Blog - Page 143 of 462 - Women of Rubies

In self development June 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Enitan Facos: 3 Huge Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away

So you met a man and everything was going great between the two of you. Or so you thought.

Then, quick as lightning, he was out the door.

When it comes to relationships, women and men have unique perspectives. From first date etiquette to when to sleep with their partner, the outlooks are diverse.

However, when a man pulls away from the woman he’s seeing it’s usually for a specific reason.

Here are three HUGE mistakes you may be making that push men away.

You’re clingy

If there’s one thing that’ll send any man running it’s a clingy woman. Sure, it’s nice to be affectionate and show him that he’s on your mind, but when you make him your be and end all, he’ll start to feel smothered.

When this happens he’ll try to regain his independence by pulling away.

What’s worse is when you make it known that you’re falling for him, too quickly. Since men are looking for fun in the beginning of a relationship, letting him know that you’re already planning your future together will scare him away.

Instead of showing your emotions too soon, it’s crucial that you remain calm, cool and collected.

Remember, if a man senses that a woman wants more from him and the relationship than he’s prepared to give, he will pull away.

You’re insecure

Studies have shown that 97% of women are unhappy with their bodies at least once a day.

However, when it comes to relationships showing your insecurities is never a good idea.

Sure, it’s nice to be comfortable enough to talk about your gym routine or the healthy eating kick you’re on with your man, but if you’re asking him “Do these jeans make me look fat” or nagging anytime an attractive woman talks to him, then you’re digging your own relationship grave.

The problem is that once your insecurities start to show there’s no going back. Instead of pushing him away with your self-doubts show him your happy-go-lucky side and he’ll be hooked.

A good tip to follow is to pretend that every date with your man is a first because there’s no way you’d let him see this side of you then.

You’re unhappy without him

Just because you’re happy when you’re with him it doesn’t mean that he isn’t catching on to your negativity when he’s not in the room. In fact, if he knows that he’s your sole source of happiness then it’s likely to push him away.

The problem here is this type of situation makes him feel pressured to keep you content, and that’s a huge responsibility for anyone!

Instead of relying on him to keep you smiling, make the most of your life. Do the things that you love. When you do, you’ll not only be making yourself happier, but it’ll improve the overall quality of your relationship too.

For a deeper insight on what pushes men away take a moment and watch this free video presentation by relationship expert, Amy North.

Source: https://hackspirit.com/3-huge-mistakes-women-make-that-push-men-away/

In Inspiration June 2, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Women Have Been Raised To Tolerate Nonsense – Nigeria’s Lami Phillips Writes A Note To Women

Lami Phillips Gbadamosi has written a short note to women to encourage them to “be kind” to themselves. The singer and actress said that women have been taught to “be quiet” when mistreated and this has made them struggle with “self validation”.

The american born, who grew partly in Nigeria and the Uk also wrote, “Women have been taught to be quiet when mistreated. We have been raised to tolerate nonsense and serve condescension. Many women struggle with self validation because over time the beauty in their identity was not celebrated. Dear woman please become what you were destined to become! Own that superstar status! You are worthy of peace of mind. You deserve to be treated well too. Patience should not be foolishness and suffering. Be kind to yourself. You are doing an amazing job .,, and I celebrate you.”

In Interviews&profile June 2, 2020 By Women of Rubies

#Interview| “If You Want Something, Go For It And Stand Your Ground”- Ololade Ibrahim

Ololade Ibrahim is a professional fashion model with Agencies in Milan, Barcelona, London, Paris, Greece, Denmark and Nigeria. She is a graduate of Mass Communication, from the Yaba College of Technology. Things you will find her doing are writing, designing and mentoring when she is not modeling.

Photo Credit: Ololade Ibrahim, Instgram — Photo Credit: Ololade Ibrahim, Instagram

She shares her journey in this interview with Women of Rubies.

Childhood Influence

Yes, my childhood prepared me for whatever I’m doing now. My childhood taught me to be strong as a woman, bold, confident, stand up for myself and others, face my fear without fidgeting.
Growing up in a family where everything was fine at first and all of a sudden things changed for my parent. a home where my mum raised four kids without complaining, gave us the best education she can afford and yet we never go hungry.

B- Little about my growing up-
I went to a private primary school, got a scholarship for one year in a private junior secondary school then later move to public junior and senior secondary school before attending the high institution.
While I was at public junior secondary school some of my colleagues will bully me because I’m so skinny but graduating to senior secondary class I am able to fight back. So I don’t get much pain by those words any more.
Finishing SSCE I was small, then I started working in an envelope company where I glued envelope papers. I get extra cash there to get things for myself, without waiting for my mum or anyone to buy me this or that.
In those moment while working in an envelope company, people kept telling me how skinny I was, making statements like did my mum ever feed me? I got lots of body shame and bullying which made me stop going to work. At a point, I stopped telling my mum about it because she has warned me not to work at first.
When I stopped working at the envelope company, I started teaching children ( home lesson ) in my dad’s compound where I collect 30 naira on each child per day. However, I stopped teaching when I got a GCE form to prepare for the exam.

