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Feminism and its aggressive drive in recent times have opened our eyes to a lot of issues bordering on women, chief of which is self esteem.

How we value ourselves, our self-worth and how we perceive our value to the people around us, and by extension, the world is a great way to describe self-esteem. In the case of women, it reflects an overall subjective emotional valuation of her own worth, more because women are emotional beings.

Several studies have shown that men have higher self-esteem than women. A study by American Association of University women stated in 1991 that ‘girls lose their self-esteem on the way to adolescence’.

Little wonder why particular attention is being paid to grooming a more informed generation of highly confident women.

Girls in the adolescent ages show rugged standpoints on a variety of matters however, this changes as they mature into dating ages. They begin to soft pedal and relax on these beliefs in a bid to be more attractive to the opposite sex. They take on new interests and assume new personalities.

Thankfully, this trend is changing and it is indeed interesting to know that the next generation of women do not have to be stifled to be accepted, or in the dating scenes, lovable.

The mischaracterization of women and their worth has caused too much damage in our world. From acceptance in places of worship to the wrong beliefs that certain positions in the workplaces cannot be held by women. Sadly, the society will not take on the responsibility to undo this harm, the onus is on every woman to recognize and take their positions.

Successes or failures are hinged on ones perception of worth. Therefore, it is safe to say nothing is as important as how you feel and think about yourself.

The following highlights practical ways women can improve their self-esteem.

  1. Get a mentor. Have you seen a women whose strength and confidence you admire? Move close to them. Learn from them. Glean.

Many successful women are willing to help others navigate their paths because they know, more than anyone else, the hard-work, courage and strength that brought them this far. They also understand the importance of a support network.

  1. Become self-reliant. Little successes have a way of boosting self-esteem. Rather than call in a handy-man to fix the cable set-up or even the kitchen cabinet, roll up your sleeves! There is something about the feeling of accomplishment on little things that spur us on to achieve greater tasks.
  1. Positive thinking. This may actually be the very first step to take. It shouldn’t actually be a one-time event, the process should be a never ending one. The power of positive thinking cannot be over-emphasized. Positive thinking has been known to position or set people up for success and success, we already established is a great booster of self-esteem.

‘I am enough’. ‘I can do this’. ‘I am intelligent’.

  1. Attention to self. Feel good about yourself. In saying feel good about oneself, particular attention is required to be paid to hygiene, dressing, diet and general welfare. The effect of these is especially powerful. Being confident in your looks is another essential ingredient in attaining and maintaining a rich self-esteem.
  1. Be more assertive. Stand for what you believe in. Put you foot down on issues. An assertive person is more is more in charge of her emotions, after all, whatever happens, you were a major factor.

Be more in control of the places you visit and the people you let into your circle. Don’t give room to people that make you feel less about yourself. Be surrounded with people that know and appreciate your worth.

  1. Know your strength. Find your strength and build on it. Encouragement comes from when you excel at the things that you do well. Again, the feeling of success is powerful in building self-esteem. When this is achieved, it becomes easier to stretch and push further.

Finally, the points mentioned above is not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ template as some women have had their esteem severely damaged by years of abuse and neglect, requiring professional help.

A psychotherapist should be seen in such instance. A professional that will help to uncover the circumstances that led to such levels of severity and help in developing a workable plan to rejuvenation.

Comedian, actor and producer AY Makun took to his Instagram page today to celebrate his wife, Mabel‘s birthday. He wrote a heartwarming message to her wishing her the very best and stating how much she means to him.

He wrote:

My holding on to the camera to personally capture this moment is only a reminder of my days as a photographer on the same campus where i first met you. I just can’t forget your ability of finding something interesting in an ordinary place. A place that was transformed by the heartwarming charm of a beautiful woman sent down to me from heaven.

On this special day i want you to know that the day you were born was a lucky day for me and so many people who has enjoyed the beauty of your invaluable presence. You enrich my life and i love you more than what words can ever express. Thank you for being my soulmate, my partner and most trusted friend. Happy birthday to my lovely wife @midas_interiors #mysunshine

Photo Credit: Instagram | @aycomedian

U.S. President Donald Trump’s eldest daughter, Ivanka, has announced that she is taking up an appointment in her father’s administration.

Ivanka, in a statement on Wednesday, said she will be a Special Assistant to the President but will not take a salary.

This came as her unofficial role has grown in recent weeks, and she was granted security clearance and an office at the White House, according to reports.

“I have heard the concerns some have with my advising the president in my personal capacity while voluntarily complying with all ethics rules.

