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HOW TO ENJOY BEING SINGLE

It may seem like your friends are entering the next phase of their lives — and many are — but a lot of relationships don’t work out and a lot of your friends who are in relationships may eventually start wondering what else is out there. After all, the grass is always greener… or so we think.

As a product of how much people change throughout this period, I’ve come to realize that it’s not such a bad thing to wait, to find out who you are first and to find love later.

So while you’re figuring this out, you might as well enjoy being single. Here are ways to do just that:

Be spontaneous.

This may be one of the only times in your life when you can do whatever you want, when you want and not be restricted by someone else’s desires.

Travel.

It’s one of the best ways to discover who you are; you’ll meet lifelong friends and make lifetime memories along the way.

Spend as much quality time with friends and family as you can.

Having another person in your life leaves less time for others you love, so make the most of being able to give current loved ones as much of your time now as you can.

Work hard, play harder and take time in between to reflect.

Your only responsibility is yourself, so enjoy having time to focus on what you want.

Learn to be okay alone.

You’ll get to know yourself better and it’s a quality you’ll need throughout your life.

Go on as many dates as you want.

The more, the better because the more guys you get to know, the easier it will be to know when you’ve found the right one.

Read hundreds of really great novels.

It’ll expand your knowledge and provide you with life lessons that will help to guide you along the way.

Experience what life has to offer — get out there and do it.

Appreciate being young and free because eventually, when you do settle down, you’ll feel far more content and have less of a desire to look back. You’ll be ready for the next phase if you make the most of your youth.

Enjoy the freedom of being able to make decisions based solely on what you want.

This right once belonged to your parents and soon, you’ll make decisions with your partner. But right now, you hold all of the power.

Buy the expensive bag or the overpriced shoes you love.

Eventually, your hard-earned money will have to go towards more important, less exciting things. Right now, however, it’s all yours. Treat yourself.

Figure out what you enjoy most and use any spare time you have to focus on it.

Learn to surf, get fit, write a book and take advantage of the time you have. It belongs to you and no one else.

Move to a new city.

If there’s nothing tying you down to where you currently live, don’t waste the chance to experience a new place, new people and new challenges. Home will always be there for you when you need it.

Be a “yes” person.

You have more space in your life now than you ever will; don’t let any opportunity pass you by.

As cliché as it is, try not to look for love.

It will only distract you from what you could be enjoying during the here and now… just let it happen.

Do all of this and more.

One day, when you’re telling your children about life in your 20s, you will be able to tell them how much you truly lived and how ready you were when you brought them into the world.

 

 

credit: Elite Daily

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ETHIOPIAN BLIND LAWYER WINS NOBEL PRIZE AWARD IN SWEDEN

Yetnebersh Nigussie is a blind Ethiopian lawyer who was recently named a joint winner of the 2017 Right Livelihood Award, also known as Sweden’s alternative Nobel Prize.

The 35-year-old  lawyer was honoured for her inspiring work in promoting the rights and inclusion of people with disabilities. She was awarded 3 million Swedish crowns ($374,000) which will be shared among the three joint winners.

According to her,

“With this award comes international recognition, but with recognition comes responsibility. You cannot sleep once you are recognised”. Women with disabilities in Ethiopia face multiple layers of discrimination. My role is to link the two communities, of disabled and able-bodied women, that have faced historical discrimination.”

Nigussie co-founded the Ethiopian Centre for Disability and Development, a driving force for inclusion, and is now an adviser for Light for the World, an international organisation working to reduce preventable blindness. She lost her sight after contracting meningitis as a baby but said she was lucky to be educated at a special primary school for blind people run by nuns.

“We didn’t know that we would face isolation and segregation, as we were all blind. It was mixed, boys and girls, but all the women were leaders so for me, women were leaders. I didn’t understand until much later that women were considered to be of lower rank in society,” she says.

Her story changed at the age of 12, when she joined a mainstream school for the first time. She reveals,

“I had no friends for six months. Everyone played in the playground and no one noticed me. I was different. But I scored the best grades in school, and then everyone wanted to be my friend so I could help them. I became popular and I thought: ‘If I can excel, if I can bring about my own change, I can help others.’’

 

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MARY ERO’S EMOTIONAL STORY IS ALL YOU NEED TO STAY HOPEFUL EVEN IN HOPELESS SITUATIONS

In a recent post which Content creator and positivity advocate (HIV/AIDS), Mary Ero, shared on her Instagram page, she narrated a short story of how life dealt with her andd how Banky W helped her.

