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My step cousin was caught attempting to rape his uncle’s girlfriend’s daughter. My father + step mom decided to bring him into our home thinking a new environment would change him. He raped me every day after school my 6th grade year. They trusted him alone with me.

I told my father about a year and a half ago.. his response? “yea, okay, blame me for something I had zero knowledge of.”

My father was a pastor and my step cousin was a deacon in training. Being that I was a PK and sat up front,I would end up having to hold hands with him during alter call. I’d look over at him and he would smile. I cried during the rapes and he would laugh.

My step cousin was only in 8th grade by the way. This wasn’t a grown man. This was an 8th grade boy with a big full of scare tactics that would shove church bulletins down my throat while raping me in the church floor.

My step cousin and I rode the same school bus. One day, he ran to the door unlocked it and locked me out of the house in the rain. I stood there begging for him to let me in. He let me in when I promised to let him rape me.

When he unlocked the door I ran in as fast as I could and ran to my room. The only reason why his plan that day was messed up was because my step sister and his sister came home from school.

I told my ex step mother what happened around the same time that I told my father what happened. She apologized from the depths of her heart and let me know that if I need any help with anything paying for counseling or ever needed to talk that she was there.

I recently told my aunt who acted as a mother while growing up. While telling he, her jaw was on the floor and her eyes filled with tears. The next day, she told me that she cried herself to sleep and had nothing but nightmares. She said that she blames herself…

She said that she wish she would’ve known. She expressed her deepest sympathies for my pain. She did not blame me. She did not fuss. She understood. She loved me. She asked me if I needed any help, mentally. That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.

My aunt asked me if I had healed from it. She expressed to me that if I had not healed from it she would do everything in her power to help me heal. She has supported me and loved me even more ever since I told her what I went through.

She said “sometimes when women go through these things it takes them a long time to digest the pain that is heavy on their soul. I am glad that you felt safe enough to open up me. I love you more than you will ever know. Want some waffles?”

My aunt stood in as a mom for me, but only when my father would allow her to. She wanted custody of me growing up. However she did not know everything that I was going through.

I cried about it in the beginning,but then I became numb. So, I buried myself in my music. I was a choir geek. I cried using my voice. Every solo I had, I cried through my music. Music kept me sane and ultimately saved my life.

Why would I tell my father about my sexual assault when a year prior I told him I wanted to kill myself. I had recently lost both grand parents a month apart from each other & was being picked on by my 5th grade teacher. His response was ..

“Get the fuck up out my face with that stupid shit!! Don’t you ever come to me with no stupid shit like that again. You wanna kill yourself? I kill you if you come to me with some bullshit like that again. Get the hell up out my face.”

Why would I tell anyone else when my father used to tell me all the time “Don’t nobody care about your damn feelings. You don’t have feelings till you pay some damn bills”

I’m fully healed from my childhood. I just wanted y’all to see wtf goes on in the black RELIGIOUS community. They shame the women and feed the monsters.

 

Source: woman.ng

Photo credit: shutterstock.com

Ochanya was a very brave child who wanted good education,” Ochanya’s father, Michael Ogbanje, tells Pulse while sitting behind the grave of the 13-year-old in Ogene-Amejo village in Okpokwu local government area of Benue state.

However, there was a problem.

The only primary school in the rural community, a stone-throw from Ochanya’s family house, was closed since 2011 due to non-payment of teachers’ salaries, multiple sources say.

Rusty roofing sheets, cracked and broken down walls are all that remains of the Local Government Education Authority (L.G.E.A) Primary School, Ogene-Amejo, which was established in 1976.

When the primary school in this community stopped functioning, her mother took her to the sister’s place in Ugbokolo where she can go to school,” says Ochanya’s father, a retired military personnel and farmer.

Villagers say it’s common practice for children to relocate and attend schools in other communities or risk walking as much as 32 kilometres to and from school every day.

