There is no doubt that the advent of social media has brought it with many welcomed and some not so welcomed developments. Social media platforms have revolutionised the way we stay in touch with each other and it has become an integral part of the daily life of many.

While there are many positive roles played by social media, it has many setbacks as recent reports have said that over- or misuse of social media can have a negative impact on self-esteem and mental health, particularly among younger users.

So how and when might social media use be detrimental to our mental wellbeing?

Addiction

One piece of research posited that tweeting or checking emails may be ‘harder to resist than cigarettes and alcohol’. The more social media use becomes an important part of our daily routine, the more we may become too emotionally and psychologically dependent on it. Asides that, addiction to social media affects our everyday relationships, sleep hygiene, or our performance at work or in our studies.

The Fear of Missing Out (FoMO) Factor

Getting into the habit of checking social media at any available time may lead to us checking on impulse. This can lead to us never really switching off or taking time to relax. Many social media users today live in the fear of missing out on an update from a friend or celebrity causing them to constantly check their social media platforms at all available given times.

Comparison

One thing that makes social media fun is that we get to have a glimpse into the lives of others and keep up to date with them. However, being in constant contact with the lives of others can lead to critical comparison leading to feelings to insecurity. We forget that most of what we see on social media platforms are carefully selected and filtered content and we aspire to unrealistic expectations.

Loneliness

One study has suggested that the more frequently you visit social networking sites the more likely you are to feel socially isolated. However, like many of the studies exploring the effects of social media on mental health, it is difficult to pinpoint causation.

Cyberbullying

One major headache of social networking is the issue of cyber or online bullying. 70 percent of young people and 40 percent of adults say that they have experienced some form of cyberbullying. The Royal Society for Public Health says that victims of bullying are more likely to experience depression, anxiety and even self-harm.

Anxiety and depression

One study has reported that simultaneous use of multiple social networking sites led users to be more likely to report feelings of anxiety or depression. Those that already have difficulties with anxiety, problems such as body dysmorphic disorder and low self-esteem issues may be compounded by social media.’

By: AKINWALE AKINYOADE for Guardian

#Part 3

When you look at your kid or your ward or someone younger that you ae somehow responsible for, you want them to look at you are be proud. You always want them to be able to see in you the perfect example. Ask any parent – what drives you? You’d hear stuff like, “I want to give my kids a good example, I want them to look up to me, I want to show them that they can achieve anything they set their minds to” and who wouldn’t want to do or be all these things?

But parents, you need to take some pressure off yourself too. Even Superman needs a little Clark Kent time once in a while – we like to think we can do and be everything for our kids’ but the truth is – we can’t. Guess what? the kids don’t expect us to either.

I remember growing up, my mum was everything rolled into one and some days I just wanted her to rest. I saw what it was doing to her attempting all questions with 5 children every single day. Not easy.

I would understand if she could not be there for me at a time because she just needed to do HER but she never let up and many of you might never let up either. Maybe it’s how we were made – who knows?

Here’s what I want you to take from this –

Every parent wants to be their childs’ hero, they want to be the one their kids look up to but trust me when I tell you it’s better to just be honest with them. Tell the truth, they will understand.

Sometimes as parents we have to make tough decisions – sometimes we need to live away from our families for work or school or whatever. It sucks but telling them the truth helps them understand instead of just cope.

So, you can’t make the school game this week. Say, “Baby, I can’t make your school game on Friday ok – I am really sorry and I promise I’ll try to be at your next one – I’ll get your teacher to record it for me and we’ll watch it together at home, ok?”

 

That is so much better than promising them you’ll show up when you know – you really won’t be there.

Everyone loves a hero, but no one loves a liar and if you can’t be a hero, at least be honest.

 

You will disappoint them more by your lies rather than your truths. The truth you tell might hurt for the moment but the pain of lies can last a lifetime.

