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In Inspiration January 28, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Lynda Madu: There Should Be No Limitations For Women In Today’s World

Lynda Madu is the Associate Director of Corporate Services and Development for Nestoil Group. She started her career as a consultant in the late 90s with Arthur Andersen, which later became Andersen and then KPMG.

During an interview with WomenAfrica, she spoke about women experiences;

“I would say for as long as I have been a woman, of course, as we get older and more mature, we get more and more conscious of it. It is something I am very passionate about. I have four daughters, and perhaps that even makes it more of a passion for me. Some of the challenges are quite evident in the corporate world, coupled with cultural issues and societal pressures.

And I know for sure that it is not just a Nigerian or African issue, it is a global one;

I have read several books and articles on it and have also related with other citizens from across the globe, especially women, that confirm this. So, as you get into it, it is right in your face; you have discussions with people and can relate with the issues, and therefore, you are encouraged to make your own contribution at whatever level, particularly if you think you have the opportunity to do that.”

Sharing her view on feminism, she said; “Feminism, for me, simply means that you recognize and treat me as a person, first. Consider my work purely on its own merit and based on my results and the quality of my output. As a woman, it is a quest for fairness, even if we know the world is not necessarily a fair place.

You are probably right to say issues about feminism could be controversial but that is because sometimes people, including women, subconsciously have their own idea of where the woman should be, and so see feminism as a threat to that ideology.

I do not think that women are asking for any special favours or such. Women are simply saying, see them first as human beings, judge their work based on quality and not gender. As women, they are entitled to their human rights.

We are saying ‘remove the biases and judge my work especially in the corporate environment based on its merits, and please do not deprive me of my rights, just because I am a woman’.

It is a work in progress. We may not be where we want to be yet, but the awareness is being created and people and corporations are taking necessary actions. There are still a lot of required interventions: at the global level,at national levels; and even within organizations in Nigeria and everywhere for that matter.

It is reflected even in the way certain organisations now hire. They know the benefits of gender balance and personally when I have to make the choice and all things being equal, I am more likely to select a qualified (quality cannot be compromised) woman over an equally qualified man. And that is because several studies have been done on the impact of women in management and business.

McKinsey, in a recent one (study) showed a clear correlation between gender equality and an increase in GDP. Countries like Japan are, therefore, beginning to make deliberate efforts to fix gender inequality knowing the value that brings to the economy.

Some other countries and organisations insist on gender quotas, both in management and Boards. Even in Africa, Rwanda is doing very well in that regard, ranking in the top 5 countries for gender equality. South Africa also has a very good representation of women in government and in their parliament. There is great value in gender balance. And by that I do not mean equal, absolute, numbers like 50-50; no. That would be unrealistic in many places.

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In Inspiration January 27, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Dr. Mercy Bello Abu: Business Consultant, Social Entrepreneur & Clarity Coach

Dr. Mercy Bello Abu is a thought leader, business consultant, lead Consultant at IHP Consulting Services and social entrepreneur with several years of experience.

She is also a coach on clarity and finding your way, a public speaker and an advocate for women in business.

She is the president of Entrepreneurs Platform Initiative (EPI) – a network and support base for female entrepreneurs.

Her life goal is to leave a positive impact by helping people discover their innate abilities and maximize their potential.

She is married to Elder Ahmed Abu and they are blessed with four phenomenal children.

IHP Consulting

She is the Lead Consultant at IHP Consulting Services. IHP is a Management Consulting firm which offers business support services, business management consulting/training services for individuals, public and corporate organizations, SME business development services, project management, recruitment, hospitality, entrepreneurship training, business reviews, process reviews, system implementation, HR audit, team energizers, strategic retreat and gap analysis intervention.

Their area of core competence is to develop, package and deliver innovative, quality, reliable and cost-effective services that best satisfy customer/client’s needs, whilst executing a highly profitable, resourceful and ethical organization that will survive well into the future and also be a valuable asset to its shareholders.

EPI

She also leads the Entrepreneurs Platform Initiative (EPI) – a network and support base for female entrepreneurs offering business clinics, seminars, training, capacity development, and round table with entrepreneurs’ mentorship and coaching.

EPI gives its members:
* A platform that creates Business linkages for Entrepreneurs
* A forum for strategic Networking.
* A platform where you OWN YOUR STORY, sharing inspirational stories that inspire and motivates Entrepreneurs.
* A platform that informs you about grants and loans from Financial institutions and educated you on how to get it

They also have The Entrepreneurship and Mentorship Academy (TEMA) Entrepreneurs Breakfast Meeting (EBM) Monday Classes are designed to build entrepreneurs that will take over the marketplace. Their goal is to create the next BIG Entrepreneur, a world changer and a marketplace giant. This platform exposes you to practical principles, trainings and opportunities that will grow your brand and make you exceptional in the marketplace.

