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6 BEST DRESSED WOMEN AT THE 2017 GRAMMY AWARDS

The 59th Annual Grammy Awards Ceremony was held on February 12, at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Carlifonia, and as usual, some of the celebrities brought their fashion A-game.

Singer Rihanna, arrived fashionably late in a two-piece crop top and ball skirt combo by Armani Prive, while Jennifer Lopez was a dreamy goddess in a lavender-colored Ralph & Russo couture gown.

Here they are :

Rihanna is a true style star in this two-piece look from Armani that would look like a hot mess on anyone else. The “music of the sun” hair was a nice nostalgic touch.

Rihanna in Armani Prive

Solange went for Gold in Gucci, which complemented her first Grammy win beautifully, save for the hair though.

Solange Knowles in Custom Gucci

Celine Dion shimmered in an age-appropriate Zuhair Murad Couture number.

Celine Dion in Zuhair Murad Couture

Adele did justice to this green creation by Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy, his (possibly) last creation for the house he recently departed.

Adele in Givenchy Couture by Riccardo Tisci

Jennifer Lopez who is never one to disappoint on any red carpet slayed as usual in Ralph & Russo.

Jennifer Lopez in Ralph & Russo Couture

Source: Bellanaija.com

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LOLA ADAMSON : 8 THINGS MEN SAY/DO TO PISS WOMEN OFF!

Just in time for Valentine’s day, publicist, talent/brand manager and event producer, Lola Adamson shared her very relatable (yes! very relateable lol) list of things guys do or say that constantly piss women off in this new episode of her vlog; LolaUnflittered.

“Welcome to another unfiltered episode of Lola Unfiltered, Lol! On this episode, I talk about some things men say or do that annoy the women in their lives. Share your thoughts with us in the comment box below, let me know what your husband, boyfriend, friends or brother says to tick you off, Lol.“

 

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WHO SHOULD DO THE SPENDING AND PAMPERING IN A RELATIONSHIP?

I just wanted to share my opinion on the subject matter. Hopefully, people can see reasons as to why I think this way.

Personally, I do not believe that anyone “should” pamper or spend on anyone. What I mean is that it is NOT a responsibility or an obligation that someone has to “fulfill”.

Therefore, I believe that these “should” mindsets are also responsible for a good number of unnecessary issues in relationships… men “should” do this, women “should” do that, it is a man who is “supposed” to do this or women are not “supposed” to do this, and so on.

It is silly to me… nonsense, in my opinion.

And NO, I’m not talking about gender roles in nature. No! I am talking about these things we call “culture” in this part of the world, that people use as excuses to cover up their selfishness or pride.

All of the women I’ve had relations with in the past, did not think that way, thankfully. I mean, they did not think that as the man, I “should” spend on them or that I was “supposed” to be the one pampering, and so on. And yes, they were ALL Nigerians!

Well, there was one (the Devil Woman) who thought I was “supposed” to do a loooong list of things lol.

In the other relationships however, we both pampered each other, and spent on each other. But we did so because we WANTED to… not because we were obligated to, not because we “should” or were “supposed” to.

We take each other out without the other having to ask, at random and on occasions. We gift each other things at random and on occasion, not because it is required, but because we want to. We pampered and spent on each other as we were capable and able to… NOT because it was a “requirement”. We give because we want to.

I am grateful that I am able give. I give when I can, as often as I can. My former roommate once said that I have the gift of gift giving, or something like that.

But I don’t give gifts because I am “supposed” to, or because as a man I “should” give gifts. I do because I love them and so I want to make them happy. It never mattered who gave or didn’t give, or how often the gift, money or pampering was give. We did not care about all that at all.

If you love someone, you will pamper and spend on them BECAUSE you love them… NOT because you are a man and men “should” gift more, or women “should” receive more, or whatever.
If you claim to love someone, but refuse to pamper or spend on them because it is NOT your “responsibility” as a woman, then I think that maybe you are just being selfish.

Because I don’t see why you would have the capability to pamper your man (once in a while like Helium suggested) and then you will fold your hands and say “Mba! Not me! He’s the man in the relationship. He’s the one who should pamper me.” Mbiko, why?
If you hold back from doing these things that you actually can, and you choose not to, simply because it’s your partner who “should” do those things… then I think you are probably being selfish.

If your excuse is that your partner will feel you’re desperate or that you’re throwing yourself at them… then I think you’re in the wrong relationship. I’m sorry!

