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Esther Ijewere

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SHE JUST BECAME THE FIRST BLACK WOMAN TO EARN A PH.D. IN NUCLEAR PHYSICS

Another glass ceiling shattered!

This past weekend, Kalisa Villafana made history as Florida State University’s first Black woman to graduate with a doctorate degree in nuclear physics. Villafana, a native of Trinidad and Tobago, received her undergraduate degree from Florida A&M University and came back to the states to pursue her childhood dream.

Villafana said she has wanted to be a physicist since she was 12 years old, the Tallahassee Democrat reports. She attended an all girl Catholic school growing up where she was “exposed to tons of physics experiments.” Her teachers at Holy Faith Convent in Trinidad used the physics experiments to help students understand the principles of matter and energy and how the universe works. “From then on, I said I want to be a physicist [and] that never changed,” said Villafana. 

Being an international student, Villafana wanted to make sure she entered into a Ph.D. program where she had support and community. She found that at FSU with world renowned physicist, Mark Riley, who she credits with expanding her access and opportunities. Riley introduced her to a network of mentors and resources. He also helped her to attend academic conferences and conduct research across the country during her time at FSU. 

Villafana served as a mentor to other minority students at the University, encouraging them to pursue graduate studies.

“In Trinidad, many people don’t know how to get to the United States and get a Ph.D. that’s paid for by the school. They don’t know how to go from being an international student from the islands to a doctor in the U.S. I want to show them how to get to the next point,” Villafana said in an interview with the Tallahassee Democrat.

The world of physics is mostly white and male, something Villafana acknowledges. But she hopes that her presence will motivate other young Black women to follow in her footsteps.

“I always encourage young women to pursue what they are passionate about and what makes them excited, even if they are a minority in the field,” she told Because of Them We Can. I tell them, “don’t be intimidated and that they bring new and invaluable perspectives.”

Dr. Villafana’s goal is to specialize in cancer research, working as a medical physicist. She now becomes the 96th Black woman in the country with a Ph.D. in physics, adding a new face to what physicists look like. “You may not see a lot of us but we’re there. We’re out there.”  

Congratulations Dr. Kalisa Villafana! We are all so very proud of you! 

Source: Beacuseofthemwecan

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5 IMPORTANT THINGS TO DISCUSS BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO”

Avoid a rocky marriage, trash out important matters before you walk down the aisle.

You don’t necessarily have to wait until marriage to begin to deal with certain marital issues

Since it is often said that prevention is better than cure, it becomes absolutely necessary for courting, engaged, or other couples in serious committed relationships to discuss the following things…

Work stress

This is one aspect of pre-marriage conversations that many people hardly bother with.

Except you both expect to starve and/or beg, then, at least one of you has to go to work.

Upon return from a long stressful day, different people have different ways of resting or chilling.

You and your partner should discuss this before marriage, so as to avoid cases where you are usually feeling chatty after work, and she just wants to left alone for at least 2 hours after her return.

This kind of conversation will help you both know how make suitable adjustments, or at least, know what to expect after you finally say “I do.”

In-laws

The matter of bad in-laws is quite terrible that I hear some ladies now pray to marry a man whose mother is long dead before they even meet him.

Let’s even forget how absurd and terrible that kind of wish is; the truth still remains that not all mothers or fathers-in-law will be dead by the time you meet your partner, so it’s best you prepare to relate with them because they will be present in your married life whether you like it or not.

Clashes often arises when couples feel divided or threatened by by in-laws. So discuss well what your spouse’s relationship with his/her parents is like, so as to judge if they are still tied to mommy’s apron, or mentally mature enough to stand up and resist unnecessary interference from daddy. You really need to discuss this properly, really.

Money

This one does not really need much explanation as it is well-discussed matter already. All that’s left to do here is to remind you to ensure that you ask the right questions.

Don’t just ask him how much he earns, or how much of her salary she saves. Ask of their relationship with money, which is basically asking them to give you a recap of their financial history.

You should also not shy away from asking them about their financial strengths and weaknesses [Yeah, some people can spend their last kobo on clothes, and shoes… and for some, it’s just sports betting… smh.]

Please ask them to tell you about their financial dreams and goals, too.

Sex

We understand that they told us in church to shun pre-marital sex. [Amen]

However, I don’t think anyone will ban you from you from pre-marital sex-talk.

Yes, pre-marital sex-talk. Please talk about it. The fact that you are contemplating marriage with someone essentially means you are sexually attracted to that person, and that y’all are planning to do the do soon.

So there’s no sense in being too shy to ask him how often he thinks you should be having sex in a week, ask her into which hole she prefers to have it [clears throat], also ask about that body count.

