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These ones are another kind of mischance.
Don’t get me wrong, nothing beats a partner who is really into you. A partner interested in every detail of your welfare is fantastic but borderline is when he is becoming too interested in your every detail.
I get, your partner wants to spend every waking moment with you but if this is infringing your productivity or happiness, it sure is a sign you don’t want to ignore.
It is not bad to want to want to be in control of happenings/situations in your life and as a matter of fact, knowing you have or are in control of your relationship can be a morale booster, a push on self-esteem but when your partner becomes dominantly manipulative and controlling, it is only a matter of time before you lose yourself in that relationship.
Obsessive partners are controlling and very manipulative. They want to be the final say, scratch that, they want to be the only say in the relationship. They don’t take no for an answer. It’s either their way or their way. They pressure you till you cave in.
You know what happens with controlling behavior, it fasts degenerates into emotional abuse.
Let’s be real, most violent partners/ relationships don’t start out being outrightly violent. There are usually the tell tale signs.
These are the signs that you need to look out for.
It is okay to get jealous. I mean, who doesn’t get sweaty palms with threats? However, extreme and excessive jealousy is very dangerous.
Excessive jealousy is when your partner has a constant conversation in their head that you are cheating or will cheat and so puts extreme and dehumanizing measures in place to curb this.
Wait, isn’t love supposed to be accompanied with trust?
Trust is fundamental in a relationship. Excessively jealous partners don’t have this. They think their spouses are so vulnerable, they can cheat with anybody. They suffer so much insecurity, it is limiting their reasoning.
Another thing an obsessive partner does is help or mandates you to cut ties with your loved one. This is very dangerous. They try to pull off all plugs that may be your succor should their be a fall out. They are sometimes harsh and brash in their approach of severing ties or they may subtly orchestrate ways to let these loved ones go. They are skilled in manipulation so this is no feat at all.
How do they achieve this? They make you feel guilty. You eat and drink guilt. You never give them enough attention they say. They make it seem like the love they have for you is so overwhelming, they can’t live without you.
Messed up reasoning? Yup! Their reasoning is not only messed up, they mess with yours too.
Your self esteem begins to dwindle till you lose touch with reality.
Experts manipulators they are!
If your relationship is not in its early stages where infatuation is allowed to some extent, you may want to check out what those extreme traits you noticed in your partner is about.

As Comedian/Motivational speaker, Alibaba, shared via Instagram this morning.

“People who have only sex to offer are the ones who get jealous, suspicious and quarrelsome. You know why? Because they know that you might go out one day and find someone who has more than sex to offer. So what does that leave them? So they start to put their spouse in the defensive.

Go take a critical look at most of those relationships where the guy or babe has only one thing to offer, they will keep talking of security. They want reassurances always. Tell me you love. Promise you will not leave me. Are you sure you are not playing with me? Am I the only one in your life? Do you really love me? Are you tired of this relationship? Do you still love me? …. blah blah blah! When all you have is a hammer everything is a nail. That is what sums up these kind of people. That explains why they get so angry when you are away from them for so long. Their only stake in the relationships needs to be activated regularly to remain relevant in the scheme of things and in their spouses thoughts.

“That also explains why many who marry because the sex is good, find out later that good sex doesn’t pay bills. Neither does it cook, run the home, guarantee respect, make your spouse a person you can rub minds with and not skin. You see you may not know it, but I will tell you, you may be extremely beautiful. That is good. But like sex, if that beauty is all there is to you, in the relationship, the day that beauty is discounted by someone else who has brain and beauty body and cooking skills, with a good dose of home management, last last na modeling agency go need you. So you are a guy, and all you have in your value proposition brief case is muscles. Hiaaaaam. No common sense. Nothing else. So Iet’s look at the sex sef… after a while, its bargaining value in the relationships could diminish. When that happens what will be your new bargaining chip? Same goes for cash. I know a top society lady who married a big time Lagos big boy, when she knew he was in bad times, she vamoosed! And went to kids for another man. How could she? She could, and she did. Some people too, if the marry you because of your Dad’s political office, when the term of office is running out, they run out too.”

Actress Regina Chukwu who lost her husband to the cold hands of death in June 2003, says she doesn’t like being referred to as a single mother. Speaking in an interview with The Nation, Regina said

“I don’t like being referred to as a single parent. The fact that I lost my husband does not make me a single parent. I just want to take God, for the way they have turned out to be. I am my daughter’s best friend”.

On why she hasn’t remarried, Regina says it is because of her kids.