If your excuse is that your partner will take your spending and pampering for granted, or that they will take advantage of it then… then I think you are probably in the wrong relationship! You better find your way out of that relationship while you can!

I mean, why would you want to be in a serious relationship with someone who will take you for granted (or take advantage of you), for ANY reason whatsoever? If that’s the kind of partner you desire, then by every means… don’t pamper them, so that they won’t take advantage or take you for granted. Because the “right” person for you is not one who will take you for granted, whether you pamper them or not, whether you throw yourself at them or not, whether you spend on them or not.

I often say that… if one “has” to get a second job, just to be in a relationship with you, then something is NOT right. If being your boyfriend means I need a second source of income, then something is NOT right.

So I don’t think anyone “should”. Do you love them or do you not? Because that’s what all this boils down to… it’s either you love them or you don’t!

Read my definition of love again (attached below), and there you will find the simple answer to whether or not who “should” do this or that.

I welcome your comments.

By: Okiemute Omuta

Copied from his Facebook Page.

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#TOLASPEAKS : SO WHAT’S WRONG WITH CORPORATE CUPID?

Its February , and love is likely to be in the air –  seeing that we spend the most part of our day with colleagues within our organisation, chances are that falling in love in or around the office environment is highly likely and is happening now more frequently than ever.

The best predictor of attraction is propinquity; it’s really no wonder they happen considering we spend over 8 hours a day in the near presence of others, it is no surprise that you get to like and feel attracted to them.  You are people with similar levels of education, interests and values being recruited to organisations so the process of assortative mating begins at corporate selection itself.

So why should the office not be a good place to find a partner?  Can, or indeed should, anyone try to legislate matters of the heart or hormones?

Workplace relationships happen; full stop.  Being open, grown-up and sensible is best.

Quite a few of us meet our partners at work, but you don’t need to be a killjoy to realise that workplace relationships can get us into trouble. Even if things go smoothly, undisclosed relationships can give rise to conflicts of interest, office gossip and there is always the risk of blurring boundaries, which could lead to allegations of poor performance or misconduct.

Here are a few tips to managing workplace relationships.

  • Keep communications and behaviour in the workplace professional.
  • Avoid a relationship with someone who reports to you, or to whom you report. If you think there may be a conflict of interest, consider disclosing the relationship
  • Remember confidentiality. You may be party to work-related information that you must not share, even with your partner
  • Consider how your workplace dealings with your partner may be construed by other colleagues
  • Have a plan for how to deal with what happens if the relationship breaks down.

While employees are entitled to a private life, employers should only interfere in personal relationships only when there is a direct impact on the workplace.

Setting Cupid aside for a moment, Good working relationships give us several other benefits: our work is more enjoyable when we have good relationships with those around us. Also, colleagues are more likely to go along with changes that we want to implement, and we’re more innovative and creative. It also gives us freedom, enabling us to focus on opportunities. Maintaining good relationships will not only make you more engaged and committed to your organization; it can also open doors to key projects, career advancement, and raises.

Just remember – not all relationships will be great; but you can make sure that they are, at least, workable!

 

ABOUT  TOLA

Bamigbaiye-Elatuyi Omotola is a Regional Marketing Manager for West Africa in an FMCG. A firm believer in empowering others for success in the work place as she is a well sought after facilitator on Marketing and Business management. She also manages Workplace Management columns and Consumer Insight columns in magazines published across West Africa as well as volunteering with NGO’s as a child educator.

Instagram: tolaspeaks
Twitter: alottola

 

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AKUDO ABENOGWE-ADEBAYO: THE JOY OF MARRYING SOMEONE YOU LOVE

I was at a wedding last Saturday. I love weddings, I think it’s romantic in a way. I was exceptionally happy because this wedding was a testimony and a proof that God never abandons his own. At some point, none of us – including the bride – was sure about the wedding anymore. We had almost given up because everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong.

Imagine a scenario where the wedding has been planned, the dates fixed, cards printed, every necessary item bought and then the wedding didn’t hold. That was exactly what happened, and it was traumatising to say the least. I won’t go into much details because I respect the privacy of the people involved. One thing I learnt from the whole thing though is that ‘what will be will be’ – if only the people involved are determined to make it work.

I believe that there is a woman for every man and vice versa. How and when one will meet his soulmate is entirely in the hands of our creator. My friend had gone through hell in the hands of men, and every time she gets hurt, I’d remind her that she was yet to find her soulmate. The search continued until one day she met ‘him’ her soulmate.

