self development - Women of Rubies

In Career Gems November 16, 2021 By Women of Rubies

Award Winning Photographer Toni Payne Soar With NFT Art, Sell Out Her Collections

The award winning photographer who ventured into NFTs recently sold out her collections. Payne, who wears many hats, has taken her talent to different sectors, and enjoys working with still and moving images to create visual masterpieces, and NFTs.

Her collections Include; “Africa”, which was shot in different parts of Africa, “Power In words”; which is a series infusing inspirational quotes, and written with photographic art in muted tones, and her “Blue Chip” collection which is contemporary still life images influenced by Vermeer sold out.

Physical photos were the trend a few years ago, but Non-fungible tokens (NFTs ) are out to change the photography market .

It verifies ownership, creates uniqueness, and rewards creators, they cannot be duplicated or replaced, and earns a digital certificate of authenticity for the visual artist.

NFTs are equally recorded via a blockchain which potentially serves as the digital ledger for NFT artwork, while copyright remains with the artist. It gives the artist the ability to make money directly should they decide to resell. Notable personalities like JayZ, MC Hammer , Eminem etc own NFTs and have spoken of it’s ripple effect.

Speaking about her collections and new feat, Toni Payne said; “I create timeless art, bringing the old into new and giving life to objects I capture with my lens. My blue-chip collection currently has 6 still life with food pieces and it merges old school with contemporary in a medium photography. It shows the depth of what you can do with photography, and features strong aesthetics. NFT art photography is soaring on historical collection houses like Christie’s and Sotheby’s’

In self development November 14, 2022 By Women of Rubies

Top Seven Tips to Help You Ace That Job Interview

If you have spent a minute in the job hunting scene, you will agree with me that the interview process is stressful and hectic. You are trying to make a good impression while at the same time, trying to exude confidence and capability of handling the job.

Then there is the fear of doing too much or doing too little and not being called back after the interview.

I can relate with you and I understand how you feel.

Sure, looking professional is important and should be taken seriously. However, if you look good and don’t know how to conduct yourself throughout the interview, you probably won’t get the job. It’s that simple.

There is an art to doing a good job during the interview, and this article is here to show you how.

Dress Like You Already Have The Job.

The most basic of all the interview tips is to come dressed professionally. My tip? Dress like you already have the job. What I mean by that is actually going to the company’s website and having a look at their employee pictures. Most companies have those, and you can see what kind of clothes they’re wearing.

If they don’t have those, then go with the tried and true interview uniform:

Black or navy slacks
White blouse or button-down
A structured blazer
Pointed-toe pumps or ballet flats
Structured bag

You can never go wrong with this professional attire.

Do Your Homework.

The easiest way to show your interviewer that you are keen on getting the position you are interviewing for is to know about the company. Go on their website or social media account and really read up about them.

Write down their mission statement along with any cool information you find out about the company. At the interview, when asked, “So, why do you want to work here?”, use something you found out about them earlier in your answer! This is the easiest way to impress your interviewer.

Be Friendly.

This completely goes without saying, but be friendly. Have a smile throughout the interview as it makes you look approachable. Friendliness goes a long way at interviews. Interviewers are more likely to hire someone who is easy to talk to and approachable than someone who looks super serious and stern. Unless, of course, the job you are interviewing for is one which needs that kind of a look.

Be Confident.

Along with being friendly, show the interviewer that you are also confident in your skills. If you’re not somebody who is naturally confident, practice saying your answers out loud at home or with a friend. Doing that will get you ready and eliminate the unnecessary umms that might come when you’re unprepared.

Also, try to remember that the interviewer will probably make you feel as comfortable as can be. They usually know that people get nervous during an interview, so don’t sweat it if you get a little nervous.

Don’t Lie On Your Resume.

One of the biggest interview tips I have is to be truthful on your resume. Trying to seem like you know it all and including things that aren’t true on your resume are going to get you in trouble. Don’t do it. If you can’t speak French, don’t have it as one of the languages you’re fluent in. Imagine how embarrassed you will be when the interviewer starts speaking to you in French.

Clean Up Your Social Media.

Something a lot of interviewers and HR personnel do these days is looking people up on social media. It’s a good idea to either clean up any pictures you wouldn’t want your future employer looking at, or setting your accounts as private.

The thing to remember here is that you will, hopefully, be representing the company. Most employers probably won’t want someone working for them who post inappropriate content online.

Ask Questions.

At the end of the interview, you will probably be asked if you have any questions for the interviewer. This is a good chance for you to find out additional information about the job, as well as the working environment.

Some good questions to ask are:

What’s your favorite thing about working here?
What does a typical day look like here?
What do you think are some qualities which will make a person excel in this role?
What are the expectations of someone working in this role?

Which of these tips resonate with you?
What other interview tips do you have yo share with others? Do share them in the comment box below.

In Inspiration September 14, 2021 By Women of Rubies

#GettalkingwithEsther | Dedoyin Ajayi: How To Live An Wholesome Life

On September 11th, Esther Ijewere hosted Psychotherapist and Mental Health Advocate; Dedoyin Ajayi on her famous Tweet chat session #GettalkingwithEsther, and they discussed how to live an wholesome life.

The Psychotherapist did not only share the importance of protecting our Mental Health, but she also gave insight on what Therapy looks like, and why we all need to slam the brake sometimes and do what’s best for our emotional wellbeing.

See summary of the tweet chat below. You can also read more about Dedoyin, and her work as a mental health advocate and Psychotherapist Here

In Editor's Choice September 4, 2021 By Women of Rubies

“Surround Yourself With People Who Genuinely Love And Validate You”- Dedoyin Ajayi

Mental Health is often misunderstood, especially by those who have never suffered from it. It is not well prioritized in our society as people are not well informed on what Mental Health actually looks like. Dedoyin Ajayi is changing that narrative.

