In Editor's Choice December 16, 2020 By Women of Rubies

“Sex Education Shouldn’t Start When Your Child Starts Menstruating”- Adebimpe Adebara

There are unique women who wear different hats in different industries, they use their passion and skillset as tools for development and change. Adebimpe is one of those women, she is a Creative designer (Graphics and UI/UX designs) Sexual and reproductive health coach, Girl child advocate and a freelance photographer. Being a victim of child molestation she founded Piece of my heart Foundation where she leads a team of volunteers in educating sensitizing children and teenagers on sex education to prevent abuse.

She is a Skillz girl coach at Youth empowerment and development initiative where she educate adolescent girls about their sexual and reproductive health. Global youth ambassador at Their World, Lagos state Youth Ambassador and Girl impact Ambassador.

Adebimpe is a graduate of Yaba college of technology, Lagos. She is a trained child advocate by Christiana Faith foundation and Laura kid’s foundation U.S.A. An alumna of Lagos Business school (Leadership and Non profit Manangement). She is interested in meaningful youth participation and engagement and gender related issues.

She shares her inspiring story with Esther Ijewere in this exclusive interview.

Childhood Infuence

My childhood is what influenced my decision to educate people about sexual and reproductive health issues and gender based violence prevention.

Growing up, my parent died when I was just 7, having to move from one relative to the other. I was molested by my uncle. He will make me play with their genitals until he gets satisfied. This went on for months and nobody suspected , thankfully. I moved away from their house and I got adopted my mum’s immediate sister who happens to take care of me like her own.

At the age of 13, we lived in a tenement building know as (face me I face you ) Two of my neighbors got pregnant for a guy who was also our neighbor. I watched this two girls dropped out of school and became mothers as a child. It was really traumatic for me.

After this Incident I started getting flashes of my own abuse and suddenly I started attracting people who attempted rape from close people, it didn’t happen but the fear stayed with me.

This fueled my passion and I felt it people were aware and orientated, that abusers are trusted people. So that parent can also educate their children to make informed sexual and relationship decisions without violence or abuse.

Inspiration behind Piece of my heart foundation

I knew I had an assignment but I really didn’t know what it was, I pray to God about it. Soon, I started getting flashes of what happened to me as a Child and how God wanted me to turn my pain to purpose. I felt led to start piece of my heart foundation though I wasn’t sure what NGO was and how it was run at that time. I just wanted to make a difference in my community and I started the organization.

The Journey so far

The journey has been awesome and challenging at the same time. The journey has helped me to discover alot about myself, it has helped me to learn skills I never thought I could learn or know. The journey has brought me profitable relationships and realistic exposures. So many times i feel like giving up on the journey because of the so many rejections I get. I have grown a thick skin and rejection got nothing on me, maybe a little thing….

I have made alot of mistake running the organization but I learn from my mistakes. I’m grateful to God I started.

Being a creative designer, and using it to amplify my passion for advocacy

As a creative designer, my skill has helped my work alot, It had helped amplify my work, because most times I use the funds I get from my work to run the organization.

Sometimes I use my skill to preserve relationships. I volunteer to do designs for many people to help them amplify their works too. I’m a strongly believe that supporting other people is a great way to keep relationships.

Nigerians and their understanding of sexual and reproductive health

I think a large percentage of Nigerians are not well informed on issues affecting women and the girl child because most people tend to silence women in advocacy.

Every day women and girls are still faced with lack of access to sexual and reproductive health services, domestic violence, unequal pay for equal work,lack of quality education and so many other issue.

If I had an audience with the President to discuss work

Mr. President sir, In about two years of being at the frontline, working closely with Stakeholders in rural to communities to advocate for women and girl reaching close to over 10,000 person online and offline. I believe that not enough work is being done to protect the right of women and girls in our society. I’ll like the Government to consider partnering with CSOs and NGOs to reach the grassroots. I’ll like the president to amplify our voices by giving women equal representation in Government, empowering women and girls to avoid violence, implement laws that criminalize GBV. We have this laws. Why aren’t they being implemented. We will like the president to fund organizations working on prevention intervention and restructure our crisis management system, the system is too cumbersome.

