Nigerian women

In Career Gems January 23, 2024 By Esther Ijewere

8 Personal Finance Books By Black Female Authors You Need To Read In 2024

solape Akinpelu Stripped — black female authors

This book is widely celebrated for its actionable strategies that support African women in building and managing generational wealth. The book serves to answer the burning questions and allay the commonest fears that most African women have when it comes to managing their money and building wealth. It also establishes the need for a mindset reorientation with practical guides and steps to guide African women in trans-generational wealth-building.

3. Get Good with Money by Tiffany the Budgetnista Aliche

This book covers investing, budgeting, debt repayment, and savings providing readers with the knowledge and tools to make informed financial decisions, create a budget, and understand their relationship with money through relatable stories and personal experiences.

4. The One Week Budget by Tiffany the Budgetnista Aliche

This book offers a step-by-step plan to help you create a comprehensive budget tailored to your financial goals and needs in just one week.

With a straightforward approach, Aliche outlines the five steps to budgeting success: tracking, cutting, automating, increasing, and protecting. She provides detailed guidance on tracking expenses, cutting costs, automating payments, increasing income, and protecting your finances. The One Week Budget also includes helpful budgeting resources, tips, and exercises to help you stay motivated and on track.

4. We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers

In We Should All Be Millionaires, Rachel Rodgers encourages her readers to pursue financial freedom by making the most of their current resources and taking ownership of their lives.

She argues that anyone can become a millionaire, no matter their financial situation, by taking control of their finances and using them to create a better future. Rodgers also outlines the steps to build a successful business, manage debt, and create wealth.

5. The Money Manual: A Practical Money Guide to Help You Succeed on Your Financial Journey By Tonya Rapley

This book is divided into three sections:
Building a Foundation: This section teaches the basics of financial literacy, including budgeting, saving, and planning.

Establishing Goals: This section focuses on creating and executing a plan to reach financial goals.

Taking Action: In the final section, you’ll learn how to make your financial goals a reality, including strategies for investing, debt management, and building wealth.

6. Financial Freedom for Black Women: A Girl’s Guide to Winning with Your Wealth, Career, Business, and Retiring Early —With Real Estate, Cryptocurrency, Side Hustles, Stock Market Investing, & More! by Brandie Brookes

This book addresses the unique challenges Black women face when trying to build wealth. It offers realistic advice on topics such as budgeting, investing, and building credit, as well as strategies for tackling debt and how to build generational wealth.

It also includes inspiring stories of successful Black women who have achieved financial freedom.

7. Clever Girl Finance: Ditch Debt, Save Money, and Build Wealth by Bola Sokunbi

This book is broken into three parts:

Money Mindset: Sokunbi discusses how to develop a positive relationship with money, including how to identify and change negative money thoughts and beliefs.

Get Control of Your Finances: This section focuses on money management, from budgeting and tracking expenses to setting financial goals and building an emergency fund.

Get Rich: This section covers strategies to grow wealth, such as investing, starting a side hustle, and building passive income streams.

Sokunbi also provides actionable advice, inspiring stories, and personal anecdotes to help her readers gain financial freedom.

8. Fearless Finances: A Timeless Guide to Building Wealth by Cassandra Cummings

This book covers budgeting, saving, investing, debt management, insurance, and retirement planning.

Cummings provides clear instructions and strategies to help you make smart financial decisions, overcome your fears around money, build a legacy of wealth, and achieve long-term financial security.

We hope these black female authors will inspire you to take your finances seriously this year.

Source: baucemag.com

In Inspiration October 27, 2022 By Ruby Girls Nigeria

‘We Need To Stop Judging Women Who Leave Abusive Relationships’- Oluwatoyin Fadairo

There is no force greater than a woman determined to live a fulfilled life, and make a difference while at it. Oluwatoyin Fadairo is a goal-oriented woman full of passion. for humanity and affinity for change. TSD, as she is fondly called by friends, is a successful entrepreneur that also doubles as a philanthropist whose focus is on vulnerable women and children in the society.

With her creativity and innovative ideas, she has been able to create a niche for herself on social media, and this has landed her a number of ambassadorial and brand promotion roles with reputable brands and businesses across the world.

Oluwatoyin Fadairo is the Director of Operations for TSDXclusive, the home of quality bespoke footwear for men, and shoes for women and children. Oluwatoyin has successfully created a platform for children and women experiencing any form of abuse or human right violation, to seek and get necessary help and intervention.

Being a philanthropist, TSD is the founder of The Unbroken Women Initiative (TUWI), a non-profit organization that caters for women and children with psychological, emotional, and financial needs.

Oluwatoyin Fadairo shares her inspiring story with Women of Rubies.

Childhood Influence

Growing up was fun. I grew up in a relatively comfortable family, as my parents tried their utmost best to provide us with the necessities of life and my siblings and I attended some the best schools around. However, we were taught not to close our eyes to the needs of the people around us, as there are rewards for givers.

In our neighborhood, we had folks who were struggling to cater for their kids, my parents especially my mum always assisted in her own little way and I learnt this from her. I made up my mind at the early stage to ensure I am always there for people, in my own little way.

