Esther Ijewere

In self development July 30, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

KATE HALIM: WHY WOMEN ARE CRUMBLING UNDER THE WEIGHT OF ABUSIVE MARRIAGES

It is sad that many women are crumbling under the weight of abusive and dysfunctional marriages

It is sad that these women believe this is normal. They see themselves as Messiahs that have the magic wand to make their relationships and marriages successful.

What a pity! It is a suicide mission trying to keep a relationship all by myself. You will crumble under that weight. It is not meant for you alone as a woman.

One of the lies that was sold to women many years ago was that the success and failure of their relationships or marriages was their sole duty.

Why many women are crumbling under the weight of abusive marriages

This is why we see many women crumbling under the weight of abusive and terrible marriages. They are being maltreated, yet everywhere they turn to for help, they are told to put in more effort for their marriages not to fail.

They go back home to continue enduring emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse. But they also wonder why their marriages are hell on earth.

Woman, you cannot do it alone. You cannot build a happy home alone. You can’t be building when your man is tearing it down with his actions. Don’t kill yourself for nothing.

It is not your job to keep a man interested in you or your relationship. He’s either making efforts to be the man you need or he’s not. You can’t force him to be who he’s not.

You don’t need to sacrifice your sanity or life for a bad relationship. You don’t even need to change yourself or stop living because of any man.

Respect yourself and demand to be respected too. All the people telling you to keep enduring a bad relationship won’t be in it with you nor suffer the consequences with you.

Live your life. You are lovable and perfect just the way you are. It’s not your fault if that man can’t see the wonderful woman that you are. Just don’t die on his behalf.

Relationships are not magic. It involves conscious efforts from both parties to make it work. Women, stop crumbling under the weight of abusive marriages. It’s not worth it.

You are just harming yourselves emotionally, psychologically and mentally. This is why many women are battling different ailments in their later life because of the effects of staying in abusive and loveless marriages.

Stop.

Source: Feminine.com.ng

In Interviews&profile July 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“I WANT WOMEN TO BE MORE SUPPORTIVE OF OTHER WOMEN”- IFU ENNADA

Born in the 90s, beauty entrepreneur, media personality and actress, Iheme Faith Uloma, a.k.a Ifu Ennada, is no stranger to the limelight. Bursting into our consciousness as a Big Brother contestant last year, she is also an event host and speaker and has moderated several panel discussions in various fields. Shortly after leaving the #BBNaija show, Ifu launched her beauty brand, beautIFU Ennada which debuted as a haircare line for natural hair girls. BeautIFU Ennada turns one today and, in celebration, she is launching a wig line, a line of pre-stretched braiding hair extensions called E’Zee braids, a state of the art salon, a beauty academy and store. She has also announced a reward program for everyone on her beautIFU Ennada train, 5millionaday, a platform for teaching entrepreneurs how to grow their business. In 2017, her self-produced and written short film, “Tears of A Broken Virgin”, which premiered at the In Short Film Festival won her Award for Best Actress. In 2016, she was nominated for AMAA Awards best young and promising actress for her role in O Town by CJ Obasi and has since featured in top TV Series like Tinsel, Ebony Life’s HM Travel and Tours, MTV Base Shuga and movies like Obsession by Judith Audu, The Quest by Dabby Chimere and Hire A Woman by Chinney Love. Passionate about women and a strong advocate for women who have gone through abuse, she sits down with GuardianWoman to talk about being in the eye of the storm, how poverty pushed her to do well, her soft spot for women and her plans to take over the beauty industry.

Your stage name is very interesting. Tell us how you came about it? Did you always have it or you coined it for BBN?
Ifu Ennada is actually also my official name, just not what I have on my passport, but it is recognised legally as my name and I have also trademarked it. Ifu Ennada is simply my name creatively rearranged, it’s the initials of Iheme Faith Uloma and Ennada is Adanne spelt backwards. I created Ifu when I was 17 years old and added Ennada when I was 19. I was a newbie TV presenter and needed a name for TV. I wanted something catchy but original, so that was how Ifu Ennada came to life.

Since leaving the BB Show last year, you have been in the eye of the storm severally. Is this deliberate?
Everything I say or do is deliberate, but how people react to it is not my responsibility. I’m very expressive and bold. I am also kind and respectful, so I’d never do or say anything to hurt anyone, but the media has a way of twisting one’s words and action to make great headlines that’ll bring them more traffic.

Tell us about your beauty brand in detail?
My beauty brand, Beautiful Ennada turns one today. It debuted with a line of haircare products inspired by the hair loss I suffered about two years ago. My hair wasn’t growing and I had lost my edges and every product I tried had failed. So, I started doing research and taking mini courses online and finally came up with some of my recipes. At the time of this discovery, I didn’t have the resources I needed to launch the business, but going into Big Brother changed that. We have helped a lot of women get back their hair including popular celebrities like Mercy Aigbe, who endorsed us publicly after our super hair growth oil restored her hair. We’ve also been publicly endorsed by American-Nigerian celebrity hair blogger, Naturally Temi. Since we launched, we have gradually expanded and are now set to introduce more products into the line while launching a new look. Also these products will cater to people with different hair types, natural and relaxed, textured and so on. We’re also set to launch a state-of-the-art salon, beauty store and a beauty academy.

