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In Career Gems By

“WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR OF SUCCESS, DON’T SHUT IT BEHIND YOU” – TOKE MAKINWA WRITES

Media Personality & Author of the bestseller of “On Becoming“, Toke Makinwa took to her Twitter page this morning to share words of advice to employers who make people work for them for free with the promise of “exposure”. She shared her experience of being made to work for free which made her question her own skill.

Toke asserted that if one has experienced the good fortune of making it through the door, you should make a conscious effort to help that person who is still struggling to make it through.

Read her tweets below:

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LARA POPOOLA: NIGERIANS GET DEPRESSED TOO!

Recently, I have noticed a lot of online and personal conversations about depression among Nigerians. I am glad these conversations are happening because for the longest time, I felt that we cloaked ourselves with a garment of fabricated immunity. Common remarks about how strong and resilient we are as Nigerians, combined with the casual negligence that plagues many facets of our country have contributed largely to the downplay and ignorance of depression as a serious mental illness.

I knew I had to write this article after I attended an event where a comedian joked about a depressed Nigerian man’s failed suicide attempt from the second floor of a building, compared to the American man who went to the 50th floor to show that he was truly depressed, and more serious about killing himself. I thought the joke wasn’t funny, because it highlighted a lack of sensitivity to such a serious issue.  I turned to my friend and said “people actually suffer real depression in Nigeria and every suicide attempt should be taken seriously”. Sadly, my voice of concern was quickly lost in the rapturous laughter from the audience. Perhaps I was too critical – maybe he understood his responsibility as a comedian to use his jokes as a means of underlining the unspoken realities of our society which we would rather shroud in silence. Nevertheless, I am sure that in every joke is a speck of truth which should not be easily dismissed.

That wasn’t the first time I had heard such a blasé comment about the legitimacy of Nigerians suffering depression or feeling suicidal. Statements like “we can’t afford to be depressed o, we are a happy people”, “don’t be like these oyinbo people who are depressed about everything”, “Just snap out of it and be happy”, “you have everything in the world going for you, what is there to be depressed about?”, “you are too young to be depressed”, “there are people going through worse, so just get over it already”. I could go on but I’m sure you get the gist.

I remember being at a gathering with some friends, discussing various life issues, when one of the guys mentioned that he didn’t want any more children because he dreaded a repeat episode of the post natal depression his wife suffered after the birth of their only child.  Out of the blue, someone made an unwitting comment about how it is amazing that women in Nigeria don’t suffer post natal depression because they have untold strength, and are often too consumed with the humdrum of day to day living to be depressed, unlike western women. After all, in the days of our forefathers, women had their babies in the morning, went to the farm in the afternoon and came home to cook for their families in the evening – something along those lines. I didn’t know what to make of such contribution – whether to accept it as a tribute to the supposed strength of Nigerian women, or object to such sentiments which undermine and suppresses the real struggles that many women experience in Nigeria.

I am no mental health expert, but it is a cause worth lending my voice to. I think we’ve had one too many depression related suicide reports in the last couple of months to warrant enlightened conversations and emphasise the following facts:

Depression is a mental illness
Depression as a serious mental health disorder affects a person psychologically, biologically and socially. It causes people to experience depressed mood, loss of interest, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, poor concentration, etc. It is not the same as feeling sad or going through a rough patch – let’s be real, we all go through periods of feeling down. However, a person suffering from depression will often experience intense emotions of anxiety, hopelessness, negativity and helplessness for weeks or months, instead of just a few days. There are different types or subtypes of depression, including: mild depression, major depression, bi-polar depression, post-natal depression and psychotic depression. Find out more here

Depression is not a white man’s disease
There is an unmistakable impression that depression is a white man’s disease and only a luxury that the rich and sophisticated can afford. Feel free to hazard a few guesses on how we arrived at this conclusion, but it simply makes no sense. The factors that increases the likelihood of depression are not culturally or geographically bound. Abuse, genetics, serious illnesses and major events such as the death of a loved one, unemployment, relationship breakdown, retirement and birth of a child are life experiences that cuts across the globe.

Therefore, it is sensible to conclude that depression doesn’t care whether you are white or black, Hausa or Yoruba. It doesn’t discriminate against gender or age, neither does it acknowledge religious beliefs or academic qualifications. To continue believing that it is a western illness will be grossly negligent of us as individuals and as a country. As we note the increasing report of suicides and depression in Nigeria, we must educate ourselves to ensure that we are aware and equipped to provide support.

