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Women of Rubies

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self development

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As women we thrive on strong expressive emotions with our dolls as little girls then to girlfriends and our lives are intertwined with so much to share, cry and laugh about be it problems, thoughts, feelings, and triumphs.
I grew up with girls that helped me find a voice with my little notes, I was so unintelligent when mathematics and calculations comes to play and because my school gives priority to science whiz students I had to go down and be a dullard in everyone’s eyes but my then friends made it a point of duty to stick my scribblings on the school notice board to make me feel good and confident and till date mostof my emotional and mental strength comes from deep bonds with the strong females in my life.
Over time, we become our friends as we mirror their thoughts, beliefs, and ideas and so far friendship has rocked my boat and many boats too,be it female friendship or with the guys.
But as the female gender seeks to hold her place of safety, respect and relevance, we have seen and read about strife,envy and unhealthy competition as major ingredients of the female friendship.
Note: I believe in competition, a healthy dose of win and let’s win with everyone cheering and celebrating everyone’s win.

As much as I value human resource, I have come to learn and still learning how to fix some friends in their places,some are just for the party rider, some for the career ride while few makes it to the real life issues and solution section but we tend to want everyone together till death do us part and gets heart broken when they misbehave or can’t meet up with expectations. It isn’t anyone’s fault but no one can do and be beyond her strength. 

 
Also, knowing when to let go of some friendship is key. People will play their part and have to leave when their time is over but the mushiness of the female heart won’t let be till the signs are tired of blinking and everything goes sour and messy. 
 
I am not asking you to let go of all your friends because I thrive on good and Godly friendships but I hope we get over assuming and mere talks of friendship to real communication. Don’t assume anyone is spiting you or envious of you, put your assumption to words, in a peaceful and logical way please then let fate sort the rest.
 
If you have good friends, always take time out to celebrate them and water your friendship, reduce third or tenth party influence as some don’t want good friendships but are on a mission to ruin any good friendship. Be a better friend, don’t be about all round receiving without giving, you might be the problem of your friends by draining them and their frustration is what you see as a problem.
 
For good people with odd friends,my prayers are with you and I hope you won’t give up doing good but reduce the toxic people around you before you gets contaminated.
 
We will achieve more as women if we stand, celebrate, build, empower and love without bias.
 
Be a good friend, forgive daily and let’s build the world with amazing love for the girls yet unborn.
 
Cheers to friendships and achievements of the New year.

Whenever I ask clients if they write often or journal, most times I get a ”not really” or ”sometimes, but I’m not consistent”.

While I understand the not consistent bit, I’m a bit worried about the ”not really” people.

Do you know why?

I’ll tell you.

We, humans, have a short attention and memory span.

What that means is if you don’t document your life experiences often and as a habit, you will lose a lot of juicy stories that could help you further in your influential storytelling journey.

When you think of stories to share with your audience, you should be more concerned with curating what you’ve already written than creating a new story.

Well, except if that new story just happened recently.

Even if, you still need to document that story for future reference.

Influential storytelling isn’t magic.

Neither is it hard.

Great storytelling is a product of good documentation and great telling.

 

About Esohe

Esohe Igbinoba is the Founder, The Global Brand Network. GBN is a brand management organization with a focus on teaching entrepreneurs the art of influential storytelling for attracting visibility and building an engaged audience so they can build profitable businesses. She helps them to achieve this through her unique system: The Influential Storytelling Formula. She has helped over 150 people in 10 countries. She helps them through her online school, GBN Business School where she offers one on one coaching programs, online courses and training programs.

You can connect with her on

Social media @queenesohe

Or send an email to esohe@queenesohe.com

Or on her website queenesohe.com

Do you often realize that you look older than your age, when comparing yourself with other people? Do you believe that genetics is blame? Indeed, it is useless to declare war. But to compete for the youth and beauty of your skin is possible. For this purpose, first of all, you should reconsider your diet.
Remember you are what you eat. All problems of the body, the face shows like a mirror.

Take care of your health from the inside and the outer result will surprise in a few weeks. Discover 6 foods that should definitely be in your diet.

Eggs

Eggs enrich our diet with vitamins A and selenium. Selenium is a valuable trace mineral which is required for skin beauty. Eggs help to cope with acne, don’t allow show age spots, protects against age-related changes in fighting free radicals. Thanks to selenium, the skin becomes fresh and elastic.
To preserve the attractiveness and youthfulness of your skin, try egg dishes present in the diet at least a few times a week.