You launched a product this week, tell us about it; what impact do you think it would have?
This week, I launched a first-of-its kind fashion accessory called the Wig Hat. It solves the problem of bad hair days by providing a fashionable Wig Hat covering. Wig Hat is basically a wig sewn to classy Fedora hats and baseball caps. We introduced it with six different styles. Everyone can preorder till August 7, when the Wig Hats will become physically available.

The beauty industry as we know is well saturated. How are you managing to break through and be seen?
In my corner in the beauty industry, it is saturated with mostly products that are hardly effective and give no value for money, but that can’t be said for my products. A lot of my sales are based on referrals and testimonials. This is what has made me successful in a short period of time. In everything, I always strive to give value even if it means making little or no profit. I’ve spent almost a year working on two major projects I want to launch. The new and improved recipes for my products and a hair extension line called beautiful Ennada E’Zee braids. Any other person could have launched quickly and made it available to the general public, but not me. It has to be 100 per cent and my conscience must be at peace with me before I can put it out for sale.

Tell us, what does 5millionaday mean and what does it do?
5millionaday is an online platform where I teach entrepreneurs how to grow and make money with their businesses. The name was inspired by a statement I made on TV. I was talking about the power of sales and how I made up to N5 million during a sales period, but people twisted my words and said I claimed I make N5million everyday. The small mindedness of these set of people led me to start 5millionaday. I wanted to teach young entrepreneurs everything I know in business and also motivate and inspire them with my work. I’ve been doing that since we started. I’m currently teaching my first online course on the platform titled, “How To Secure The Bag In Your Business.”

As someone firmly entrenched in both the beauty and entertainment industry, how are you marrying both worlds and making it work?
I am very passionate about beauty and entertainment. When I have a very demanding project in my business, I don’t take on any demanding acting jobs, but I do a lot of MC work because that is easier to execute.

You revealed that you suffered abuse in the past, how are you using your experience to help other women?
I counsel and speak to women when I can. I try to be there for them and help them get through it all. Also I connect them to some of my influential friends who take up the case and try to bring the abuser to book.

If you hadn’t gone down this line, what do you think you would have been doing now?
If I wasn’t in my line of businesses, I would have still been a creator in another capacity. I’m a creator and I love to bring things to life.

What do you think of mentoring for women, is it important especially for women-owned businesses?
Over the years, the society we live in has constantly dragged women to the back of the line and made her feel she’s not enough when she’s the very giver of life here on earth. Women are so powerful, but we live in a world that has been made to feel like it belongs to men. A lot of ladies have been brainwashed into thinking that only men have the capacity to make wealth. This is why it’s important to continuously mentor women in business, especially the young ones just starting out and to make them understand the limitless power in them. I truly wish more women would be supportive of women. It’s truly sad that when you look around, you find out that there isn’t much unity amongst women, but I’m here to change all that in my own capacity as a public figure and celebrity entrepreneur.

Both industries you are presently in are billion dollar industries all over the world. In your opinion, what can Nigeria do to become a major player?
Reduce the taxes paid by businesses in these industries and invest in these industries. Make very low interest loans available and generally just give us a survivable environment to operate in.

Doing what you are presently doing cannot be easy; what are some of the challenges you have faced and how did you pull through?
Getting the right staff, people who share your energy and goals is a challenge. Also, not being able to control certain factors, which are just beyond control, is another challenge. Business can be very frustrating, but the joy of fulfilling someone’s need by giving them good value makes it worth it.

Tell us something that has influenced your life and career positively today?
My past, growing up in extreme poverty, watching my sibling die in front of me due to lack of money to get good healthcare, reading other people’s stories and so on; all these have influenced me positively and made me the woman I am today.

How are you using your voice to help and encourage other women?
Everyone who knows me personally and follows me online knows I have a soft spot for women. A good number of my following online are women who are inspired by me. I try to be there for them when I can and if there’s a cause that needs my voice, I lend my voice to it, by all means.

If you could influence change, what change would you effect for Nigerian women?
I would change the way the average Nigerian woman thinks; how she sees her fellow woman as competition. I would make them know that wealth is not exclusive to men. We women are so powerful but we don’t even know how much power we have and possess.

What does your typical day look like?
My typical day starts with me not wanting to wake up from sleep because I barely sleep for three hours and have a lot of work to do. After I get ready for the day, if I’m working from home, I dive right into work and also monitor my staff. Sometimes I forget to eat till late into the night. I always end my day with prayers and thanksgiving to God Almighty who made and makes everything possible. I usually go to bed by 2:00am or 3:00am, sometimes even 4:00 am.

Wow! So how then do you relax and de-stress? What is your guilty pleasure?
I haven’t had time to do anything for pleasure or leisure in a long while. For now, I just sleep when I can because I’m always working, so I spend time resting my body and mind when I can.

In self development July 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

5 SELF LIMITING BELIEFS THAT ARE HOLDING YOU BACK FROM SUCCESS

Why do we often blame situations or other people when you don’t reach our targets?

Perhaps you are are the one holding yourself back from achieving success or, if you possibly limit your results because of what you believe?