I was talking with a friend one time who said when he was 5, his parents dropped him off at boarding school and said they’d be right back. The next time he saw them was 3 months later at the end of the school term. I cannot even begin to imagine what that must have felt like. He cried every day for days until it became clear that neither mum nor dad was turning up and so at age 5, he was forced to become a man.

You might say – his parents probably just didn’t know how to explain it to a 5-year old and I think that too but did not-explaining make it easier on the child or on the parents?

Please stop trying to have it all figured out, stop trying to be so strong for them –Tell your kids the truth. Tell them in a way they can understand – they will and will love you for it too. You will demonstrate to them that honesty does not always feel good, but when the choice is presented – you should choose honesty over heroism, always.

You know one of the things I love most about being a parent – it’s that I get to hold right now in my hands what could be a crucial part of shaping a future generation and even if I cannot change the world myself – the idea that I can raise someone who CAN is hands down THE most amazing and terrifying part of being a parent. For me!

We don’t know everything, but we know some things. Let’s do the best we can with the best we know.

Think about how you’re going to choose honesty with your kids even if what you have to tell them is really difficult.

The End.

About Olachi Olatunji

Hey, my name is Olachi and I like to refer to myself as a ‘thinking enthusiast.’

I love a few things, number one of them being learning and number two would be spreading.

I believe in the power of right thinking to transform lives and as a result; I enjoy spreading knowledge, inspiring thinking and encouraging movement.

I however am not a very serious person so please don’t expect to find me in a suit… In a crowd with beating music though, find me somewhere in the middle – moving to the beat and filling my soul with joy.

 

Olachi Olatunji

Chief Curator,

THEKNOWLEDGEOFHOW Blog.

#TKOH

 

A Nigerian journalist, Toyosi Ogunseye, has become the vice president of World Editors Forum (WEF).

Ogunseye who heads the BBC West Africa, was elected on Saturday at the annual meeting of WEF held in Scotland.

She is to deputise Warren Fernandez, editor of the Straits Times and editor-in-chief of Singapore Press Holdings’ English, Malay and Tamil Media Group, for the next two years.

Expressing her pleasure to serve in the capacity in a tweet, she wrote: “This morning, the @WorldEditors board voted Warren Fernandez @theSTeditor as President and me as Vice President. Warren and I are pleased to serve and humbled to lead the World Editors Forum. #WINSummit19 #WNMC19”

Meanwhile, the outgoing WEF president, Dave Callaway, who spoke shortly after their emergence, said: “Warren and Toyosi’s elections ensure WEF is in good hands as we encounter the challenges of the next two years. With media freedom under attack from all sides, a diverse, experienced leadership is what we need to help bring our industry together and take it forward.”

A Mandela Washington fellow, Ogunseye is one of the most revered journalists in Africa; with an outstanding career at The PUNCH, where she had risen to the position of the first female editor since the organisation was founded about five decades ago.

In her career as a journalist for about 15 years, she has won more 30 awards. Some of these are the Diamond Awards for Media Excellence (DAME); CNN MultiChoice African Journalist of the Year Awards (2011 and 2013); Knight International Journalism Award; and the Nigerian Academy of Science Journalist of the Year.

WEF is the leading network for print and digital editors of newspapers and news organisations around the world.

This is the first time that its leadership would be from Asia and Africa since it was established about two decades ago.

Credit: fabwoman.ng

Queen Elizabeth II on Monday, hosted visiting U.S President Donald Trump to a state banquet.

Trump and his wife Melania arrived the UK on Monday for a 3-day State visit.

The visit includes lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings.