Being a Coach

We asked her why she is passionate about her work, this is what she had to say:

People often ask me why I am so passionate and driven. They want to know what motivates and drives me and I usually tell them, “If your ‘why’ is compelling enough you can endure almost anything and achieve whatever you set your mind on”

I didn’t come to discover my why until I was faced with a dilemma on the 10th of April. 2010. My business of over 15 years came crumbling down in a fire incident. I lost a huge sum of money, all the goods in the supermarket were congealed, and the bank was on my tail.

My world crumbled and the seemingly burning passion with which I started began to dwindle. In all of these, I learned that “what you focus on grows”.

My work is changing lives in lots of ways, I give out my platform to anyone who is willing to learn, and I impact them in such a manner that they will be compelled to be who they were designed to be. So be good at what you do, that good will come looking for you.

Source: Woman.ng

In Career Gems January 27, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Esther Ijewere: 5 Reasons Why You Feel Worthless And What You Can Do About It

Feeling worthless , down or unmotivated? This article is for you.

It hit hard by a message Inbox yesterday when a sister told me she feels useless because nothing is working for her, and she needed words of encouragement. Encouragement is one of the easiest things you could give anyone, If you yourself have enjoyed being encouraged several times.

Feelings of worthlessness can come at any time in your life, but if you are suddenly feeling like you can’t do anything right or that you aren’t worthy of the things you have in your life, you might be wondering what has happened to your self-confidence.

You are not alone. Feelings of unworthiness can be triggered at any time, especially during your development years.

What’s even more possible is that if you are struggling with your self-confidence as an adult, it’s likely that you have had some experience with others telling you that you aren’t worthy and you might have been harboring those old feelings in some way now.

If you can’t shake that feeling that your self-confidence is waning, it might be time to start exploring why that is. Here’s how.

Someone else has been telling you that you are not good enough

It’s hard to understand why anyone would say mean things to another person, especially unprovoked, but many people grow up in households where they have been told repeatedly that they are worthless.The more you dig into your thoughts about what others have said about you or to you, the less power they have over you and the more likely you are to be able to create new thoughts about yourself.
You are comparing yourself to others

You probably spend a lot of time looking at other people, reading about other people, wishing you had another life, made more money, had a different job or house.If you find yourself doing this, you need to stop and start practicing gratitude for what you have in your life.
You’ve experienced great change in your life

Sometimes a change in our identity can alter our sense of self. If you have been separated or divorced (Like me) or lost a job, you might not know how to quantify your value.Many people look to their careers as a way to validate their success in the world and if you have recently lost yours, you might find it difficult to relate to others and the life you once had.When you’re dealing with trauma or heartbreaking change, it can become easy to blame yourself.
You feel like everyone is against you

You might find that you feel bad about yourself, not because of the thoughts you are having about yourself, but because of the thoughts you are having about other people!Sometimes we put words in other people’s mouths and we think they are thinking things about us even when they are not.

If you feel like the whole world is against you, it’s not because they are out to get you, it’s because you think they are. When you create these situations in your mind, you find that they often come true.You’ll start to see evidence of how people are working against you, even when they are not.In order to deal with this, you need to turn your attention inward and ask yourself why you think people are out to get you.
You are Negative:

I was this person for a longtime , till I found my own light.Do you find yourself dwelling on criticisms or mistakes you’ve made? That negative events tend to draw your attention more than positive events? It is called “Negative Bias”. They keep you in a negative box.

What to do when you feel worthless?

Get up and Keep it moving, Be your own motivation
Ask Questions: Ask questions about how you do things, why you do them, and what you get out of them. Use the information you discover to help you move forward. For me, I find that writing in a journal every day allows me to get to know what I’m really thinking and feeling.
Be Present , Be in the now: Lack of self-confidence often comes from living in the future. Being in the now allows you to accept where you are and where you’ve come from instead of putting pressure on yourself to get where you are trying to go later. It is called “Mindfulness” , It is a tool I use to draw myself back to the present and focus on what is most important; Now.

Watch: 3 Psalms for Mercy and Protection

In Conclusion

Feeling worthless is a common human experience for many people. Whether it’s from growing up in a non-supportive environment, a trauma-based event or the tendency to compare ourselves to others, feelings of worthlessness are difficult to deal with no matter who you are.

