Feminist - Women of Rubies

In Interviews&profile May 4, 2023 By Women of Rubies

Meet Adeboye Joy Oluwatoyin, Feminist and Founder Of Resilient Girl Initiative

Nigerian women are breaking boundaries, and making a difference in the world. Adeboye Joy Oluwatoyin is one of them. She is a 21-year-old feminist who has made significant contributions to Nigeria’s humanitarian and youth engagement sectors. With over five years of experience in these fields, she has demonstrated exceptional leadership through volunteering with various NGOs and her social impact campaign projects.

Career

Throughout her career, Oluwatoyin has worked with several organizations, including the Female and More African Social Impact Fellowship, LEAP Africa, Women’s Advocate and Documentation Centre, BAOBAB, Inclusive Social Welfare and Empowerment foundation, and Nigerian Child Protection Trust. Her dedication to improving the lives of women and girls led her to found the Resilient Girl Initiative, an NGO focused on empowering young girls and women.

Oluwatoyin’s partnership and engagements have helped minors, sexual abuse victims, widows, and school children in Nigeria, she has also impacted her immediate school environment through webinars that raise awareness about sexual abuse and sex trafficking.

Other activities

Aside from her humanitarian work, she possesses impeccable storytelling skills, which have been instrumental in creating a documentary on sexual abuse, her passion for volunteering, hospitality, and humanitarian activities is evident in her numerous contributions to her community and beyond.

Oluwatoyin is a young and passionate feminist who has made remarkable strides in the humanitarian and youth engagement sectors in Nigeria. Her leadership, dedication, and impact have inspired many and continue to make a difference in the lives of those she encounters.

In Editor's Choice November 30, 2020 By Women of Rubies

“My Passion For Humanity Made Me Involved In Charity”- Shulamite Eze

Shulamite Ezechi is so many things rolled in one. She is the founder and CEO of ANYISO an international NGO. She is an advocate, an author, and activist for girls and women’s rights.

She is the founder and CEO of ANYiSO a registered charity in the UK that runs multiple projects, seminars, workshops and conferences, and provides support and services for women, young people, refugees, and asylum seekers. She is passionate about women, young people, refugees and asylum seekers driven by inspiration and personal experiences. She is a feminist, an advocate and activist for women’s rights. Shulamite is an author, a community leader and a mentor to many young people, men, and women.

Shulamite through personal experiences and a passion for driving change, has served and still serves in multiple capacities in various human rights groups to make impacts through her voice. She has served as a member of the refugee women’s strategy group. She is involved in reviewing several policies affecting black and ethnic minority women and young people in Scotland, UK.

Shulamite continues to serve in various organisations amongst which are the North Glasgow community food initiative where she served as a member of the board. Shulamite is amongst the delegates for the First ministers National advisory committee on Women and Girls for Black and Ethnic Minority. She is an ambassador for Migrant Voice, UK. A member of the United Nations Association, UK, a member of Amnesty International, and a member of Friends of the Earth Scotland.

Shulamite obtained her National Certificate of Education (NCE) from Federal College of Education Technical, Umunze, Nigeria. She is licensed to teach having gained a certificate from the Teacher’s Registration Council of Nigeria (TRCN). She obtained a diploma in Community Development from the University of Glasgow, United Kingdom.Shulamite holds a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition and Dietetics, two master’s degrees; one in Clinical Nutrition and Health and the other in Policy Analysis and Global Governance both from universities in Scotland, UK.
Shulamite has won many awards including ‘the Inspiration to the BME Community award’ that was conferred to her at the Glasgow City Chambers, United Kingdom. She has been privileged to be invited to Oxford University Women leadership Symposium to deliver a talk on ‘’girl child marriage’’ and lead a group of women to UNESCO Spring School to tell their integration stories through drama.

Shulamite’s work to humanity and in community development have been published in both national and international newspapers. Shulamite is married and blessed with children.

She share her story with Esther Ijewere in this Interview

Growing up

I grew up in Nigeria with my mum and dad. I was the eldest of nine children so it was always busy at home! My dad was an entrepreneur and my mum was a midwife; she ran a maternity clinic where people could come and get treated with support and help. She was always really friendly and attentive and my family was known for its hospitality, and I try to bring that spirit into the work I do now. I think it helped to grow up in an environment where there was always lots going on; it means I don’t get easily overwhelmed which is a good thing when you’re as busy as I am!