Beans

Serving of the beans must be in the daily menu, if you suffer from acne. The nutrients will help to get rid of age spots, reduce the risk of scarring. The main positive effect of bean spreads for the digestion — it stimulates the growth of beneficial bacteria in the intestine and excretes excess cholesterol. Beans effectively stimulates many digestive processes, efficiently removes toxins and wastes. Be sure to clean your stomach and you will see the result on the skin.

Avocado

Oleic acid, and the avocado very much, improves skin regeneration, and is especially suitable in middle and old age. There are a lot of b vitamins and fiber. And most importantly — avocado helps to slow down the activity of the enzyme, which results in aging skin, collagen fibers begin to deform and wrinkle.

Carrots

It is known that carrots contain lots of beta-carotene, an antioxidant responsible for the renewal of skin cells. In fact, many cosmetologists recommend using a cream with the retinol, and it is nothing like a well-known vitamin A, which is formed in the body from carotene.
And beta-carotene is one of the most natural tanning activators, since it contributes to the production of melanin. So do you want a nice tan and healthy skin? Eat carrots with vegetable oil or sour cream (the assimilation of vitamin A needs fat).

Mpoomy Ledwaba was young and broke when she planned her own business after deciding to drop out of college. She has no money, no experience, and the people around her did not believe in her. Amidst all the challenges, she fought for her dreams and finally opened Aneno Nail & Coffee Bar which has always been jampacked with women since its launching.

At age 12, Mpoomy started working for her dad. At 16-years old, she worked at a restaurant while doing promotions throughout varsity. She was 21-years old when she landed her first corporate job as a banker at Investec. By then, she was also a second-year student of Accountancy at the University of Johannesburg in South Africa.

Initially, Mpoomy thought she’d love accounting because she was good at it and it felt like a natural move. But as time goes by, she realized it was unfulfilling for her. So first, she quit her job. Second, she left the university in the middle of her finance exam and never went back.

“I didn’t diagnose it as depression but now because I understand what depression is, I know it could have been that,” she told Forbes Africa.

It was a brave move for a young woman who did not have any money nor experience. What makes it worse is that her parents were not impressed by her decision, too. Her father refused to send her money anymore and her mother also declined when she tried to borrow money to do a nail course.

“I spent my days crying and praying. It was a tough time. I knew I had made the right decision but everyone and everything around me tried to break me,” Mpoomy said.

Eventually, Mpoomy found a job at a modeling agency doing a billboard and TV advert where she was paid R22,000, or over $1,550 USD. She invested her earnings in a cleaning business, inspired by her father’s cleaning company. For a year, it boomed but she got swamped up by orders that it became overly demanding for her. She then learned that “you can’t start a business in something you don’t know or you are not passionate about.”

Brenden Praise Ledwaba, South African Idols finalist and recording artist, who is then her boyfriend and now husband, was the one who was there with her and supported her no matter what. After their marriage, which didn’t come cheap, Brenden gave her money to go to nail school. It wasn’t easy for them as newlyweds; they had financial problems along the way, but they still made it.

By the time Mpoomy finished her studies and was ready to get a working experience, no one hired her. But she found a way by herself and she created a mobile salon that turned out successfully. Finally, with the help of a mentor, she opened Aneno Nail & Coffee Bar a year ago.

Today, Mpoomy has a team of five people in her own nail salon based in Melville, Johannesburg. Some of her first customers were friends and family but now African celebrities such as Mapaseka Koetle-Nyokong, Mmatema Moremi, Jessica Nkosi, and Thickleeyonce are her frequent clients.

In the near future, the ever-enthusiastic businesswoman sees Aneno having franchises all over South Africa and being a household brand. After all, she believes that “God is the one who makes things happen.”

2019 is the year to get serious with your personal finance and stop making good financial decisions if you really want to become financially independent.

Making money and spending it anyhow has never helped anyone. Instead, it’ll only leave you to be financially stagnant.

To have a good relationship with your money in 2019, here are five money mistakes you must seriously avoid.

1. Living beyond your means

Living beyond your means only leaves you financially stagnant.

.

Living beyond your means while the little finance you have is going down the drain is really a drastic financial mistake you must avoid in the new year.