But learning to practice mindfulness to allow us to question our own thoughts and emotions allows us to take a step back from the mind and understand that we don’t need to think negatively about ourselves.

Taking an objective look at reality will allow you to see that you have a lot of potential and skills, a lot to be grateful for, and you don’t need to believe your own negative thoughts.

Selah!

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In Inspiration January 25, 2023 By Women of Rubies

How Aysia Hilliard Leveraged TikTok To Boost Her Lip Balm Business

Aysia Hilliard is a 21-year-old entrepreneur who started her own lip balm company in 2017. She is from Atlanta, Georgia, and is a biology major and a chemistry minor at Howard University. Hilliard’s company TrapStix Lip Balm Company LLC sells lip balms based on musical artists and music, consisting of a wide variety of flavors such as “Lil Uzi Vernilla” and “Sticki Minaj.”

Since 2017, Aysia Hilliard has been the CEO of her own successful business which has skyrocketed in popularity and sales over the years. TrapStix Lip Balm is sold worldwide, with over 5,000 followers on Instagram, over 93,000 followers on Tiktok, and over 700 followers on Facebook.

Hilliard initially thought of the idea as a joke but turned the lip balm into a reality when she began selling them to family, friends, and peers.

Her business gained popularity when she started promoting it on her TikTok account over quarantine in 2020. As a new and yet extremely popular social media app, TikTok is known for being an extremely beneficial tool for those looking to gain a large following over a short period of time.

During quarantine was when TikTok really began to gain popularity, so Hilliard’s timing was perfect. She promoted her company on TikTok and received half a million views on her very first post, thus jumpstarting the success and popularity of TrapStix Lip Balm.

“I never expected when I posted my first ever video that it would blow up like that,” Hilliard said, “It was especially shocking since it was my first-ever post, but I think things just happened the way they were supposed to because it gave me more confidence to continue posting.”

Five years later, TrapStix Lip Balm is thriving as a business. With the help of her parents, Hilliard is continuing to build her brand and hopes to partner with larger companies and corporations in order to expand into online and brick-and-mortar stores. When speaking on her success, Hilliard said, “The most unexpected part of entrepreneurship is the constant need for intrinsic motivation.

Whether your business is doing phenomenally or poorly, you have to wake up every day and choose to work hard on taking it to the next step. There’s always improvements to be made, especially in a completely new business.”

Aysia Hilliard has gone from selling her very first TrapStix flavor, “Gucci Mango” to those around her at school and at home, to being the CEO and spokesperson of her own company. She handles all aspects of social media and marketing as well.

“My favorite part of running a business is the ability to let myself make mistakes,” Hilliard said, “Because I am my own boss, I understand that I really don’t know what I’m doing until it’s done. Being an owner allows you to go through trial and error stages without repercussions from someone else.”

As well as offering consumers a wide range of lip balm flavors with creative names centered around stars of the hip-hop industry, TrapStix Lip Balm also offers merchandise such as T-shirts, hoodies, tote bags, and baseball caps on its website. Gift cards are also available for purchase, making the products of TrapStix Lip Balm a great gift idea for the holiday season. For more information on TrapStix Lip Balm, you can visit the website or email the company

In lifestyle January 22, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Titilola Edu: Single, 30 & The Unnecessary Pressure To Get Married

Marriage pressure is one of the biggest challenges folks in their 30’s face. If you have experienced this, then this article is for you.

“Simisola, buy balloon na and do photo-shoot for your birthday”, Tayo said.

“Limme, I’m not buying balloon”

“Why nau? Buy jor so that we can post fine pictures on Instagram”

“Please you people should not go and display my age on my birthday on Instagram o”

Simisola’s 30th birthday was in a couple of days and she was sure her friends would want to announce her cross over to the world of the thirties. But Simi was vehemently against it. Tayo bullied, scolded and bashed her but she maintained her stand that she didn’t want a public announcement of her age. She just wasn’t ready for the questions friends and family would ask.

“So Simi, err… time is no longer on your side o, when are you getting married?’

Aunt Dayo her mother’s eldest sister had called her a couple of days ago full of praises. “SimiSimi peperempempe Peperempe, How are you my dear, your birthday is coming up soon o, Awon brother nko? when are we going to meet them, you are not getting younger o, don’t let your looks deceive you. Abi is there a problem? Shey you will come to my house let us discuss it. Plus Joke, that my friend, her son is back from the States, very fine boy….”

Her Mom had also called her to get ready for deliverance in her church soon.

Poor Simi, she’s beginning to think she has a problem and must marry the next man available.

