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TALI STATEMENT ON THE INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY

The International Women’s Day on the 8th of March this year 2017, reminds us of the successes, the strides, efforts and commitments women and girls themselves have achieved for their own emancipation. It enables us to reflect on the efforts made by government such as Zimbabwe since independence in 1980 to enhance the lives of women and girls. We reminisce on attainments by the civic society to speak and represent those without voices including fighting for a gender constitution like the 2013 one. Passions are reignited and plans to continue with the work and to do better. All these actions look like supporting this year’s global theme

#BeBoldForChange.

Countries such as Zimbabwe still grapple with many challenges, chief among them financial resources to ensure funding of the implementation of all laws such as the new Constitution of Zimbabwe, policies and national action plans that seek to improve the lives of women and girls, and to eliminate violence and discrimination. The recent national budget has a significant amount of money towards funding education,  a good gesture from the Minister of Finance Patrick Chinamasa, however we still have hundreds of thousands of young people out of school who need free education which is enshrined in the constitution. The government of Zimbabwe still suffers setbacks in its national plans to execute best education for all, with the recently launched curriculum seen by many as failing to address in its implementation, the realities of many scholars who come from poor families, and the economic struggles that have been caused by job looses in the current environment in Zimbabwe with more than 90% of citizens being unemployed. Girls suffer the brunt of lack of access to education and when that happens, there is increase in child marriages, human trafficking, sexual exploitation, child labor, of which these all add up to increase in HIV incidences, poverty among many of their vulnerabilities.

Girls and young women also face challenges in finding role models, mentors, sponsors and people who can support their efforts for their advancement. When girls have mentors, sponsors and supporters, they can make right decisions about their own careers and sexual reproductive health, they can achieve greatness in life. Young women who have someone who points them in the right direction and sometimes opens doors of opportunities are able to compete with their male counterparts, who often have access to mentors and sponsors including a social setup that supports them from birth.

This year as in our tradition including the previous few years, TaLI is taking some #BeBoldForChange steps in partnership with Vital Voices, a Global organisation which works to promote women leadership, in hosting a Mentorship programme on the 8th of March 2016 at the University of Zimbabwe(UZ) for students from the UZ and Women’s University in Africa(WUA), matching them up with successful women to begin a mentorship relationship with which runs for the next 6months. The mentorship programme is expected to provide some desperately needed support in the business, career and other areas of their lives where they find challenges.

The mentors are women who are at different levels in their lives, some are business women, managers, directors of different companies, NGOs who are passionate about young women and are interested in giving back. They are giving back their time, donating their money to the event, sponsoring through their companies and are also engaging as partners in the TaLI programme for the young women. The door is still open to those women and men who can support the work in one way or the other, and even wanting to be mentors to these young women. We are looking forward in 2017 and beyond, to individuals, companies and organisations who want to #BeBoldForChange and want to support this effort to get in touch with us on the details below. We appreciate the role the media has played in supporting such efforts over the years and are welcome to support. We are happy to tweet, Facebook and share ideas on social media on the day and we join the world in using the following hashtags to raise our voices for girls and young women: #BeBoldForChange #TaLI #TagALife #MentoringWalk #IDW2017.

Tag a Life International Trust (TaLI) is a girls and young women’s rights organisation thats been operating in Zimbabwe over the last 7years to empower girls, as well as working with communities and law makers to achieve this. The organisation works with men, boys, women, communities, local leaders in Zimbabwe, within the region and the globe to advance the rights of girls and young women.

For more information about this event and other ones, contact us on the details below.

Tag a Life International Trust (TaLI) – Making the World a Safe Place for the Girl Child.

Email: tag.alife@gmail.com, Mobile: 0777 549 090

No 52 Glamorgan Belvedere ,Harare

 

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ONE OF AFRICA’S BIGGEST FASHION ICON ADDS ANOTHER YEAR

Fashion Amazon of Africa- Dressmeoutlet.com on Friday March 3, 2017 celebrated her Founder/CEO; Mrs. Olatorera Oniru who is an exemplary leader, a driving force to be reckoned with in the African e-commerce scene, an outstanding keynote speaker and advocate of women empowerment and women in leadership across borders.