If you keep living an expensive lifestyle you cannot maintain, you end up trying to borrow money from people to keep up with that lifestyle. This only leaves you in serious debt and incurring debt is bad for your finances because your focus would be on paying your debt instead of focusing on your financial goals.

2. Not having an emergency fund

If you have never introduced the emergency funds to your financial practices, 2019 is the right time for you to start. You won’t like to go through financial issues that’ll leave you broke again. To avoid that experience, you need to start saving for unplanned and unexpected issues now.

3. Over-subscriptions

Every month you pay for data, newspaper, magazine, cable/satellite TV subscriptions and you wonder why you didn’t save enough in 2018. Do you know how much all that cost you? You may need to cut down on your monthly subscriptions or avoid it completely if you don’t really need it.

4. Not saving for retirement early

Save money

Save money

One of the worst financial mistakes is not saving and planning for retirement early in life. You might think planning and saving for retirement early is a waste of time because you have other financial obligations to meet but you might regret your decision in the future.

5. Waiting to invest 

You failed to invest in 2018 because you think investments require a huge amount of money. That’s a lie. Do not wait to have a large chunk of money before you start using your money in a way that makes it work for you.

The best time to start investing is now. No matter how small your income, you should set some money aside for the sole aim of investing. It’s 2019, you need to start makings plans on how to grow your money.

 

 

Culled from pulse.ng

Credit: Bayo Wahab

OAP Toolz Oniru-Demuren’s husband, Captain Tunde Demuren has revealed that Toolz sacrificed her job, business, and home just to make sure she had a safe delivery of their child.

The pilot made this known via his Instagram page on Monday, December 31, 2018, while thanking God for the safe arrival of their baby.

“Mark 11: 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe it, and it will be yours. This time last year I prayed and asked for a healthy baby. God showed He is God. The I AM THAT I AM. Able God. THE ALPHA et OMEGA and blessed us in His time. My prayer is that this 2019, my God will answer all your prayers. Have faith. Work at it and believe. God will show Himself. Just remember to be thankful. 

“I need to add, @toolzo did great… left her career, left her business, left her home to make sure the Child was good all thru. I Pray for all our support systems, family, friends, and everyone that remembered us for good, may My God meet you at your point of need and overwhelm you with blessings. In Jesus name. Happy New Year. May 2019 be the best year ever,” he wrote.

It would be recalled that the celebrity couple welcomed their first child a few days before the new year far away in the United Kingdom.

You call it a habit, they call it an addiction. There seems to be a fine line that separates the two. Knowing the difference between habits, compulsions, and addictions can help you in making much-needed changes in your life.

Here are 4 strange addictions that you often mistake for habits:

Checking your Phone

Cell phone addiction is getting worse.

So many people are addicted to technology. It is common to see a family of four sitting at a table in a restaurant and all four of them looking at their own technological device. Technology is slowly taking away the “social” out of “social events”. Facebook has taken technology addiction to a whole new level. Technology addictions have become so prominent that researchers have created a Facebook addiction scale.

It is time we, as a society, start learning how to limit our time with technology and especially our time on websites such as Facebook. It is like one big webpage full of gossip, which happens to be another addiction a person can have.

READ ALSO : MEET FATOUMATA BA, THE 29YR OLD WOMAN WHO FOUNDED JUMIA.COM

Seeking attention

Some researchers call attention seeking addiction narcissism or attention validation addiction. There are different types of attention seekers: the sufferer, the saviour, the rescuer, organizer, manipulator, mind-poisoner, drama queen, busy bee, false confessor, abused, online victim, victim,

All of these kinds of attention seekers are a real drag to be around. But it is like they can’t help themselves. They can’t stop making themselves the center of attention no matter how many times they been talked to or coached.

On some level, their behavior gives them a sense of pleasure and they have gotten a response from others that made them feel good. I know, it sounds weird; a negative behavior gives them a positive feeling.

But that’s very similar to using drugs or alcohol, right? So they continue to seek attention in negative ways, and they don’t understand why they can’t keep friends for a long period of time.

Watching TV and playing video games

Television and video games seem harmless. In fact, most people see television and gaming systems as relaxing things to do at the end of a long day.

But, there is a downside to watching too much television and playing video games for a long period of time, you can even become addicted to it. This happens because you create a habit that revolves around television and video games and those habits can turn into addictions.

