Self Discovery and Mastery


There are so many women who have dreams, visions, plans and blueprints on what they want to achieve in their lives. Oftentimes those visions and plans come into fruition and other times those blueprints never lead to the building blocks they envisioned. Why is that? From time women have been taught to hold their tongues, talk themselves out of pursuing lofty goals and succumbing to the pressures of life.

The hidden truth behind why women limit their dreams is because there is this false idea that has been deeply planted in the minds of women that says, “I am not good enough.” For every “I can” there is a young woman somewhere saying, “but.” I am sure that men may experience the same limitations, however, the contexts are different. Women face an unusual amount of pressure to live up to certain expectations and social constructs that are placed upon them. All of these “pressure” points have unintended consequences that hinder a woman from fully creating the life she envisions for herself.

Most importantly, limitations are primarily seen as self-creating. Therefore external factors that cause self-limitation are not given enough attention. Insecurity is not only caused by internal issues, but is also caused by external factors. Young women need to be able to identify areas in their lives that chip away at their self-confidence. People, culture, familial expectations, and environments can serve as a big contributor to the lack of self-confidence. Self-imposed limitations compounded with external factors make it more difficult for women to pursue their dreams. The only way to move forward is by understanding that what you don’t allow to continue has no power in influencing your life.


Credit: Yetunde A. Odugbesan Omede

Guardian Woman

Singer, Lami Philips shared a photo from her childhood days with an emotional background story of how she grew up and the battles she fought.

Read below…

Yeah.. that’s me.. the darkest person in the picture. I grew up “knowing” that I wasn’t the prettiest. My parents friends would joke “blacky”.. or ask me in Yoruba “ki lo de to se jo okunrin bayi “ ( why do you look so much like a boy). I was told I was short and thick ( it sounds worse in Yoruba).

I was also asked why i looked like my dad. Why wasn’t I light skinned like my mother? So many questions… all somehow directed at making me subconsciously question the way I looked. Over time.. I decided to ignore or compartmentalize those insecurities. I ignored the fact that I was somewhat unrecognizable in photographs or less favored for certain opportunities.

I was never called pretty as much as I can remember. I convinced myself that I was ordinary. Thank God for my sense of humour because I allowed it all dust off my shoulders by joking about it. So as a teenager when a boy said he liked me .. I wouldn’t believe it. Why would he like me when there are others prettier than me? Little did I know that I was far from ordinary. Little did they know.. that I was beautiful… TO UNDERSTAND THE FRUIT WE MUST EXAMINE THE ROOT. Excuse me as I pursue PURPOSE. (Most people won’t understand the “purpose” or meaning of this post/caption.. and that’s ok too)

Credit: LIB

4:35 AM- Almost time for Lolo’s 5 am run. She is awake but still laying in bed; her body aches from the workout of last night but she knows she has to run to also release her muscles.


Lolo Cynthia Is a public health specialist, sexuality educator and founder of the social enterprise LoloTalks, that employs all forms of media (online and offline) to create awareness and sustainable solutions to our contemporary social and health issues in Africa.  She also doubles as a documentary and talk show producer and lends her voice on issues regarding interpersonal relationships, sexuality, gender, and social issues through her YouTube channel LoloTalks and her blog.

Tiwa Savage has bare it all about her battle with low self esteem

The Mavin queen also revealed that she only looks beautiful by the help of make-ups and push-up bras. Stating that sometimes she is intimidated by the glamour on social media.

“I get a lot of messages from young girls who are depressed with low self-esteem because they don’t feel pretty like the social media girls they see every day and my heart breaks because I feel like that too sometimes.

“We are all in this together, I’m not perfect, and not the prettiest, sexiest, richest but I’ll remain kind and seek after God’s heart because none of the others matters to Him.

“Ultimately God’s approval is all we need”, she said.

She added that contrary to public belief, she hardly sees herself as a pretty woman.

“Some people are born beautiful, flawless skin, long curly hair, fair skin but some of us grew up looking at the world’s definition of beauty and found ourselves not fitting into that standard but with the help of makeup, filters and push up bras we feel a little closer.

“What happens when you take all that off and you stare at yourself in the mirror, do you still think you are beautiful?

“You should because you are and when we meet our creator face to face it’s those with the kindest hearts that will stand as most beautiful.

“So while we work on the outside make sure we work on our hearts.”