Limiting beliefs have a way of creeping up on us; they reveal themselves in different ways. Even if we think our beliefs all support us, a limiting belief can often rear its ugly head just when we least expect it and completely stop us in our tracks or make things feel harder than they actually could be.

What is a Belief in this context you may ask?

It is simply a feeling of certainty about what something means. The reason it can feel so certain is because it’s a story we have been telling ourselves throughout our lives unconsciously looking for proof of its truth. We find plenty of proof because that’s what we are looking for and, the more proof we find, the more certain we feel. This means we can either create more potential, or more limitation depending on what the belief actually is

Here are 5 of the most common self-limiting beliefs you need to be aware of and some practical tips to assist you to move through them

1. I Can’t

This is one of the most limiting beliefs you can imagine, because it gives no opportunity of you being able to do what you are telling yourself you can’t. The more you repeat this statement, the more you begin to believe it. Your unconscious mind is always listening and it responds to what you are telling it. Some people have even described this response as physically feeling blocked.

Even if you are just using this phrase to excuse yourself from doing something for someone else, then find another way of saying it, for example “I am unable to do that for you right now”.

There is no such thing as, “I can’t” and this is because you always have a choice. You can do anything you set your mind to and even if you don’t have the skills yet, then you have the ability to learn those skills. If you truly believe you can’t at the moment, then add the word “yet” to the end of your statement to create more potential.

I Don’t Have Time

When you repeatedly say the same thing, you start to believe it and this means you will never find the time to do what you want. Holding on to this belief can keep you stuck for years.

When you start to see time as it really is which is just a social construct, you empower yourself to create a belief that works for you instead of against you. There is a simple and practical way you can do this:

Making a few simple tweaks in your own behavior, you will notice that you “always have enough time”, it’s just your choice as to how you use it, and you can begin to nurture that new belief.

3. I Am Not Good Enough

This is probably the most fundamentally limiting belief and it’s one that most of us can attest to having been at the mercy of at some point in our life.

We are always good enough and that’s the reason why we are here. We are good enough for each person, situation and opportunity that presents itself. Yet at some point in our life when our safety and certainty was threatened, we chose to believe that wasn’t true.

Because of this experience and what we decided to believe, we run patterns of behavior that are designed to protect us. When we are about to do something that will stretch our capabilities, we have a little voice that warns us of danger and tells us we can’t do it or we shouldn’t do it. This means we can often get in our own way and miss out on those opportunities, relationships and situations that can help us achieve what we want.

4. I Will Be Judged

We can often hold ourselves back from doing new things because we are afraid other people will judge us and see us as lacking in some way. Remember, we often focus on our fear; and the more we focus on this, we will see more examples of people judging us.

You have no control over what others think or feel and most of the time, they don’t think anything about you at all. They are more concerned with what they think or feel about themselves, just like you are.

If you feel judged by other people, it’s more often than not just a reflection you see of your own thoughts and judgments about yourself

When fear of judgment comes up for you, ask yourself “Where am I judging myself right now?” Remind yourself that no matter what outcome you get, just the fact that you are showing up and giving things a go means you are always more than good enough, and that deserves acknowledgment.

I Am Not as Good as Them

This is a self-limiting belief based on comparison. When we compare ourselves with others, it can really freeze us in our tracks.

This very limiting belief has become more prevalent since the upward surge of social media. It can cause us to waste precious energy, feeling we don’t have what it takes.

If you find yourself comparing and feeling emotions like jealousy, loss of confidence, annoyance or self-consciousness, then you can bet your bottom dollar this belief is playing out unconsciously.

Remind yourself that we are all different. This means we all have unique personalities, a range of different strengths and natural talents. It also means we all have different traits that require development. No one does everything perfectly and this is why we can all easily compliment each other in different ways.

There is no less than or more than, there is just difference. Just because they do it differently to you, doesn’t mean you are not as good as them; it just means you are unique and that is a good thing.

The Bottom Line

Identifying and acknowledging your self-limiting beliefs is the first step in taking back your own power. Blame can keep you stuck for years and over time erodes your self-esteem and can even cause you to go backwards.

True sustainable success is achieved from the inside out, by making the choice to work on your own belief system. It’s vital you weed out any beliefs that are limiting you in any way. This is the way to true empowerment and success, where you will open up your full potential and over time you will notice your life will become limitless.

Source: Lifehacks

In self development July 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

AYO AL: 5 COMMON SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING ERRORS FOR BUSINESS OWNERS

Business seems to be the real deal these days. Almost every one you come in contact with owns a business – from clothes to food, to agriculture, to cosmetics. Everyone wants to get their hands into something. Social media, has in recent times, become a tool for sales; but, while some people use it to its fullest advantage, others haven’t gotten the hang of it yet.

As an entrepreneur/business owner, you have to realise that you aren’t the only marketer in town. There are a billion others out there, so how you make your brand different and drive clients your way should be considered. Asides sellers on social media, there are business owners who have shops, easily accessible ones that one can walk into and buy stuff, so the question is: why should I trust my money into the hands of a stranger? Especially when I do not know the quality of goods I’ll be getting, or if the individual is a fraud.

Today, I’ll be discussing some errors which really dents businesses. You wonder why you aren’t making as much sales as you like? Then maybe your answer might be here.

