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Marriage pressure
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Titilola Edu: Single, 30 & The Unnecessary Pressure To Get Married

Marriage pressure is one of the biggest challenges folks in their 30’s face. If you have experienced this, then this article is for you.

“Simisola, buy balloon na and do photo-shoot for your birthday”, Tayo said.

“Limme, I’m not buying balloon”

“Why nau? Buy jor so that we can post fine pictures on Instagram”

“Please you people should not go and display my age on my birthday on Instagram o”

Simisola’s 30th birthday was in a couple of days and she was sure her friends would want to announce her cross over to the world of the thirties. But Simi was vehemently against it. Tayo bullied, scolded and bashed her but she maintained her stand that she didn’t want a public announcement of her age. She just wasn’t ready for the questions friends and family would ask.

“So Simi, err… time is no longer on your side o, when are you getting married?’

Aunt Dayo her mother’s eldest sister had called her a couple of days ago full of praises. “SimiSimi peperempempe Peperempe, How are you my dear, your birthday is coming up soon o, Awon brother nko? when are we going to meet them, you are not getting younger o, don’t let your looks deceive you. Abi is there a problem? Shey you will come to my house let us discuss it. Plus Joke, that my friend, her son is back from the States, very fine boy….”

Her Mom had also called her to get ready for deliverance in her church soon.

Poor Simi, she’s beginning to think she has a problem and must marry the next man available.

So many ladies are in Simi’s shoes right now. The pressure from family, friends and the society is insane! Why are we like this sha?!

Society will force you to get married because according to them you are now “ripe for marriage”, saddling an otherwise good woman with a lifelong handicap.

We look upon a young unmarried lady as though she’s suffering from a vile disease just because she’s not married. A lady over the age of thirty soon becomes the butt of ridicule, accusations and meddling, by those around her. Of course there are many reasons a woman could remain unmarried – failed relationships, attitude, exposure, etc.

A lot of times people assume it’s because she has a bad character – in cases when it is, rather than ridicule them, why not help build and mold such women to be better.

Marriage is not the beginning and end of life. I have no doubt its meant to be beautiful and meaningful because it is God’s mandate, but only if you are in it for the right reasons with God’s leading, then it will be fine. Maybe not perfect but it will be fine.  Please don’t make marriage seem like the highest possible achievement a woman can ever have.

There are so many young, impressionable women out there, what advice are we giving?

Be a better woman so God can send the right man your way or you better hurry up and marry the next available guy because time is no longer on your side.

We need to realize that at the end of the day titles are meaningless where genuine feelings are nonexistent.

Stop worshipping the RING! Nigerians also need to change the mentality that the life aim of every woman is to be married and have children. Don’t get me wrong please, I am definitely not in support of the “You don’t need a man team” Hollup! Lol. I definitely need a man, but biko, please, let us marry for the right reasons, not because we want to please friends and family.

No be so? Please advise Simisola.

 

 

 

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Afraid of commitment
In Career Gems By

Tammy Kyne: 5 Signs You’re Afraid Of Commitment

Are you afraid of commitment? Your significant other one day mentions how all of your friends are getting married and starting families.

You don’t see the rush or the big deal since you’ve been pretty satisfied in your relationship. You clam up at the thought of the M-word and cleverly redirect the conversation and dodge that bullet yet again. Are you just not ready for marriage? Or could it be that you are afraid of commitment?

Here are 5 signs you could be.

Hot then cold.

When the relationship started, you were moving fast and just couldn’t get enough of being with your boyfriend. Bae was the only thing on your mind. He was also the person on your contact list you’d make sure you wouldn’t miss a call or text from. Then when the direction of your connection turned serious, you start to stomp on the brakes. It seems a fire that was burning so hot at the start has now started to cool off quickly.

The chase is always fun and exciting, but when it seems you’ve captured your prey, it loses all the fun. Afraid of commitment? I would say probably so.

Friends and family.

If you’ve been dating for any significant amount of time, let’s say 6-8 months and have yet to introduce your new boo to your family and friends something is definitely off here. A person that has a long-term interest in a relationship wouldn’t be able to keep their significant other to themselves for that long.

