Jada Pinkett-Smith has joined the now growing list of celebrities who have come to speak out since the now famous #SurvivingRKelly documentary hit the internet and for her, she is surprised at folks buying his music.

In a video shared via her Twitter page on Sunday, January 6, 2018, the movie star and mother of two expressed her shocked at the increasing rate of sales of R.Kelly’s music, since the documentary where women came out to speak about the pains they went through in his hands.

”So I got an article about how R.Kelly’s music sales have spiked substantially since the release of surviving R.Kelly documentary series and I’m having a really difficult time understanding why but it is important that I understand why. I really would like for you guys to make me understand what I am missing, if I’m missing something that I don’t necessarily agree with, I just want to understand what I’m missing. So you can sound off below and that would be great and we can continue the conversation…and I really don’t want to believe that black girls don’t matter enough or that the reason? So let me know, happy Sunday,” she said.

It is well known that in the world of music, a number of reasons spikes off the increase in sales of music from artists which includes, death and just like the situation, a big controversy.

 

Credit: Pulse

“A common saying states that; “You attract who you are” and a lot of ladies wonder, how come they’re attracting players into their lives  when they don’t do the same.

I understand that you may have these questions and thoughts in your mind like:

  1. I am a good girl but I keep attracting men that want to rape me. Does it mean I’m a rapist too?
  2. I try to spend all of my income on my girlfriends yet they always end up using me. Am I guilty of the same offense?
  3. Why is it only married men that come after me? What have I done to deserve that?

My answer:

You don’t have to be a player or rapist to attract one but you can be projecting a part of you that attracts such men.

Let’s look into life of Monique for an example.

Monique was raped at the age of 8 and she developed a quick hatred for men following that incident. At the age of 10, when she went visiting her uncle. His friend molested her yet she could not tell anyone. Her parents were the busy and absent type and even when they came around, they were usually fighting or shutting her down which made her develop low self-esteem.

She grew wishing she didn’t come to that family and she also hated God for making the rape happen. When she got into the university, she became difficult for men to talk to yet she was very pretty. Some cult guys in the school that tried chasing her decided to set her up for a rape again at age 20. At this point, she was done for. She became bitter. She went ahead to join a girls cult and became a lesbian too. Her aim was to gun down men that try to get at her or punish her rapist in the best way possible.

After she graduated, she had to go for her NYSC, get a job and start her life all over. Monique had also lost some of her gangs in the final year while she was in school. All through school, she never dated any man. She joined a church later on after much persuasion from her neighbor and she got better by the day.

The only problem she had was that, she still had her secrets. She had not worked on herself or sorted things out. Most of the men that came around her were either touchy or requesting for sex at the first date. What could be wrong?

She was trying to run from the kinds of men that raped her but it wasn’t working that way.

Monique has to undergo an emotional therapy that can help her understand what happened in her past, change the meanings attached to her experience, spot out the positive reasons behind her past, forgive herself for the hurts, forgive the rapist which is very difficult but possible, forgive her parents for their kind of parenting, seek completeness in God, release the total experience and start a new journey.

Now, it sounds easy to write but it is a long journey to activate. Why is this necessary?

For every experience you have had, there is always a belief system you create around them which forms your perception. All of these reality becomes your model of the world.

Monique must have created beliefs like; “All men are bad”, “All men are rapist”, “Parents are always too busy”, “Any man coming around wants sex” etc. As little as these beliefs sounds, they determine your decisions and destiny.

The law of projection works with the beliefs in your subconscious mind which is the main reason why you need to undergo a process of recovery, transformation and repositioning. If you don’t, you will keep attracting the unhealthy beliefs you have.

As tough as she thought she was, she was insecure, had low self-esteem and didn’t see any worth in herself. As much as she projected that image behind her expensive dress, insecure men came around and tried to touch her too. It works in a mysterious way.

If you are a plus size, you may keep thinking that you cannot meet a man that can appreciate your size, you may be forced to start begging a man to stick with you.

“If your mind believes that it is impossible to attract a man that is not a rapist, that will be the reality.”

This is why when I engage my coaching clients, I start with the vision they want in a relationship or marriage and then tackle what the problem is. It usually stems from the mindset. There’s usually a fault in the belief system or an emotional trauma.

When I was younger, my uncles lived with us and almost every day, I kept hearing about their sexcapades with girls and I developed a thick skin against players, the truth is, for so long, I kept attracting men that wanted to sleep with me. It was a struggle actually.

