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5 Things The Contemporary Woman Can Learn From Biblical Rahab

If there’s a common knowledge about Rahab, it is that she is a bad example of what no one would want to be associated with.

She is a whore.
A prostitute.
A very bad example.

Someone who people only talk about when they want to emphasize she is a prostitute.

But is there all there is to her? No!
Is there something worthwhile you can emulate from her? Yes!

You may not be a prostitute but you sure have something in common with Rahab. That is being a woman.

As a woman, what lessons can you learn from Rahab?

A lot.
But for time and space, I would highlight a few.

Come with me let’s learn from a harlot.

(For a little back story, you can read Joshua 2:1-24)

1. Sensitivity:

Being a prostitute meant that any man that walks into her house wanted to patronize her. However, Rahab knew exactly who the two spies who entered her house were and what they wanted. She was sensitive enough to know they didn’t come for “business” so she never bothered talking to them about it. She knew that as spies, their most pressing need is to be hidden and protected and she did just that for them.

What this spells for us women in contemporary times is that we should pay attention and be observant enough to shift our focus when need arises.
You may be in a line of business or rendering services. However, when need be, understand what your (potential) customer or client needs per time and give it to them according to their needs.
As a business owner or service provider, create room for bespoke services, tailored to suit the present needs of a client or customer.

Be sensitive enough to discern who comes into your life as a bridge to your destiny.
Be discerning enough to know that that random stranger isn’t just a random stranger but someone who could be holding the key to your breakthrough.
Be wise enough to know that that client might be the one client you need for your business to break even.

2. Understand time and know when to negotiate:

Rahab hid the spies and kept them safe because she knew what they wanted and why they were in the city.
However, just before they slept, she struck a deal with them. She negotiated with them and made them agree to the deal on her own terms.

As a contemporary woman, know that there are people who shouldn’t just be your customers but they should become partners in your business.
When you render services, don’t be afraid to negotiate, state what you want and how you want it done. What’s the worst that can happen? When you have recognized an opportunity, initiate the deal before you all get too comfortable. Negotiate and place your cards before it is too late.
Don’t be scared to ask for a raise in salary, especially when you know and they can see that you deliver topnotch in your place of work.
You know what you want so why hold back from asking what you deserve?

3. Trustworthy:

When the king of Jericho heard spies were in the land, he sent messengers to Rahab’s house to confirm if they were with her. Even though at that time, they were in her house, Rahab told the king’s messengers they were no longer in her house.
Interesting to know that the messengers didn’t bother to conduct any search to confirm.
This can only mean one thing; Rahab is a person of integrity. She is trustworthy.
If she said they weren’t there, then they weren’t there. She has a record of telling the truth. She has a strong record of integrity that even the messengers knew.

As a contemporary woman, integrity is an essential core value you should embrace.
In your environment, are you trustworthy? Do you have integrity that people can vouch for?
Are you known to keeping to your words?
When push comes to shove, can people stand for you and say your words are true?
Can they attest that your words match your actions?
Earn the trust of people around you. It is important because someday, you would need to bank on that trust when it is all been said and done.

4. Influence:

Clearly, Rahab even as a prostitute, was a person of influence. I won’t be mistaken to say she’s quite popular in her city. She wields so much influence and popularity that even the king knows her house. Nobody said exactly where the spies were but the king knew if there truly were spies, the first place they would go to would be Rahab’s house.

As a contemporary woman, how much influence do you have in your organization? How much do you have in your environment?
How much influence does your business have? The services you offer, what makes it different from the others?
Rahab sure wasn’t the only prostitute around yet, she stood out among other prostitutes.What are you doing as a contemporary woman to be different from the others?

Part of the agreement in Rahab’s deal with the spies is that no one would know about it until they all left the land.
Yet, Rahab was able to convince her entire relatives to come along with her. How was she able to do that without explaining what and where they are headed?
It means she has influence in her family and they trust her enough to follow her.

How many people in your household can you speak to and they will do as you have said without questioning?

As a contemporary woman, one of the ways to have influence is by directly affecting the lives of people around you. You can do so by rendering help when and where you can, teaching, mentoring and being there for people in ways you can.

5. Multiple streams of income/Investments:

Rahab was a prostitute yes, but it is pertinent to mention she didn’t rely on only income made from harlotry. She had other sources of income which are:

  • The spies walked into her house as soon as they stepped into the city of Jericho. This means she runs an inn where visitors can lodge.  That makes it a second source of income for her.
  • When people lodge, they would eat and drink before sleeping or departing. Which makes it her third source of income.
  • Remember she hid the spies in the flax stacks on the rooftops. This shows she is into the sales of flax. Which makes it a fourth source of income.

You wonder and how a prostitute had the wisdom to do all of these?

