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Women of Rubies

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self development

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One of academias most intractable problems is gender distribution and representation.

The number of accomplished women though appreciably increasing in recent year is a barb, compared to their male counterparts.

Even in religious circles, restrictions are enforced on the extent to which a woman ‘owns’ the space.

And the list is endless…

This discovery is not new, I am only jostled by recent research outcome on women participation in seminars.

Findings reveal that women ask the least questions.

This makes me wonder and think about the struggle against patriarchy.

A seminar is a for-all kind of participation except if there are specific dictates against it. Particularly in the academia where participants are not only learned, but also usually have strong arguments and opinions on issues.

I am forced to think, that as much as we favor patriarchy in discourses of gender relations and participation in various fields, perhaps, there is an innate disposition of a woman, to be less confrontational.

This line of thoughts amongst other more acclaimed arguments bordering on physical attributes, emotional relations etc sits to juxtapose all reasoning of gender equality.

As research evolves, new line of thoughts are provoked. Maybe the fight to adopt in this present time is the one for human rights.

Gender equality in all its complexities continues to unveil limitless dimensions.

While you are sweating it, trying to convince the unlettered, perhaps, your argument would hold more water if there’s a human right slant to it.

Back in the days when our women were stewards of strict morals and child bearing was a feat restricted for celebration by married women but to our new and civilized era when we celebrate immorality over morality and nonsense over sense, the divine institution of marriage is not regarded and childbirth is now for every Jane,Chioma and Amina with or without the Mrs title.
Childbearing outside wedlock now has a title called BABYMAMA and it comes with a paycheck and other dividends hence the reason why there is a rise in the number of single women who willingly and proudly accepts this title.
Who knows what goes on in the mind of a babymama?
Is it regrets or joy? Is it hope or despair? Is it satisfaction or yearnings untold? Is it another baby drama or a happily ever after marriage? Who knows but whatever goes on in their minds, I want our babymamas to know that your child’s interest should be paramount not your greed for money or a car. Everything does not have to be YOU alone but that baby that you decided to birth with or without counting the cost.
Save these babies the dramas attached to them, they are innocent and should not be made to pay a dear prize for a path you choose to tow. If there are issues arising before or after pregnancy, solve it without including your baby or don’t you know years from now kids or spouses will use the internet to do a background check on that child. Do you want him or her to grow with low self-esteem? Or probably see you as a failed mother?
Make right choices worthy of the calling to motherhood, spend wisely, get a good means of survival (biz,skill or a job), learn from your wrongs and avoid making the mistake over again AND give your child a good moral training.
Thanks for not choosing the abortion option.
You’re loved expressly,
With Love,
Bolanle.

Dancer Kaffy has taken to her Instagram page to encourage everyone and anyone battling depression.

She revealed that she has battled depression and she won.

She wrote:

Please DO NOT BE PRESSURED . A lot is a lie . A lot is a manifestation of what they want to be . A lot is from insecurities.A lot is from depression not all smiley faces are happy faces.
Depression is real too many lives lost .
I faced depression I battled it and I won . You can win . First thing to do is not to let people define your happiness. We all have our races ,our paths are different ,first to do no mean last man standing o. If anyone run past u ,do better than you or have anything u want and don’t have , just wave and say “I will catch up” see ya later”. Your process is important don’t be in a hurry if u do you would lose the ammunition, the instruments u need to sustain the greatness and happiness you pursue.
#kaffynodeylookyatime#kaffygoneedyadime

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Please DO NOT BE PRESSURED . A lot is a lie . A lot is a manifestation of what they want to be . A lot is from insecurities.A lot is from depression not all smiley faces are happy faces. Depression is real too many lives lost . I faced depression I battled it and I won . You can win . First thing to do is not to let people define your happiness. We all have our races ,our paths are different ,first to do no mean last man standing o. If anyone run past u ,do better than you or have anything u want and don’t have , just wave and say “I will catch up” see ya later”. Your process is important don’t be in a hurry if u do you would lose the ammunition, the instruments u need to sustain the greatness and happiness you pursue. #kaffynodeylookyatime #kaffygoneedyadime

A post shared by Kafayat Shafau-Ameh (@kaffydance) on 

A woman who was doused in acid by her father when she was just two-months-old has shared an inspiring new year message.