The Nigerian woman who is building the Fashion Amazon of Africa is ’30 and Fabulous’ with numerous accolades from local and international media organizations and awards shows. Olatorera Oniru is currently leading initiatives to realize a pinnacle in Africa history where we would rely less on importation and more on our natural resources. She travels across Africa, into rural communities and more in search of idiosyncratic fashions and eclectic designers to retail on the site. She has plans to source in China, UAE, South Africa, Ethiopia and more in the next coming months.

Before starting out as an entrepreneur, Olatorera worked as head of sales governance for Fortune 5000 company Ericsson, focusing on the Sub-Sahara African region. She also worked with Merrill Lynch as a senior analyst and with General Electric as a financial management intern. If her work foundation isn’t impressive enough, as is her education: graduating Cum Laude Honors Bachelor of Science degree in Business Administration and Management from North Carolina A&T State University and an MBA in Finance, Leadership, and Management from Emory University. She founded DressMeOutlet from her personal savings and has a personal runway to successfully finance the business for up to the next 5 years.

There is a lot in store for Dressmeoutlet.com. While Olatorera will continue to provide the best fashion and beauty products, they want to continue to grow and enter new territories, increasing their supplier database and multiplying the amount of customers they service.

Olatorera encourages young African entrepreneurs by telling them, “Push your dreams further, don’t let anything/anybody stop you from doing something great in the world”  “Please do it. Go out there and do it, one step at a time, one day at a time, one handshake at a time, one clap at a time, one achievement at a time.” Olatorera is leading by example and her tenacity and strategic abilities will grow Dressmeoutlet.com exponentially as they continue to be a major player in the African e-commerce market.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CELEBRATING TARA DUROTOYE AT 40, THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY TRAILBLAZER

In Nigeria, the beauty industry has grown by leaps and bounds. A report by Euromonitor projected the Nigerian beauty and wellness market to value about $3 billion in 2017. Beyond the figures is an amazing woman, Mrs Tara-Fela Duroye who pioneered the beauty industry in Nigeria.According to a report by  Festus Iyorah .

In the late 90s, just after Nigeria’s return to full democracy in 1999, civilization had taken its toll on every sector: the telecommunication sector was booming, the banking sector had already earned the trust of Nigerians, the entertainment industry featuring the likes of Tony Tetuila, The Remedies and The Plantashun Boiz, was the rave of the moment mix.

No one talked about the beauty industry. It was left bare, untapped. No one noticed or saw prospect in it except a 20 year-old law student, Tara, who at that time was juggling the demands of law school with an overlooked, untapped beauty business no one believed in. Then she launch her start up, house of Tara with little capital and of course no studio.

From Oprah Winfrey to Nigeria’s Folurusho Alakija every entrepreneur’s have experienced myriads of challenges while building their businesses. Ms Durotoye case was not different. In the beginning, the main challenge tempting to rip off her dream, her vision was getting a space to operate; a makeup studio that would see to the demands of customers. At first she started from her living room, a makeshift studio where she did test make up for her customers. Sometimes, she would go from house to house to do make up for brides until 1998 when she finally opened her first studio, a rented boy’s quarter.

“I rented a location because I felt a need that some of my brides coming to my home needed more privacy while I did their test makeup,” she said in an interview.

In 1999 she launched the first ever bridal directory and in 2005 she established the country’s first makeup school, launched the Tara Product line and hosted Nigeria’s first Make-up conference in 2014.

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Close up: Who’s Tara Fela-Durotoye

Tara Fela-Durotoye is the Creative Director and CEO of House of Tara International. Aside from being a certified lawyer, she recognizes the need for self-improvement, updating herself in the beauty industry by pursuing a course tied to make up at Charles Fox, Convent Garden, London.

In the early months of the year, March, 6, 1977, Tara was born in Lagos into the family of John Ejegi Sagay and Felicia Omaghomi. She started her elementary education at Command Children School, Victoria Island and was offered admission at Nigeria Navy Secondary School, Ojo. From there she proceeded to Lagos State University where she bagged a degree in Law.

In a society where the quest for pursuing white collar job is rife, one would expect Mrs Tara to be in the chambers, pursuing a vision related to her course of study, law.

But she didn’t.

Today, House of Tara has built an empire in the beauty industry with franchise spread across Nigeria and West African countries of Senegal, Ghana and Benin Republic. She has won many awards and recognition including Forbes Young Power Women in Africa, the World Economic Forum’s Young Global Leaders, and the Future Awards Young Person of the Year and Young Entrepreneur of the Year among other awards.