Anything you try to run from can end up being your reality.

So what should you do? Seek for professional help that can help you identify and eliminate the wrong beliefs and experiences. You deserve the best relationship ever.

 

About Nike

Nike Adedokun Folagbade helps singles build healthy relationships via break up, dating and relationships coaching.

Her goal is to help many singles recover from heartbreaks, attract and keep the right partner and build healthy relationships.

She has been featured in numerous magazines, newspaper, television and radio programs like Channels, The Punch, Business Day News, CoreTv, The guardian, City fm, Happenings Radio amongst others.

Her Facebook group, The Right Partner Community is targeted at helping one single at a time achieve their relationship milestone. She blogs at www.nikefolagbade.com and can be reached via adenikeadedokun@gmail.com or hello@nikefolagbade.com

 

Job seekers everywhere like to be prepared before they step into any interview room. Whether you are new to the job seeking pool or you are an experienced hire, the aim is always to get the interviewer to like you and believe you are the best fit for the job. This is where people begin to wish they could tell the future or at least read minds. Well, there might be a way to help.

A study of interviewers from different businesses shows some sort of pattern in what the person(s) at the other end of the table hope to learn about you before they let you join their firm or client’s firm. Although most of the questions are now being asked on the application form, we have put together 8 of them which are still frequently asked, along with simple tips on what your interviewer expects to hear.

Can we know more about you?
Actually, this doesn’t come as a question. You will most likely be asked to say something that they can’t already see on the resume with the cue “tell me about yourself”. As much as you might want to give a biography, employers expect something simple and precise. There isn’t much time to go over some family history and what you have been doing for the past decade or half of it. Practicing a personal pitch helps a great deal with this question. A good pitch will focus on your professional self and achievements you’ve made. Achievements related to the role you are seeking are the best to put forward.

Why do you want to this role?
This question gives you an opportunity to show enthusiasm about the job you have applied for. Employers want to hire someone that loves what they do. Having passion for a role and the dynamics of the job are strong points you are ready for the job. Also, if the question didn’t come separately, it is also a nice opportunity to mention why you want the job at their firm particularly – maybe they are building something revolutionary or you just like the company culture.

What is your greatest strength/weakness?
In responding to this, it is important to share job relevant skills that you actually have, as most times you will be asked how you have demonstrated them in previous roles or general life situations. In speaking about weaknesses, your potential employer expects you to show honesty by expressing something (again, relevant to the job) that you are not great at. They also expect to hear how you are working to get better at it.

What is your biggest professional achievement?
This is another opportunity to pitch yourself. Most interviewers take the response to this question as a reason to hire you. Interviewers expect specificity. They want to hear about real and measurable accomplishments, especially ones that you could replicate if you were hired by their firm. It is best to choose milestones that are not just specific to your previous role but something most businesses can relate to such as sales milestones in record time, setting up a new supply chain strategy or project management excellence.

  Describe a time you showed leadership.

People talk about this as the ‘when’ question. Most interviewers are specific with what form of leadership skills they are looking out for and proceed with questions to discover if you possess those skills. The question usually comes in the line of; “can you tell me about a time when you…?” Most times, employers want to know about conflict resolution skills, team management, time management and more. This question can showcase your leadership style. In responding, give enough details but not too much to bore the interviewer and then proceed to state in clear terms what you did, the outcome and what it meant for your team or the business generally.

Why are you leaving your current employment?
Employers want to be sure they are hiring the right person. This question helps them understand a bit about what your professional life is about. Are you in the process of changing career paths? Were you sacked? Are you looking for a new challenge? Do you feel they are offering a bigger pay? Be honest and positive. Do not go ahead to say how you think your previous employer was terrible or lie about being laid off. Saying you were laid off might be the right thing to do because you don’t want this new employer finding out on their own. In expressing reason for leaving, your career growth is always a strong point.

What is your salary expectation?
This is not a blank cheque. It is not. People have missed opportunities despite impressing with every response just because a potential employer felt they couldn’t pay them. To be prepared for this question, know what people in similar or exact roles earn, give your potential employer a range and be open to reasonable negotiation. It’s okay to measure your worth against your experience and skills but try not to come off as being too focused on the pay.