The psychotherapist with a specialty in Emotional Health and a diploma in Professional Counselling is using her social media platforms to advocate and educate the society on Mental Health.

She’s also a certified Neuro-linguistic practitioner from the Academy of Modern and Applied Psychology. Dedoyin has a thriving counseling practice with an average of thirty hours per week, vested into both virtual and physical counselling sessions. She currently serves in the capacity of a consultant therapist three organizations, and specializes in helping individuals with suicide ideations, depression, childhood trauma, existential crises, and personality disorders.

She shares her inspiring journey exclusively with Esther Ijewere in this educative and insightful interview

Childhood Influence

It started when I was 7 years old. I remember that I’d fantasize about having an office where people came to cry. I’d give them a handkerchief and calm them down. As soon as they felt calm, they’d go outside and pay my secretary. I never quite understood the picture my imagination was painting, but I knew it was my very first inclination towards preparing me for my present career path

Why I pitched my tent in the Mental Health sector

As a child, I had a profoundly small stature and I was bullied a lot because of this. It created a deep seated low self esteem that led to feelings of bitterness, resentment and inadequacy. I recall that I badly wanted to talk to somebody that wasn’t family. I knew something was terribly wrong and I needed help. I however didn’t know who to turn to. This helpless feeling drove me to a decision: being that person for other people. I wanted to be able to have the listening ears I didn’t have. This led to a voracious research about the mental health sector. My findings were very discouraging at the time, seeing as therapy wasn’t widely accepted and in some cases, even still being stigmatized. I however couldn’t deny the deep longing within me, to tread this path and here I am.

Being a psychotherapist, Neuro-linguistic practitioner, consultant and staying grounded

To be very honest, I’m not yet proud of how I manage it. Thankfully I have a wonderful support system in my husband and a few close friends who are to it that I rest and take my structured breaks. Sometimes I go through mental burn-outs but these episodes are becoming few and far between. I’m however learning to really prioritize my own mental needs as well.

My Mental Health advocacy on social media, and its impact so far

I became an active mental health advocate in 2018. This stemmed from a discovery I made, which was the fact that the Nigerian mental health community was grossly under-represented on social media. We have a few people doing great things but there was a huge content and information sparsity that needed to be addressed. It’s why I decided to become a voice of mental health for the Nigerian community. As for impact, the response was very discouraging at first, but I continued. The past one year has however been explosive. The feedback has been wild to say the least. I’ve had people sending me DMs, telling me how a post I made was specifically for them and this spurred them to book a session. Little by little, the stigmatization surrounding mental health is thinning out. The narrative is changing! I’m super excited.

Why the Government should support the Mental Health

First and foremost, it’s no news that the government has been very laid back about the mental health sector, especially considering the fact that an average Nigerian today, has a pertinent issue bothering them. The need for structured emotional support cannot be overemphasized. I’d suggest that the government looks into building Walk-In Therapy Centres just the same way we have clinics. This would enable people to readily have access to subsidized mental health care. There should also be a massive Nationwide awareness sponsored by the government, with the aim of sensitizing people about their mental health. The more conversations we have about the mental health sector, the more growth we would experience as a country.

Challenges of my work

The primary challenge is stigmatization. A lot of people reach out to tell me about friends or family members they’d love to recommend therapy to, but would never be open to the idea of speaking to a “shrink” after all they are not mad.

Another issue is social support. While receiving mental health care, it is imperative that the patient has an effective support system which would further facilitate their recovery. Imagine having to go to work during a depressive phase because your boss doesn’t believe that depression is a valid reason to be exempt from work! This needs to change. All hands must be on deck to help rewrite the narrative about mental illness being a sign of laziness or cowardice.

Other projects and activities

Presently, I co-founded a mental health awareness initiative themed HEART CAFE with Olamide Ogidan-Odeseye (@larmmy). It’s a weekly meeting that is held on Twitter every Friday, where people come to unburden, network and most importantly receive psycho-educational tips that keep them up to speed about mental health. I also run a YouTube channel (Thededoyinajayi), where I get to talk about mental health issues as well as conversations surrounding relationships and lifestyle.

What I enjoy most about my job

The fulfillment that comes with seeing a client recover! Most especially suicidal clients. There’s nothing quite like it. I’d literally be grinning from ear to ear in gratitude and satisfaction.

3 women who inspire me and why

One of my major inspirations is Dr. Thema Bryant; a clinical psychologist practicing in the USA. She’s someone whose consistency serves as a major motivation.

Another woman who inspires me is Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala. It’s her self confidence for me. The very fact that she’s able to rock her traditional attires in foreign or westernized settings is a reflection of her healthy self perception and the strength of her persona.

The third woman is Rinu Oduala (Savvy Rinu). She displayed a unique and uncanny strength during the whole #endsars campaign, and her intelligence is phenomenal. These three women are most definitely huge sources of inspiration to me.

When a person should seek therapy

Asides mainstream mental health issues like clinical depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and so on, therapy should be sought the moment you notice any alteration in the default emotional state. Feelings of deep sadness, incessant worrying, loss of concentration at work, relationship issues, abuse of any kind, frequent change in moods, loss of interest in activities as well as a deep gut feeling that something is wrong. The truth is ANYONE can come for therapy. Even if it’s for a holistic checkup. We all could do with emotional support systems.