If so, you may want to make a few changes in your daily routine so that you can break addictive patterns.

Gossiping

There are many reasons we gossip. In a selfish way, gossip makes us feel better about ourselves, and at least, for a moment, it tells us we’re not the only ones on this planet with problems. It becomes an escape from our own reality. However, there is a dark side to gossiping.

Gossiping can become addictive for similar reasons we become addicted to other things. Gossip is associated with entertainment and pleasure, according to some research. This is not good since most gossip is negative.

 

 

Beautiful OAP Toolz and her husband, Tunde Demuren welcomed their first child together recently, a baby boy.

The on-air personality has confirmed the news with a heartwarming testimony:

‘For this child I have prayed and You heard my cry.

For this baby I had faith and You gave new life’… This time last year, I posted my most vulnerable and honest post to date after my miscarriage.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!! This time last year, I would often cry myself to sleep thinking about the baby we lost, but now I can’t sleep because I can’t stop staring at the most precious gift God has given me this year….MY SON.❤❤❤

I look at my little prince and I am in complete awe! I still can’t believe I’m a mummy.

I can’t wait to teach him everything I know and learn so much from him too.

I can’t wait to show him how much every inch of me loves him.

I also can’t wait to “Patience Ozokwor” his future girlfriends 😁😁 The biggest lesson I learnt this year is to NEVER…EVER GIVE UP ON GOD.

Since last year, we prayed, fasted and prayed some more for God to bless us with a healthy baby in 2018. Towards the end of the first quarter, I started to think that our prayers wouldn’t be answered in 2018. I stupidly got impatient and frustrated with God.

One day in April, Captain came home and found me in bed crying my eyes out because I thought we wouldn’t have a baby in 2018. Little did I know that as I was crying and getting upset and frustrated with God, I was actually already pregnant.

While I was being weak and doubting Him, He had already answered our prayers!

For our family, friends and every single one of you that remembered us in prayer….Thank you so very much. May God overwhelm you with incredible blessings this coming year.

For women dealing with the loss of a child like I did last year, know that the story doesn’t end there. God has already completed your testimony, and I pray that you (just like me) will be celebrating sooner rather than later.

For anyone waiting on God to answer their prayers, please remember that God’s delay isn’t His denial.

Thank you Heavenly Father for always showing that you’ve got me!

Lots of love and Happy Amazing 2019 from Toolz, Captain and Chairman 👶🏾 #GodsGotMe #TreeOfUs #Testimony#We2019Ready

Female presidential candidate Obiageli ‘Oby’ Ezekwesili has been revealed as KOKO magazine’s 2018 ‘Woman of the Year’.

According to the magazine’

Change is the only constant thing in life and with the advent of social media, our world as we know it is changing so fast. With varying challenges that we might be facing be it economic, political, social or environmental, we thankfully still have individuals particularly women leading, inspiring and championing hope for our generation. With that in mind, we as an organisation annually choose a ‘Woman of the Year’.

We begin the process with a mid-year meeting among all stakeholders and a tentative nomination list is drawn, the nominations are varied and the debates vigorous, never more so than in an era of amazing talents, achievements, excellence in diverse fields and women who have made a whole lot of positive change on the African continent. Our 2018 ‘Woman of the Year’ represents not only her trailblazing efforts but more importantly, embodies the hopes and achievements of millions of extraordinary women who make a difference every day across our nations and continent. KOKO’S 2018 Woman Of The Year is Transparency International’s activist-founder, convener of the#BringBackOurGirls campaign and Nigeria’s Presidential aspirant, Obiageli Ezekwesili. And ‘Oby’ Ezekwesili is the cover star of The KOKO Magazine (International) Special Edition.

The complex nature of our nation’s turbulent economy has impacted all Nigerians and leaves many feeling confused and anxious. The good news is that no matter how challenging things may be, the basic fundamentals of personal financial management still apply; stay focused on this.

Have you made your New Year Resolutions? Did you include any financial ones? All major life events such as getting married, having a baby, educating children, losing a job, getting divorced, buying a home, losing a loved one, planning for your retirement and your estate come with financial consequences that must be prepared for. Here are 12 resolutions to consider for 2019. Don’t try to tackle them all. Tackling just 3 or 4 will lead to significant improvement in your financial life.