Nigerian men suffer depression
A woman might have an easier time admitting she’s depressed because she is renowned for her bag of emotions. On the other hand, a man in our incredibly patriarchal society is more likely to put his pride & ego before all else, no matter the cost. Imagine the perceived shame that comes with him admitting he is depressed, and the obtuse remarks from his friends asking him to ‘man-up’ or encouraging him to drink away his sorrows.

3 years ago, I received the message that a friend of mine had lost her dad. I wondered what made a Nigerian man in his mid-fifties with a wife and 3 kids throw himself at oncoming traffic. The same way I wondered about the death of another man I heard about. His wife found him hanging in their living room one afternoon, 6 months after he had lost his job and the death of his 2nd child. She later claimed that her once teetotal, gentle and hardworking husband had suddenly picked up a drinking habit, slept all the time and became very withdrawn. His family claimed their son had been charmed by a business partner. I suspect amongst other things that he might have been a man suffering depression, who lacked the appropriate care and attention needed for his recovery.

So, where do we go from here? Firstly, we must acknowledge that enduring any kind of mental illness is hard enough. Therefore, we must discourage all kinds of stigmatisation, insensitivity and educate ourselves on how to identify and support a family or friend going through depression. Lastly, mental health awareness campaigns and investment in mental health facilities and education will go a long way in addressing and overcoming many of the challenges experienced by mental health patients in Nigeria.

Have you suffered depression or know someone who has? Share your story and educate Women of rubies readers.

Source: Bellanaija

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In #TheMansPointofview By

THE WOMAN’S PERCEPTION OF THE MAN (PART 1)

Men, have you seen them? Of course you have; they are practically everywhere. They have two arms, two legs, one head and basically all the typical features consistent with that of a human being. So what really makes a man, ‘a man’? Is it his role in the family? His position in the society? Or maybe it’s just the anatomical addition of that ‘thing’ that sits between his legs.

The first male figure most women encounter are their fathers. A lot of women don’t know that many of their ideologies about men, first come from their fathers. The second male figure is sometimes their brother(s). During a woman’s formative years, these two characters are responsible for the development of both her foundational perception and psychological comprehension of men. Unfortunately, these men are almost completely oblivious of the ‘power’ they behold. The words that proceed from their mouths, the way and manner in which they show love and care to these women (daughters and sisters) are very strong factors that come together to create a notion of who the man is to a woman.

In our world today, growing girls (future women) are bound to come across two types of early male encounters; the abusive father Vs the loving one, the stubborn brother Vs the kind one, the wayward (male) cousin Vs the level headed one. These men do not know how their actions affect the women around them. They are mostly unaware that their way of life affects the little girl that cohabits in their world. For some of them who rarely take cognizance of this, they are quick to resolve that a young woman, (like Esther, Bisi, Voke) is too small to understand what is going on around her. But Oh! How ignorant can they be!?! How negligent they have now become, expecting these things to wash away with time. I read somewhere that scientists have been somewhat able to estimate that if the human brain’s memory capacity were to be measured in bytes like that of a computer, it would be capable of holding all data seen, heard and experienced to a capacity of 100 terabytes to 1 petabyte; now that’s a lot of space.

 

As a woman progresses through the stages of life, she continues to meet more men. Classmates, schoolmates, neighbors and male friends from her church or mosque are all men she is bound to come across; I said it before, these men are practically everywhere. Note that as a woman grows, she is not impacted by every single man she meets. She is much older and can begin to form more meaningful bonds with specific men in her life. She is going to have male friends, male acquaintances, male classmates/colleagues, not forgetting the boyfriend and of course the toasters association that would be very present and sometimes remain present even after she is married.

However, whoever a woman decides to bond with, contributes a little ‘something something’ to her previously formed perception of men. It’s almost as if the girl’s idea of a man is a pot of soup and each meaningful bond she forms, is similar to someone adding a little salt, a bit of pepper or curry and at other times it’s a little sand or cement, to that pot of soup as the case may be.

 

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#WCW: CELEBRATING STEPHANIE OKEREKE LINUS

Hello WORriors! Today is #WomanCrushWednesday and we are celebrating Stephanie Okereke Linus as our Woman Crush for this week!