Anmol Rodrigous was curled up in her mother’s lap when her father poured a can of acid on them, killing her mother, and disfiguring newlyborn Anmol.

At 23, Anmol now runs her own survivor foundation. She has not only overcome the physical and emotional pain but has also become an inspiration to many women like her.

 

Woman doused in acid by her dad because he wanted a son shares inspiring new year message

 

Anmol, which means priceless in Hindi, claims to be the happiest girl in the world. She lives alone in Mumbai, India, where she arranges funds for her ongoing reconstructive surgeries and runs an NGO Acid Survivor Sahas Foundation, through which she has helped 20 such women getting employment and organised a lavish wedding for a friend.

Anmol says:

I love my life as it is. Not even once have I felt that I am different. This could also be because I only remember seeing myself with one eye and wrinkled, burnt skin.

I have very happily accepted myself and this has given me hopes and confidence to keep moving in life.

My whole life was spent at an orphanage in Mumbai. I am told that I was only two months old when my father had attacked my mother and myself with acid.

 

She left the orphanage 2 years ago when she finished from college. She now makes £117 a month from giving her ideas to make creative sets for the shows and saves some of her money for her NGO.

Anmol gets in touch with women leaders and politicians to arrange work opportunities for girls like her.

 

Woman doused in acid by her dad because he wanted a son shares inspiring new year message

 

The young girl says she loves to dress up and wishes to become a model. She has already been offered model assignments by two designers to promote their jewellery on Instagram.

Sharing an inspiring message for others in her condition, she said:

 

I want to become the first commercial acid attack survivor model who can not just promote fashion but also spread awareness that acid does not end life.

This is really exciting and I am soon going to get the opportunity what I have been longing for.

I hope my stint will inspire women like me to not cover their face in a veil, instead walk confidently with their face.

Acid can only change our face but not ruin our soul. We are same inside out and we should accept ourselves who we are and live our lives happily.

 

Credit: LIB

As women we thrive on strong expressive emotions with our dolls as little girls then to girlfriends and our lives are intertwined with so much to share, cry and laugh about be it problems, thoughts, feelings, and triumphs.
I grew up with girls that helped me find a voice with my little notes, I was so unintelligent when mathematics and calculations comes to play and because my school gives priority to science whiz students I had to go down and be a dullard in everyone’s eyes but my then friends made it a point of duty to stick my scribblings on the school notice board to make me feel good and confident and till date mostof my emotional and mental strength comes from deep bonds with the strong females in my life.
Over time, we become our friends as we mirror their thoughts, beliefs, and ideas and so far friendship has rocked my boat and many boats too,be it female friendship or with the guys.
But as the female gender seeks to hold her place of safety, respect and relevance, we have seen and read about strife,envy and unhealthy competition as major ingredients of the female friendship.
Note: I believe in competition, a healthy dose of win and let’s win with everyone cheering and celebrating everyone’s win.

As much as I value human resource, I have come to learn and still learning how to fix some friends in their places,some are just for the party rider, some for the career ride while few makes it to the real life issues and solution section but we tend to want everyone together till death do us part and gets heart broken when they misbehave or can’t meet up with expectations. It isn’t anyone’s fault but no one can do and be beyond her strength. 

 
Also, knowing when to let go of some friendship is key. People will play their part and have to leave when their time is over but the mushiness of the female heart won’t let be till the signs are tired of blinking and everything goes sour and messy. 
 
I am not asking you to let go of all your friends because I thrive on good and Godly friendships but I hope we get over assuming and mere talks of friendship to real communication. Don’t assume anyone is spiting you or envious of you, put your assumption to words, in a peaceful and logical way please then let fate sort the rest.
 
If you have good friends, always take time out to celebrate them and water your friendship, reduce third or tenth party influence as some don’t want good friendships but are on a mission to ruin any good friendship. Be a better friend, don’t be about all round receiving without giving, you might be the problem of your friends by draining them and their frustration is what you see as a problem.
 
For good people with odd friends,my prayers are with you and I hope you won’t give up doing good but reduce the toxic people around you before you gets contaminated.
 
We will achieve more as women if we stand, celebrate, build, empower and love without bias.
 
Be a good friend, forgive daily and let’s build the world with amazing love for the girls yet unborn.
 
Cheers to friendships and achievements of the New year.

