A couple of days ago, Nollywood actress Ireti Doyle
celebrated her birthday.
Her husband and actor Patrick Doyle shared a long and important message for Ireti which he titled “An Ode to a Great Lady“.
In the message, he comes close to confirming rumors of a
dispute between the two of them. He admits that he has been in the “dog house”
and was recently released.
Patrick Doyle thanks Ireti for her compassion and he pledges
that there shall never be another “cock up”.
Read the full message below.
AN ODE TO A GREAT LADY
This is my tribute to a great Lady, my life has almost always revolved around strong women. The first strong woman in my life was the enigmatic Angela Bassey Doyle, who while still grieving as a young widow gave birth to me and stayed unmarried to nurture me. She stayed around as a strong pillar in my life till I was well in my 40’s before she passed away. Next was my aristocratic sister Ayodeji Omobolanle Alakija, the 2nd of two daughters of my great mother. She unfortunately passed on in her 40’s but in her life time was the very epitome of grace, and courage. She was not ” lucky in the love department ” as she was the victim of a loveless and fraudulent marriage, yet she carried on with the panache that only an Alakija is able to. My life would me incomplete without mentioning the mother of 3 of my sons, the very forthright Rosamond Emechete.
Who in spite of her fragile health gave me 3 very handsome sons and sadly passed on 7 months after the birth of our last son, Eyitemi. Shortly after the passing of Rosamond, God sent me an angel. Not only did this angel dry my tears, comfort my soul and lift my spirit at the lowest point in my life, but she showered my boys with the highest quality of care that I have ever seen a mother give her children. I have been young and now I am older, and I have never seen a woman more loving , caring and devoted than this lady. She not only ignored the taunting of “true friends ” who queried what she was doing with a “broke ass” like me. Frankly, if she was my sister , I would have asked her the same question.
Have I always justified or honored her courageous decision to stick with me through thick and thin? The answer is a big resounding NO. If any thing I have been most undeserving of the affection of this most uncommon woman. Have I taken her Love for granted? You bet I have, why? because like most men , I am prone to being a jerk. I can not count how many times she has had to pick up the slack when I have failed in my duties as a husband and father. She has with the greatest sense of responsibility been the rock of our family. Without a doubt she is the most generous woman I know, a dependable friend, a loyal ally and the most loving and sensual woman ever. Lately I had been less than worthy of her affection and was deservedly put in the proverbial “dog house”. As usual , she has with compassion taken me out of the “dog house” and reinstated all my rights and privileges as the Lord and Master of the home. I know that at the back of her mind , she’s mentally preparing for my next “cock up”. I hereby pledge that there shall never be another “cock up”. Her days of an undeserving and under performing partner are over. Her love and devotion over the years will never go unrewarded . My Angel has proven that a good woman can by her conduct ” convert an unbelieving husband”, that is not to say I am an unbelieving husband, maybe recalcitrant would better describe what I was. I am now a truly ” born again” husband. I now publicly proclaim that I am married to The Best Woman Alive. Now, I know that God truly loves me for sending me the ” Angel Of My Life” (apologies to Paul Play).
Monday the 21st of December will make it 15 years since this most classy lady uttered the words ” I DO” to me in the presence of God and Man. The last 15 years have been any thing but smooth, true the ride has been bumpy with My Angel bearing the brunt of the rough times, but by the Grace of God those days are over In Jesus Name. Isaiah 42 verse 9 says ” Behold the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: before they spring forth I tell you of them”. Heaven has spoken and so shall it be.
On behalf of my sons, my 2 beautiful daughters that My Angel gave me and indeed the entire Doyle, and Henshaw clan of County Wexford, Ireland and Liverpool, UK, as well as Warri and Calabar, Nigeria , we salute and honor this most illustrious daughter of Akure Land, this Moremi of our time, the one and only Anike Ade Oluwaninsola Iretiola Doyle on the occasion of her 15th wedding anniversary. Your Divine Labour Of Love Will Be Rewarded, Good Measure, Pressed Down and Running Over, In Jesus Name.
Kim Kardashian West has again helped secure the release of a black man who spent over 22-years in jail over a low level drug case.
Kardashian, who’s currently studying to become a criminal justice lawyer, became more involved with helping convicts after she was able to persuade US President Donald Trump to commute the sentence of Alice Marie Johnson, a first-time non-violent drug offender, months ago.