Can’t find a reason to show him off? You’re probably afraid of commitment.

Sabotage is her name.

Say you begin a relationship and just as things are going along well, you decide that a minor flaw in the other person has become immediately unacceptable and you break it off. Or a worst case scenario would be to just end the relationship without an explanation. Both of these scenarios is a sure sign that you don’t want to be in a long-term relationship. The thought strikes fear deep in your heart and paralyzes your better judgment and consideration. Sabotage driven by fear of commitment destroys what could have been a promising relationship.

My future is bright.

It’s all about right now. How you feel right now. What you’re doing right now. Who you’re interested in right now. The passion for your boyfriend is all good..now. Thoughts about your future equal everything you’ve ever wanted; that promotion in a career, travel, and possibly another degree. You just don’t envision your boyfriend there with you. Your life is on the fast track to success and you don’t want anything to ‘get in the way’.

We’re just ‘Friends’.

“Oh he’s just my friend” That’s what you say when friends and family ask you about the guy you’ve been hanging out with.

Labeling is for food. When it comes to relationships you’re okay without them. As long as everything can continue as it has, you see no issue with being called “just friends”. If the norm is maintained, then that is right in your lane and everything is everything. The trouble comes at the talk of anything like boyfriend/girlfriend or even God forbid, ‘fiancee’. That’s when you run for the border, tell him he is moving too fast and stop answering his phone calls.

The one for me?

The idea of being with one person for the rest of your life is scary, an absolutely terrifying thought for a commitment phobe. The thought of being with only one person for the rest of your life has so many layers. This will be the only person you have a sexual relationship with; the only person you’ll wake up to EVERY morning. That can be overwhelming to say the least and for a commitment phobe, that worry multiplies.

Conclusion

If you are a commitment phobe, it can turn into a frustrating situation. You have to keep in mind what is acceptable in your life and realize that time is precious and it waits for no man or woman. For the one that is commitment averse, keep this next thought upstairs. When or if you finally make up your mind, just hope that you don’t run into yourself.

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How to fix a broken marriage
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How To Fix A Broken Marriage And Save Your Relationship

When you are a child and dream of your “happily ever after,” it never dawns on you that your marriage might not end up that way. I mean, let’s face it – all the Disney movies in the world never, ever hint to the fact that Cinderella and her Prince Charming would ever have any problems, right?

Well, Disney movies aren’t real life. Although we all know this on a conscious level, we still – in our hearts – hope that we will be the exception to the rule. We think that we will be one of the lucky ones who have a lifelong, happy marriage.

However, for many couples, it simply doesn’t happen. Why is that? Well, the reasons are many, which I will go into in a minute. But no one teaches us how to have a loving marriage. And if we didn’t see our parents living happily together, then we really have no model for it.

So, what if you find yourself in an unhappy marriage? How to fix a broken marriage and save your relationship?

Reasons that Lead to a Broken Marriage

I really wish all of us could take a class in school called Relationships 101. But no one is ever formally taught how to have a good marriage (or any relationship for that matter). What is the result? The result is that all of us just sort of fly by the seat of our pants and wing it when it comes to relationships. But if you want to have a happy, healthy, successful marriage, you can’t do that.

Here are some of the causes of a broken marriage.

Laziness

Everyone says relationships are hard and take a lot of hard work. Well, think about it. Anything in this life that is worth having takes effort, right? I mean, unless you win the lottery, you won’t become rich without hard work.

Relationships are no different. You have to put in effort into your marriage. If you don’t, and are too lazy to keep it alive, it will die.

Selfishness

Many people are selfish to some extent. But when it comes at the price of a healthy marriage, then it’s a problem. You can’t always put your needs first. You have to put your partner’s needs at least equal to – or before – your own. Otherwise, resentment will keep building endlessly.

Neglect

This goes hand-in-hand with laziness and selfishness. If you are lazy and don’t put in effort, and you are constantly selfish, then you are neglecting your partner – and your relationship as a whole.

Relationships are like plants. If you don’t water a plant, it will die. If you neglect a marriage, it will eventually end as well.

