self development - Women of Rubies

In lifestyle March 5, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Dammy Facos: 5 Ways To Get Rid Of Social Media Addiction

Nowadays, if you’re not on social media, you feel like you’re not truly living in the 21st century. Everything from businesses to personal and professional relationships, social media has a strong presence—and with that, a luring temptation to spend even more time using its features.

So, how do you take back the reins of your life and curb your time on social media (and stop social media addiction)? Here are some steps to get started.

1. Think About Why You’d Like to Be on Social Media

Everything we do in life is about intention: why do you want to do something? What will it bring you? The same goes for social media use. It may be silly to ask this question when thinking about a Facebook or Instagram account, but if you want to truly control your social media (instead of the other way around), asking this question may truly be eye-opening.

Do you want to just keep in touch with friends, or do you want to promote your business? Getting to the crux of why you’re online will help you clearly mark your time on social media effectively and eliminate everything else.

2. Be Meticulous About Who You Follow and what you post and share

Attention is your greatest currency. Read that again.

Everything that you click on or “like” becomes a thread in the tapestry of what comes back to you on social media newsfeeds. You want to create the kind of information spread that works for you, your needs, and your time. So, often, we impulsively follow people who may not be serving our best interests.

Give yourself permission to clean those contacts out every once in a while! It’s okay to disagree with someone. Instead of plummeting into a rabbit hole of social media thread arguments, unfollow anyone who you don’t connect with. It’s much better for your mental health and helps you get rid of social media addiction.

Likewise, be meticulous about what you share. Are you posting misinformation yourself? Just like you are planning on cleaning up your contacts list, someone who follows you may be thinking of doing the same. Make it a priority to share and post things that not only have significance to you but also serve others.

3. Curb the Time You Spend Online

If you have a laundry list of things to get done but have spent the last three hours scrolling your newsfeed, it’s time to close the app or the computer. Set a timer on your phone, if that’s what it takes to solve your social media addiction.

Once you begin the practice of detaching from being online so much, you’ll notice that you get so much time back! This time has always existed, but you were just using it poorly. It’s not that you don’t have enough time—it’s just that you spend too much time scrolling online instead of being productive.

4. Change Your Notification Settings

If your productivity is suffering because you’re constantly distracted by the pings from your notifications, there are ways to turn those notifications off in your settings. Better yet, you can always delete the apps from your phone and devices and resolve to check your social media notifications on your desktop. This way, you can get back to finishing your work without facing the temptation of checking your messages.

5. Not Everything Has to Be Posted and Shared

It often feels like we’re in a perpetual case of “FOMO” when it comes to posting on social media. If the Superbowl came and went and you didn’t post anything at all, will the world continue to spin? Of course.

We don’t have any social obligation to our followers to keep them abreast of every single event that happens in our life. These are choices that we must make consciously and in alignment with our desires.

Think about the last concert (in the pre-COVID world) you went to—did you immediately post bits of the concert to social media or snapped and uploaded a selfie of you and your friends?

These are habitual things that we don’t even think about, which brings me to the final point…

6. It’s Okay to Put Your Phone Down and Enjoy Life

In fact, this one very simple point could truly help you cut that social media addiction! Precious moments of your life are one in a million—like seeing a shooting star or catching the smile of your favorite person. These moments are so fragile, and they never happen the same way twice in your lifetime.

Don’t run towards your phone to capture that moment. Capture it instead with your eyes and with your heart. Let it become a sweet memory. Enjoy the moment you’re so keen on sharing with others and instead, prioritize sharing it with yourself.

Final Thoughts

Social media addiction, when left unchecked, can lead us to depression and lack of self-worth and authenticity. If we “follow the flock” in search of creating a perfect online life, we’re stepping further away from being ourselves. This brings about a slew of consequences, which can snowball over time and lead to worse obstacles in our lives.

When we finally learn how to use social media, to what extent, and with what intention in mind, we can take control over it before it takes control over us.

In Career Gems March 1, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Tammy Rosiji: 5 Steps to Building Unshakeable Confidence

Belief and confidence are like the chicken and the egg, inextricably linked in such a way that it doesn’t really matter which one came first because they are both essential to the other’s existence. When building confidence, we must believe, and to believe we must be confident that what we believe is right.

When you question your beliefs, it directly affects your ability to be confident. However, it is almost certain that you will fail and be disappointed from time to time. Therefore, knowing how to maintain your confidence in the face of those low points is paramount.

In an effort to help you avoid the destabilizing effects of failure and disappointment, here are 5 steps to building confidence that is unshakeable.

1. Create a Strong Personal Belief Statement

A strong belief statement, or affirmation, can be a game changer. Your belief statement should be both a distillation of your beliefs and a statement of encouragement that reminds you of your capabilities. You should feel positive and empowered when you say your belief statement to yourself.

