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Women of Rubies

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Oprah Winfrey says she does not have any regrets over deciding to not marry or have children.

The 65-year-old talk show host has been in a relationship with long-time partner Stedman Graham for 33 years.

And, despite getting engaged in 1992, the couple have never tied the knot or expanded their family.

Speaking to People magazine, Winfrey revealed that while she did consider becoming a mother following Graham’s proposal, she felt it was the one job she might not be cut out for.

“At one point in Chicago I had bought an additional apartment because I was thinking, ‘Well, if we get married, I’m going to need room for children,’” Winfrey said.

The philanthropist added that much of the reason she decided against having children was because she witnessed “the depth of responsibility and sacrifice that is actually required to be a mother” during her years on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

“I realised, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is,’” Winfrey said.

“I don’t have the ability to compartmentalise the way I see other women do. It is why, throughout my years, I have had the highest regard for women who choose to be at home [with] their kids, because I don’t know how you do that all day long.

“Nobody gives women the credit they deserve.”

Winfrey continued by explaining why she and Graham decided to remain engaged for so long, admitting that she believes things “would have changed” if they had got married.

“I used to think about this all the time, that I was working these 17-hour days, and so were my producers, and then I go home and I have my two dogs and I have Stedman, who’s letting me be who I need to be in the world,” she said.

“He’s never demanding anything from me like, ‘Where’s my breakfast? Where’s my dinner?’ Never any of that, which I believed would have changed had we married.”

Winfrey adds: “Both he and I now say, ‘If we had married, we would not be together’.

“No question about it — we would not stay married, because of what that would have meant to him, and I would have had my own ideas about it.”

Winfrey’s decisions to not marry or have children are ones she still stands by today, explaining that she has “filled that maternal fold” with charitable work.

“I have not had one regret about that,” Winfrey explained.

“I also believe that part of the reason why I don’t have regrets is because I got to fulfill it in the way that was best for me: the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa,” she says.

“Those girls fill that maternal fold that I perhaps would have had. In fact, they overfill — I’m overflowed with maternal.”

For the last 28 years, Chloe Cheyenne Sledd-Rogers has watched her African American father suffer from immense physical and psychological pain after being shot by Chicago police and left for dead. The near-fatal incident took place in March 1989 when undercover cops shot Andrew Sledd over a dozen times inside of his home in Hyde Park, Chicago, leaving him permanently handicapped at just 23 years old.

“He was getting ready to work the night shift [when he] heard a loud banging on the door,” Sledd-Rogers tells BLACK ENTERPRISE, recalling the incident that almost killed her father. “He went to go see what it was and by the time he got there, the door was already off its hinges and a group of plainclothes Chicago police officers began to raid my grandmother’s townhome and opened fire on my dad over a dozen times, hitting him on the crown of his head and multiple times in his groin area.”

“THEY PLANTED DRUGS IN HIS BEDROOM DRESSER, PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED HIM AFTER SHOOTING HIM, AND WAITED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE, HOPING THAT HE WOULD JUST DIE.”

But as he was bleeding to death the cops realized that they had the wrong address on their search warrant. “It was a case of mistaken identity. [They] had identified the wrong black man,” she says. In order to cover up the mistake, she claims “they planted drugs in his bedroom dresser, physically assaulted him after shooting him, and waited to call an ambulance, hoping that he would just die.”

Once Sledd was sent to the hospital doctors predicted that he wouldn’t make it through the night. Nonetheless, he underwent a series of operations—over 72 hours—and miraculously survived. “But in between those operations, he was actually handcuffed to his hospital bed because the CPD maintained that he was a threat and he had done something wrong, despite him being totally unconscious and disabled,” said Sledd-Rogers.

Sledd spent weeks in the hospital recovering before entering a lifetime of physical rehab. To make matters worse, he was attending St. Xavier College on a basketball scholarship at the time when his dreams of going semi-pro were crushed. “He learned how to walk again, regained his motor skills, and [how to] feed himself,” she says

A year later, Sledd-Rogers was born in 1990 in the thick of the tumultuous aftermath that her father and family were experiencing. Throughout her childhood, she watched her dad go to rehab and relive the trauma he experienced all while going back-and-forth to court, fighting for his innocence against the city of Chicago.