Error #1: Your Instagram page is PRIVATE!
A while ago, a friend of mine posted a picture and gave credit to an online store for making her dress. I liked the dress and was interested in making one too, so I clicked on the tagged name only for me to see that the page was private. This doesn’t in anyway show seriousness as a business owner. Your page should only be private when everything on your page is about your personal life and not business. But telling a potential client that they have to follow your page before they can do business with you just doesn’t cut it. Let them follow you if they find your services faultless. Dear business owner, leave your page accessible to potential customers.

Error #2: You have the “No DMS, No messages, just calls!” on your bio
This is another error business owners on social media make. If you really love sales, I think you would open up every avenue for your clients to reach you and your services. What makes your business so special that you can’t be “DMd?” Why can’t you receive WhatsApp messages regarding details of your business? Please always put your customers first.

Error #3: Replying messages/inquires late
Business requires time and commitment and if you aren’t ready to put that into yours, then maybe business isn’t for you. I remember when I started my business, I needed carrier bags which would have my logo on it to be used in delivering my goods. I searched the ‘gram and found a few Instagram pages which were into that. I called, messaged almost ten people, but I either did not get a feedback or I was told my call would be returned. One person actually returned my call two days later and called me so many times over the next week, I was forced to block the line. If you cannot reply messages or answer calls immediately, please do as soon as possible and apologise for any inconveniences first. This shows you are a person of integrity and your business can be trusted.

Error #4: Posting poorly taken photos
This one can be an instant turn off. Most people who buy things on social media do so because they fell in love with the images posted. As a business owner who wants more sale, pay particular attention to the quality of your pictures. I do not think that I will purchase anything from a store whose pictures are taken in poorly lit places and on dirty platforms. Excellent picture quality says a lot about you and your business. They help to catch the attention of potential buyers. It is now left to you to retain this interest and ensure they close the deal.

Error #5: Not replying comments under the post
Several times, I see comments like “how do I get this? How do I order? Where are you based?” under posts and the strange thing is that these comments get no replies. Yes, I’m the first to admit that some customers can be exasperating. They want the same thing said over and over again, but that’s why as a business owner, you cannot excel without great patience skills. Ensure you reply comments underneath your posts. This shows that you have your customers in mind and that you are passionate about your business.

If you liked reading this, then look out for the next part. Till then, keep at it and sooner than you think, the world will tell your success story!

About Ayo Al

An avid reader and writer, Ayo Al hopes particularly to refract the ills in the society through her writings. A professional blogger, she is available for content writing, freelance writing and book reviews. Her works of fiction can be purchased on Okadabooks. Ayo Al is also a business woman, fashion enthusiast and a dealer of watches.
Need to get in her good books? Correct Ijebu Garri, dry groundnut and very cold water could do the trick.

Check out her instagram: @Ibiyesimama_al and twitter @ibiyesimamaAl.

I blog @chachushub..com
see link below!
https://chachushub..com/blog/

In Interviews&profile July 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

WHEN YOU HAVE TRY TO GIVE, WHEN YOU LEARN PLEASE TRY TO TEACH” – SONNIA AGU

Sonnia Agu is the founder of G-1st International Foundation, an acronym for God First, an NGO designed to propose solutions to social problems that affect the well-being of Nigerians. She is a devout believer in the Nigerian dream with over seven years of strategic and diversified professional experience in Social Work, Media, Aviation, Oil and Gas as well as Business Development. Agu is a certified Harvard Business School entrepreneur, self-motivated millennial and social entrepreneur. She is also a member of the Pan African Youth Commission and an executive board of director for the Nigerian chapter and has won numerous awards for her selfless service. In her bid to make Nigeria a better place, her foundation has partnered and volunteered internationally with organisations including Growth Foundation, London; SOS Foundation, Gambia; Lawrence Hope Foundation, South Africa and Food for Life, Hungary. The Civic Engagement arm of G1st Foundation is The Sapiosexual Club which is Nigeria’s first social will association, open to both local and international membership, driven by intellectual capacity and social enterprise. The Club employs a novel approach to empower young Nigerians so they are stirred and inspired to take social development seriously and apply their creative minds to contribute tremendously to the all-round progress of Nigeria and the advancement of the entire human race. The Sapiosexual Club now has a membership strength of over 10,000 young professionals and birthed a vibrant community of high achieving entrepreneurs, civil society leaders and public servants. In this interview with IJEOMA-THOMAS-ODIA, she shares her passion for driving social change.

Tell us about your growing up
I was born and bred in Lagos. I attended Christland Primary School, then Federal Government Girls College (FGGC), Oyo State. I got into University of Lagos where I studied Creative Arts, until my third year and then moved to Eastern Mediterranean University, Cyprus where I graduated with a first- class in Public Relations and Advertising. I then started my masters in critical aspects of Media and Communications. To further deepen my knowledge, I recently got certified in Entrepreneurship in Emerging Societies from Harvard Business School.