Whenever I ask clients if they write often or journal, most times I get a ”not really” or ”sometimes, but I’m not consistent”.

While I understand the not consistent bit, I’m a bit worried about the ”not really” people.

Do you know why?

I’ll tell you.

We, humans, have a short attention and memory span.

What that means is if you don’t document your life experiences often and as a habit, you will lose a lot of juicy stories that could help you further in your influential storytelling journey.

When you think of stories to share with your audience, you should be more concerned with curating what you’ve already written than creating a new story.

Well, except if that new story just happened recently.

Even if, you still need to document that story for future reference.

Influential storytelling isn’t magic.

Neither is it hard.

Great storytelling is a product of good documentation and great telling.

 

About Esohe

Esohe Igbinoba is the Founder, The Global Brand Network. GBN is a brand management organization with a focus on teaching entrepreneurs the art of influential storytelling for attracting visibility and building an engaged audience so they can build profitable businesses. She helps them to achieve this through her unique system: The Influential Storytelling Formula. She has helped over 150 people in 10 countries. She helps them through her online school, GBN Business School where she offers one on one coaching programs, online courses and training programs.

You can connect with her on

Social media @queenesohe

Or send an email to esohe@queenesohe.com

Or on her website queenesohe.com

Do you often realize that you look older than your age, when comparing yourself with other people? Do you believe that genetics is blame? Indeed, it is useless to declare war. But to compete for the youth and beauty of your skin is possible. For this purpose, first of all, you should reconsider your diet.
Remember you are what you eat. All problems of the body, the face shows like a mirror.

Take care of your health from the inside and the outer result will surprise in a few weeks. Discover 6 foods that should definitely be in your diet.

Eggs

Eggs enrich our diet with vitamins A and selenium. Selenium is a valuable trace mineral which is required for skin beauty. Eggs help to cope with acne, don’t allow show age spots, protects against age-related changes in fighting free radicals. Thanks to selenium, the skin becomes fresh and elastic.
To preserve the attractiveness and youthfulness of your skin, try egg dishes present in the diet at least a few times a week.

Beans

Serving of the beans must be in the daily menu, if you suffer from acne. The nutrients will help to get rid of age spots, reduce the risk of scarring. The main positive effect of bean spreads for the digestion — it stimulates the growth of beneficial bacteria in the intestine and excretes excess cholesterol. Beans effectively stimulates many digestive processes, efficiently removes toxins and wastes. Be sure to clean your stomach and you will see the result on the skin.

Avocado

Oleic acid, and the avocado very much, improves skin regeneration, and is especially suitable in middle and old age. There are a lot of b vitamins and fiber. And most importantly — avocado helps to slow down the activity of the enzyme, which results in aging skin, collagen fibers begin to deform and wrinkle.

Carrots

It is known that carrots contain lots of beta-carotene, an antioxidant responsible for the renewal of skin cells. In fact, many cosmetologists recommend using a cream with the retinol, and it is nothing like a well-known vitamin A, which is formed in the body from carotene.
And beta-carotene is one of the most natural tanning activators, since it contributes to the production of melanin. So do you want a nice tan and healthy skin? Eat carrots with vegetable oil or sour cream (the assimilation of vitamin A needs fat).

Mpoomy Ledwaba was young and broke when she planned her own business after deciding to drop out of college. She has no money, no experience, and the people around her did not believe in her. Amidst all the challenges, she fought for her dreams and finally opened Aneno Nail & Coffee Bar which has always been jampacked with women since its launching.

At age 12, Mpoomy started working for her dad. At 16-years old, she worked at a restaurant while doing promotions throughout varsity. She was 21-years old when she landed her first corporate job as a banker at Investec. By then, she was also a second-year student of Accountancy at the University of Johannesburg in South Africa.

Initially, Mpoomy thought she’d love accounting because she was good at it and it felt like a natural move. But as time goes by, she realized it was unfulfilling for her. So first, she quit her job. Second, she left the university in the middle of her finance exam and never went back.

“I didn’t diagnose it as depression but now because I understand what depression is, I know it could have been that,” she told Forbes Africa.

It was a brave move for a young woman who did not have any money nor experience. What makes it worse is that her parents were not impressed by her decision, too. Her father refused to send her money anymore and her mother also declined when she tried to borrow money to do a nail course.

“I spent my days crying and praying. It was a tough time. I knew I had made the right decision but everyone and everything around me tried to break me,” Mpoomy said.