Children

As much as we love them, children are hard on a marriage. If you are honest with yourself, you know it’s true. Children take a lot of time and energy – time and energy that could spent on your marriage. So, when couples don’t stay connected because children get in the way, then your marriage will break down.

Poor Communication Skills

Knowing how to talk to your partner to express your feelings and needs is essential. However, both people need to do the same and have empathy for the other person.

If empathy (the ability to identify with and see the other person’s point of view) doesn’t exist, then it’s virtually impossible to have a healthy marriage.

How to Fix a Broken Marriage (without Couseling)

Sometimes, we feel hopeless when we’re in a bad marriage. You wonder if it is ever possible to rediscover the good relationship you had in the beginning. The answer is yes, but you have to put in some work.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have the financial means to go to counseling. However, if you do, I would suggest that as a first step.

Even if this is not an option, here are some steps you can try:

1. Take a Good Look at Yourself

It takes two to tango. I’m sure you’ve heard that saying before. In other words, problems in a relationship are rarely the sole responsibility of just one person.

Take a look at your behaviors and speculate how they might have contributed to the state of your marriage.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Own Actions

Now that you know what you did to contribute to your marital problems, own up to them. Tell your spouse how you feel, and then commit to changing your behavior immediately.

3. Be Honest with Yourself and Your Spouse

Sometimes it’s easier to put your head in the sand and ignore the problems. But your marriage won’t get any better if you do this!

Sit down and be honest with yourself about the state of the marriage. Then, take your feelings to your spouse and have a deep, heart-to-heart talk.

4. Have a Talk

This is an obvious step, but it needs to be done. You can’t map out a plan for the future if you don’t even talk about your problems to begin with.

5. Each Partner Explains His/Her Perception of the Problems

Perception is reality. In other words, your spouse probably sees the marriage in a very different way than you do. So, you need to listen to your partner’s point of view.

6. Just Listen

While your spouse is explaining their point of view, just listen to them. Don’t talk. Don’t interrupt them. Instead, stay calm and don’t get defensive.

7. Make a List of Things That Both People Want to Change

In order to rebuild your marriage, things obviously need to change – on both sides. So, both of you need to write down, and talk about, what needs to be changed in the marriage.

8. Write out a “Contract”

It’s easy for people to say they are going to change, but it’s another thing for them to actually follow through with it. So, it’s best to write a “contract” between the two of you and sign it. This shows commitment to each other for change.

9. Spend Quality Time Together

You can’t rebuild your marriage if you aren’t spending time together! It seems obvious, but you need to rediscover each other, and spending quality time talking and doing things is imperative.

10. Ditch the Technology

Believe it or now, technology is a huge culprit in the downfall of relationships. Whether it’s the TV, cell phone, or video games, spending too much time with technology and not each other is the kiss of death. Make sure you put that down and talk to each other on a regular basis.

Can You Fix a Broken Marriage Alone?

This is a very common question that I am asked, which does not have an easy answer. In fact, my first instinct is to answer “it cannot be done.” I truly do believe it takes two committed people to rebuild a marriage. However, if you don’t have a willing spouse, you can try these steps if you are desperate enough to try to go it alone:

Take a Look Back at What Happened in the Marriage

Do a “relationship autopsy.” In other words, how did the marriage die? Just like a literal dead body is dissected after death, you can look at your marriage and see what went wrong.

If you find that a lot of the causes were because of YOU, then you can change your actions.

Notice Any Common Patterns That Have Emerged over the Years

Relationships always develop patterns. Some are good, and some are bad. So, you need to look for recurring themes in your marriage that may have gotten you into trouble. Once you identify them, try something new instead of repeating the same actions in the future.

Final Thoughts

Rebuilding a marriage is not easy, but it can be done. The easiest way to have a healthy relationship is to not let it break down in the first place. However, since that’s not an option, all the tips in this article will definitely put you both on the path to resurrecting what was lost.

Source: Lifehack

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Money habits
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4 Bad Money Habits That Will Keep You Broke

Bad money habits are kind of hard to break. We do them over and over without even realizing it.

We all want to be rich. I mean, who doesn’t? But it’s one thing to fantasize about the many things you can do with a big paycheck and it’s another thing to muster the discipline you need to make it a reality. If you have bad money habits, you’ll get into a lot of financial trouble.