“Actually, it is because of them that I decided not to remarry then. Like I said earlier, I won’t call myself a single parent, because I am Igbo. The fact that you have lost your husband does not mean that you are still not married to that family. So as it is traditionally I am still married to my husband family. I am still their wife and if they want to do any family function, I am considered and called upon. I still belong to the community wives meeting. When my husband passed away, I was called and asked if I wanted to remarry. The condition was for me to leave their children and go ahead. But I looked at my kids and they were still very young and I decided to stay. My children have been asking if I won’t remarry; they want a baby sister or brother. But I don’t know what God has in plan for me. I am open to whatever God is says will happen to me. If I decide to remarry now, it means whoever I want to get married to will pay my bride price and my parents will then go back to my late husband’s family to return the bride price they paid on me. It is tradition telling them this lady is no longer your wife. But when it is not done, I still remain their wife. I still paid my mother-in-law a visit last year”she said Regina says it hasn’t being easy being a widow “It hasn’t been easy. I started my career about 13 years ago and my kids were still very young at that time. But today, my daughter is 16 and my son is 14, I am grateful to God. But not that they are grown up, it gives me more time to be able to pursue my dream to the level I want to take it to. Not that I have attained that dream, because I am yet to receive some awards that I want my name on, but so far, it has been great. It is not that I don’t worry about their welfare, but I have my mom and my siblings to fall back on their wellbeing, wherever I am not around”.

The Ghana Women of the Year Honours by Glitz Africa Magazine happened last night, celebrating some of the most outstanding Ghanaian women in various industries.

Women like popular actress Joselyn Dumas, fashion stylist Karen Kane and others were in attendance. Some Honourees recognised for their talent and contribution to their industries were Film Producer and Director, Shirley Frimpong-Manso (Honouree: Excellence in Arts), Designer and Fashion School owner, Joyce Ababio (Honouree: Fashion) and other amazing women.

See photos from the 2016 edition of the event, here and first photos from last night below.

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Actress Joselyn Dumas in She by Bena

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

OAP Berla Mundi

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Fashion Stylist Karen Kane

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Adina

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Victoria Michaels

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Honouree Fashion Force, Designer Joyce Ababio

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Host, Doreen Andoh

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Film Producer/Director Shirley Frimpong-Manso, Honouree Excellence in Arts

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honours

Film Producer/Director, Shirley Frimpong-Manso

First Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year HonoursFirst Photos from the Ghana Women of the Year Honourssource Bellanaija

After many years, I’ve finally uncovered the key to a healthy church-going experience: avoiding people. Not all people of course, but there are certain types of people you won’t see me hanging around on Sunday morning.

I know it may seem mean, un-Christian even! But trust me, it’s a necessity. A survival skill, of sorts. Avoiding awkward conversations, peer pressure, and distractions before, during, and after services has revitalized my whole church life.

This secret is something I’ve held very close to my heart, but now out of sheer kindness, I’m going to share with you my no-fail strategy on finding the safe zones at church.

Without further ado, here are the nine Christians you don’t want to sit beside on Sunday morning.

  1. The Unrequited Crush

Whether he won’t stop texting you or keeps asking you out on dates despite your polite declinations, it’s always a good idea to avoid The Unrequited Crush.

The Safe Zone: This safe zone is a lot less about where you are and more about who you’re with. Keep a safety zone of friends around and it’s much harder to get cornered. Bonus: by making sure you two are never alone, you don’t have to hear comments like, “You sure would make sure a cute couple!” Talk about an awkward moment.

  1. The Opera Singer

The Opera Singer has so much vibrato that there’s a rumor she’s the real reason the walls of Jericho came tumbling down. The great news is that God thinks this worship is beautiful. The bad news is you don’t. It can be quite the distraction during your time of worship.

The Safe Zone: You can sit as close as you’d like to the person, as long as it’s not directly in front of them. So you’re in the clear if you’re anywhere behind them, but I recommend a safe zone of three seats to their left or right.

  1. The Loud Whisperers

Loud Whisperers have this burning desire to comment on everything. Sadly, they were never probably taught to whisper. Unfortunately, Loud Whisperers tend to travel in packs so the occasional comment turns into a family discussion that’s almost as loud as the preacher himself.

The Safe Zone: Safe Zones may varies depending on a person’s volume but the only way to stay focused on the sermon is to stay out of earshot.

4. The Walking Bottle of Body Spray

Too much scented body spray. Maybe these people don’t have sensitive noses, or they don’t believe that there can be too much of a good thing. While it’s okay to approach these people for a quick hug, sitting near these toxic fumes can lead to a headache lasting all the way to Monday.