And I will instead serve as an unpaid employee in the White House Office, subject to all of the same rules as other federal employees.

Throughout this process, I have been working closely and in good faith with the White House Counsel and my personal counsel to address the unprecedented nature of my role,” Ivanka said.

Ivanka’s role as ‘First Daughter’ in support of the President is unprecedented.

Ivanka’s husband, Jared Kushner, has recently been confirmed a Senior Adviser to the President.

The White House also released a statement about the new role to be played by Ivanka, saying that it is “pleased” by the move.

“Ivanka’s service as an unpaid employee furthers our commitment to ethics, transparency, and compliance.

And it affords her increased opportunities to lead initiatives driving real policy benefits for the American public that would not have been available to her previously,” the White House statement read.

When her increased security clearance and White House office were announced, Ivanka acknowledged that “there is no modern precedent for an adult child of the president”.

The official title made Ivanka’s existing role more formalized but she had been present for family events like the various inauguration celebrations as well as closed-door meetings and sit-downs with foreign leaders.

In February, she met Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau at the White House, as part of a roundtable discussion on female entrepreneurs.

She also met Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu when he visited the White House in February.

When German Chancellor Angela Merkel visited the White House earlier this month, Ivanka was seated right beside her.

When Trump held a listening session about domestic and international human trafficking on February 23, he started his remarks by thanking Ivanka for her role.

Ivanka’s involvement in business roundtable discussions has been attributed to her business background at her personal fashion label and her father’s real estate empire.

“Think like a man” is one of the most common statement women utter while trying to show they are strong.

In the new edition of her Soldiers In Red Lipstick vlog, Nollywood actress Stella Damasus explains why she does not agree with the statement.

“Why would you say to me, a fully grown woman, that for me to be successful, I have to think like a man,” she asks.

She said,

You have to be clear what you mean by think like a man because when you say stuffs like think like a man and you don’t explain it, people will take it that you are born a woman, you go through what you go through in life but at the end of the day, your major goal to be successful is for you to think like a man.

So if you say you want to be equals with a man and in the same breadth, you are saying as a woman, you should think like a man, it means you are admitting and saying that the man is more intelligent, the man is the one that has what it takes to be successful, the one that can run a business……

No, I refuse to accept that. And that is the reason why most of us women don’t that we are strong enough, smart enough, good enough and  intelligent enough.

I will not raise my daughters to think like a man.

 

I hate to break it to you, but if your life seems extra awful lately, you could be the reason why. I couldn’t figure out what was leeching the enjoyment from my life until I researched happiness. The realization that I was the reason for my long bouts of self-pity was shocking. Let me tell you, that knowledge was eye-opening and left me feeling distraught and frustrated.

Instead of dwelling on how miserable I felt, I decided to figure out how to rid my life of my nasty bad habits and find true happiness.

  1. Resisting change

Change is inevitable. Although it’s scary, change is such a positive part of your life. Fighting change traps you in a land of no progression. You remain stagnant, with no means to better yourself.

Change isn’t the problem here – your resistance to the inevitable is! Go with the flow and don’t be afraid to embrace trends and welcome new ideas. The fastest way to understand change is by getting involved and helping getting into the swing of things.

  1. Living in the past

People stuck in their glorified past miss out on all the incredible opportunities of the present. Six years ago, I was a skinny, confident, determined and unbeatable ballroom dancer with a six-pack. The more I look back at what I was, the more awful I feel about myself and my circumstances now. I realized it’s time to start loving myself for who I am at all times, instead of who I was int he past.

Choose to look at your past fondly and move on. Remember the lessons learned and the memories made, but choose live in the moment.

  1. Waiting for the future

There’s nothing wrong with looking ahead and planning for the future, but saying, “I’ll be happy when…” stops you from finding satisfaction in your life now. No matter how you finish that sentence, that long-awaited moment will never bring the happiness you’re seeking.

Instead, focus on being happy now. The future is unpredictable

4. Pessimism

Pessimism makes you (and everyone around you) miserable. Negativity only contributes to your self-pity and makes you feel worse. And honestly, nobody wants to hear you complain about how terrible your life is.

Shake off the negative and stop letting bad vibes define you. Look for the good things (no matter how small they are). Change your attitude by remembering everything isn’t as bad as it seems, and look for the light at the end of the tunnel.

5. Staying home

Staying in with your cat every weekend keeps you from an adventurous life. You’ll convince yourself that your life is a bore. If being boring is your personal goal, then you’ve met it, but most people want to be likeable and interesting.