An example of a belief statement is: “I fearlessly succeed, no matter the circumstance, and remain victoriously affluent.” The statement speaks to an ability to overcome life’s failures and disappointments while still accomplishing whatever must be accomplished.

In order to create your belief statement:

Take 10 minutes to write down some challenges you have faced thus far and any themes that keep coming up in your life.
Spend 10 more minutes generating some possible beliefs statements (1 or 2 sentences each) that sum up your ability to overcome those challenges and rise above any negativity presented by the themes while still embracing the positive.
Spend 5-10 minutes saying the statements you have created out loud.
Choose the statement that evokes the most positive emotion and confidence in you when you recite it.

When you have finished, memorize this statement, write it on your bathroom mirror, or carry it in your pocket to reference when you need a pick-me-up. Frequent recitation of your belief statement out loud or internally will start to lay the foundation for long-term confidence.

2. Practice, Practice, Practice

Through repetition we gain facility. The more you practice being confident, the more confident you will be.

There are things that you already know you are good at or are capable of. The data from those past events can be helpful as you intentionally practice being confident, especially when it is used as evidence to support the belief that you can do whatever is required in the moment. ^[2]

Any time you believe you can accomplish something or deliver on an expectation, that is an opportunity to practice confidence. Simply expressing your confidence out loud to yourself or others can have a truly transformative effect.

The act of verbalizing your self-confidence immediately gives a positive belief more weight, and sharing it with others allows them to validate and support you in that belief. When they echo their confidence in you, it will help you in building confidence in yourself.

You have to strengthen your confidence like a muscle, otherwise you don’t stand a chance when life hits you with unexpected disappointment.

3. Surround Yourself With Confident and Competent People

You are a reflection of both the people you spend time with and your environment. Therefore, making sure that you’re spending time with people who exhibit confidence in themselves is important. They are modeling behaviors that are beneficial for your growth.

Watching others exercise their confidence despite life’s challenges will help deepen your belief and confidence in yourself. Their presence will not only serve as reminder of how to be confident in tough times, but it will also remind you that you are not alone on this journey.

4. Keep Track of Your Wins

You can’t argue with evidence. The internal critic can get pretty loud and aggressive when you are dealing with self-doubt, which can snowball into an all-out assault on your beliefs and confidence.

We tend to be very good are remembering what went wrong but not as great as remembering what we did well. Keeping a record creates an archive of valuable data. ^[3]

When you have your wins written down, you can always refer back to them as tangible examples of your capabilities, bravery, and accomplishments. Your inner critic will be hard pressed to negate such compelling examples of your confidence in action. These examples are great prompts to reconnect with your confidence and exercise that muscle.

5. Establish a Foundation of Trust in the Greater Universality of Life

Trust, here, refers to a deeper knowing that allows you to experience a deep faith that leads to confidence.

When you trust that there is something greater in store for you, that everything happens for a reason, or that nothing is random, then you are able to tap into a sense of acceptance when thing go awry.

There is a beauty in your individual spiritual experience that is unique only to you. Many things are unknowable, including the future. However, what you do know is that you are here on this planet with millions of other people, all trying to live their best lives and bring something of value to their community.

Cultivating a deep trust in the universality of life and the things we know to be true is an invaluable anchor for our confidence.

Final Thoughts

Building confidence is important, and for many that process can be daunting. Ultimately, what we believe about ourselves effects our confidence. We have all heard the old adage,

“If you don’t think you can, then you won’t.”

It may seem like an oversimplification, but it’s not. When you believe in yourself deeply, and the belief is rooted in deep trust, there is very little that can shake your confidence. Remember to practice confidence daily, be unafraid to create a belief statement that fires you up, track your wins, surround yourself with confident people, and establish a foundation of trust. Practices like these will give you the confidence you need to accomplish what is possible every day.

In Inspiration February 28, 2023 By Editor

Esther Ijewere: Tell Yourself These 8 Things When You Feel Like Giving Up

I just can’t do it anymore!” , “I am tired of life” We have all said it at least once in our life. But before you throw in the towel, tell yourself these 8 things to give yourself the last ounce of motivation you need to accomplish the impossible:

1. Take a break

Get up, stretch and take a brief walk. Even taking a few minutes away from a stressful situation can help you come back with a fresh mind and determination to tackle your difficult task.

2. You are doing this for a reason

Remember why you started. Maybe you picked up a second job to provide for your family or maybe you volunteered to bake 50 cookies to support your child’s bake sale on Saturday. No matter the task, remind yourself why you need to follow through. Remembering the purpose behind your daunting load can give you the motivation to carry on.

3. Asking for help doesn’t make you a failure

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of humility. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. The people who love you want to help you any way they can.

4. This is a challenge for you

It’s OK to admit something is difficult. You don’t have to stay in denial. Accept your challenges and decide to face them with confidence and optimism.