In December 2016, she was recognized by the Committee of Wives of Lagos State Officials (COWLSO) as the Inspirational woman of the year. The award recognizes pacesetters in Lagos state irrespective of their tribes or ethnic affinities.

Her work and profile has been profiled on several international platforms including the New York Forum Africa (NYFA), France 24, Bloomberg and CNN African Voices, a weekly show that highlights Africa’s most engaging personalities.

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House of Tara: More than a brand

Today, House of Tara International has become a household name in the developments of makeup, perfume and accessories created to meet the needs of Africa’s booming beauty market. With over 3,000 representatives and over 20 stores, House of Tara competes with international brands like MAC and Maybelline.

Furthermore, House of Tara brands promotes Nigeria’s culture and inspiration to young people. Mrs Fela Durotoye has gone beyond creating a unique brand to inspiring young African women. She believes African young women should be trained and mentored.

“For us, our brand is one that promotes our culture, ethnicity and language. It is also a brand that has empowered young women for financial independence,” she told Nigeria’s BusinessDay in an interview.

This birthed the Nigeria’s first make up school, the House of Tara Makeup School founded in 2007. The school has trained over 3,000 female graduates who are active players in African beauty industry.

Few years after establishing the Makeup school, Tara launched the Tara Product line, a brand that promotes ethics and ethnicity, by empowering young women for economic independence without moral compromise. The Tara Product line comprises a range of professional toolkit including eye shadows, eye liners, powders, lip gloss and foundation.

Beyond House of Tara Makeup School, Tara initiated the Tara Orekelewa beauty representative initiative. This initiative which seeks to make young women financially independent succeeded in empowering young ladies, about 4000 ladies in the tertiary institution.

Recently, she started the Tara Fela Durotoye series, a concept initiated by her mentor, Mrs. Ibukun Awosika. The series was inspired by the fact that Mrs Awosika had seen the impact that the time she’d spent with Ms Durotoye had, so, she felt that there is a need to mentor more young women—to shape their purpose in life, how to be successful at work, how to make the right choices for a spouse and tips on wealth creation and management.

“One of the greatest things about the TFD series is that we are “Paying it forward”. If you have attended in the past, you are encouraged to pass on the teachings to a group of younger women in your network to create a ripple effect,” she said in an interview last year.

Source:  LeadingLadies Africa

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JAY HILL : WHAT NOT TO DO ANYMORE WHEN YOU TURN 24

Congratulations on making it to 24! You’re still young, but you’re starting to move into fully-mature adulthood. So how exactly should you change you life for the better? Start by following this guide that outlines 10 things you should stop doing right now!

  1. Stop buying cheap clothes.

As a teenager and young adult, it’s fine to buy clothes and only wear them a few times, changing them as fashion dictates. However, now you’re older and probably settling into your first serious job, it’s time to start taking style more seriously. Invest in a few key pieces rather than buying a new wardrobe every few weeks.

  1. Stop dating unsuitable ones.

It can be hard to find someone worthy of your time and attention, but by the time you reach your mid-twenties, you should have a better idea about what you need in a partner. Don’t waste your time on experimenting with people who you know, deep down, are not right for you. Strike a balance between being realistic and being too willing to give people a chance.

  1. Stop caring what other people think.

It’s human nature to worry about what other people think of us, and no-one likes to feel as though they are being judged or criticized. However, being overly concerned with others’ opinions can cause you to lose sleep and even sacrifice your cherished dreams and ambitions in favour of living someone else’s idea of a great life. Trust your own judgement first and foremost.

  1. Stop blaming your parents.

Sure, no-one’s parents are perfect and yours probably made their fair share of mistakes. However, it’s too easy to fall into the trap of blaming your parents or your upbringing for any current issues you may have. This isn’t productive, and will sour familial relationships.

  1. Stop holding onto old hopes and dreams.

Are you guilty of holding onto aspirations that you really would be best off releasing? It may be time to trade in your old goals and ambitions for newer, more realistic aims. This doesn’t mean you have to give up on your vision of an ideal life, just that you need to keep your aspirations realistic.

  1. Stop living in denial about your finances.

Those years when you could get away with being oblivious to the intricacies of your financial situation are over. It’s time to get responsible and set up a decent savings account, together with a pension plan if you haven’t got one already.