What informed your decision to start the Sapiosexual Club?
I have always had an innate desire to change the narrative and do good. I come from a very charitable family as well; I remember growing up with people always in front of the house with one issue or the other. The ice cream truck pulls up and the whole street lines up because my dad is buying for us all. We had over 30 cousins and extended family in the house every holiday as my dad was the one they looked up to, the list is endless. My Mum would take all our clothes and have us give to charity always. So, moving back to Nigeria and the things I saw broke my heart. I had to struggle too. Even with my First Class, I was working at the airport where I had to push wheel chairs and earn not up to N70,000. Men and women with children earned way less. I was transferred to Cargo at some point and it was crazy as the men I saw had families and they earned lesser salaries and were expected to live right, not steal, come to work Mondays to Saturdays for peanuts. I need not tell you my NYSC experience. The truth is, people are suffering.

Tell us about some of your activities
We have monthly gatherings, debates and a platform that allows us continue our intellectual conversations which are centered around entrepreneurship, work- life balance, human personal developments and relationships. We try to also change people’s opinions and narratives especially when the issues of Nigeria come to play. We also have a mandate to carry out monthly charity works and good neighbourliness projects; during the past election, we managed to register over 5000 Nigerian youths in
Lagos and encouraged young people to carry out their civic duties.

What has been the impact of G1st International Foundation as an arm of the community?
With our foundation, we have impacted, empowered and partnered with other charity foundations across Africa and the western part of the world. Our flagship initiatives-Essence of Nigeria, Girls in Nigeria and the Hub Project- respond to issues in the areas of civic engagement, education, girls/women empowerment and community development respectively. We recognise that people, norms and the way we interact in groups and communities are the processes that shape our development. Our projects and programmes are therefore geared towards educating, empowering, engaging and giving Nigerian youths a platform to nurture and realise their potential so that they are well-placed to contribute selflessly to Nigeria’s sustainable development.

What has kept you going in your social development drive? Aren’t there challenges?
I will say God’s grace. Not trying to sound sanctimonious but take His grace out and I will stop. The last intervention I had in Makoko scared the life out of me. I was held hostage at knife point, robbed etc. The hoodlums held me and my team and asked for money. I was first all robbed off my money in my purse, they helped us carry some cartons of food stuff, which they stole and didn’t bring it to the other end of the boat. It really hurt and scared me so bad. I don’t want to think about the feelings that incident brought me, as I almost threw in the towel.

How can more young people especially women be empowered to take on their dreams and make impact?
Women need to be intentional, especially women who are already successful. Women should learn to support and encourage one another. The fight isn’t against us, it’s against poverty.

From your experiences, what in your opinion is the challenge hindering young people from breaking grounds?
Fear! Most if not all of us are very skilled and industrious but the fear of failure and the unknown. A friend once said to me that he won’t marry even with N10 million in his account until he is sure he can be earning N1million a month. My point is, do it while you are scared, married, working, have a job, whatever it is, just start.

When you are not chasing your dream in social development, what is Sonnia doing?
To be honest, this is all I do day in, day out. I’m getting scared and worried myself. I have had to sacrifice all for this dream. I quit managing my dad’s company and my printing press. My dad owns a real estate and building factory which I was managing alongside the club. For some reason, the club demands my undivided attention.

What advise do you have for young people?
When you get please try to give, when you learn please try to teach. That way, the world becomes a somewhat better place. For instance, in your journey and life if you find an investor that’s willing to give you N10 million, I am pretty sure in the nearest future someone may need N100, 000 from you, please give them. If also you learn a skill or an idea, please share, mentor and teach others genuinely so they can be encouraged by your story.

What is your philosophy of life?
God first, stay happy, serve humanity.

Interview by Ijeoma Thomas-Odia for Guardian

In self development July 28, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

YETTY WILLIAMS: HOW PARENTS KILL THEIR CHILDREN’S CONFIDENCE

As parents or caregivers, we want our children to grow strong and healthy. We also want them to have healthy confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we may do things that actually hurt our children’s confidence and self-esteem instead of helping it.
Here are five ways parents can kill children’s confidence:

. Comparing them to others:
Instead of motivating your child to improve, comparisons will most likely make your child have low self-esteem. It is never a good idea to draw comparisons between siblings or those within their peer group. Children need to know that they are accepted and loved for who they are, not because they are better or not as “good” as another. You do not want them to feel like they have to act like someone else to get your approval.

. Always solving their problems for them:
Constantly solving a child’s problems or correcting their mistakes deprives them of a chance to learn, mature and develop self-confidence. This will ruin their chances of developing the skills and confidence required to navigate through life. When children solve their problems, even if they do not get it right, it is a great way to learn problem-solving skills.
Also, are you in the habit of speaking up for your child even when they are old enough to speak for themselves? This can make your child become withdrawn and lose confidence in their ability to speak for themselves. Allow your child to express themselves both in private and in public.

. Always shouting and nagging about their mistakes
Shouting at your children when helping them out with homework, or teaching them a skill can kill their confidence. As a parent, you have to be patient with your child. Making mistakes is an integral part of a child’s learning and growth process. At some point when you ask a question, they will be too scared to answer because of your shouting habit. Always correct them with care and make them feel that they can do it. But don’t over-pamper them. Teaching your child to accept mistakes and failures positively is a good way to go about things. There is a great deal of value in recognizing when you make a mistake and then correcting it.