Rahab actually means expansion. Her potentials within her kept screaming and reminding her she’s more than what she is presently. She knew there is more to her life than being a harlot.

She knew she wouldn’t be a harlot forever so she invested the funds she made from her harlotry.

As a contemporary woman, know that there is more to your life than where you are today. It isn’t a crime to start small. It isn’t a sin to start little.
However, what matters in the long run is how much you are able to garner from the little you are doing now.

You may be working in a firm that is paying a sub par salary. You know you are more than what you earn currently.
Do the best you can, save what you can, invest in investments you know about. Be involved in other things that can fetch you legitimate income.
A little here and a little there fills the room in no time.

Don’t be comfortable with your present condition. Make the best of what you have currently but reach for more. Allow your potentials find expression.

Listen dear woman, it doesn’t matter how people see you. What matters is how you see yourself. What you call yourself.
People call Rahab the prostitute. But she calls herself Rahab, expansion. And she lived out expansion.

Your present circumstance does not in anyway translate to your ultimate reality. Rahab the prostitute became Rahab the grandmother of a king.

Who would have thought so?

What you have inside of you is greater that your present reality.
Don’t be afraid to reach for more because woman, there is more and you can be more!

 

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“My Passion For Humanity Made Me Involved In Charity”- Shulamite Eze

Shulamite Ezechi is so many things rolled in one. She is the founder and CEO of ANYISO an international NGO. She is an advocate, an author, and activist for girls and women’s rights.

She is the founder and CEO of ANYiSO a registered charity in the UK that runs multiple projects, seminars, workshops and conferences, and provides support and services for women, young people, refugees, and asylum seekers. She is passionate about women, young people, refugees and asylum seekers driven by inspiration and personal experiences. She is a feminist, an advocate and activist for women’s rights. Shulamite is an author, a community leader and a mentor to many young people, men, and women.

Shulamite through personal experiences and a passion for driving change, has served and still serves in multiple capacities in various human rights groups to make impacts through her voice. She has served as a member of the refugee women’s strategy group. She is involved in reviewing several policies affecting black and ethnic minority women and young people in Scotland, UK.

Shulamite continues to serve in various organisations amongst which are the North Glasgow community food initiative where she served as a member of the board. Shulamite is amongst the delegates for the First ministers National advisory committee on Women and Girls for Black and Ethnic Minority. She is an ambassador for Migrant Voice, UK. A member of the United Nations Association, UK, a member of Amnesty International, and a member of Friends of the Earth Scotland.

Shulamite obtained her National Certificate of Education (NCE) from Federal College of Education Technical, Umunze, Nigeria. She is licensed to teach having gained a certificate from the Teacher’s Registration Council of Nigeria (TRCN). She obtained a diploma in Community Development from the University of Glasgow, United Kingdom.Shulamite holds a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition and Dietetics, two master’s degrees; one in Clinical Nutrition and Health and the other in Policy Analysis and Global Governance both from universities in Scotland, UK.
Shulamite has won many awards including ‘the Inspiration to the BME Community award’ that was conferred to her at the Glasgow City Chambers, United Kingdom. She has been privileged to be invited to Oxford University Women leadership Symposium to deliver a talk on ‘’girl child marriage’’ and lead a group of women to UNESCO Spring School to tell their integration stories through drama.

Shulamite’s work to humanity and in community development have been published in both national and international newspapers. Shulamite is married and blessed with children.

She share her story  with Esther Ijewere in this Interview

Growing up

I grew up in Nigeria with my mum and dad. I was the eldest of nine children so it was always busy at home! My dad was an entrepreneur and my mum was a midwife; she ran a maternity clinic where people could come and get treated with support and help. She was always really friendly and attentive and my family was known for its hospitality, and I try to bring that spirit into the work I do now. I think it helped to grow up in an environment where there was always lots going on; it means I don’t get easily overwhelmed which is a good thing when you’re as busy as I am!

Inspiration behind  ANYiSO

My whole life I’ve seen African women face a lot of challenges and less appreciated. There seemed to be a lack of support for them, despite their growing need for support and aid, and domestic abuse on the rise without much being done about it. In Scotland, where I live, women who belong to ethnic minorities often don’t reach out for this support because they’re afraid of being discriminated against, because they’re scared of being stereotyped, but also because they sometimes lack the ability to ask for help due to language barriers and cultural differences. Being inspired, as well as having encountered difficulties myself, I was driven to make a real change in the world and to create a space where these women could safely and comfortably get the support they needed to be empowered.