Ochanya goes to school

Ochanya’s only option to getting an education meant leaving the family house where she enjoyed the love and close supervision of her parents for an aunt’s place in Ugbokolo, Benue State.

Ochanya Elizabeth Ogbanje would walk into a home of alleged sexual predators. According to Ochanya, Victor Ogbuja, the son of Andrew Ogbuja, started to sleep with her.

According to a Vanguard article published on August 15, 2018, Ochanya spoke about her ordeal: “It all started in 2013 when I came to live with my mother’s sister in Ugbokolo because there was no school in my village.

“When I was eight years old, the son started sleeping with me and when his sister caught him, she reported him to their father and the father scolded him. From there, the father also started sleeping with me.

According to her mother, Rose Abah-Ogbanje, Ochanya was constantly in and out of different hospitals during the over five-year period that she was away from their care.

I took Ochanya to the man’s (Andrew Ogbuja) house so that she can go to school because there is no functional school in this village,” says Ochanya’s mother while recounting her last moments with the girl.

In 2012, Ochanya became sick. We took her to a hospital in [Saint Mary Hospital]Okpoga where we spent about six days during which she got medical attention. She became well and we came back home. Later, the same sickness came back.

“It started again and we went to Federal Medical Center Makurdi. This time, Ochanya could no longer walk and she had lost weight. We spent about two to five days at the hospital and we were discharged.

“When we came back home, Ochanya began to pass waste out of her body without control. We complained at the hospital but they could not stop it,” she recalls.

Ochanya’s health condition was still unclear to her as the aunt allegedly hid results of eleven tests carried out on the girl from her parents.

‘Four months in diapers’

Worried by the uncontrollable passage of bodily waste, Ochanya’s parents queried her to ascertain what went wrong.

When Ochanya returned home, she was still urinating on her body and we continued using diapers on her. So, I told the mum to check and ask Ochanya when bathing her. It was at this point that Ochanya’s mother discovered that she had been sexually abused,” Mr Ogbanje says.

Ochanya’s caregiver in Otukpo took her to the Benue State Teaching Hospital where they ran seventeen tests at N23,000. The tests further revealed that Ochanya was sexually molested through her vagina and anus,” he adds.

Due to the absence of basic social amenities such as a hospital, good road and power, in Ochanya’s village, she was relocated from the Ogbuja house to Restorer of PathCare Foundation.

Caregiver and founder of the home, Evangelist Enuwa Margaret Soo who took over Ochanya’s health issues, corroborated the results of these tests during our visit to the facility in Otada-Ehicho, Otukpo.

“Sometime in June 2018, I got a call from Ochanya’s elder sister who narrated her predicament to me,” Mrs Soo began.

“A few days later, Ochanya’s parents brought her to my office. At this time, one could see that she was physically sick. But we had to run some tests to confirm their stories.

“I took her to the Benue State University Teaching Hospital, Makurdi, where it was confirmed that she had been sexually abused carnally and annally. We began to make efforts on how she can be treated,”she adds.

At the time they brought the girl, she was very sick and when we began to make our findings, we discovered that she was actually raped and the doctors confirmed that she was allegedly sexually abused through the vagina and the anus” she reportedly said.

Angered by this discovery, Mr Ogbanje sought to hear Mr Ogbuja’s side of the story.

I called Andrew’s brother, Dominic, to come and hear what Ochanya told me. When we got to the [Ogbuja] house, he [Ogbuja] denied sleeping with Ochanya and asked that we go to the hospital and run any form of test. He also said he would swear an oath to prove his innocence.

“He, however, said his son, Victor, was caught sleeping with Ochanya and he quarrelled the boy, they prayed and he asked them to go and play.

“I was angry. He didn’t even tell his wife. When we told her, she suggested that we run more tests to be sure if it was her husband and son’s actions that led to Ochanya’s ill health.

“We fixed a date to go to the hospital but, she never got in touch with us,” he notes.

How Ochanya died

Recalling her last moments with Ochanya, Mrs Soo says prior to her death, she could neither walk, speak nor eat.