Mr. President sir, comprehensive sex education should be part of the curriculum starting from primary school in other to help our children make informed decisions.

Challenges of my work

Challenges of my work, one of the personal challenge is trying to balance my career ( product design) with my NGo work, thank God for amazing team members. Many people don’t want to fund prevention intervention and our own believe is that prevention is better than rehabilitation. We are also faced with the challenge of a space for training. One of our aim is to raise alot of advocates. Who can represent us in their communities

3 women who inspire you to be better and why

Mrs Ibukun Awosika, I love the fact that she is a woman breaking boundaries. She inspires me with her love for God and humanity.
Anthonia Ojenagbon, she is a survivor of sexual abuse and she is giving other people a chance to be heard. She inspires me so much because of her resilience and her fight for SGBV.
Esther Ijewere, a woman with an heart of Gold, she inspires me with her selflessness, humility and doggedness.

Key nuggets on child safety & sexual reproductive health

Child safety is everybody’s responsibility especially the parent. As parents, you can not always be everywhere with your children but when you give them comprehensive sex education, you can be sure that they will make informed choices.

Sex education shouldn’t start when your child starts menstruating, it has to start right from the time your child starts speaking both the boys and the girls.

Many people mistake sex education for teaching about sex. Sexual and reproductive health education isn’t just how not to get pregnant. It’s about body safety, self esteem, puberty, gender roles, contraceptives use etc..

Education about sex, is not a one-off conversation. It has to be consistent and age appropriate. Use Google to learn what it age appropriate for your child and filter it with your family value.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I’m a woman of rubies because I am a woman favored and chosen to turn my pain into power. I never allowed my background to put my back on the ground. I’m proud of the woman I have become 😁.

In Inspiration December 16, 2020 By Women of Rubies

How do I believe in myself?

Believing in yourself and in your abilities is one of the best things you can do to yourself, for your own sake.

There’s so much you can be, do and achieve when you believe in yourself and in your abilities.

Believing in one’s self is a hard task for many and if you fall under that category, read on. This is for you.

How do you believe in yourself?

You realize it’s a choice. Your choice.

You revoke permission from anyone who tries to oppress you, drain you, demean or diss you.

You direct your attention toward what you want to do and how you wish to be vs. letting your attention swing wherever your mind or the internet wishes to take it.

You realize when you do something and then exclaim, “I can’t believe I did that again!!” or “How am I here yet again??” it is not cause to doubt yourself but rather a chance to say, “I’m alive, I’m human, and I get to try again.”

You educate yourself that your brain evolved to comment on your actions as a way to keep you safe, and these comments are not the arbiter of truth about you or anyone else. They are simply a by-product of evolution. You treat this voice accordingly: it keeps you out of the way of runaway trains and tigers, but it doesn’t determine what you believe about yourself.

You understand there isn’t a there-there when it comes to your self. Nothing about us is fixed. You can relax with this truth that we are each an ever-shifting range of thoughts, sensations, and feelings and we are therefore free to witness this shifting self with love, curiosity, and compassion.

Speaking of compassion, you get that compassion is your number one belief-in-yourself move. Your daily go to practice. You understand compassion doesn’t mean collapse or hiding or giving up but meeting yourself where you are.

You allow others to see you – in your relationships, in your creative work, in your glory, in your mess – because you accept your warts, dents, and wounds AND your brilliance, beauty, and goodness as much as you do everyone else’s.

You make commitments to yourself that you’re competent to keep and you keep them. When you don’t or can’t, you don’t hide from this fact. Or try to get away with anything. You seek to understand why and you begin again.

You realize living with congruence and integrity are your only way forward.