Yes! The body count actually counts, too, and try to be as open and honest with your answers as possible.

Babies and contraceptive techniques

How many babies do you ideally want? What is the spacing between births going to be like? What techniques of contraception do you think we should use. These questions are equally as important. Please ask them.

Source: Pulse Ng

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WAJE ANNOUNCES FIRST EVER NIGERIAN ‘BEDROOM MUSICAL’ CONCERT

Award winning Nigerian born music star, Waje has just announced her first ever owned concert; Red Velvet on September 1st, 2019 at the Shell Hall Muson Centre, Onikan, Lagos.

According to the organizers, the concert will showcase the songbird’s latest critically acclaimed R&B album ‘Red Velvet’. With the concert, Waje delves into familiar territory to explore the passionate themes from the album with a distinctively new burlesque story-telling style. Attendees can expect a full-blown bedroom musical from sensual, soulful love lorn ballads to fierce energetic affirmations.

Johnny Drille lead the pack of stars billed for the concert including Nonso Bassey, Chike and Good girl LA amongst others. The event would be hosted by Chigul.

She announced on Instagram “I have wanted to do this for a long time, to sing my truth to the world, my way. My goal has been to have a very intimate, passionate experience with you! The stars have aligned and it’s finally time! Please join me.” She added.

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OMAWUMI IS STANDING WITH BUSOLA DAKOLO AS SHE SINGS AGAINST RAPE AND MOLESTATION [VIDEO]

Omawumi has come out to openly stand by BusolaDakolo and other young women who have at one time or the other been molested and raped.

The award-winning singer and actress made this known during one of her live performances. Omawumi believes that women who have been molested and raped should come out and speak. She went on to call out a serving senator who was accused of hitting pregnant woman a few months ago and still got an award from some Nigerians.

“People have been getting away with rape for a long time. People that would say lemme just put a cap in…aside from that, they begged me that I should not say it but I have to say it. I would accept the fact that you don’t own up to the fact that you raped someone but shut da f**k up. 

“How in the hell in this world will a senator slap a pregnant woman and is still giving a speech and some youths are giving him awards. Nigeria we need to wake up, it is sickening…For every young woman out there arise from this from this shit. You will rise from it, I employ everybody out there that has a story to come out and say it. We will stand by you, we are standing by Busola Dakolo,” she said.

This is coming a month after Busola Dakolo had accused the senior pastor of Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly (COZA), Biodun Fatoyinbo of raping her when she was a teenager. That now-famous interview not only sparked off a conversation on social media but changed the lives of the parties involved.

In the video, she alleged that the senior pastor of The Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly, Biodun Fatoyinbo had raped her twice when she was a teenager [Instagram/BusolaDakolo]In the video, she 
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“PEOPLE STILL THINK THOSE LIVING WITH SICKLE CELL CAN’T LIVE LONG”– ABIMBOLA OGUNMEKAN

Our greatest test is being able to help someone while going through our own storm. This is what Abimbola represents to the many lives she is saving through her WarriorStory Initiative; a nonprofit community of people living with sickle cell diseases.

Abimbola, being a sickle cell warrior herself is helping other warriors fight and win.

Through her platform, she provides education, counselling and advocacy for sickle cell health and  shares stories of warriors with the aim of inspiring others and also provide  free medical service  for the first three months, after which patients can attend by paying a token as monthly subscription to access care.

Abimbola, who holds a post graduate diploma in Biomedical Engineering, decided to start up a business in health & technology called Toyo Meditechs.

Toyo Meditechs provides sales, installation, maintenance, repairs, and training in the use of medical devices and equipment, as well as Hospital Facility Design and maintenance. She birthed this SME due to her keen interest in health and technology and her experiences as a regular hospital visitor

The beautiful warrior shares her inspiring story with me in this interview.

Childhood Influence

Growing up, I always wanted to be in the medical field, infact I wanted to be a Medical Doctor, but as you can see I didn’t end up becoming a Medical Doctor. I remember always mixing “herbs” any time any of my family members was ill and trying to “treat” them lol… All the while growing up I dint know I have Sickle Cell Disorder, I just knew I had medications I had to take on a daily basis, my mum made sure I had to take them regularly and I remember I used to have pain episodes that most times landed me in the hospital but I dint know what it meant.

It wasn’t until I got admission into the university that I found out during the medical screening that was when I understood what the medications and the occasional pain episodes.

Thankfully my parents are comfortable enough to enable me access good healthcare.