See photos below:

LONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 03: (L-R) Queen Elizabeth II (C), poses for a photo with U.S. President Donald Trump (L) and First Lady Melania Trump (R) ahead of a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace on June 3, 2019 in London, England. President Trump’s three-day state visit will include lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. (Photo by Alastair Grant – WPA Pool/Getty Images)

LONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 03: (L-R) U.S. President Donald Trump, Queen Elizabeth II, First Lady Melania Trump, Prince Charles Prince of Wales and Camilla Duchess of Cornwall pose for a photograph ahead of a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace on June 3, 2019 in London, England. President Trump’s three-day state visit will include lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. (Photo by Alastair Grant – WPA Pool/Getty Images)

LONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 03: U.S. President Donald Trump and Queen Elizabeth II attend a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace on June 3, 2019 in London, England. President Trump’s three-day state visit will include lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. (Photo by Dominic Lipinski- WPA Pool/Getty Images)

LONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 03: U.S. President Donald Trump and Queen Elizabeth II attend a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace on June 3, 2019 in London, England. President Trump’s three-day state visit will include lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. (Photo by Dominic Lipinski- WPA Pool/Getty Images)

LONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 03: U.S. President Donald Trump and Queen Elizabeth II make a toast during a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace on June 3, 2019 in London, England. President Trump’s three-day state visit will include lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. (Photo by Dominic Lipinski- WPA Pool/Getty Images)

LONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 03: Catherine,Duchess of Cambridge and United States Secretary of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin arrive through the East Gallery for a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace on June 3, 2019 in London, England. President Trump’s three-day state visit will include lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. (Photo by Victoria Jones- WPA Pool/Getty Images)

LONDON, ENGLAND – JUNE 03: British Prime Minister Theresa May and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge arrive through the East Gallery for a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace on June 3, 2019 in London, England. President Trump’s three-day state visit will include lunch with the Queen, and a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace, as well as business meetings with the Prime Minister and the Duke of York, before travelling to Portsmouth to mark the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings. (Photo by Victoria Jones- WPA Pool/Getty Images)

Watch the Queen’s address at the state banquet below:

Credit: Bella Naija

At just 31, Rihanna has officially been named the world’s richest female musician by Forbes.

A new Forbes report published on Tuesday estimated the singer’s massive assets to be worth about $600 million, thereby placing her ahead of fellow music superstars as Madonna ($570 million), Celine Dion ($450 million) and Beyoncé ($400 million).

This is coming on the heels of the news that her early mentor Jay-Z has just become the first rap billionaire.

A breakdown indicated that Rihanna’s earnings tripled as a result of her partnership with LVMH, the French luxury goods giant run by billionaire Bernard Arnault.

Rihanna and LVMH co-own the makeup brand Fenty Beauty which was launched in September 2017.

Not only did the business quickly become a viral success, it also racked up a reported $100 million in sales in its first few weeks, propelled by Rihanna’s fame and 71 million Instagram followers.

Forbes said Fenty Beauty generated an estimated $570 million in revenue last year, after only 15 months in business.

The entire operation is worth, conservatively, more than $3 billion.

Forbes estimates that LVMH owns an estimated 50% of it, while Rihanna has about 15%, a figure a spokesperson for the artist disputed but would not clarify further.

The Barbados native, who overcame hardships including an abusive addict father and a well-publicised assault by then-boyfriend Chris Brown in 2009, also co-owns the Savage X Fenty lingerie line with Los Angeles-based online fashion firm TechStyle Fashion Group.

She has millions in earnings from her career touring and releases as a singer, which make up the rest of her fortune.

Her empire continues to grow. In May, LVMH and Rihanna announced Fenty, a new clothing house that will make high-end clothes, shoes, accessories, and jewelry.

Credit: Premium Times

Choosing the right foundation could be extremely tricky and overwhelming, especially as a makeup beginner or if one decides to try a new product. There is the problem of not just choosing the right shade but also choosing a foundation that matches one’s skin type. The foundation is to help one’s skin look best and not to look like one has layers of makeup on.

Here are 4 steps to choosing the right foundation to give one’s makeup a flawless finish:

Finding the Best Foundation for Your Skin Type

The first and most important step to choosing a foundation is to find one that matches your skin type. Each skin type has a particular type of foundation that matches it and works best for it, hence it prevents having a face that it has makeup layered on it. For oil-free skin prone to breakouts, using a thick foundation or one that has a lot of moisturisers could make the skin even oilier. As such, people with acne prone skin should stay away from heavy pancake foundations that could clog the pores. Instead, use a lightweight foundation with salicylic acid whose formulas can reduce or to some extent, prevent breakouts.