Inspiration behind ANYiSO

My whole life I’ve seen African women face a lot of challenges and less appreciated. There seemed to be a lack of support for them, despite their growing need for support and aid, and domestic abuse on the rise without much being done about it. In Scotland, where I live, women who belong to ethnic minorities often don’t reach out for this support because they’re afraid of being discriminated against, because they’re scared of being stereotyped, but also because they sometimes lack the ability to ask for help due to language barriers and cultural differences. Being inspired, as well as having encountered difficulties myself, I was driven to make a real change in the world and to create a space where these women could safely and comfortably get the support they needed to be empowered.

The Journey so far…

It’s definitely been challenging, but it’s absolutely worth it! I started ANYiSO in my living room in 2014 and since then it’s grown more than I could have ever imagined. We’ve been busy implementing projects and raising awareness about our cause – it’s not easy gaining trust when you’re a new organisation – but we gradually built ourselves up and now we go from strength to strength. I’ve seen so many lives change for the better as a result of the work we do, and that’s rewarding. ANYISO works in partnership with local and international organisations to provide support to women and young people. We focus on strategies such as skill acquisition training, awareness building, advocacy and education. For us, education is the basis for development, so we encourage our women and young people to be educated. This we do by providing ESOL classes and creche for these women and also working in partnership with some organisations and colleges,and most of these women have gone back to school, gained employment and became entrepreneurs.

You’ve won many awards and attended a lot of leadership conferences across the globe as well as advocating for the ethnic minority community in the UK. How does it feel to lend your voice to these people and to make their issues heard?

It’s really a collective effort: I have similar cultural background and experiences to the women we support, which makes it easier to understand what they’ve been through and the challenges they’ve faced or still facing. As an advocate, I do my best to communicate how they feel, the support they need and what their journey is like to the appropriate authorities, agencies, organisation and while helping to review policies that affect them. Through the work we do with ANYiSO I see how important it is for us to keep advocating and providing support and services, so I’m happy that we have the opportunity to use our platform and voice to support those who otherwise wouldn’t be heard.

Being a mom, wife, motivational speaker, and author, amongst many other things, and managing it all

I’ll admit it’s not easy! All of my roles demand quite big time commitments. ANYiSO has grown in the last few years with multiple projects which is fantastic, but I’ve had to learn how to manage my time effectively in order to still have the time to do other things like the book i just wrote. My family is a priority so I always make sure I have time to spend with them. Having said that, I’m driven by passion and it is that passion that makes everything worth it. Seeing the progress we make empowers me and looking back, the hard work has absolutely been worth it.

My new book ‘Unveiling Your True Potential’

I’ve personally faced a lot of challenges and struggles in life, and I have seen myself doing things I never knew I could. I know where I used to be and have seen myself make progress.
When I was young I could never have imagined the things I’ve done now: I didn’t see any potential in myself. The truth is that everyone has the potential to achieve, but it’s often hidden or goes unrecognised. I wrote my book to inspire people, to motivate them to discover themselves and their potential to do the things they dream of doing. I hope that my story will help them to see that no matter what you’ve been through in life, nothing is impossible if you keep a positive mindset.

Being a feminist and my thoughts on how the world is well informed about it.

I think a lot of people today are misinformed about feminism due to the cultural practices and media coverage it gets. Feminism seems to have a bad reputation especially in African culture and people see it as a movement that lacks respect for men, idolizes women and despises men, but this isn’t at all what it means. It’s actually a movement that seeks equal rights for women and men, because women have faced (and continue to face) lots of discrimination in life and has always been seen as second class citizens. As a feminist, all I want is for us women to have the same opportunities as men and I strongly believe that more awareness on the meaning and importance of feminism are very much needed. For me, the truth is that most people, even men are feminist but unaware that they are. If as a parent you ever wanted the same opportunity, success, achievement for all your children be it male or female,then you are a feminist.

Making Impact in Nigeria

For some time now we’ve already been supporting people back home in Nigeria. We’ve provided lots of financial support and skill development training. During this COVID 19 pandemic period, we have supported a lot of people financially and also with palliatives. Some of the people we’ve supported are now able to participate in different walks of life that they wouldn’t have been able to participate in before, both in their families and also in social, and economic sectors. In the near future we’ll be expanding more our operations in Nigeria and other African countries, so watch this space.

3 women who inspire you to be better and why

I’d have to pick Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou.
They’re all incredibly strong women of colour who have overcame adversity and their ethnic minority background to make a difference in the world. Michelle Obama is graceful and carries herself with dignity – she was the first black First Lady – she demonstrates that there’s no limit to what you can attain in life. Maya Angelou went through a lot of challenges but she used her voice to send messages through her award-winning poetry, she was a true definition of making lemonade out of lemon.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I see myself as a strong woman and I recognise my own strength, tenacity and weakness. As a founder, seeing people being empowered through the work we do in ANYISO gives me inner joy and a sense of fulfillment.