Get up, go out, get dressed up, try something new and strive to be the dynamic character you’ve always wanted to be. Have courage and treat each day as a clean slate. Have the confidence to break out of your comfort zone every once and a while.

6. Envying

Constantly comparing yourself to others is exhausting. There will always be a “cuter” couple, a “thinner” woman or a person who seems to have unlimited funds for amazing trips.

7. Get over it.

Start pointing out the things you love about yourself. You’re just as good as everyone else and constant comparison only makes you feel (and appear) less like the amazing person you are. Who knows, someone may wish they had your life because you’re unaware of all your blessings.

Lastly, Being ungrateful : Grateful people are happier than those who aren’t. Count your blessings — it’s not a waste of time. Even the most miserable person on earth can find something they’re thankful for. So, express your gratitude, one thing at a time.

Once you understand the ways you’re killing your happiness, break those bad habits. Psychologist Timothy Pychyl said, “Breaking a habit really means establishing a new habit.” Give it a try. What do you have to lose… your happiness?”

Source: Family Share

 

Francesca Onomarie Uriri is the Founder of Leading Ladies Africa, a women empowerment non-profit that celebrates the lives of African women, and promotes gender inclusion. She equips African women with the skills they need to succeed in life and business through effective mentoring, organizing capacity building events and showcasing the achievements of successful women to inspire others. In this women’s month, she presents LLA’s 100 Most Inspiring Women List 2017, and also tells NIKE SOTADE what drives her passion to assist women

Tell us about yourself, education, family, career path
I’m the Founder of Leading Ladies Africa, a women-focused, registered non-profit that promotes Leadership, Inclusion and Diversity among women of African heritage. I am also a Public Relations and Communications Consultant, working out of the Nigerian office of a global PR Agency. I have nearly 12 years experience in media strategy and management, perception management, image consulting, perception and crisis management, and event planning and management. I’ve got a wide assortment of interests, which include reading, watching Crime & Investigation, writing, eating, travelling and meeting people.

I come from a small, close-knit family; made up of my mom, and older brother. Sadly, my father passed on two years ago, but I’ve got a small circle of friends and relatives who are the next best thing to having a large family. Education-wise, I did all my schooling in Lagos – Nigerian Navy Primary School Ojo and Malu Road, Nigerian Navy Secondary School Ojo, and the University of Lagos. But because I was a military child, and my father moved around a lot, I’ve seen quite a bit of Nigeria, and travelling personally has also helped me visit some of the most incredible places in the world.

How did you found Leading Ladies Africa?
Leading Ladies Africa was created initially to be a platform that inspired women with the stories and achievements of other women. But as the vision grew, it became clear to me that raising a generation of female African leaders was important, if not essential. I realised that the task of transforming Africa, and reshaping the cultural and socio-economic narrative would be impossible without women. So the challenge was, how do you raise women to see and think of themselves as leaders? What skills do they require? How can they learn from the experiences of other women, leading in the fields of governance, enterprise, advocacy and business (corporate professions)? As we’ve grown these are some of the issues we’ve created solutions for.

What’s your perception of the African woman and your vision her?
If I look at the women in my family – my mother, my aunties, cousins and friends – I see strength; strength of character, and the power of vision. The African woman is strong, bold, driven and an incredible multi-tasker. I say this, not because it’s a cliché, but because it is true. From the Tomato farms in Kano Nigeria, to the tea plantations in Kericho, Kenya, from politics, to business and civil society, women are putting in the work and are achieving great results. If I even speak from a personal perspective, the women within my network are focused, and are making consistent, measurable impact in all fields of endeavour.

So the African woman is indeed the one who is building sustainable structures with the bricks life has thrown her, and I celebrate her for that.

To what extent have you been able to network among women such that you could profile 100 at a go?
That’s a great question. The list itself, took about four to five months to compile, and remember that it was done in conjunction with YNaija in commemoration of International Women’s Day, so we definitely didn’t do it alone. That being said, the LLA platform is very strong on profiling women who are doing incredible work across board, so we constantly have our eyes and ears out on who’s doing what and when. In addition to that, the list started with about 300-400 names, but passed through a rigorous vetting process, which included reviews from our partners and those within the women empowerment space. We wanted to be sure that the list was a reflection of the core LLA values of promoting Leadership, Inclusion and Diversity.