The Journey so far…

It’s definitely been challenging, but it’s absolutely worth it! I started ANYiSO in my living room in 2014 and since then it’s grown more than I could have ever imagined. We’ve been busy implementing projects and raising awareness about our cause – it’s not easy gaining trust when you’re a new organisation – but we gradually built ourselves up and now we go from strength to strength. I’ve seen so many lives change for the better as a result of the work we do, and that’s rewarding. ANYISO works in partnership with local and international organisations to provide support to women and young people. We focus on strategies such as skill acquisition training, awareness building, advocacy and education. For us, education is the basis for development, so we encourage our women and young people to be educated. This we do by providing ESOL classes and creche for these women and also working in partnership with some organisations and colleges,and most of these women have gone back to school, gained employment and became entrepreneurs.


 You’ve won many awards and attended a lot of leadership conferences across the globe as well as advocating for the ethnic minority community in the UK. How does it feel to lend your voice to these people and to make their issues heard?

It’s really a collective effort: I have similar cultural background and experiences to the women we support, which makes it easier to understand what they’ve been through and the challenges they’ve faced or still facing. As an advocate, I do my best to communicate how they feel, the support they need and what their journey is like to the appropriate authorities, agencies, organisation and while helping to review policies that affect them. Through the work we do with ANYiSO I see how important it is for us to keep advocating and providing support and services, so I’m happy that we have the opportunity to use our platform and voice to support those who otherwise wouldn’t be heard.

Being  a mom, wife, motivational speaker, and author, amongst many other things, and managing it all

I’ll admit it’s not easy! All of my roles demand quite big time commitments. ANYiSO has grown in the last few years with multiple projects which is fantastic, but I’ve had to learn how to manage my time effectively in order to still have the time to do other things like the book i just wrote. My family is a priority so I always make sure I have time to spend with them. Having said that, I’m driven by passion and it is that passion that makes everything worth it. Seeing the progress we make empowers me and looking back, the hard work has absolutely been worth it.

My new book ‘Unveiling Your True Potential’

I’ve personally faced a lot of challenges and struggles in life, and I have seen myself doing things I never knew I could. I know where I used to be and have seen myself make progress.
When I was young I could never have imagined the things I’ve done now: I didn’t see any potential in myself. The truth is that everyone has the potential to achieve, but it’s often hidden or goes unrecognised. I wrote my book to inspire people, to motivate them to discover themselves and their potential to do the things they dream of doing. I hope that my story will help them to see that no matter what you’ve been through in life, nothing is impossible if you keep a positive mindset.

Being a feminist and my thoughts on how the world is well informed about it.

I think a lot of people today are misinformed about feminism due to the cultural practices and media coverage it gets. Feminism seems to have a bad reputation especially in African culture and people see it as a movement that lacks respect for men, idolizes women and despises men, but this isn’t at all what it means. It’s actually a movement that seeks equal rights for women and men, because women have faced (and continue to face) lots of discrimination in life and has always been seen as second class citizens. As a feminist, all I want is for us women to have the same opportunities as men and I strongly believe that more awareness on the meaning and importance of feminism are very much needed. For me, the truth is that most people, even men are feminist but unaware that they are. If as a parent you ever wanted the same opportunity, success, achievement for all your children be it male or female,then you are a feminist.

Making Impact in Nigeria

For some time now we’ve already been supporting people back home in Nigeria. We’ve provided lots of financial support and skill development training. During this COVID 19 pandemic period, we have supported a lot of people financially and also with palliatives. Some of the people we’ve supported are now able to participate in different walks of life that they wouldn’t have been able to participate in before, both in their families and also in social, and economic sectors. In the near future we’ll be expanding more our operations in Nigeria and other African countries, so watch this space.

3  women who inspire you to be better and why

I’d have to pick Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou.
They’re all incredibly strong women of colour who have overcame adversity and their ethnic minority background to make a difference in the world. Michelle Obama is graceful and carries herself with dignity – she was the first black First Lady – she demonstrates that there’s no limit to what you can attain in life. Maya Angelou went through a lot of challenges but she used her voice to send messages through her award-winning poetry, she was a true definition of making lemonade out of lemon.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I see myself as a strong woman and I recognise my own strength, tenacity and weakness. As a founder, seeing people being empowered through the work we do in ANYISO gives me inner joy and a sense of fulfillment.

The Nigerian Governement and Issues affecting Women and Children

They need to do more. Our children need to be empowered and encouraged to get an education; they need to be in the classroom instead of hawking on the streets. The government needs to support women in every walk of life, especially economically (through employment, skill acquisition and grants for business). Women education and empowerment is very important, because educated and empowered women gives birth to a developed nation

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We Worked Together For 3 Months and I never Noticed Him, Read Yaw and Esi Beautiful Love Story

The adorable couple won our hearts with the beautiful love story. They have lived in the same company for 3 months without noticing each other.

The bride-to-be, Esi never thought her work colleague will turn out to be the man she would spend forever with.