You embrace what a glorious mystery you are.

Finally, you realize, as often as needed, it’s a choice. Your choice.

In Career Gems December 16, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Instagram Star Allegedly Stabbed Her Mom, Cut Out her heart And Other Organs (Photos)

An Instagram wannabe star has been detained on suspicion of killing her mother by allegedly cutting out her heart and other organs while she was still alive during a frenzied knife attack.

The suspect, Anna Leikovic, 21, of Moldova, gouged out the internal organs including her lungs and intestines with a kitchen knife, it is alleged.

She then washed the blood off in the shower and went to meet her boyfriend for a date, according to reports. The woman, who is a medical student, is “suspected of committing a terrible crime,” reported Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper, citing police in Comrat.

Leikovic initially stabbed her mother Praskovya Leikovic, 40, at home, but she remained alive. The medical student then went on to cut out her heart while she was still alive.

The victim, Praskovya Leikovic.

‘She stabbed her mother with a knife and then cut out the heart of a living woman,’ the police source reportedly said.

The suspect ‘decided to rip the heart out of the chest of a dying woman. It is hard to believe but she cut out the heart in the most literal sense of the word.’ Leikovic then gouged out her mum’s other internal organs including her lungs and intestines with a kitchen knife, it is alleged.

Anna Leikovic.

The medical student, who has 9,400 followers on Instagram, appeared in court after being detained the day following her mum’s horrific death. Video footage showed her bizarrely lying unbothered down in the dock, cleaning her nails, before standing on a bench when the judge entered the court.

When asked by a journalist if she had slaughtered and mutilated her mum, Leikovic reportedly laughed and replied ‘goodbye’ .Police spokeswoman Lyubov Yanak said: “The detainee is the main suspect.”

She added that no one else was suspected of being involved in the brutal killing and mutilation, but “a thorough investigation is required to clarify the motive for the murder”.

According to media reports, Praskovya had returned home from her job in Germany. It’s understood that she feared her daughter was on drugs and then arranged treatment to help Leikovic, who then allegedly became angry, and violent.

Her uncle told reporters: “Praskovya loved her daughter so much, and she spent as much time with her as she could.

“It took two hours for the police to tell me Anna is the main suspect. I could not even imagine this.”

In Career Gems December 16, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Woman Announces Search For Surrogate, And N1.2 Million As Cash Reward

A woman took to Twitter to announce she’s in search of a surrogate mum and Nigerians have a lot to say about the requirements and the payment.

The Twitter user said the surrogate mum will be paid 1.2 million Naira for the embryo transfer, carrying the baby to term, and giving birth.

She specified that birth must be through CS.

To apply, the woman must be above 160cm in height, must have been pregnant before and must be “good looking”. Other requirements include genotype and blood group.

Twitter users reacted saying the amount the surrogate mum will be paid is too small for what is required of her.

Some pointed out that the embryo transfer process is painful, tasking, and sometimes lengthy as they may have to try multiple times before success is recorded. They also pointed out the changes to the woman’s body for 9 months and how she will be unable to live a normal life during that period.

To make matters worse, she has to suffer the pain of the incision scars and may take too long to heal from the CS surgery.

See some reactions below

In Career Gems December 16, 2020 By Women of Rubies

NCC Orders Telecom Operators To Block SIM Cards Without National Identity Numbers

The Nigerian Communications Commission, NCC, has given telecommunications operators in the country two weeks to block SIM Cards that are not registered with the National Identity Numbers, NIN.

A statement released today Tuesday, December 15 by the NCC Director of Public Affairs of the NCC, Dr Ikechukwu Adinde, stresed that any telecom operators that failed to comply with the directive risked outright withdrawal of its licence or heavy penalty.

”Following the earlier directive on the suspension of new SIM registration by network operators, the Honourable Minister of Communications and Digital Economy, Dr. Isa Ali Ibrahim (Pantami) convened an urgent meeting of key stakeholders in the Communications industry on Monday, December 14, 2020.

