The phrase “I have nothing to wear” is common enough, but wedding season makes people shout it from the rooftops. If you’re in your twenties, you may have at least one ceremony per weekend . Some will be casual, others will be semi-formal, and dress codes are always a possibility.
What are the rules of wedding guest attire?
Here are top do’s and don’ts when considering what to wear.
1. DO consider dress code.
Is this event a black tie, semi-formal, casual, or even a costume party? What the bride wants should always be considered before making any fashion decision.
2. DO consider the location.
The attire you wear to a beach will (obviously) be much different than the outfit you rock at a ritzy hotel. Consult the dress code provided, but use common sense when it’s time to decide between flip flops, flats and heels.
3. DON’T forget about colour.
Make sure you know the couple’s color selection. The invitation should give you some insight, but it doesn’t hurt to ask a member of the wedding party. You don’t want to be mistaken for a bridesmaid or groomsman, right?
4. DO wear layers.
Layers are a necessity. Yes, AC can be a life saver, but it can also be a woman’s worst nightmare. Bring a cute, cropped jacket or cardigan no matter what. An outdoor party can quickly turn chilly as it reaches evening hours. Just make sure the outfit you wear is still long enough for bare legs!
5. DO consider time of day.
This may seem obvious, but so many ladies forget that some evenings can still be a bit chilly. Layers are necessary, but if the event is an evening affair, consider a maxi dress or long-sleeved cocktail look.
6. DON’T wear white.
This isn’t the first time you’ve heard this, but I can’t leave it out. White is an obvious faux pas, but be careful with champagne, cream, and even light shades of gold and tan. Brides are going for colored wedding dresses these days, so an awkward match can happen when you least expect it.
7. DON’T wear black.
Wearing black is perfectly acceptable—when the venue calls for it. Try to keep a little black dress in the closet for a backyard, beach, or brunch party. In the end, think twice before wearing black, but never rule it out.
8. DON’T wear jeans.
This rule should be obvious, but some guests still think it’s acceptable at certain venues. I’m going to make it very clear for everyone: Jeans are never allowed—no excuses. Unless specifically told by the bride and groom that they’re having jean and t-shirt nuptials, trade in your Levi’s for a pair of khakis or slacks.
9. DON’T go bold.
Sequins, animal prints, and other over-the-top designs are not O.K. The focus should always be on the bride, not your outfit.
10. DO cover yourself up.
Summer calls for showing a little skin, but don’t go over the top. Marriage ceremonies are family affairs, so keep it classy and stay covered.
11. DO wear comfortable shoes.
If you’re like me and love to dance freely, without care, comfortable shoes are a must-have. Flats or wedges are always good options. Feel free to wear heels, but think about packing flats or sandals for later.
12. DO ask friends what they’re wearing.
If you’re stuck, there’s nothing better than getting advice from a fellow attendee. That way you have each other to lean on if you make a fashion faux pas.
YOU BUY YOUR WEDDING DRESS BEFORE CHOOSING THE VENUE.
Before booking your wedding dress and second dress appointments, make sure you know the type of wedding you’re planning and where.
Yes, you can wear whatever you want, but if you purchase a low-key gown and you end up booking a large and classy venue, you may wish you went bigger and bolder, with the venue in mind.
YOU ANNOUNCE YOUR ENGAGEMENT TOO SOON.
Remember to share the big news with your inner circle before updating your status on social media.
Tell your family and closest friends first, preferably in person, or by phone or Skype (so they see the ring!) if they’re long-distance. Then change your Facebook status.
And after the outpouring of congratulations, be sure to post a quick thank you to the well-wishers.
YOU RULE OUT A WEDDING PLANNER ALTOGETHER.
The most stressful planning period? The week before the big day. That’s when handfuls of unforeseen details arise, leaving some brides sorting out spreadsheets instead of connecting with friends and family.
Avoid this by hiring a professional wedding planner or even an event coordinator especially if you’re on a tight budget.
They will handle last-minute vendor meetings and put out fires so you don’t have to. If budget is a concern, some planners even offer hourly services.
YOU FALL VICTIM TO CRASH DIETING.
No bride should feel as if they have to change themselves ahead of their wedding. But if you do wish to adopt healthier habits, instead of drastically reducing calories or abstaining from whole food groups a month before your wedding date, ease into it.