5. Be grateful

List at least one thing you’re grateful for. It can be tough to come up with things you’re thankful for when you feel like the world is crumbling, but take a moment to focus on the good in your life.

Watch: 5 Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser

6. You can do hard things

What you’re going through is difficult, but you can get through it. Things always seem more challenging when you’re in the thick of it. Remind yourself it’s possible even when it doesn’t feel like it is.

7. Here’s the plan

Break your large project into smaller tasks to make it easier to accomplish. For example, if your goal is to have a clean home, focus on one room at a time. Looking at the project as a whole can be overwhelming and leave you stressed and unmotivated to continue. Tackle one thing at a time, and you’ll be surprised at how much you can accomplish.

8. Release negativity

Give up things that are holding you back – negative thoughts about yourself, frustration, worry or whatever else. You will find it’s easier to focus when bothersome thoughts are pushed out of your mind.

Whatever your challenge may be, you’ve got this. You’ve done hard things before and you can do it again. Assume your Wonder Woman pose and conquer your responsibilities like the super hero you are.

In Inspiration February 28, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

13 Situations You Should Never Say Yes To If You Want to Be Happy

Do you want to be happy? Like really happy, I mean innate happiness that gives you inner peace?

Most people do! But what do you do when that happiness eludes you? If that’s the case, it’s time to take a close look at your life and how you conduct it.

Often, we put ourselves in damaging situations without realizing the harm that they cause. Being aware of these patterns can stop them in their tracks. I can share this conveniently because for some funny reason I always find myself in some of these situations, but I am aware the lot of it could apply to others as well

Here are 13 situations you should never say yes to if you want to be happy.

1. Feel Lonely When You are Alone

While there are things best done by your lonesome, it’s hard to get some positive thinking going when you allow yourself to actually feel lonely while you’re alone. Here are some things that bring happiness if you may be alone or away from friends

-Playing online multiplayer games, solitaire, etc.

-Reflect on your place in life, where you want to be and what it takes to get there.

-Watching movies where booing the characters is encouraged.

2. Comparisons

The human want and need to compare ourselves with others is something as old as time itself, although there is nothing positive to be gained from it. There is no point in chasing after a life we don’t have, all the while ignoring what we do have. Consider instead doing the following things when you feel jealousy:

-Turn off social media for the day.

-Control your content feed. Don’t fill it with things that will cause you jealousy.

-Indulge in the things that make you happy, with no regard for how “good” or “productive” it is.

-quotes to be happy

3. Exes Calling you back cannot make you happy

The relationship had ended for a good reason. Leave it there for the sake of your mental health, and move on towards more positive things instead:

-Do some self-introspection. What lessons about yourself did that relationship teach you? What else can you do better next time?

-Hang out with your friends. Have them support you in this emotionally distressing time, and let them distract you.

-Acknowledge the bad, but also celebrate the good that came from it. Positive thinking doesn’t have to be one done through rose-tinted glasses – it’s essential to recognize and appreciate both the good and the bad in any relationship.

4. Working for jobs you hate

The term ‘burnout’ exists for a reason – if we don’t get that much-needed rest, it starts having dire consequences on our emotional, mental, and physical health.

Medically, this should come as no surprise – just the single, independent factor of working overtime increases the risk of coronary heart disease. So – just what should you do for the sake of your health?

-Consider leaving your job, or switching to a different position within the company if that isn’t possible.

-Take a look at The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor – the principles in it are an excellent place to start.

-Identify what the individual elements about your job that is contributing to your stress are. Perhaps you can deal with them on a case-by-case basis to make it manageable.

5. Sitting for Too Long

Since physical health is related to mental and emotional health, this might be something you’d want to look into. Studies have shown that sitting down for too long can negatively affect your cardiovascular health – no matter how much exercise you do. Sadly, with the whole #Covid19 situation, It is possible to find yourself siting at a spot for a longtime, since there is an enforced stay at home to contain the virus.

So instead of lounging on a sofa or hunching over your keyboard, why not consider the following?

-Invest in a standing desk. A motor-controlled one can raise and lower the height, depending on whether you need to stand or sit for something.

-Watch your favorite shows while walking on a treadmill, If you don’t have one , just walk around while watching the movie, Better health and good entertainment equal a positive net bonus!

6. Drama and Gossip Inhibit Happy Feelings

There’s no point in being nosy about someone else’s circumstances and behavior – especially if it has nothing to do with you. Instead, it’s best to just focus on your own lives, and what is immediately relevant to you. Here are some reasons why:

-Improving your personal experience is something that should take up all of your focus.

-Engaging in drama and gossip about someone else’s lives only serves to add more stress and distraction.

-Do unto others what you would want others to do unto you. If you would hate to be on the receiving end of that kind of unwanted attention, then why would you inflict it on others?