The meeting had in attendance the Chief Executive Officers (CEOs) and Management of the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC), the National Information Technology Development Agency (NITDA), the National Identity Management Commission (NIMC), as well as the CEOs and Management staff of all service providers in the industry.

Stakeholders agreed that urgent drastic measures have now become inevitable to improve the integrity and transparency of the SIM registration process.

Following decisions were taken for immediate implementation by all Network Operators: Affirmation of the earlier directive to totally suspend registration of NEW SIMs by all operators.

Operators to require ALL their subscribers to provide valid National Identification Number (NIN) to update SIM registration records.

The submission of NIN by subscribers to take place within two weeks (from today December 16, 2020 and end by 30 December, 2020).

After the deadline, ALL SIMs without NINs are to be blocked from the networks. A Ministerial Task Force comprising the Minister and all the CEOs (among others) as members is to monitor compliance by all networks.

Violations of this directive will be met by stiff sanctions, including the possibility of withdrawal of operating license. The general public is hereby urged to ensure that their NINs are captured in their SIM registration data,” the statement read

In Inspiration December 14, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Stop Waiting for the Universe to give you Permission… Just Start!

I love synchronicity and coincidences and feeling like I’m on the right path as much as the next person.

I know when I am pushing and need to back off, take a break, wait for my mind to calm down and for my next steps to show up.

I believe there is so much more than we can see or know at work in the world. I mean, think about it, our very brains are mostly a mystery to us!

But in the midst of it all, there’s a whole lot of women who seem stuck on the next thing to do. On the next step to take. On the right path to follow. They seem to be waiting for the universe to explicitly tell them what’s the next thing to do.
They say things like:

– I am waiting for the right time.
– I am waiting for a sign.
– I feel like I have to start my business because it came to me in a dream even though the whole thing makes me exhausted and I can’t get any traction.
– I am doing this because I think the universe is sending these thoughts to me.

But in all of these, there is only one question:

what is it that you really want?

We hide our abilities and power behind the “universe”. We excuse our inabilities and mask our insecurities under the guise of “waiting for the universe to give us permission to act rather than taking responsibilities and acting based on the knowledge we have of our values, wants and desires.

Toni Morrison wrote,

“To get to a place where you could love anything you chose, not to need permission for desire, well now that was freedom.”

Of course, when we do that, when we stop seeking permission to desire, there is a risk it won’t work. We’ll get our hearts broken, we will fail, or be hurt. And that’s exactly why I believe we sometimes default to waiting for the universe to tell us what to do.

We avoid the risk but we may also miss out on the growth that comes from choosing.

We can end up drifting through our lives with nobody at the rudder.

I’m not saying it’s all about our ego-bound desires. We want to listen to what feels bigger, wilder, and truer, not just what we have scripted (or that was scripted for us), but that happens, I believe, through an active mature spiritual discipline, practiced with a trusted mentor or spiritual director or within a community. We need checks and balances.

So in the end, it is not all about what we listen to, but how we approach listening and what we do with what we hear.

So, what are you doing with all the thoughts the universe is sending to you?
When are you going to act on those desires that keep you up at night?
When are you going to start acting on those plans you’ve been on?

It doesn’t have to be perfect in the beginning.

Just start!

In self development December 10, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Should You Really Learn Something New In 2021

It is that time of the year where so many things are flying around, especially as it touches the new year that is less than three weeks from now.

While it is good to make plans ahead for the new year, it is also important to ask yourself one important question:

“Should I really learn something new in 2021?”

Take a pause and ask yourself and try to answer it before you continue reading.

It is necessary to be intentional about what you want to learn and with whom you want to learn the something new.
Beyond learning something new, it is great to be intentional about spending time asking yourself the thing you are exactly curious about. What does your soul need? What would be of great benefit to your mind? Body? How would it improve your overall wellness and even your finances?