. Making fun of their physical differences:
Many parents want their kids to be physically and emotionally flawless. They often view their children’s physical and emotional differences as imperfections to be corrected and/or changed. However, this has the opposite effect and gives the child a permanently poor body and self-image. Some young children have become anorexic just to escape being called “fat” while others become obese to avoid being called “skinny winky.” Most often than not, namecalling affects children’s self-esteem. These days, teenage girls cannot wait to turn 18, so that they can go in for surgery.

Focus on building your child up and preaching positivity. Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. Teach your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes mistakes.

. Living your life through them and planning their careers:
There are parents who plan their children’s lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond based on what they want for themselves. They believe that they are making their kids’ lives easier and less stressful. However, they are doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. Many people are living their parents’ lives, not their own authentic lives, much to their regret.

It is okay to set some boundaries and steer your child in a direction you’d like to see them go in, but let them have some independence. Support the choices they make and the lifestyles they want to live.

. Denying them your attention:
Children need and crave love and affection that only their parents can give. Not being there for your children creates “emotional neediness” in them. Some of these children crave and look for a “mother” and “father” figure in other people which could sometimes lead to abuse. Be intentional about spending time with your children. This might be difficult since we all live busy, stressful lives and have endless concerns as parents. However, give your children all your attention, some of the time! Whenever you have time to spend with your children, ensure that they have all your attention. The occasional hugs, kisses and “I love you” should also not be forgotten.

In Interviews&profile July 27, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

MEET YOUNG LECTURER, SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR & OPPORTUNITIES CURATOR GRACE IHEJIAMAIZU

Grace Ihejiamaizu, a lecturer and social entrepreneur who’s working to promote quality education and empower the next generation of leaders and entrepreneurs.

Grace, who graduated from the Sociology Department of the University of Calabar, now teaches social work at the institution, armed with a masters degree in rural sociology and community development from the University of Uyo.

She’s the founder of iKapture Centre for Development, a centre for youth development that provides afterschool education and services to students and out-of-school youth in Nigeria using creative learning methods and ICT.

While studying for her first degree, Grace joined a global campus-based organisation called Students In Free Enterprise (SIFE) UNICAL (it’s now known as Enactus UNICAL), and eventually served as its project director, shaping her life and helping her kickstart her career as a social entrepreneur.

After graduation from the university, she worked as a full-time volunteer with American Corner, Calabar and in the process, she kick-started my first personal project, RYPE (Raising Young and Productive Entrepreneurs) Initiative which later metamorphosed into iKapture Center for Development.

In 2012, Grace founded Opportunity Desk, a platform for youths looking for international experience through global scholarships, internships, jobs, conferences, competitions, fellowships, grants and awards.

She’s also the author of Go Global with Opportunities.

Grace has been named one of Google’s 12 brightest Young Minds in 2011 and a Global Changemaker in 2012. She’s one of the nominees for the 2013 Future Awards Africa Young Person of the Year Prize.

She’s been recognised by the US State Department as the “International Exchange Alumni Member of the Month for September 2012.”

Grace holds certificates in Civic Leadership from Kansas State University; and another in Social Entrepreneurship from University of Connecticut, USA.

We celebrate her for following her passion and impacting the society in the process.

In Editor's Choice July 27, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“I AM COMMITTED TO ENDING ALL FORMS OF NATURAL HAIR DISCRIMINATION IN AFRICA” – CHIOMA JOY EZECHUKWU-ALAEBO

Natural hair advocate; Chioma is a 26 year old young entrepreneur and final year student of Abia State Polytechnic, studying Public Administration.

Her unfortunate experience with hair relaxers and dyes launched her into advocacy. Chioma, who had spent the last three years of her life growing a healthy natural hair, is a social innovator who creates awareness on natural hair advocacy. She founded Black Hair Community and other online platforms where she has trained more than 1000 women across Africa how to grow healthy natural hair with ease. She also launched her cosmetics brand; Favent Beauty Cosmetics in 2017, Because of her passion for Natural Hair Care Education, and published her first book “Healthy Hair Secrets” same year. A book that explains what every woman’s healthy hair checklist should be.

Chioma is committed to ending all forms of Natural Hair Discrimination in Africa and encouraging African women to embrace their natural hair. She is currently working on a Natural Hair Documentary in line with the United Nation’s Sustainable Development Goal (10) that will expose the hair discrimination against African women and their children.

On the 25th of May, 2019, she hosted the first ever Natural Hair Growth Hangout in Aba, Abia State, where she had guest speakers and lots of natural hair lovers in attendance, the event went viral on Facebook and opened her up to more opportunities globally.

In her words: “Our hair is more than just hair. It is our identity”.

The beautiful “Naturalista” who is also happily married to her supportive husband shares her story with me in this interview.

Childhood Influence

My childhood really prepared me for what I do today. I was born into a family where mum was a petty trader and dad , a carpenter; I was faced with visiting the markets after school. Though, I had always wanted to be a lawyer, my childhood and environment rather prepared me for business and entrepreneurship. After secondary school, I couldn’t further my education immediately because of lack of funds. I was left with getting a job at Tonimas Nigeria Limited Aba to work as a factory worker. My experience in that company left a vacuum in my life that being just an employee will never fill. My stay there was one of the things that inspired me to be a business owner. Not just a business owner like a mere trader. But, to become a company owner. I stopped aspiring to be a lawyer immediately. And started dreaming to own a company of my own. The saying that our environment influences our thoughts is so true. I saw how a company is being managed , how jobs are being created, and how money is being made. As an 18 year old Igbo girl, It affected my thought pattern.