For so long, I had no clear plan for my financial journey. All I knew was there was money and it had to be spent.

Are you having issues saving? Do you feel like it’s a load of work putting some money down for the future? Well, I’ve got a couple of tips that can help you.

Here are 4 bad money habits you need to quit this minute if you want to become more financially independent:

Procrastination

This is personal for me. I put off starting an investment plan for a later time. And I just kept pushing it farther. Not that I was super busy or anything, just plain laziness and a lack of self-discipline on my part.
It wasn’t until I told myself the hard truth: that I can either continue pushing it later or just do it now and get organized. I realized that time was running out and that I had no clear financial goals.

The Fix

No one is coming to do it for you so you better get on with it. If you keep procrastinating, you’ll end up broke with lots of debts.

Impulse Purchasing/Buying

We’ve all been here. That urge to buy something. We give ourselves all the reasons why we need to have it. Impulse buying is all in the name. You see a bag and immediately want to buy it. You don’t even stop to consider the cost or whether you actually need it. You buy it before you stop to think whether you need it or can afford it.

The Fix

You need to first recognize this is a problem and keep track. Before you find yourself reaching for that candy or new pair of shoes, ask yourself if you have the resources and if you really need it. Don’t be in a rush; be certain you need it before you do.

Not Budgeting

A lot of people live on more than they make. If you don’t have a monthly budget, your money will disappear and you won’t know where it went.
A budget allows you to see how much money you’re bringing in and where it’s all going. It enables you to make changes that help you save more money and avoid going into the red each month.

Pro-tip

It doesn’t have to be a big chore. It can start with only carrying a small amount of cash with you each day. You can also sign up with a money-saving app that automatically tracks your spending for you. Here’s an easy budget template for you.

Love of Convenience

Once a while, it’s okay to make a convenience purchase. These are purchases that are routine and take little thought when being bought. However, if you find yourself regularly making convenience purchases, it’ll cost you.

Pro-tip

You can start by cooking instead of buying fast food every day. Make a regular weekend event of preparing a dish that can be separated into freezer containers for future use.

You can also stop getting that expensive breakfast on your way to work every morning and rather get up 5 minutes earlier to prepare something. I know waking up early might be hard for me so, I cook when I come home. At least I know lunch for the next day is sorted out.

So, there you have it, 4 bad money habits that are keeping you from attaining financial independence. Which of them are you  guilty of?

About Judith Abani

Judith Abani is a contributing writer and editor for She leads Africa . She is a graduate of Sociology and Linguistics. She believes that it is never late to achieve your dreams and is passionate about the success of ladies. She is an avid reader, a writer, and lover of good food and positive people.

Source: She Leads Africa

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Toxic parebt
In Career Gems By

Model Ajuzie: Signs That You May Be A Toxic Parent

Parenting has no module but there are significant signs that you as a parent ignore or overlook but it only makes you a toxic parent.
Building a healthy relationship with your child is  as important and sending them to acquire formal education. To some parents they call strict discipline but in the actual sense they are creating an invisible dangerous wall between them and their kid(s)
Here are signs that you may be having a toxic relationship with your child.

1. Not being you

Kids tend to confide in someone who show them love, listen to them without judging and allows them express their feelings and thought. As a parent if your child gets all these from a stranger, then you really need to re-evaluate their stances.
Knowing the level of menace and harm going on in today’s society, parents should try to build that trust and earn their confidence that way they will be the first to hear and know if there be any form of threat or danger to their wellbeing.
Also your relationship with your child should be one in which they can have access to discussing all which includes their academics or even social life. Make them understand your principles but still be that friend that they can depend on always

2. Your absence is irrelevant

It is a known fact that kids want to be around those who they see always and gives them that attention they crave for. To kids communication means alot and thanks to technology that has bridged the gap so parents  who are far should take advantage of this. Your opinion of them understanding your tight schedule may not be totally acceptable to them.

3. Comparing them with others

Every child is unique and no child is the same. Parents who use abusive words or deteriorating words produce kids with low self esteem.  Every child has his own potentials and should be allowed to manifest with proper  guidance and not forced  into competing with his mate. Help build their self confidence and encourage them in both their win and loss.  Celebrate their efforts and never limit their dreams and aspiration.