  1. Stop being too nice.

This is an extension of Point 3, above, but deserves its own point. Stop people-pleasing. By your age, you should have a good idea of what you are capable of, and where your limits are. Learning how to say ‘no’ is an important step on the road to maturity.

  1. Stop wasting so much time on the internet.

This is a tough one. These days, it seems as though everyone is addicted to the internet. We use it to find information, keep in touch with friends…and most of the time just browse social media unconsciously…wasting plenty of time. Learn to set time limits for yourself. You could even try one completely internet-free day per week.

  1. Stop taking your health and fitness for granted.

Most of us can subject our bodies to late nights, too much alcohol and excessive junk food in college without feeling the after-effects. Unfortunately, as you move into your mid-twenties and then into your thirties, your body isn’t quite up to the task any more. Time to start eating more healthily and limiting those wild late nights!

  1. Stop being messy.

How many hours have you lost looking for your wallet, cell or keys? Make this the year you finally start getting your possessions in order. Nothing makes you feel more mature than knowing exactly where your stuff is.

Source: Lifehack.org

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AKUDO ABENOGWE-ADEBAYO: NO, I DON’T BELONG IN THE KITCHEN

I vividly remember my article ‘Lagos Hustle’, where I narrated my daily activities in a bid to paint the picture of how stressful it is to work or live in Lagos. I read the various responses about how I was trying to be a super woman. Some people even called my husband a lazy man who was not helping me in anyway. While I enjoy reading the comments and feedbacks, sometimes I think we are too quick to judge without checking the angles to understand what the writer is trying to say.

I am first a woman, before I became a wife and a mother. As a growing girl, I had dreams, things I hoped to achieve, status I wanted to attain, lives I wanted to touch, and I will still try to achieve those dreams.

This is what drives me. My dreams shouldn’t change because marriage and motherhood happened, no. As much as I would try my best to make a success of my roles as a wife and a mother, I should also try and make a success of my dreams.

The worst thing that can happen to any human is to live an unfulfilled life. I don’t think it’s right to think that marriage or motherhood is enough validation as a human, there has to be more to life. I love my husband and children, but I also love ME and will strive to make ME happy. So every hustle I make is not because I don’t have an option of staying at home to be a good wife and mother, every hustle is because I had my dreams as a girl and I want to make them happen.

It will be total injustice for a girl to endure the stress of getting educated or skilled and then throw them away on the altar of being a wife and mother, well if it works for you, good, but it does not work for me.

And that is why I have a problem with being told plainly without mincing words that my place is in the kitchen and bedroom. I disagree. I don’t think any man would set out to marry a dumb, foolish girl as a wife. What kind of kids would she give you? How would she even be able to take care of your home? Marrying such a woman will be tantamount to inviting unending stress into your life because you will end up doing double roles.

I believe that one of the qualities men look out for when picking a wife is smartness, they need to be assured that God forbid if anything happens to them, their kids and properties will be ably handled and safeguarded by their wives. So they marry smart women. Assuming they have political ambitions, they not only marry smart women they go for the ones that are skilled at communication and winning people to their sides, and they bring out their wives to campaign for them when the need arises. How can you then tell me to my face, after bearing and training your children for you, after giving you both moral, emotional, psychological and financial support (if need be) that I belong to the kitchen, just because I am bold enough to air my opinion?

I remember back then as an undergraduate, I knew someone who would always say he wanted to marry me. I thought he was joking about it then. One day, he came to the house and started again with his usual talk, so I told him to get on his knees and propose to me. It was a joke but he took offence and said, what if he got on his knees and I refused to marry him, how would he get up? That as a titled man it was a taboo for him to kneel for a woman. So I told him that my greatest desire is for my fiancé to propose to me on his knees. That was the end of his marriage proposal, he stopped saying it and even avoided coming to the house if I was around.

America is on the verge of having a woman as its first female president. Will we ever have such achievement with politics in Nigeria, if we are constantly reminded that we belong to the kitchen? So I say so, I don’t belong in the kitchen, I also have a dream and will strive to achieve it, so help me God!

Source: Bellanaija

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TALE ALIMI: 5 MARKETING LESSONS FROM NOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTERS

2016 will be remembered as the year of Nollywood blockbuster movies.

As the year was rounding off, we were inundated with the promotion of various new movies, most of which had great reviews from TIFF (Toronto international film festival).