“I remember being a little girl watching him put on a bulletproof vest under his clothes before he would leave the house because he suffers from extreme PTSD from what happened to him,” she said. “Every single day that my family and I interact with my dad, we have to watch him in pain because he still has a bullet fragment lodged in his spine that can never be taken out, or else he will become a paraplegic.”

The emotional and physical trauma that her father has endured, however, has not gone completely in vain. In addition to being used as case law for similar issues, it has become the source of motivation for Sledd-Rogers’ quest to change the world.

Communityx

Chloe and her parents, Andrew and Maria Sledd

TURNING PAIN INTO PURPOSE

In 2015, the Howard University School of Business graduate left her full-time job at Google to launch a social justice startup. In addition to her father’s pain and resilience, Sledd-Rogers was compelled by the shooting death of Mike Brown, an unarmed black teen who was fatally shot by a white officer in Ferguson, Missouri, in 2014. “Just watching that image of his lifeless body in the streets of Ferguson really hit home in a way that I just can’t ever hope to describe. And I decided that while I really appreciated my job at Google, that there was something more important that I have to do.”

Sledd-Rogers leveraged her experience in tech with her passion for social justice to create a platform to mobilize and accelerate activism called COMMUNITYx (Cx). The social impact tech startup aims to connect activists, organizations, and community leaders around shared causes and movements. It’s run by an all-black board of directors and was funded by investors of color in its angel round. Plus, former U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan serves as a special adviser to the company, while MSNBC host Joy-Ann Reid is one of her mentors.

“When I first came up with the idea for this company, I could have never imagined that we would have built the network allies that we have,” she says. “Joy has not only been a big supporter of the company, but she’s also one of my greatest mentors in life. So having like her guidance for direction and her support throughout this whole process has been honestly just a dream come true.”

Google

Chloe Sledd-Rogers and Joy Reid at the Cx Social Impact Summit

KEEPING ACTIVISTS SAFE

While Twitter and Facebook have notoriously been infiltrated by racist trolls and even penalized black voices, Cx promises to be a safe space for socially conscious people to connect. The app allows users to build local and global communities that focus on prescient social issues, from the climate crisis to racial justice to prison reform to mental health. After downloading the app, users can select their preferred causes and get instantly connected with others nearby and around the world that share their passion. Cx also provides people with the opportunity to connect in real life through experiences like its inaugural Cx Social Impact Summit, which took place in September at Santa Clara University.

The buzz around the budding tech startup is growing. Since its launch in 2018, the Chicago-native raised $125,000. Plus, Cx tied for first place at the Forbes Under 30 Startup Pitch Competition in October, earning a $250,000 media grant while becoming the first startup with a black founder and black leadership team to ever win the contest. Cx is bound to receive more accolades and may even catapult social change in the 21st century. But even that will not give Sledd-Rogers the justice she says her father deserves.

“Justice is really hard to gauge in these types of situations,” she says.  “For my dad, the city did settle with him out of court, [but] it wasn’t nearly enough to cover the medical expenses and issues that he had both at the time and to this day.” She asserts, “There’s the other side of justice, which is actually addressing this systemic police militarization issue. And, as we all know, these things still continue to happen to people like us in communities across the country. So, has justice served? I wouldn’t say so.”

Celeste Beatty, owner of the Harlem Brewing Company, is the first Black female brewery owner in the United States, Insider reports.

Beatty founded Harlem Brewing in 2000, making her first batch of beer in her apartment using a home brew kit she received as a gift. She worked hard perfecting her recipes and grew the business into the specialty craft brew that it is today. Beatty creates beers inspired by Harlem and ancient African traditions, using loads of flavors with the aim of celebrating Black culture and heritage. 

The craft beer industry has been mostly made up of rich white men for the last 40 years. Beatty’s presence alone is a disrupter. Beatty suggests that less than 1% of US craft breweries are owned by African Americans and studies show that Black people only make up 10% of weekly beer drinkers. But Beatty hopes to change that through her company while also educating people. 

“Even though we brought our traditions from Africa, and we brewed beer for Thomas Jefferson and various people that enslaved us, we were never able to actually open the brewery, we were never able to actually be the entrepreneurs early on. So, there is no tradition of owning breweries, of owning bars, because of that discrimination,” Beatty said.