After Yaw walking to her office one day, they kept in touch and now they sweethearts ready to walk down the aisle.

Esi shares her love story:

My soon to be husband had been in the company I work with for over 3 months without me noticing him, not even once.

On this faithful Wednesday evening after work, our eyes locked as he drove pass by me with another colleague while I was waiting for my Uber. There was a mutual attraction there and then.

Yaw walked to my office the following day and offered to drop me home after work which I refused and as relentless as he can be, he kept insisting. I was left with no choice than to join him and this evening droppings became our daily routine. That’s where our little gossips and inquisitiveness started from, we would chat and still have something to talk about when we met.

Somewhere late 2019, he asked me out and I turned him down but he kept pursuing me. I later told him to give me some time to pray about it, yep. And this was exactly his words “You can have all the time you need to pray; I’ll be here waiting”. After about a month, I agreed to get to know him better.

Fast forward in 2020, we started dating with the intentions of getting married soon, little did I know that my son was just around the corner. My husband to be asked me to marry him a day just after my birthday at my surprise birthday party. I had a double portion of surprises, and I couldn’t have said no to this big YES!

Check photos below:

EsiEsi

Yaw proposes to EsiYaw proposes to Esi

Yaw proposes to Esi Yaw proposes to Esi

Esi and YawEsi and Yaw

Esi and YawEsi and Yaw
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4 Top Foods For Increasing Breast Size Naturally

The breast can be improved on/increased just by eating these foods making the growth as natural as possible…

The breasts can be made bigger using natural and artificial means (for ladies who prefer to go a size/cup bigger).

A lot of ladies (with small breasts) would love their breasts fuller, rounder and with ample cleavage to show off in some outfit styles!

Using artificial ways including enlargement drugs, lotions and cosmetic surgery usually come with side effects making the natural way through specific exercises and foods the better preferred way to grow the mammary glands.

Here are 5 foods that make your breasts bigger naturally

1. Seafood

Seafood contain Manganese that studies show increase sex hormones that helps with breast growth so including seafood like mussels, prawns, shrimps and even fish amongst others helps the breasts grow naturally.

2. Dairy foods like milk, cheese

They contain natural hormones that are stimulants responsible for developing the female breasts and if you desire fuller bosom then diary foods are best consumed well alongside normal diet to help fill up the area naturally.

Include foods like cheese, butter, yoghurt and milk in your diet increase in breast size.

3. Nuts

Nuts have been fingered as ones to stimulate breast growth. If you want bigger breasts double up on eating seeds and nuts to help stimulate the glands in the area for bigger results.

Nuts as cashew, walnut, sesame and flax seeds are ones to consume for bigger breasts.

Also Read: How to leave a toxic relationship

4. Whole grains

Whole grains are packed full with nutrients that are healthy as well as ones to stimulate the breasts to go bigger. Whole wheat and brown rice should be included in diets for bigger breasts.

5. Vegetables

Leafy greens are also foods to load up on for increased breast size. The upside is they come healthy too so why not?

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This Bride Wore A White Trouser Suit On Her Wedding Day And It’s Beautiful (See Photos)

The absolutely gorgeous bride rocked her stunning trouser suit wedding outfit with class.

Arklean
Arklean

Creativity runs in every woman’s vein and we always have to appear stunning.

Everybody including the groom can’t wait to see the apparel his wife-to-be would wear for their holy matrimony.

Emma and his girlfriend, Arklean got married recently in Uganda. They decided to break the usual fashion game at weddings this time.

The bride looked gorgeous in her fairytale Cinderella gown that had a trail and beautiful lace. She accompanied her look with flawless makeup and beautiful hair making her look like a real princess.

The groom, Emma, looked dapper in his royal blue suit combo and elegant pair of shoes.

After the church wedding, Arklean slid into a sleek three-piece suit made of an embroidered crop top, a coat that had a plunging neckline and a pair of fitting pants for the wedding reception.

It was truly a beautiful celebration for the couple and their guests. Pulse.com.gh wishes the couple a lifetime of bliss, love and laughter.

Check photos below:

ArkleanArklean

ArkleanArklean

Arklean and her bridesmaidArklean and her bridesmaid

Emma and ArkleanEmma and Arklean

Emma and ArkleanEmma and Arklean

Emma and ArkleanEmma and Arklean

Emma and ArkleanEmma and Arklean

Arklean and bridesmaids Arklean and bridesmaids
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Meghan Markle Share Heartbreaking Miscarriage Experience

Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, in a moving Op-Ed written for the New York Times, she revealed she suffered a miscarriage in July this year, opening up about the deep grief and loss she endured with her husband Prince Harry.

She said: “Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.” In the article, she describes feeling a sharp pain while she was holding son, Archie.

She wrote:

I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.

Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.