So after I took the exam I got admitted into LASU ( Lagos State University ) to study Theater Arts but there was no money to push my admission so I missed it. That year a friend told me about a job at the ministry of environment in Lekki, eti osa branch. I put in for the job and I was employed as a secretary. Literally, I start the job.
Before getting the job I never thought of the challenges attached to it and the distance. I stayed in Agbada Ijaye and I worked at Ozumba Mbadiwe road, every day I left home by 4:30 am just to avoid traffic and to get to the office before resumption time 7:30 am or 7:45 am max. Doing this for 8months gave me another view of life, I met awesome people who shaped my life, build my confidence, make me believe more in myself, push me to do awesome things. All these experience prepared and shaped me to who I am today.

Photo Credit: Ololade Ibrahim, Instagram

Inspiration behind modeling, and the journey so far

In this journey, I met a friend who introduced me to modelling because she really like modelling but she’s not that tall so she got a ‘no’ so many times. She convinced me about it because of my height, then I developed interest and I started watching fashion Tv, watching the likes of Noami Campbell, Trya Banks and others in the modeling industry.

Meanwhile, there was a program; American Next Top Model which was hot on tv then, people watched it. We were watching that program that night, So I told my mum about modelling she was like ‘ha everybody will be seeing your body,’ My dad must not hear about this. I knew that my dad must not know about it!.
However, I have tried many things which my dad was against, so I begged her to keep it a secret because once my dad knows about it I’m definitely getting a NO on it. So we kept it a secret, no one knew in the family that I wanted to go into modelling.

So, this friend of mine, introduced me to a man, named MR Yusuf. MR Yusuf gives catwalk lesson and coach models towards pageant and runway. He basically wanted me to go into pageants like MBGN, MISS UNIVERSE and the likes, he will always say that I will do well in pageants because of my beauty and how outspoken I am.
On the long run I put in for miss global Nigeria after I passed through the audition and got to camp it was a different game, 60% of what I heard and could see, the way the setting was, I wasn’t pleased with it. I told Mr Yusuf he said I could pull out. I remember after three days I talked to Mr Yusuf about it, the chaperone in the house gave us a task and I challenged her, that night she sent me packing. Few housemates were begging for me but instead, I just focused on my packing. That night I called my mum that I was coming home, and she asked why, I said nothing that I just wanted to come home, that I didn’t like the place. I couldn’t explain it all till I got home.I took a taxi late in the night and got home. For a week I avoided talking to my mum or even getting close just not to talk about it. My mum will figure out what happened and there will be an issue.
After all these, I didn’t stop pushing, I tried some pageant and failed.

I was in school one afternoon when they called me to come to represent my local Govt in Lagos pageant (Miss Lagos Carnival) 2014 . In the pageant, I won Miss Amity. This time I was in 1st-semester Yabatech studying mass communication. After Lagos pageant, I tried Nigeria next supermodel 1st time I had to pull out because of school. So the second year I got the form and tried again, I made it to the top 10.
So the game kept going and at a point, I got tired and stopped because everything wasn’t working the way I wanted it.

Photo Credit: Ololade Ibrahim, Victoria Beckham's Capsule Launch, Instagram — Photo Credit: Ololade Ibrahim, Victoria Beckham’s Capsule Launch, Instagram

International breakthrough
This lovely afternoon I was going to school to submit my project when this young scout from Raw model management walked up to me saying do you know you can make money with your height, immediately I rolled my eyes like this guy is trying to talk to me about modelling. I said to him I’m not interested in modelling I have tried it many times but it is not working. He said I should just give him two months and I will be surprised by the outcome. He collected my contact and sent me a message two days after, I was invited to Raw Model office in Bariga which was close to my school. I did some shoot, no one asked for money. I got a call back two weeks after to do another shoot, this time I was placed on proper diet, I had to cut my hair, change my style just to suit the international market. Within 5 or 6weeks an agency in Milan signed me, that’s how everything changed, I did my first international show (Milan fashion week) in September 2017. Since then the journey has been smooth and rough. But in all, I give God all the glory.At some point, I had to take a break, because modelling is a crazy world. In the process, I lost my dad, the break now took so long, I was mentally and spiritually down. Missed a whole fashion season.

You recently walked the runway for Emporio Armani at the Paris fashion week, tell us more about it.

Literally, this is not my first time walking the show.

Back in 2018, I was the first Nigerian model to walk Emporio and Giorgio Armani in the same season no one else from Nigeria has walked the two shows in the same season until 2020 again when I walked the two shows again in the same season making me the first Nigerian model to walk both shows the same season, twice ( February 2018 & February 2020).