Stephanie Okereke is a humanitarian, actress, scriptwriter, producer, and director. She was born in Ngor Okpala, Imo State on October 2, 1982. She is married to Linus Idahosa and they are blessed with a son. She has a Bachelor degree in English and Literary Studies from the University of Calabar. She started acting during her teenage years and has starred in over 90 movies. In 2002, she contested in the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria beauty pageant and reached 2nd place. In 2003, she was nominated in eight different categories and won two awards out of the whole nominations. After graduating from the New York Film Academy in 2007, she released the movie Through The Glass in which she served as director, scriptwriter, producer and actress. The film received an AMAA nomination for Best Screenplay in 2009. In 2014, she release another movie, Dry and again served as a director, scriptwriter, producer, and actress which won many awards including 12th Africa Movie Academy Awards and 2016 Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards’ Overall Best Movie.

She has featured in many movies including, Waterloo, Compromise 2, Emotional Crack, Genesis Of Love, Queen Sheba, Diamond Lady, Critical Decision, The Cross Of Love, Eyes Of The Gods, Mission To Nowhere, Dry, Windfall, among others.

Some of her awards include, Afro-Dublin Awards- Outstanding Actress, Reel Awards- Best Actress, Film Makers of Nigeria- Award For Excellence, Pan African Film Festival- Best Actress, Pan African Film Festival- Best Movie, 2015 Bentonville Film Festival- Best Protagonist, DALA Awards- Face Of Nollywood, 2016 AMVCA- Overall Best Movie, among others.

Stephanie Okereke is the Brand Ambassador of California Natural Food’s Green Valley Oatmeal. ​She is also UNFPA Regional Ambassador for Maternal Health in West and Central Africa.

 

Women Of Rubies celebrates you, Stephanie Linus!

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#MONDAYMOTIVATION| LYDIA OLADEJO: START FROM WHERE YOU ARE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE

A wise go-getter once said “A year from now, you are going to regret not starting today” Another wise go-getter said ”Success is a failure turned inside out. You can only succeed if you are not afraid of failure”. You can have big dreams, great goals, and still not succeed. You know why? The reason is not far-fetched- PROCASTINATION…always waiting for the right moment, always waiting for the perfect location, the right/huge capital..etc. Stop waiting for the right opportunity, create an opportunity for yourself. Start with the little you have, right where you are, and with the little audience you get. Don’t be afraid to fail and don’t be discouraged when you fail. Learn from your last mistake and don’t stop trying until you succeed. Stop waiting for people’s validations and approvals, pat yourself in the back and push yourself to be more.

There was a time I was trying to convince myself that I couldn’t be anything unless I relocate to Lagos. After reading the story of how Instagram and Walt Disney were started, I decided to start from where I am and build a name for myself right here! Stop waiting, start doing. Stop reading success stories and start reading failure stories. Trust me, you will get more wisdom. Big things don’t just start from being big, big things starts from being small.

Start from where you are with what you have!

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JAY HILL : WHAT NOT TO DO ANYMORE WHEN YOU TURN 24

Congratulations on making it to 24! You’re still young, but you’re starting to move into fully-mature adulthood. So how exactly should you change you life for the better? Start by following this guide that outlines 10 things you should stop doing right now!

  1. Stop buying cheap clothes.

As a teenager and young adult, it’s fine to buy clothes and only wear them a few times, changing them as fashion dictates. However, now you’re older and probably settling into your first serious job, it’s time to start taking style more seriously. Invest in a few key pieces rather than buying a new wardrobe every few weeks.

  1. Stop dating unsuitable ones.

It can be hard to find someone worthy of your time and attention, but by the time you reach your mid-twenties, you should have a better idea about what you need in a partner. Don’t waste your time on experimenting with people who you know, deep down, are not right for you. Strike a balance between being realistic and being too willing to give people a chance.

  1. Stop caring what other people think.

It’s human nature to worry about what other people think of us, and no-one likes to feel as though they are being judged or criticized. However, being overly concerned with others’ opinions can cause you to lose sleep and even sacrifice your cherished dreams and ambitions in favour of living someone else’s idea of a great life. Trust your own judgement first and foremost.

  1. Stop blaming your parents.

Sure, no-one’s parents are perfect and yours probably made their fair share of mistakes. However, it’s too easy to fall into the trap of blaming your parents or your upbringing for any current issues you may have. This isn’t productive, and will sour familial relationships.