Inspiration Behind The Unbroken Welfare Initiative

The empathy for women who suffered all kinds of abuses in marriages. The trauma some of them experienced when they lost their spouse, seeing children, who ought to be in school doing menial jobs at the earliest stage of their lives, etc, motivated me to start The Unbroken Welfare initiative (TUWI).

The Journey So Far

Frankly speaking, it has been very challenging. This type of vision requires a lot of resources – human, financial and a host of others to sustain it and make desired impact in the lives of the target population.
A lot of financial resources are required to meet up with the ever mounting financial requests.

You will be amazed to see the number of requests that get to our table on daily basis, like financial assistance to sort medical bills, school fees, accommodations, etc. Many people believe, for you to set up this kind of NGO, the finances are there and you must be able to respond to all, immediately these requests are presented.

They are ignorant of the fact that the organisation runs on the little gains from personal businesses and goodwill of friends and family that key into TUWI’s vision.

Another major challenge we face is that people are skeptical of sharing their burdens with us. Many are reluctant to share their experiences due to societal discriminations, as well as pressure to keep quiet, especially those in abusive marriages/relationships.

Also, for every platform, there are people, who are not genuinely in need but cook up stories, to the extent of ‘cooking up’ fake medical reports in a bid to get funds from us. We also need volunteers, especially professionals, to assist in attending to diverse issues.

How My Work Inspire Other Women

I have seen a lot of women coming out to express themselves freely about challenges they are going through. People have walked up to me, to speak of their desire to touch lives in their communities, because they appreciate what we are doing. This gives us at TUWI, a lot of joy and push to do more.

Other Projects and Activities

I started my business years ago (sales of interior décor). I am now also into sales of fashion items mostly shoes and many others….brand influencing, social media adverts and campaigns for brands/businesses and brand ambassadorship (I am presently the face of two brands).

What I Enjoy Most About My Job

Getting to meet new people, helping small businesses grow as I also supply items in wholesales…I have a number of people who get items from me through what we call the dropshipping system, this makes it possible for people to start and run businesses without having to worry about capital
The most satisfying aspect of my job is the running of TUWI, knowing that at least I get to touch lives positively in my own little way

3 women who inspire me and why

My mum, Chimamanda Adichie and Olamide Ogidan Odeseye(Larmmy)

To People Who Judge Women Who Walk Out Of Abusive Relationships

Stop pushing people down the death valley. Life has no recovery key and we cannot continue to encourage people to keep enduring torments. If we only put ourselves in other people’s shoes, we will be less judgmental.
Then we need to let people especially this new generation know marriage is not a do or die affair, its supposed to be a journey between partners not a war zone.

How To support women in abusive relationships

As a society, we need to stop stigmatizing single people and single parents. This has prevented many from walking away from unproductive and abusive relationship.

We need to encourage women in abusive relationship to speak up and also provide them with therapy to enable them heal, as abusive relationship leaves people with a huge scar and takes so many things away – joy, self-esteem, vision and so many other things.

What Makes Me a Woman of Rubies

In the adventure of life, I have been through a lot of fire and storms. I have not given the fire the power to burn me nor subjected myself to be blown away by the storm. Rather, I have allowed the experiences to shape me into a woman of dignity, industry, influence, vision and respect.

No matter the challenges or the obstacles that come my way, I have chosen to live through them and to be inspired by them.

Watch: How To Stop Being A People Pleaser

My life is a proof that God exists, I am evidence that He is indeed faithful and so gracious. There are days I feel like my life is not all together, other days, I feel like wonder woman but I have learnt to be in charge, in both situations. Rubies are beautiful, they are formed under severe heat and pressure.

The heat of life refines me, the pressure of life strengthens me.

If I Could Speak To A Young Person Who Is On The Verge Of Giving Up

Quitters never win. No situation is common to a man and no challenge has ever come to stay, as long as one does not surrender to it. Never stop dreaming. Everyone being celebrated today, would tell you they were at the point of given up, at some time but they turned things around by realizing that, giving up would not result in change of fortune, they re-assessed where they were, where they ought to be, understand what was needed to move from where they were to be where they ought to be, resolved to give it all their all, connected with people who can lift up their spirits and assist them in their life journey.

Life is full of ups and downs but never give up.

You can follow Oluwatoyin Fadairo On Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to know more about her work.

In Career Gems August 17, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Feminitease Launches Online Market Hub For Nigerian Women

The times have evolved so much that the normal we were used to is likely not to return to us in the near future. The new norm is digital life, the easyway experts call it.

Feminitease is offering a platform for networking and growth for women entrepreneurs and an online mall specially for women based products and services.

According to the CEO, Folasayo Adefemi; We believe this is the new era as virtual reality is fast running the business affairs globally, hence the reason why I created “Feminitease” ; an online market hub that caters to women’s shopping needs and promotes women owned and women based businesses.

We are offering a platform for networking and growth for women entrepreneurs and an online mall specially for women based products and services. We believe this is the new era as virtual reality is fast running the business affairs globally.