Eventually, Mpoomy found a job at a modeling agency doing a billboard and TV advert where she was paid R22,000, or over $1,550 USD. She invested her earnings in a cleaning business, inspired by her father’s cleaning company. For a year, it boomed but she got swamped up by orders that it became overly demanding for her. She then learned that “you can’t start a business in something you don’t know or you are not passionate about.”

Brenden Praise Ledwaba, South African Idols finalist and recording artist, who is then her boyfriend and now husband, was the one who was there with her and supported her no matter what. After their marriage, which didn’t come cheap, Brenden gave her money to go to nail school. It wasn’t easy for them as newlyweds; they had financial problems along the way, but they still made it.

By the time Mpoomy finished her studies and was ready to get a working experience, no one hired her. But she found a way by herself and she created a mobile salon that turned out successfully. Finally, with the help of a mentor, she opened Aneno Nail & Coffee Bar a year ago.

Today, Mpoomy has a team of five people in her own nail salon based in Melville, Johannesburg. Some of her first customers were friends and family but now African celebrities such as Mapaseka Koetle-Nyokong, Mmatema Moremi, Jessica Nkosi, and Thickleeyonce are her frequent clients.

In the near future, the ever-enthusiastic businesswoman sees Aneno having franchises all over South Africa and being a household brand. After all, she believes that “God is the one who makes things happen.”

2019 is the year to get serious with your personal finance and stop making good financial decisions if you really want to become financially independent.

Making money and spending it anyhow has never helped anyone. Instead, it’ll only leave you to be financially stagnant.

To have a good relationship with your money in 2019, here are five money mistakes you must seriously avoid.

1. Living beyond your means

Living beyond your means only leaves you financially stagnant.

.

Living beyond your means while the little finance you have is going down the drain is really a drastic financial mistake you must avoid in the new year.

If you keep living an expensive lifestyle you cannot maintain, you end up trying to borrow money from people to keep up with that lifestyle. This only leaves you in serious debt and incurring debt is bad for your finances because your focus would be on paying your debt instead of focusing on your financial goals.

2. Not having an emergency fund

If you have never introduced the emergency funds to your financial practices, 2019 is the right time for you to start. You won’t like to go through financial issues that’ll leave you broke again. To avoid that experience, you need to start saving for unplanned and unexpected issues now.

3. Over-subscriptions

Every month you pay for data, newspaper, magazine, cable/satellite TV subscriptions and you wonder why you didn’t save enough in 2018. Do you know how much all that cost you? You may need to cut down on your monthly subscriptions or avoid it completely if you don’t really need it.

4. Not saving for retirement early

Save money

Save money

One of the worst financial mistakes is not saving and planning for retirement early in life. You might think planning and saving for retirement early is a waste of time because you have other financial obligations to meet but you might regret your decision in the future.

5. Waiting to invest 

You failed to invest in 2018 because you think investments require a huge amount of money. That’s a lie. Do not wait to have a large chunk of money before you start using your money in a way that makes it work for you.

The best time to start investing is now. No matter how small your income, you should set some money aside for the sole aim of investing. It’s 2019, you need to start makings plans on how to grow your money.

 

 

Culled from pulse.ng

Credit: Bayo Wahab

OAP Toolz Oniru-Demuren’s husband, Captain Tunde Demuren has revealed that Toolz sacrificed her job, business, and home just to make sure she had a safe delivery of their child.

The pilot made this known via his Instagram page on Monday, December 31, 2018, while thanking God for the safe arrival of their baby.

“Mark 11: 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe it, and it will be yours. This time last year I prayed and asked for a healthy baby. God showed He is God. The I AM THAT I AM. Able God. THE ALPHA et OMEGA and blessed us in His time. My prayer is that this 2019, my God will answer all your prayers. Have faith. Work at it and believe. God will show Himself. Just remember to be thankful. 

“I need to add, @toolzo did great… left her career, left her business, left her home to make sure the Child was good all thru. I Pray for all our support systems, family, friends, and everyone that remembered us for good, may My God meet you at your point of need and overwhelm you with blessings. In Jesus name. Happy New Year. May 2019 be the best year ever,” he wrote.

It would be recalled that the celebrity couple welcomed their first child a few days before the new year far away in the United Kingdom.