However, I will say God’s grace just speaks for me in the midst of the thousands. Because during the first and second casting I just do my things normally like I do which is walk. And two days after my booker in Milan told me I have a fitting for Emporio Armani I was so happy. I wasn’t even looking at Giorgio Armani show when they gave me another call to go for Giorgio Armani fittings. So after both fittings I still kept the faith tight maybe I will do the two shows; so that evening I got a confirmation that I will be walking the two shows, I was extremely happy that God did it again 👏🏾🙏. All thanks to MR Armani and the team 🙌🏿.

Other brands modelled for
I have worked for many major brands all over the world, I can’t even remember all their names but here are few of them; Off-White, Adidas, Jasper Conran, Vogue Magazine Italy, Toga, Aigner, The Times Magazine UK, Cristiano Burani, Harper’s Bazaar Germany, Lurve Magazine, Liberty Beauty, Kiko Kostadinov, Emporio Armani, Giorgio Armani, Victoria Beckham in London, Sportmax, Sergio Rossi, iceberg in Milan, thome brown, Comme Des Garçon, Ysl beauty in Paris, Lampoon Magazine, Schön Magazine, Talbot Runhof, Rahul Mishra, Issey Miyake, lefties in Barcelona and many more.

Aspirations as a Model

Some of my aspirations as a model is to work for more top brands, use this platform to help myself grow, my family and also give back to society in every way I can.

In our world of today where creativity is a big deal, I’ve embarked on a Journey to rebrand my personal identity OLOLADE IBRAHIM which has a Logo to it already and I’m working towards getting more out of this brand.

Though, I already have a fashion brand in place awaiting finish and a launch. It’s called DENIM by OI ( Ololade Ibrahim ) and I have started the branding process already by first adding a befitting Logo to represent the brand and there’s a lot coming on it.

DENIM by OI is a fashion brand for all shades of human, race and gender.

Talk of giving back to the society; I already began that journey when I joined Black Diamonds Support Foundation ( an NGO aimed at giving back to the society).

I participated in their recent campaign in which we together fed 5000 Kids in Lagos just like Jesus Christ did back then. I must say, it was an awesome feeling seeing children smile and go home happy.

There’s so much more to come and I can only hope for the best of all

3 women of inspiration in the modeling world (Personal)

You see I believe every woman is a role model, in one way or the other. My mum as an example is a great role model. With all that she has been through, and pulled through she is still alive standing strong.

There are some icons out there who don’t belong to the industry but are doing well in their lines of duty and fighting for other women as well.

Someone like Michelle Obama, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Bethlehem Alemu, Ilhan Omar, Naomi Campbell, etc these are a few women I have read and know about and how they’ve inspired young girls are amazing.

Naomi Campbell- aside from the fact that she’s a black woman and also make ways for we young black girls of today in the industry. Fam she’s a legend keeping it tight in the modelling industry till this moment which makes me respect her more, I grew up knowing her, watching her on tv. And she’s still rocking it, she’s a legend and icon.

Ilhan Omar- is a young woman from Somalia who lived in Kenya refuse for four years. She is the first naturalized African and Somali-American elected to the United States Congress. Before her political position, she has been a fierce campaigner for affordable housing, healthcare, and a living wage. In 2017, she was one of the 46 women to feature in Time’s Magazine’s report, “Firsts: Women who are changing the world.”

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a Feminist, Novelist, and an Author from Nigeria here, I know her to be a fierce woman who wants equal gender rights and women empowerment. She also speaks against sexual violence including the #metoo movement.
In 2012, she gave a powerful speech at TEDxEuston in London titled “we should all be feminists”

There are many more women out there doing great things has I have said but people don’t hear or know about them.

Challenges faced as a model

Firstly being a black model is a challenge, I don’t know why some people see this our skin colour as a problem for them. Without even knowing you as a person they just develop hatred.
I have once been to casting in Paris at this recent concluded Paris fashion week, the casting director doesn’t even know me at all. We were like four or five who walked in together, She collected everyone’s comp card and put mine separately, she asked her assistant to take our pictures, after the pictures she said I can go, I said everyone or just me. She said only me. I said wouldn’t you even allow me to walk? She just ignored me. You know when you go somewhere and you can feel it that your energy is not welcome there.
Some even fake it, they give people outside a better version of them. (to impress the society) Trying to tell a story that they welcome diversity in their collection, meanwhile it’s all a lie, they only allow one or two black models on their set or runway and use them as props.

I have lived in the midst of some girls who are Russians. It was a terrible experience, I was like a kid in the midst of a lion. The funniest part is they didn’t even know each other from anywhere, they came in separately but because they speak the same language, they became friends easily and ganged up against me. They made the apartment terrible and difficult for me. Returning home sometimes I would some of my things in the trash can.
One lovely morning I had a job and the call time was 9 am, wanting to have my bath that morning, coming out of my room one of the girls rushed into the bathroom stayed in the bath for 1hrs 20 mins without coming out, I had to go for the job without having my bath that morning. Getting back home, I went to her told her to be fast in the bathroom next time, she pretends as if she did not understand English which I knew she was lying because she spoke to me with English when she first moved in introducing herself.