Try adopting a healthier eating plan or fitness regimen six months before the big day.
Focus on gaining confidence, stress-relieving practices, and healthy habits that will follow you way past your walk down the aisle.
YOU DON’T FEED YOUR VENDORS.
The last thing you want on your wedding day is a low-energy DJ or an exhausted photographer.
So plan on feeding any hired hands who will be working during the reception. This includes your wedding planner, photographer, videographer, and DJ or band, plus their assistants (but not your florist or the ceremony musicians). Work their meals into your budget and consider it part of their fee. (Many vendors stipulate in the contract that the couple is to provide a meal.)
YOU FORGET TO HAVE FUN!
Don’t forget the reason you’re doing all of this, and keep things in perspective. It’s all about starting your new life together, so make sure to set up the right foundation for a joyous future. Remember, it’s just one day in the journey.
CHIKA IBEABUCHI popularly known is the Founder/Creative Director of Gemini24 Events, @weddingsplash (An online bridal/event store) @Cedamicuspicykilishi (A healthy snack brand popularly known as Kilishi)
She is also an event management coach and she has coached and mentored not less than 100 persons online and offline.
She is also an event management consultant, wedding planner, event manager: she has assisted numerous brides to be to make their wedding a reality.
She will be sharing some tips and nuggets that have helped her client make the best decision as regards their wedding and also saved them time, money and contributed to unforgettable memories.
So feel free to go ahead with your wedding plans, you should also aim to have a stress free planning process by hiring a professional to guide you so that you can sit back, relax and be taken care of.
Need more information? I am here to give you more tips on how to get it right, drop a message in the comment section.
A weird drama ensued at what was supposed to be a secret wedding between a married man and his probably ignorant bride as the former’s wife stormed the venue with her children and disrupted the ceremony.
An interesting video shows her invading the church auditorium unexpectedly with a baby strapped on her back, at the time the bride and the supposed groom were standing before the altar and a huge crowd of attendees to receive the pastor’s blessing.
According to the woman, the supposed groom was her husband with whom she had children. She went on to allege that the man even spent the last night with her and the children, so she was surprised to see him tying the knot with another woman the next morning.
She added that she and her husband didn’t have any issues and they had not separated either, so she was taken aback to have learned and confirmed it for herself that he was getting married to another woman.
Favour Osiri Wisdom is an encourager,
a certified marriage and relationship mentor with The Institute of Marriage and
Family Affairs USA. A certified negotiation and conflict analysis expert with
(USIP). United States Institute for Peace. She is the coordinator of the
foremost marriage academy in the south south region of Nigeria;The Wisdom
Driven Marriage Academy in the city of Port Harcourt which equips both married
and intending marriage couples to acquire skills to build the marriage of their
Favour is passionate about women
and girls. Having suffered so much under intense poverty growing up as the
first child amongst seven children. She founded the Model Woman Foundation in
2016 where she mentors weekly organizing online seminars. She and her Pastor husband
are presenters of a weekly relationship show called “For better for
us” on Facebook . She recently authored two books tilted How Not to Marry
an I.D.I.O.T and Before You Marry.
Favour believes her background cannot keep her back on the ground and she is determined to help restore more homes. She shares her story in this inspiring and educative interview.