4.Limiting them to a particular ideology

Train a child in a way that when he grows he should be able to differentiate good from bad. He should be allowed to make certain decisions without re straying him as long as it brings no harm to him. Enforcing any form of especially when they are of age to make choices makes you a toxic parent. Allow them express their freedom of choice and when they make mistake, correct them in love without talking down their self confidence.
And finally be a role model to your child. It makes the work easier and they directly and directly pick up certain traits that shapes their being. Match your words with godly character and see the beauty in parenting. Also never forget that no child is the same with the other and every child is special in his ways.
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How to fix a broken marriage
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5 Best Dating Apps For Serious Relationships

Are you looking  for love? Is one of your 2023  goals to find love? Then this post is for you.

When it comes to app-based dating, no other application comes close to Tinder in popularity and membership size. But because it’s increasingly becoming perceived as more of a hookup app than a platform for serious relationships, more and more people are looking elsewhere to find the one.

Here are 5 best dating apps:

Hinge

Based on Hinge’s bold claim that it’s a dating app that’s “designed to be deleted,” you could immediately tell that it’s serious about forming genuine, long-lasting connections between users. And they’re serious about

Hinge boasts of an algorithm that improves itself by taking into account how successful users feel their first dates are. This means your results from using the app are bound to get better over time.

OkCupid

For the young and liberal crowd looking for lasting connections, OkCupid is as good as it gets. With dedicated space in your bio to specify your preferred pronouns and an emphasis on users’ political and social views, this app brands itself as online matchmaking that’s relevant to the times.

serious relationships

Bumble

Bumble was first founded to challenge the antiquated rules of dating. Now, Bumble empowers users to connect with confidence whether dating, networking, or meeting friends online.

Coffee Meets Bagel

Do you ever feel like your online matches never end up turning into real dates? If the answer is yes, consider using Coffee Meets Bagel.

This unique app imposes an 8-day limit on online message exchanges, which encourages dates IRL and taking things to the next level. And unlike Tinder, women outnumber the men on this app.

Match

Match.com’s dating app is best suited for people over 30. This is awesome considering how most of the newer apps coming out these days are targeted towards the younger crowd. You’re going to have to shell out some money to exchange messages through the app. But since it’s a paid app, this means you’re only going to encounter people who are serious enough about meeting someone to invest in a paid subscription.

best dating apps

A parting note

In today’s coronavirus-ridden world, being able to date and meet people virtually is a godsend. Although the world’s most popular dating app, Tinder, is now known to be more of an avenue for casual dating and hookups, there’s no need to despair. There are a number of fun, safe, and effective apps for people looking for serious relationships.

So go ahead and take your pick! Who knows? Your soulmate may be one swipe and like away.

Related:

10 Ways To Have a Successful Relationship

14 Ways To Deal With Insecurity And Jealousy In A Relationship

How To Leave A Toxic Relationship

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Menstrual pain
In Career Gems By

Causes And Treatment Of Breast Pain During Menstruation

Cyclical pain is the pain that is associated with menstrual cycle. It is the most common type of breast pain and usually occurs in both breasts.

Studies have shown that seventy percent of women experience breast pain during menstruation.

And while it can be serious for a few, it is usually mild for most of them.

There is also the group that experiences breast pain, which is also known as mastalgia, regularly; and a good number of them are advanced in age.

However, the causes of breast pain may vary based on the type or category of breast pain. And according to studies, breast pain can either be categorized as cyclical pain or non-cyclical pain.

1. Cyclical pain

Just as the name implies, cyclical pain is the pain that is associated with menstrual cycle. It is the most common type of breast pain and usually occurs in both breasts.

Known to come with a heaviness or soreness that radiates to the armpit and arm, the primary cause of cyclical breast pain can be linked to the fluctuation of estrogen and progesterone.

However, observations have shown that cyclical pain tends to subside during or after menstruation period.

2. Noncyclical pain

Unlike cyclical pain, noncyclical pain can have many causes which includes injury to the breast, breast size, cysts, muscles or tissues rather than the breast itself, and other numerous unknown factors.