“We did it again! Had the best call w/this lovely family & my attorney @msbkb who just won release for their loved one Jeffrey in Miami – he served 22 years of life sentence for low level drug case. He served too much time but it gives me so much joy to fund this life saving work,” Kim wrote.
Back in March, three Nigerian authors — Oyinkan Braithwaite, Akwaeke Emezi and Diana Evans — made the longlist for the 2019 Women’s Prize for Fiction.
The longlist has finally been narrowed down, and the final shortlist includes Oyinkan Braithwaitefor My Sister, the Serial Killer and Diana Evansfor Ordinary People, making them the fifth and sixth Africans to be finalists for the prestigious prize.
Diana Evans and Oyinkan Braithwaite (Photo: The New York Times)
The previous Africans on the shortlist include Nigeria’s Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in 2004, 2007 and 2014; the Sierra Leonean-Scottish novelist, Aminatta Forna in 2011; the Ghanaian-Canadian writer, Esi Edugyan in 2012; and Nigeria’s Ayobami Adebayo in 2017.
With Evans and Braithwaite making the shortlist, this is the first time ever that more than one African has been named a finalist for the prize. Winning the Women’s Prize for Fiction is an incredible honour — one that comes with high regard and a £30,000 cash reward.
The winners will be announced on June 5.
Ordinary People and My Sister, The Serial Killer (Photo: Brittle Paper)
This is part 2 of a 3-part series so if you haven’t read part 1, you really should so you can get the flow of the series. But we all know you are just going to go ahead and keep reading this anyway…*side-eye* Don’t worry – we know “ourselves”.
Parenting isn’t easy, we are still trying to figure out how to be adults and suddenly we are supposed to raising entire individuals – no pressure huhn?
Dealing with all of this can be a lot and it is my personal experience that a lot of younger parents and even older parents are frustrated half the time. We need to find smarter ways to deal with all the pressure that accompanies life and not pass on that pressure to our kids.
You really should read part 1 of this Here, don’t say I didn’t try.
When it comes to raising kids, everyone seems to think they know how you can do it and they are very quick to tell you, whether you ask for their opinion or not.
The problem here is that a lot of this ‘advice’ is mostly methods and very little principles. Methods don’t work on each kid in the same way or even at all – so how does all of this leave you?
Yeah, I know the feeling – the first thing I said you could do in #part1 was ‘Hold your center’. The second thing you should know is big brother is always watching but he’s not who you think he is…
Be very aware that Big Brother is ALWAYS watching
I’ve got 2 kids, one of them is 5 and the other is 2. Recently, I noticed my 5-year-old yelling at my 2-year old “come here, pick up your toys, get down from the table – NOW”, complete with this huge scowl as he peered down at his sister. He was being a big brother and correcting her but what was scary was how he was doing it. He was doing it just like me, word for word, action for action.
He was using the exact same words I used on or at him and in the exact same tone (I was mortified, o dear – when I asked for a mini me – I didn’t mean for him to copy wrong traits too).
Have you ever met a kid you thought was so polite only to meet their parent(s) and go – “oh, I see why” – because they are just as polite. It’s not a coincidence. Its ‘monkey see, monkey do’ especially when kids are so young.
Children rarely do as you say, they do as you do. Heck, even adults mimic behavior. Truth is whether your child is very young or much older, she is still learning by observing your behavior. It is the design of nature for humans to learn first by observing.
Your kids are watching you. They see how you treat others, how you speak, and in the most unlikely of times they will replay your behavior to you much to your amazement. Just in case you haven’t figured it out yet, children are the real big brother.
They will copy your eating habits, copy how you treat yourself; they will learn esteem from you. They will learn how to treat others by the way you treat them. This is why YELLING and SHOVING are just soooo unproductive. You teach them not to be violent and at the minutest slip-up, you whip out the back-hand or scream at the top of your voice. Yet you expect these creatures to magically take on a calm, non-violent demeanor. How?
You constantly ask your child to do better, to be better; isn’t it high time you start taking your own advice?
Knowing that big brother always watches shouldn’t make you paranoid or make you feel bad. No. Don’t get overwhelmed. No matter how long you have been a parent you are still learning – its ok. Do the best you can.
Model the behavior you want to see in your kids. Show them how to act and how to behave and when you slip up, show them how you recover.
How you choose to do that is up you, just remember you are showing them how to behave by the way you behave, especially to them.