Everything clicked from the get-go. You could tell they were headed for the altar, and when he proposed, I smiled and said, ‘but I told you so’. When the wedding plans were hijacked and the couple were faced with all sorts of oppositions, she came crying to me. I reminded her that nothing good comes easy.

My friends, na so I turn to marriage counsellor oo. She would call me at odd hours, heartbroken and almost giving up. We would pray together and I would drop some words of advice. Honestly, every wedding period comes with its own peculiar challenges and that is why the couple need to be steadfast, prayerful and honest with each other at all times. That way, they can form a united front and face the challenges squarely.

Eventually, tired of the whole thing, the guy suggested a registry wedding, which seemed like a smart thing to do as that would calm all frayed nerves and soften all opposition. The notice she gave me was so short, literally less than 15 hours, but I was determined to make it – especially since I was going to be the witness at the occasion.
I moved every other thing I had to do that day and went to the registry to support my girl and I am happy everything turned out well. Seeing how gorgeous my friend looked, and how she and her husband smiled into each other’s eyes was enough consolation for the stress they have both passed through.

It’s such joy to marry someone you love. I believe that love is a key ingredient in marriage, and one needs lots of love to go through the institution of marriage. As I made a toast to the couple at the lunch table, I gave them a few words of wisdom and shared some of my experiences with them. The other guests, especially the married ones, also shared their own experiences at the table.
One thing I could tell was that this couple were determined to be happy against all odds and I couldn’t help but wish them all the best.

That being said, last Wednesday was my wedding anniversary. I must say I was spoilt beyond my expectations *wink*. We also took out time for a little tete a tete. Having such conversations is healthy for a relationship because it helps both parties to be on the same page and also recognise and appreciate the sacrifices each one is making to make the relationship work.
Marriage is not just a union, it’s also about selflessness and sacrifices and a mix of the good and bad. We can only pray for more good times and less bad times.

Source: Bellanaija

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I WOULD LOVE TO BE MARRIED AGAIN – OMOTUNDE DAVID “LOLO”

Every viewer of the popular drama series, ‘Jenifa’s Diary’ knows her as Adaku. But she is a trained lawyer, who veered into broadcast media and now an On Air Personality whose name is Omotunde Adebowale David. Also called aka Lolo 1, she opens up on her status as a single mother in this interview.

On What Excite her 

I love it when I see my dreams coming to pass. It could be so exciting when things take shape; it is such a sweet feeling.

Handling Trolls online

I tell people ‘don’t look at online people, they are children; just ignore them.’  What I just do is look and move on. If it bothers me so much I delete you and block you because the more you answer the more you are misunderstood. The truth is that some people out there are just crying out for attention. You don’t need to focus on them.

Coping as a single mum of one

I am not divorced yet I am still in the process. We are in court already and it will be done in a few months. Being a single mom is one of the most challenging things I have ever faced and I am writing a book because a lot of people demonize single moms. There is no rule book that tells you this is how you should go about it, you learn as you grow older. You face a lot of challenges. What I do is focus on the important which is the up-bringing of my children. In my case, my kids’ father and I talk; we have a good relationship. But the only thing is that we don’t live in the same house and the kids relate well with both parents.

Giving Marriage a second shot

I would love to be married again. I won’t tell you if I am waiting for it to come. I am just asking God to help me get through this. However, if I meet someone I consider good enough, that would understand me; of course, I will be willing to try again because marriage is a great institution.

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BEYONCE CHANNELS YORUBA GODDESS OSHUN

Many of the you don’t know so let’s give you some education while you all scream Slay, Queen at Beyoncé‘s 2017 Grammy Awards performance.

The pop star who is pregnant with twins, debuted her baby bump yesterday night at the Grammy’s  for the first time since announcing she’s pregnant with twins a couple of weeks ago. For her performance which also featured her 5 year old daughter Blue Ivy Carter and mother – Tina Knowles, Bey embraced and showed off her pregnant belly in a gold bikini and gold sequin gown which she topped off with a gold medusa crown.
But what many don’t know is that Bey drew inspiration from Nigeria for her performance, specifically the Yoruba culture.
For her much talked about Grammy award performance Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter channeled Oshun, the Yoruba goddess of love, fertility and healing.
This isn’t the first time the Grammy Award-winning artist has paid homage to Oshun and Yoruba culture. She did the same in her much talked about maternity shoot, announcing her twin pregnancy and last year in the video for “Hold Up” off her visual album Lemonade.