You also sit on the board of the Future Project, what are the objectives of the organisation?
The Future Project is an organization that is building empowered citizens across Africa, with a special focus on Leadership, Enterprise and Advocacy. They are also the organisers of the hugely successful The Future Awards Africa – one of Africa’s most prestigious awards ceremonies; it identifies the brightest and best young Africans and deploys them as role models; to inspire a generation of Africans to hope and to believe in their capacities to change their countries. I am particularly honoured to serve on the board, because it has opened up my eyes to see that the only way to truly build and transform Africa, is to raise a network of empowered and knowledgeable citizens, who are equipped to lead and run enterprises.

You are a very busy woman with many things to accomplish. What keeps you going in the face of challenges?
Oh wow. The first thing is prayer. I go through challenges like everyone else, and sometimes, I get overwhelmed by the pressures of the things I have to achieve, and life in general. So I make it a point of necessity to pray at least once or twice every day, and to study my Bible; luckily, I have the YouVersion Bible App on my phone, so it’s easy for me to tune out and get a word that uplifts and directs me. I find that praying calms me down – mentally and emotionally, and causes me to think and process things better.

I also have what I call my “inner circle,” friends I can call on at any time of the day, who help me think through or pray through some of life’s challenges. My mentors also help me process challenges, especially professional and personal ones – because they’ve been there before and can understand where I’m coming from.

And lastly, I’m passionate about the things I do. Passion fuels the vision. So the days when I’m dejected and discouraged, I remember that God is the author of the vision I run with, and so He will ultimately show me the hows and the whens. Not always easy to do, but ultimately rewarding and fulfilling.

To what extent have you been able to empower women with the LLA project?
We empower women through a variety of ways – our editorial content, specialized events and workshops, and mentoring programmes. Our content creates a platform where women can learn about other women doing incredible things, and connect with them, so they collaborate and achieve even bigger goals. We have quarterly specialized events and workshops called the “Power Talk Series,” where women from specific career and professional backgrounds have the opportunity to learn, be inspired, and connect with one another. These workshops also train women on specific areas of business and career like funding, capacity building, scaling and all of that. We’ve recorded success stories of women going off to start their own businesses, and improve their careers after attending the workshops, so for us, that’s a way to measure impact.

Any experiences in life that made you become so passionate about women issues?
Growing up as a child, I was surrounded by strong, intentional, women who juggled a lot of things but seemed to succeed at them all – at least to varying degrees. My mother for instance, practically raised my brother and I single-handedly in our early years, because my father was in the military and was away a lot. As a grown woman now, I see how difficult and challenging that would have been, but somehow she made it work. And as I grew up, I found that I was drawn to the lives of purposeful, powerful women, who used their influence for something greater than themselves, who were not afraid to be different and chart their own course. Women like Benazir Bhutto, Gail Devers, Funmi Iyanda and even Princess Diana. There was something almost defiant and proud about the way they chose to be themselves, and express their gifts to humanity. All of those experiences would subliminally create a passion for female and gender issues.

My late father, also played a huge role. As a girl child, I was never told that there was anything I could not do. I was encouraged to climb trees, go racing with the boys, play soccer, and essentially do the things that came naturally to me. He encouraged my brother and me, to speak our minds frequently and honestly, without fear. So growing up under those circumstances sort of re-enforced to me that women can do anything they set their minds to.

In starting Leading Ladies Africa, the goal is to encourage women to become leaders in whatever sector or sphere they find themselves. To build capacity, and the skills that require them to participate in conversations on nation building and socio-economic transformation.

Who are your role models?
I have several of these – women that I know and even, some that I don’t know. So it will be a disservice to mention some and not the others. But any woman who is making a consistent and deliberate change to society and humanity is my role model.

What motivates you?
Love for what I do. Results for the work we put in. Success stories of women who’ve gone off to achieve monumental things after encountering LLA. Stories of women making change and shattering boundaries globally. Support and affirmation from my friends and family. And God.

You are looking ever young. Tell us your beauty routine.
Oh, thank you! First, I look the way I do, mainly due to genes, we have this Benjamin Button scenario playing out in my family (lol). That being said, I walk for an hour three times a week, I try to exfoliate my skin thrice a week, I drink loads of water and I try not to use makeup frequently, so my skin can breathe. Lastly, and perhaps, more importantly, I try to declutter my mind, laugh from my heart and find new ways to preserve and nurture my joy and peace of mind.

What’s your message for women in this women’s month?
Live your dreams out loud in full colour. Start now; don’t wait for the perfect time or perfect moment – it’ll never come. Become the person that you seek others to be to you. And learn to be intentional and disciplined about achieving your goals and visions.