When I came back from an outing on a certain Friday, one of the girls informed me that Ochanya said she was cold. I went in and discovered she was running a temperature,” she says.

One or two days later, Ochanya could no longer make use of her legs. She was becoming lifeless from her waist downwards. Before then, she had challenges controlling her urine. Her mother told me about her condition. All through Ochanya’s days here [June to October 2018], she was on diapers.

“Before she died, she was in so much pains but she could not talk or eat. That girl went through so much. From age eight to thirteen, she was constantly in and out of the hospital,” Soo says.

Ochanya’s broken, sick parents demand justice

Mr Ogbanje, who now tends to the farms to feed his family, says the judiciary is the only hope of the family in getting justice for their late daughter.

I have many children but Ochanya is the youngest. I can never forget her death. I have lost so much weight since she died because she is always on my mind. Whenever I see her grave, I become inconsolable. As I speak to you, I am seriously sick,” he says.

Ochanya was such a brave child who wanted quality education. This was why she could defend herself the way she spoke fluently in court.

“I want to appreciate the government for how far the case has come because I have no power to tackle this matter. If it wasn’t for the government, I could have done nothing because he [Mr Ogbuja] is well connected in the society.

“My plea is that this case ends well because we’re afraid that if justice is perverted, he [Mr Ogbuja] will come and confront us,” he concludes.

Mrs Ogbanje says she’s been unable to eat or sleep since Ochanya’s death.

Ochanya was a peaceful child who loved school; she was equally intelligent and did well in school before death took her away from us,” says her mother.

Since Ochanya died and was buried here [pointing at her grave], I have never come to see her grave [breaks down in tears]. I am deeply hurt by her death. Since my daughter, Ochanya, died, I don’t sleep; I don’t feel hungry.

“The government should have mercy on us and deliver judgement on this case involving Andrew Ogbuja. They should also get his wife and son,” Mrs Ogbanje pleaded amidst tears.

Culled from pulse.ng

Credit: Pulse

As part of the plan to ensure full justice for the Late Elizabeth Ochanya Ogbaje, 13, who died last month as a result of the alleged sexual assault, the operatives of the National Agency for the prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP), has arrested the aunty of the late Ochaya, Mrs. Ogbuja who is suspected to have had knowledge of the nefarious act but refused to report or speak out.
The arrest of Mrs. Ogbuja said to be a Staff of the catering Department of the Benue State Polytechnic, Ugbokolo, came about four weeks after intensive manhunt having disappeared from her house shortly after the tragic incident.
#JusticeForOchanya: NAPTIP arrests late victim
It would be recalled that the late Elizabeth Ochanya Ogbaje, a 13 years old student of the Federal Government Girls College, Gboko, died on Sunday 21st October 2018 after a life battle with Vesico vaginal fistula (VVF) and other health complications at the Benue State University Teaching Hospital, Makurdi.
This was occasioned by the allegedly sexual abuse by one Andrew Ogbuja, Head of Department, Catering and Hotel Management at the Benue State Polytechnic, Ugbokolo, Benue State, and his son, Victor Inalegwu Ogbuja, a final year student of Animal Production at the Federal University of Agriculture, Makurdi.
In addition to the ongoing prosecution of the principal suspects in the case, the Director – General of the National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) Dame Julie Okah – Donli, immediately directed the Markudi Zonal Command of the Agency to arrest the said Mrs. Ogbuja and other accomplices for prosecution.
Giving detail of the arrest, the Markudi Zonal Commander of NAPTIP, Mr. Ganiu Agaran, said it took the combined efforts of operatives of the Agency in Markudi, Lagos and even Abuja before she was arrested.
Report indicated that the suspect, who got hint of the plan to arrest her, had absconded to Lagos and later to Abuja before she finally returned to Markudi were she was arrested Friday afternoon.
Speaking on the development, NAPTIP Director – General, Dame Julie Okah Donli, said the suspect will be thoroughly investigated to ascertain her level of connivance in the incident and thereafter charged to court.
“I am still pained by the tragic death of the Late Elizabeth Ochaya Ogbaje and the only thing we can do to ensure that her groaning spirit rest in peace is to ensure that full dose of justice is served on all those that are directly or indirectly involved in the unwholesome act that led to her death.
“It is important to establish the status of people around the late girl who had knowledge of her ordeal and yet refused to report to the Law enforcement Agencies who would have rescued her.
“We cannot continue to fold our hands while our children are been sexually molested and assaulted by people that ought to have protected them. This case at hand will be a case that will be monitored and all those linked in one way or the other shall all be made to face the full weight of the law.
“I also want to use this opportunity to appeal to all State Governors to domesticate the Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act (VAPP) which is presently applicable in the Federal Capital Territory. This Act is designed to ensure that our children and other vulnerable classes of the society are protected.
“It is important to point out that domesticating the VAPP is another form of giving the citizen real divided of democracy”, NAPTIP Director – General said.
Credit: LIB