Now that you are aware, what is that one thing you know you do a hell of a lot of but you really don’t want your kid to copy? You know what to do.
Look out for #part3, last but certainly not the least of the series. It might make you cry.
About Olachi Olatunji
Hey, my name is Olachi and I like to refer to myself as a ‘thinking enthusiast.’
I love a few things, number one of them being learning and number two would be spreading.
I believe in the power of right thinking to transform lives and as a result; I enjoy spreading knowledge, inspiring thinking and encouraging movement.
I however am not a very serious person so please don’t expect to find me in a suit… In a crowd with beating music though, find me somewhere in the middle – moving to the beat and filling my soul with joy.
Nigeria has a long way to go when it comes to women’s rights, as political, religious and cultural nuances continue to shape and can restrict the visibility, participation and leadership roles available to Nigerian women. However, we can start by implementing some of these recommendations and ensure that the women’s justice agenda is created and is a priority at the local, state and federal levels of government.
On April 28, 2019, Matt Obono, convener of the TAP Initiative, reported that 70 women were arrested and taken to the Utako police station in Abuja.
Their offence? Partying at a nightclub. But it did not stop there.
Obono reported allegations of sexual abuse and molestation. “The joint task force who arrested these girls also molested and sexually assaulted them,” he said.
In a bid to justify their illegal arrest and detention, the 70 women were accused of crimes they did not commit. These women were publicly shamed, humiliated and paraded by the Nigerian authorities before the media while the rest of the world watched. This is not the first time that the Nigerian government will impede on and violate the rights of Nigerian women.
Only two years ago, Dorothy Njemanze, Edu Ene Okoro, Justina Etim and Amarachi Jessyforth won a lawsuit against the Nigerian government, and were each awarded damages in the sum of six million naira (about $16,500) after they were abducted, unlawfully detained, and assaulted sexually, physically, and verbally at different times between Janaury 2011 and March 2013 in the hands of the Abuja Environmental Protection Board (AEPB) and other government agencies, such as the police and the military.
They were arrested and accused of being prostitutes simply on the grounds that they were found on the streets at night.
Nigeria has a long way to go when it comes to women’s rights and attaining gender equality. In 2016, I penned the article, “A Year in Review: What It Means to be a Woman in Nigeria,” where I tried to enunciate the many issues facing women in our country. Since writing the article, not much has improved for women in Nigeria, in spite of the numerous organizations fighting tirelessly for gender equality and women’s rights. However, these women are pushing the envelope for good, and must be commended. Political nuances, religious and cultural beliefs continue to hinder on our progress.
To date, the Gender and Equal Opportunities Bill is yet to be passed, and has been voted against repeatedly by Nigerian lawmakers, majority of whom are men. (Women in parliament constitute just 5.6 percent). To date, there remains a lack of visible female leadership in politics, policy and governance, and there continues to be an absence of women’s participation in crucial decision making circles from business to technology.
Here are examples:
Seeing these photos from an appreciation dinner for Lagos State’s incoming governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, one is only left wondering, where are the women?
These from the Foundation for Good Governance for Development in Nigeria also beg the same question. Not represented at the event are women leaders from President Muhammadu Buhari’s team.
In a conversation with Angela Merkel, the first female chancellor of Germany, President Buhari, in 2016, made it clear that women (referring to his wife Aisha Buhari)only belong to the kitchen and to the bedroom. To date, he is yet to apologize for his comments about women.
Chief Executive Officer of Alpha Reach and popular social media commentator, J.J. Omojuwa wrote, “Nigeria is desperate for women in politics and governance” as he posted a photograph of Nigeria’s all male leadership team.View image on Twitter
What can be done to improve the participation of women across all sectors? What can we do, as active citizens, to ensure progress in gender equality and women’s rights: Here are a few recommendations:
Pass the Gender and Equal Opportunities Bill.
Fund and support women’s organizations and initiatives as women’s rights organizations help to strengthen the links between leaders and the women in the communities they represent.
Encourage and implement women’s participation in leadership roles at the local, state and federal levels of government.
Establish a sex offenders’ registry and database. Despite an overwhelming number of reported cases of sexual assaults, Nigeria has recorded only eighteen rape convictions in its legal history in a country of 190 million people.
Protect women and girls in Nigeria through new laws and policies; this will help Nigeria achieve the Sustainable Development Goals and Agenda on Women and Girls.