I was spoiled for choice trying to decide which ones I was going to watch, but I finally settled on a few good ones and I must say; they were worth the time and money spent.

While I was giving them kudos for putting out good production, I was not paying attention to the effect it was having on the economy until the beginning of this year.

A few days into the New Year, myself and a business partner were analysing the 2016 economic performance and expectedly, most key sectors had a decline in growth due to the recession, but the tourism and entertainment sector experienced growth mostly fuelled by the growth in activities in Nollywood.

Last week, one of those movies shattered the current Guinness book of record for highest earning film in West Africa with revenues of almost half a billion naira in a country that is supposed to be in a recession!

I immediately put my business strategist hat on to glean marketing lessons from these blockbuster movies that businesses can apply to grow their revenues.

Lesson 1: Mass appeal
These movies had an appeal that cut across social, religious or gender class. They were mostly easy to watch, relatable and connected with current cultural nuances. Even the movies that were based on historical events created enough nostalgia that made you feel like you were relieving the past.

When you position your product or service to appeal to as many people as possible in your selected market space, you are going to sell more or reach more people and in turn earn more revenue.

Lesson 2: Inclusive campaign
In this age of social media, it is very easy to carry your customers and fans along, as you create anticipation for your products or services. Some of these movies carried fans along by showing behind-the-scene pictures, videos and even involving them as the script and characters developed.

By the time the movies came out, the fans appetite have been whet consistently, that they were ready to run to the cinemas to watch them.
When you are creating your products or services, you can leverage on instant feedback from your prospective clients or fans to ensure that you are creating something they will buy.

Lesson 3: Influence marketing
Meet and greet with celebrities during movie premiers and launches have become commonplace. Most of the cast of these movies were present in various cinemas to meet with their fans, and fans were willing to go to the cinemas several times to meet with them.

The use of influence marketing has become quite popular, as you see major brands signing up celebrities as brand ambassadors.

I quite like the idea of the celebrities leveraging their influence to mobilize their fans to see their movies and take selfies with them. Small business have to also begin to find ways to leverage influence marketing to drive revenues.

Lesson 4: Community mobilization
People were encouraged to see the movies over and over again with their family member, friends, colleagues etc. I heard some stories of people who went to see a particular movie 5 times!

Using social and peer influence to mobilize people is one of the most effective ways to market products and services and it is quite popular among network marketing companies.

You can create a marketing campaign that encourages your customers to carry their friends and colleagues along and you will have a marketing team without the payroll!

Lesson 5: Sweeten the deal
Isn’t it amazing that you could watch a movie that cost you under five thousand naira (refreshments included) and stand a chance to win a phone, car or even a trip abroad? Movie promoters have become apt at sweetening the deal for movie goers.

Even though just a hand full of people will eventually win, but it gives people something to look forward to beyond just watching a movie, because you could get over 10 times or 100 times the value of your investment  – if you win in the raffle draw.

These five lessons are not exhaustive, but I believe you can draw some inspiration from them as you create your future marketing campaign.

If you want to get specific strategies and tactics you can leverage to drive your marketing activities and increase your revenues, then my upcoming Marketing master class will benefit you. You can learn more about it and register here.

Tale Alimi

About Tale Alimi

‘Tale is an Entrepreneurial thought leader, foremost Business expert, coach& strategist with an expertise in guiding business owners and professionals to up-level their business and revenues. She is on a mission to help people find their niche and stop the struggle in starting and growing a business which she personally experienced in starting and struggling in several businesses before she finally began to achieve success. She has a Masters in Business Administration from Lagos business school, a certificate in personal coaching from the coaching academy UK and is currently the Lead coach/CEO at Tale Alimi Global( talealimi.com.com). Get daily business inspiration when you follow her on twitter (http://twitter.com/talealimi) and Instagram(https://www.instagram.com/talealimi).

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#INTERVIEW| ”THE ONLY THING LIMITING YOU IS YOURSELF” -CHIOMA MADUEKE, CO-FOUNDER, ZIDORA AID FOUNDATION

Chioma Madueke is a Geophysics graduate, a serial entrepreneur, and a philanthropist. She runs Zidora Consults; a travel and tour company, and Zidora Real Estate; a real Estate company. She is quite passionate about putting smiles on faces of the less privileged, and making the society a better place. She co-founded Zidora Aid Foundation; a not-for-profit Non-Governmental charity organisation borne out of the need to help alleviate the suffering of  Nigerians and by extension , the world.