The effects of the Covid-19 pandemic are very obvious and lots of business are suffering major down turns in the face of a global lockdown. We are offering your business visibility and traction as a support to help your business thrive in these times.

We encourage women entrepreneurship and care about women.

For vendors who want to advertise their products and services and more enquiries, kindly contact Folasayo on 09033638917, 08035905851

You can also sign up on Feminitease.com

You can also send an Email to: ceo@feminitease.com or support@feminitease.com

Follow @feminitease on Facebook here; https://www.facebook.com/feminitease

Instagram ; https://www.instagram.com/feminitease/

In Career Gems July 20, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Asisat Oshoala Queries Africans’ Attitude To Women Football

Super Falcons Captain, Asisat Oshoala, is worried that despite the strides women football has made in recent times, Africans still do not accord the ladies the respect they deserve. The FC Barcelona Ladies top striker is particularly disturbed by the apathy those running the game in the continent display when it comes to women’s teams.

Speaking at the weekend, Oshoala faulted the outright cancellation of the 2020 African Women’s Cup of Nation’s by CAF, saying it was not the right direction “to take at this critical moment when women football is struggling to grow in the continent.” She said the decision further shows that women football is not regarded as an important aspect of life in Africa.

She argued that if it involved men or boys, the national federations would have risen against the cancellation.

“The news of the cancellation of the 2020 CAF Women’s Nations Cup was a shock to me because as a player, this is a tournament we all look forward to every two years. It would have been better if it was postponed and not totally cancelled. It is not fair on women footballers.

“If it were the men’s Nations Cup, the various football federations and the media would have been lamenting, making noise and mounting pressure on CAF to reverse the decision. But now that it is women football nobody is talking. Other women footballers in the continent are not delighted with the cancellation of the championship.”

She condemned the attitude of CAF and the other federations to women football, adding that poor funding has retarded the growth of women football in Africa.

“In 2016, Cameroun hosted the African Women Nations Cup and CAF was highly commended for a fantastic show. And now after four years, CAF was still contemplating in March if Nigeria or any other country would host the championship scheduled for November 2020.

“Notwithstanding the COVID-19 issue, this is not right. We are supposed to have gone beyond this level in Africa.

“At the FIFA level, the host of the next Women World Cup is already known. Women football in Africa needs help by the stakeholders showing more interest in the game,” she said.

Oshoala, however, expressed delight at the prospect of teams in the continent playing in the CAF Champions League, saying it would help in promoting the game across the continent.

“I thank CAF for this move, but I am not happy with the cancellation of the CAF Awards as it should be held visually by Zoom or any other online process. That would have saved CAF the cost of inviting people to a venue.

“I am not saying this for selfish reasons because I already have four awards. It is for the progress of the continent. This is the only award we look up to in Africa,” she added.

On the local scene, Oshoala said the Nigeria Football Federation should organise more quality friendly games for the Super Falcons to keep the team in shape.

“We, the players, have been discussing with the NFF to organise more games for us. Apart from the qualifiers, the team needs to meet often to make it easier for the players to blend well. This is why other teams in Europe are ahead of us. I believe after the sports lockdown, the NFF will look on it,” she said.

In self development July 14, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Olabisi Animashuan: Pre-conceived Bias And Housing Discrimination Of Lagos Landlords Towards Single Women.

“I don’t understand why Lagos Landlords have a problem with renting out their apartments to single women” I hear the worry and frustration in my sister’s voice at the other end of the line. The prawn crackers I was munching on became tasteless in my mouth. We’ve been on this conversation for the past twenty minutes. I sigh. I understand her predicament. Our other sister had the same issue while she was apartment hunting. Ever the adventurous one, she had wanted to move out of the house as soon as she got a job after serving the fatherland in Kwara State.

She was initially posted to the far end of Wamba in Nasarawa State, our parents, after a long series of argument, emotional blackmail, and threats had reached a compromise with her; they would agree on a state not too far from home but Ogun, Oyo, and Osun States are out of the options. Fully aware of the efforts it took her to reach a compromise; they had agreed to facilitate her redeployment to Kwara State. After service, she got a great job at a top publishing firm in Lagos and couldn’t wait to leave home; “A girl also needs her privacy” she always says. I recall the number of times she would lament to our parents and whoever cared enough to listen about how unfair society treats women. A single woman can hardly get accommodation in a decent environment without pretending to be engaged or presenting a father figure in her life to testify of responsibility and his willingness to grant her the freedom she desires. Long story short, after much persuasion, dad had gone with her to the agents of some of the apartments she was interested in.

I try persuading my sister to go through the route our other sister eventually took. I mean, if a single woman cannot gain decent accommodation because of the prejudice the society has on singleness and women in general, what else can a girl do? Lagos landlords are of the opinion that women are mostly sponsored by their parents, husbands, or the numerous men in their lives. If things go sour between the ‘small girls’ and their ‘big gods’, the rent will suffer for it. That again is another prejudice, a stereotype that women are not as hardworking and financially stable as their male counterparts. My sister still continues to rant, demanding to know why her decision should be based on her marital status or parental influence. Seeing that I was making no headway as she is already determined, I calmly listen to her rants and let her know all will be well.