The Safe Zone: Your buffer radius should be one chair for every spritz of body spray. Five spritz? Sit five chairs away. Taking a step outside to breathe fresh air will help too.

5. The Volun-teller

Has someone ever volunteered you to do something without you actually volunteering? That’s what we in the church biz like to call being “volun-told”. Most churches have at least one person who’s always recruiting you to join their ministry without considering your schedule, gifts, or ability to serve.

The Safe Zone: No one is safe. I repeat: no one is safe! Volun-tellers can find you anywhere you are. They’re in the bathroom, the family room, even waiting next to your car. Always know where the nearest exit is and be prepared to duck into the supply closet.

By: Lindsey VanSparrentak

For: http://www.crosswalk.com/slideshows/9-christians-you-don-t-want-to-sit-beside-on-sunday-morning.html

 

 

 

 

When life gets messy, it’s natural for us to get stressed. Or angry. Or bitter. Especially when life takes a turn we didn’t expect – a broken engagement, the loss of a spouse, the diagnosis of cancer, the death of a dream.

Here are seven reasons to trust God with your tears and not stress when you’re in the middle of the mess:

  1. God is more compassionate than you realize.

Psalm 56:8 tells us that God not only sees our tears, he collects them. That means my hurt and yours is more precious to him than we can imagine. That kind of response from him means he’s trustworthy to work our situation out for our best.

  1. Your situation didn’t take God by surprise.

Just because it caught you off guard, doesn’t mean that God was clueless, too. Psalm 139 tells us that God is familiar with all our ways – where we’ve been, what we’re doing now, and where we’re going. Before there is a word on our tongues, he knows it completely. So, trust what he already knows. True faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 12:1). So exercise true faith by being assured and convinced that God is in absolute control.

  1. God is much more capable of managing your life than you are.

We often believe we have the best solutions to our problems. In fact, there are times I’ve found myself suggesting to God what he ought to do in my particular situation. But Isaiah 55:8-9 assures us that his ways are higher than our ways, meaning his method and his timing in how he chooses to do things are so much better than ours. He is God and I am not. And that just might be what he’s trying to show you and me in the struggle we’re struggling to fix. So, plain and simple, give it to him. He can handle it.

  1. God can, at any time, clear up the mess. So wait for his timing and learn all he wants you to learn in the moment.

Romans 8:28 assures us that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.” But the next verse tells us how God works things for good in our lives: “For those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to become conformed to the image of his Son….” There it is. God wants us to become more like his Son through our struggles. So be teachable. Be open to what he wants you to learn. And be moldable. You – and your heart – might be the one reason God has not yet fixed the situation.

5. God already has the problem solved.

Often we are looking for a certain resolution, before we will consider our problem fixed. But God looks to the details of our intentions and our very hearts. It’s possible the problem still exists because he’s working on something inside you right now, and then he’ll take care of the exterior situation.

6. A messy situation is one of the primary ways God awakens our need for him, grows our dependence on him, shapes our character, and draws us closer to himself.

Life consists of messes. They are not always because you’ve done something wrong. Sometimes they just happen. And often he allows it because he wants to draw us into a deeper dependence on him and show us a new side of himself. Those are the things that make our messes meaningful – they draw us closer to our Savior. I love how James 1:2-3 tells us to “consider it all joy” when we encounter various trials, knowing the testing of our faith produces endurance. “And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (verse 4).

God can be trusted. And he wants you to know that. Lean into him during this time and you will know what it means to “find meaning in the mess.”

 

By : Cindi McMenamin

Nollywood actress , Omoni Oboli finally  opened up on how her father’s death affected her.

The renowned scriptwriter who lost her father last week in a car crash revealed that that she has tried in vain to make sense of the incident and has decided to leave it all in God’s hands insisting she will come back from it all stronger. She wrote:

It’s been a week since my dad’s very tragic and untimely passing. I have tried to make sense of it but I can’t so I have left everything in God’s hands. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning! Hallelujah ???????????????????????? His strength is made perfect in my weakness! I’m coming out stronger! I’m victorious! Nothing can bring me down! The king’s kid! CHILD OF GRACE! ???????????? #StrongWoman #ChildOfGrace#JesusLastBorn #RIPMyBiggestFan

 

She definitely has been around for a long time and has no plans of leaving anytime soon!

Veteran actress and talk show host Monalisa Chinda Coker talks candidly about her life, marriage and talk show on the cover of this week’s Vanguard Allure.