 

Childhood

I will say in a way it did because I grew up with a strong mother figure and I got my first love for business , entrepreneurship and charity work from my mom. My father is also an entrepreneur and a businessman , I believe I got my sense of accountability and my flair for figures from him.

 

Meet Me
My name is Mrs. Chioma Madueke , I am a Wife ,mother and a serial entrepreneur. I run a travel and tour company that assists people to get visas and book flight tickets :Zidora Consults, a real Estate company ; Zidora Real Estate , and I am also a Co-founder of a charity organisation ; Zidora Aid Foundation. I was born in Calabar , I studied applied Geophysics at the University level, I am a moralist by principle , I am passionate about God , family ,business and the society.

Zidora Aid Foundation
Zidora Aid Foundation ZAF , is a not-for-profit Non-Governmental charity organisation borne out of the need to do our bit to alleviate the suffering of my fellow Nigerians and by extension , the world. We seek to empower women , educate children and better society. We do these through sustainable programs like the EDUCATION 2020 project and the Zidora Infant Nutrition programs designed to empower , educate and subsequently eradicate suffering and poverty. We also distribute relief materials , food materials and study material to all who need it , we provide legal and medical aid , as well as financial empowerment programs .

 

Motivation
I will say I am motivated by “people” , I am very interested in human beings ,from the mallam selling biscuits and sweets out of a kiosk to the market woman , to the CEO of a fortune 500 company , I am interested in people , their thought process , their dreams , fears, hopes, the relationships they form, what makes them tick basically.

 

Greatest reward
I think the greatest reward is that feeling of satisfaction that I am doing exactly what I was called to do. When I first graduated and started my various businesses , I was caught up in the rat race of trying to make money and more money…But as I grew and evolved , I began to be affected by the stories I heard , the suffering of people which I encountered and I realised there is more to life than the next big business or investment , I sought out ways to help someone other than myself hence Zidora Aid Foundation.

Challenges
I think the foremost challenge as a woman is the work-family balance. I believe this is a challenge faced by women all over the world but we are able to achieve all we achieve even while doing family duties because us women are blessed with the power to multi-task. Another challenge is the Nigerian factor , some imposters who approach zidora aid foundation seeking for assistance when they really do not need it but as an organisation , we have ways of verifying claims and this has helped us.

 

Projects and activities
Zidora Aid Foundation spearheads the EDUCATION2020 project ; a project designed to wipe out illiteracy in rural communities by the year 2020.At ZAF , we believe the best way to wipe out illiteracy is through education. Hence , ZAF through the Education2020 preoject is building schools , distributing books , school uniforms and other study materials to students aged 2 to 18 years in rural communities. We are also committed to enrolling students who can’t afford JAMB /WAEC registration fees as well as awarding scholarships to outstanding students and organising extra lessons for students who aren’t doing well in their studies. This is a project very dear to my heart.
I am also organising a forum for Women in Real Estate ,encouraging women to take charge of their finances , their future and make wise real estate investments.

 

On giving up
Yes , sure . There have been points in business when I felt like throwing in the towel but I am well aware that so long as you keep keeping on ,persistent and consistent ,then you haven’t failed just yet but the moment you quit , then have you failed. When I first got into the travel industry , there were so many challenges but we were able to build Zidora Consults to what is it today ; a company that a very high success rate with various country’s visas, exceeds our set targets and goals and does work we are proud of.

I am a Woman of Rubies
I am a Woman of Rubies , because I am diligent in my work , mindful of my household and doing my bit to better the society. It may not be possible to have it all at once but I believe we should at least attempt to have a balanced life. I am a product of my experiences and the lessons life has taught me , I am wiser and stronger than I used to be , I have a solid foundation and I pray daily for wisdom to handle challenges life throws at me.

 

Final Words To Women
Women are the most fantastic species God created , we are blessed with so much skill set and wisdom and it is possible to achieve just as much as the men folk if not more. God has blessed you with a far superior brain and a fantastic skill set which if well utilised , will change the world. The only thing limiting you is yourself ,whatever a man can achieve , you can do too and surpass. As women , we are the bedrock of society , the anchor that holds it all together. Together , we are greater than the sum of our individual parts, let us shun the stereotypes and uplift each other because together , we will achieve more than we can achieve individually.