Inspiration behind Warriorstory Initiative & Toyo Meditechs

I started WarriorStory Initiative as a way to get away. I had just finished my Post Graduate in Biomedical Engineering and I dint have a job but I had been a bit opened about my health condition on social media, so I used to get DMs from people asking questions like “I heard you guys die at a really young age”, “is it true your crisis ends at the age of 21?”, “I heard I can catch SCD by touching someone that has it”, etc; those DMs made me realize how much people were still ignorant about Sickle Cell Disorder, so I decided to use WarriorStory Initiative to educate people on this disorder, to inspire other SCD warrior as well as to create a safe space for SCD warriors so they know they aren’t alone in this battle.

For Toyo Meditechs, I studied Biomedical Engineering, and after school, before I got a paying job, I started volunteering for some hospitals to gain experience. I also realized I have a passion for it and I could start a business in it to keep myself busy till I got a paying job. I also started it because, as a regular hospital visitor, I experienced a lot of lapses in our healthcare system, like; non-functional machines, poor facilities, not enough professionals to handle medical equipment, long waiting time, etc, I wanted to find a way to promote using engineering/technology to better healthcare, hence; Toyo Meditechs.

Sickle Cell Disease sensitization

To be honest, we still need a lot more sensitization and awareness in Nigeria. A lot of people (even the educated ones amongst us) are not “health literate”; it’s not just Sickle Cell Disorders but other health conditions.

You’d be surprised a lot of people still think people living with SCD can’t amount to anything or can’t live long; I mean there are people living with sickle cell that are 30, 60, 70, 80 and even 90years. There’s Aunty Toyin Adesola who is over 50 years, there’s Mama Alakija, she is 94years, there’s also Bukola Bolarinwa, Oyesola Oni, Timi Edwin, Tobi Olusesi, Ibunkunoluwa Imabong-Abasi Ajayi, Ik Oleka, Halimat Mogaji, etc; these people are young and are doing very well for themselves in their varying careers and businesses.

 Other projects and activities

I recently launched a multidisciplinary led sickle cell clinic. In the course of advocacy and sensitization, I realized a lot of warrior can’t access affordable healthcare services and the ones that can afford don’t want to attend clinics because of the long processes in the hospital. I gave it a thought and bounced the idea off with some friends in the medical field as well as a consultant hematologist who introduced me to other consultants in other areas of medicine that care for Sickle Cell patients.

The clinic allows SCD patients to have access to different consultants (ranging from hematologist, orthopedic surgeon, psychiatrist, psychologist, plastic surgeon and ophthalmologist) in the same place and on the same day.

One Warrior story that has motivated the most

Hmmm…. I recently stumbled on a video where one of my favorite YouTubers; Sisi Ope opened up and shared her journey living with sickle cell. I could relate to every single experience she shared; from regular hospital visits, cancelling appointments/hangout last minutes, disappointing people, encounter with people that don’t understand, etc., but what inspired and motivated me is how she always picked herself up and bounced back, she dint let the condition put her down nor stop her from achieving whatever she wanted to achieve.

Work Challenges

My job can be quite demanding sometimes, most times physically draining, like climbing fleets of stairs, supervising, facing Lagos traffic and the distance from home to work, etc, which can trigger a pain crisis but I’m learning to balance my health, knowing when to slow down and take a break.

On giving up

Yes, there has been a couple of times I felt like giving up, especially when I have crisis back to back, or my health gets in the way of me achieving some things, sometimes I just get tired of fighting, but I’m grateful for the wonderful support system I have been bless with; they have always supported and encouraged me even when I feel like giving up.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I believe I’m a Woman of Rubies because my life, my work no matter how small or short has inspired at least one person and make them know that they can also do whatever they want despite living with Sickle Cell.

To Women living with SCD

LIVE and always do what makes you happy.

Living with Sickle Cell doesn’t mean you can’t get married nor have children or achieve your goals. These things will happen in their own time just believe.

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SAFETY: 5 WAYS TO PREVENT YOUR DRINK FROM GETTING DRUGGED

Whether you are having a drink at home or in a public space, it is supposed to be worry-free.

However, considering that there are reports of drinks getting drugged or spiked, one needs to be careful and understand the risks that come with leaving drinks unattended or drinking carelessly.

In this article, we will share some advice on how to remain safe and avoid tainted drinks while still being able to enjoy the experience of relaxation. Find below basic tips you should take into consideration to make sure you are drinking as safely and enjoyably as possible.

Only Drink Cocktails That You Can Watch Being Made

If you are drinking out in public or with company, ensure that you watch your cocktails or similar beverages being made. Order drinks that you are familiar with the recipe to enable you to monitor what is being added and if there is an ingredient you should be wary of.