Inspiration behind your Black hair community initiative and my book Healthy hair secrets

When i was in JSS 2, I wrote one funny novel in form of a drama. I will say reading lots of books in primary school inspired the writing of the novel then. And, I have always wanted to be an author but don’t really know what to write on. I grew up knowing that the novel I wrote then was a trash compared to the books I see people publish. So, I had to let that aspiration of being an author die. Fast forward to 2017, I met a phenomenal lady by name Edirin Edewor on Facebook who advertised a free webinar to teach young people how to write a book with ease and publish it on Amazon. I had to grab the opportunity immediately. At the end of the power packed webinar, I learnt all that I need to actually become an author and I bought her book ” A-Z of E-book Publishing “. Having created a niche for myself in the Beauty Industry already, I decided to write a book that will give answers to numerous questions asked by various women concerning natural hair growth. Healthy Hair Secrets which is a hair care checklist, is a book I’m still proud I wrote. All thanks to Edirin Edewor

Reception

My journey into the Natural Hair Care Industry since 2016 to this point has been a roller coaster. Sometimes, I feel so bad and frustrated because of what I encounter daily on this journey. When i was starting, I reached out to some women who are already in the Natural Hair Care Industry to learn one thing or the other from them as a newbie. I got turned down and ignored by most of these women that I had to push myself harder learning most of the things I know today on my own. It was frustrating. It affected my self-esteem and confidence. I felt I wasn’t enough. The mental note this experience created on my mind is still fresh that I hardly go to women to seek for help or advice today. The experience made me determined and I am happy with the great reception I get daily from my customers, clients and prospective ones, I believe that the world is actually my stage. I’m just scratching the surface now. More grounds to conquer.

My Inspiration

The hunger to solve the Natural Hair problems faced by African women, and the successful stories of African business women all over the world inspire me to never back out of this journey but stay put in working hard and smart.

Greatest reward

Apart from being awarded the 2017 Start-up of the Year by Vision Alive Foundation after I launched my cosmetics brand- Favent Beauty Cosmetics, my greatest reward for what I do has been the recommendations and referrals I get daily from my customers and clients. They keep telling everyone about me. They keep announcing me to the world. They keep recommending me whenever someone laments about her natural hair. To many, these things may not be rewards. But to me, the recommendations and referrals are my greatest rewards for what I do.

Challenges as a Natural hair advocate

Not having a physical school here in Nigeria that offers Trichology ( the study of human scalp). Though there are online schools that offer this course, having a Nigerian physical school that teaches this will make a lot of sense. It is the foundation of every hair care business and should be offered in Nigerian schools just like every other courses. The absence of this is really affecting the natural hair care practice in Nigeria. Also, not being able to solve the problem of a client after trying out possible solutions is really challenging though I refer them to certified Trichologists. Getting natural hair women that are open to collaboration and partnership is tough. Really tough. But we will keep digging.

Media should do more

The media platforms and social media influencers in Africa are not helping in projecting the advocacy for natural hair. They will charge you to feature your works on their platforms. When you write to them to invite you to a radio show for you to educate the African women on the dangers of using unsafe hair care products like relaxers and permanent dyes or how to take care of their hair, they will ask you to pay them. When you can’t pay them, you won’t be featured and a lot souls keep living in ignorance.

My Natural hair documentary project in line with the UN SDG

I got the inspiration for this project after coming across and witnessing first hand a lot of abuses faced by myself and other African women just because of our God given natural hair. When I returned natural, I was bullied by my coursemates in school but I was able to pull through. That wasn’t the case of my younger sister who is also a victim of hair discrimination, verbal abuse and bully .The Natural Hair Documentary will tell the story of Afro hair as an African identity, the dread hair discrimination against African women and their children, the emotional, physical and verbal abuse faced by African women and their children just because of their Afro hair, the inequality eating deep into our society just because of Afro hair, and the way forward. In line with the United Nation’s SDGs (10 target 3), my team and I are working to ensure equal opportunity and reduce inequalities of outcome, including by eliminating discriminatory laws, policies and practices and promoting appropriate legislation, policies and action in this regard through this documentary project.

Being a Woman of Rubies

My story! Yes, my unique story is and will remain an inspiration to so many women out there. My goal is to use every possible medium or platform to solve the natural hair challenges faced by African women being my greatest weapon, and my inspiration to be a natural hair care giver and problem solver. All these attributes make me a Woman of Rubies.

Appreciation of black women “Naturalista”

We are not well appreciated at all! The verbal abuse, bullies, hair discrimination, mockery, assault, etc, it’s so alarming. Who did we offend? Why the hate? Why can’t we enjoy growing our God given natural hair ?