Nuggets on how to stay mentally and emotionally balanced

To stay mentally and emotionally balanced, the very first step is SELF AWARENESS. You can’t manage what you don’t understand. Afterwards, it’s important to be intentional about taking mental recuperative breaks. It’s a form of self-care. Going for walks, swimming, taking dance/ music lessons, exercising and so on can serve as activities you can engage in during a mental recuperative break. Another vital thing is to filter through your relationships. Humans play a major role in our mental well-being. Surround yourself with people who genuinely love and validate you. Above all, never hesitate to seek help. Very important.

Being a Woman of Rubies

My implicit faith in humanity. I strongly believe that if we have a love-themed world, everything would be more colorful and beautiful. The fact that I choose to heal the world one heart at a time, makes me a Woman of Rubies.

***Dedoyin Ajayi can be reached on social media : @thededoyinajayi on IG, @dedoyinajayi on Twitter. A detailed overview on the services she renders are on dedoyinajayi.com

In Inspiration August 30, 2021 By Women of Rubies

Women Entrepreneurs Face More Rejection In Gaining Access To Capital Than Men’ – Kennie Akinyemi-Okomah

Kennie Akinyemi-Okomah is the founder of Change Agents, a non-profit organisation and philanthropists group, with a mandate to affect the world positively and empowering the less privileged. A passionate leader, with a long track record of successful management, she had an MBA in Finance from the University of North Alabama, USA. She has been in the oil and gas industry for almost 18 years and currently a Stocks and Equity leader. She is also the CEO of Temnnys Foods with its headquarters in Southern California USA, and branches in Lagos and Abuja. In this interview with Maria Diamond, Akinyemi-Okomah, who grew up in Lagos and hails from Ayedun Ekiti, spoke on the need to empower the less privileged, especially the girl child, single mums, orphans and unemployed graduates. She also talked about the challenges of being a female entrepreneur in Nigeria.

Tell us about Change Agents, what exactly is the thrust of the NGO?
We are a non-profit organisation with the goal of touching lives positively, starting from our immediate environment. We reach out to the unreached people, giving hope to the less privileged and sharing love. We empower people by enhancing their skills and provide business grants to business owners and starters, so that they can stand on their feet. It’s my way of giving back to society.

When was the NGO founded and who are your targeted audiences?
The organisation started in March 2016 and our our target audience are the less privileged, single mums, the girl child, anyone who needs help generally; be it emotional, spiritual, mental and even financial.

How much have you been able to achieve so far?
Quite a number of people have benefited from our NGO, both individuals and orphanages. Most recently, we visited the Maryland Orphanage Home in Gwagwalada, Abuja; we took relief materials to the orphans and had a time of fellowship with them. It was quite an inspiring one for us, seeing the lives God has rescued. We are not oblivious of the fact that it could have been any of us in such a situation. We have also empowered some ladies recently to start up their businesses; especially those whose husbands have left them and cannot meet their basic needs. We have also empowered unemployed graduates to start up businesses.

How do you follow up on beneficiaries to ensure they stay empowered?
We follow up on beneficiaries by supplying funds in phases at various levels as they start up. This is to ensure that they stay empowered for financial needs and avoid careless spending. We constantly check on other beneficiaries to know how they are doing and see where we can come in. We ensure to keep them active around us, especially on social platforms, and in case of any withdrawal, we quickly check to know what is wrong.

Considering how Change Agents is a non-profit organisation, how do you raise funds to execute your projects?
We don’t raise funds. This is one of the ways I give back and God has been faithful.

Having spent 18-year in the oil and gas sector, what prompted a diversion into food entrepreneurship?
The goal is to eventually be an entrepreneur full time. However, I chose food because it is a basic need of man. Truth is, under whatever circumstance, good or bad, people would eat and always eat. We can resist buying new clothes, electronics, etc, but it would be hard to resist hunger; knowing this reality prompted my switch into food entrepreneurship.

I have a great concern for Nigerians and their plights as it relates to high unemployment rate. This is an opportunity for me to actualise creating jobs thereby empowering Nigerians.

Tell us about Temnnys Foods, what kinds of food do you offer?
Temnnys Foods is a snack and beverage company with headquartered in Southern California. The idea is to make tasteful snacks and beverages that are non-GMO (Genetically Modified Organisms) and gluten-free.

Do you have outlet in Nigeria at the moment?
All work is in progress to ensure we have a very successful launch in Lagos. The grand opening and launch party of the Temnnys Foods Lagos will take place on July 10, 2021, at Imperial Hall, Alausa Secretariat Ikeja.

As a woman in business, what is your biggest challenge?
I would have to say gaining access to capital for entrepreneurial endeavors is one of the top challenges for women in business. To have an idea is great, but accessing funding to implement is probably the biggest challenge you will face, especially, as a woman entrepreneur. It is difficult to pitch your idea and not get questioned in a way a man would never be. This is one of the biggest challenges that women entrepreneurs face; they encounter more rejection than men.

Sometimes they might be judged for the way they look, or for the way they dress. However, the key is to believe in your idea, work twice as hard to eradicate loopholes. This will make it difficult for ‘No.’

How do you manage your businesses in the USA and here in Nigeria?
This is where we get to appreciate the beauty of technology where the world is connected as a small village. We have a very competent work force that oversees the operations in Nigeria and reports back to me on a daily base; they are goal and result oriented. However, the idea is also to frequent Nigeria as much as possible.

Source: Guardian

In Editor's Choice July 31, 2021 By Women of Rubies

“I Launched Alora Reusable Pads To Address Period Poverty” – Sarah Kuponiyi

Sarah Kuponiyi is a passionate youth leader whose work cuts across gender equality and sexual reproductive health. She is also a 2019 nominee for 120 under 40 New Generation of Family Planning Leaders, recipient of Sustainable Solutions Africa 30 under 30 2019 and Cohort 15 Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI) emerging Leaders Program West Africa.