Reflect on what you want to learn and don’t just set out on learning something new just because you think you have to be in on the newest thing. Don’t set out on something new because you need something to fill a void or keep you “busy”.

The times you set out to learn something new just because, you can tell that you weren’t committed overall, you felt so unsatisfied and you ran off to yet another new thing just to satisfy your persistent and insatiable quest for the “answer”.

Now is the time to sit back and pay attention to your desires and where it leads. Trust what beckons you to learn something new and to be more realistic about what you have time to take in.

Here are the prompts you can use to focus your learning to what really matters:

1. What do I want to learn if time and money were no object?

Consider anything and everything. For the next month, the next six months, the next year, the next five years.

2. What’s my motivation in wanting to learn _____ (insert what you want to learn)?

This question helps will help you ferret out if your motivation is related to fears of not being enough or getting THE ANSWER.

NB: “because it would be fun” is a great answer.

3. How might I grow by learning __________?

By learning about programming, you might grow and develop your problem solving skills. By learning about dress making, you might learn how to enjoy the process and journey of a thing even as you look forward to its outcome.

4. How could I learn this for free? Who could I ask for help?

There is so much great information in books, on the Internet, in your friends’ and colleagues’ brains, and already on your hard drive – all those programs and classes you’ve already bought!
All those bookmarks you spent 2020 saving and you’ve never gone back to reading, all those tabs you have opened in your browser.

If cobbling together your learning feels too hard, stop and ask yourself if you really want to learn this or if you just want to buy something that will make you feel like you learned it? Then go back and consider your motivation.

5. How will I measure my progress? What will be enough?

This question addresses the hungry ghost feeling of always wanting more, more, more, or signing up to learn something so you will finally be ready to do what you want. This question helps you get more clear on what exactly you want to learn. Maybe all you really want to learn is how to do this itsy-bitsy budgeting thing that you can learn from your friend who is an accountant rather than signing up for a two-year course in financial management.

6. Do I have time for this learning?

You may deeply desire to take your fitness seriously or get a Ph.D. in data visualization, but if there isn’t enough time, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and waste.

7. Am I using learning as an excuse to wait to take action on a desire?

Learning can become a way fear convinces you to wait until you know a little bit more, have another certification or degree, or feel a little more confident, and then you can do what you want to do.

If that is why you want to learn, I beg you to first:

Use some of your materials and make a new dress. Practice that tailoring knowledge you already have.
Teach your subject to a group of friends in your living room.
Give a presentation at work on your subject.

There are a million ways in every field to create and share your ideas. Do that before you learn something new. Please!

And finally,

8. What learning would give you true pleasure?

Too often we sign on to learn things we think we should learn to prove ourselves to someone else, or because we are still pursuing a goal that we no longer care about. Why don’t we skip that in 2021?

Here’s to learning and growing until our very last breath.

In Career Gems December 16, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Whoopi Goldberg To Star In New ‘Sister Act 3’

Television production giants, Disney, has announced that a third installment of “Sister Act” is in production, with veteran actress, Whoopi Goldberg reprising her starring role nearly three decades after the original film was released.

Goldberg will return as Deloris Van Cartier, a singer forced to enter the witness protection program and be relocated as a nun in a convent.

The 1992 original was a box office hit and together with it’s sequel released the following year, all captured audiences worldwide.

Tyler Perry has been signed by Disney to produce the project. No release date was given.

Goldberg first teased a third installment of the franchise in October,
“For a long time they kept saying no-one wanted to see it, and then quite recently it turns out that that may not be true,” the actress and TV personality told James Corden.

“People might want to see it. So we’re working diligently to figure out how to get the gang together,” she added.

“Listen — bad singing, great singing. OK singing and then nuns. What’s better than that?”

“Sister Act 3” will premiere on Disney Plus, the corporation’s streaming service.