.
That night my roommate came to confront me why would I talk to her friend like that, that next time If I challenged any of her friends I will meet my bag outside. I was so shocked because we were all paying for the room. Before I knew what was happening she moved close to me with her hair straightener on her hand, that night I beat her so badly without evening thinking of what will happen the next moment.
Till I left the apartment the girls avoided getting close to me or my things they couldn’t even report what happened to the Agency. Because they knew what they were doing to me was bad.
Since then I don’t run away from my fear, I face it and I make sure I overcome it.

A Woman of Rubies

Firstly; Rubies are rare gem, considered to be the stone of love, energy, passion, power, tough, and of high value, beautiful and so am I. 😂.
I have represented and still representing Nigeria internationally in the modelling industry, making the world know we have good features, women of value and quantity in my country.
I have participated in many programs in giving back to the less privileged.
I have volunteered myself for community service for the betterment of my neighbourhood and community.

I am still and will keep doing more as long as I live.

Final word for young women who want to go into modelling but are scared

I will like to tell them to brace up. Modelling is not something you sit down somewhere and it will come to meet you. Not everyone will be lucky to be scouted on the road or somewhere. I know some people who pushed themselves to the top where they are now.

If you want something, you go for it; even if the world keeps challenging you, You stand your ground. Go for that thing you want.

Believe in God, he’s the only one who can do it.

Lastly, every young girl wants the big name agencies to sign them on but the truth is, it’s not about how big the agency is that will determine your career or limelight. You can be signed to a small agency as that of a hole and still shine pass so many.

What you should look for is; will this agency represent me well?. A lot of models are in big name agencies that I know of and are yet to do anything.

Be contented wherever you are, put God first and don’t stop pushing hard.

Add up- I’m an actor (featured in one movie already) a Journalist also. I’m open to movie roles if there may be any available in the nearest future.

Thank you.

In Inspiration June 1, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Speaks About The Motivation Behind “half Of A Yellow Sun” on Biafra Day

In honour of Biafra Day which is celebrated every May 30, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has this year spoken about her award-winning book, “Half of a Yellow Sun“.

Her book which profiles what the war era looked like with its storyline speaks about what motivated her to write the book.

Watch the video below:

View this post on Instagram

Thank you to everyone who sent in questions about HALF OF A YELLOW SUN. I’ve answered some of them here. ⁣ ⁣ Today, May 30, is Biafra Rememberance Day.⁣ It has been 50 years since the end of the Nigeria-Biafra war.⁣ ⁣ In memory of Nwoye David Adichie and Aro-Nweke Felix Odigwe, the grandfathers I never knew. Ka fa nodu na ndokwa.⁣ ⁣ May We Always Remember.⁣ ⁣ #Biafra⁣ #Biafraday⁣ #ozoemena

A post shared by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (@chimamanda_adichie) on May 30, 2020 at 11:22am PDT

In Inspiration June 1, 2020 By Women of Rubies

With all that is going wrong, Anna Wintour Wants A Black Woman For Vice President Now

A scene from the protests in Los Angeles on May 27th, 2020

With so much going wrong now, with how lives are threatened, people getting shot and racism, Anna Wintour has called out Joe Biden. She wants him to choose a black woman as his Vice President, and to do it now!

Wintour who is the Editor- in-chief of Vogue Magazine wrote an editor’s letter.

“These are days of wildly mixed emotions. I am always one for optimism and I had been cheering at signs of recovery and cautious re-emergence, the communities and businesses carefully opening up, the Americans following guidelines, wearing masks in public, and social distancing safely, the pandemic slowing its spread in most places.

But there has been little to cheer about recently. The signs of division, anger, and chaos in our country are overwhelming and heartbreaking. And we have a disgraceful president who seems capable only of vile statements of hate, of stoking our divisions, and turning Americans against one another.

She urged the Vice President to do more now, with all he has been up to.

“He must surround himself with the best and the brightest minds who represent all of America—and that means he should choose a woman of color to be his vice president, and he should do it soon. What an important symbol she will be for a country that is long and tragically overdue for new leadership,” she wrote

Nigeria has had its share of wrongful treatments as a young lady name Uwa was raped and killed in church last Wednesday. A trending hashtag has ensued on social media, so justice can be done, as several others have lost their lives this way. And the Police has also wrongfully cost some of this as weeks ago two policemen allegedly shot a teenager according to news reports.