Liquid foundation is precisely the best type of foundation or dry skin. While some mineral based powder foundations can nourish the skin, they typically aren’t the best foundation choice for dry skin. Rich creamy foundations work very well with dry skin. For oily skin, matte foundation is the best fit as they would prevent the makeup from breaking.

Matching one’s complexion and colouring
Figuring one’s skin tone is the first step to matching one’s foundation to one’s complexion. Undertone differs from skin colour or tone, while one’s skin colour might change, the undertone remains the same. Undertones could be warm, cool or neutral. In addition to pigment or colour, foundations also have cool, warm or neutral tones. To effortlessly blend one’s foundations seamlessly, it needs to work with one’s undertone. Foundations often come in three shades; fair, dark and medium. For each shade, there is also a range of undertones; cool, warm and neutral. The goal is to find the right shade with the right undertone.

Ensure to Test out Foundation Shades before Buying
Often, buying foundation online is not advisable especially if one has no idea of one’s foundation shade or trying out a new product. To avoid buying a wrong foundation, it is important to test out different foundation shades before buying or better still, visit stores for recommendations. Foundations could look different in a bottle as opposed to when on the skin. Also, these stores have a wide array of options that allows one to choose from. It is important to do test patches before choosing a foundation shade. However, there are rules to this.

For under-exposed faces, the chest is a good option for selecting the foundation shade. The jawline is one of the most common areas for doing a foundation patch test. This is a good way to ensure the foundation matches one’s neck. Note that the skin on the arm or hands is not a good place for a foundation patch test. This is because, more often than not, the skin on one’s face differs in colour and texture from that of the hand. Also, try to see how well these shades look in natural light as opposed to the fluorescent lighting of most makeup stores. Finally, ask for a second opinion from the makeup professionals manning the counter.

Getting the Right Look
The choice of a foundation can make or break a look. Because of this, it is necessary to choose one that matches one’s needs and style. Lightweight water-based liquid foundation gives a luminous glow, an oil-based foundation with moisturiser gives a nice dewy glow and a matte finish can be gotten using matte liquid, matte powder or a mousse foundation. Also, take into consideration the weather and environment, if one’s plans include physical exertion or humid weather, then a water-resistant or sweat-resistant foundation is best. For fluorescent lighting, a foundation with a little warmth is best and for long events, a matte foundation works best.

Source: OREORITSE TARIEMI for Guardian

The first Mnet Face of Africa and renowned supermodel, Oluchi Onweagba-Orlandi is no stranger to the limelight as she found international fame at an early age. Wife, mother, businesswoman and now founder of LuLu, she sat down with GUARDIAN WOMAN to talk about what it means to be woman amongst other things.

What does being a woman mean for you personally?
I have always wondered what it truly means to be woman. Not “a woman” but “woman.” You don’t choose to be born female, you literally wake up one day and realise that you are.

Oftentimes it is because growing up especially in Nigeria, there is a constant reminder of what you should do, how you should act, what you should think simply because you are not male.

By: Tobi Awodipe for Guardian

In narrating his marital issues to me, a man wrote… “I MET my wife during one of my visits to Nigeria. We got married with the understanding that her joining me in the UK is immediate. We soon had a child but, after some time, I noticed her body language towards me wasn’t right, and I asked her questions. Her response was like I shouldn’t bother, that we are fine.

Each time I’m visiting, she never does anything special to woo me. No special hair-do, no makeup, no special food, etc. On several occasions, I’ve asked her if I’m doing anything wrong or if there’s something she needs. Her answers are always “everything is okay.”

The love-making is just zero. She doesn’t show she misses it! Then, I said to myself that she must have been getting it from someone else. So I started looking for clues and secretly investigating.