The Nigerian Governement and Issues affecting Women and Children

They need to do more. Our children need to be empowered and encouraged to get an education; they need to be in the classroom instead of hawking on the streets. The government needs to support women in every walk of life, especially economically (through employment, skill acquisition and grants for business). Women education and empowerment is very important, because educated and empowered women gives birth to a developed nation

In Editor's Choice July 27, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Feminism Is Not Hatred Towards The Male Gender – Toke Makinwa

Popular Nigerian OAP and entrepreneur, Toke Makinwa in a recent tweet said that Feminism is not hatred towards the male gender.

She said this in respond to some followers who insinuated that she and Tonto Dike hates men.

Toke replied that she does not hate men, but ‘I hate patriarchy and I speak against “male privileges” ‘

She opined that feminism is speaking against patriarchy, it is inclusion and some men are in support of it.

She tweeted ;

“Know the difference and set yourself free.

Feminism is not hatred towards the male gender, I just can’t stand the male privileges that exists.

It is speaking out against patriarchy, it is inclusion and there are men who support feminism too.”

In Career Gems November 16, 2018 By Editor

CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE FEATURES ON THE COVER OF TELEGRAPH MAGAZINE

Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was featured on the cover of the October 27 issue of Telegraph Magazine, where she discussed Nigeria, misogyny, and the #MeToo movement.

Chimamanda talked about losing faith in Nigeria after her father was kidnapped in 2015, how she feels he was kidnapped because of her.

She said:

It was because of me. That incident affected my father – it robbed him of something; there’s a distrust that he didn’t have before. He comes from a generation with a certain kind of integrity. For a long time he didn’t understand things like bribery – it just perplexed him. My father had given his everything – he got his PhD in the US and he had job offers there in the 1960s, but he was keen to come back to Nigeria. It was post-independence, everyone was very enthusiastic and my father spent his life teaching. I felt that Nigeria had failed him – for a man of his age to be thrown into the boot of a car …That incident broke my heart and it’s the first time I started to seriously question Nigeria.

The cover story is up on the Telegraph website, and you can read it here.

Credit: Bella Naija

In Career Gems November 1, 2018 By Editor

CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE HONORED WITH HUMANITARIAN AWARD AT THE 2018 ACTION AGAINST HUNGER GALA

Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie attended the 2018 Action Against Hunger Gala at 583 Park Avenue on October 30, 2018, in New York City.

At the event, she was honored with the Humanitarian Award, presented by CEO of the organization, Andrea Tamburini.

Every year, hundreds of Action Against Hunger’s most dedicated supporters come together for an evening of inspiration and hope and 2018 was no different.

The special night is an opportunity to reflect upon Action Against Hunger’s mission to save the lives of children worldwide and to present their most prestigious award, The Action Against Hunger Humanitarian Award, to individuals and corporations that have significant contributions to the humanitarian field.

See photos from the event below.

NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 30: Chimamanda Adichie attends the 2018 Action Against Hunger Gala at 583 Park Avenue on October 30, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Jared Siskin/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)

NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 30: Chimamanda Adichie speaks at the 2018 Action Against Hunger Gala at 583 Park Avenue on October 30, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Jared Siskin/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)

NEW YORK, NY – OCTOBER 30: Chimamanda Adichie and Andrea Tamburini attend the 2018 Action Against Hunger Gala at 583 Park Avenue on October 30, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Jared Siskin/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)

Photo Credit: Jared Siskin/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images

Credit: Bella Naija

In Interviews&profile October 27, 2018 By Editor

#INTERVIEW | “I WANT TO USE MY BREAST BAG TO CREATE MORE AWARENESS FOR CANCER” – CHRISTINE KATO

Christine Kato is reative director and founder House of Christine Art and Designs a Nigerian based company which creates Art inspired designs. The young northern based designer was born on May 2nd 1994 in Makurdi,Nigeria; a sociology graduate of the University of Abuja,Nigeria. I

Christie is an avid writer, artist, designer, a human and animal right activist, and a feminist who uses her design for notable causes. She is presently using her bag designs to create awareness for breast cancer awareness. In commemoration of the breast cancer awareness month I bring you the inspiring story of a young woman whose breast bag initiative isn’t only helping to educate people on cancer but also advocate for more Health reforms as it relates to treatment and medical help.

Childhood Influence

I wouldn’t say I had this planned but I had a good foundation to prepare me for what I was to expect in the future; I always knew I could achieve anything I wanted as long as I put my mind to it. I was fortunate enough to have the basic things I needed to help me succeed.