Source: Kemifilani.com

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KIKI MORDI’S “END POLICE EXTORTION NOW”  PETITION GETS 1,000 SIGNATURES 

Nkiru Mordi is a Port Harcourt born On-Air personality that goes by the alias Kiki Mordi. She created a petition online against police extortion after some policemen barged into her home accusing her and her boyfriend of being cultists.

According to her, the policemen searched her home and when they found no evidence of them being cultists, they were taken to their station and demanded N200, 000 to kill the case.

The petition titled ‘End Police Extortion Now’ has a goal of gathering 1,000 signatures.

She tweeted,

If you no one hears from me tonight, ask State CID zone 5 for where I am… Goes without saying, I have a great extortion story to tell

Our only offence? Being young and having a car. Nothing else.

They’ve carried their robbery from highways to actually busting into your house. Police

I had a really wild day today with the police I just realized being a Nigerian isn’t safe. You are only safe because it’s not yet your turn!

I’ve had altercations with police before at the high way, they try to frustrate you into giving them “small thing” I never judge them…

Because a policeman, my friend, confided in me that they don’t get enough funding & it’s the “small thing” they use to fuel cars to operate.

But my experience with the police today was very wild! I’m still pretty shaken up but thank God I’m home. Safely.

You guys won’t believe that policemen barged into MY HOUSE today. This was not a highway issue, MY FUCKING HOUSE. WOW!

I was upstairs prepping for work when I heard the doorbell… My boyfriend got the door and was met with a dirty slap.

They barged into the house and started yelling. I only saw one at first, plain clothed. Asked me “IS THIS YOUR BOYFRIEND”? He was yelling

I was mad scared, I thought we were being robbed! So I was quiet. He asked a couple more times and I look a boyfriend, confused as hell

He started accusing us of being cultists? Hian. That was when other police men came with Police T shirt came, I then realised they were cops

“Oga stop shouting tell me what’s going on I’m sure I can help you” He tells us they had a tip off that we were cultists. Again.

I assured him we weren’t cultists perhaps he has the wrong address? He starts asking about the cars parked downstairs. Asked for our names..

I thought you had a “tip off” I told him I was a journalist He went downstairs, scribbled my boyfriend’s misspelled name on a “warrant”

I didn’t say anything. He searched through the house, saw some condoms in my wardrobe and said “Name original oh, this one nor be cheap”

I didn’t smile back. He searched some more for this imaginary gun. He didn’t find. Next thing he wants our laptops, I’m not surprised.

He’s seized some phones already o. I had 3 in my possession so I’m guarding them safely. Bros what exactly did we do? You’re harassing us..

He said he was taking boyfriend to police station for further investigation. At this point I’m VERY scared. I’ve called heaven and earth

So I went to take a picture and they launch at me. Tried to drag my phone with me. Drama. We eventually agreed to go to the station with dem

They took our laptops as “evidence”

This story is quite long because this started about 10 or so this morning. Long and short, I was shamed at the police station for being loud

They hurled all sorts of sexist comments. Because say you go school. Mane dey talk you dey talk. I get your type for house etc

One female police even threatened to beat me and cure me of my “sharp mouth”

The attention was no longer on the cultist charge but on my “sharp mouth” They went through our laptops. Nothing!

I need to point out that at home when they saw a car key, they asked for the name of he car, I said BMW, he just smiled. I was like oh…kay

About six hours later, they’re asking for 200k to “die the case” Are we not cultists and kidnappers again? Hian

Lawyer came to “bail” us out with 20k… They charged boyfriend with “suspected cultism” and me for “obstruction of justice”

I don’t even know if they’ll come back. They know where I live. I don’t feel safe at all. But I’m home now, thanks for asking.

My whole day… I didn’t even go to work, I haven’t eaten, I couldn’t change my tampon… I’m still shaken up

To think, after we had a new neighbor move in with 4 cars I’d been worried about kidnappers showing up, THE NIGERIAN POLICE FORCE SHOWED UP!

Shaken up, preparing to move. I’ve called agent already, I can’t.

The funny part about all these is people have told me it happens a lot, and I just became a target. Please tell me, HOW CAN I SLEEP?

They kept asking about the cars. The cars drew them to he compound. Talk about stalking.

So basically they barged into the compound and randomly knocked on doors. We just happened to be the ones at home. Y’all need to stay woke!

They were asking who owns what car and who had traveled! Still feel safe in your homes?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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HOW WOMEN CAN HELP EACH OTHER SUCCEED

Someday, women will be paid the same as men for doing the same job. That day, judging from recent news, may not come any time soon.