Recalling the royal visit she and Harry made in September 2019 to South Africa, she wrote:

I recalled a moment last year when Harry and I were finishing up a long tour in South Africa. I was exhausted. I was breastfeeding our infant son, and I was trying to keep a brave face in the very public eye.

‘Are you OK?’ a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.

‘Thank you for asking,’ I said. ‘Not many people have asked if I’m OK.’

She writes:

I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn’t responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.

Meghan says she was sitting in a hospital bed watching her “husband’s heartbreak” when she realised that the only way to heal was to ask herself “Are you OK?”.

In her article, the Duchess of Sussex reflects on how it was heartbreaking to learn just how many women suffer from miscarriages and yet the conversation remains “taboo, riddled with (unwarranted shame)” and “perpetuates a cycle of solitary mourning”.

In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from a miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.

Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks the truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same.

She describes 2020, as a year of breaking points for the world, the global COVID-19 deaths, social isolation of lockdown and the Black Lives Matter protests sparked by the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and many other in the United States.

A young woman named Breonna Taylor goes to sleep, just as she’s done every night before, but she doesn’t live to see the morning because a police raid turns horribly wrong. George Floyd leaves a convenience store, not realizing he will take his last breath under the weight of someone’s knee, and in his final moments, calls out for his mom. Peaceful protests become violent. Health rapidly shifts to sickness. In places where there was once a community, there is now a division.

On top of all of this, it seems we no longer agree on what is true. We aren’t just fighting over our opinions of facts; we are polarized over whether the fact is, in fact, a fact. We are at odds over whether science is real. We are at odds over whether an election has been won or lost. We are at odds over the value of compromise.

That polarization, coupled with the social isolation required to fight this pandemic, has left us feeling more alone than ever.

In the final part of the article, Meghan encourages people to ask: ‘Are you OK?’, saying that she believes that the ‘load of grief often becomes lighter’ when talked about.

In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.

As much as we may disagree, as physically distanced as we may be, the truth is that we are more connected than ever because of all we have individually and collectively endured this year.

We are adjusting to a new normal where faces are concealed by masks, but it’s forcing us to look into one another’s eyes — sometimes filled with warmth, other times with tears. For the first time, in a long time, as human beings, we are really seeing one another

The article ends with: ‘Are we OK? We will be’.

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Olabisi Animashaun: Driving Is An Acquired Skill, And Shouldn’t Be Gender-Biased

I was having a rough morning that Tuesday. I had grudgingly uprooted myself from my damp mattress, no thanks to Lagos consistent power failure. I had spent the previous tossing and turning, that is, after taking a shower for the third time before I finally surrendered to sleep. I had awoken with a strong headache and a sense of uncertainty, what would the day bring? How would my day at my 9–5 job be? The past few months had not been exactly friendly either but I digress…

While ruminating on these things, I found myself swerving to the left, almost landing on a fellow passenger’s laps. And then again, right, almost falling off the moving bus if not saved by the conductor’s swift intervention. From my seat in the second row by the edge of the bus, I saw the driver’s lips move profusely uttering not-so-quiet curses. On my right, the conductor backs him up by uttering some curses of his own. While trying to settle, I sighted a jeep in front, still trying to find its balance.

Now out of my reverie, I caught the driver pointing five fingers at the other driver whose face was still hidden by his tinted window glasses. The driver muttered something about “how women want to do everything. If dem no sabi drive shebi dem go carry moto commot for road”. Beside me, again I hear the conductor say “dem no dey hear that one, if you talk now dem…” he was cut halfway by another almost hit, a result of the other driver’s bad judgment.

Now properly vexed, the conductor hits the side of the jeep and yelled: “Madam e yi wo yin so wun na (Madam, turn your steering to the other side). Ti e ba mo motor wa e sha joko sile! (Sit at home if you can’t drive!)”. I jokingly asked the conductor what made him think it was a woman driving if he hadn’t even confirmed it. “Na who else go dey drive slowly and jagajaga like learner if no be woman. Una dey drive like say you dey fear the steering” was his response.

To be honest, I wasn’t even shocked by his response. I mean, I’ve been hearing that from male drivers over the years, but that morning, I wasn’t just having it. “What do you mean women don’t know how to drive? What has driving got to do with gender? It is a skill that can be acquired by anyone of legal age!” I heard a man behind shout “Dem no dey hear! Na so so defend dem go dey defend themselves”, this caused laughter to erupt from other men and some women. I didn’t let them deter me from schooling them, “Over the years, I’m sure we’ve all seen how ‘well’ men have ‘handled’ the steering”. “Aunty no dey talk like that, even blind person go know say that woman dey drive that car…” It was the bus driver this time, but before he could complete his sentence, the jeep driver had hit a Korope (small bus) in front and a fight about to ensue.