After saying our goodbyes, I begin to ponder on what we had just discussed. I have never thought about leaving my parents’ house without leaving for my matrimonial home. I still have no intention to do so, except if my career demands it. Probably because I’m very attached to my parents, being the last child. I recall my brother didn’t have this kind of problem. The landlord had only insisted that the rent be paid when due, the number of occupants shouldn’t be more than three at any point since that was stated clearly in their agreement form and loud parties will not be tolerated. Those rules were fair enough. Any responsible person would easily abide by them.

I can’t help but believe these hideous beliefs and bias stem from the deeply rooted patriarchal system African countries, especially Nigeria are cursed with. Why my financial capabilities would be judged by my gender. A woman by ‘default’ is judged incapable, not because she doesn’t have a job, but because she’s a single WOMAN.

It’s funny how many people would turn a blind eye to discriminating against females wanting to be independent. Others might even validate the act. It is very understanding and acceptable if the basis of rejection is based on the premises of the individual doesn’t have a stable job hence the fear of defaulter in payment of rent or the individual has a track record of recklessness and irresponsibility. I recall reading about an interview with a property owner and landlord, Coleman Nwafor and BBC Africa, Mr. Nwafor had said that the bulk of his tenants are men because they have more than women.

Asides the financial ‘insecurity’ bias, many landlords and property developers, are driven by the belief that women cannot — or should not — live outside their father or husband’s house. Another evidence of how much damage the patriarchal belief system has done to our society.

My sister had earlier shared with me the very unnecessary and invasive questions the landlords of the apartments she had inspected had thrown at her, “Why would you want to leave alone? Don’t you know you’re a woman? Are your parents still alive? What do they think of this act of yours?

Another had said “You look old enough for marriage, why are you still unmarried? One of them had even with all sincerity told her that men do not want a woman who is already ‘settled’ getting an apartment as a single woman would reduce her chances of getting married, no man wants a woman who doesn’t need him, a woman who has it all would find difficult to be submissive to her husband. The society has made marriage the ultimate attainment of a woman and normalised policing women about. There is already established bias, that the need for a single lady to live apart from her parent is to fuel her wayward lifestyle, most definitely to live her life unsupervised. The upper-class single women seem to have it a little easier though they still endure some wagging tongues and snide remarks about their lifestyle.

If we are aware of and irritated about how tribalistic landlords can be when it comes to choosing their tenants, and then we can imagine how most women have it worse, one from discrimination against their tribe and then their gender.

Can you testify to these ridiculous and backward reasoning acts? Please share your experience with us and how you handled it.

Written by: Olabisi Animashuan

In Career Gems July 8, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Wevvo Nigeria, Arese Ugwu Set To Organise Financial Literacy Virtual Workshop For Single Mums

Financial literacy is essential to anyone, and for women responsible for providing for their children and families, the skill of making, managing and growing wealth is fundamental. One of the common threads of most single female breadwinners (single mothers) is that they live in survival mode. When society continues to portray women responsible for their families as struggling, broke and always needy, it is not farfetched for women to begin to believe these narratives and live into it, but it does not have to be so.

Therefore, Wevvo Nigeria has partnered with the founder of Smart Money Africa and Author of “The smart money woman” and “The smart money tribe”; Arese Ugwu to educate single moms on financial literacy and savings culture.

According to the founder of Wevvo Nigeria Weyinmi Eribo; “We believe that it is possible to live parallel lives of caring for the family while attaining financial freedom, hence our reason for partnering with Arese Ugwu to share her knowledge in this regard. I founded Wevvo because I know that women struggle in many ways, and for single female breadwinners it is worse, a full circle of negligence and lack of appreciation for the struggles we go through. I have seen several times how narratives have put women in boxes, this single story continues to create gaps in women’s’ careers and businesses. At Wevvo, we are changing this narrative.

Wevvo Nigeria is a resource and community-based platform that supports single female breadwinners with access to finance, business capacity boosting trainings and workshops, mentoring and a community to thrive, a safe space for healing and growth, learn more about our work and join the community.

Join us on the 18th of July in a zoom event where we will be learning money tips, asking questions, and sharing experiences unique to single female breadwinners.

Visit us at www.wevvo.ng

In Editor's Choice December 14, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“THE PERSON YOU MARRY HAS THE ABILITY TO MAKE OR DISRUPT YOUR JOURNEY”- AMAKA CHIBUZO-OBI

They say Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds the true friend in his wife. This is one of things Amaka Chibuzo-Obi’s organization wivesroundtable advocates for.

An organisation dedicated to using media to empower women with valuable information, tools and resources to help them live wholesomely.

Amaka who is also the founder of The Wivesroundtable Foundation ; dedicated to improving the lives of indigent, low income women in her community, using entrepreneurship and education, is also an NLP and results certified coach, a Family Life practitioner and a certified Positive Psychology practitioner.