My childhood is full of
interesting events that have shaped me into the woman I am today. I didn’t have
luxury growing up so being the first child amongst 7 children; my mind was
constantly processing on what next to do to make money. I learnt how to braid hair at age 10 and
every Christmas season I made money from braiding hair I wanted to go to school at all cost because
at that time I was going to be the first graduate in my compound ( both in my
maternal and paternal home) .The poverty around me was just too much, I sold
oranges during its season, I was involved in the “bole” business (roasted fish
and plantain) which I inherited from my mother. I ran a bukka joint in a
mechanic garage at age 19. In 1998 I went to NYSC orientation camp in the city
where I lived at that time to do food business. When I saw the corp members
come to buy food from my stand, I remember weeping one day because I wanted to
be like them. I thank God I later saved up money from my mechanic garage food
business to buy forms into the Polytechnic and went on to become the first
graduate in my family (maternal and paternal) with many other degrees. All of these experiences are instrumental to
what I do now which is to encourage and stir women around me to rise up
Inspiration behind The Wisdom Driven Marriage Academy and The Model woman foundation
We relocated to Portharcourt in
2013 to start a church ministry and much later started a weekly show on radio
called “Family Matters” Nigeria Info PH 92.3 every Monday 2pm to 3pm
The vision for the radio show was
to help marriages and those intending to marry with the wisdom that has helped
us because at a point in our marriage, we went through turbulent times. We
thought the devil had relocated to our home but as we researched more we found
out it wasn’t the devil; it was deep ignorance of the skills to do marriage
that we lacked. So as we shared these tips on radio, the counseling issues in
our office weekly increased. We went into more research, got professional
training then we decided to set up the marriage academy to proactively address
marital issues. This is because there are issues that 30 mins counseling cannot
handle, it will require an entire program to unlearn, learn, re-learn. The
wisdom driven marriage academy kicked off in 2016 and has brought illumination
to a lot of singles and married couples. The testimonies are amazing.
The Modelwoman foundation is my
gift to womanhood. It was founded in 2016. I am an encourager so I never fail
to shamelessly use myself as an example of a woman who dare to excel against
all odds I could speak to someone for hours with the intent to make sure they
move to another level. I was doing this with women around me and I saw them
began to soar and felt I could reach more women globally using technology so in
2016, we started on whatsapp with few women and today we are grateful. We now
hold an online conference tagged “The Complete woman Conference and a live
conference tagged “Ignite”
Not to Marry an I.D.I.O.T & Before You Marry
How not to marry an I.D.I.O.T
came as a result of my personal experience of manifesting these traits in the
past and my interaction with intending couples and married couples alike. I
have seen people marry with all the red flags telling them not to and the
marriage breaks after few months. Some people also think marriage does not
require skills but it does seriously. In fact it is the most skilled intensive
venture I know because you are dealing with the emotions and destiny of people.
I.D.I.O.T is an acronym for traits which are red flags telling you not to
continue with the relationship. People with Idiotic attitude are not ready to
learn, they want to do marriage the way they like. A lot of marriages are going
through pain because of these Idiotic attitudes. The beautiful thing about the
book is that it proffers solution on how to overcome these traits as a single
or married person and gives you a step by step approach to end a forever
Before You Marry is a compilation
of 50 things (There might be more) to consider before you marry. The book is to
help intending couples with some of the relevant questions and discussions they
need to have before they walk the aisle we live in the age where people see
marriage as the next thing to check on their list without asking relevant
questions. Questions reveal a lot of things. An example is having a discussion
on the possibility of adoption where there is delay in child bearing. These
questions and discussions brings clarity in the marriage.
of Model Woman
The modelwoman foundation has been a blessing
to a lot of women. Most of these women I have never met because 90% of our
engagement is online. The vision of the foundation is to build excellent legacies
so we deployed the strategy of pray and learn. Weekly we pray and organize
seminar sessions addressing different issues. We have testimonies of over 60
women who have started new businesses in the group, women who had no idea on
what business to start when they joined us, we have marriages restored through
the seminars in the group, we have women discovering their purpose and pursuing
them. We have women who have been spiritually revived, the sessions on
parenting was life transforming for the women. we have single mums, divorcees
in our midst whose self esteem has been restored and are doing so well. We have
ladies who were so deep into being side chic to married men end the
relationships and turned a new leaf, we have married women involved in illicit
relationships end the relationships and became purpose driven. We also have
weekly diverse testimonies of changed lives in the the foundation. We have a
project called ‘Value driven Life Project for secondary schools. The project is
to impact the students with soft skills to make informed decisions about their
lives and to make them aware they are valuable.
Recently we had an amazing outing on Valentine’s Day titled SEX IS NOT
LOVE. We had students who planned to break their virginity as a mark of love come
to us willingly seeking for help which we have followed up..
The wsidom driven marriage has
impacted a lot of singles and married couples. The “Save Your marriage program”
which is an intensive 8weeks program for deeply troubled marriages have revived
and saved marriages on the verge of divorce.
