Women of Rubies

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Esther Ijewere

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Olutosin Araromi, the beauty queen who is partly Yoruba and partly Benin is the current MBGN Universe 2019 after becoming the 1st runner-up at the Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria ceremony Friday night.

Olutosin Araromi (Miss Taraba) lost her mom, Elizabeth Araromi on the 6th of September 2019 after a trip to Nigeria to pursue her daughter’s lifelong dream of representing Nigeria at the MBGN 2019. She wrote:

I never thought in my life I would be writing this but with a very heavy devastated heart I’m here to inform everyone of the untimely passing of my sweet Mother Elizabeth.

My mother and I travelled back home to Lagos, Nigeria to pursue my lifelong dream of representing Nigeria on an international platform so I applied to compete for @silverbirdmbgn.

Unfortunately this past Friday evening when me and her were coming back from the mainland after wrapping up my final evening gown fitting disaster struck.

Our @uber@ubernigeria broke down on the 3rd mainland bridge-ojoo express. When we were trying to get to safety and get into our 2nd Uber a danfo bus veered off track and struck my mom.

The danfo bus didn’t stop it kept on driving. Thankfully by a Good Samaritan we were able to get my mom into a car and rushed to the hospital. After about 20-30 minutes of trying to resuscitate my mother the doctor announced that the injuries she sustained were fatal. My whole life changed in less than an hour. Those who are close to me know how close I was to my mother.

She was my friend, my mentor, my spiritual prayer partner, my motivation, my confidant, my everything. She sacrificed her life to help me pursue my dream. The marathon will continue…I will still compete in @silverbirdmbgn to honor my mom and her legacy.

And in the future I plan to start a foundation in her honor. Threw this hard time in my life I’ve learned that time with your loved ones should never be taking for granted. Love and cherish the people who truly support you in life. And God will give you strength through all of life’s burdens. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me, reached out to me and donated towards my mom’s funeral.

Mommy I will make you proud I promise everything you taught me I will apply it to my life and teach my future children. I love you soo much ma, till we meet again in heaven, love you forever🙏🏾✨❤️(The go fund me link to donate to my mom’s funeral will be in my bio) #RIPmom#heavengainedanangel #iyaniwura #loveyou9/6/2019💔

Photo Creditsilverbirdmbgn

Oprah Winfrey has opened up about why she never got married or had children.

In an interview with People Magazine for its Women Changing the World issue, Oprah Winfrey says although marriage and motherhood weren’t exactly in her cards, she did consider it at one time.

“At one point in Chicago I had bought an additional apartment because I was thinking, Well, if we get married, I’m going to need room for children,” Oprah said.

However, due to the demands of her talk show, “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” Oprah said she started to think of the depth of responsibility and sacrifice that is actually required to be a mother.

“I realized, ‘Whoa, I’m talking to a lot of messed-up people, and they are messed up because they had mothers and fathers who were not aware of how serious that job is.”

Oprah’s longtime boyfriend, Stedman Graham, 68, also agrees that being married would have changed their relationship.

“Both he and I now say, ‘If we had married, we would not be together, no question about it.” she said.

Looking back, she says she made the right decision.

“I believe that part of the reason why I don’t have regrets is because I got to fulfill it in the way that was best for me: the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa,” she said. “Those girls fill that maternal fold that I perhaps would have had. In fact, they overfill I’m overflowed with maternal,” she added.

Earlier this week, Naomi Oloyede, an 11-year-old anti-corruption activist addressed the High-Level #Education4Justice conference in Vienna, Austria.

Naomi Oloyede, from NIgeria, travelled to Vienna, Austria in October 2019 to take part in the International Conference “Educating for the Rule Of Law” held under the Education for Justice initiative of UNODC’s Doha Declaration Global Programme.

At the High-Level opening, Naomi addressed over 350 leaders, policymakers and educators gathered from across the world and, on behalf of all children, urged them to make the world a better, safer and more inclusive place: “We want to grow up in a place where there is peace and where the rule of law is respected”.