A graduate of Computer Science from the University of Calabar with an MBA from Lagos State University, Amaka Chibuzo-Obi is passionate about women development and empowerment having coached many women to fulfill their dreams. The beautiful wife and mom of three is also an event compere, having hosted many high brow events with glowing testimonials

Childhood Influence

I had an interesting life growing up. I was an only child to a woman who was mother to many. My mom was that woman who opened her doors and her heart to everyone who needed help. I saw generosity, empathy and the desire to make a difference, first hand in my mother. She died when I was just 8 years old (God keep resting her beautiful soul) So growing up, I always knew I wanted to change people’s lives for good. I had no idea how, what path I will take or what vehicle will lead me there but I just knew I was going to do something that will cause major impact in lives and in my world. Even though I battled low self-esteem and acute shyness at one point in my life, this desire to positively affect my world helped me overcome all that and keep the focus. So yes, my childhood kind of prepared me for what I do now.

Inspiration behind Wivesroundtable franchise

Like I said, I had always wanted to make a mark in my world, to positively affect lives and impact people. I just didn’t know how. I grew up watching Oprah Winfrey and loved how she used media to make a difference. I wanted to be like her. I dreamed I would one day rule the screens like Oprah. I kept that dream in the coolers as I faced the realities of life. After youth service, I came to Lagos in search of a better life. I took up a job in a media independent agency. In the years I worked there, I got married. I remember coming back from that break after the wedding to my colleagues who warmly welcomed me, especially the married ones. Shouts of “welcome to the club” filled the air. One welcome actually played a huge part in changing the trajectory of my life. A good friend (or so I thought), someone with whom I had shared so many things in confidence, walked up and after welcoming me, she said “Ehen, Amaka, now I can really talk to you. Because now you are married, you will understand me better”. This got me thinking deeply. I realized 2 very important things as I thought about this remark. (1) That married women felt more comfortable discussing with other married women on issues important to them (2) That married women didn’t have a lot of avenues to vent. So, years later, in 2011, Wivesroundtable was created. And it started as an online platform for married women to anonymously relate with one another, share their stories, experiences, concerns and challenges and get suggestions and encouragement from each other. This later morphed into the Wivesroundtable radio show which started airing every Thursday evening 8pm on 92.3 Inspiration FM Lagos in April 2013.

To further meet our objective of being an agent of positive change in the lives of women, The Wivesroundtable Foundation was born in 2019. This foundation’s objective is to empower poor and vulnerable women through entrepreneurship and financial literacy. We set them up in business and then train them for several months after, so they can learn the basic skills required to effectively and successfully run their businesses

Being a certified computer scientist, but tilting my tent in the Coaching sector

Let me be very honest with you, when I filled in “Computer science” on my JAMB form back in the day, even I knew that I wasn’t going to go on that path! I only did the sciences to prove to my father that he had an intelligent daughter. LOL. You know how it was back then with the science Vs Arts dichotomy. Because of my desire to directly and intimately affect people’s lives positively, especially women, coaching was the most logical way to go. So, after I had satisfied myself in the paid employment industry and left to start Wivesroundtable, I started empowering myself with knowledge, courses and certifications that will help me be a coach that will hold women’s hands on their way to a life of well-being

Being a certified coach, family life practitioner, Positive psychology practitioner, radio host, women’s advocate, wife and mom, and managing it all

Two words – Intentional living and Support. I tell people, women especially that I don’t claim to be super woman or super mom o. I do what I can, when I can. I prioritize per time. I don’t entertain guilt that will cause me to ignore myself and my needs in the scheme of things. I remind myself daily that, I matter too. That my goals and dreams matter. I look for, pray for and get capable hands to support me on my journey. My husband is also incredibly amazing and highly supportive. He allows me space to fly while he fans the wind beneath my sail. Every woman deserves to have support and should also be open to utilize the ones they have, so they can go for and achieve their dreams. Also, God has been super faithful and gracious. He has given me the Grace, Strength and Courage to do all these.

Wivesroundtable Radioshow

The Wivesroundtable radio show which started airing on Thursday April 11^th 2013 has aired 339 episodes as at Thursday 28^th November 2019. In this time, it reaches an approximate 180,000 people every single week in and around Lagos! The Wivesroundtable radio show has changed people’s mindset and beliefs about themselves and their relationships. We receive emails very frequently from fans of the radio show who just write in to appreciate us for the work we do. More than 15 women have gotten their fertility issues resolved from information and resources gotten on the Wivesroundtable show! Numerous marriages have been restored and businesses set on the path to success. The Wivesroundtable radio show has, in various major ways, been a catalyst for positive growth and development in the lives of numerous people.

Challenges of being a Social Entrepreneur

There are many issues facing us at Wivesroundtable, top of which is the issue of Finance. The business terrain in Nigeria is a very peculiar one. There are many jobs we do for advertisers where payment gets delayed for as much as a year! Also, financial support is a crippling challenge in our work with The Wivesroundtable Foundation. Raising funds to empower the women is a herculean task – people who wish to support usually have little means and those with the wherewithal most times ignore the call. In spite of all these challenges, we still push through because we know what our goal is and we do not desire to stop anywhere short of it.