Opt For Canned Or Bottled Drinks

Although canned or bottled drinks does not guarantee that your drink is taint free, you are decreasing the risk of your drink getting spiked or drug.

Bring Your Own Drink

If possible, consider bringing your own drink from home with you are going for an outing that requires you drink. it is an easy way for you to ensure that you know what you’re drinking and where it came from.

Seek Medical Attention ASAP If You Feel Strange

If you’re feeling weird after you’ve had a drink, don’t second-guess yourself. Ask a trusted friend to get you professional medical help immediately.   That way, you have someone looking out for your best interests even if you’re incapacitated.

Avoid Surprisingly Cheap Liquor

If you’re in a new place and you’re shocked by how cheap a handle of liquor is, then it might be too good to be true. This could be a sign that you’re about to purchase illicit or unregulated alcohol. If the price seems too cheap to be true, it probably is. Be mindful of cheap, discount products. Keep the four “P’s” in mind: place, product, price, and packaging.

 

BY:  AKINWALE AKINYOADE

 

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10 SIGNS YOU ARE DATING A MAN CHILD

Are you dating a man child? Do you know the attributes of a man child? There are many men in relationships who behave like children and expect their women to keep putting up with their childish behaviour. They don’t know what it means to love and respect a woman. Some men still behave like babies who need to be bottle fed because they are still holding on to the archaic belief that men are like babies.

Such men are bad news. Women should stop putting up with them for the sake of their sanity. Women should be careful not to fall for the tantrums these men throw. They are the ones who believe that abuse is not bad. They subtly encourage emotional and psychological abuse. They use religion and culture to cover up abuse.

Here are 10 characteristics of a man child women shouldn’t ignore:

He refuses to grow up

A man child refuses to grow up. He believes that a woman must babysit him, take care of him and clean up after him. Dealing with this kind of man brings nothing but drama and heartaches. He expects you to wash his clothes, clean his apartment, clean up after his relatives, and pay his bills too. When he goes into debt, he expects you to bail him out. He expects you to always make excuses for his bad behaviour, rationalize his poor choices and please him at all costs.

He whines about not getting sex

When you are not in the mood to have sex, the man child throws a tantrum. He complains about not getting what he wants like a child he didn’t get his favourite candy. He remains in a bad mood and becomes distant for not getting what he wants. He punishes you for not having sex with him by being moody. He also gives you the silent treatment. He doesn’t care about you or your reasons for not having sex with him. He’s selfish. It’s all about him. You really don’t matter.

He avoids conflict

Don’t let a man make you feel like you are troublesome because you need to discuss an issue. That is one of the signs of a man child. He will tell you he doesn’t want to fight and  won’t engage in an argument. He will claim that you love fight too much instead of listening to your concerns and working with you to make sure your relationship continues to go smoothly. Sometimes, arguing is part of a healthy relationship.

He avoids responsibilities

He will try to get away with doing things for you no matter how little they are. If you need a ride to the airport, he will come up with excuses as to why he can’t do it. If you need help with your car, he has reasons why he just can’t be there.

He tries to make you jealous

If a man child is unfaithful, or flirts with other women in your presence, he dismisses your concerns about his irresponsible actions. When you say it makes you uncomfortable, he tells you that doing that is not technically cheating.

He is quick to stop his woman from advancing in her career

All a man child wants to do is play with you. So if you can’t join him for fun because you are working hard for yourself and making your own money, he is not excited for you. He is not proud of you. He only complains that you don’t spend time with him. he sees your advancement to the top as a threat to his masculinity. Dealing with a man child is stressful. It’s like everything you do or say is a problem.

He supports gender equality when it benefits him

A man child supports feminism only when it suits him and when his woman has to settle his bills. That is when he will shout gender equality until his voice goes hoarse. A man child will let you foot the bill every time, because you have a lot more money than he does or because you offer to do so. He won’t remember then that it is an abomination for a woman to pay for a man’s food or take care of his money needs.

He subscribes to toxic masculinity

He thinks to be masculine means to never discuss emotions. He sees men who show emotions as weak men. If you try to ask him about his feelings, he becomes irritated with you, as if you are crossing a line and shouts you down. A man child leaves you feeling like you did something wrong.

He splashes negative feelings everywhere

A man child can be a little bit too comfortable with his emotions. He may have been a spoiled child whose tantrums were never dealt with. He will go to your friend’s birthday party in a bad mood sulking about what happened to him that day. He will not control his emotions, even if that means ruining everyone else’s mood.