We have seen singles quit relationships because they suddenlyfound out
that even though the relationship looks good to them, it may not be good to
I work with women mostly, the challenge has been the limiting mindset where some of them believe they cant get to certain heights because of their gender. Another challenge is some people think getting married is the next thing to be checked on their list without adequately preparing for marriage. They prepare for wedding and not marriage. Just like flying a plaane requires skills, marriage, even relationship in the work place requires skills else the marriaage will crash like a plane manned by an ignorant person. Some couples are excited and working hard ontheir marriage, it is not that they have not had issues, they were only equipped with tools to handle even challenging seasons in their marriage.
Other project and activities
Because I have a passion for women, I also want them to pass the same passion to their daughters so we have the Mum and Daughter Ball (MDB) which is aimed at creating that intentional bonding relationship. The maiden edition will hold this year. I also have a project for single mums and single dads which will come up before the end of this year. The big one is the Wisdom driven marriage retreat and resorts. A place for couples to unwind and bond.
The testimonies of changed lives. One incident is a single lady who has been in a relationship with a married man for many years and depended on him for financial assistance. She told me she had always wanted to end the relationship but couldn’t because of the financial assistance she was getting. Through the sessions on the modelwoman platform, she was able to break free and has an amazing life today working and making a living. So my greatest rewards are women who have found themselves and are unapologetically living their best lives.
the cause of broken marriages lately
Ignorance is a big issue. I am a firm believer that whatever you are not skilled in, you will kill and if you keep doing it for a long time, it can kill you.. People go to different schools to acquire knowledge in different fields and that’s why they do well. Some even specialize. For example I cannot fly a plane no matter how passionate I am because I do not have the skills. Also marriage requires skills. Communication skills, negotiations skills, parenting skills, financial skills and many other skills to build a solid marriage.. These skills are supposed to be acquired pre and post wedding. Most pre-marital counseling curriculum are not updated to even handle today’s peculiar challenges. When these skills are lacking, marital frustrations begins to set it. Another reason for broken marriages is that the impatience level today is very short especially with technology where everything is fast. Many people want it fast and are not ready to be patient.. Another example is when you do not recognize that the spouse you married 20 years ago has changed and you also need to change.( change here means growth)
women who are about to get married
Ans: Discover yourself before you
say yes to a marriage proposal. Your purpose in life will guide your choice. Be
economically empowered. Go into marriage
as an asset not a liability. Be equipped with the skills and ensure your would
be husband does same. Do not give in to pressure to marry anyone just because
everyone around you is getting married. You will stand alone when the heat
comes as those who pressured you will be no where to be found. Give the relationship time. Ask questions.
Because I am a Christian and believe that God ordained marriage, I will
encourage that women talk to God about their proposed spouse or marriage. Also
don’t be carried away by emotions, ensure both of you are agreeable.
My husband is my number one inspiration and cheer leader. The way he handles pressures and responds when there is a challenge is inspiring. My 3 wise children constantly push me to study because of the enormous potential they carry. Every day I want to become a better parent who will continually unleash their potential for them to impact their world.
Being a woman of Rubies
Wow! I decided long ago I was going to make a positive mark on every woman I meet. So intentionally mentoring them and ensuring they follow the process to make progress is what I think makes me a woman of rubies. When we as women collaborate and not compete we will achieve so much because value is in people not places. God has trapped what we need in relationships. Having the skills to find and nurture these relationships as women will make life so easy. So I must commend Women of Rubies for what they are doing by celebrating women. That’s the spirit!
words of advice for women all over the world
Lookout for other women in your community, office, neighborhood. Collaborate, don’t compete. Aspire to the highest level God has designed for you. Don’t think because you are a woman you are inferior; you are the express image of God. Learn from other women. Celebrate a sister whose time of shinning has come and you will attract same
My first Economics class enlightened me on the difference(s) between human needs versus human wants and how humans can be quite insatiable. So, in order to effectively manage human resources to fit perfectly into these needs, it becomes necessary to draw a scale of preference and know opportunity costs to avoid frivolous spending.
Economics was no doubt one of my favourite subjects in Secondary School inasmuch as Mr Oyakhire made it seem cloudy and boring as more than half of the class were usually long gone in the dream world. The interest amazes me till date.
Some days back after close of work, my colleagues and I got talking on priorities. The topic basically centred on how we can’t make choices or ‘’help’’ people with their choices because choices and priorities will forever remain relative. Thankfully, parents are beginning to get the drift that they can’t force their choices on kids anymore.