My thoughts on Society’s perception of women who don’t conform to pressure to marry at a certain age?

The society is changing gradually but surely. We live in a society where marriage is a big deal. From when a girl is born, the prayers for her getting a good husband and beautiful children starts. So, you can imagine the shock when said girl gets to a certain age and isn’t yet married. Society kind of gets disappointed and tries to shame her into getting married. This is actually very ridiculous because marriage is just one of the very many things humans do on earth. If a woman chooses not to, it’s her life and therefore, her prerogative. I am glad that the narrative is changing. More and more people are refusing to be cowered into taking a major decision such as getting married just because society wants them to. More and more people are taking control. One thing I know is that, society will find a way to adapt as the narratives continues to change (it always does) so women should keep standing up for their rights.

Being a Woman of Rubies

My empathy, my strength, my resolve to make a positive difference and my resilience to not give up all make me a bona-fide woman of rubies!

Final word for Women, especially wives who are finding it hard to have a work life balance.

Know yourself and the dynamics of your life. Utilize every resource available to you. Remind yourself daily that you matter too. Don’t be shy or afraid to speak up and ask for help when needed, especially when speaking up has the potential to favor you. Know yourself well enough to know your path and love yourself enough to follow it doggedly.

Nuggets for singles and Married, especially the newly weds

Let me start with the singles – Realize that the person you marry has the ability to make or disrupt your journey so open your eyes wide when dating. TALK! Talk about all areas of life, so you can have an idea of how the person reasons and how he/she sees life. Ask relevant questions. Ensure that your goals and dreams are in alignment or at least, that the other person is not opposed to yours.

Then for the newlyweds, realize that the butterflies in the tummy will settle sooner or later. This doesn’t mean you have fallen out of love. It just means that the journey has started in earnest. From there on out, what will keep you both will be a firm commitment to and mutual respect of each other. See yourselves as a team – much like Arsenal and Liverpool. Teams score together, win together and celebrate together. They also lose together if they do not prepare or perform well. When you realize that it is TOGETHER not INDIVIDUAL, you will take the other person’s matter like yours and help each other be better versions of yourselves. Be kind. Be considerate. Be open. Practice effective communication. Learn it, if need be. Develop yourself inside marriage. Do not take your marriage for granted. Work on it like you do for every other thing of importance in your life. Your marriage is worth it. You are worth it.

On a last note…

I coach women how to create Balance in their lives so they can effectively play the different roles they have and still live a life of well-being and harmony. My mantra is “Creating a better world one woman at a time” (which is also the payoff line for the Wivesroundtable Foundation) and I do at least one thing every day to achieve this. It is my desire to affect the lives of women in Nigeria and beyond. Some people say “Women have so many initiatives for them. Isn’t it too much?” I always reply “It isn’t nearly enough!”

Women deserve every single initiative directed at empowering them. After centuries of being marginalized, discriminated against and belittled, women need all the help they can get to get on their feet, drag a chair and sit at the table! A world where women aren’t afraid to be and do all they want to do; is a world I dream to see. That is what I work to achieve! You can find out more about what we do at our website www.wivesroundtable.com.ng. My name is Amaka Chibuzo-Obi and I am proud to be a woman!

In Career Gems August 25, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

AISHA YESUFU COVERS GUARDIAN LIFE MAGAZINE

The co-convener of the “Bring Back Our Girls” Movement, Aisha Yesufu, known for her fearless stance on National issues, is the latest cover lady of Guardian Life Magazine as she talks about being a girl child in Northern Nigeria, feminism, religious faux, marriage and being a “BBOG” warrior.

Born in Northern Nigeria, where the female child is expected to keep mute on certain issues, little Aisha Yesufu was already breaking the rules by speaking out whenever there was injustice.

Read excerpts from her interview:

On growing up, she says:

“Even though my parents or adults were angry at me for speaking up especially when it does not favour them; when they had that need to have someone that was unbiased to look at issues, they would call me.”

“I have the gift to look at issues from both sides even when I am involved and when I am not. I am able to tell people, “okay look at it like this”. My mother would always say, ‘nobody wins in your court’, but in that same court when they want the issues to be told plainly, they would come.”

On Feminism and Marriage:

“I am very, very lazy. My parents used to say, ‘Is everything book?’ Even when my husband proposed, I told him, I am lazy and I hate housework, I hate cooking and he was ready to go with it.”

“I set systems in place to work for me. I hire and pay people to make me jobless. By the grace of God, I will never work for anybody so I have time on my hands.”

“Being brought up to expect that a man that will take of you, it was my husband that taught me to be financially independent so that I can have control over my voice and not be dependent.”

On being a Bring Back Our Girls warrior;

“Growing up, the average Nigerian was taught that you should not question elders. They grew up with how not to question authority and it went on through school. Now that they have become adults, they have used government to replace parents so they don’t question authority.”

“Fortunately, we are seeing more movements like BBOG inspire them to stay on course. They are realising that the office of the citizen is actually the highest office in the land. They are realizing that we don’t need permission from the police to protest but protection.”