I managed to get hold of her bank statements. I then noticed a very small amount of money coming into her account from a man!
I asked her about it, and she said the man is a family friend from her mother’s side.

During my visit to Nigeria in January, I asked her mum about the man and she said they’re not related. Immediately I returned to the UK, we had a big argument, words were exchanged and both families were insulted. My wife blocked me on all her phone lines and social media platforms. A friend of mine helped me to persuade her to talk to me after awhile.We started talking but she has so much anger in her.

The issue now is that she said she doesn’t love me anymore and not joining me in the UK. What should I do? Should I just let her be?

Please note:
. Her documents for joining me in the UK are being processed.

. I send money to her on a weekly basis.

. I buy her lots of things whenever I am coming to Nigeria- from mobile phone to underwear.

. I visit two to three times a year.

. I bought her a car even before she learned how to drive.

I wouldn’t know if her anger is because she once saw a chat between me and a lady that I dated in the UK.
But, that relationship has long ended.’’

By: Chukwuneta Oby for Guardian Newspaper

Two Nigerian teenagers reportedly became pregnant for men whom they had sex with just so they could buy sanitary pad for them

The incident happened in Akwa Ibom, Nigeria’s South-South, PREMIUM TIMES learnt. And the teenagers are said to be from poor families.

A campaigner against teenage pregnancy revealed this at a roundtable on child development hosted by PREMIUM TIMES in Uyo to mark the 2019 Children’s Day.

“We have two of our teen mothers, between the age of 16 and 19, who got pregnant because they could not afford sanitary pad, so they slept with men who promised to buy them the pad,” Sifon Udo, who runs an NGO, Smartsmothers Foundation, said at the roundtable.

Ms Udo attributed the girls’ predicament to poverty.

“There’s another (teenager) who slept with a man because of sweet and got pregnant!” she said.

“She is getting to 17, she was 15 when she got pregnant.”

Some brand of sanitary pad could go for as low as N250 in Nigeria. But some girls, especially in the country’s poor rural communities, lack the money to buy them, PREMIUM TIMES learnt.

“They (the girls) have given birth,” Ms Udo said.

“(But) because they have not been given the right care, even when they give birth they still don’t have the right information to pick up their lives and move on, and so they run into multiple pregnancies.

“We have a case of a 19-year-old who has two children already and she is pregnant with the third one.”

Ms Udo said teenage pregnancy was on the increase in Akwa Ibom rural communities.

“The key factor here is poverty, but there are cases of abuses, and parental neglects.

“We have a case of a teen mother, she was raped by an uncle who stayed close to them. She wanted to tell her parents about it, but they didn’t want to listen to her. They chased her out of the house.

“Another factor is, when these girls see how their friends are living big, they also want to be like them. They go for what they cannot afford and as a result give themselves out freely to men,” Ms Udo said.

Smartsmothers Foundation, she said, runs a network in Akwa Ibom where they make effort to rehabilitate teenage mothers through reorientation and skill acquisition.

Ms Udo said there was not much her organisation could do about the men who get teenage girls pregnant.

“The challenge we have is that most times before these girls come in, it is already too late. Most of them don’t even know how to locate those who got them pregnant,” she said.

“These stories are real. Most of the men who get these girls pregnant are the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) members who probably leave the area after their service year. Others are just regular men on the streets.

“In Obio Akpa, a developing community where you have a campus of the Akwa Ibom State University, young girls make it a competition to get pregnant – if I am your friend and I get pregnant, you are no more in my clique. I make you feel like you are no more in my class, I now have a kid, so I have many responsibilities. It’s like, look I have more money than you.

“This thing is a cycle, a teen mom will probably have her own female child take after her and also get pregnant the same way,” she said.

Other participants at the roundtable were Uduak Ekong, the chairperson of the Nigeria Association of Women Journalists (NAWOJ) in Akwa Ibom, and Imaobong Akpan, a blogger.