Realizing their mistake, the driver of the jeep steps down from his car only to reveal… a MAN. I couldn’t help it, ladies and gentlemen, I burst into well-deserved laughter. The driver must be worse than a blind person then (no offense meant to the blind). “So na man dey drive that kain way?” the conductor asked. “E be like say na him wife teach am how to drive” the man behind responded. “Maybe woman dey beside am dey distract am” another man said. Really? I wasn’t having it “How about the fact that you people would rather make excuses to justify your claims rather than accepting you were wrong?” I was met with grave silence.

I turned to the conductor, “Between man and woman driver, which one plenty pass for Lagos?” a long pause, then, “That one go hard o. How I wan take know that one?” was his response, while he scratched the side of his head. I saw he had already figured what I was driving at so he wasn’t going to make it easy for me. I wasn’t going to be deterred either. Like I mentioned earlier, I had had enough of the sexist thing. “Let me help you, it’s actually easy you see. We do not need a calculator or an official statistic to reach an answer. Let’s begin this way; how many females are Danfo drivers? How about BRTs, Trailers, Koropes, and Keke Napeps? Let’s not forget motorcycles, private cars used for Bolt, Uber and other services, and even truck pushers. How many women drive their personal cars? Even if the equation is almost balanced in the case of personal cars, we cannot excuse other vehicle owners/users who are majorly men” the silence is even graver now.

“My point is if the majority of the road users are men (at least in Lagos) and we all can testify to the state of traffic in Lagos, where and how did we get the idea that women are poor drivers? The real problem is that we have been programmed to base almost everything on gender, including acquiring skills. A woman will be judged for not knowing how to cook while the man is spared because he is a man. If indeed men are better drivers then we shouldn’t be having as many road accidents as we do, neither should be spending long hours in traffic if the men were truly experts in the field”.

At this point, I was almost reaching my bus stop so I quickly added, “It is not our fault that we grew up learning these things, but if we don’t take responsibility and unlearn them, we would be wrong for passing down these archaic and toxic ideologies to our children and the younger generation. Let’s be open-minded, when we hear a thing, question it beyond all reasonable doubts, weigh it from all angles, else who would be living in the 1800s while in 2020. I hope the next time someone drives poorly, you do not jump to a conclusion. Remind yourself that driving is a skill that is acquired by both genders.

“Aunty lawyer, oya o we don reach your bus stop! I suppose leave the money for you but you too get sharp mouth. Thank you sha, now wey you explain am like that, I agree small. We go dey try small small”. I alighted from the bus somewhat fulfilled. To think I started out moody and filled with uncertainty, that experience was the highlight of my day. I was able to reorientate at least fourteen people; hopefully, they were convinced and will pass it on. One life at a time, they say, till we change the world.

 

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In self development By

Damilola Ogunrinde: Sex, Condoms and Nigerian Men

A few weeks ago, I asked Tamara of the Yellow Wall what her thoughts were on sex. She told me that one of her deep concerns for young Nigerian women was that a lot of men hate using condoms.

It is a well-known fact that men often refuse to use condoms in casual, polygamous, or long-term relationships. So when I had a discussion with Dr. Pepple of Pepple’s Hub on another episode of Taboo Doctor, I asked him why men hate condoms.​ His answer was simple: it doesn’t feel the same. He, however, encouraged men to use condoms for the following reasons.

Sustained sexual pleasure

Due to the nature of premature ejaculation, condoms can prolong the time it takes before climax is reached, thereby leading to a more satisfying sexual experience and a happier partner. It will also give a whole new meaning to ‘no glove no love.’

Do not wait until you have STI symptoms to get tested

Symptoms of sexually transmitted infections for men include burning, pain, ulcers, and itching, however, waiting until symptoms begin to show may be too late especially if one is sexually active with multiple partners. Dr. Pepple encouraged young men to not only have condoms handy but also to make it a commonplace practice to seek out health screening and ensure they know what their status is for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and even syphilis. Read more about STIs.

Religion vs Sensuality

During our conversation, Dr. Pepple recalled an incident in his final year of medical school when a professor of gynaecology left a young lady with more questions than answers after she had come to him seeking advice regarding anal intercourse. Upon her exit, the professor had informed him that he believed evil spirits possessed her. Our culture and religion have developed social constructs that interfere with how we experience sex in relationships. As a result, we are less likely to have open and honest conversations about our sexual concerns and difficulties.

Fear of the unknown

Because we live in a society that is judgemental and almost hypocritical about sexual issues, many men are less likely to seek out help, even from qualified medical professionals. Many end up keeping it to themselves when they have symptoms and such delays could lead to infections which could, in turn, lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and infertility.