Eventually, we all have to make various choices but with some wisdom. There’s nothing logical in a grown man putting his life savings towards the completion of the house his late father left behind in a village when he clearly has no investment in the city he lives in when as a matter of fact, he squats with his newly engaged fiancée and younger sister since he got fired from his banking job.
I also find it ridiculous about the struggle that goes in traveling habrod to have kids with no specific provisions of accommodation, hospital bills and other necessities. Or what do you think about someone who sold some valuables just to attain a Toyota Avalon? His priority, right?
You see, everyone suffers from setting wrong priorities ranging from work relationships, family relationship, boy-girl relationships, etc. Our government is not left out considering how well they concentrate more on unimportant and irrelevant issues rather than work towards the growth of the country.
Remember how long the government played well in the ‘’blame game’’? The constant disapproval and criticism of the past administration? Ok, we know the past administration must have gone a little over the top in misappropriation of bills but can we move on to more pressing issues in the country?
Personally, I think when humans devise means of setting right priorities, more than half of the problems will be solved
Now, we all tend to think increase in salaries automatically solves or accommodate all of our excesses. WRONG! An increment only increases and widens your taste. That’s when our taste buds yearns for rather expensive stuff and we think we’ve finally ‘’arrived’’. It’s not evil to spoil oneself with the good things of life, abi who no like good tin?
According to an Emotional Intelligence Speaker, you can’t manage your huge resources if you do not manage your little resources effectively. It’s no magic. That is practically the period you increase your general taste in fashion, feeding, location, school for kids and many more, to compete with people who can afford these luxuries in a snap. You go as far as going on expensive vacays when your bank account is crying. Some might even get carried away with little or nothing to show for after years of service.
Humans generally want to ‘’belong’’. Just as a peacock displays its beautiful tail, humans want to show off the newly acquired item to fit into their social cycle. Like it or not, adults get intimidated from time to time which eventually leads to esteem issues especially when an adult lacks the discipline to say NO to unnecessary expenses.
Discipline goes a long way to setting right priorities. Discipline shapes characters which is an important ingredient in saving for rainy days. You don’t have to be ashamed to tell your wealthy friends that you can’t afford a luxurious Abu Dhabi vacation. Real friends consider each other’s pocket in initiation of fun.
In one of Uncle Joro’s numerous letters of lamentation, a lady kept grumbling about her friend’s selfish wedding plans. This friend wanted her friends to look ‘’foreign’’ (esteem issues) by getting blue eye contacts and buying some floor-sweeping human hair. She also wanted them to buy red-bottom shoes. The estimate for these according to the grumbling lady was about 150-200k. All for Bellanaija.
If you can afford this for a friend’s wedding, spend your savings on it by all means. You’re an OBO and also ‘’self-made’’ after all. Lord knows I desire the good and beautiful things of life but I know the material I have. So I cut my style according to my available material, knowing that in HIS time, all things shall be beautiful.
Patience is all that requires to bridle your taste buds. Oh ye taste buds, you will get satisfied only with the available foods. You’ll get all that you want, all that you desire in good time.
I’d love to know how you’ve managed with your yards of material to fit your size. How do you set your priorities? What expense has cost almost your arm and leg?
The inspiring story of a new bride, Sarah, has been trending on social media since Saturday. Sarah is a 60-Year old bride who waited 30 years for “Mr. Right”. She never compromised on what she wanted and two years ago, her Mr. Right walked into her life.He proposed in 2016 and the couple got married on Saturday.
The bride’s wedding dress vendor had quite an interesting story to share about meeting Sarah.
60 years old and a first time bride, as in she’s never been married…Dang! She looks good at 60!!….#goodgenes #healthyliving…I remember the first time we met and she told me her age…I was like #hollymolly!!! #abasi mbok…..#unbelieveable ……she went on to tell me how she’s been waiting for ‘Mr. right’ since when she was in her 30’s and he never came. And so two years ago, he finally appeared and proposed in 2016 …..#God is good…#delayisnotdenial. My dearest aunty Sarah…I celebrate with you and may God bless your union…. from @bridesnmoreikeja…. #itsnevertoolate….. more pictures of our youngest and latest bride in town coming