The founder of A Well-Informed Adolescent (AWA) Initiative, an organisation where she leads the team in creating and managing Safe Spaces that ensure young people can achieve their potential by enabling them access to essential services. She recently launched Alora Reusable Pads, a social enterprise to address period poverty by creating eco-friendly menstrual hygiene products freely distributed to in school and vulnerable girls and sold at affordable prices to the public. As a Beijing +25 Eagle (women advocate) for UN Women Nigeria, she uses her skills to advocate for upholding of human rights for sexual and reproductive health as the key to ensuring that women and girls can be equal and free to make decisions in all spheres of their lives, without discrimination, violence, or coercion, and with the assurance of their dignity upheld.

She shares her inspiring journey, her passion for development work, and endorsement of different Government parastatals in this interview with Esther Ijewere.

Childhood Influence

No, I don’t think my childhood prepared me in any way for what I do now but I can say it’s part of what inspired me or should I say it is one of my why(s) in doing what I do now. Growing up, it was awesome experience, had a lovely family, hardworking and sacrificial parents. Life itself was not so smooth not so rough; it was a beautiful as well as hard a journey. Becoming an adolescent I realized I was a lone ranger hardly had friends, there were issues around self-identification and family challenges I had no one to share with, my parents were not available for those kind of talks and I always bottled them in. I was at the receiving end of my parent’s emotional breakdown when they separated and there were days I felt like running away, if there were safe spaces then that I could trust and go to it would have been helpful but I sucked it all in same with my siblings but in all right now I look back at my teenage self and I can say I am proud of that girl, the woman I have become is proud of the young teenage girl I was, she survived the lassitude of life, rode the rough waves graciously and got ashore unscathed, like not all adolescents could have been strong enough to to pull through without losing hope or sight of the goal.

So what I do now is to provide safe space services I couldn’t get at my time for adolescents and young people alike so as to enable them share their challenges, give a listening ears to them, let them know being stuck in the dark is not forever for those going through challenges and provide them tools and resources they need to make informed choices about their life, health, career etc so that they can transit to healthy adults without letting the light of their mind go dim even as the voyage on life’s journey.

Inspiration behind “A.W.A”

So what I went through growing up like I explained earlier inspired me to start A Well-Informed Adolescent (AWA) Initiative, which started as a community based project in 2018 to provide adolescents in rural communities an inspiration to live beyond their present definition, to aim high and think big and not let their background define them. Like the name of the organization, I am eager to have adolescents, who are well-Informed about the stage of life they are in, help them answer all the burning existential questions they have about their life, their overall health, their career, provide them guidance and tools they need to make informed choices by themselves. We achieved this through use of Multisectoral programs that link health to education, recreational activities, skills acquisition, youth club activities, school-based campaign, safe space services, advocacy and peer health education. Over the years the organization has grown to be more encompassing we also work to reduce gender based violence by educating women and young people about harmful gender norms and practices that contribute to Gender Based Violence in our society. We address issues around sexual violence; educate women and young people about their sexual reproductive health and rights. We provide parenting support programs, school-based dating violence prevention programs, & community based interventions to build equitable gender norms & attitudes in boys & girls. We provide sustainable livelihood programs for young women and girls through economic skill training and acquisition program. Nonetheless our primary core focus still remain investing appropriately in the health and development of young people and we continued to strive towards improving the health and development of this unique population sub-group

Inspiration behind Alora reusable pad

As a younger girl who stayed with her father, I could not afford to buy sanitary pads for myself due to how pads were unaffordable for someone like me, neither was I able to ask him for such due to culture of shyness and silence. Likewise, working on school health outreaches made me realized this situation has not change and the Story is what cut across all region of the country; Nigeria is one of the countries that place a heavy tax on menstrual products. Without access to proper menstrual products, many girls miss classes and older women are unable to attend work A pack of sanitary pads cost an average of $1.30, even as an estimated 44% of Nigeria’s population (87 Million people) lives in extreme poverty earning less than $1.90 per day, women and girls may delay urination and defecation but it is not possible to stop menstrual flow. The lack of affordable sanitary products also exacerbates anxiety and stress during menstruation and increases their vulnerability to gender based violence and sexually transmitted infections. Alora Reusable Pads was created to solve Period Poverty by producing and selling eco-friendly reusable menstrual hygiene products from specialized fabrics that are comfortable to the skin, hygienic, and affordable. Alora Reusable Pads are made for every woman and girl. It is affordable, easy to use, comfortable and available in three sizes with varying thickness to fit every woman at all times. It is made of several layers of absorbent fabrics including cotton and water proof fabrics and it has numerous benefits such as saves you money, very economical, environmentally friendly, safer for the body, fashionably feminine and very affordable.