In self development May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Toddy Rosiji: 10 Signs He Loves You But Scared To Fall For You

Is your man giving you mixed signals? You think he might love you, but for some reason, he appears hesitant about it? When it comes to dealing with men and their complicated behavior, it can be tough to understand what they’re truly thinking.

After all, sometimes a man is cold BECAUSE they love you, and other times they’re cold BECAUSE they just don’t like you.

However, when you research and understand male psychology, it’s not as complicated as you might think.

So in this article, I thought we’d go over tried and true ways to figure out exactly how he is truly feeling.

We’ll also go over the reasons why he might be scared about falling in love with you.

We have a lot to cover so let’s get started.

He can’t help but stare at you

This is an obvious sign that he loves you. Guys will generally do it naturally.

Whether you’re doing something boring like working on your laptop, or you’re taking out the washing to dry, he can’t help but look at you doing it.All you have to do is glance over his way every now and then and see if you catch him looking.If he is looking, you can bet your bottom dollar that he loves you.

Also, focus on how he looks at you when you’re having a conversation with him. You’ll see the kind of puppy love eyes with a cute smile that naturally occurs when you start talking.

Once you see your man doing this, it’s a clear sign he is genuinely in love.

Now if he is scared about his feelings, he might quickly look away when he catches you looking. He doesn’t want you to know that he can’t help but look at you.

But if he maintains eye contact with you, then he definitely isn’t scared about his feelings and he is letting you know directly he likes you.

He’s ignoring you

Surely if he is ignoring you he doesn’t love you, right?Wrong!

Sometimes a guy ignores you because he loves you, particularly if he is scared about it.

Sound confusing?

Well, some guys will go out of their way to do anything but appear desperate.They don’t want to show that they love you because then that will give everything away.

It’s also a way to protect their ego.If they think that you might not be interested in them, then they’ll pull back on expressing their emotions.And the best way to do this is to ignore you.

But don’t worry, once you start showing that you’re interested, too, then he’ll come around and start expressing himself better. He won’t be scared that he is falling in love with you because he knows that you’re falling for him.

3.He remembers every little detail of what you say

We’ve all heard before men aren’t the best listeners. And to be honest, for the most part, that is probably true.But if your man loves you, he’ll listen to everything you say. He hangs on it! If you mention that you’re attending your sister’s friend’s birthday party, he’ll be the first to ask how it was the next day.

If he mentions that your allergic to peanuts, then any restaurant that he chooses for you to go to, he’ll make sure peanuts aren’t on the menu. When he’s listening unconditionally to what you’re saying, you know it’s true love.

He hangs on to your every word, and he respects what you have to say too. It comes so naturally for him, actually. He just can’t help but take note of every little thing you say.

4.He struggles to express his feelings with you

This is a clear sign that he’s scared of falling in love with you, but might be scared about those feelings. He knows he cares for you deeply, and it’s starting to worry him.

Why would it worry him? A common reason for a man is that the strong emotions he is feeling are something he can’t control.

Men like to be in control, and his feelings for you are becoming so strong that he doesn’t know how to handle it.

He won’t be able to talk about his emotions because he fears he’ll lose control.

The best he can do is avoid talking about it.

Also, it’s important to realize that men, in general, are scared of talking about their feelings.

Many men have grown up believing that they need to not let emotions affect them, so they do their best to ignore them.

So, how can you get him to open up?

The most important quality you need to show is that you’re trustworthy. Tell him you’re there for him. Open up to him so he feels comfortable opening up to you.

Sometimes, you can’t force him to talk about his emotions. You need to let him know that you’re there for him and then be patient.

5. His friends know how much he cares about you

This is a clear sign that he loves you if his friends know a huge deal about you. Perhaps they know what your job is, how you two met, and what sport you love to play. How could this be the case when he is scared to admit that he loves you?

Simple.

Guys find it much easier to communicate with their guy friends, and they’ll naturally share the details of someone they’re keen on.

It shows that he can’t get you off his mind.

What’s more, he’ll also invite you out with his friends so he can show you off.

When a guy falls in love, he becomes naturally protective of his love interest. This is basic male psychology.

When you’ve had an argument with a friend, he’ll naturally take your side.

When you cross the road, he’ll put his body on the side of the traffic.

He can’t help it.

Even if he is afraid to admit that he loves for various reasons, he won’t be able to control his actions of wanting to protect you and be your hero.

He might not have told you in words that he loves you. But you see it in everything that he does. You see it in the way he looks at you. You see it in the way he holds you. He shows it in the simplest gestures that touch your heart in the deepest ways.

7.He is acting nervous around you

This goes back to the point before about ignoring you. The reason he is feeling nervous has to do with his emotions. He is feeling something strongly and is starting to realize that he loves you.

But because of this, he’ll want to impress you at all costs.

What does this do?

It puts pressure on him to perform! He wants to make you interested in him, which will make him nervous.He doesn’t want to lose you, and he doesn’t want you to not like him.