So many ladies are in Simi’s shoes right now. The pressure from family, friends and the society is insane! Why are we like this sha?!

Society will force you to get married because according to them you are now “ripe for marriage”, saddling an otherwise good woman with a lifelong handicap.

We look upon a young unmarried lady as though she’s suffering from a vile disease just because she’s not married. A lady over the age of thirty soon becomes the butt of ridicule, accusations and meddling, by those around her. Of course there are many reasons a woman could remain unmarried – failed relationships, attitude, exposure, etc.

A lot of times people assume it’s because she has a bad character – in cases when it is, rather than ridicule them, why not help build and mold such women to be better.

Marriage is not the beginning and end of life. I have no doubt its meant to be beautiful and meaningful because it is God’s mandate, but only if you are in it for the right reasons with God’s leading, then it will be fine. Maybe not perfect but it will be fine. Please don’t make marriage seem like the highest possible achievement a woman can ever have.

There are so many young, impressionable women out there, what advice are we giving?

Be a better woman so God can send the right man your way or you better hurry up and marry the next available guy because time is no longer on your side.

We need to realize that at the end of the day titles are meaningless where genuine feelings are nonexistent.

Stop worshipping the RING! Nigerians also need to change the mentality that the life aim of every woman is to be married and have children. Don’t get me wrong please, I am definitely not in support of the “You don’t need a man team” Hollup! Lol. I definitely need a man, but biko, please, let us marry for the right reasons, not because we want to please friends and family.

No be so? Please advise Simisola.

In Career Gems January 22, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Tammy Kyne: 5 Signs You’re Afraid Of Commitment

Are you afraid of commitment? Your significant other one day mentions how all of your friends are getting married and starting families.

You don’t see the rush or the big deal since you’ve been pretty satisfied in your relationship. You clam up at the thought of the M-word and cleverly redirect the conversation and dodge that bullet yet again. Are you just not ready for marriage? Or could it be that you are afraid of commitment?

Here are 5 signs you could be.

Hot then cold.

When the relationship started, you were moving fast and just couldn’t get enough of being with your boyfriend. Bae was the only thing on your mind. He was also the person on your contact list you’d make sure you wouldn’t miss a call or text from. Then when the direction of your connection turned serious, you start to stomp on the brakes. It seems a fire that was burning so hot at the start has now started to cool off quickly.

The chase is always fun and exciting, but when it seems you’ve captured your prey, it loses all the fun. Afraid of commitment? I would say probably so.

Friends and family.

If you’ve been dating for any significant amount of time, let’s say 6-8 months and have yet to introduce your new boo to your family and friends something is definitely off here. A person that has a long-term interest in a relationship wouldn’t be able to keep their significant other to themselves for that long.

Can’t find a reason to show him off? You’re probably afraid of commitment.

Sabotage is her name.

Say you begin a relationship and just as things are going along well, you decide that a minor flaw in the other person has become immediately unacceptable and you break it off. Or a worst case scenario would be to just end the relationship without an explanation. Both of these scenarios is a sure sign that you don’t want to be in a long-term relationship. The thought strikes fear deep in your heart and paralyzes your better judgment and consideration. Sabotage driven by fear of commitment destroys what could have been a promising relationship.

My future is bright.

It’s all about right now. How you feel right now. What you’re doing right now. Who you’re interested in right now. The passion for your boyfriend is all good..now. Thoughts about your future equal everything you’ve ever wanted; that promotion in a career, travel, and possibly another degree. You just don’t envision your boyfriend there with you. Your life is on the fast track to success and you don’t want anything to ‘get in the way’.

We’re just ‘Friends’.

“Oh he’s just my friend” That’s what you say when friends and family ask you about the guy you’ve been hanging out with.

Labeling is for food. When it comes to relationships you’re okay without them. As long as everything can continue as it has, you see no issue with being called “just friends”. If the norm is maintained, then that is right in your lane and everything is everything. The trouble comes at the talk of anything like boyfriend/girlfriend or even God forbid, ‘fiancee’. That’s when you run for the border, tell him he is moving too fast and stop answering his phone calls.

The one for me?

The idea of being with one person for the rest of your life is scary, an absolutely terrifying thought for a commitment phobe. The thought of being with only one person for the rest of your life has so many layers. This will be the only person you have a sexual relationship with; the only person you’ll wake up to EVERY morning. That can be overwhelming to say the least and for a commitment phobe, that worry multiplies.