The reception since we launched

Wow, the reception has been awesome. We have received considerable acceptance in the development space and government parastatas because it is a sustainable way of solving period poverty but for individuals we realized there is need to do more awareness creation on reusable pads in Nigeria, it is still a new niche and awareness about this would help influence mind shift and behavioral change which help increase acceptance. Notably to note is our Alora Pads has been purchased by the following;

Cross River State Ministry of Women Affairs purchased Alora Pads for its UNFPA funded dignity packs distribution project in Cross River State.
Ekiti State Governor’s wife Her Excellency Erelu Bisi Fayemi purchased Alora Pads for her Keep Girls in School Project for world menstrual hygiene day 2021
NGO in Adamawa KPANG SURRI Foundation purchased Alora pads to commemorate World Menstrual Hygiene Day
NGOs in Calabar Gender and Development Actions (GADA) and A Well Informed Adolescent (AWA) Initiative Purchased Alora Pads to commemorate World Menstrual Hygiene Day 2021
Alora Reusable Pads was invited by Federal Ministry of Women Affairs Abuja, Dame Pauline Tallen in commemorating World Menstrual Hygiene Day 2021 at the Ministry Complex in Abuja.
Official presentation of Alora Reusable pads to United Nation Population Funds (UNFPA) Calabar Sub office
Discussion on period poverty on HitfmCalabar with Abenmire Ade where we shared sustainable solutions to addressing this menace; one of which is Alora Reusable Pad
We are so excited as our founder and team lead got profiled by US Mission to African Union on the celebration of International women’s day 2021.
Gate Way Excel Collage Otupka Benue State purchase alora pads for their gate way pad up project
Alora reusable pads was endorsed by the UN Women Nigeria.

Being a certified adolescent sexual health professional, running my organisation, volunteering for several international organisations, and managing it all

(Smile) well, let me honest not easy, reward of hard work is more work but because all I do is what I am passionate I enjoy it and I give it my best, I prioritize my schedules and deliverables, I have calendars and to do list, I set reminders, I delegate where necessary and most importantly I work with awesome amiable teams both at AWA Initiative and with Alora Pads. Our board of trustees, staff, volunteers and supporters are all amazing.

Challenges of my work

Time consuming, Mentally stressing -My life is all about work with little or no time for other things of life but lately I am making conscious effort to live a balance life.

Challenges involves in handling Gender based violence prevention at the grassroot or community is having to contend with community gate keepers and community strong holds (laugh) let me not go there while for young people it just a matter of them trusting you enough and the work becomes easier.

Other Projects and activities

We have done various projects and here are some of them

A Well-Informed Adolescent Campaign 2018
A Well-Informed Adolescent Campaign 2019
A Well-Informed Adolescent Campaign 2020
A Well-Informed Adolescent Campaign 2021
Women Voice Leadership Project in partnership with Child Care and Adult Protection (CCAPI) and Action Aid Nigeria funded by Global Affairs Canada
UNESCO/Society for Family Health Spotlight Initiative potlight Initiative Project Activity 4.2.4 which is aimed at ”Strengthening the capacity of youth network (Civil Society Organisation) to carry our peer education and support young people to access Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE) and SRHR services” in Cross River State

Here are the Programs we run at A Well-Informed Adolescent (AWA) Initiative

Tackling Gender Based Violence; A weekly program that offers crucial approach to poverty reduction, economic development and a key to protect sexual and reproductive health and rights.
Friday Talk Date: In this event we provide adequate age appropriate comprehensive sexuality education to adolescents at the youth resource center
Safe Space Activities: We provide youth friendly services that cater for the overall development of young people
Health Programs
Livelihood Programs

3 women who inspire me to be better and why

I have plenty women ooo but since you asked for 3 here are they

Dr. Yolanda N George-David also known as auntlanda, I met her while I was still in secondary school through a radio program tag “Sharing Life Issues” wow she inspires me to do better because despite her own life issues that she could use as a legit excuse to just remain in her corner yet she leaves everything to give her all to total strangers, mehn its wow. And she first exemplified this bible verse “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” to me mehn Mama has plenty PhDs in Neurology, Obstetrics and gynecology, psychologist etc an OAP, a wife, mother, farmer, business mogul, caterers etc she literally made me believe I could be anything I set my mind on and work towards.
Mrs Emilia Eyo-Effa, I met her while working at my first NGO work ever she was the Gender Specialist, currently now works with USAID, seeing her transition from jobs to jobs gives me hope that I can achieve my career dreams in the development sector, all I need to do is work hard and be consistent. She also an amiable supporter of our organization, she is one of our astute board of trustees who always open her arms and doors for me, to advises me using her wealth of professional experience I am so glad to be in her circle and to have as a board of trustee for AWA Initiative.
Michelle Obama, reading her book titled “Becoming” gave me a glimpse to her life, her roots, how she came of age, her family, her life as the first lady. Reading about her triumph and disappointment made me realized I am a work in progress I have not arrived or gotten to my final destination and that in every of my life phase I keep working, keep learning, keep living and keep becoming the better version of myself always.

To young women

Self Identifcation, Self-worth, Self-value. I would tell them to work on themselves first, evolve or commence their journey of becoming before getting entangled, and I would tell them to be strong and not lose sight of their goals not be distracted by society but rather press on and be the best version of themselves that they could be.

Future of Alora Reusable Pad

At Alora Reusable Pads our vision is A World without Period Poverty, were every woman and girl can have their period with dignity. Our Mission: To be a leading producer of affordable, eco-friendly, comfortable reusable pads in West Africa and to address period poverty through distribution of reusable pads and provision of menstrual health and hygiene management programs. We hope to reduce poor menstrual hygiene by 30% in Nigeria (and Africa) by 2025.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I am a Woman of Rubies because contribute to developing my communities; I empower women and girls to become change agents.

Awards and Recognition

National Gender Youth Activist for United Nations Women HQ, Beijing eagle (Women advocate) for United Nations Women Nigeria. A 2019 nominee for 120 under 40 New Generation of Family Planning Leaders, recipient of Sustainable Solutions Africa 30 under 30 2019 and Cohort 15 Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI) RLC emerging Leaders Program West Africa. Immediate past Deputy Coordinator YALI Network Cross River State, She is part of the Cross River CSO Gender Responsive Budgeting Monitoring Group, Cross River State CSOs Network, and Cross River State GBV/SRHR Network respectively among others.