  1. Stop holding onto old hopes and dreams.

Are you guilty of holding onto aspirations that you really would be best off releasing? It may be time to trade in your old goals and ambitions for newer, more realistic aims. This doesn’t mean you have to give up on your vision of an ideal life, just that you need to keep your aspirations realistic.

  1. Stop living in denial about your finances.

Those years when you could get away with being oblivious to the intricacies of your financial situation are over. It’s time to get responsible and set up a decent savings account, together with a pension plan if you haven’t got one already.

  1. Stop being too nice.

This is an extension of Point 3, above, but deserves its own point. Stop people-pleasing. By your age, you should have a good idea of what you are capable of, and where your limits are. Learning how to say ‘no’ is an important step on the road to maturity.

  1. Stop wasting so much time on the internet.

This is a tough one. These days, it seems as though everyone is addicted to the internet. We use it to find information, keep in touch with friends…and most of the time just browse social media unconsciously…wasting plenty of time. Learn to set time limits for yourself. You could even try one completely internet-free day per week.

  1. Stop taking your health and fitness for granted.

Most of us can subject our bodies to late nights, too much alcohol and excessive junk food in college without feeling the after-effects. Unfortunately, as you move into your mid-twenties and then into your thirties, your body isn’t quite up to the task any more. Time to start eating more healthily and limiting those wild late nights!

  1. Stop being messy.

How many hours have you lost looking for your wallet, cell or keys? Make this the year you finally start getting your possessions in order. Nothing makes you feel more mature than knowing exactly where your stuff is.

Source: Lifehack.org

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AKUDO ABENOGWE-ADEBAYO: NO, I DON’T BELONG IN THE KITCHEN

I vividly remember my article ‘Lagos Hustle’, where I narrated my daily activities in a bid to paint the picture of how stressful it is to work or live in Lagos. I read the various responses about how I was trying to be a super woman. Some people even called my husband a lazy man who was not helping me in anyway. While I enjoy reading the comments and feedbacks, sometimes I think we are too quick to judge without checking the angles to understand what the writer is trying to say.

I am first a woman, before I became a wife and a mother. As a growing girl, I had dreams, things I hoped to achieve, status I wanted to attain, lives I wanted to touch, and I will still try to achieve those dreams.

This is what drives me. My dreams shouldn’t change because marriage and motherhood happened, no. As much as I would try my best to make a success of my roles as a wife and a mother, I should also try and make a success of my dreams.

The worst thing that can happen to any human is to live an unfulfilled life. I don’t think it’s right to think that marriage or motherhood is enough validation as a human, there has to be more to life. I love my husband and children, but I also love ME and will strive to make ME happy. So every hustle I make is not because I don’t have an option of staying at home to be a good wife and mother, every hustle is because I had my dreams as a girl and I want to make them happen.

It will be total injustice for a girl to endure the stress of getting educated or skilled and then throw them away on the altar of being a wife and mother, well if it works for you, good, but it does not work for me.

And that is why I have a problem with being told plainly without mincing words that my place is in the kitchen and bedroom. I disagree. I don’t think any man would set out to marry a dumb, foolish girl as a wife. What kind of kids would she give you? How would she even be able to take care of your home? Marrying such a woman will be tantamount to inviting unending stress into your life because you will end up doing double roles.

I believe that one of the qualities men look out for when picking a wife is smartness, they need to be assured that God forbid if anything happens to them, their kids and properties will be ably handled and safeguarded by their wives. So they marry smart women. Assuming they have political ambitions, they not only marry smart women they go for the ones that are skilled at communication and winning people to their sides, and they bring out their wives to campaign for them when the need arises. How can you then tell me to my face, after bearing and training your children for you, after giving you both moral, emotional, psychological and financial support (if need be) that I belong to the kitchen, just because I am bold enough to air my opinion?

I remember back then as an undergraduate, I knew someone who would always say he wanted to marry me. I thought he was joking about it then. One day, he came to the house and started again with his usual talk, so I told him to get on his knees and propose to me. It was a joke but he took offence and said, what if he got on his knees and I refused to marry him, how would he get up? That as a titled man it was a taboo for him to kneel for a woman. So I told him that my greatest desire is for my fiancé to propose to me on his knees. That was the end of his marriage proposal, he stopped saying it and even avoided coming to the house if I was around.