Nevertheless, noncyclical pain has been found to be much less common than cyclical pain, and its causes can be very difficult to identify.

Here are some home remedies for treating cyclical pain

1.Home therapies

Medical practitioners have advised that applying cold compresses or heating pads to the breasts can help reduce cyclical breast pain.

Additionally, taking a warm bath with soothing essential oils, like rosemary or lavender can help relieve the pain as well.

It has also been advised that wearing loose cotton clothes and massaging breasts in the shower with soap can help bring relieve breast pain.

2. Lifestyle changes

Some experts have also suggested that breast pain may be improved by:

  • Reducing your intake of caffeine, which is found in tea, coffee, and cola
  • Reducing your intake of saturated fat, which is found in butter, crisps, and fried food
  • Not smoking (if you smoke)

However, the benefits of making these changes have not been scientifically proven.

3. Herbs

In addition to the solutions stated above, herbal remedies have long been proven to be a natural and economical method of treating breast pain.

And two popular herbs for relieving cyclical breast pain are chaste berry and soy. Chasteberry helps reduce prolactin levels, which in turn reduces breast pain.

On the other hand, soy contains phytoestrogenic compounds, which raise estrogen levels and ease breast pain, making it popular among menopausal women.

Other nutrient-rich food that can help relieve breast pain includes Salmon, avocados, spinach, kale, and guavas.

4. Nonprescription medicines

It is also possible to reduce breast pain with the following nonprescription medicines. But ensure to read and follow the instructions on the label!

  • Acetaminophen, such as Tylenol
  • Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), such as ibuprofen(Advil or Motrin), naproxen (Aleve or Naprosyn), or aspirin (Anacin, Bayer)

However, it is advisable to visit a doctor if breast pain becomes severe or lasts longer than three weeks.

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relationship tips
In Career Gems By

5 Things Your Partner Does Not Need To Know About You

Consider this relationship tips  101, these are  some things you really should not be telling that your boyfriend or girlfriend if you intend to keep the relationship going.

It’s OK to cut down on openness in a relationship from 100% to somewhere in the region of 90% or so. And here’s the reason: some people really just can’t handle the truth. It does not make them bad people or bad partners; they’re not just wired to be calm or stay sane in the face of certain revelations.

So instead of risking something beautiful over an inconsequential detail that’ll likely not hurt anyone if forever locked away in a vault, just keep mum and continue coasting with the love of your life.

Here are 5 times when it’s OK to leave some things unsaid;

For real, not many boyfriends/girlfriends want to hear the step by step narration and graphic details of how you had sex in a bathroom stall at the mall with your ex or some random babe.

As we already discussed in detail here, for the ladies, only your doctor and/or gynecologist deserves this information.

Really, this is literally opening the door for problems no one wants. Here’s the thing about revealing this information – you put your partner in a position to have his imagination roam and become paranoid.

Even if you searched and found out that they’ve been loyal and loyal to you, keep the good news to yourself.

There really is no way to justify snooping through his stuff in the first instance. You’re going to come off as distrustful and things may just go downhill from there. Better keep the info to yourself.

Ladies, your boyfriend does not need to know that you have been stalking his ex on social media. You’ll come off as insecure and you don’t need that.

Related;

5 relationship goals you should yearn to achieve

12 relationship deal breakers deal breakers you should not negotiate

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Fake love
In Career Gems By

4 Signs Of Fake Love In A Relationship

To really know that the love in your relationship is genuine or fake, here are some of the signs to look out for.

Is the love in your relationship real, or fake?

If it is, all you should do is keep growing the love, keep staying truthful to each other, keep drinking a lot of water, and just keep treating each other in all the good ways that will allow the relationship thrive further.

On the flipside, fake love is not something anyone would want to live with. Sadly, it is exactly what some people have in their relationships. If the relationship is based on anything different from a genuine willingness to see the other person flourish in every sense of the word, if it is based on something fleeting and temporary, then it is likely fake.