Some of it, if not much of it, is the fault of employers. But is there any fault on the part of women?

An article from The Atlantic suggests that some women, particularly of older generations, may have inadvertently fed certain stereotypes about women in their quest to work in a man’s world. The story examined two women worker archetypes: the ideal and moral “Righteous Woman” and the catty and divisive “queen bee.”

The righteous Woman is an ideal based on the idea that since all women face sexism, they should be willing to fight for and form alliances with other women. However, the queen bee is based on the idea that women “just can’t get along” and comes from the thought that there is just something about a woman that will cause her to sabotage other women for her own gain, according to The Atlantic.

The two depictions, seemingly at odds, have in common that they perpetuate the double standard that conflict in the workplace and out between men is normal but between women is not, according to The Atlantic. This, despite studies that show men engage in female-associated, passive-aggressive behavior such as gossip and exclusion about as much or even more than women.

Other research suggests that queen bee identities emerge when a woman, who previously thought her gender was irrelevant to pay or performance, experiences gender bias and sees that coworkers view her as a woman instead of a person, The Atlantic stated. So to set herself apart, this woman adopts more masculine speech about herself, putting down other women in the process.

The Atlantic noted that a woman strongly identifying as a woman increased the likelihood of helping other women, as opposed to distancing herself from her gender.

Judith Williams, the global head of diversity at the file-sharing website Dropbox, told Black Enterprise that women should think about getting sponsors and mentors, which are people who will speak up for them when they’re not present and who will vouch that they have the capabilities to get a job done.

She also said that while there may be some basis in catty stereotypes of women, she suspects a lot of it is just based in perception.

Arianna Huffington, editor-in-chief of the Huffington Post, also gave some of her thoughts on how women in the workplace can be there for each other in a Huffington Post blog.

She said it’s important that female coworkers be there for each other, “not just during the big moments of obvious success or failure, but in all the small ways in which the workplace culture isn’t there for them.”

Huffington also tied the full integration of women in the workplace to the redefinement of what success means, getting away from money and power as markers, which indirectly if not actively advocates burnout and instead promote wellness of body and mind.

“You shouldn’t have to lose yourself to advance yourself,” said Huffington.

 

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#PROFILE |MEET OLUTOSIN ADEBOWALE, THE WOMAN  TURNING TRASH INTO TREASURE & EMPOWERING WOMEN IN RURAL COMMUNITIES

Olutosin founded Star of Hope Transformation Centre after her training as one of the Voices of our Future Correspondents on World Pulse in 2009 .

With such an empowerment opportunity on Worldpulse , she knew that there is no going back in sacrificing whatever it takes to liberate women and children from the shackles of oppression, irrespective of race, creed, tongue or geographical area, as long as we are human beings.

Beaten by her husband some weeks after a rigorous childbirth, coupled with the different kinds of violence she had seen her mother suffered before she died, Olutosin Adebowale made up her mind not to allow a repeat, Hence the reason she founded Star of hope transformation centre.

Transformation Centre works in four thematic areas, which are: Child Sexual Abuse, prevention, response and treatment, Gender Based Violence, Empowerment on Street Skills and the Centre operates both online and offline resources which provides valuable materials on the highlighted subjects. With ample experience on NGO Management, the Center explores the avenue to sustain its activities.

Olutosin believes in equality of women and men also that every adult in the community is responsible for the protection of children, therefore everyone must be empowered on prevention of violence, in all forms. She loves to protect women and children, speaking out against social injustice, corruption and prevention of sexual while at the same time repairing lives that are at the verge of destruction by sexual violence and poverty.

Educationally, she studied English Language at the University of Lagos (1997) Masters in English Language (2001), after which she did Diploma in Computer. The struggle Violence against women led her to End Violence Against Women.org, where she was trained.

She has written four manuscripts on sexual violence, widowhood and infidelity. Waiting for the Publication of her first book. The first book is a collection of poems addressing issues concerning women and human rights.She loves producing tie and dye in its different styles and shades, designing and sewing clothes, teaching poor women how to tie and dye and sew beautiful female and male clothes and to top it all, she designs and sews cooking bags!!!!

She is blessed with two lovely daughters; Angel and Divine and 100 other children at the riverside in Ibasa, Lagos Nigeria.

In her words :

“I want to start a PLACE FOR CREATION where women and girls can explore their creativity and become the best they want to be in life”.

 

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