So how can you tell if he is nervous?

Nervous people tend to be more fidgety. He also might have trouble speaking clearly around you, which will cause him to speak less.Another sign that someone is nervous is if their acting hyper or weird.

So if your man is acting a little hyper and telling weird jokes, keep in mind that he is just nervous because he likes you.

Once he starts feeling more comfortable, he’ll come around and start acting normal again.

Remember that if he loves you but is scared to admit that he loves you, this will only add to his nerves when he’s around you.

He’ll realize that he hasn’t exactly got total control over his emotions and that will make him scared, anxious, and fearful.

This will lead to even more nervous behavior that we spoke about above.

8.He constantly seeks out your advice

If he is asking for your opinion on important decisions that he needs to make, it’s obvious that he trusts your guidance and might be already in love with you.

It shows that he truly cares what you think. He thinks you’re intelligent and that you actually care about giving him good advice.

This is especially the case if he is revealing details about his life when he seeks your guidance. This is a great clue that he trusts you and desperately wants to bare his soul to you.

And if he really cares what you think, it means that he really cares about you.

9.He wants to be around you all the time

When a guy loves you, they can’t help but try to get as close as they can to their love interest. If you’re out to dinner with a group of people, he’ll somehow find a way to sit next to you. If you’re at a party, then he manages to position himself near you for the majority of the time. The funny thing is, he doesn’t really mean to. It just happens subconsciously because he loves being around you.

10.He can’t stop complimenting you

He looks at you and says you’re beautiful. He comments on how kind and caring you are. He tells you how much he appreciates the meals you cook or the job you’ve committed yourself to.

He goes out of his way to let you know that you’re awesome. And it’s obvious you’re having a bad day, he’ll do his best to lift you up by complimenting you.

It’s not because he is trying to suck up to you, it’s just that he finds it hard to say that he loves you, and instead says it in other ways.

11.He displays little signs of affection.

Don’t get twisted. The little things DO count.

Little gestures of love show that he is in love with you. He cares for you and he is thinking of you.

Those little things can be as simple as holding hands or buying you a small gift to lift your spirit ups.

It’s also a key sign if he is doing it not to impress you, but just to make you feel better.

It shows where his mind is at and what he is truly feeling. After all, it’s difficult to constantly pre-meditate little signs of affection.

And we all can say whatever we want but it’s our actions that count

12.He keeps supporting you

No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re cooking dinner for the two of you, or you’re pursuing your dreams in your career, he is always supporting you and cheering you on from the sidelines.

He wants the best for you. He wants you to realize your potential and he wants you to be fulfilled.He can’t help but encourage you to follow your dreams because your happiness is paramount to his happiness.

And when it comes to love, you support them unconditionally. That’s just how it is.

Reasons why he might be scared to fall for you

It’s all well and good to work out that he loves you and is scared about it, but the deeper issue is why the hell is he scared about it?

There could be several reasons he is scared about falling for you, some of which are more innocent than others.

So if the signs are pointing that he is scared to be falling for you, here are the most common reasons why:

1.He has just got out of a long-term relationship

He’s had a long-term relationship, and he’s been going through a tough break-up. This is extremely common.

He’s told himself he doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a while, and then you come along which starts giving him the feels.Love physically hurts because our bodies release hormones and endorphins to protect us and ready us to move as quickly as possible away from the perceived threat.But that threat lingers in our mind for days, weeks, months and even years in some cases after a bad break up. That’s why he is scared about falling for you. He doesn’t want to get hurt again.

2.He’s been hurt in the past

When you’ve been hurt in the past because a previous partner has cheated on you, or abused you, it can make you very skeptical of getting in a relationship with someone else.This is why his guard might be up, and he is naturally afraid of getting close to anyone again. But don’t worry. All this means is that you have to build trust with him. The more he trusts you, the more he’ll open up and eventually let his guard down. Remember that dating a person that’s been hurt in the past is all about making them feel safe and secure in the relationship.

When he understands that he can trust you, it will alleviate his worries about falling for someone that could potentially hurt him.

3.He doesn’t think you like him back

Can you come across as a bit of an ice queen? You know the old resting bitch face even when you don’t intend to? When it appears like you’re not interested, then you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s going to be scared about falling for you. This is can even happen in relationships, where a partner fears that they are falling much harder for their lover than their partner.

Nobody wants to be the one with stronger feelings. It can lead to neediness, desperation, and getting hurt. The good news is that there is an easy way to overcome this. All you have to do is show him that you are interested, and he’ll realize that the feelings are reciprocated. There are different ways to show him that you like him, whether it’s buying him gifts or showing him affectiob when he least expects it.

Once he knows that you like or love him, he’ll be more willing to show his feelings, too.