He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions

Such men don’t know what it means to be responsible or take responsibility for their actions. They blame you for cheating on you, blame you for being abusive and also blame you when things start going downhill for them. Such men find it hard to own up to their mistakes and actions.

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“I MARRIED MY HUSBAND AFTER HE DIED” – WATCH THIS LONG-STANDING TRADITION AMONG THE IGBO PEOPLE

After her son, Ikemefuna Orji, died, Felicia Orji was determined to find a wife for him so the family lineage could continue. Her family performed all the marriage rites and Chinyere Ikemefuna Orji joined their family as Ikemefuna’s wife after his passing.

Twelve years later, Chinyere now has three children, whose father is an agreed member of Ikemefuna’s extended family.

This is a story of a long-standing tradition among the Igbo people that you probably have never heard of.

Watch.

Source: Bellanaija

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HEPHZIBAH FRANCES TO HOST HEALING CONFERENCE FOR SEXUAL ABUSE VICTIMS

Hephzibah Frances, author and social entrepreneur is set to host a healing conference for sexual abuse victims.

Frances who also doubles as a lawyer and the founder of ‘ Women At The Well’ a Christian women ministry based in Lagos, said her burden for sexually abused women inspired the meeting.

“I had a burden for sex abused women during a retreat last year and could feel their pain, hurt and brokenness”.

On why she is hosting the event at this moment, she said:”It is time. We wrote the book last year but now more than even before, many women are crying out for healing from pains from the past”

The event holding on Saturday August 3rd 2019 will be featuring Oma Grace Okonkwo and Iyinoluwa Onduru   who are survivors of sexual abuse.

The epoch-making event will be holding at Petit Paris Café, Admiralty Way, Lekki Phase 1 Lagos by 10am.

Frances also stated the reason behind her choice of speakers, saying: ”They were both abused – one at 8 years old and the other by a bike man while coming back from church. Both are married now, healed from the past and thriving in God. That there is healing in God. The Fathers heart is love towards them and they can be restored after past abuse and brokenness which is a restoration our speakers have found too”.

***Posted for free as part of our vision to support women and also identify with victims of domestic abuse***

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3 DATE RAPE DRUGS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT

With the issue of rape and sexual molestation currently a trending issue, everybody especially women need to be conversant about different ways to avoid getting raped or sexually assaulted.

The use of drugs is one of the ways rapists employ to assist them in their nefarious activity and these drugs are quite powerful and dangerous. Known as date rape drugs, they can be slipped into your drink when you are not looking and because the drugs often have no colour, smell, or taste, it is hard for you to tell you are being drugged until the deed has been done.

Before you go on your next date or take that drink from that ‘perfect gentleman’, here are some date rape drugs, their street names as well as effects on your body that you should know about.

Gamma Hydroxybutyrate Acid (GHB)

Gamma Hydroxybutyrate Acid | Photo – Twitter

Usually made by people in a home or street lab, and a small amount of GHB can have a major effect as it is a very potent drug. It is quite easy to overdose on GHB and the street names for GHB are Grievous Bodily Harm, Liquid G, Easy Lay, Liquid Ecstasy, Georgia Home Boy and Great Hormones at Bedtime. It takes effect in about 15 minutes and can last between three to four hours.

GHB can cause these problems:

  • Drowsiness
  • Nausea
  • Loss of consciousness (blackout)
  • Problems breathing
  • Sweating
  • Vomiting
  • Slow heart rate
  • Coma
  • Death

Ketamine

Ketamine | Photo – Pinterest

This is a very fast-acting drug and boasts of the street names Special K, Vitamin K, KitKat and Purple Bump.

Under the effect of this drug, you might be aware of what is going on around you but usually, you are unable to move and it more often than not causes memory problems as you might not be able to remember what happened while you were drugged.

Ketamine can cause these problems:

  • Distorted perceptions of sight and sound
  • Lost sense of time and identity
  • Dream-like feeling
  • Feeling out of control
  • Vomiting
  • Memory problems
  • Numbness
  • Depression

Rohypnol

Rohypnol | Photo – Twitter

Known on the street as Roofies, R-2s, Roches, the Forget-Me pill, Whiteys, and Mind-Eraser, the effects of this potent drug can be felt within 30 minutes of being taken in and usually last for several hours. Under the influence of the drug, there is a tendency for you to act like a drunk and have trouble standing. Other effects include slurred speech or unconsciousness. Rohypnol can cause these problems:

  • Muscle relaxation or loss of muscle control
  • Drunk feeling
  • Problem with talking
  • Nausea
  • Loss of consciousness (blackout)
  • Confusion
  • Dizziness
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Stomach problems
  • Death
Source: Guardian 
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