See what she wrote:

“So today this happened. On the surface it might look like an ordinary celebrity /child-of-starstruck-parent photo opp but there is a deeper story here.

About 8 years ago, while about 6 months pregnant with this little girl here, I fell onto terribly hard times. I have chronicled most of it on my social media platforms but to summarise it, I was abandoned by my child’s father, lost my house, was kicked out unceremoniously from my job at MTV for no reason, and to crown it all, diagnosed HIV positive.

Shortly after that, my then best friend, with whom I was staying, decided she had had enough so I was given an eviction notice.

Long story short, I began to reach out to my friends and acquaintances to try to pick up the pieces, get a place to stay, deliver safely and move on. Suffice it to say that practically none of my celebrity ‘friends’ ever came through. These were people who would call me non-stop when I was in MTV but suddenly, I was invisible.

The only people that did were this man, @bankywellington, and @funlolafar. (Funlola I don’t consider a friend but a sister, or worst case my cousin anyway.😊) What was funny is that both of them had no knowledge of the situation I was in. I think this will be the first time Banky will be hearing of it. I just told him I was trying to raise money for a place, I think.

In those days @bankywellington had not even come close to being as successful as he is now. Yet the next morning, before 7am, he had driven from his place in Lekki, to my house in Magodo with cash for me. And as usual, a hug.

Now one reason people are scared to ask for help especially money from friends is that the dynamics of the relationship changes after someone has helped you out. People who give suddenly feel somewhat superior to the receiver or even feel that the receiver is a tiresome distraction. Not all the time but a lot of the time. However, with Banky there was never that awkwardness. I met him several more times as I managed to get back on my feet over the years and he never behaved like anything like that transpired between us. He was always warm, always hugging, always kind.

Today at ICM which I took my daughter to entirely by coincidence, I ran into him doing his ambassador duties at the Samsung stand. This would be the first time he would see my daughter ever. I had no intentions of her taking pics with him but he just grabbed her and asked ‘where’s your camera’? Then he began to tell her how he and I go way back. It was all I could do not to cry a little. As we left, my daughter asked “Is he a famous person”? I said “Yes. But more importantly, he is a good person.”

 

 

credit: IG, fabwoman.ng

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TOKE MAKINWA IS NOW OFFICIALLY DIVORCED!

On Thursday 5th of October 2017, an Igbosere High Court in Lagos on Thursday dissolved the marriage of OAP and author, Toke Makinwa and her husband Maje Ayida, citing husband’s adulterous lifestyle, according to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN).

She had on March 9, 2016, asked the court to dissolve the marriage on the grounds that the husband committed adultery.

Justice Morenike Obadina, while delivering judgment held that Ayida filed an answer to the petition but did not give oral evidence in support of it.

She said the position of the law was settled as pleadings did not amount to evidence.

“Pleadings on which no evidence was led are deemed abandoned. Therefore, Ayida’s evidence is deemed abandoned.

“The effect being that the petitioner’s evidence is unchallenged and uncontroverted,’’ she ruled.

The judge said the issue of cruelty which the petitioner (Makinwa) relied on, was established because of the “mental and emotional stress” she was subjected to by her husband.

Toke and Maje

She said Makinwa had sufficiently proven that the husband committed adultery and continued to flaunt his adulterous relationships even to her face.

“I hold that the marriage has broken down on grounds of intolerable behaviour.

“I hereby pronounce a `Decree Nisi’ dissolving the marriage between Makinwa and Ayida which was administered at the Federal Marriage Registry, Ikoyi, Lagos, on Jan. 15, 2014.

“The order Nisi shall become absolute three months from today unless within that period sufficient cause is shown why it should not be made absolute,” Obadina said.

Makinwa had told the court that her husband committed adultery with his mistress, Anita Solomon, adding that the relationship produced a child.

She said since their marriage was contracted, the husband had “behaved in a way she could not reasonably be expected to continue to bear”.

She also said the husband was cruel towards her, adding that their differences became irreconcilable.

NAN also reports that during the trial, the petitioner (Makinwa) testified in court and tendered some documents including their marriage certificate which were admitted in evidence.

In her testimony, she said that after their marriage was contracted in 2014, cohabitation with her husband ceased on Nov. 8, 2015, without any child from the marriage.