Source:https://hackspirit.com/signs-he-loves-you-but-is-scared/

In self development May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

5 Ways To Practice Self-Love And Believe In Yourself Again

Self-love requires understanding and engaging with yourself at the most intimate level, and opening up to yourself in a way that might be uncomfortable and unfamiliar for most of us.

Here are our 5 tips to help you live with self-love:

1) Live with Intent:

Live mindfully, truthfully, and intentionally. Do not lose yourself in your moments, and if you do, find out why you lost yourself and what you can do to stay present.

Your life is limited – time is your most important currency – and the more you show yourself that you value your time, the more you prove to yourself that you love your life.

2) Live with Care:

Treat yourself well; physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Listen to your body and your mind at the most basic level – if something doesn’t make you feel good, then it is probably bad for you. Protect yourself, from the dangers of both greasy food and toxic friends.

Your mind is your window into the world; keep it clean, keep it strong, and your world will stay equally positive.

Practice a proper diet, exercise regularly, sleep enough hours, and engage in healthy social behavior that secures your personal growth.

And make sure to live with boundaries. Don’t limit yourself, but don’t confuse self-love with hedonism. Moderation is good for the soul.

3) Live with Forgiveness:

You will make mistakes. You’ve most certainly already made a ton, filling you with various bouts of guilt and regret trapped in the back of your head.

You are human, after all, and that’s what makes life worth living: the unexpectedness of your own humanity

But learn to forgive, yourself and those around you. Every day you wake up is an opportunity to grow away from the person you were the day before.

If that person made a mistake, then try to understand and forgive, as you can work towards being a different person tomorrow.

4) Live with Need:

Your mind is your greatest asset, so trust it. When presented with a situation to overindulge, ask yourself: do I need this or do I want it? In most cases, what you think you need is simply a case of you wanting it.

And while it is more than fine to pleasure yourself with your own desires every now and then, it is important to remember not to fall into self-made destructive habits based on desire and want.

Live according to what your mind, body, and soul need.

Turn away from the pleasures of laziness, of automatic happiness, of destructive behavior, because these are short-term, and they care nothing for the person you could be.

You are the only person who must live with yourself for your entire life, so make your happiness last longer than a day.

5) Live with Yourself:

And finally, it is crucial to learn to live with yourself as if you were someone else.

When faced with the task of self-loving, we think too much in the abstract; we think of it as a mental challenge, a psychological question rather than a task we can actively work towards achieving.

But loving yourself is as simple as loving anyone else, so ask yourself: how would you love yourself, if you were someone else?

Treat yourself with the same respect, kindness, and mindfulness that you would offer the people who matter most to you in your life.

Love yourself with the same patience and tenderness you would give your own child, partner, sibling, or parent.

Be kind but be stern; learn to discipline, but learn to forgive. You are your own greatest fan, your own greatest rival, and your own greatest love.

Learn to see yourself in ways you have never considered.

Self-love seems so easy in movies and shows. Just let go of the thoughts, problems, and people causing stress in your life, exchange them with sources of joy and happiness, and voila: you are a self-loving king or queen.

But true, transformative, authentic self-love isn’t so easy. While you might feel great for some time, there will be many moments when you want to give up, where you might convince yourself that your attempts at self-love are meaningless and childish and stupid, that the world is hard and cruel and you should just learn to live with it.

But don’t stop. Keep going. Self-love isn’t about happiness. It’s about improving your life as much as you currently can, and accepting it.

In Career Gems May 31, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

#JusticeForUwa: Uniben Undergraduate Raped And Murdered Inside Church (Graphic Photos)

A 22-year-old lady, identified as Uwaila Omozuwa, has died at the University of Benin Teaching Hospital (UBTH), Edo State, after she was beaten and raped inside her local church. It was gathered that Uwaila, who was an 100-level Microbiology student of UNIBEN, goes to read everyday at The Redeemed Christian Church of God, Edo Province 10, Ikpoba Hill, Benin, but was unfortunately beaten, raped and hit with a fire extinguisher by unknown men on Wednesday 27th May, 2020.

According to a source, “The church’s security officer had gone to collect the keys to the church from its keeper when he was told that there was someone in the church already. He got to the church only to find Uwaila in a pool of blood and next to her was the fire extinguisher which was used to bash her face..

He ran back to inform the key keeper and his wife, who went to the church to meet her lifeless, thinking she was dead. After careful observation, they noticed she moved her hand and quickly rushed her to the hospital. It was at the hospital that Uwaila revealed she was reading all alone when some unknown men came into the church , beat, raped and hit her head with a fire extinguisher. However, she later passed on. . The case was eventually reported to Oregbeni Police Station, but nothing has been done about it so far. Her friends and family have now taken to social media to demand action, using the hashtag #JusticeForUwa

In Inspiration May 31, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Every Woman Needs The Whole Bible – Rachael Jankovic

Rachel Jankovic (@lizziejank) is a wife and mother of seven children. She is author of You Who?, Why You Matter and How to Deal with It, and is heavily involved with a Bible reading ministry for women.