In Career Gems December 13, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Salt-N-Pepa’s Sandra Denton Sues Plastic Surgeon For Allegedly Disfiguring Her Body

Sandra ‘Pepa’ Denton has sued a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon for allegedly disfiguring her body.

The 54-year-old, who is a member of the hip-hop girl group Salt-N-Pepa, is suing Dr. David Sayah for negligence, over claims he allegedly pushed her to get three operations on her backside to fix the fallout she suffered in a July 2018 car accident.In legal documents obtained by TMZ, Sandra Denton says the wreck made the biopolymer injections she previously had in her butt and hips shift, leaving her in extreme discomfort.

The rapper also said he was referred to Dr. Sayah in Sept. 2019 to help her out, and the plan was to remove the biopolymer material and butt implants to relieve her pain.

According to the suit, the doctor initially convinced Pep to simply replace her butt implants with smaller ones because she claims he told her she would be distraught if she went back to her natural derriere.

Instead, Pep alleges that Sayah performed unsuccessful liposuction, which required yet another corrective surgery.

Before the surgery went down, she said Dr. Sayah pressured her into a different procedure which caused her buttocks to harden and knot up, making it difficult and stressful for her to perform on stage.

She claims the third and final surgery was in Feb. 2020 when Sayah finally removed the biopolymer material.

According to her, she had to visit another doctor because her butt was still hurting and, after an MRI, they discovered a “large amount of biopolymer silicone and dead scar tissue remaining.”

Pepa is suing Dr. Sayah for allegedly disfiguring her and says she’ll likely suffer from the injuries for the rest of her life.

In Career Gems December 13, 2020 By Women of Rubies

FIFA Approves 14-Week Maternity Leave For Female Players

World football governing body, FIFA has approved 14-week maternity leave for women players.

The new development, which was proposed in November, was given approval by FIFA council on Friday

According to the council, a player’s club will be “obliged to reintegrate her after returning from maternity leave” and as well provide adequate medical support.

In a statement on its official website, the governing body expressed;

The Council approved groundbreaking reforms to better protect female players and football coaches. The new rules, which are the result of extensive consultations with football stakeholders, will establish new global minimum standards for female players, particularly in relation to maternity.

FIFA will also introduce specific provisions establishing minimum standards for employment conditions of coaches, recognising the crucial role they play in the game.

Also, in a video shared on the governing body’s Twitter handle, Gianni Infantino, FIFA president, said the landmark measures are meant to protect women footballers.

He expressed;

The players are the protagonist of the game, they are the most important part of the game and we have to make sure that we set the stage for them to shine.

When it comes to female players, we should bring more stability to their careers. For example, if they need to take a maternity leave, then they don’t have to worry.

If we are serious about boosting the women’s game, we have to look at all these aspects.

Connect with us

Women of Rubies

“Sex Education Shouldn’t Start When Your Child Starts Menstruating”- Adebimpe Adebara

How do I believe in myself?

Instagram Star Allegedly Stabbed Her Mom, Cut Out her heart And Other Organs (Photos)

Woman Announces Search For Surrogate, And N1.2 Million As Cash Reward

NCC Orders Telecom Operators To Block SIM Cards Without National Identity Numbers

Stop Waiting for the Universe to give you Permission… Just Start!

Should You Really Learn Something New In 2021

1. What do I want to learn if time and money were no object?

2. What’s my motivation in wanting to learn _____ (insert what you want to learn)?

3. How might I grow by learning __________?

4. How could I learn this for free? Who could I ask for help?

5. How will I measure my progress? What will be enough?

6. Do I have time for this learning?

7. Am I using learning as an excuse to wait to take action on a desire?

8. What learning would give you true pleasure?

Whoopi Goldberg To Star In New ‘Sister Act 3’

Salt-N-Pepa’s Sandra Denton Sues Plastic Surgeon For Allegedly Disfiguring Her Body

FIFA Approves 14-Week Maternity Leave For Female Players

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