7. Worrying too much

Just what has worry ever brought us aside from fear and anxiety? While some may argue positive thinking in these times is naïve and simple-minded, the fact is that nothing good can be gained from worrying. So – what can you do instead?

-Enjoy every moment as it comes into your life.

-Be productive, make something tangible with your hands as some kind of progress.

-Narrow your focus towards things you can directly handle and have control over.

8. Idleness

It’s so easy to try squeezing in one more episode of your favorite Netflix show before getting started on work or hitting that snooze alarm for another five more minutes. This all inevitably ends up in stress and frustration when we realize too late that we’re now out of time.

-Chip away at it. If you can’t get started properly, just pen down some notes first.

-Happy people do not procrastinate. Start when you should.

-Talk to someone about it. Sometimes you just need someone to organize it for you.

9. Settling

At some point, it can be incredibly easy to just settle for “good enough.” This can apply to just about anything – career, friendships, and relationships. It’s one thing to be comfortable, but it’s another to settle for complacency and bare minimum. If you find yourself getting bored, consider the following points:

-Sign the both of you up for some sort of adventurous trip, or a simple pottery class.

-Talk to your friend. Maybe there’s something between you both that’s been making it hard for you both to bond closer.

-Aim for a better job or career – there’s no point in staying in a poor job.

10. Hurrying

It’s tempting to rush forward and to prove to yourself that you’re capable of keeping up with the pack. This, however, is detrimental to your happiness. Here are a few ways to steal back a few more precious minutes:

-Prioritize things that are important first.

-Manage your time efficiently.

-Don’t pressure yourself – you don’t need to rush.

-Understand that you can’t do everything you want in one go, and that’s okay.

11. Spending Time with Toxic People

It only makes sense that surrounding ourselves with toxic, negative people will only serve to worsen our moods and mental states. Just how can you improve yourself and find a better life’s purpose if you’re continually being sabotaged at every corner?

The best way to be happy is to avoid such a scenario. Here are some tips:

-Avoid people who belittle you. It’s hard to keep a positive outlook when they’re always talking down your goals and dreams.

-Look out for people who bring joy and happiness into your life and drop anyone who doesn’t.

-Cut out people who don’t know the difference between crushing you and giving you constructive criticism.

12. Blame

Nobody likes to be in the wrong. It’s a horrible feeling and one that we naturally try to avoid. This often means that our first reaction to trouble is to blame someone else, so we don’t have to deal with the consequences.

In reality, this actually can make things worse. Yes, it’s unpleasant, but there are benefits to be gained from taking responsibility for your actions:

-Taking responsibility also means taking control of the situation and yourself.

-You create an opportunity for you to learn from the problem.

-You forge your sense of self and your capabilities through the process of resolving the issue.

-You’ll learn to develop a sense of courage, and as you overcome the problem.

13. Learning to say NO

Many of us have been raised with this mindset that unless there is something that makes fulfilling the request impossible, we should always say ‘yes’ to it. In our minds, to refuse would be to hurt somehow or disappoint them.

In reality, learning how to say no is an important skill. Here are some reasons why:

-You establish healthy emotional boundaries. This isn’t just good for you – it’s also great for others, as they know where your clear boundaries lie.

-You give yourself time to do things you want to do. You don’t need an excuse to reserve your limited time and energy for things and people that are important to you.

-You’ll learn how to stand up for yourself.

My final thoughts

Being happy can be difficult. The journey to happiness is often fraught with other more negative emotions. But by choosing the situations you allow yourself to be a part of, you can move more quickly along the rocky road that leads to that happiness.

Remember it is okay to take this one step at a time, if perhaps you are guilty of all.

– Esther Ijewere™©

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In lifestyle February 27, 2023 By Women of Rubies

7 Causes Of Irregular Menstruation Every Woman Should Know

Irregular menstruation could occur If you’re eating a diet that’s rich in unhealthy carbs or if you’ve gained weight. Your body will produce varying levels of certain hormones, shifting when you ovulate.

It is a well-known fact that ladies experience irregular period or abnormal flow at certain points in time. As a matter of fact, studies have shown that about 30 percent of women experience irregular periods.

Be that as it may, irregular periods are not something to worry about since they are not a sign of danger healthwise. But then, it is important to understand the reasons they happen and what the body is trying to say.

A woman will, on average, get her period for three to seven days once a month (every 30 days or so). After menstruating for several years, women tend to settle into a cycle where some women can even predict down to the hour when their periods will come.

However, a menstrual cycle would be considered irregular if there should be distortions in the normal twenty-eight days cycle pattern such that menstrual bleeding occurs more frequently than every twenty-one days or lasts longer than eight days.

1. Diet

Another common reason for a late or missing period is the food you eat and, more specifically, the weight you’re carrying.