Indeed, Nigeria has a long way to go when it comes to women’s rights, as political, religious and cultural nuances continue to shape and can restrict the visibility, participation and leadership roles available to Nigerian women. However, we can start by implementing some of these recommendations and ensure that the women’s justice agenda is created and is a priority at the local, state and federal levels of government.
The women’s justice agenda will advance, implement and improve the reproductive, economic, political and social rights for all Nigerian women. The women’s justice agenda will ensure that the Nigerian government will be held accountable, and will remain at the forefront of this critical fight to protect women’s rights and ensure fairness for all women living in Nigeria.
There are those who live for the likes and comments. Constantly refreshing their feed to see if the numbers have gone up. How many views their videos have had in the last fifteen mins. Oh, the addiction has caused many anxiety attacks and depression. Having said all of this, the gift of social media is the connection with billions of people around the world, real time news, a place to share information and passion.
You attend a party, and rather than the revelers have a good time, you find them on their phones snapchatting, instagramming, tweeting, and updating their statuses. It sometimes replaces human interaction, and contributes to social divide. You find that some people are being discriminated against because of the kind of phone they use, or the quality of the pictures taken, or the lack of SnapChat filters thereof. Believe it or not, this actually happens.
Depending on how you use social media, it can be a curse or a blessing. Either way, technology has come to stay, and with it comes a wild world of innovative ideas that shape our daily lives. Social media enables real-time communication with family, friends, associates, and acquaintances, as well as enable us stay up to date with their lives and personal business. It can be lethargic, therapeutic or routine.
It can be used, abused or taken advantage of depending on the user’s intentions. Having said that, the power of social media is greater than any one individual, organization or country. For instance, go after Beyonce, troll her and see what happens to you. She has an entire community of what is called Beehives who will taunt and torment you with bee emojis, and you may be forced to temporarily suspend your account to be rid of them.
I prefer to see social media as somewhat of a revolution, where people can air their grievances, rise against tyrannical government policies, demand change, or simply rant. Some have cashed in big time with it, while some have gone down the dark road of destruction. There are those who use it for popularity, fame or notoriety, so many cases I don’t even know where to begin. From the actress who got naked on a live feed, or the transgender who boasts of a sugar daddy who funds his lavish lifestyle, to couples calling each out and going to war. Sadly, it is also used as a scamming tool, where fake accounts of famous people are created and used to ask unsuspecting fans for benefits or money. How about merchants who steal pictures from other people’s pages, post it on theirs, and when you pay for the items—poof! the page is gone, disappeared into oblivion.
Back in the day, you needed to log into Pornhub to see a nude picture, or slot in an x-rated DVD. Now tits and ass stare you dead in eye.
There are those who live for the likes and comments. Constantly refreshing their feed to see if the numbers have gone up. How many views their videos have had in the last fifteen mins. Oh, the addiction has caused many anxiety attacks and depression. Having said all of this, the gift of social media is the connection with billions of people around the world, real time news, a place to share information and passion.
It is a tool that is used by almost every single one of us. If used correctly, social media can aid crowdfunding,where supporters, users, friends or family can lend a hand. We’ve seen cases where ailing celebrities used their platforms to appeal for assistance, and with the help of reposts, entire medical bills running into millions were offset. Influencers grow brands or the brands grow the influencers. Buy and sell from the comfort of your home, advertise your products, and get exposure for your business at lower costs than any other means of traditional marketing. Educational institutes, teachers and professors can extend their classroom discussions and post assignments, quizzes and tests and assist students with homework.
As per 2017 statistics, a person spends an average of 135 minutes per day on social media, for some this is before sunrise. In conclusion, social media can give you fantastic returns if you use it positively and wisely. If you’re not taking advantage of social media, you’re missing out on a fast, inexpensive, and effective way to reach almost half the world’s population.
London-based Maryam Salam is breaking taboos about being a stylish Hijab wearer and has been helping inspire other women on Muslim beauty, fashion, and modesty with her fashion and lifestyle choices.
I’ve always worked on my faith journey with God and wearing hijab is something I’ve always wished for and prayed about. I believe dressing modestly is one of many steps to get stronger in my faith and closer to God.
The Nigerian blogger who transitioned to modest fashion including discussions around faith and being a hijabi in this millennial generation to her blog admits that adjusting her lifestyle and becoming more intentional about the way she dresses was not an easy one.
