The journey of marriage is that which requires careful planning, deliberations and considerations on both partners. Both parties should be knowledgeable enough about what they are getting into before tying the knot. Before considering who you marry, there has to be a clear understanding of your life, journey and the kind of family you want to have. This would determine the team players like you and your spouse.
So here are 5 things to consider as you prepare for marriage
In marriage, values are important because they determine your actions and reactions and it is important to consider your spouse’s values before marriage. Values are principles that determine how you live your life, what you do, the people you walk with, who you connect with and who you get engaged with. It is better that you know what your values are so that you do not end up dating people who do not share in your values.
Examples of values that can really create a friction in marriage are Integrity, Spirituality, Family and Hard work. If you are dating someone who is dishonest, lies a lot and does not keep to promises or who does not care about people, when you get married, you will find out that you both will feel disconnected in many ways leading to unmet or failed expectations and disappointments.
2 Personality Types
Your personality determines how you behave, your strength, your behavior and view towards life. Knowing your personality helps to master those areas that can easily hunt you down and master those strengths that are way makers for you.
To be able to do this, you need to know your temperaments. Your temperament is the way God wired you from birth. It’s the part of you that precedes any environmental factors.
We have four major ones which are:
Find out which of these you are, discover how they work for you and also take feedback from people on how well you can be better while on your journey to self-mastery. So that when you get married, you can know how to manage yourself and also manage your partner’s behavior and personality too. Learning about personality types will help you manage your relationship with your partner. It will help you understand why they act in some ways.
Everyone is born with a unique purpose in life but not everyone is able to recognize the significance of this life’s substance or acknowledge the purpose which can make life meaningful and fulfilling even before they find that special person to complement them. A life without a purpose to serve as compass for direction during the years you are single may develop many complex issues in the years to come both in your personal and married life.
Your purpose can only be found in God. One of the things you want to do is build self-awareness, understand yourself in God, discover your strength, understand your talents, your gifting and build a close walk with God so that you can see how all of these things fit into the plan he has for you before you were born.
One of the biggest reasons of this is that, many people experience a reawakening moment in marriage and discover that the person they married is not willing to support them in their purpose. To avoid this, get a glimpse of your future and walk with someone who can help you fly with it.
4. Your Walk With God
I’ve noticed that Spirituality or Faith for many people is at the core of their lives and they really want people who can share the same thing with them. So before you get married, it’s really good that you build a relationship with God so that you can really understand your life and build a strong anchor for yourself. So that when you get married, you do not seek for happiness and joy from your spouse. But you know that you have a true source that is deeper than that.
Having a consistent relationship with God prepares and gives you an advantage in your life’s choices; because you would not be kept in the dark about the vital things that matter to your life and as such help you make healthy choices.
5 Family Pattern
Discover the patterns that are operating in your family like anger, delays or late marriage.
What are those patterns in terms of behavior, lifestyle, circumstances or delays that you have noticed?
How can you wage against it?
Do you want to develop yourself; do you want to pray about it?
Do you want to become accountable?
Do you want to build structures around your life so that you can be a different person who does not end up in a marriage that repeats itself?
So with these five things, you can be able to build self-awareness around it and one of the ways you can build self-awareness is to read more books, take part in programs, have a mentor, seek support from other friends who have the same like mind goal and always take feedback from life.
Journaling is a good way to track your life experiences and patterns.
These are some of the things you can build your life with so that you can get married and be at peace with yourself and who you have chosen.
In what ways have you been preparing yourself towards marriage?
What will you start doing differently?