Harlem Brewing aims to create a new tradition. With flavors like the Sugar Hill Golden Ale, Renaissance Wit and 125 IPA, Beatty is telling the story. And she hopes that through that story, she is able to create community. That’s why her next step is to open a brewpub in Harlem. 

Beatty previously spoke to Edible Manhattan about the brewpub saying that she wants “to make it a teaching brewery, where [she] would invite people from the community to learn to brew.” She also wants to make sure that the people in the community have ownership in the brewpub.

“My interest is to make sure that some part of the company is owned by the community. In this world that we live in, we’ve got to find a way to get people in the community not just working there, but they’ve got to have some equity in it,” Beatty told Insider. 

 

Source: Beacuseofthemwecan

Folasayo Ayodele is a business woman and founder of Single mothers Tribe, She answers our famous #7Questions below

What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear is failing my sons. I will not give anyone a chance to say they lack in any aspect in life because they were raised by a woman.

2. In your darkest moments, what do you do?

I look back at where I’m coming from and how far I’ve come. Then I look ahead with gratitude for all things.

3. What is that one thing you would like to change about yourself?

Procrastination and not finishing up whatever I start. I have too many abandoned projects and decisions I’ve been procrastinating on.

4. Where do you see yourself five years from now?

I projected where I’d like to be now five years ago. I didn’t meet my mark and had to make some brave adjustments like relocating to Lagos. I am looking at five years from now; I should have been well settled into my business in Lagos. I see a me who has got everything together; business, my tribe would have by then made unforgettable impacts on more single mums.

5. What keeps you going?

I stay focus on the positive, I try not to permit negative energy in my headspace and around me. My tribe also keep me going, just knowing my challenges are not peculiar to me is a sure sign that I’ll win.

6. What is your stand on feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist?

I like to consider myself humanist. I believe every human being deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Be they male or female.

7. What keeps you up at night?

My dreams for myself and my kids keep me awake. Thank you.

 

Professor Olabisi Ugbebor is the first Nigerian  woman to have a PhD in mathematics at the age of 25.

Born in Lagos, Professor Olabisi attended Queen’s College, Lagos and proceeded to Cambridge Higher School Certificate.

During her time at Queen’s College, she taught her classmates mathematical topics that seemed difficult for them.

In 1969, she won a Federal Government  scholarship to study mathematics at University of Ibadan, where she was the only female student in her class of seven, and graduated in 1972 with Second Class Upper Honours degree in mathematics.

The University of Ibadan later sponsored her to the University of London, the First University Statistics Department in the world,  for her masters programme in 1973 and her PhD in 1976 at age 25.

Professor Olabisi is also the first Nigerian woman to be appointed Ag. Head, Department of Mathematics, University of Ibadan.

She is a Reciprocity member of the London Mathematical Society; she is also a member of the Nigerian Mathematical Society, member of the Mathematics Association of Nigeria, member of the African Economic Society, and a member of the Third World Organisation of Women in Science, Italy.

An associate Professor of the Mathematics Department in University of Ibadan, she still derives pleasure in imparting knowledge.

A woman from the US has served as an example of strength and inspiration after climbing the ranks at her workplace. Pam Talbert who once worked as a school janitor mixed hard work and perseverance to give rise to a booming career as an assistant principal.

According to WBRZ, the mother of three had a learning disability that had not been diagnosed but this did not stop her from achieving her dreams. For someone who could not read or write, becoming an educator was nothing short of a miracle.

For someone who could not read or write, becoming an educator was nothing short of a miracle.

“Miracles happen and you are looking at a miracle. I am a miracle. I could not read and write. I was on a third-grade level,” she said. Pam admitted her kids pushed her to greatness and forced her out of her comfort zone. The dedicated assistant principal learned and read what her kids were learning and started to pick up a few things from their books. Pam admitted her kids pushed her to greatness and forced her out of her comfort zone.

Most times, when the kids returned from school they would tutor their mum. Eventually, she managed to go back to school and earn both her bachelor’s and master’s degrees at Southern University. ‘‘It was very hard, but I persevered because I knew that it was important that I did that,” Pam added. Even more inspiring, Pam and her son are headed to school to earn their PhDs from Southern University. “Despite where you are coming from, or your background, your history or where you live… It is going to be alright if you persevere. If you try,” Talbert said.