I lost my job then due to my choice to wear hijab in the workplace. However, this didn’t stop me, things got better. The more I embrace it, the better things get!
Two years later, Salam is now one of the biggest modest Nigerian fashion influencers and right after bagging a degree in Entrepreneurship & International Business last month, announced her new brainchild Arewa Scarveswhich doubles as a fashion accessory brand and also a fund-raising platform for the education of the girl child with a portion of every sale going to a charity organisation based in Nigeria.
Bella Naija caught up with Maryam and she talks about the inspiration behind Arewa Scarves, why it was important to create that brand and the impactful ways she hopes to change the way hijab-wearing women perceive themselves.
***
BNS: Tell us about the new brand Maryam: Arewa Scarves is a social enterprise providing carefully selected and high-quality scarves to suit every skin tones while supporting Girl-child education in Nigeria by donating £1 from every sale to our charity partner Global Hope Integrated Empowerment (an NGO in Nigeria for women and children) executing these aims.
BNS:What is the inspiration behind Arewa Scarves? Maryam: The desire to make an impact in the community. In my mind, I had a plan to: finish my first degree, then second, then apply for jobs, get a small apartment then start saving to achieve my goals gradually but God had a better plan. After several years of being scared, planning and hesitating (sometimes), I launched a project very dear to my heart and finally, I can embark on this journey that isn’t just about me or for me. Arewa Scarves is more than a fashion brand but we hope it will become a movement/community where we can impact lives while still looking beautiful. It’s about coming together to support a cause: The girl-child and children in general for something we might see as little but impactful (£1 from every sale is donated to support Girl-child, implemented by our charity partners)
BNS: Why was there a need to create this brand now? Maryam: I am a hijabi and I struggle with finding high-quality scarves that suits me, that’s maybe because I am dark skinned. That’s why Arewa Scarves focus on pieces that enhance skin colour, especially for people of colour.
BNS: Who is your brand targeted at? Maryam: Our target audience is first young people that believe in our brand promise: “together, we can make a big impact“ and people of colour who love to explore the beauty of scarves. We believe Arewa Scarves is an experience. We want women to feel beautiful, empowered and confident when wearing our scarves.
BNS: What are some plans you have for the brand? Maryam: To be able to spread our support across different countries and charity organizations in Africa.
Sara Hinesley, a 10-year-old girl who was born without hands has just won the 2019 Zaner-Bloser National Handwriting Contest.
She said she found writing in cursive to be easy and practiced it a lot. “She can do just about anything often times better than me or my husband,” said her mom, Cathryn Hinesley.
Besides writing, Sara likes to create art, ride her bike, read and swim.
The students were informed that sexual harassment is both a civil wrong and a criminal offense. The students were also reminded that rape and sexual assault by penetration carry life imprisonment, while sexual harassment is three years imprisonment.
In a bid to ensure continuous sensitization of students on sexual harassment and safety on campus, the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team recently engaged students of both the University of Lagos and Lagos State University. The sensitization was done during orientation program for fresh students who have recently been enrolled into the two higher institutions.
The team spoke on the topic “Prevention of Rape and Sexual Assault on Campus.”
The focus on fresher students is key, as statistics have shown that they are at a greater risk of being sexually abused on campus, due to perceived naivety and an initial lack of safety awareness within campus or red flags they should be wary of.
They were also informed of what consent entails and understanding that consent is freely given, reversible and specific. The team also used this opportunity to address the criminality of sexual harassment, making it clear that students should report lecturers and people in authority in the respective institutions who solicit for sexual favors, or make unwelcome sexual advances that affect the students’ educational opportunity, or create intimidating, hostile or offensive learning environment. The students were informed that sexual harassment is both a civil wrong and a criminal offense.
The students were also enlightened on the appropriate channels through which reports of such acts can be made. Conversely, students were advised to report immediately to their course adviser, counselor or the Dean of Students Affairs. The orientation expatiated on the legal provision on sexual abuse in Lagos State. The students were also reminded that rape and sexual assault by penetration carry life imprisonment, while sexual harassment is three years imprisonment. The presentation also elaborated on the safety measures to take on campus, in social settings, and the steps to be taken if a student unfortunately falls victim to the vices. The students also received information, education, and communication materials with relevant contact details and quick steps to take in case of an emergency.