Watch her speech below:

Africa’s first “Made in Africa” smartphones are here, and being made in Rwanda!

Africa's First Smartphone Factory Opens in Rwanda

 Rwanda Opens Africa’s First Smartphone Factory.

Jesica Nabongo has become the ‘first’ black documented woman to visit all countries in the world.

Ugandan Woman Becomes the First Black Person to Visit All the Countries in the World

 Jesica Nabongo becomes the “first” documented black woman to travel to all countries in the world.

Kosgei recorded the impressive time in the Chicago Marathon, just several months after her win in the 2019 London Marathon when she became the youngest woman ever to win the event at age 25.

Kenyan Brigid Kosgei Smashes Historic World Marathon Record

 Bridgid Kosgei

Odunayo Aliu is a trained educator and child advocate. In the last seven years, she worked in education and environmental initiatives. She is the founder of Bramble; a flagship of Love Letters Child Support Initiative. In 2016, she started Love Letters Child Support Initiative to mobilise resources for children who didn’t go to school. They were able to help over 300 children return to school and adopted 36 children for regular sponsorship. Bramble creates alternative learning spaces where children from rural and marginalised backgrounds of Nigeria can have access to quality education. It helps children find their passion for learning through the use of play and creative resources. The aim is to raise a generation of children who are creative and enjoy solving problems.

Odunayo has benefitted from scholarships and training from national and global organizations which include Social Innovation Academy (SINA Uganda), African Changemaker, kanthari Institute of Social Change India, Green Institute, and Global Goodwill Ambassador. She is a member of Ashoka Changemakers.”

She shares her inspiring story with me in this interview

 Growing up

I was lucky to be born at the time when my dad as a high ranking civil servant was deployed to Lagos state. That could have marked the beginning of a good life for me but it didn’t last because shortly after that, things changed and I was whisked away from my parents to live with my grandmother. That was the beginning of a nomadic lifestyle which soon became the highlight of my childhood. In my early childhood, I had lived in about eight (8) different rural/sub-urban communities and had changed school about 10 times.

Unlike many children in some of the rural communities where I lived, I was lucky because I had the opportunity to go to school, and even though I did not learn much, I had many children to play with. That often distracted me from my challenges at home.  I later pursued a B.Sc. Ed in Education and Biology.

As a child separated from her parents, I understand what it means to lack love and acceptance in childhood. That is why I started Love Letters Child Support Initiative in 2016, to advocate for vulnerable children. Bramble is the education arm of this organization, as through education I got my escape from the hardships.

Inspiration behind Bramble

Bramble is a thorny plant. We chose this name because it symbolises the life of children who are neglected, who are poor and who are orphans, especially from rural parts of Nigeria. No one wants to identify with them and they are often seen as useless just like this plant, which for a long time doesn’t produce fruit. But Brambles are resilient, after some time with the right resources and patience, it begins to blossom and you can enjoy its many fruits – most common among them are blackberries and raspberries. Now who doesn’t enjoy a good blackberry jam?

At Bramble, we offer a space where children can find their passion for learning through creative resources. We craft the learning experience based on the need of each child and invest behind their intrinsic curiosity. We have designed a self-learning curriculum which includes project based learning. Our aim is to raise a generation of children who are creativity, thinks critically, and enjoy solving problem. Bramble provides alternatives which parents in rural communities do not have today.

Why Ibadan

I spent some years in the interiors of Ibadan while growing up. Ibadan is the third largest city in Nigeria with a high number of children who are already in labour force. Ibadan is also rich in diversity; the very poor and very rich, various religious groups, and even different nationalities, they all coexist peacefully. When we were ready to setup Bramble learning Space, Ibadan was the right place to begin.

In 2018, we began working in Ibadan. We have conducted community programs and a pilot project at Balogun Ibikunle, Ayeeye and Beere axis, Ibadan. We are currently working in Arikanki village, where we are building an alternative learning space for children who live in these communities.