If you’re eating a diet that’s rich in unhealthy carbs or if you’ve gained weight, your body will produce varying levels of certain hormones, shifting when you ovulate. The same goes for women as they lose weight.

2. Infections

Any infection ranging from std’s, STI’s, yeast infection, as well as illnesses, such as thyroid disorders, can cause irregular periods if blood levels of the thyroid hormone go too low or too high.

3. Stress

Stress is the most common cause of irregular periods. Cortisol, the stress hormone, has a direct impact on how much the two sex hormones: estrogen and progesterone are produced by the body.

If you have too much cortisol in your bloodstream, there is the tendency for the time and flow of your monthly cycle to change.

4. Polycystic ovary syndrome

Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a medical condition that causes tiny cysts to form on ovaries which interfere with regular ovulation.

Women experiencing (PCOS) have almost always been recorded to deal with such anomaly in their menstrual cycles.

5. Over-exercising

Over-exercising like for instance, burning too much energy in the gym affects menstrual flow, if you burn too much energy during exercise there will be nothing left for the body to use at that time of the month.

6. Birth control pills

It takes months for the body to get used to hormones birth control pills release and this affects menstrual flow. As a matter of fact, birth control pills can actually make your periods lighter, or cause you to miss periods or have less or more frequent periods or even no periods at all.

7. Alcohol

Excessive intake of Alcohol can cause damages to the liver as well as affecting period- normalizing hormones. The liver helps regulate a woman’s menstrual cycle by metabolizing estrogen and progesterone where the liver is overworked or damage this affects the woman’s cycle.

In conclusion, other factors like early onset of menopause, cysts, and pregnancy could possibly disrupt the monthly flow.

However, it is advisable to seek medical help if you suspect that irregular flow could be as a result of other factors.

In Inspiration February 24, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Meet Addie Elabor, Philly-based Nigerian Designer Who Built A Million-Dollar Fashion Business

Nigerian designer Addie Elabor is a woman cut from the self-made cloth. She launched her Philadelphia-based ready-to-wear African fashion brand D’IYANU in 2014 and has grown it into a million-dollar business.

The company, which focuses on creating culturally conscious-pieced with bold prints, features handmade and ethically sourced products from West African and the United States. Addie shares the strategic moves she made to launch her idea, build a team, and continue to grow an e-commerce business, even in troubling climates.

When did you start your brand and how did you get the idea for it? What inspired you to turn it into a business?

Addie: I was inspired to start D’IYANU at the beginning of 2013 when I realized that there was a void in the fashion world for ready-to-wear African inspired pieces that were easily accessible to people like me. There wasn’t a leading brand that allowed you to celebrate your culture in a modernized way. I asked myself “why not me?”. I immediately had this vision of developing a brand that would become the African print version of Zara or H&M. I didn’t have a fashion background, but the vision was so compelling that I had to make it happen.

At the time I was dissatisfied with my career and relished the opportunity to launch my own business with the goal of building a legacy in mind. D’IYANU was launched in January of 2014 with six women’s styles and has grown exponentially ever since.

What was the first investment you made into D’IYANU to get it off the ground? Why?

Addie: D’IYANU was launched with a $15,000 investment which came from my savings and a credit card loan. The bulk of the initial investment went into producing 50 units each of my first 6 pieces produced in Philadelphia which included the pattern and sample making, fabric, and production of the collection.

Tell us how you were able to scale D’IYANU to a million-dollar business? How long did it take you from the time you started to hit the million-dollar mark?

Addie: The beginning of 2014 was a struggle since I was still working full-time and running the business on the side. I decided to quit my full-time job in May of 2014 to focus full-time on D’IYANU. I knew I needed to invest all my time and attention in order to get the brand off the ground. With the goal of gaining more customers, I would set up at various festivals and even managed to get some products into two boutiques in Philadelphia, but I wasn’t really getting much traction.

I knew that the best place to find customers was online. At the end of September of 2014, I took a course on creating Facebook ads. That course was quite an investment, but it transformed my business practically overnight. With the help of Facebook ads and email marketing, we were able to hit $1 million in sales by the middle of 2016 which took 2.5 years from the launch date.

What makes D’IYANU unique from your competitors or other “African clothing” shops online?

Addie: D’IYANU is unique from other African clothing brands because we are the most innovative and offer the widest range of products for Men, Women and Kids. With the goal of being a lifestyle brand, we offer products that can be incorporated into our customers’ everyday life. Our product offerings include everything from active wear to formal, and office attire. Our innovative spirit is one of our core values that pushes us to explore other types of fabrics and materials so that our items are more comfortable and functional for our customers.

For instance, we use our unique African print stretch woven fabric to make dresses, skirts, pants, jumpsuits, and tops for women so that they’re extremely comfortable and accommodate curves and movement. The fabric looks like the traditional Ankara, but it has amazing stretch and softness.