She also told the court of an instance where her husband threatened separation and even drafted a separation agreement because she discovered that he bought a ticket for his mistress to travel to London.

The first respondent (Ayida) who replied to the petition when served, however, instructed his counsel, Mr T. O. Lawal, not to continue with the defence.

Ayida through his counsel, therefore, foreclosed all evidence.

The mistress (Solomon), who is the second respondent, refused to join issues with the petitioner.

credit: NAN, Pulse.ng

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MIZWANNEKA NKUMA’S INSPIRING SUCCESS STORY

Mizwanneka Nkuma Doris, the CEO HAIR BY WANNEKA is the last child of nine biological siblings and a beautiful wife, mother and business guru. The hair boss as she is popularly known, started her journey down this business path in 2013.

Worthy of note also is the fact that Mizwanneka is rounding up her degree in a private university and successfully manages her task as a student and entrepreneur.

For Mizwanneka, the inspiration to become a hair entrepreneur started with the insane idea of wanting to surprise her husband and prove to him that women can also be independent, make their own money and also stay successful without being a liability to people around them.

Also, her passion for human hair products was what made her decide on her choice of business. Many hair clients love Hair By Wanneka because of the style of advert used by Mizwanneka, as well as the affordability of the hair types.

She has several times shared her inspiring story of how she had to quit her business more than two times because the business had failed. With determination however, she started again and less than two years after, her business is flourishing.

Wanneka in her early days bought her weaves from a well known hair seller and resold them. She also went to banks and waited till the close of work to speak with the fashionable female staff to patronize her. From the banks, she moved to her church and  waited at the church gate for the service to end just to speak with the beautiful sisters from the church and tell them about her business.

Getting more active on social media was a huge success for her as she was able to gather enough money to buy a large stock of product, but unfortunately she had to start from square one when she was given fake goods.

Talking more about her business, she said:

“Once you give your customers fake hair, it is a huge task trying to win them back, so one needs to be very careful where you source your products from. It was a huge setback and led to distrust from clients. At some point in my business, I didn’t get patronised for over 4 months, it was really hard”.

Wanneka, who describes her style as exquisitely chic with a bold personality continually advises young start-up entreprenuers to be passionate about what they want, and be sure they want to stay in the business such that when challenges arise, they will remain.

The hair boss who is the mother of two beautiful kids owes a part of her success to her husband who was very supportive in helping her manage the children and do school runs most times, especially when she had to leave her store extremely late into the night.

She paid him in her own beautiful way by buying him a Range Rover Envogue for Valentine this year.

Also, in July 2017, the businees woman was able to open a new business with profits entirely from her first business, Hair By Wanneka. This new business she called Wanneka’s Lounge, a lounge located in Lekki phase one, a surburb of Lagos State.

Wanneka who is known for the fierce love she has for her children, Emily and Sergei also said:

“I made it mandatory every weekend to always spend time with my kids, even if I am going to the shop, we go together.  This is to sustain the bond. My mum has also been extremely helpful. Motherhood is a company on its own”.

When asked what she will like to do for  change, she says

“there are a lot of women out there who do not have opportunities like I have had, I would like young women to be persistent, strong and focused

 

 

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WHAT IS BLEACHING? WHAT IS TONING?

For a very long time, there has been confusion about what bleaching and toning are all about. Many people have been wondering if bleaching is the same thing as toning or if both terms means the same thing.

According to Evolve Makeup Nigeria,

Bleaching is an art whereby you take away the first epidermis of the outer layer of the skin and second and third epidermis of the skin which is the finest skin, then one looks entirely white just like an European because you have bleached to the finest layer of the skin which is very risky.

Toning in beauty, means different things. It could either mean to make the body firmer with exercise or it could be means of tightening the pores to minimize acne breakout, reduce oil and balance the skin or it is way of repairing damaged skin caused by the sun or discoloration of the skin due to carelessness. It does not have any side effects it rather restore the dullness of the skin and makes it look attractive.

The issue of bleaching in African continent is a big one. Using harmful chemicals like: Hydroquinone, Mercury and Steroids is terrible for the skin. Always check through your creams and make sure these dangerous chemicals are not included in the ingredients. And those who do cream mixing be sure you are not using harmful ingredients. Research shows that chemicals like Hydroquinone, Mercury and Steroids causes cancer, so by applying these products to your skin, you are exposing yourselves to cancer.