Being a recipient of many awards and scholarships

I am grateful for all the trainings I have ever had and to all the good people who have invested their knowledge in me, they have all brought me thus far. Most of the trainings had come at a time when I needed a specific knowledge to move the organisation to the next milestone. A great example would be my one year study with kanthari Institute of Social Change, India. I gained a better perspective into everything that has to do with my work. This training gave my career a leap and gave me a family and friends and they are constantly encouraging me.

My 100k campaign for plastic bottles

On June 5, 2019- World Environment Day, Bramble launched a 3 month campaign for donations of 100,000 plastic bottles which will be used to build two classrooms for children in Arikanki village, Ibadan. This community exist and there is no school or any learning facility for the population of children that lives in it. Both Arikanki village and the five surrounding villages have to depend on low standard private schools which are situated miles away from the villages. Because of these circumstances, many parents end up choosing farming activities for their children over going to school.

We have been able to mobilise the number of bottles needed and we have begun the first phase of the construction work. We just concluded a 4-weeks holiday program that benefited over 60 children in this community and the first batch of children will resume at the learning space on September 16, 2019.

Entrepreneurial Challenge

One of the challenges we face regularly while working with community members is their inability to see education beyond the four-wall of a classroom. However, this has made us improve on our storytelling skills since we have to paint lucid images of alternative ways to education. Resource mobilization is a struggle. We also have to improvise with local resources which on the long run, makes our work more sustainable.

Giving up

 I have been overwhelmed and funnily, I often remember a song lyric that reads ‘Do dreams ever come true in this part of the world?’ But to me, giving up has never been an option. I do know this is my life call and I cannot be truly happy if I ignore it.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I guess I will spend my lifetime finding that out. There have been several times I amazed myself, especially how I dust off my butt when I hit the rock bottom…rest but don’t stop. I am a woman of purpose, I know this so well. It would be an honour to be considered among one of the many ‘faceless or nameless’ women trending the less travelled path.

Dear Woman…

Build your skills, have faith in your own journey and appreciate process.

Oluwatosin Ayinde is graduate of Mass Communication from The Polytechnic, Ibadan. A widow who lost her  husband to cancer five years ago. The beautiful single mom of one runs a  Multi-purpose ventures that deal in household items, general merchandise, contracts, clothing and boutique services.
She answers our #7questions below;
What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear is failure. I don’t want to fail as a mother, neither do I want to fail as a woman.
2.  In your darkest moments, what do you do?
In my darkest moments, I cry. I lock myself up and cry bitterly, afterwards I pray and I hope.
3.  What is that one thing you would like to change about yourself?
I would like to be more confident of myself. I would like to worry less and focus more. Focus on my business, on my child and on my career.
4.  Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Five years from now, I see myself happily married with one or more kids, I see myself a successful business woman having at least 3 outlets in the metropolis of Lagos and 2 more outside Lagos.
I see myself as an Msc. Graduate, I see myself as a successful and supportive wife and mother.
5.  What keeps you going?
 Hope and my son – hope keeps me going. Hope fails not.
Many times, I get overwhelmed and weighed down, attimes I take a break and rest but I dare not quit.
I lost my parents at a time I needed them most, which has robbed me of many opportunities and support in life. Being an orphan has been a very great obstacle to my life. Now, I’m a mother, I have a son whom we lost his Dad 5 years ago. I want to be there for my son at every phase of his life, I don’t want him to suffer the same fate as me. So, my son keeps me going. I have to be there for him, I must not make him weep and wish his parents were alive. I have to be strong, for him.
6.   What is your stand on feminism? Do you consider yourself a feminist?
Well, feminism in the sense of it, isn’t anti-men. Feminism is a voice to the voiceless. It has given hope and support to many people. Feminism is not bad. Yes, I consider myself a feminist.
7.  What keeps you up at night?
When I wish to accomplish a thing and it seems unachievable, it keeps me up at night. When things aren’t looking positive for me, I lose my sleep.
*Want to be featured on #7Questions? Send a mail to info@womenofrubies.com

For the first time in history Miss USA, Miss Teen USA, and Miss America are all Black women as they get featured in Essence Magazine.