America is on the verge of having a woman as its first female president. Will we ever have such achievement with politics in Nigeria, if we are constantly reminded that we belong to the kitchen? So I say so, I don’t belong in the kitchen, I also have a dream and will strive to achieve it, so help me God!

Source: Bellanaija

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TALE ALIMI: 5 MARKETING LESSONS FROM NOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTERS

2016 will be remembered as the year of Nollywood blockbuster movies.

As the year was rounding off, we were inundated with the promotion of various new movies, most of which had great reviews from TIFF (Toronto international film festival).

I was spoiled for choice trying to decide which ones I was going to watch, but I finally settled on a few good ones and I must say; they were worth the time and money spent.

While I was giving them kudos for putting out good production, I was not paying attention to the effect it was having on the economy until the beginning of this year.

A few days into the New Year, myself and a business partner were analysing the 2016 economic performance and expectedly, most key sectors had a decline in growth due to the recession, but the tourism and entertainment sector experienced growth mostly fuelled by the growth in activities in Nollywood.

Last week, one of those movies shattered the current Guinness book of record for highest earning film in West Africa with revenues of almost half a billion naira in a country that is supposed to be in a recession!

I immediately put my business strategist hat on to glean marketing lessons from these blockbuster movies that businesses can apply to grow their revenues.

Lesson 1: Mass appeal
These movies had an appeal that cut across social, religious or gender class. They were mostly easy to watch, relatable and connected with current cultural nuances. Even the movies that were based on historical events created enough nostalgia that made you feel like you were relieving the past.

When you position your product or service to appeal to as many people as possible in your selected market space, you are going to sell more or reach more people and in turn earn more revenue.

Lesson 2: Inclusive campaign
In this age of social media, it is very easy to carry your customers and fans along, as you create anticipation for your products or services. Some of these movies carried fans along by showing behind-the-scene pictures, videos and even involving them as the script and characters developed.

By the time the movies came out, the fans appetite have been whet consistently, that they were ready to run to the cinemas to watch them.
When you are creating your products or services, you can leverage on instant feedback from your prospective clients or fans to ensure that you are creating something they will buy.

Lesson 3: Influence marketing
Meet and greet with celebrities during movie premiers and launches have become commonplace. Most of the cast of these movies were present in various cinemas to meet with their fans, and fans were willing to go to the cinemas several times to meet with them.

The use of influence marketing has become quite popular, as you see major brands signing up celebrities as brand ambassadors.

I quite like the idea of the celebrities leveraging their influence to mobilize their fans to see their movies and take selfies with them. Small business have to also begin to find ways to leverage influence marketing to drive revenues.

Lesson 4: Community mobilization
People were encouraged to see the movies over and over again with their family member, friends, colleagues etc. I heard some stories of people who went to see a particular movie 5 times!

Using social and peer influence to mobilize people is one of the most effective ways to market products and services and it is quite popular among network marketing companies.

You can create a marketing campaign that encourages your customers to carry their friends and colleagues along and you will have a marketing team without the payroll!

Lesson 5: Sweeten the deal
Isn’t it amazing that you could watch a movie that cost you under five thousand naira (refreshments included) and stand a chance to win a phone, car or even a trip abroad? Movie promoters have become apt at sweetening the deal for movie goers.

Even though just a hand full of people will eventually win, but it gives people something to look forward to beyond just watching a movie, because you could get over 10 times or 100 times the value of your investment  – if you win in the raffle draw.

These five lessons are not exhaustive, but I believe you can draw some inspiration from them as you create your future marketing campaign.

If you want to get specific strategies and tactics you can leverage to drive your marketing activities and increase your revenues, then my upcoming Marketing master class will benefit you. You can learn more about it and register here.

Tale Alimi

About Tale Alimi

‘Tale is an Entrepreneurial thought leader, foremost Business expert, coach& strategist with an expertise in guiding business owners and professionals to up-level their business and revenues. She is on a mission to help people find their niche and stop the struggle in starting and growing a business which she personally experienced in starting and struggling in several businesses before she finally began to achieve success. She has a Masters in Business Administration from Lagos business school, a certificate in personal coaching from the coaching academy UK and is currently the Lead coach/CEO at Tale Alimi Global( talealimi.com.com). Get daily business inspiration when you follow her on twitter (http://twitter.com/talealimi) and Instagram(https://www.instagram.com/talealimi).

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