Getting an STI screen in a long-term relationship

A few years ago, I asked you if you trusted your partner’s partners and highlighted why screening was necessary. If you have any concerns, doubts or worries, get screened and talk to your partner about it. Your health matters and it is your responsibility to seek out the help that you need.

The conversation with Dr. Pepple was insightful and revelatory, and it exposed the concerns which men often have but are less likely to discuss due to the rules of engagement that society has constructed.

What do you think? As a man, do you feel more likely to seek out medical attention to assess your sexual health? As a woman, are you tired of cajoling your man to see a doctor?

Men, what do you think about the fear of vasectomy, is it a valid concern? Keep your eyes peeled for the vasectomy episode which comes out in two weeks. Make sure you subscribe so you do not miss out when it drops.

Source: Bellanaija

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In Career Gems By

Meet The 26-Year-Old Who Became A Rocket Scientist After She Was Enrolled In An Honors Math Class By Mistake

She’s one of the dopest engineers NASA’s seen thus far!

Dajae Williams is an accidental engineer. Her freshman year at Kirkwood High School in Missouri a teacher enrolled her in honors geometry by mistake, and that changed her life. Now, the 26-year-old is working at NASA as a rocket scientist and traveling the country speaking to young people about math and science using music. 

“Sometimes I still have to pinch myself,” she told reporters. “It’s always an exhilarating experience being around so many smart people, just being present, and taking it all in because there is so much to learn.” 

The native of St. Louis now lives in Los Angeles where she is a quality engineer at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab, which was made possible by the company’s Early Career Initiative program. She is one of the few Black people and one of the youngest to work at the research facility. 

“Look, there are some pretty dope people that I work with across all of the NASA campuses, but I’m pretty sure that I’m the dopest,” Williams told St. Louis Public Radio.

She’s not kidding, she’s been able to translate difficult math and science theories into easy to remember, and catchy, hip-hop songs. Teachers, students, and even her coworkers, have become enamored with her tunes. Recently, Williams was selected as a keynote speaker to share her story with the Science Teachers Association of Texas. She discussed how difficult it was growing up as one of the few Black people in a school district and how the lack of cultural awareness caused disconnect between her and her teachers. 

“Sometimes education can be, at least in math and science, it can be a very traumatic experience…especially for kids of color. We’re not necessarily taught in the language that we learned growing up,” she explained to St. Louis Public Radio as to why she enjoys working with children. “Your teachers don’t look like you, they don’t understand where you’re coming from. So I’ve seen some pretty traumatic things, and I also have experienced some trauma myself in education, so to see the kids dancing and laughing when it comes to education…that is honestly what brings me joy.”

She began using music to help her in class in high school.  Then went on to perfect her raps while studying at Missouri University of Science and Technology in Rolla where she was studying engineering management with an emphasis in industrial engineering. There she took Soulja Boy Tell’em’s popular “Crank That” beat and added lyrics on how to solve the quadratic equation, which went viral on social media.

Williams’ first love was music, she wanted to be a producer, but after seeing how well she did in math while in high school her mom encouraged her to try the STEM field due to its lack of gender and racial representation. 

“My mom convinced me to go into a STEM field,” she said. “She saw that I was getting good at math and science, so she was like, ‘Why don’t you explore this. There’s not a lot of women. There’s not a lot of black people in this field. See what you can do. See if you can make a change.’”

Her mothers motivation worked out for her in the end because now she’s able to use both her passions to make a difference. She worked on the team that helped build the ground support equipment for Sentinel-6, which is the first in a series of spacecraft that launched this past weekend to monitor our oceans. Now that she’s reached one of her dreams she pushes others to reach for the moon because they just may land in the stars.

“Put yourself out there. Apply for things that you don’t think you qualify for. Take classes that you don’t think you’re smart enough for. It will take you further than you realize.”

Source: Becauseofthemwecan.com

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In Inspiration By

My Inspiration Is The Holy Spirit & My Personal Experience- Robinson Maggie Ihuaku

Lamp woman, Robinson Maggie Ihuaku is an Entrepreneur and a Digital sales expert. Her entrepreneurial journey started in her university days where she sold corporate shirts.

She is a Sales coach (popularly known as the millionaire ($) salesgirl) with expertise in  Developing winning sales strategy ,creating a converting Sales & landing page , Copywriting & writing winning sales pitch .

Her mission is to reduce the early death of businesses in Africa by helping them  break sales limit & create a predictable revenue for their business so they can meet their financial goal & also by  training the best digital salesmen in Africa through her startup “iré” to help businesses grow.

She is has trained 1000+ entrepreneurs on digital skills & sales & impacted many lives through her trainings & books. She is also a youth development and mental health Advocate. She uses my voice and resources to train young persons in personal development and entrepreneurship. She also have a support group @the wholeness center that helps young persons handle emotional issues like depression, suicide Etc.
Maggie is a graduate of microbiology and a certified digital marketer. She has worked with influencers on different projects. She is an Ighub fellow , a proud volunteer, a Speaker and a trainer.