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WHEN I FOUND OUT AT 14 THAT I WAS HIV POSITIVE, I DIDN’T THINK I WOULD LIVE TO SEE 18,I AM TURNING 22 THIS YEAR – SAIDY BROWN, ACTIVIST & HIVICTOR

Since Saidy Brown tweeted about her status, thousands of people all over the world have re-shared her hopeful message, with many praising her courage for speaking publicly about her own experience with the virus.

Activist Saidy, who describes herself as an HIVictor in her Twitter bio, has been speaking to the BBC about the extraordinary reaction to her post, why it took so long for her to be diagnosed and how she is turning a predicament to a cause.

Meet Saidy

I am a 21 year old girl from a small township in the North West called Itsoseng,I am a sister,a daughter a niece and an HIVictor.

Finding out

When I was 14, I went to a youth day event to represent my school. At the event there were people who do HIV tests, counselling and everything else.

“When we got there, they asked us if we would like to test. I was one of the people who got tested. That’s how I found out.

“I was shocked, I was in denial, I couldn’t believe it. I was only 14 at the time so I was like: ‘How? I’m only 14… I haven’t done anything. How?’

“But when I got home and told my aunt and she was the one who told me that no, I’d actually been born with it. My parents had died from Aids-related diseases, which I had never known.

“My mum passed away when I was 10, my dad when I was nine.”

Living with HIV

I initially wanted to cry, but I couldn’t because I knew that if I cried, everyone else would know before I even tell them, so I just kept it to myself. I was confused though, I mean, I was 14,I could not understand how I could possibly have HIV. “I have not necessarily been discriminated against. I can say that I was discriminating against my own self, from around 14 until I was 18, because I didn’t want to talk about it. Only my family knew; no-one else. Once I reached 18 I decided to start disclosing. It’s been better and wiser. “Where I come from [Itsoseng, a small town in South Africa’s North West Province], I’m the first person to ever come forward and talk openly this way about my status. “But the response and the support is there because whether it’s me or someone else, the reality is that people are living with HIV, whether we talk about it or not.” “

Viral tweet that got people’s attention all over the world

I feel happy at the fact that people saw that tweet and they were interacting, meaning we were talking about a subject that is deemed “unspoken”, so I was happy. I’ve always disclosed my status. I started disclosing it when I was 18. I usually use Facebook to talk to people about HIV and Aids,” she says. “But I’ve been having this urgent feeling to post it on Twitter, so it wouldn’t be just limited to my Facebook friends. I needed the world to get into conversations about this virus.”

Love life

“I’m in a relationship currently. It’s very amazing because usually I disclose right at the beginning of the relationship. “So once the person decides that they want to stay with me then it’s all good, but if they decide to leave, it’s still fine.

“I won’t hate them because people still have their own issues regarding HIV. I don’t really blame the person who says: ‘No I can’t stay with you because you’re HIV-positive’. I’ve had someone say that to me in the past. It hurt a lot. But after a while they came back and apologised. We’re on speaking terms now, it’s fine. I’ve forgiven them.”

What Inspires Me

I am inspired by my courage to live despite everything bad that comes my way, my fighting spirit.

Turning my Predicament to Passion

I knew that pity was only gonna kill me. I wanted to speak up for my parents as well, because I feel like had they been more accepting, they probably would still be here.

Scared of death?

Yes, I have been through stages where I genuinely thought I was going to die at some point, as I stated in that tweet,  never expected to even see my 18th birthday.

Staying healthy

“I’m really not a person who is more conscious about what I eat, but I make sure that I take my pills at the right time every night. I don’t skip them.

Connecting with other “HIVictors”

Currently, I just connect to most people through social media, it has been a great help in me getting my story across. Having people tell me that I gave them a new meaning to life, that my story encouraged them not to give up, especially my fellow HIVictors, is a reward for me.

HIVictors who inspire me

I love Criselda Dudumashe, I also love my big sister and mentor Lebogang Brenda Motsumi. They give me all the hope in the world.

My strength and fighting spirit makes me a Woman of Rubies

The fact that I don’t let my conditions define me. That I fight for healing and once I have healed,I fight to heal everyone else in the similar situation.

Message to women living with HIV

I need for them to understand that the past can never be changed, but we can control our futures… we are not victims, we are HIVictors.