Singer and actress Selena Gomez has announced that she will be taking a break from social media for a while.

She made the announcement on her Instagram page, after posting a selfie to her Instagram account.

The 26-year old star had first captioned it with “Mood lol (I was looking at myself in the mirror -like an idiot!)”

Later, Selena updated the post with the caption:

“Update: taking a social media break. Again. As much as I am grateful for the voice that social media gives each of us, I am equally grateful to be able to step back and live my life present to the moment I have been given. Kindness and encouragement only for a bit! Just remember- negative comments can hurt anybody’s feelings. Obvi.”


“I Had A Child At 19 And 14 Heartbreaks Before I Met My Prince Charming

”Like a phoenix, Lara Kudayisi Emeralds is rising from the ashes of adversity and inspiring others to do so through her story. Her tale will inspire you to rise above your challenges no matter what life throws at you. Her dream is to help singles make the right decision before walking down the aisle. The pretty relationship counselor and matchmaking mistress had a child at 19, her heart was broken 14 times and and has had 15 abortions .Today, Lara is touching lives through her “Matchmaking Mistress” platform. When you meet Lara, you realize she doesn’t look like what she has been through. This is her story.

Meet Lara Kudayisi-Emerald

I am the Matchmaking Mistress. I help singles attract their dream partners and walk down the aisle in the shortest time possible. I do this via The Achieve Your Marriage Goal Plan, Help My Heart Skype Call and The Complete Singles Club among others

The Match Making Mistress Brand

It actually started with my Complete Singles Club. I realized that though the guys and ladies chat daily in a Whatsapp group and meet every month, yet relationships weren’t happening like everyone expected it to. I knew at that point that I needed to go an extra mile to help them.
I started matchmaking a few of them that were interested and things got better, and since then I discovered an industry that is untapped and decided to pioneer it.

Being a relationship expert

Apart from being a Matchmaking Mistress. I am also a Relationship Expert. I started doing that because of my journey to a happily ever after life. I had a child at 19, had 14 heartbreaks and 15 abortions. I was so messed up until I finally got married to my prince charming. I decided to help people find happiness without going through all I went through and that was birthed the relationship articles and coaching programmes.

Pain is what pushes me

I want to help people in the little way that I can. Pain is what pushes me. I want to help eradicate pain. A lot of people have miserable marriages and dysfunctional relationships. I have been through this so many times and it’s not a pleasant place to be in. I feel fulfilled when I see people that I help smile and feel better.

Giving up?

Oh Yes. So many times I feel like giving up especially when I wasn’t making money and I was pouring out my soul to help people especially when it’s the only thing that I do. If you don’t make money from your passion with time, you would get frustrated. I had to learn that lesson the hard way and make it a full time business that pays the bills

Other Projects

Our Complete Singles Academy is coming up soon. It’s an Academy that singles need to go through for Self Discovery and Mastery. A lot of single people don’t even know who they are or why they act the way they do. Some people were raped, molested or mistreated and broken when they were young. It has affected who they are and what they do. This has affected who they are or how they behave. It also affects how they date and who they date. When you are dysfunctional, you would attract dysfunctional people, because you attract who you are. Furthermore, we would run dating programs and Marriage Preparatory Classes. I am so driven to help repair singles before they get married. When people get married, it’s a lot more difficult to help them because another person is involved.


People are skeptical to be match made. They have no idea what match making entails. In fact, some people felt it shows they are desperate or it meant they were slackers as a guy. They didn’t know that there’s no big deal in it. It’s just normal introduction of boy, girl like it was way back in history. I remember asking a girl if she preferred to have no one ask her out in ages or have me introduce different people to her until she finds a perfect fit. Of course she preferred the introductions. So the challenge is the ignorance in the society about Matchmaking.

It makes my work more complicated.

Future Project

Telling your story

In Public Speaking, you need to connect with the people you are speaking to and for people of this generation; you need to tell them your story. People don’t want to hear 5 or 7 steps, they want to hear how you handled the challenges you had, and how you were able to surmount it. They want to know that you were in their shoes, you felt their pain and now that you have come out unscathed, then you have the right to talk them. Not because you have read some books or read stuff on the Internet.

Being a woman of Rubies

The ability to want to help alleviate people’s pain. I love to eradicate people’s emotional trauma and lead them to a happily ever experience