No other African inspired brand is using this type of fabric. We also print African print on french terry to make our Men’s polo shirts, jogger and hoodie sets. Recently, we launched an iconic Jean Jacket with Kente inspired print for our pre-fall collection and we will be launching more denim and print products in the near future. We’re also looking forward to our knitwear pieces that will be featured in our Fall and Winter collections.

Were you the only person working on your business when you started? When did you realize you needed to hire or build a team in order to be successful?

Addie: I was the only person working on my business up until April of 2015 when I hired my first full-time assistant. I had been working out of my studio apartment up until March 2015 when I moved my operations into an official office space. I realized that my business was growing quickly and I needed the assistance sooner rather than later.

What has been your biggest challenge with growing your business?

Addie: My biggest challenge has been finding quality employees who are also a good cultural fit to fill various roles at D’IYANU. Two additional challenges have been learning to better manage people to bring out the best in them and finding senior employees they can lean on who are operating at a higher level and can provide guidance into their work.

If you knew now what you knew then, what is one thing you would have done differently to accelerate the growth of your business?

Addie: I would have hired a marketing team sooner in order to scale faster. I was doing way too much in the beginning and naturally I couldn’t handle all of our marketing needs.

What is your advice for someone who wants to start an e-commerce business?

Addie: My advice would be to make sure that the product you’re selling has a unique selling point and tells a story that will resonate with a sizable audience. Set aside a marketing budget and make sure to leverage social media marketing early. Lastly, start building your email and SMS list pre-launch so that you already have customers on launch day and continue to grow that list post-launch, since email and SMS marketing offers the biggest return on marketing spend.

Source: Bauce Mag

In Inspiration February 20, 2023 By Esther Ijewere

Esther Ijewere: Dear Single Parents, Healing Is Your Responsibility

Dear single parents,

I understand the pain of doing it alone with no support system. I know it hurts when you think about the sacrifices, and you feel life is not fair.

Believe me, I also have those moments. When I say I understand, I truly mean it.

However, you must understand that while trauma isn’t your fault, healing is your responsibility.

You can’t heal from pain If you continuously visit old wounds or give life to topics that put you in a “dramatic” position where you entertain the public with your private matters. You will end up looking like the problem you are trying to solve.

One thing I have done to protect my energy and peace since I became a single parent is to stay away from things, people, and places that trigger any old wound I’m trying to heal from

The Power of Healing

Healing is an art.

It takes time, it takes practice, discipline, and self-love.

I also learned that healing is in phases, and the more inner work you do, the more things came to the surface.

Instead of explaining myself to folks who have not walked a mile in my shoes, I focused on my healing journey, prayer, and affirmations.

Also Read: Before You Judge Another Single Mom

Healing affirmations for tra.u.ma is one of the tips I shared in my soon-to-be-released self-help book. If you would like to have a copy, kindly click here to join the waitlist. I also shared some techniques I used over the years to stay grounded and focused, even when I was gaslighted.

It’s not easy really, but once you learn to forgive yourself, you have the power to control your emotions and your impulse.

Read Also: 5 Dating Tips for Single Moms

You will know who or what deserves a response or reaction and avoid drama.

I also realized that what some saw as my inadequacies ( single parent status), others appreciated as my strength. I focused on the latter.

Watch: 5 Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser

The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is how to silence the mind and be discerning.

Sending love, light, and good vibes to single parents who are trying to heal from pain.

Remember, healing is your responsibility.

signed,

A single mom doing it alone.

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In Rubygirls February 18, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Supportifly Celebrate Valentine With Exercise Book Donation

Supportifly celebrate valentine with its “School is not scam” exercise book donation project. The initiative which kicked off last year is aimed at fighting miseducation, and helping to reverse the trend that education isn’t profitable.

For the special valentine exercise book donation, the Supportifly team visited Ijokodo High School and Cheshire High School, and sensitized the students on the importance of staying in school, getting good grades and making their parents proud.

Founded by Philanthropist, Bolarinwa Kashif, who believes in the power of education and committed to using his platform and resources to create change in the education sector in Nigeria.

Bolarinwa Kashif-Mr. Fly — Bolarinwa Kashif, CEO- Fly Multi Company

Asides the school project, Bolarinwa who is also known as Mr. Fly, create jobs, and gives back to the society by supporting vulnerable persons, empowering youths and children of low-income homes.

Speaking on the reason why his team decided to give back, the astute business man had this to say;

I am committed to restoring hope, educational value and create a better Nigeria. I want these children to know that education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.

The philanthropist has been recognized by several organizations across Nigeria for his contribution to the society.

His Fly Fitness gym, which is another arm of his business has become a safe heaven for pregnant women, where they are assisted with free stressless delivery through healthy exercise, the gym boasts of world-class equipment, and it is one of the most visited in the ancient city of Ibadan.