A Black opera singer, a Black lawyer and a Black high school student activist made History after being crowned Miss America, Miss USA and Miss Teen USA, respectively.

Nia Franklin, Miss America 2019 said: “My title and my crown mean a chance to be inclusive. It gives me the opportunity to represent a group that has not always been represented in this country.”

“Holding this title has made a difference in my life and the life of those around me, not only because I am a woman of color but also because I am biracial.” says Kaliegh Garris, Miss Teen USA 2019.

While Cheslie Kryst, Miss USA 2019 shared, “Pageants weren’t always welcoming to women of color. It took decades of persistence and courageous women showing the world a new kind of beauty.”

Click here to read the full article

See photos below

Watch their Essence Uncovered interview below:

Elizabeth Ajetunmobi is a human resource consultant, educator, family life practitioner, life coach, author and CEO of Aymie Staffing Solutions, a staffing and placement agency based in Lagos. An alumnus of University of Nottingham, United Kingdom, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife and Park Royal and Lagos Finishing School, her training and experience spans several fields including Education, Family Life, Child Abuse and Human Resources. Recently celebrating outstanding nannies at the annual Nanny Recognition Week, she spoke on the motivation behind this, putting structures in place and why it is essential for working mothers to get help.

What was the inspiration behind starting your business?
I worked as a classroom teacher for close to 10 years and when I was working there, I had cause to interact with a lot of domestic staff, nannies, drivers and so on. When you see some of them, you will be happy because the child is obviously being well taken care of and you will see others and wonder why the child was left alone with the caregiver. This used to bother me a lot and I started wondering what I could do about this. The parents are at work and if the caregivers don’t know better, how can they take care of the children left in their care? I saw a gap here and this got me thinking on the need to give orientation and training to domestic staff to enable them work effectively and take care of children left in their care and also to put the correct structures in place.

You celebrated nannies at the Nanny Recognition Week; this is quite uncommon in this industry, what was the purpose?
This week is celebrated all over the world and falls between September 22-28 and the reason for celebrating nannies isn’t far- fetched. Nannies are doing an amazing job, they are rendering essential services and everyone needs a nanny or help with childcare. Shouldn’t we appreciate them and let them know they’re doing a fantastic job and celebrate them? We just want to thank them for everything they do as they are truly amazing people.

Venturing into this business must not have come cheap; how did you get the funds to start out?
It wasn’t cheap and I started with personal funds. We all know running a business in Nigeria isn’t easy and comes with a lot of challenges but we thank God that we are making headway despite all odds.

Entrepreneurs usually list staffing as a major challenge and you’re in a field where you are heavily involved with providing staffing; how are you solving this?
I must confess, when I first started, I used to wonder if I was doing the right thing. However, my passion and desire to foster change prevented me from giving up and I’m thankful for that. Dealing with humans isn’t easy because they are dynamic. Our dealings with people over the years have given us a huge advantage so we are able to predict people’s next moves. There is almost nothing new to us and we follow our laid-down standards and procedures and this helps us when dealing with humans generally. We usually tell our clients that the same way they write job descriptions for the corporate world, you should write it for your domestic staff. Employers don’t write it and if the staff doesn’t remind you or knows what to do, you get home and begin to shout. As simple as this may sound, writing down what they should do daily would help the both of you work well together.

When you say structures, what do you mean exactly?
When someone comes into your home, the person is new and doesn’t know how you do things, so writing things out really help. They know what to do at each time of the day before you get back. Structures simply mean things you put in place that help your staff do their work easier. If you want them to do things your way, it’s better you state it clearly. Also, my book, The Domestic Staff Guide To Effective Work helps you achieve this easily.

You’re a published author as you said, what inspired you to write a book?
The book is for employers and employees because we realised that for things to change, we have to do things differently. If you have noticed, most people just employ any random person and feel they’re doing them a favour by giving them food and allowing them live in their homes. We need to change this mindset. The staff is rendering a service and you have to respect them, you’re not doing them a favour. With this book, the employers list out what needs to be done, policies on giving children medication, receiving visitors and so on. It also lists advice for employers on things like childproofing, putting structures in place and so on.