Conclusion

If you are a commitment phobe, it can turn into a frustrating situation. You have to keep in mind what is acceptable in your life and realize that time is precious and it waits for no man or woman. For the one that is commitment averse, keep this next thought upstairs. When or if you finally make up your mind, just hope that you don’t run into yourself.

In Career Gems January 22, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

How To Fix A Broken Marriage And Save Your Relationship

When you are a child and dream of your “happily ever after,” it never dawns on you that your marriage might not end up that way. I mean, let’s face it – all the Disney movies in the world never, ever hint to the fact that Cinderella and her Prince Charming would ever have any problems, right?

Well, Disney movies aren’t real life. Although we all know this on a conscious level, we still – in our hearts – hope that we will be the exception to the rule. We think that we will be one of the lucky ones who have a lifelong, happy marriage.

However, for many couples, it simply doesn’t happen. Why is that? Well, the reasons are many, which I will go into in a minute. But no one teaches us how to have a loving marriage. And if we didn’t see our parents living happily together, then we really have no model for it.

So, what if you find yourself in an unhappy marriage? How to fix a broken marriage and save your relationship?

Reasons that Lead to a Broken Marriage

I really wish all of us could take a class in school called Relationships 101. But no one is ever formally taught how to have a good marriage (or any relationship for that matter). What is the result? The result is that all of us just sort of fly by the seat of our pants and wing it when it comes to relationships. But if you want to have a happy, healthy, successful marriage, you can’t do that.

Here are some of the causes of a broken marriage.

Laziness

Everyone says relationships are hard and take a lot of hard work. Well, think about it. Anything in this life that is worth having takes effort, right? I mean, unless you win the lottery, you won’t become rich without hard work.

Relationships are no different. You have to put in effort into your marriage. If you don’t, and are too lazy to keep it alive, it will die.

Selfishness

Many people are selfish to some extent. But when it comes at the price of a healthy marriage, then it’s a problem. You can’t always put your needs first. You have to put your partner’s needs at least equal to – or before – your own. Otherwise, resentment will keep building endlessly.

Neglect

This goes hand-in-hand with laziness and selfishness. If you are lazy and don’t put in effort, and you are constantly selfish, then you are neglecting your partner – and your relationship as a whole.

Relationships are like plants. If you don’t water a plant, it will die. If you neglect a marriage, it will eventually end as well.

Children

As much as we love them, children are hard on a marriage. If you are honest with yourself, you know it’s true. Children take a lot of time and energy – time and energy that could spent on your marriage. So, when couples don’t stay connected because children get in the way, then your marriage will break down.

Poor Communication Skills

Knowing how to talk to your partner to express your feelings and needs is essential. However, both people need to do the same and have empathy for the other person.

If empathy (the ability to identify with and see the other person’s point of view) doesn’t exist, then it’s virtually impossible to have a healthy marriage.

How to Fix a Broken Marriage (without Couseling)

Sometimes, we feel hopeless when we’re in a bad marriage. You wonder if it is ever possible to rediscover the good relationship you had in the beginning. The answer is yes, but you have to put in some work.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have the financial means to go to counseling. However, if you do, I would suggest that as a first step.

Even if this is not an option, here are some steps you can try:

1. Take a Good Look at Yourself

It takes two to tango. I’m sure you’ve heard that saying before. In other words, problems in a relationship are rarely the sole responsibility of just one person.

Take a look at your behaviors and speculate how they might have contributed to the state of your marriage.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Own Actions

Now that you know what you did to contribute to your marital problems, own up to them. Tell your spouse how you feel, and then commit to changing your behavior immediately.

3. Be Honest with Yourself and Your Spouse

Sometimes it’s easier to put your head in the sand and ignore the problems. But your marriage won’t get any better if you do this!

Sit down and be honest with yourself about the state of the marriage. Then, take your feelings to your spouse and have a deep, heart-to-heart talk.

4. Have a Talk

This is an obvious step, but it needs to be done. You can’t map out a plan for the future if you don’t even talk about your problems to begin with.

5. Each Partner Explains His/Her Perception of the Problems

Perception is reality. In other words, your spouse probably sees the marriage in a very different way than you do. So, you need to listen to your partner’s point of view.

6. Just Listen

While your spouse is explaining their point of view, just listen to them. Don’t talk. Don’t interrupt them. Instead, stay calm and don’t get defensive.

7. Make a List of Things That Both People Want to Change

In order to rebuild your marriage, things obviously need to change – on both sides. So, both of you need to write down, and talk about, what needs to be changed in the marriage.

8. Write out a “Contract”

It’s easy for people to say they are going to change, but it’s another thing for them to actually follow through with it. So, it’s best to write a “contract” between the two of you and sign it. This shows commitment to each other for change.