While sharing with desiringGod, she emphasized the need for women to wholly embrace the full content of the Bible and not see it as a merely self-help tool when we need need help.

“In an age obsessed with the concepts and tools of self-help, Christian women reject the assumption that our Bible is just another tool. The Bible is anything but a self-help tool. We might assume the Bible is only something we use to boost ourselves up in times of need. That thought is subtly prevalent, and sadly destructive.

Rachael wants women to know the help does not comes from us

There is help, but it is not the help we offer ourselves. It is the help of a holy God who is accomplishing his purposes in us.

She continued, “My uncle is fond of saying that many Christians approach the word of God as if it is a cat they are dissecting. They want to label all the parts, standing over the word, analyzing and classifying it based on the comfort they think they need. In reality, we are the cat. The word is the knife that cuts — even between thoughts and intentions, soul and spirit, joint and marrow (Hebrews 4:12). The word of God is not a dead thing lying on the table, waiting for us and our insights to put it to use how we think we need to. It is living; it is active. It is far beyond our power to control.

She added the case of avoiding difficult parts of the Bible and not submitting oneself

There’s a way to acknowledge God’s word, even grabbing little pieces of it for inspiration or encouragement, and yet not submit to its authority and power.

You can be careful to stay out of the dangerous bits, avoiding anything that confronts your assumptions. You might be afraid of the gnarly Old Testament stories. You might refuse to let the Bible’s clear teaching on men and women come near you. You might skip over an imprecatory psalm, or avoid the toughness of Jesus in certain passages. You might spend all your time reading the insights of people who feel safe, those you know have no intention of actually letting the knife of the word get near your heart. Or maybe you only look up a specific comfort for a specific time.

The sinful heart of man loves to try to get the word of God into a place where we are not so threatened by it. Because, goodness knows, it is a threat! It threatens the old man in all of us. And the biggest threat it offers is to open our eyes to reality.

We want the Bible to serve us in a very limited capacity. Something that could fit into the glove box of our lives and encourage us when we feel we need encouragement. The word of God certainly does encourage us. But it undoes us first. It destroys and remakes us (Hosea 6:1). It doesn’t maul us to leave us as a carcass on the table of our quiet time, but it calls us back to life through dying to ourselves. Like the words of the prophet Ezekiel, the word puts flesh on our bones (Ezekiel 37:4–6). It breathes life into us. The Bible calls us to the purposes of God, equips us for those purposes, and then sends us out to do them.

She wants all to know the Bible is not for some specific leaders in Church

Reading the Bible in its entirety is not for the gurus of self-help. Reading the whole word is for every human.

The saddest part about our attempts to relegate Bible reading to a self-help tool or self-development effort is that we speak of the word of God as though it were a skin cream or energy bar. A little something we pull out to improve ourselves, and that we sometimes privately share with others to help them along. An insider tip. A little item we have at our disposal and like to apply as needed, in moderation, with caution. We will do anything to keep it small and controllable.

Tap here for full article

In Uncategorized May 30, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Abena Kantanka: Meet successful female farmer who started farming in university

Abena Safo Kantanka is among the few successful graduates who have made careers in farming. The Ghanian female farmer started her career while in the university.

She is the daughter of agriculturalist, preacher, inventor and innovator Apostle Dr Kwadwo Safo Kantanka.

After graduating from senior high school with WASSCE certification in Agricultural Science, Abena went on to pursue her bachelor’s degree in Development Communication at AUCC.

Although coming from one of the least developed countries, Abena began farming while in the university with goats and just a sheep in Damango and an acre of maize farm. She had support system since coming from a family of agriculturist, compared to other women who went on the same path as her to start careers in farming.

She reveals that regardless of the advantages and opportunities, her journey has not been free of setbacks. Abena, however, on many occasions defied the odds and subsequently moved her crop farming to the Central Region and started construction on the farm to move the animals. Having made remarkable strides, Abena credits much of her success to her father Apostle Dr Kwadwo Safo Kantanka, a preacher, inventor, innovator, physicist, chemist, biologist, and agriculturalist.

“My dad has been my motivation for farming,’’ she said. Aside her father serving as an inspiration to her, Abena admits that she ‘‘loves nature [because] nature is beautiful and it’s not expensive. “The desire to eat your own food means growing your own food and I want to eat my own food.’’ While in school, Abena always talked about owning a big farm like her dad where she could also make a difference by providing foodstuffs that are healthy for human consumption and at affordable prices.

Abena is following her dreams and she believes that by growing her own food, she is better placed to reduce the risk of sicknesses associated with unhealthy food products. ‘‘I intend to farm as long as I live,” she told YEN.com.gh. Abena Safo Kantanka urged people especially women who desire to pursue professions in farming not to relent in the face of challenges.