Do you have a question for me?
An interview is a discussion not an interrogation. Interviewers understand this which is why they focus on making interviews interactive and even give you the opportunity to ask them questions. This question is an opportunity to understand more about the company or ask questions that help you know how things are around the company. Asking your interviewer what he enjoys most about his role might throw more light about life at the company, even helping you know the business from the inside.

These questions are very likely questions at your next interview. Preparing for them gives you an edge. The job market is becoming more competitive on a daily basis. Your ability to convince an interviewer that you have the skills they need is very important. Understanding what is expected and giving great responses brings you closer to your dream job and firsthand shows you have good communication skills. Stay confident with your responses and keep a smart smile. Best wishes at the next interview.

P.S: Always be prepared for a brainteaser too. If you think I missed anything, please let me know in the comment section below.
Follow us on LinkedIn Medium & Twitter for more tips and job opportunities.

Zaynab Alkali is a Nigerian novelist, poet, short story writer and is regarded as the first woman novelist from Northern Nigeria.

Born in Tura-Wazila in Borno State, she graduated from Bayero University Kano with in 1973 and  obtained a doctorate degree in African Literature in English in 1979.

She became the principal of Sakera Girls’ boarding school and went on to be a lecturer in English at two universities in Nigeria. She rose to be a dean in the Faculty of arts at Nasarawa State University in Keffi where she taught creative writing.

Although, Zaynab writes to empower women economically, politically and psychologically, that was not her focus when she started. She was a very bad speaker and had a phobia for public appearance.

“I actually started writing because I discovered that when I was in school and the teacher asked questions, I had the answers, especially in literature, but I was too petrified to put up my hand. So I would right the answers down. Soon, one of the teachers, who happened to be a European, noticed that whenever I had an assignment in literature, I would score an A or B+. Yet, my hand was never up in class,” she told Punch in an interview.

By the time she was 20 years old, married and still a student, she started writing but the stories weren’t for publication. She was just writing to express herself.

Even though she didn’t plan to publish her work, she gave an expatriate, who called for  submission of short stories her manuscript and begged him not to show anyone, but, the expatriate went on to read one of the stories read on the British Broadcasting Corporation.

 

For Zaynab, writing is therapeutic. “Unlike some people who have said that they do not write because of any trauma in their lives, I think that writing has been the only thing that has helped me to pull through a lot of things, including depression. I  suffered severe depression in the past. But whenever it happened, I would sit down,” she said.

 

At first, she wrote only for her own pleasure and benefit. But, when she started getting positive reviews and comments in the newspapers, she had to change her mind.

Last year, my daughter saw me scribbling fast on my notepad and wanted to know what I was up to. I told her about my New Year resolutions and she was interested in writing hers, said Rita Bada, lead speaker for a teens-based outfit called Riospeaks.

“So, together, we embarked on a project of writing her New Year resolutions. She wrote down things she wanted to accomplish the next year and how to accomplish them. So far, she did accomplish most of them and I am glad we did it together.”

According to history, the ancient Babylonians are said to have been the first people to make New Year resolutions, some 4000 years ago. New Year resolutions have to do with making goals that we want to carry out in a new year. In summary, they are promises we make in order to live a better life. It is not enough to make resolutions. We must state the objectives of that goal.

The foremost teen coach stressed that children are certainly not left out, “I believe that great things start with small beginnings and as such children should be encouraged to start now so that as they grow older, it becomes a part of them. There is no better time than now to teach your children why and when they should write their New Year resolutions. From an early age, it teaches them to be purpose driven, focused and goal-oriented. This goes with them as they grow into adulthood.

Bada noted that when her daughter wrote down her resolutions, she pasted it on the wall and it was a constant reminder of what she was supposed to do from time to time. It guarded her daily actions because she had a column where she ticked done after she had accomplished any, and where she missed one she tried to make up for it. This really helped her to understand the importance of goal- setting.

It is important that parents guide their children in making New Year resolutions by intentionally having a simple conversation about it and then help them put it into writing with colourful descriptions and pictures. An example is, if the goal is to live a healthier life, then state when and how many times, snacks is taken to school in a week.

Here are five simple tips to help you and your child in keeping your New Year resolution.

Be Realistic: When setting New Year resolutions, be realistic. Do not set goals you know your child cannot attain. Make smart (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely) goals.

Outline your plan: After you must have decided on the goal, it is important that you outline steps that will help in achieving that goal. For example, if your child wants to be the best in his class, then there is a need to draw up a personal timetable and reduce TV time or time spent on social media.