Ochanya, 13, had died from complications of vesicovaginal fistula (VVF) after she was allegedly raped by her guardian,Ogbuja and his son, Victor — situation that began since she was eight years old.

The news of Ochanya’s death attracted nationwide protests and outrage.

In a Punch advertorial signed by Supreme Knight, Desmond Uvueraye, on Wednesday, October 31, 2018, the religious organisation described the rape case involving its member, Ogbuja as unfortunate and regrettable.

The group said Ogbuja’s suspension from the Knighthood would last till the Court delivers judgement on the matter.

Meanwhile, a Chief Magistrate Court has remanded Mr Ogbuja, the man alleged to have raped Ochanya

At the court on Thursday, October 25, 2018, Chief Magistrate, Isaac Ajim, declined to entertain the matter for lack of jurisdiction to hear the charge bothering on criminal conspiracy and culpable homicide preferred against the accused by the Nigerian Police.

The Benue State governor, Samuel Ortom, has also promised that Ochanya’s case would not be swept under the carpet.

Credit: Pulse News

 Oluwaseun Osowobi Ayodeji, the founder of Stand to End Rape, an NGO advocating against sexual violence and providing support for survivors, have been awarded The Future of Women Award.

The award is about inspiring, engaging, and recognizing rising women leaders across the continent of Africa.

Out of 1200 nominations from 40 countries received, Oluwaseun won in the area of social impact.

Oluwaseun will receive ad-credit and individual support from Facebook as well as advice on how to connect to the office of the firstlady in Nigeria.

After surviving rape in 2011, Oluwaseun was inspired to work to achieve a different future for women. In 2013, she started an online platform on social media as a means to help survivors speak out. This was born out of the need to help those who have been violated with opportunities for justice and psychological and social support.

source: woman.ng

Stand to End Rape Initiative in collaboration with The Initiative for Equal Rights and the Revolving Art Incubator present the HERE Exhibition from April 30th to May 12th at the Revolving Art Incubator, 2nd Floor, Silverbird Galleria, Victoria Island, Lagos.

The HERE Exhibition Opening Event holds on 30th of April at 4pm and will feature conversations with guest speakers; Titilope Sonuga and Arit Okpo, and spoken word.

The HERE Exhibition is a platform for sharing the stories of survivors. The goal of the exhibition is to empower survivors of sexual violence to break the silence and regain their freedom. The photos in the exhibition highlights places where rape occurs, thereby disrupting the stigmatization that people who are violated in such locations face.

The use of imagery (photography) is strategic as it creates a body of work that literally hits close to home; reflecting the reality of how close survivors often are to their abusers.

The exhibition also serves as a fundraiser for a rehabilitation center where women and girls will be sheltered, while we are helping them to reintegrate into the society. While at the center, they will be empowered with life skills to enable them become economically independent of their abuser in cases where this occurs at the home front