“Whatever I am doing today, I am fighting for that little girl that I was that yearned for help, that begged to be helped with a textbook so that I can read and pass my exams. If I ever give up that fight, I will be giving up on myself.

In self development July 30, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

KATE HALIM: WHY WOMEN ARE CRUMBLING UNDER THE WEIGHT OF ABUSIVE MARRIAGES

It is sad that many women are crumbling under the weight of abusive and dysfunctional marriages

It is sad that these women believe this is normal. They see themselves as Messiahs that have the magic wand to make their relationships and marriages successful.

What a pity! It is a suicide mission trying to keep a relationship all by myself. You will crumble under that weight. It is not meant for you alone as a woman.

One of the lies that was sold to women many years ago was that the success and failure of their relationships or marriages was their sole duty.

Why many women are crumbling under the weight of abusive marriages

This is why we see many women crumbling under the weight of abusive and terrible marriages. They are being maltreated, yet everywhere they turn to for help, they are told to put in more effort for their marriages not to fail.

They go back home to continue enduring emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and verbal abuse. But they also wonder why their marriages are hell on earth.

Woman, you cannot do it alone. You cannot build a happy home alone. You can’t be building when your man is tearing it down with his actions. Don’t kill yourself for nothing.

It is not your job to keep a man interested in you or your relationship. He’s either making efforts to be the man you need or he’s not. You can’t force him to be who he’s not.

You don’t need to sacrifice your sanity or life for a bad relationship. You don’t even need to change yourself or stop living because of any man.

Respect yourself and demand to be respected too. All the people telling you to keep enduring a bad relationship won’t be in it with you nor suffer the consequences with you.

Live your life. You are lovable and perfect just the way you are. It’s not your fault if that man can’t see the wonderful woman that you are. Just don’t die on his behalf.

Relationships are not magic. It involves conscious efforts from both parties to make it work. Women, stop crumbling under the weight of abusive marriages. It’s not worth it.

You are just harming yourselves emotionally, psychologically and mentally. This is why many women are battling different ailments in their later life because of the effects of staying in abusive and loveless marriages.

Stop.

Source: Feminine.com.ng

In Editor's Choice June 15, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

“PEOPLE WONDER HOW I WAS ABLE TO BREAK 100 YEARS RECORD IN INDIA” – EMELIFE STELLA CHINELO AMAGBOR

Emelife Stella Chinelo Amagbor 100 years record breaking educational feat went viral few weeks ago and alot of Nigerians wanted to know more about the woman who had made the motherland proud. The story was shared across social media and on some international platforms.

The Anambra State born academia got a scholarship from of the university of Mysore, India and graduated in March 2019 with a FGPA of 9.26, and was awarded 20 gold medals during her convocation, this feat made it the first time in over 100 years where any student will be honoured that way. Little did Stella know her story was going to make rounds in the media

The Intelligent young woman who also has a bachelor degree, (BSc Applied Chemistry) ,was also awarded the best graduating student of Usmanu Danfodiyo University Sokoto in 2013/2014 academic session, graduating with CGPA of 4.86.

Stella is inspired by her hunger for knowledge and a better life for herself, she shares her inspiring story in this interview.

In her words; “My parents were not the richest but they did all they could at all times to give me and my siblings the best quality education”.

Growing up

I grew up in Sokoto state though born in Zaria, Kaduna state. I am the first of the seven children of Sir and Lady Christoper Emelife. My parents were not the richest but they did all they could at all times to give me and my siblings the best quality education available. I attended Federal Government College Sokoto from primary level to secondary level and this was by no means the best school in Sokoto at the time. All through my studies, I was outstanding. I always made the best grades which earned me several awards and scholarship. I went on to do my bachelor’s degree in applied chemistry at Usmanu Dan fodiyo University Sokoto where I also graduated as the best graduating student in 2012/2013 academic session. It was never rosy. I had difficulties and challenges especially with gaining admisssion into university. I wanted to study medicine but did not get that course for reasons I am yet to lay my hands on but all I knew was that I had the results required. I spent three years battling with JAMB UTME and POSTUTME until I eventually changed to chemistry. So I would say, yes, my childhood or my background indeed prepared me for what I do now.

Why Chemistry?

For my bachelor degree in Applied chemistry, I will tell you that I only chose to apply for it at the time because, firstly chemistry was my favourite science subject apart from Mathematics in secondary school, I would say I had a good foundation in chemistry and then secondly, I needed to apply for a course that had less traffic. By less traffic I mean, a course that did not have too many applicants just like medicine which was what I wanted to study. However, in the course of my studies, I fell in love with chemistry and decided to proceed in this field for my postgraduate studies.

100 years record breaking viral story

Yes, my story went viral after the announcement of my awards in India. I got an Indian government scholarship in 2016 to go for a master degree course in chemistry. I accepted the offer and began my master’s degree programme at University of Mysore, the course went on till July/August 2018. I returned back to Nigeria and this year 2019, I was invited to attend my convocation ceremony where I will be officially awarded my MSc Chemistry degree and along with it, I was informed that I will be receiving numerous awards as a result of my outstanding performance in the university. The university is one of the oldest universities in India and highly reputable. I was informed that in the over 100 years history of the university, no one has ever made such grades and most of all a foreigner. I made a percentage of 92.6%. Hence, the best graduating student of the university of Mysore. I went down to India in March 2019, received these numerous awards (25 awards that included 20 gold medals and 5 cash prizes) and almost all media houses in India had the news in all languages including English and eventually, Nigerian bloggers got to know and then some Nigerian news houses.