Track your progress: It is important to have an assessment tool. Find a way of measuring your child’s success from time to time. You might need to talk to his teacher about his performance, constantly review homework together and find better ways to improve.

Celebrate small wins: There is a need to constantly reward your child when you see improvements especially in the achievement of their New Year resolutions. Get a small gift or take him out. This will further boost his morale to do more and stay motivated.

Stick to it: Sometimes, it’s easy for children to lose focus. It is our duty as parents to guide them through the process of achieving their New Year resolutions by encouraging them always.

Bada noted that children should be allowed to make age appropriate resolutions; an example is you cannot expect your five-year old to wash the toilet, but you can expect him to tidy his room by making sure all his toys are neatly kept away. “I want to urge every parent out there to remember that when it comes to resolution, it is important to lead by example.”

Source: Guardian Woman

Njeri Rionge, one of Africa’s most celebrated entrepreneurs, used to work as a hairdresser and a yogurt vendor. When she saw a business opportunity, she immediately acted on it, made it grow and became one of the very few pioneers in the technology sector. In fact, one of her several successful companies, the Wananchi Group, is now worth over $173 million!

“I believe that success is defined by increased value — not simply financial rewards,” Rionge once said and she continues to demonstrate that throughout her own entrepreneurial career.

Humble beginnings

At age 19, Rionge started her first business of selling yogurt from a friend’s car trunk to two schools in Kenya over their school breaks. They would go to another town to stock up on their products and return to school every day to sell it.

Around that time also, Rionge also worked in a salon as a hairdresser. In her line of work, she realized a business opportunity in selling luxury products to her wealthy clients. She regularly flew to London using discounted airplane tickets. There, she would buy luxury goods and re-sell them to her clients for a profit.

A leap of faith

During the 1990s, many people didn’t have any idea about technology and the Internet yet but Rionge already saw a great opportunity to make it accessible to the general public. In the year 2000, she co-founded East Africa’s first mass-market oriented Internet Service Provider called Wananchi Online, which is a Swahili word meaning ‘citizen’ or ‘the people. It made Internet connectivity affordable for the average household for the first time.

As one of the very few pioneers in the ICT sector, Wananchi sure faced challenges including industry regulators, government monopoly, existing competition, and even the firm belief that Internet was only for the upper class. But despite it all, she grew the business from a $500,000 startup business to East Africa’s leading and largest ISP worth over $173 million.

Continuous success

Because of her passion for creating businesses, she continued launching numerous companies that are becoming successful one after another. She founded Ignite Consulting, a business consultancy firm; Ignite Lifestyle, a health care consultancy firm; Insite, a digital marketing company; and Business Lounge, Kenya’s leading startup incubator.

“I create companies serially because I believe that Africa is the next economic frontier and we must build indigenous organizations that will support this growth,” she said.

Aside from building companies, she also builds dreams that ignite the potential of other entrepreneurs. She invests more on Business Lounge to help start-up entrepreneurs develop their ideas into successful businesses. She also provides motivational speaking and coaching to encourage future entrepreneurs through sharing her wisdom and experiences under her personal brand Njeri Rionge.

With over three decades of experience in leadership and management, Rionge is definitely a perfect inspiration for other entrepreneurs. She encourages them to be resilient as she believes that resilience, or having a strong backbone that can handle challenges, is the key to successful entrepreneurship.

Source:Black business

Apply mosturizer to your face before applying foundation so as to retain moisture to your skin.

Cover problem spots with concealer, not foundation. Using a foundation to conceal spots, acne, etc, will make your face to look lighter and unnatural.

Choose a shadow color that is the opposite of your eye color. Use a shadow color opposite your eye color to bring out the beauty of your eyes.

Heavy makeup makes one look more older, so apply less makeup. Remember, less is more!

Dab a bit of shea butter, vaseline, or lip gloss to your lips, to give your mouth a fuller look.

For rough and dry skin, exfoliate with orange. Just cut an orange into two halves and rub on the affected areas.

Get rid of under eye circles with green teabags. Place cold tea bags under the eyes for ten minutes.

For fuller eyelashes, massage eyelashes with castor oil.

Most importantly, drink a lot of water and live a healthy lifestyle.

 

credits: cosmopolitan

google.com

 

 

Democrat Nancy Pelosi has officially been elected the speaker of the US House, CNN reports.

Pelosi, the first and only woman to occupy the position (her first time was from 2007 to 2011), defeated the Republican nominee Kevin McCarthy, winning 220 votes.