I think by now you should be able to draw the line between Bleaching and Toning. I know most will still want to argue that toning is still bleaching but i wonder what they do when they have sunburn, no matter what you used to clear that burn it’s still toning because it’s simply an act of correcting  or removing unwanted discoloration from the skin.

Credit: evolvemakeupnigeria.com
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#INTERVIEW: ”I AM A BORN ARTIST, ALL I WANT TO DO IS CREATE” -ESTHER TOM, LEAD STYLIST,GAME OF FROS NATURAL HAIR HUB

Esther Otomi (popularly known as Esther Tom), is the lead stylist and CEO of Game Of Fros natural hair hub. She has a Bachelors Degree in Choreography and a Maters Degree in Media Studies but chose to focus on her passion which is natural hair styling.

In this exclusive interview with Women Of Rubies, she talk about how she left Calabar for Lagos, the interesting name ‘Game Of Fros’, and more.

Read her interview below;

 

Childhood
Did my childhood prepare me in anyway for what I do now? Not in a million years! Growing up as an average Nigerian female child, the time line was the usual… It had to be, get a university degree in medicine, law or journalism, or a number of other jobs that were considered “professional”, finish your NYSC, get a job, get a husband, have babies, and you have lived life. I would never have imagined myself in this position and without a care in the world.

Meet Me
My name is Esther Otomi, I’m 26 years old, the last of a family of 5. I majored in Choreography for my Bachelors degree and proceeded to Media Studies for my Masters degree. I’m a born artist by nature. All i want to do is create! I live very simply and try to keep a low profile (i think…Lol). I hate to dress up, I’m not your typical “ladyish” lady. I dress for comfort and keep it true to my personality. I’m a lover of myths and legends, I love Rock ‘n Roll, animation and books!

GameOfFros
Game of Thrones! Yes! Hahahahahahaha…Pardon me, I just couldn’t hold that in! Obviously that’s where Game of Fros came from. We are passionate about Natural Hair Styling. We believe in natural hair as a voice, as a mark of identity, as a crown that needs to shine. For too long we have seen our natural hair as a burden, as an unkempt load of rubbish that we must constantly hide under weaves. Not that wearing weaves is a problem, but when you spend and cater more to your bundles than what is under, then we have a situation. The purpose for which Game of Fros is designed for is to showcase how versatile and sophisticated our Kinky /Curly hair is capable of being, and also to make your natural hair journey stress free.

How I met Mo Abudu…
Big shout out to Aunty Mo! I came to Lagos 2nd week in November, 2016. Frankly, my intention was to work here for the whole December and return to my base which was Calabar. Coming with two pairs of jean and 4 shirts, you could tell how unassuming i was. I would go to Ebonylife Studios to style hair for Arit Okpo. When i count my blessings, I count her thrice. She’s the reason I packed my bag and left Calabar without a second thought. She would say, “Esther, don’t be a whale in a pond”. I would style hair for a couple of other ladies as well in the studio. One day, Emily (works at the studio) called me saying “my M. D. said she likes my hair, ” and there I was saying
“Which MD?” She goes, “Mo Abudu”. And I let out a loooonnng laugh of disbelief. Emily calls again after some days saying the same thing, my reaction was the same. Then Mo Abudu’s personal assistant called me to book
an appointment on her behalf. At that point, my legs went limp and I had to hold on to something, all the while thinking, “Is this really happening???” This was a lady i grew up watch on TV with my mum. I was about 16 then. Now I’m going to be working with her?! I didn’t know what to expect. But i gradually eased into it. Aunty Mo is a one strong woman. I watch her make things happen and I think to myself, how much willpower can one person have?! She is inspiring and one heck of an amazing client.

My experience on the set of the movie Wedding Party2…
Yes indeed! To be part of the crew of a record breaking movie , not only was I honored, it expanded my work experience. From waking up early, closing late, getting barely two hours of sleep, to eating food you’ve never seen before! You’re not only dealing with hair, you’re dealing with personalities from a different race, a different country. It opened my eyes to realize that experiencing different cultures is wealth in itself.

What and who inspire me
I really cannot say who because alot of people inspire me in different aspects of life. But as for what inspires me, I’m certain it is fear of not fulfilling why I was made. I strongly believe I live for a purpose, and everything I do, everywhere I find myself, are all a means to an end. When i say a prayer, I always ask that whatever it is that will be a hindrance to fulfilling my purpose be taken away from me. When you’re 6 feet under, what matters is the lives you touched regardless of how little it was.