This business requires a high level of trust, how do you gain client’s trust and sustain it?
It’s been amazing so far and one of the things that have helped us is that we don’t compromise on any of our policies. There have been times that, before sending a house-help over to a client, something was discovered during medical testing, we wouldn’t hide that information from the client. We have HMO plans with some hospitals and when we discover that a staff has a medical issue, the staff goes to the hospital and gets treated on us because even if they don’t get hired by that client, we don’t want them to go into the community and infect others. Our clients know we don’t compromise. When we go to verify someone or their guarantors and we aren’t sure we can vouch for them, we don’t continue with the person. We use biometric testing on all our staff.

When a person comes to us, we do an initial assessment/interview and we learn where you are from. They fill a form and submit a C.V and provide their guarantor’s contact and their last employer’s contact details as well and we verify all these. We then run an interview session and send the videos to the clients from where they decide if they want the person to come for a physical interview. If the client is satisfied, we then proceed with deeper checks and medicals and if all is well, the client states when they should resume. While they are at the job, we run periodic checks and hold monthly re-training exercises where they learn new skills.

There have been several horror stories of domestic staff harming their employers or the children, do you think this affects the level of trust reposed in you?
Yes and that is why we don’t compromise on our processes. Humans lie a lot and that is why we strive to verify everything they tell us. When we go to their communities, people have to be able to identify that you have been living there for X number of years, know your parents and your guarantors as well. We also take their BVN numbers and do biometric capturing just to be sure of whom they really are. Yes, we hear such stories but I’m confident it cannot happen here because of the structures we have put in place.

Have you had any bad experience with a staff or client?
We’ve never had any negative experience so far from our domestic staff. We also try to manage our clients as well because we have realised that it’s not only the staff that need re-orientation. Some clients feel because they are wealthy, they cannot be corrected. Some have tried to hit their staff and we told them it was totally unacceptable. It is stated in the contract they signed and if they refuse to listen, we remove the domestic staff. When you are hitting the person and the person hits you back or stabs you, what do you then do? Also, we also plead with them not to owe salaries. If someone has worked for you, please pay them. We’ve never had any case of sexual abuse and I think this is largely due to the structures we’ve put in place.

If you weren’t doing this, what would have been doing?
Running a school. I believe children are the future and if they’re raised in a loving environment and taught properly, the world would be a better place. If children were raised well, we wouldn’t be hearing some of the things we hear and this is still something I might still do.

You wear many hats, how do you make them all work and remain grounded?
I’m not a super woman, I ask for help when I need it and I have a domestic staff. I don’t think working mothers can do without a domestic staff; it’s essential you get help. Women need help doing things and I advise you get it.

What would you say are the major challenges in running this business?
Changing mindset is a major issue especially as most people don’t put proper structures in place. We also want to change the mindset of the domestic staff, who feel they are “ordinary helps.” I always let them know this is untrue as they are rendering service and value and deserved to be paid. I tell them no job is more or less important than the other. Also, we need government’s assistance in regulating this industry. Just as doctors need licenses to practice, domestic staff should have licenses and when they do wrong, their licenses would be seized. I want the government to pay more attention to this industry.

Looking back, do you wish to have done anything differently?
I’m totally satisfied with the progress we have made. This is the first time we are celebrating nannies in such a huge way and everyone is so happy. There are no regrets for me.

What last words do you want to leave with women that have been inspired by you?
Don’t try to do everything yourself. Getting help doesn’t mean you’re weak. Put structures in place for your staff and your children to make them responsible. If you leave everything for your help, you’re not helping your kids in any way. Most times, parents leave domestic work for girls but that shouldn’t be so; this is why men are the way they are today. Put structures in place for them right from when they’re young, you’ll be helping them and yourself. As parents, we are responsible for how the society is turning out and we need to begin to take this more seriously…

By: Tobi Awodipe for Guardian