Pelosi who had served as the House minority leader, replaces Republican Paul Ryan.

McCarthy, who is now the House minority leader as the Democrats now have the highest number of Reps, welcomed the lawmakers to the 116th Congress and introduced Pelosi. He said:

Today marks a new chapter in this House pursuit of a more perfect union. The country knows Nancy Pelosi as an experienced leader with three decades of service in Congress, a fighter for her causes and a true trail blazer. Even when we disagree with one another completely, it is important to remember that we are bounded together in a common cause, our love for America.

In her first speech as Speaker, Pelosi said, according to CNN:

We have no illusions that our work will be easy and that all of us in this chamber will always agree, but let each of us pledge that when we disagree, we respect each other and we respect the truth.

We will debate in advance good ideas no matter where they come from, and in that spirit, Democrats will be offering the Senate Republican appropriations legislation to reopen government later today

When our new members take the oath, our Congress will be refreshed and our democracy will be strengthened by their optimism, idealism and patriotism of this transformative freshman class. Congratulations to all of you in the freshman class. Working together we will redeem the promise of the American dream for every family, advancing progress for every community.

Photo Credit: Mark Wilson/Getty Images

 

Credit: Bella Naija

At just thirteen years old, Lexi Proctor launched her own hair care line, Curlanista, because she wanted girls to feel empowered to wear their natural curls proudly. Her brand most recently received the top honor in the Sally Beauty Cultivate Program where they won $25,000 in funding and support to help grow their business.

Lexi is a beautiful girl with natural curls. But she felt otherwise when she was bullied about her hair. She even tried straightening her curls up to the point of damaging it just so the bullies would stop.

Eventually, she learned how to embrace her natural hair and encouraged others to do the same thing. It’s what inspired her to create homemade blends from what she learned as a STEM student. Her brand, Curlanista, definitely promotes healthy, curly hair and self-love.

“I wanted to build this brand to help other girls going through what I went through. I want them to not only love who they are but know that what other people say doesn’t matter,” Lexi told Hello Beautiful.

Her ideas are what made her win the Sally Beauty Cultivate “For Women by Women” accelerator program. Curlanista will receive $25,000 in financial support, product distribution at SallyBeauty.com, select local store distribution in Maryland and Virginia, mentorship from the Sally Beauty management team and fellow female brand entrepreneurs, among others.

Moreover, Lexi looks up to successful Black women such as Beyonce and Oprah, but she said it’s her mother Monica Proctor, who is also the brand’s co-founder, that really pushed her to dream big.

“My mom is literally my biggest cheerleader. I thank her because she has given me so many opportunities to try out different interests and experience new things,” she said. “I have so much confidence because of her. When times get hard she pushes me to not give up and even offers to help me when she can.

As a young entrepreneur, Lexi is continuously learning. She is being hands-on with the business while at the same time prioritizing her studies. She said, “If I have a homework assignment or project due I make sure I get that done first because education is my priority. Then I work on my business each day even if its a 15 minute post I write to make sure I engage with my followers.”

Lexi encourages other young entrepreneurs to show hard work, consistency, and dedication to be taken seriously in the adult-dominated business world. She added, “You will be amazed at what you can do if you don’t give up.”

One of academias most intractable problems is gender distribution and representation.

The number of accomplished women though appreciably increasing in recent year is a barb, compared to their male counterparts.

Even in religious circles, restrictions are enforced on the extent to which a woman ‘owns’ the space.

And the list is endless…

This discovery is not new, I am only jostled by recent research outcome on women participation in seminars.

Findings reveal that women ask the least questions.

This makes me wonder and think about the struggle against patriarchy.

A seminar is a for-all kind of participation except if there are specific dictates against it. Particularly in the academia where participants are not only learned, but also usually have strong arguments and opinions on issues.

I am forced to think, that as much as we favor patriarchy in discourses of gender relations and participation in various fields, perhaps, there is an innate disposition of a woman, to be less confrontational.

This line of thoughts amongst other more acclaimed arguments bordering on physical attributes, emotional relations etc sits to juxtapose all reasoning of gender equality.

As research evolves, new line of thoughts are provoked. Maybe the fight to adopt in this present time is the one for human rights.

Gender equality in all its complexities continues to unveil limitless dimensions.

While you are sweating it, trying to convince the unlettered, perhaps, your argument would hold more water if there’s a human right slant to it.