Supportifly Book donation — Supportifly Team member with the students

The Supportifly team will be visiting more schools through out the year, and using it’s social media platforms to financially support the downtrodden, vulnerable and helpless who are in dire need.

The Supportifly team led by Bolarinwa Kashif O and Bolarinwa Haishah O, supported by their amazing team,; Olasunkanmi Olayinka Habeeb, Yusuf Balkis Oluwakemi; Samuel Lance Momodu, Olokede Oluwatobi Samuel, Jimoh Awawu Folake, Aluko Shahudah Folashade and Rufai Ojo Ibrahim.

See more photos from the outreach below;

In Inspiration February 7, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Ogechi Adili Addresses Struggles And Vices Prevalent In The African Society In New Book

Ogechi Adili is a creative writer, content creator, educator and impact strategist who loves using writing as an expression. She is the author of the fast selling book; Lady Justice Has Been Raped, a novel that reflects the vices of unforgiveness and injustice prevalent in a typical African society via the lens of a young Nigerian Beauty Olaedo.

This book has connected Adili with people from different parts of the world, including Nigeria, Canada, India, Namibia, etc. It has also given her audience with dignitaries such as the Chief Justice of Edo State (Rtd), the president of the Association of Microfinance Banks in Nigeria – Dr. Joshua Ukutu.

She is also the author of the book: Fiction Writerz Juice; a guide for writers and all who intend to make their writing juice flow.

She has served as the Chief Editor of the UNIBEN Watchman Campus Magazine, a magazine that contains exciting and life-changing articles and stories. It also captures the undergraduate experiences and aims to model youths to change negative narratives and draw them to their Creator.

Her short story, The World As a Very Small Ball, was selected and featured in the Anthology of Nigerian Authors (ANA).

Ogechi Adili is passionate about making an impact. Hence, as a Tourism Community Development Service President, she undertook projects with her team to help young people and sensitise the girl child on the need to become a pillar of the society.

She has volunteered at several organisations where she received certificates of recognition.

In this interview with Women of Rubies, she shares the inspiration behind her new book; “Lady Justice Has Been Raped” , and the importance of challenging gender stereotype

Who are you?

My name is Ogechi Adili and I am a creative writer, content creator, educator and an impact strategist.

Why did you author this book?

Writing is a means of expression to me, as I get to share my view on matters. Also, it’s a tool through which I travel into minds to correct, teach, and influence thoughts, behaviours and lifestyle. Lady Justice Has Been Raped is more than a novel; it is a weapon of change and impact.

I wrote this book to address the ills and vices prevalent in the African society. Rather than join the multitude to wail, bemoan and complain about the decadence in our society, I decided to capture these moral depravities and corrupt practices in writing, thereby living up to my slogan: ‘Do not just complain about it, do something’.

I wrote this book for legacy.

I wrote this book to be another different girl child who defiantly refuses to allow gender stereotype prevalent in a typical African society truncate her ambitions and dreams.

Where can we get the book?

You can reach me via my social media handles – Ogechi Adili (Facebook), Ogechi Adili (LinkedIn), WhatsApp (08100592218) or Reach out to the publishing firm ‘Worital Publishers’

What process went into writing the book?

The book started first as short story episodes on my Facebook wall, and it started to get noticed and readers kept demanding for more episodes, I just knew it would be more.

Writing this book wasn’t just a walk through the park; there were days I felt I was not good enough but I was determined and committed to finishing what I knew would impact a lot of lives. Look where we are now.

Tell us more about the content of the book? And where it was published

This book is a fictional work of art. It is written in an unusual style, employing the use of present tense and the famous ‘Naija pidgin’ expressions (not to worry; a glossary has been attached). It’s a story of pain, vices, struggles, love and hope. You can’t read this book and remain the same. There is always something to learn.

Embedded in the book are circumstances of several sectors in Nigeria I would love to change. I may not have the physical power to do that, but I have the vocabulary and literary prowess to cause rainfall in summer. After all writers in the past caused revolutions through their works.

Are you a first time author? Otherwise, how did your other books fare?

I have written other books which are only available as Ebooks but this is my first paperback and my debut novel. Cold Rush which is a tour guide on Obudu Mountain Resort and Fiction Writerz B̶l̶o̶c̶k̶ Juice are EBooks and they are doing just fine.

What next now that the book is written?

It is a step towards the big ideas in my head. Expect more. I hope to write more life changing books. I dream to be in rooms I only read in books; I hope to be a woman young minds will look up to and believe in their hearts that they could be more; I hope to own a publishing firm so as to improve reading and writing culture in Africa.

Tell us a story of your upbringing. One that would wow us and that connects with what you do now.

Growing up, I have always loved reading stories and writing my own stories in jotters. Interestingly, I would save up for weeks just to buy story books.