9. Spend Quality Time Together

You can’t rebuild your marriage if you aren’t spending time together! It seems obvious, but you need to rediscover each other, and spending quality time talking and doing things is imperative.

10. Ditch the Technology

Believe it or now, technology is a huge culprit in the downfall of relationships. Whether it’s the TV, cell phone, or video games, spending too much time with technology and not each other is the kiss of death. Make sure you put that down and talk to each other on a regular basis.

Can You Fix a Broken Marriage Alone?

This is a very common question that I am asked, which does not have an easy answer. In fact, my first instinct is to answer “it cannot be done.” I truly do believe it takes two committed people to rebuild a marriage. However, if you don’t have a willing spouse, you can try these steps if you are desperate enough to try to go it alone:

Take a Look Back at What Happened in the Marriage

Do a “relationship autopsy.” In other words, how did the marriage die? Just like a literal dead body is dissected after death, you can look at your marriage and see what went wrong.

If you find that a lot of the causes were because of YOU, then you can change your actions.

Notice Any Common Patterns That Have Emerged over the Years

Relationships always develop patterns. Some are good, and some are bad. So, you need to look for recurring themes in your marriage that may have gotten you into trouble. Once you identify them, try something new instead of repeating the same actions in the future.

Final Thoughts

Rebuilding a marriage is not easy, but it can be done. The easiest way to have a healthy relationship is to not let it break down in the first place. However, since that’s not an option, all the tips in this article will definitely put you both on the path to resurrecting what was lost.

Source: Lifehack

In Editor's Choice January 21, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Blessing Timidi Digha: The Canadian Feminist Helping Women Find Their Voice

Blessing Timidi Digha has a wealth of knowledge when it comes to Female Genital Mutilation. She is a Community Based Researcher with over twenty years of experience working on issues centered around Gender Based Violence.

Blessing does a lot of counselling around Sexual Reproductive Health and Rights and she is very vast at the work she does. She works with individuals, communities, stakeholders, gatekeepers, organizations and most importantly, Policy makers using community mobilization and engagement techniques for the purpose of social justice.

She has played different roles in the success of different policies in Nigeria, Africa, and Canada either through high level meetings, sensitization, training, contributions .

One thing that makes Blessing happy is seeing the young feminists she has mentored over the years make giant strides and contribute to the conversations, policies and rights of girls and women globally.

She works part time with the Nigerian community in Canada providing support, client management, and referrals in a prominent non-profit organization and works in the movie industry building and rigging sets.

In this interview, the fearless feminists share her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere

Childhood Influence

My childhood prepared me for what I do now, everything has added up to this moment and the future to come. I grew up in Kaduna alternating between my parents and grand aunt’s house. I grew up having people advocate for me and most importantly giving me room to advocate for myself. Asides church and school, both parties always ensured I picked up a skill or joined extracurricular activities like the famous Space2000, sports learning instruments etc., I did not always like it but every skill I have picked up along the way has contributed to my life. I also had my rebellious phase.

My Passion For Sexual Reproductive Health And Rights (SRHR)

When I was ten or so, one of the sisters in church was seen with a brother in church. Guess who everyone had smoke for? The sister. I remember asking why Bros J was exempted and the answers did not make sense to me at the time, but I also remember my mom sticking up for her and saying if she was going to get punished then he too had to be punished (my mom faced her own share of criticism for this move). It stayed with me for a long time. Then I got pregnant as a teenager and that experience changed my life forever.

From trying to get an abortion and deciding against it because of how dirty and scary the place was among other reasons, the stigma, my parents having to stand up for me, registering and attending antenatal, teenagers confiding in me, me starting a sexuality education club launched me fully into SRHR. The more I worked and related with people, the more the scope of what I was doing increased.

I was just doing my thing in one small corner in Ogbomosho and boom, I was growing, learning, unlearning, and rising through the ranks. People wanted to listen to me not just because I had professional experience but here, I was, a living experience of how SRHR impacts girls and women.

One experience that has also stayed with me and I have talked about this a lot is talking to secondary school students about abstinence and this student stands up and asks me what about those who were already sexually active, don’t they deserve information, resources, services, and support.

Managing My Role As A Feminist, Advocate, Storyteller And Community Based Researcher

Thankfully, all these roles intersect, managing these roles comes with a lot of listening, confidentiality, unpacking my personal biases, humility, passion, learning, unlearning, field work, talking, data, taking up and giving space to others.