She share her story in this inspiring interview with Women of Rubies.

Childhood Influence

I started my entrepreneurship journey in secondary school but officially at the age of 19. My Dad is a lecturer at abia state polytechnic & my mum is a medical social worker at abia state university teaching hospital.When I was young ,I read my dad’s text book on entrepreneurship & business because he is a PhD holder in business administration. During the holiday , I follow my mum to her work place . She told me about the cases she had at work and how she handled it . These two things gave me a foundation in business , coaching & advocacy.

Inspiration behind the Lamp Woman

The name Lamp woman was inspired from the scripture , Matt 5 vs14 & 15 where it talked about us being the light of the world. Just as the name implies, it’s means a woman who radiates light . A woman who  lightens up a place that is dark . And that is what I stand for.

The Journey So Far

The journey has being filled with so many ups and downs but I thank God. After my first business failed , I went through depression & bankruptcy. I almost committed suicide. I was depressed for 6 months . But the Lord rescued me . I had friends who were praying for me & encouraging me . Right now ,everything is slowly failing in place. That experience helped me gain clarity of purpose of what I really wanted . I mean who would believe that A broke 22 years lady hits 5 figures under 5 months .

Being a sales expertise, youth development advocate and navigating different sectors successfully

 I feel so so  good .  You know that feeling you get when you do the things that gives you Joy. I love teaching sales & business. It’s something that gives me joy to see businesses grow. I also love talking to young persons like me especially in areas of mental health (since I’m a survivor) & personal development. For the mental health support group , we have mental health expertise we work with . This makes the work very easy .Navigating these different sectors has being easy for me based on the fact that they all originated from personal experience.

Inspiration behind the wholesome center

My inspiration is the holy spirit & my personal experience. I have being a victim of rejection & depression.I was expelled from secondary school in class 2 (Js 2) just because my dad pushed our matron down with anger .They didn’t just expel me ,They brought me out in front of the whole school & gave me the disgrace of my life .The same  experience almost happened to me at my second secondary school. This incident and many others I can’t talk about gave my heart a crack. While growing up , I believed that I was not good & that people wouldn’t like me ( I still have those feelings even though I have learnt how to handle it). That’s why I still away from people. But the lord is helping me deal with all the pain & feelings . Last year, I got an instruction to start a support group for people passing through the same thing passing through & here we are.

Challenges of bein a social entrepreneur

Funding : we need funding to organize events

Partnership : partnering with experts is not really easy. As a new foundation most of them have their reservations working with us.

Other Projects

I have other projects that are still on the pipeline

1. Iré: Iré is a virtual school that trains result driven sales professionals . We will be launching very soon .

2. Project B &B: it’s an initiative where we move to communities in Africa that and help them harness available resources so they can make money . We also offer them entrepreneurship & sales training .

And some other projects that I can’t take about.

Success story from my work that inspire me

One of my success story is how I was able to move from a broke lady to 5 figures under 5 months. For me it was a big feat. After I lost everything , I started working with in my mum’s poultry farm where she paid me 500 naira just for recharge card. Before then , I already acquired a skill in copywriting . I decided to use my skills to make money. I used that 500 naira to buy data . I sent different sales pitch to different individuals & companies. Luckily , I got a job as a copywriter. That was how I started.

Women who inspire me to be better and why

1. Nwanyiakamu – Mrs ijeoma ndukwe  : I love this woman from the buttom of my heart. The way she took a local product & made it global amazes me.

2. Ibunkun awosika :I love the way she loves God & her business sense. She is my role model because I dream of seating of different board of different companies like her.

3. Ngozi okonji iweala : One word for her is Excellence . This woman is a big inspiration. This is a shining light & I love her. I love her simplicity & her wealth of knowledge.

Being a Woman of Rubies

What makes Maggie a woman of rubies is that I’m a fighter. I have had ugly experiences while growing up but I always fight for what I want . I am very tenacious & persistent. It’s my trademark.

The Nigerian  awareness on issues centered around mental health and youth advocacy

I appreciate works done by some foundations like live your dream , manifest network ,vision alive , shecanwrite  & other organizations. But I think more work needs to be done. A nation is not wealth because of money or other material possession but the human capital she has . It’s only a healthy man that would see the need to develop his or her self. A lot of work is done on youth development but we need more work on mental health .Many young persons are going through a lot . Many have given up on life .

Beyond organizing events , young persons need one on one counseling sessions where they can pour out their hearts.

Follow her on Instagram @maggieflow_
Linkedin@Robinson ihuaku Maggie

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