In Career Gems July 15, 2021 By Women of Rubies

Damilola Olokesusi Is Making Commuting Easy With Shuttlers

Damilola Olokesusi is impacting lives by making commuting a productive part of one’s day. It is no wonder she was included in the 2019 Forbes Africa’s 30 Under 30 list in the technology category.

Damilola Olokesusi is Co-founder and Chief Executive Officer of Shuttlers, Nigeria’s leading, scheduled ride-sharing platform that allows professionals to access comfortable, safe, and affordable transportation in Lagos whilst providing learning and networking opportunities. Shuttlers recently launched SHE-MOVES, (Strengthen Her: Mobilizing Ventures for Social Innovation) an initiative designed to provide Whole-Person Leadership development. The initiative is supported by the Ford Motor Company Fund and Ford Motor Company in partnership with Global Water Challenge (GWC).

4 Signs of Emotional Exhaustion And How To Deal With Them

The signs of emotional exhaustion are hidden in your emotional expression, and they show through your mood and the way you react and manage your emotions.

When lacking self-awareness, the most efficient way to identify the signs of emotional exhaustion is to seek professional support or ask your loved ones to have a closer look at your behavior, your reactions—like body posture, facial movements (micro-expression), and verbal or non-verbal expressions.

I know, it is not easy to share such personal feelings and weaknesses with others. But one thing that we must understand is that we are all interconnected, and our personal growth is dependent on communication and interrelation with the people around us. And that applies especially when things go wrong.

If you don’t open to your closest, how can you nurture your positive emotions and express positive qualities and virtues to others?

Self-awareness detects emotional exhaustion. As a meditation teacher, it is my daily business to analyze, study, and share my opinions about emotions. The meditation as the fundamental element of reviving the self-awareness can help to manage this whole subject matter.

1. You Feel Tired Very Quickly and Very Often (Physical Exhaustion).

It is nothing but natural to become physically exhausted after performing physical activity. After a rest, the body recovers, recharges strength, and replenishes energy. Usually, in this condition, you have the stamina and the resilience to absorb many of the below-mentioned signs. But once the physical exhaustion becomes chronic, the body cannot replenish its energy that easily. That’s when you will feel fatigued.

2. You Lose Interest in Engaging in Daily Activities.

Chronic tiredness results in a mood that expresses demotivation, idleness, annoyance, and frustration. These are signs of emotional exhaustion—showing no motivation, no vitality for engaging in or exploring new things in life.

3. You Feel Less Tolerant in Your (Long-Term) Relationships.

The signs of constant boredom and annoyance are linked to a behavioral tendency showing indifference that makes you less tolerant in your relationships. The signs mentioned above breed impatience, which quickly creates anger, envy, and even hatred, where even more frustration arises by the fact of not being able to manage relationships on any level.

4. You Feel Insecure, Incapable, and Unworthy.

The need for isolation arises and you reach a mood where you feel insecure. Doubtful and anxious, you begin to question your capabilities and your self-esteem sinks lower and lower. The cocktail of these feelings and moods creates so much confusion, resentment, and sadness up to a point of complete emotional exhaustion—a state of burn-out.

This process of emotional irritation and imbalance happens rather unexpectedly. Without notice, despair crawls deep into the psyche exhausting all vitality and all creativity.

How to Prevent or Get Over This Exhaustion?

Apart from the different techniques to overcome mental exhaustion, there is one organic way to recover from emotional exhaustion: Meditation.

Prevent the development of emotions—in other words, learn to identify the emotion before it arises and cut its process of evolvement.

For example, the feeling of boredom leads to annoyance, and that leads to rejection, irritation, frustration, and so on.

Once a negative thought arises and creates a destructive feeling, it is a sign that negative emotion is about to erupt. The idea here is to disrupt the creation of this process and exchange it with a constructive mental and physical activity.

This can be done only in a meditative state of being—in a state of inner observation—watching the thoughts.

Breathing exercises can help you reach that state.

As emotions are the result of the unconscious repetition and acknowledgment of feelings that are supported by the constant creation of thoughts, it is imperative to understand that the root cause of emotional exhaustion is found in the creation of these thoughts.

The meditative state of being can slow down this process and then give a clear picture of what is going on deep inside of us and find the root cause of the problem and the solution for it.

Final Thoughts

One thing worth remembering is that no human being is spared from the turmoil of emotions. You, me, and everyone else suffer and enjoy the effect of the emotions that we create for ourselves.

The above technique sheds light on how you can identify, understand, and move through the whole spectrum of emotions to get over the emotional exhaustion and achieve emotional balance. This way, you can safely experience being the victim as well as the beneficiary of your various emotions.

Hence, it is inevitable to look into how emotions work and how to approach them. The techniques on how to get over emotional exhaustion carry the idea of initiation into emotional self-education.

Know that emotions are there to be analyzed and understood, not only to be enjoyed or avoided. Embrace them, handle them, and don’t get lost in them.

In self development May 16, 2021 By Women of Rubies

#MondayMotivation: Tips to Getting Motivated at Work

Getting motivated at work is often easier said than done. Sure, you might have the best intentions, but then three hours have passed and you’ve accomplished nothing.

Motivation can be fleeting, but there are workarounds for when you’re feeling like taking a nap rather than knocking out your to do list.

Natural motivation comes and goes–but with a few good tips, you can make getting motivated a consistent practice so that you never find yourself feeling stuck in the no-motivation zone.

So what causes lack of motivation at work–and what can you do to overcome it?

What is lack of motivation and what causes it?

Lack of motivation typically manifests itself with physical and mental symptoms: Feeling tired, exhausted, and having poor concentration or focus.

The French word for this is ennui, which means a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction that comes from a lack of interest or excitement.