Source: Tuko

Coreisa Janelle Lee was born and raised in Birmingham, Alabama to two parents who dedicated their lives to pastoring a church. She attended a performance arts highscool in Alabama where she  majored in Music performance. After highschool she  accepted full scholarship to the Manhattan School of Music in New York city where she got her Bachelors degree in Music Performance.While Coreisa is her final year of her Masters Degree, she also works as a Flute Teachers Assistant , where she teach students privately about music and performance.

The young musician who grew up with three older brothers who are musicians, including her parents is very passionate about African Music, she recently found out about her Nigerian roots and she says the love and support has been huge online , while she looks forward to visiting the Country in the nearest future to showcase her talent and introduce her work to the larger Nigerian community and bring the history to the world through her talents.

Coreisa Janelle Lee shares her Inspiring story with me in this interview

Childhood Influence

My childhood absolutely prepared me for what I do now. I grew up in a household of all musicians. My dad and mother pastored a church in Birmingham, Alabama and had a strong belief in talents gifted by God. With my parents both having a background in music, they put me and my three older brothers into music class at a very young age. From there, I’ve danced, sung, played piano and discovered the flute. I started taking Flute lessons in the fourth grade and has stuck with that passion ever since.

Impact of coming from a family of “Musicians ”

My parents encouraged my practicing. They put me in all the music programs and pushed me to take all opportunities to continue my talent. They were my teachers at home, telling me what I could do to be better. I played piano in church every Sunday and I watched my brothers interest in music production, as they also fell in love with music. Really, I had no choice but to become a musician. It was my entire childhood. My parents pushed me to audition for the Alabama School of Fine Arts where I was accepted and awarded high training in Flute performance. I then was told to reach outside of the box and audition for a Music conservatory in New York City. I did and received a full scholarship to move to New York and to be trained by the great musicians there. While in New York, I was discovered by Meredith Vieira, a talk show host on NBC, where she invited me as a 19 year old girl to come on the show, tell my story and then was awarded a free, brand new 14,000 dollar professional flute. The rest is history.

Being a teacher and music instructor

Being a teacher and music instructor has impacted me greatly! Originally, I believed I needed more time to work on my skills before reaching out and telling others what they can do better. I was not seeking to teach but for more performance opportunities. After receiving a full scholarship for my Masters, I walked into a position that required me to be responsible for College level teaching. It forced me to realize that I have reached a level where it is time to give back. I had reached a level where I was looked up to, so teaching has definitely brought another level of confidence to my music and place in this world. Also, teaching has technically made me a better musician as there is a moment where you must know the things you are teaching in order for the student to fully receive what you are saying. You must demonstrate, you must speak with confidence and assurance; Therefore, it has pushed me to make sure I know what I am saying.

Plans to  bring my vision to Nigeria

I have big plans to visit home. It has been a journey of finding who I am and I am so happy to know I have Nigerian blood. I want to come visit and I would like to share my talents with all of my brothers and sisters. This is where I ask for help from those in Nigeria. I want to organize a recital/performance that will allow me to travel to Nigeria, share myself and meet as many people as possible. I will be graduating from My Masters soon and would like to plan this performance shortly after. If there is anyone with any ideas or wisdom please reach out to me as I would be so grateful! I am looking for performance spaces, a classical accompanist/orchestra and financial support to make it happen.

Challenges

As a musician, as an Artist, this life can be very unpredictable. At one point everything could make sense and the next you are searching for what’s next. It’s a push and pull on your sanity and I find this the hardest. From personal experience and seeing my students and colleagues experience the frustration, I know that this is simply the life of an artist. Choosing to steer from the 9 to 5 path means that you have to build your own career/success. You not only must organize a 9 to 5 schedule in order to perfect your craft, but must have enough business inside of you to bring enough revenue to stay afloat in the music world. It is very difficult, but once figured out, completely worth it.