Challenges…
Just when you think you’ve seen it all, challenges pop out behind you like VOILA! Being that we offer home services exclusively, challenges include traffic, weather condition especially when it rains, impossible clients who think you have an attitude or who think you’re a fraud when you tell them you’re policy of down payments. I totally understand. It is human nature to be skeptical especially when your environment does not offer anything different.

On giving up…
Hahahahaha was there a time I didn’t?! Entrepreneurship is hard! I rephrase, Entrepreneurship in Nigeria is hard! You must have a plan, a model, a policy that you must stick to. This is important when building a brand reputation. It doesn’t matter who calls you rude or arrogant. Consistency is key. No one gets to see the tears alot of us shed behind closed doors, the fear in taking a business decision, how we calculate our gains and losses, letting go of the people we once called ‘friend’ or ‘lover’ because you realize how much time you wasted being unproductive with them. Still we go to sleep and wake up with high spirits ready for the chase!

I am a Woman of Rubies
I believe I have impacted people in my own little way. It could be one, could be two, I have no idea, but I believe it didn’t come from a place of plenty. It came from that little criss-cross of my fingers. It got better from every trial and error. It grew from every constructive criticism encountered. I never had it all figured out. I’m human. At times I procrastinate, at times I take impulsive decisions. When the chips are high or low, passion keeps me going.

Final words to women
Dear Woman out there, I haven’t walked in your shoes, I do not know where it pinches, but do not kill your dreams because of what people will say. People never stop saying. You will not always get what you request, sometimes you have to disobey, you have to break hearts, you have to go against the norm because you know where your happiness is. Until you grow into this awareness of self, you will continue to live other people’s lives and on your last day on earth, who you are will meet who you could have become. Cheers!

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#WCW: CELEBRATING SOLA SOBOWALE!

Hello WORriors! Today is #WCW and our Woman Crush is the one and only Sola Sobowale aka Toyin Tomato!!!

Sola Sobowale is a Nigerian film actress, screenwriter, director and producer. She joined acting as a member of the Awada Kerikeri Group under the leadership of Adebayo Salami. Over the years, she had scripted, co-scripted, directed and produced several Nigerian films. Her roles in Village Headmaster, Mirror In The Sun and in the infamous Yoruba film, Asewo To Re Mecca, remain evergreen.

However, playing Toyin Tomato in the Wale Adenuga 2001 Super Story series, Oh Father! Oh Daughter! shot her into super stardom. She has featured in over 200 movies and self-produced over 50 films. During an interview, Sola Sobowale revealed that she has been acting for 40 years now.

She scripted, produced and directed, Ohun Oko Somida, a 2010 Nigerian film that stars Adebayo Salami. She left Nollywood and Nigeria for 15 years to focus on her family and recently debut her comeback to Nollywood with the movie ‘The Wedding Party’.

Some of her movies include, Asewo To Re Mecca, Eri Okan, Ohun Oko Somida, The Diamond Ring, Family on fire, The Wedding Party 1&2, etc.

One fun fact is that, Sola Sobowale doesn’t wear ready made clothes. She makes her own clothes.

 

Women Of Rubies celebrates you, dearest Sola Sobowale!

 

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HE PROPOSED TO HER THREE DAYS AFTER THEY MET AND THEY ARE CELEBRATING 16 YEARS OF MARRIAGE TODAY!

IG user Seun Obajolu is celebrating her 16th wedding anniversary with her husband, Tunde, today October 4th and she has taken to her IG page to share their love story. The couple met in 2001 and Tunde proposed to Seun three days after meeting her.

She wrote;

“We are not the typical love story ! You proposed 3 days after we met, convinced I was the one for you while I’m thinking, “who is this crazy guy”? Yet, still going with the flow but with peace within that I was NOT making a mistake . We were married in 10 months and 16 years on, we are still here! You, sure that I’m still the one for you and I, super convinced that you were meant for me. Our marriage has not been perfect but all of the imperfections has taught us to love each other even better and brought us even closer. Here’s toasting to 16 more years and lots more with you my “crazy lover”, my husband, baby daddy, father and friend Tunde Obajolu Thank you for being my back bone, working with my imperfections and supporting my dreams! Happy 16th year Wedding Anniversary to us!!!!!”. ” 

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