When people lack motivation at work, they often they have a hard time completing tasks, miss deadlines, and withdraw from group activity, becoming very quiet and disengaged.

What causes a lack of motivation?

The sources for this problem are vast, but can be linked to things like:

1. No opportunity for advancement or development.

When a job feels like a dead end, it’s hard to get motivated to do your best work and keep pushing forward.

2. Lack of direction within a role.

Those who are trying to figure out what exactly they’re supposed to be doing within their job often find themselves spinning their wheels. Make sure you have a detailed job description, clear objectives, and benchmarks in place so you can get motivated to meet them.

3. Burnout.

If you’re working too hard, too long, and on too many things, you’re probably feeling unmotivated and burnt out. This stressful behavior can zap your productivity and lead to resentment toward your daily work.

4. Lack of a leadership at work.

If your boss isn’t leading at work, it’s probably hard to get excited and motivated about projects–and this may be a chronic flaw within the organization.

5. Feeling unvalued.

If you feel unappreciated and like you’re not a valuable part of the team, you’re probably not motivated to contribute and do your best work. It may be time to have a frank discussion about how your company can be better about celebrating wins and acknowledging process and success.

6. Conflict with team members.

Drama at work is distracting, demoralizing, and makes it hard to concentrate on actual work-related tasks. If you’re dealing with conflict at work, take the issue to your supervisor and have a mediator help resolve the issue so you can both move past it.

7. Personal issues.

Sometimes life gets in the way of work–there’s no way around it. From marital issues to family health and everything in between, life just happens. Therapy, time off, and transparency with your boss can help you get through it a little bit more quickly.

Tips for getting motivated at work.

So what can you do to become more motivated at work?

Here are a few ideas, plus insights from real people who’ve found them effective and scientific research on why they work so well.

Change your scenery.

Sometimes you just need a change of scenery to reset your brain and spur some motivation. Talk a walk (or a full mental health day) to take in some fresh scenery and practice mindfulness.

As you take your walk, consider going to a quiet area in nature, walking in a green or tree-filled area (rather than an urban or residential area) has significant health benefits. Forest walking reduces heart rate and significantly decreases depression, fatigue, anxiety, and confusion.

Other people recommend simply changing your work setting and escaping your traditional work environment to mix things up. Using a cafe, co-working space, or restaurant as a mobile office may help spur productivity.

Create a routine.

Achieving a state of flow at work is no easy task, but building a consistent routine is one way to simplify the process. By implementing regular tactics like time batching, a productivity system, or even listening to the right music regularly, you can get into motivated work mode a bit more easily.

Don’t overload your schedule.

Putting too much on your to-do list is a great way to kill motivation, as it leads to overwhelm and decision paralysis.

If you feel like there’s too much to do, consider prioritizing the most important tasks, delegating where you can, and speaking with your supervisor to look for other solutions to the problem.

Make sure you have down time in your schedule as well, as this will help provide a short mental rest that keeps you from overloading yourself.

Get organized.

Another way to spur motivation is to start with a clean slate and a well-organized plan of action.

Clean up your workspace and computer screen, create a new (prioritized) to-do list, and let the clarity this provides lead the way.

Get a good night’s sleep.

It’s hard to get motivated at work when you can barely keep your eyes open. Good sleep is essential for focus, so be sure that you’re getting six to eight hours of rest per night.

This might mean establishing a sleep routine and putting down the devices a bit earlier in the evening, but the mental recharge this provides will be well worth the adjustment.

“Being chronically tired to the point of fatigue or exhaustion means that we are less likely to perform well. Neurons do not fire optimally, muscles are not rested, and the body’s organ systems are not synchronized. Lapses in focus from sleep deprivation can even result in accidents or injury.”

Establish a support network/accountability partner.

If you’re struggling to stay on-task and motivated on projects, consider getting an accountability partner, a mentor, or a general support network who can help you stay on track. Having to report to someone else will give you more reason to get motivated, and these people can serve as your cheerleaders along the way, encouraging you to keep going.

If you’re struggling to find someone for this role, consider looking to online forums, social networks, and contacts within your virtual network. Your partner doesn’t have to be someone you see day to day, but it should be someone you feel comfortable checking in with regularly (even if it’s only through phone or video conversations.)

Final Thoughts.

Get motivated to work, get more done
Now that you know some of the causes for a lack of motivation at work and some handy tips for overcoming those days when you don’t feel like doing anything, the only thing left to do is to test some out. Try a few different tactics and see what works best at getting you back to your high-functioning self.

In Inspiration April 5, 2022 By Women of Rubies

Small Victories: 4 Reasons To Celebrate Small Wins

Are you looking for ways to cultivate more motivation, engagement, or life satisfaction? Celebrating the small victories consistently could be the energy boost you need!

What Is a “Small Win?”

First, let’s establish what a “small win” is. Small wins are anything you accomplish that aligns with your intentions. They can be related to work, personal or professional relationships, habit changes, and basically every aspect of your life. Small wins can be easy to gloss over, especially if you’ve been raised on a diet of self-criticism and perfectionism.

Here’s an example. Let’s say that you intend to be less judgmental of others. A small victory might simply be noticing when you start to think something judgmental about how someone else says the word “milk.” Even though the thought still popped into your head when they pronounced it “melk” or “meek” you at least noticed yourself in the thought.

Paying attention to your thoughts opens the door for you to question why everyone must pronounce words the same way. Maybe you’re the one saying it wrong? This is awareness. And as they say, awareness is the key to successful life changes.

Why Small Wins?

Instead of celebrating small victories, why not just wait for the big victories to sweep you to happiness?

