Societal conditioning, being mansplained and interrupted, being labeled a selfish bitch, sure that’s part of the reason it can be hard for us to speak up and ask for what we want as women and…
…there is also the fear of naming what you want, of taking it seriously.
Asking for what you want means ignoring societal conditioning, not minding what people will say, being bold enough to acknowledge and declare that your desires are worth paying attention to, regardless.
When is the last time you asked for what you wanted without waiting until everybody else got what they wanted first?
When was the last time you asked your colleague, “I want to see a doctor tomorrow could you please help me complete this task while I am away?” Instead of, “Do you think maybe, if it’s okay with you, and it’s not too much, you could help me complete this task while I see a doctor?”
Or you start to have sex with your partner and he asks you what you’re in the mood for and you say, “Whatever you want,” but you really have something very specific in mind?
Or you’ve decided to go back to school but you know that means changing things up in the family, who does childcare /cooking /cleaning but you keep putting off talking to your spouse, instead you make passive slightly aggressive jabs about who does the most.
Or maybe you are superb at asking for what you want at work but not so much for your creative life or your health.
We all have areas of our lives where owning our desires and power is more comfortable.
what if we expand our range of asking?
What if we start asking clearly and boldly for what we want?
Even if it makes us stutter. Blush. Stumble.
We can slow down and remind ourselves no one is going to die if we make our wants clear.
We can take the time to get the other person’s attention.
We can practice making sure we are asking, not demanding, reminding ourselves they can say no, they can make a different suggestion, and that doesn’t negate our desires or mean we can’t get support in another way.
Let us stretch to let ourselves know what we want, and then own it in front of someone we trust.
Every time we do this, we feel so much more alive. Like Oprah, Kamala Harris and Michelle Obama combined.
From whom could you make one clear bold request today?
Clear requests save time, they save heartache, they cut down on confusion, but most of all, they say “My desires matter!”
From whom could you make one clear bold request today?
What is stopping you?
Why are you holding back?
What is the worst that can happen?
Take that bold step and ask for what you want TODAY!
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