Culled from : Guardian

In the article, renowed writer  Catherine  Kupta stated that in her opinion, the reason why we see so few highly successful women at the top is that women are not as aware as men are of the power of personal branding, whether it’s self-promotion, projecting confidence or strategic networking. She then gives seven tips for success based on her discussions with over 150 highly successful women.

We hope these tips make your journey to the boardroom smoother and shorter.

Enjoy!

  1. Speak out at meetings

In general, women tend to speak up less than men in meetings and wait to be asked a direct question before they speak. While this can be polite behaviour, it can be misinterpreted. People might even think that you lack ideas or confidence or talent. You have to learn to join the business conversation and confidently express your ideas if you want to be successful.

  1. Stay “on brand”

Highly successful women know what they stand for and are authentic and consistent in the way they present themselves at every touch point too, whether it’s participating in meetings, leaving a succinct voicemail message on the phone, composing an email or attending corporate events.

  1. Don’t under-market yourself.

Humility may be a virtue but women can take it too far! One global study of male and female leadership found that most women tend to downplay their accomplishments, while men tend to promote their accomplishments. Highly successful women don’t leave career success to chance. They learn how to promote themselves and figure out a way to do it that’s authentic and effective. After all, if you don’t market yourself, who will?

  1. Fake it until you make it

Women are notorious at feeling that they’re not ready for a new assignment or promotion unless they can check off every box in the skill set required for the position. Highly successful women often tell me that they forced themselves to go after stretch assignments even if they weren’t ready. Sometimes you need to “fake it until you make it,” to get over the initial jitters and until you feel confident in a new role.

  1. Be visibility minded

Many women are visibility challenged and are not well-known outside of a very small network. Talent is important, but visibility separates those who are wildly successful from those who are just doing okay. That’s because there is a “visibility premium.” If you’re well-known, people think you are better than others who are not so well- known. She must be good because she’s well-known in the company is how the thinking goes.

  1. Pay attention to style

Women are scrutinised more in the business world, so you might as well turn it into an advantage! Realise that your clothes, hairstyle, office, even your make-up convey “messages” to others. You want to convey the right message for your organisation but have your own style. For most career women, there’s one important message your image must convey; you must project authority.

  1. Take a power pose

Poses such as standing tall, leaning in towards others or expansive hand gestures convey high power. Crossing arms across your chest or crossing your legs convey low power. Highly successful women try to use high power poses to underscore the words that they use.

Source: Source: Catherine Kaputa at http://www.hrzone.com

Mary Jean Treolar is the Founding Director of three Jewellery brands and a partner in a Interior and product design company. She has a Bsc in Interior Architecture from the University of Pretoria. She started MARY JEAN in 2014.

MΛRY JEΛN is a South African brand of fine, handmade jewellery inspired by the beauty and simplicity of the bold, geometric patterns and meaningful symbols found throughout – and unique to – the African continent. The brand designs and manufactures fine handmade jewellery that is inspired by patterns and symbols found across the African continent. Each symbol has a meaning behind it and so all the handcrafted pieces have within them a story and a uniquely delicate yet bold design.

Having grown up in a creative family that has an incredible love of geology and semi-precious gemstones, Mary Jane went on many remote family holidays across Southern Africa where she and her sibllings would dig for and find their own gemstones. Her father then taught her how to cut, shape and polish them. She started her  first jewellery brand called ‘The lucky bean range’ that still currently supplies jewellery exclusively to the luxury safari industry.

During an interview with Lioness Of Africa, she said;

MΛRY JEΛN Jewellery came about April 2014, out of a desire to develop a personal brand where I could design truly unique, quality handcrafted and African inspired jewellery that could run alongside my other brand, as well as challenge me as a designer and manufacturer.

Mary Jean Treolar is skilled in Jewellery Manufacturing, Jewellery Design, Interior Architecture, Product Design, Concept Art, and Interior Design.

OAP Uwanma Odefa is out with a new Vlog where she shares her thoughts on love, life and everything in between, and this time she is listing out the 5 sexual mistakes men make.

She says:

There are some universal mistakes most men make when it comes to sex and pleasuring their partners. We don’t expect him to be a porn star expert, but there are some common mistakes most men make when it comes to sexually satisfying their partners. And because men are sensitive especially when it comes to their sexual prowess and expertise; tying their manhood and ego to it, we women will often shy away from making corrections. We also would not say anything for fear of being labelled a slut.

Well, I’ve taken it upon myself to share these mistakes based on experience and research. Share it with your man if you can’t tell him and with your friends; you never know who you’re helping. And remember, regardless of what I say or what anybody says; it’s your life so do what makes you happy