Journey Since I Became An Advocate

Fulfilling. Very fulfilling. It has its difficulties and takes a lot from one individually and as a collective, but it is very fulfilling. I have learnt so much and in the same vein, I have contributed so much to conversations, policies etc. globally. Feedback, especially when someone comes back to say something you said or did contribute to xyz in my life, it gives drive to do more. When I am quoted in certain rooms and data, it makes the work worth it. The women saved from abusive situations, girls & women saved from FGM, the policies, research, movements one has been and is a part of among others all add up.

My Thoughts On FGM As It Relates To Africa, Especially Nigeria

We still have a long way to go with Female Genital Mutilation in Nigeria and Africa as a whole, yes I admit that progress is being made but there is still a long way to go especially as FGM is now becoming more medicalized (carried out by more medical practitioners to argue for its safety) and type 4 becoming more rampant (Type IV includes pricking, piercing, incising, scraping, cauterization, nicking of the clitoris, burning or scarring the genitals, introducing substances into the vagina to tighten it, Labia stretching among others). We need to go beyond the beautiful laws we have on paper to effective implementation and systems in place.

My Work In the Non-Profit Sector

I work in a non-profit organization providing client management, support, referrals, information, and services to the Nigerian community. Initially, the role catered to Nigerian women providing a safe space for conversations and interventions, but we eventually expanded the role to cater for the entire community – men, women, young people etc. . The lessons I have learnt is that first, a lot of Nigerians associate shame and stigma with accessing numerous services especially if they are free or government provided/subsidized and so I get to be creative and meet people where they are to ensure they access these services. Second, Nigerians are not unlearning certain mindsets when they migrate and get in trouble because of it.

Importance Of Therapy To Healing

Therapy is very important to healing. It helps you hold up a mirror to see yourself. You can have Jesus, Allah, Ifa , and still see a therapist or psychiatrist. Therapy helps you unpack so much in a safe environment, but you must be willing to put in the work. Therapy is work, I always tell people “If you are going to lie to your therapist (or psychiatrist), then maybe you should not be in therapy.” Therapy is work, there are days where you will scream your lungs out, shed ugly tears, keep silent, sleep off etc but it is important. There are also certain milestones or experiences in your life that will demand that you go for therapy e.g., divorce, loss associated with death, migration.

Challenges

Boundaries, Pedestals, unnecessary/unrealistic expectations and demands.

Other Projects And Activities

I work part time on movie sets doing construction and electricity, I love it so much. It is exciting to be a part of building and taking sets down especially the finished products when I can recognize the locations. I watch certain movies I have been a part of and smile from the cockle of my heart.

I studied Food Science and Engineering in the university, and it is always refreshing to apply the knowledge from all those mechanical and electrical electives on set. I do content creation on women’s issues and lots of consultancy on these issues. I am also into research as a freelance researcher while transitioning into academia. The thing is that I am a creative, so I have my hands full with a lot of projects and activities as an individual and through collaborations.

I am currently setting up my home studio so I can record with ease and at any time. Who knows, in the future, people can get to use the studio but for now, it is mine to use. I have gone back to my pole dancing classes, I started pole dancing as a form of fun and exercise during the pandemic and stopped when everything shut down, I am back at it now.

What Do You Enjoy Most About Your Job

The fact that I am doing something that impacts another girl and woman positively. The versatility of the job is also intriguing, you can be anything you can to be with the right experience and education.

Three Women Who Inspire Me And Why

* My Mom– She is a go getter, always working to get better in her personal and professional life

* Me– I am learning to blow my own trumpet and I have put in work, passion, and time to impact lives plus I keep showing up every day despite all life has thrown at me.

* Bola Aramowo-Badejo– go getter per excellence, she grounds me, tells me the truth even when I do not want to hear it. She inspires me to get a PhD and be the best in my fields.

What We Can Do Better As A Society To Support Women In Abusive Relationships

The society needs to do better about stigmatizing women in abusive relationships, laws and policies should cover the different scopes of abuse not just physical abuse, government led initiatives must be readily available. For example, shelter systems, rapid responses (private led initiatives should complement existing government structures not the other way round).

One Thing I Wish To Change In The Development Sector

Better pay. The development sector does not pay enough for the work people do and this impacts a lot of the outcomes we see. It is not enough to ask people to come with passion, passion does not pay the bills, money pays the bills. Another thing will be the gatekeeping especially of the younger ones, the fact that someone is younger does not take away from the expertise they have.

One Thing People Do Not Know About Me

I am an introvert to the core, though because of work and other factors I have been able to work on my people skills and communication, but introversion is my default state. I am also very shy which is funny because I get to talk a lot. I love kickboxing.