On Giving up

I know of many stories of people where they felt like giving up, but for me personally I have never been pushed that far. It has been hard for sure, but I’ve known since a little girl that I am doing what I am meant to do. As I do not know the future, and I also believe “Faith without works is dead”, I continue to work and experience all of the troubles of planning my future, but I have not once questioned if I should give up or not. God has blessed my life and I am so grateful for this peace.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I agree that Women are nurturers by nature. I find those instincts within myself and thank my mother for being such a great example. Through everything I do, I look to encourage and uplift those around me. Now with the internet, I have found that I am able to touch and encourage many people on a wide scale and feel it is my duty to do so. As a musician, a platform that is universal, I have found my calling. My music, my story encourages and inspires others and has helped me to understand I must keep going. As one of the few African Classical Flute performers in the world, I have reached a place where my career is important for the youth growing up looking to see someone who looks like them and made it out successful. For them and for my family and many others, I have and will continue to rise and push. Thank you Women or Rubies for being a platform for people like me to express themselves. I am grateful for the recognition.

On recognition of upcoming musicians

I think being a musician on a recognized level is a very difficult and long journey. There are success stories of quick elevations to fame, but for the most part the stories are usually long and requires patience and smart work. I think those who are recognized deserve the attention and are appreciated, but unfortunately there are also those that work hard and go unnoticed – It is a battle of extremes. I think in order to balance this out, more successful musicians need to have it in there minds to bring more deserving musicians into the spotlight. We all need each other on this earth and no one can ever replace you. There is no need of selfishness and envy. We all have a place on this earth and should not hesitate to extend our hands out to uplift others.

Any final word for Women, especially young women who want to go into music?

You deserve your beauty and you deserve your talent. Never let anyone try and divide these two characteristics of you. You can be both and you ARE both. Hold yourself with dignity and strength and show the world your power. Do not look down on other women’s power. We are all powerful in nature, we are queens and we all have a place in this earth!

 

 

 

Eniola Victoria Apapa is a nineteen year old final year student of Political Science and International Relations in Caleb University. She has been a recipient of Best Student Award in her department right from her first year till date.

Eniola owns her own makeup outfit, Glam by Enieey. She combines academics, entrepreneurship and holding major student leadership positions effectively.

She shares her Ruby Girl story in this interview.

1. Let’s meet you. Who is Eniola?

My name is Apapa Eniola Victoria. A final year student of Caleb University, department of political Science and International Relations.

2. What are your hobbies?

I love to cook and watch movies. I love to hang out a lot but I’m also one of those people that enjoy being in their own space.

3. Who and what inspires you?

My mum inspires me a lot, she’s a really strong woman and I just want her to be happy.

4. What is your biggest fear?

I don’t want to loose my mum.

5. What is that one accessory you can’t leave home without?

I really don’t think there is an accessory I can’t do without, but let’s just say my phone.

6. You have been receiving the award of best student in International Relations right from your first year and you are on a first class? How does that make you feel? And what do you think is the secret to this great record of yours?

Yes, with this being achieved, I’ve realized that I can do anything I put my heart to. Back in secondary school I was just an average student and here I’m one of the best. It’s basically just hard work and determination to achieve set goals.

7. What is that one thing you’ll like to change about yourself?

I am very pessimistic and I need to change that. It’s quite interesting being a realist as an International Relations student but I think I need to slow it down.

8. What keeps you up at night?

I cherish my sleep a lot so the only thing that can keep me up has to be my books.

9. If given the chance to be the President of Nigeria for a day, what will you change?

I would ensure that Nigeria is well represented at the international level to be able to maintain our relevance as a country.

10. You have your own makeup brand. What inspired you to venture into it? And how has the journey been so far.

Well, while growing up, I spent a lot of time by the mirror with my mum’s cosmetics bag. I started doing her makeup for events and that’s how I developed interest in learning more about makeup.

The journey hasn’t been easy so far but of course I can see growth and I know very soon I’ll get there.

11. How do you juggle everything together?

It’s not easy combining work with academics and also holding major student leadership positions in school but I just set my priorities right.

12. Where do you see yourself/your brand in the next 5 years?

In 5 years, I want to own various range of makeup products and of course working my way up to becoming one of the top influencers of Nigeria’s diplomatic relations.

13. If you were given the opportunity to address a group of girls five years younger than you, what will be your advice to them?

Firstly, I’ll make them know that they can achieve anything they set their hearts to.
Don’t let your gender or certificate limit you. Try to explore your world and make the best use of your time.

The app – i-Cut – makes it easier for young women to seek help, find a rescue centre or report the procedure to the authorities.

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