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AKUDO ABENOGWE-ADEBAYO: ON CRUMBLING MARRIAGES…DON’T LIVE A LIE

Marriages are falling apart and that is no news. What is news is the way and manner at which the institution is breaking. Our forefathers clearly understood the purposes of marriage and placed optimum values on the marriage institution. These days, however, people have little or no respect for marriages.

I think people are more in love with the idea of getting married than the married life itself, and I stand to be corrected. Do you know the level of planning, excitement etc that women especially put into their wedding? The hair must be right, the makeup great, the outfits perfect, the venue wonderful, the food and drinks amazing, the music and entertainment outstanding. In fact, everything must be perfect. However, little or no plan is put into the marriage on how to face the expected challenges that comes with it. What often happens is that after the glitz of the ceremony, the day breaks and the challenges comes, you see the couple falter and give up even without trying.

Truth is, marriage is as hard as life. Life is hard, but you see us trying to survive and conquer all odds to be successful in life. But we hardly make such efforts to survive our marriages and conquer all odds to be successful at it. We give up and use every available excuses to defend ourselves. I will try to analyse the various angles to the recent breakup of the marriages of Tonto Dikeh and Ubi Franklyn, the best way I can, bearing in mind that there are three sides to a story, your side, my side and the truth.

Ubi Franklyn fell out with his acclaimed girlfriend Emma Nyra and went public with gory details about her, painting her black and him white. In the same process, he got engaged to Lilian Esoro and they went ahead and got married. Lilian Esoro was matured enough not to speak about Ubi and Emma Nyra’s controversy, but she married him because they were in love right? After their grand wedding, Lilian and Ubi would put up happy pictures and cryptic words showing them living their lives on social media. Meanwhile, there were were already cracks in the wall, and it finally happened few months after the birth of their son.
Lilian walked out of the marriage citing almost the same issues that Emma Nyra claimed she went through in her relationship with Ubi.
My question is, why make so much effort to show a façade on social media when it’s not the reality of that marriage?

Now, Tonto Dikeh got married to Olakunle Churchhill in a secret wedding that shocked everyone. While I gave kudos to her for managing to keep her relationship out of the public until they wedded, I was mostly impressed that she seemed to have turned a new leaf. What with all the inspirational and almost spiritual messages she would often post on her wall, her fans were ecstatic for her. I got a bit worried when she would post every little thing about her marriage on social media. She would write epistles on special occasions and eulogise her husband, calling him all sorts of nomenclatures and praising God for giving her such a loving husband. I felt that all was not well, and that it was a desperate attempt to cover up something and create a different picture from reality.

And suddenly the cookie crumbled, now Tonto is singing a different song. There has been accusations and counter accusations from both parties, the husband whom Tonto used to paint as a demi-god has now become the devil himself. The most funny of them all is Tonto’s recent claims that she lied on social media to paint her husband in a good light. That is absurd because we didn’t ask you if your husband was a saint or not, we didn’t even need to know if he was the perfect husband or not period!

A lot of responsibility of the marriage is placed on women, especially christians. This is because we are homemakers, we are builders, we are shapers. Remember that the Holy book says ‘whoever finds a wife finds a good thing’. It didn’t say a woman will find a husband. It is the man that will find a wife, and she will be a good thing to him.

Make no mistake ladies, we have roles to play in our men’s lives. We have the power and ability to build, shape and make our homes into what we want it to be. We shouldn’t give up on them just because there are issues, rather we should help them get the help they need as the case may be and if that doesn’t work we would know we tried our best.
Don’t waste so much energy displaying perfection on social media, and to the world… instead of building your home. It should be the other way round. Ask God for the ability to forgive all wrongs, conquer every challenge and survive the odds in marriage. Don’t live a lie; if your spouse sees your effort in making the marriage work, he/she will join you and you will both make sacrifices for the good of the home.

My 2 cents, see you next week.

Akudo Abengowe-Adebayo is a multiple award winner, with over 8 years in the media industry. She also hosts (Love Moments With Akudo) and is CEO of SATT Media, a content and media marketing company. She blogs at Akudosworld.
She is married with two adorable kids and loves Jesus with all her being. She is a TV addict, loves dancing and traveling, and a lil gossip now and then. Follow her on twitter@akudoabengowe or instagram@akuabengo

http://akudosworld.blogspot.com.ng/

About Akudo Abengowe-Adebayo

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