Being A Woman Of Rubies

I put my best into whatever it is I am doing and build tables and bridges for others especially other girls and women.

In Career Gems January 22, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Sade Muhammad Appointed As Chief Marketing Officer of TIME Magazine

Sade Muhammad has been named Chief Marketing Officer of TIME. In this role, Muhammad will oversee the brand’s integrated marketing, customer success, branded content, and communications, as well as TIME’s newly created impact division.

As TIME begins its centennial year, this appointment marks the first time the brand has named a CMO since becoming an independent company in 2018 under the ownership of Co-Chairs Lynne and Marc Benioff. As CMO, Muhammad will focus on invigorating the TIME brand for the next 100 years and accelerating TIME’s digital transformation and growth opportunities.

“We are thrilled to welcome Sade Muhammad, who has a proven track record of innovation, revenue generation, and building trust with audiences,” said TIME CEO Jessica Sibley. “As TIME enters a pivotal moment in its 100-year history, Sadé’s background as a marketer, trained journalist, and changemaker makes her the perfect person to lead TIME as our Chief Marketing Officer.”

“My passion is harnessing the power of authentic brands to get audiences to listen and, in turn, unlock their unique power to affect change,” said Muhammad. “TIME is one of the world’s most trusted storytellers and I am thrilled to bring our partners’ stories to life with imaginative ideas to inspire a smarter, better marketplace.”

Muhammad joins TIME from Forbes and brings over a decade of experience in marketing and innovating advertising products to the role. Most recently, she founded Forbes’ Representation & Inclusion Practice, an award-winning B2B ad business which encouraged marketing partners to broadcast DEI as an underpinning to their company’s growth strategy, after identifying a gap in thought leadership around equity and inclusion in company design.

Muhammad led all business development, sales and marketing strategy, client relations, and execution of sponsorships for the Practice.

Muhammad graduated BSc, Cum Laude, in Magazine Journalism from Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University and was honored as one of the International News Media Association’s 30 Under 30 for Achievement in Advertising. She began her career at NBC as part of the NBC Page Program.

The appointment of Sadé Muhammad as Chief Marketing Officer aligns with a period of record growth for TIME, including the launch of six new divisions: the Emmy Award-winning film and television division TIME Studios that has generated more than $100 million in revenue; a rapidly growing global live events business built around its iconic TIME100 and Person of the Year franchises; an industry-leading web3 division including the TIMEPieces NFT community; Red Border Studios, producer of award-winning branded content; the website-building platform TIME Sites, which TIME acquired earlier this year; and the sustainability and climate-action platform CO2 by TIME.

Today, TIME reaches the largest audience in its history—more than 100 million people around the world across its platforms—and its iconic magazine, with more than 1.3 million subscribers, remains the largest U.S. print title in news.

In Inspiration January 17, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Meet Major Mandisa Nomcebo Mfeka, South Africa’s First Black Female Fighter Pilot

Major Mandisa Nomcebo Mfeka was born and raised in Ntuzuma township, KwaZulu-Natal. She realised her love for aviation when she was 5 years old.

She joined the South African Air Force (SAAF), in 2008 and in 2010 she started flying at the Central Flying School in Langebaan; in 2011 she got her wings.

At age 29, Major Mfeka grabbed headlines as she swooped over the Loftus Versfeld Stadium at the South African President Cyril Ramaphosa’s inauguration as part of the Hawks formation.

Major Mfeka says her journey as a Combat Pilot really shifted her perspective about what aviation and what being a military practitioner looked like. Nonetheless, she believes that becoming a Combat Pilot has been an amazing experience.

Speaking about her journey to becoming a combat pilot, Major Mfeka said, “It has been an amazing experience. This is such a dynamic environment and so mentally stimulating. I love it because I’m growing in my technical expertise and learning more about aerodynamics.”

Major Mfeka joins the ranks of another female pioneer, Second Lieutenant Thokozile Muwamba, who also made history in 2017 by becoming Zambia’s first female fighter pilot.

At the time Muwamba told the local newspaper Times of Zambia, “Men are not the competition but counterparts that one should work with. Women should begin to participate and realise their abilities. Because of this understanding, I am ready to undertake the task ahead of me. “

‘I look at the fact that when I am in the aeroplane, the aircraft knows no sex. Everything depends on my input, no matter my gender.” She said.

One quote that Major Mfeka lives by is, “The sky is the baseline.” Which means, the excellence bar that you pushed yesterday should be your starting point, tomorrow.

We celebrate you Major Mfeka