The participants talked on obstacles against child development in Nigeria, such as child labour, lack of education, labelling of children as witches, lack of mentoring, and poor implementation of child rights law.

“People have linked such (witchcraft) accusation to poverty, and it is usually in households where they are going through some tough phases – either the father is having hard luck, maybe he just lost a job, the mother is barely struggling to manage the little that is available – and suddenly this child that is obviously malnourished becomes the focus of attention.

“And someone would just give a hint – have you looked at this child? And then the next thing, the child is thrown out from the home, as we have heard and read in the past,” Mrs Ekong said, in her contribution at the roundtable.

“I have never come across a story where a son or a daughter of one big politician is labelled a witch,” she added.

A participant, Ms Akpan, said it could be difficult to bring to justice, pastors who tell parents that their children are witches.

“It’s a very dicey one because the parents or guardians who take these children to the pastors would hardly give information that could incriminate these pastors or prophets.

“You may not have sufficient evidence, except it was captured in a video. Most deliverance services in these churches are often private sessions between the pastors, parents, and the child involved. If we have some people caught and then punished for it, maybe others would sit up.

“I think society is defined by the level of exposure of its members.

“In Akwa Ibom, people watch a lot of Nollywood movies that tend to paint a picture of witches, and those pictures formed our perception generally – witches are supposed to look like old women, maybe, with bad teeth, going by pictures from Nollywood.

“Witches are supposed to look like children who are malnourished. Politicians’ children are not malnourished, so they don’t fit into the picture of a witch. A child in the village without proper nutrition fits perfectly into that picture,” she said.

PREMIUM TIMES spoke with Charles Udoh, the commissioner for information in Akwa Ibom, on the continuous branding of children as witches in the state, he said he is not aware of such case since Udom Emmanuel became governor about four years ago.

“To be honest with you, I haven’t heard of it, I haven’t encountered it (children being branded as witches and then pushed into the street) since I came here,” Mr Udoh said.

Mr Udoh, however, admitted seeing street children in Uyo, the Akwa Ibom capital.

He said the state government was planning to rid the streets of Uyo and other cities of destitute.

“If you look at it, before this administration came into power, there was so much noise about child molestation in Akwa Ibom, but the level of noise has reduced drastically. The government is very passionate about making sure the rights of children in the state is upheld,” the commissioner said while responding to a question on how effective the child rights law has been in the state.

“The government is also sustaining the free education programme and payment of WAEC fees to students in the state,” he said.

Credit: Premium Times

Almost a million women will enjoy free public transport as part of an attempt to make the Indian capital safer, New Delhi’s government said on Monday.

The city has been notorious for women’s safety since the 2012 gang rape and murder of a female student on a Delhi bus that sparked major protests.

The measure will be rolled out in the next two-to-three months for around 850,000 women.

Delhi chief minister Arvind Kejriwal said it would cost about $115 million a year, but would improve security and cut traffic pollution.

The regional government is also looking to install 150,000 CCTV cameras across the capital this year, Kejriwal added.

Delhi, home to nearly 20 million people, is also one of the world’s most polluted cities, according to UN studies.

“Women will be allowed to travel free of cost so that they have safe travel experience,” Kejriwal told a press conference.

Delhi has a rickety public transport system, and the doubling of some metro fares in recent months has forced many people onto the streets.

Some commentators accused Kejriwal, head of the small Aam Aadmi Party (AAP), of making the gesture to win votes in state elections expected in January.

Kejriwal’s party won a landslide victory in 2015 state elections when it offered free drinking water, subsidised electricity and healthcare and better education for the poor.

It also promised to improve women’s security after the 2012 Delhi gang rape.

But the AAP failed to make a breakthrough in a national election in April-May when conservative Prime Minister Narendra Modi won a second landslide, including in Delhi.

The AAP is expected to face a stiff challenge from Modi’s Bharatiya Janata Party in the state polls.

Credit: AFP