She sits down with Vanguard Allure’s Pamela Echemunor to a no holds barred conversation about how she has been able to remain on the top of her game.

The Magazine drops tomorrow, be sure to grab a copy!

Credit:
Creative Director: Nelly Mesik
Photography: Emmanuel Oyeleke
Styling: Moses Ebite for Moashy Styling
Hair: Zubby Definition
Makeup: Debrene Beauty
Location: House of Splendor Boutique hotel, Ikeja

Lilian is one of Nigeria’s fine minds when it concerns ideas and strategy in today’s business,a trained project management and brands analyst with a penchant for all things that require indepth analysis and communication,she is the chief errand officer of Lillyville Management Company,a 7 years old marketing communications outfit. She has worked in varying sectors and has functioned as a professional and manager in diverse roles,these experiences have helped shape her approach to providing viable and sustainable solutions in whatever business challenge she is open to. she is also the Head .Corporate Comms of women shaping Africa (W.O.S.A) and co-founder of  Women in sustainble enterprise (W.I.S.E)she was recently nominated as a “brands to watch” in the upcoming BTW 2017 Awards,she has a flair for Tv production and has featured in some series,she debuted her column “High heels with Lillian” in Timeless Magazine ,a column dedicated to motivating young women in business,through the inspiring stories of trials ,temptations and success stories of thriving business women across the land, She is married with a daughter. Lilian shares her success story in this insightful interview.

Childhood Influence

We all have a background and my background set the precepts for what I do today. I had a moniker ‘accredited’ because even as a child I always did things with clockwork-precision. And I think I got that from my father who was the head of Nigerian Army intelligence core in those times

Meet Me

I am an unrepentant advocate for social change and impact, from the home front to our businesses, career and the society at large. Whenever I take up a task, I stop only when i am done, not when i am tired. I don’t know how to give up.

Inspiration behind High Heels with Lilian

To showcase to the world, the trials, temptations and triumph of women who dare to be different, who are passionate about contributing their own quota in ensuring a viable economy, who can inspire and awaken that spark in other ladies, I like to see myself as a mouthpiece and also a listening ear, we ladies need to know we can be the best version of ourselves.

Projects

I think I like to get my hands full because nothing I loathe more than being idle, like my father would say “an idle mind is the devils workshop”. Having said that I make it my duty to always look for a cause to take up, challenges to confront. That’s why today, I am a co-founder of W.I.S.E, Which is a Non-Governmental Organization geared towards real time supports and collaboration that impact society. W.I.S.E stands for Women In Sustainable Enterprise.

Also a certified project management consultant from the London school of Business and Finance I make bold to say when it comes to event project production, execution, and management, our resume speak volumes ,not because we are the best @ lillyville Mgt company, but because of our creativity, aggression and ability to deliver timely  .

I am also a voracious reader,  so I have this urge to divest myself of the things I learn hence I write for several magazines,  I have SME diagnosis.(my pet project) Like I said earlier I like to get my hands full, but i am afraid they aren’t full enough, as there’s still a lot to be done.

Not giving up

On giving up. It’s good to fall down as long as you don’t stay down, because it gives you the opportunity to pick something up, and do things differently this time around…You see experience has taught me that it’s not the hundredth blow that breaks the wall, but the 99th  you thought did not! #failingforward

Reward

As modest as it might seem, it’s that rush of fulfillment. I am fulfilled each time I accomplish whatever I set out to do.

I am a Woman of Rubies

Every woman who knows her onions,  who appreciates herself and serves God and humanity with altruism, is a woman of rubies.

Final word

Make a conscious effort to be the best version of yourself, then you can take it a step further by being contributory to the development of the people in your sphere of contact! You owe yourself that much.

 

Haben Girma is absolutely inspiring. She dazed the world when she became Harvard Law School’s first deaf and blind graduate in 2013. Since then, she has remained a global phenomenon.

Born in the United States to African parents, Haben was not the type to give in to self-defeat. At the young age of 15, she got involved in Voluntary work by helping to in developing countries on the non-profit platform of Build On. Upon her graduation from the Harvard Law School, she became a Skadden fellow at the Disability Rights Advocate in Berkeley. Thereafter, she took up work as an attorney for people with disabilities.

Haben’s greatest passion is inspiring a positive attitude in people towards those living with a form of disability or the other, and to help disabled individuals gain as much access to books and digital information.

Some of her outstanding global recognitions include Forbes 30 under 30, the BBC Women of Africa Hero and White House Champion of Change.

Indeed, we could not agree more that she is a champion of CHANGE!