Reception

Abroad which of course is India, every single person who has come across the news is totally amazed and wonder how I was able to break such record of such university as notable as University of Mysore. More so were those present at the convocation ceremony. Even the dignitaries could not help but express how amazed they are and how proud of me they are and have since been offering to assist me in any way they can through recommendations in case I decide to take up a PhD course in India. I granted countless number of interviews both offline and online. In fact, my name has been everywhere in India especially amongst the academicians and the foreign students association in all parts of India are so proud of me and my achievement. Now, at home, yes the reception has been good amongst people who got to know about it, especially on social media. My husband, my entire family and friends, my church, my alma mater have all been so amazed at such performance. The Chemical Society of Nigeria have been so excited about the news. I have also been granting a number of interviews here and there. I am praying that apart from everyone getting excited and sending in congratulatory messages, that I will attract the attention of the federal government to at least consider me for a well-paying job here in Nigeria.

My Inspiration

I am inspired by my hunger for knowledge and a better life for myself, my family and the society at large and I believe that getting to the peak of my career in life will bring me all the happiness I seek for since at that height, I can inspire others and be make all the impacts I yearn for in the society.

Who inspires me? Firstly my parents inspire me greatly. Their determination to give us the best they can pushes me to be more and also be a great parent like they are to me and then also, I am inspired by every woman that I come across who is doing all she can to break all the conventional laws or rules that hold women back and strife hard to achieve her goals irrespective of her gender or whatever. If you ask for who my role model is, then it is Late Prof. Dora Akunyili of blessed memory. I adore her and hope to do greater than she did by the help of God.

What next?

I need a good job in the academia as a lecturer in the university or as a quality control analyst or research and development personnel in any reputable chemical industry where I can put in all my knowledge to use, develop myself and also earn a good living to take care of myself, my family and those around me that need help. I am also looking forward to getting a very good PhD scholarship to start up my research career as soon as possible.

On the long run, I have plans to work with NGOs in the education sector to be able to make my own mark in education in Nigeria.

Challenges

The greatest challenge I faced while studying in India was the cultural shock I faced. It was my first time leaving Nigeria and for the fact that it was a totally different continent made it so difficult for me at the very beginning. The food, the way of life, the language, the accent and intonations, the religion.

No one understood me when I spoke because they say they do not understand my accent. However, time changed everything. I became very used to everything that I ate virtually every food, began to speak with the Indian accent and I could understand a few of the native language hence I was able to at least communicate with the bus drivers et al. Another challenge I faced was the overwhelming academic activities and being the only foreigner in my class. I stayed in school morning till evening from Monday to Saturday, stood for at least 4 hours in the laboratory and had loads of assignments to submit within short notice and practical records to submit also. It was so intense and scary but eventually, by the Grace of God, I got used to it and made use of all facilities at my disposal, used my time judiciously and became friends with virtually all my classmates.

Giving up

In my first year if I had the financial capacity, I would have ran back to Nigeria because I was getting too overwhelmed with the work load. It was so intense and I thought, I could not just do this. I was afraid I may not survive it. Many times I will cry while in the class receiving lectures, other times in the lab I will be so lost and confused. I could no longer concentrate. However, I cried to my family most especially my husband who is a huge support system, and they all encouraged me with their kind words and prayers and eventually, I got used to everything and even did not want to go back to Nigeria, when it was time to. Hahahaha!!!

My Support System

I am happily married to Mr. John Oshiobode Amagbor who has been of tremendous support to me. We live in Warri, Delta state. Also, I am looking forward to collaborations with NGOs or bodies that propagate education in public schools especially at the basic and secondary level. I will appreciate getting connections to such agencies and organizations, I can do a volunteer work with them even when I get a paying job.

Being a woman of rubies

I believe I am a Woman of Rubies because I am very focused and zealous. I do not let my gender come in my way of achieving the greatest heights. I do not think because I am a woman in the midst of men, so I am a second class ‘citizen’. I always believe I am even better and at advantage because I am a woman. I hold my head high and raise my shadows while defending myself or any right course because I am a human first then a woman. I am fearless when discussing what I know, yet very humble to learn anything new from anyone irrespective of gender or race. I am an inspiration to my own family, my own society and soon the world. I represent womanhood everywhere I go to. Yes, I am that Woman of Rubies.

To women who want to study Chemistry

Any woman can be anything right she wants to be. There is no gain going about wearing the cap “I am a woman’ about like Mo Abudu will say. You are a human first then woman. Therefore, there is no limit to what you can achieve just like everyother man.

Chemistry is not easy, however it is by no means the most interesting physical science course and is highly interdisciplinary. Go for it, as far as you are serious minded.

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