Establish a budget
Living as though nothing has changed during challenging times can make a situation worse; changing your spending habits must be a priority. Budgeting is one of the most important tools for financial security. A good budget will help you to plan and monitor your expenses so you can identify where to cut back if necessary. Where does your money go? The traditional suspects are eating out every day, recharge cards etc. Can you cut back a little on these?

Build an emergency fund
An emergency fund is a must-have, particularly during times of financial challenge. Build a fund with at least six months’ worth of your expenses in an accessible, interest bearing account. If you are suddenly faced with unemployment, medical expenses, or other unexpected events, you will have this financial cushion to fall back on. If you can’t build 6 months, focus on 3 months. The key is to have something saved.

Automate your savings
Can you set aside a minimum of ten per cent of your monthly income for savings. One of the most effective ways to increase savings is to automate the process by having the funds deducted via a direct debit into a savings, money market or mutual fund account. If the funds are in an account attached to your debit card you may be tempted to dip into the funds.

Reduce your debt
Getting out of debt or at least reducing it is another key step to taking control of your finances. List all your debt, and prioritize by focusing on the debt with the highest interest rates first. Are you one of those people that avoid your lenders? Have you stopped taking their calls or ignore their reminders? You need friends and family as a lifeline when things are really bad, so if you damage relationships, it only comes back to haunt you. If your debt has become overwhelming, contact your creditors to discuss the possibility of coming up with more palatable repayment arrangements.

Invest for the future
If you have some savings and your debt is under control, consider investing in the stock market. It is important to remember that the stock market, over the long-term, has outperformed other asset classes. Many stocks are currently selling well below their true value. If you are fortunate enough to have cash for long term investing, this is a good time to seek professional advice to build a diversified portfolio. Remember that investing comes with risk; to mitigate this, you should diversify across the primary asset classes.

Improve your Health
A healthier lifestyle means fewer medical expenses. If you are healthy, you will have brighter prospects in all aspects of your life. Do you need to lose weight, eat more healthily, or exercise more regularly? Take your health seriously and take concrete steps to improve it. Make this a way of life for your family to ensure that your spouse and children are healthy.

Invest in yourself
There is something everyone of us can do to earn extra income and it is time to find out what that is. What can you do outside your full time job? If you are unemployed, this becomes even more urgent. Have you considered tutoring, consulting, blogging, photography? Identify and nurture your passion and talent and begin to leverage on it to earn in 2019.

Protect Yourself and your Assets with Insurance 
You are your greatest asset. Do you have adequate cover for your health and your life, particularly if you are the primary breadwinner? Are your properties including your car and home adequately insured? Things happen and you cannot afford to be careless with insurance. In addition, do keep up with routine maintenance of your assets so that you can identify festering problems before they require expensive repairs. The odd noise coming from your car engine should not be ignored. Attend to issues early.

Retirement 
Most Nigerians do not have enough money saved by the time they face retirement. Most of your retirement income will have to come from money you set aside and invest today whilst you are still young and earning. Do you have a Retirement Savings Account? Make this an important part of your long-term plans.

Put an Estate Plan in Place 
No one wants to think about death at the start of a new year, but you owe it to your family to put something in place should something untoward happen to you. Make an appointment with an estate-planning attorney who will put you through a relatively simple process. If you already have a will, review and update it to make sure you have included any new assets or beneficiaries.

Build Philanthropy into your Plans 
In spite of how difficult things might be for you, there are always people worse off. Philanthropy is a powerful and effective way to change lives. Determine your area of interest and identify ways in which you can make a positive impact.

It’s not all About Money 
It is important to note that the most fulfilling things in life have little to do with money. They have to do with relationships; with your partner, your spouse, your children, your siblings, your parents, your friends. Remember to count your blessings in 2019. Enjoy your Life and may God grant you good health, happiness, and peace this year and beyond. Happy New Year!

Register for Financial Resolutions in 2019 HERE

About Nimi Akinkugbe

Nimi Akinkugbe has extensive experience in private wealth management. She seeks to empower people regarding their finances and offers frank, practical insights to create a greater awareness and understanding of personal finance. You can reach Nimi via the following: Email; info@moneymatterswithnimi | Website: www.moneymatterswithnimi.com | Twitter: @MMWITHNIMI | Instagram: @MMWITHNIMI | Facebook: MoneyMatterswithNimi