the past few years have significantly affected the Automobile industry, with the 2015 devaluation of the Naira being the worst hit. Another challenge faced by the automotive industry is the increase in Custom duties, which has significantly increased the cost of doing business. In the face of these challenges, we at Auto Dome have had to re-strategise and optimise our business processes in order to stay afloat.
How has your experience been like in relation to the number of years you’ve been in the industry? The business climate in Nigeria is ever evolving. When we started Auto Dome in 2010, we had our own fair share of challenges. We made some mistakes, because we were naïve in some areas of our operations. Initially, our focus was solely on car sales, but after careful analysis of clients’ demands over the years, we have added a range of services and products.
Now that we are over eight years in the business, we are looking at opening more branches nationwide and signing a franchise deal to represent a reputable international brand here in Nigeria. One key factor in setting up a business in any industry is to have first-hand industry knowledge, product knowledge, and understanding of government policies and how it affects your industry. In my experience, business has been challenging, interesting, tasking, but very fulfilling, in spite of all the odds against business owners in Nigeria. Everyday comes with its own unique challenges that you must device a unique ways to solve. However, solving tasking problems in business expands your capacity to face more and get good results
How did you grow the business and what were the challenges? Growing the business has been solely by the grace of God and passion for what I do. Whether it’s car sales, servicing, leasing, fleet management or selling care products, were solving problems and adding value. As an ambassador of my brand, the most important thing has been to identify customer needs and provide solutions that best suit them. By doing these we have been able to grow the business over the years. Challenges growing up were majorly pressure from the society seeing you as a woman and setting limits on how far you can reach. Moreover, I have always loved to challenge myself and tread where others are afraid to tread. I try to not see any limit to what I can achieve, and that has continued to give me the energy to conquer challenges.
What are your inspiring feedbacks? Oh! I’ve had some interesting feedbacks in my time. You hear things like, “Wow! A woman selling cars? “You behave like a man!’ At first I used to feel offended but as I grew in the business I began to see it as a compliment. Also some clients have come back and said “I find you very professional in your dealings.” Some of the most important customer feedbacks, however, are expressions of satisfaction with products and services, repeat purchases from clients and good referrals. These are key for us and we get loads of such.
Where do you see your business in the next five years? In five years, we would have opened more branches, in at least three more Nigerian cities and have become a franchise holder for Nigerian-assembled automobiles with specifications cutting across the board, thereby adding to economy growth in the country.
What’s your advice to younger ones? Keep your eyes on the ball. There are a lot of distractions out there, but remain focused and have a plan. Don’t go into business because you want to outdo the other person. Develop a passion for what you do, because when the tough times come that’s what will sustain you. Lastly, always have a CAN DO spirit and believe in yourself because the sky is just the starting point.
What is your motivation? Firstly, God, because without him I am nothing. I also have a solid family support, without their constant love and affection, I would have been much more affected by the highs and lows of business life. Thirdly, myself, I am a self-starter, you are the only one who can pull yourself from your inner strength genuinely. Finally, I have other mentors, accountability partners and colleagues in the industry that I look up to. I also read articles, books and reviews of selected role to stay motivated.
To what extent have you leveraged on technology in growing your business: I cannot over emphasize how much technology has helped in growing our business. In the early years sales were made mostly by personal contact. In that regard, a lot of staff were required to go out and look for prospective clients, which in itself proved quite difficult, because information was not readily available. However, with the improvements in digital technology, business can be done faster and at lower operational costs. The advent of interconnectivity and globalization (the early days of the fourth industrial revolution) has been phenomenal! We have been able to transact business successfully with numerous customers all around the world, thereby growing our clientele base. It is so amazing that we have even made major sales off of WhatsApp Status updates!
I am sure there are still a lot of positive technological advancements to come and we at AutoDome will continue to strategically position ourselves in order to harness its power to achieve our aims and objectives in this business.