I also had dreams of becoming a lawyer. Back in the days, I would go to a family friend’s cyber cafe to design funny logos for my chamber, but sadly I didn’t get a chance to study Law despite hitting high scores. Further, growing up I learnt females from my community couldn’t own lands and girl children are not regarded highly.

I began to ask questions and through books I met great women doing wonders like Chimamanda Adichie, Oprah Winfrey, Okonjo Iweala etc. My father would always say; “If Adichie and Okonjo Iweala could, you can.’ That was how my dreams began to grow.

I didn’t get to study Law, but when I realized I could still achieve all I envisioned to change and achieve through writing, I embraced it.

Who’s your mentor or favourite author?

My favorite author is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. However, there are other recent writers I have come to love too.

What one national matter would you want to contribute on? (Please do contribute in let’s get your opinion).

The girl child can be more. Women are not trophies to be won by men and gender should have nothing to do with greatness and success. Their voices should be heard for good and every woman should maximize her potentials.

What trending topic would you like to jump in? (Please do jump in, let’s get your opinion).

I would love to talk about what it takes to have a better Nigeria. For me, I feel it begins with us. If everyone becomes instrumental to change in the little corner where they find themselves, only then is a better Nigeria possible.

Sell yourself

I nurture ideas and birth them into books. I will help sharpen your writing skills and gift you the pen of a ready writer. I thrive on opportunities to make impact through my writing.

Sell your book

Lady Justice Has Been Raped is a novel that captures themes such as injustice, struggles, pain, hope, and love prevalent in a typical African society through the lens of a young African beauty ‘Olaedo’

It is so African that it is written in a unique style.

Olaedo just like every young person out there has a lot of challenges that seem to drown her. However life brings her way agents of love and light. Will she embrace this newness or will she chose to dine with the dark shadows of her life? Find out in Lady Justice Has Been Raped.

How did you get to know Worital, your experience with Worital and what makes Worital different.

I have been following Worital for about a year since after seeing the quality work done on Your Book Will Sell by Emeka Nobis and Brick by Brick by Brenda Unu. I visited their website and the price list almost got me discouraged as a young author but I just knew it had to be Worital.

I didn’t want to be just another published author; I wanted to be the golden egg amidst the normal.

I had some challenges that almost got me discouraged, but the team especially Fola and Book-chef walked me through the process.

What makes Worital different is the quality work they do. Their exterior is top notch – your eyes will get to feed before eating the actual content.

What makes you a woman of Rubies?

To many people, rubies are gem stones representing love, passion, energy and power. They are precious, rare and of great value. It is linked with power, wealth and royalty. In same way, I am a woman with passion, vision, value and purpose.

This is just the beginning for me.

In lifestyle February 7, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Don’t Forget These 3 Tips For Your Next Job Hunt

Looking (and successfully applying) for new jobs is always going to be difficult – it does not matter if you are a recent graduate looking to take the first steps in your career, or an experienced professional seeking a change. The job market becomes increasingly more competitive each year, with numerous qualified people applying for the same job. Therefore, it is important that you take on any and all advice offered to you when searching for a job – whether they offer advice on cover letters or what to wear to an interview

Here are some top tips to help you through the process!

1. Alter your resume

Every job will have a different job specification, where they will list the skills and abilities required to undertake the role. It is important that you read this specification carefully and then alter your CV to carefully match their requirements. For example, if you have worked in a shop, be sure to note down you have cash handling experience if it is on the job spec, as opposed to assuming the employer will be aware of this already. This makes the process of looking over your CV much easier for the employer, who will be able to quickly determine whether or not you are suitable for the role.

You don’t have to massively change your CV each time. Set up a base CV that contains your main skills, work experience, and any academic qualifications and simply alter it a little each time.

2. Search smartly

Though you may feel in desperate need of work, you must search for jobs that you are trained for or have a specific interest in. It is important that you enjoy your work – you want it to be something you look forward to and can really invest yourself in order to get the most out of it. Once you know what industry you want to work within, find the best ways to apply for jobs in that industry. For example, if you are looking for business administration work, you may benefit from applying on LinkedIn or Indeed.

However, if you are looking for work within a more niche field, such as audio visual jobs, then you need to use job application portals that are more industry-specific and focused, such as Lasso. When registered with Lasso, you can browse through hundreds of jobs within the audio visual field, selecting those that are a perfect match for your skills. Even better, you don’t have to wait for invoices and can get paid weekly.

3. Do your research

When applying for a new job at a company, it is important that you learn as much as you can about that company. Check out their website and social media pages, research any news articles written about them, browse through their LinkedIn. Try to gain a deep understanding of not only the services they offer but their attitudes to work and their ethos. This will help you decide whether you want to work for them, but can also be used to help you stand out from the crowd in an interview.

Source: Baucemag.com