Imagine that your phone rings and you answer it. And the person at the other end of the phone yells “Congratulations! You have just won 1 million dollars!” How would it feel to celebrate a big win like that? You’re doing a happy dance in your mind, aren’t you?

Surely, with that sum of money, you would not only feel motivated and engaged, but you’d also have everlasting happiness and fulfillment, right? According to research, people who win large sums of money are more satisfied with the quality of their lives overall. However, they don’t experience more day-to-day happiness than anyone else. So much for big wins.

In fact, the internet is already abuzz with articles that extol the virtues of celebrating the small stuff. But happiness is only one of the dozens of reasons you should celebrate routinely.

The reasons for celebrating small can be broken down into 4 main categories:

Energy
Personal/Professional Growth
Love
Happiness

1. Energy

When energy is low, it can be challenging to accomplish anything. Try as you might to set goals, without energy, it’s understandable why the couch would have so much more magnetic pull than the treadmill. When you celebrate your small victories, you will give yourself little hits of energy that will add up over time.

Try it right now for yourself. Think of something small you achieved today. Maybe you took out the garbage even though it was really cold outside, you’re extremely tired, and you didn’t want to.

Or maybe you’re celebrating choosing healthy smoothie over fizzy drinks or soda in the afternoon. How does it feel to congratulate yourself? What does your body experience when you point out the little win to yourself?

Over time, you’ll notice that the little celebrations inject you with boosts of energy that will accumulate. Although you probably will still hate taking out the trash, you’ll at least have the energy to do it.

Once you start experiencing more energy, you might notice feeling more motivated to accomplish all those items—large and small—on your “to do” list. This becomes a positive feedback loop. You accomplish something, celebrate, increase your energy to accomplish more, and repeat. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that celebrating the small victories leads you to accomplish even bigger ones.

The opposite is also true. When you don’t accomplish the little things, imagine how much more challenging it will be to chip away at the big ones. Now that we have looked at this from two angles, let’s celebrate your ability to shift your perspective on this topic so adeptly. Bravo!

2. Personal/Professional Growth

Acknowledging little wins helps you keep track of how far you’ve come. This is especially helpful when you’re trying to instill a new habit or make a lifestyle change.

Behavioral changes can be some of the biggest challenges we undertake. They can also be the most beneficial when you’re on the path to personal or professional growth and development. It can be easy to fall into the “all or nothing” trap.

For instance, a lot of people feel that if they can’t achieve a behavioral change—like quitting smoking—the first time they try, then they might as well give up.

Positive reinforcement through celebrating small wins helps you get back on track after taking a temporary detour. “I only had 3 cigarettes today” might be the small victory that would lead you to only having 2 tomorrow.

Growth in any area of life is a process. This process requires the use of tools. Celebrating the little things is an intentional tool you’ll want to use when you’re in the process of becoming the person you have been saying you want to be. And good for you for holding that vision for yourself!

3. Self-Love

They say that education is the most important investment you’ll ever make. Imagine if you are trying to get your degree but you self-criticize to the point of having major test anxiety. If you are not loving yourself, it doesn’t matter how much money you throw at your education. You’ll never finish the degree!

Therefore, self-love is the ultimate investment you will ever make. You are the only person you will know for the entirety of your life. When you love yourself unconditionally, you will be able to navigate any life obstacle or storm. Celebrating your little victories is just one of so many ways to take care of yourself.

What do people do when they get married? They celebrate! What do you do on birthdays to show someone you’re happy they were born? You celebrate! Why do we celebrate? Because celebrations demonstrate our love for others. Therefore, when you actively celebrate small victories, you affirm the love you have for yourself.

Celebrating your small victories is a powerful way to demonstrate that you notice how amazing you are. It helps you rely more on your own positive feedback rather than looking to the outside world to tell you what it thinks of you.

Here’s something that nobody ever said: “People-pleasing is the gateway to the Kingdom of Joy.” Stop waiting for other people to tell you how incredibly valuable you are and start acknowledging all your little successes!

As a side benefit, self-love has also been known to lead to better relationships with others. It turns out that when you love yourself, you will show others how you want to be treated.

“Isn’t this just bragging about myself?” you ask. No. It’s showing others that you notice the little things that are going well in your life, which means you’re also apt to notice the little things that are going well in the relationship or others’ lives. Seeing you celebrate your wins can be an invitation for others to celebrate their own wins, too. Pretty soon, you’re surrounded by people celebrating with you and you’re celebrating with others!

4. Happiness

Our quest for happiness is actually not the focus of our lives. Instead, it would be in our best interest to design our lives around finding meaning.

So, why is happiness mentioned in almost every single article about celebrating small wins, including this one? Because it’s what we want. As it turns out, the path to what we want is not a direct one.

Joy, and happiness, are not goals in themselves, but they are the by-product of those moments when we are doing what is really right for us.

Happiness is a by-product! When we are fully engaged in our lives, our confidence runs higher, our actions match our intentions, our love for ourselves grows, and we experience a life filled with meaning. So, if you want to experience happiness, you must find ways to incorporate meaning into your life. Celebrating your little victories can be a catalyst for finding this meaning.

Put another way, if you’re not ready to let go of the pursuit of happiness, try viewing happiness as something you practice. And if you want a proven way to engage with that practice, try celebrating all of your small wins.

Now that you have some reasons to celebrate small, let’s celebrate that you made it to the end of this article. Good for you! By reading this, you invested in yourself. Congratulations.

Now What?

Consider keeping a daily log of your little victories. At the end of the week, you can read everything you celebrated, which will help you experience the accumulation of all the little wins. And if you want to experience an even bigger win, re-read your celebration journal at the end of the year!