To really know that the love in your relationship is fake, here are some things you may want to watch out for:

1. They’re emotionally distant

In a relationship, fakers have a tendency to be non-communicative. They’ll provide little to no substance to what’s going on in their life. They’ll also make excuses why they “couldn’t” communicate especially when it is a little difficult to do so.

The difference between them and someone with genuine love for you is the extra effort needed to reach out when it’s not so easy.

 

If you are happy in a relationship, you need to look for a way to keep at it. If they make you happy, don't let it go. [Credit Freepik]If you are happy in a relationship, you need to look for a way to keep at it. If they make you happy, don’t let it go. [

2. Always willing to throw in the towel

Conflict happens in every relationship. It demonstrates a level of care which partner have for one another.

That said, every conflict demands a resolution. If you’re the only one trying to resolve any conflict or problems that arise, it’s often a telltale sign of emotional detachment and this of course, is a major sign you’ll find in people who have got only fake love for you.

They really won’t care whether the relationship works or fails.

3. They don’t meet you halfway

Are you always the one to plan things? Check on the other person? Take responsibilities and all that? If so, what concessions, if any, is your partner making? Where’s the effort on their part?

Relationship and compromise are like two peas in a pod. A lack of effort is a universal sign of disinterest – and a relationship is no different.

A lack of effort from a partner is a universal sign of disinterest and you should not ignore it if you see the sign in a relationship [Credit - Shutterstock]A lack of effort from a partner is a universal sign of disinterest and you should not ignore it if you see the sign in a relationship [Credit – Shutterstock]

4. Unconcern

An authentic relationship sparks feelings of passion for each other. You’ll be curious, concerned, involved, etc in all that the other person does.

Someone who continuously acts indifferent isn’t engaged, likely detached, and unfit – not to mention unworthy – of a real relationship.

5. That gut feeling

Many times, when someone does not really love you, you will know. There’s usually that sixth sense, that gut feeling in the pit of your stomach that keeps pricking you.

Add this to all the signs that you will see, and the picture is clear that this babe or that guy doesn’t really love you. They’re only with you because they have no option, or for the money or some other fake reason.

Be honest with yourself. Are you wasting your time? Money? Energy?

Extra: You can also find love on these dating apps 

Related:

 

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Dr. Malvika Iyer
In Inspiration By

Dr. Malvika Iyer: Motivational Speaker, Social Activist And Disability Rights Activist

Meet – Dr Malvika Iyer, on 26 May 2002, at age 13, she accidentally picked up a diffused grenade bomb at her home in Bikaner, Rajasthan that exploded in her hands, blew off both her hands and severely damaged her legs.

There was little hope for her survival when she was taken to the hospital. She was conscious but in terrible pain. Subsequent to surviving that night, she had to undergo surgeries across 2 years and was bedridden for 18 months.

Dr. Malvika Iyer

Against all odds, at age 28, she obtained a Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) in Social Work from the University of Madras. She also holds a Master of Philosophy (M.Phil) in Social Work from the University of Madras, a Master of Social Work (M.S.W) in Social Work from Delhi University and a Bachelor of Arts (B.A) in Economics from St. Stephen’s College.

Dr Malvika Iyer’s story is one of courage and determination. She has come a long way from surviving a gruesome bomb blast at the age of 13 that blew off both her hands and severely damaged her legs, to winning the highest civilian honor from the President of India.

Today, she is an award-winning Disability Rights Activist and International Motivational Speaker – inspiring millions of people to forget their limitations and take on the world with confidence and hope.

“When the bomb blew up my hands, the doctors were under a lot of pressure to save my life so they made some surgical errors while stitching back my right hand, the stump has a bone protruding out which is not covered by any flesh. But that very mistake has proven so incredible that the bone acts like my only finger. That’s how I type,” said Dr Malvika Iyer.

Dr. Malvika Iyer – Quotes”

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”

“I have come to realize that I could be the President of India and people would still pity me. It’s in their nature. Now I concentrate on my own abilities and not people’s reactions towards me. That’s all it took to change my life”

“The next time you see someone differently-abled, think about it – We are all people and we have to remember that at all times, those people didn’t choose to be born or have that disability, that is just how things go from time to time. Do not stand and stare, rather be empathetic, respectful and inclusive.”

 

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