Advice for women who are having trouble with their r natural hair way and basic natural hair tips for beginners

Moisture is the Key! And to keep your hair moisturised, it is imperative to know the porosity level of your hair. Hair Porosity which simply means the hair’s ability to absorb and retain moisture, is what actually determines the products your hair needs and what your hair care regimen should be. Growing a healthy natural hair will become easy for you when you learn to treat your hair rightly. Stop using hair products because every other person is using it. Find out what actually works or can work for you. First step is carrying out a porosity test on your natural hair.

HOW TO TEST YOUR HAIR POROSITY LEVEL:

* Wash your hair thoroughly to get rid of any product buildups and air dry.

* Cut out a strand of your clean hair.

* Drop the hair strand in a glass of water.

* Pay attention to see if it sinks or floats.

* If it floats, it is low porosity hair.

* If it sinks, it is high porosity hair.

* And if stays at the middle of the water, it is normal or medium porosity hair.

Congratulations, now you know the porosity level of your hair.

This will help you know the products and hair care regimen your hair needs.

Advice for young women who want to go into my line of work

Hey Queens! My advice for you is a simple one. Do not stop learning. Be knowledgeable. Be your greatest cheerleader. Equip your brain. Remain focused. Volunteer and intern when you see an opportunity to do that. Attend events and network with like minds. Read books. Finally, invest in your personal development in any way that you can because personal brand sells faster. The world is your stage. See you at the top.

You can join my Facebook group (BLACK HAIR COMMUNITY) or follow my personal blog instagram page (@naturalhairadvocate) and my business page (@faventbeautyorganics) to learn natural hair tips that are result oriented and works.

Growing your natural hair can be very easy when done the right way.

In Editor's Choice July 27, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“I AM COMMITTED TO ENDING ALL FORMS OF NATURAL HAIR DISCRIMINATION IN AFRICA” – CHIOMA JOY EZECHUKWU-ALAEBO

Natural hair advocate; Chioma is a 26 year old young entrepreneurand final year student of Abia State Polytechnic, studying Public Administration.

Her unfortunate experience with hair relaxers and dyes launched her into advocacy. Chioma, who had spent the last three years of her life growing a healthy natural hair, is a social innovator who creates awareness on natural hair advocacy. She founded Black Hair Community and other online platforms where she has trained more than 1000 women across Africa how to grow healthy natural hair with ease. She also launched her cosmetics brand; Favent Beauty Cosmetics 2017, Because of her passion for Natural Hair Care Education, and published her first book “Healthy Hair Secrets” same year. A book that explains what every woman’s healthy hair checklist should be.

In her words: “Our hair is more than just hair. It is our identity”.

The beautiful “Naturalista” who is also happily married to her supportive husband shares her story with me in this interview.

Childhood Influence

Inspiration behind your Black hair community initiative and my book Healthy hair secrets

Reception

My Inspiration

Greatest reward

Challenges as a Natural hair advocate

Media should do more

My Natural hair documentary project in line with the UN SDG

Being a Woman of Rubies

Appreciation of black women “Naturalista”

Advice for women who are having trouble with their r natural hair way and basic natural hair tips for beginners

HOW TO TEST YOUR HAIR POROSITY LEVEL:

* Wash your hair thoroughly to get rid of any product buildups and air dry.

* Cut out a strand of your clean hair.

* Drop the hair strand in a glass of water.

* Pay attention to see if it sinks or floats.

* If it floats, it is low porosity hair.

* If it sinks, it is high porosity hair.

* And if stays at the middle of the water, it is normal or medium porosity hair.

Congratulations, now you know the porosity level of your hair.

This will help you know the products and hair care regimen your hair needs.

Advice for young women who want to go into my line of work

Growing your natural hair can be very easy when done the right way.

In Interviews&profile July 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

HOW ABIMBOLA OGUNMEKA IS FIGHTING SICKE CELL THROUGH WARRIORSTORY INITIATIVE

The best way to deal with challenges is to not just keep fighting until you win, but also to help others who may be going through something similar win.

Abimbola is a sickle cell warrior who’s helping other warriors fight and win.

She’s the founder and coordinator of WarriorStory Initiative, a non profit community of people living with sickle cell diseases.

The platform provides education, counselling and advocacy for sickle cell health. The community shares stories of warriors with the aim of inspiring others.

It’s also begun a monthly sickle cell clinic where it brings together varying consultants who have specialties in caring for SCD patients.

The aim of this initiative is for sickle cell patients to have access to affordable, fast and reliable monthly check ups and first aid care.

It’s providing the service for free for the first three months, after which patients can attend by paying a token as monthly subscription to access care.

Worried about the shortcomings in Nigeria’s healthcare system, Abimbola, who holds a post graduate diploma in Biomedical Engineering, decided to fix a part of it.

Nigeria needs to do a lot technology-wise to be able to care for patients, and Abimbola is helping to achieve this. She founded Toyo Meditechs.

Toyo Meditechs provides sales, installation, maintenance, repairs, and training in the use of medical devices and equipment.

We celebrate Abimbola for devoting her life to solving problems and helping warriors win. We’re rooting for her!

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“I AM COMMITTED TO ENDING ALL FORMS OF NATURAL HAIR DISCRIMINATION IN AFRICA” – CHIOMA JOY EZECHUKWU-ALAEBO

HOW ABIMBOLA OGUNMEKA IS FIGHTING SICKE CELL THROUGH WARRIORSTORY INITIATIVE

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