Being an animal right activist

I believe animals are Gods special angels on earth; God placed them into our care for us to honour them: We lose more of our humanity when we are cruel to animals; we are the only true voices animals have; we must fight for them; we must save the animal; we must save our planet.

House Of Christine

House of Christine Art and Designs is a Nigerian based Art/Fashion company which creates unique art pieces.
Our Art designs are form of one expressing himself: an essential ingredient to empowering the hearts of people they are a remarkable way of depicting culture all over the world, they act as therapy to convey memory, hope: to remind us that we can strive to see it appreciate it and have. it self appreciating art tells stories reflection of the society garnering attention to people about causes that are otherwise ignored.

They are pure works of art so they are delicately crafted so every ornamental detail, structure and functional property matters,so as to convey the message about the inspiration of the design.All designs are the first of its kind they are all intellectual properties of house of Christine arts and designs and are subject to patents

House of Christine Art and Designs is all about creating Art that people can relate to and showcase with confidence.

Inspiration behind breast bag for Cancer

“The inspiration behind the design emanates from a feminist view: a revolution; the need to empower women to reclaim, celebrate and embrace their bodies, sexualities: to display the power of feminity: to create awareness about issues affecting women; to make feminity look fierce to celebrate womanhood.” October is breast cancer awareness month and there is no better time to celebrate the design than now!

The reception so far

There has been a lot of contention and controversy over the breast handbag design; some received it positively others negatively; some see it for what it really stands for while others have a different perspective of what it is; causing a lot of stir with attacks here and there. My staffs are also under attacks; and are told to cut ties with me.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m stubborn. I go for what I want! I fight for what I believe in! I’m an artist! I love what I do! I am unique! I am bold and daring!The more attacks I receive the more I’m motivated I am to push on.This is my world I rule it!.

Challenges

I would say an idea is just an idea until it is executed; also new ideas take sometime to be accepted but i would say what motivates me in life and my craft is the hunger to overcome a hurdle a difficulty, a problem a challenge. When I have an idea and seems so impossible to create and others think it’s weird and crazy. I keep pushing no matter how long it takes in order to actualize what I have in my imagination: ironically when the piece has been created it receives appreciation and that’s the best feeling ever. The road can very lonely but it later ends in victory learning from so many mistakes and finally creating a masterpiece. It’s such a satisfying and fulfilling feeling.

Reward

The greatest reward i have ever gotten lies in knowing that my consistency, persistence and hard work has finally paid off despite the odds; its such a fulfilling feeling knowing that I’m able to undertake any challenge and successfully achieve it.

My brand in 5 years

In 5 years, my brand would be on a global level impacting and changing lives; breaking barriers competing among top world brands.

On Giving up

A few times in few seconds but I knocked some sense right back into me; I have got the heart of a fighter; nothing ever good comes easy and if it did it wouldn’t be cherished as much as if one worked hard for it; I see every problem as a new opportunity to make positive impact.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I’m strong, passionate, bold and daring powerful beautiful woman! I’m a trendsetter, I break the norms; I set the trend! I’m a woman of substance.

Advice to women battling with breast cancer

Women should see themselves for the magnificent beings they have been created to be; they must tap into their potentials and transform it in power; they must learn to embrace their true uniqueness and love themselves; chase their dreams and soar high! For those battling with Cancer, please don’t give up the fight.

In Editor's Choice October 20, 2018 By Editor

CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE EXPLAINS WHY SHE IS ‘ANGRIER’ ABOUT SEXISM THAN RACISM

Chimamanda Adichie was a guest at the Esquire Townhouse, United Kingdom where she talked about racism and sexism. She revealed that she feels more comfortable talking about racism than sexism.

The author in a chat with Esquire’s Editor-In-Chief Alex Bilmes explains when her host said, “You say that you are angrier about sexism than you are about racism.”

She mentioned that having to give obvious reasons why women are disadvantaged can be a bit of a stress.

But she does not get this reaction when talking about racism.

“I said that because in my very own personal space, the people I love, the people I’m close to, my family, my friends, all get race. So, I have never with them have to make a case, for why something was racist.

“So, I’m in my circle of friends, White people, Black people, Asian people, Hispanic people and when something happens to do with Blackness, immediately, we all get it.

“But with gender, I find that with the people I love, I’m constantly being expected to make the case, the ways in which, women are reduced, the ways in which authority in women is judged much more different than authority in a man.

“And I’m constantly being asked by the people, I love. So, I’m not talking about anonymous people, to make that case and it gets emotionally exhausting.

“Because, I don’t feel like I have the kind of effortless support that I have, when I talk about race.”

In Career Gems October 10, 2018 By Editor

“WOMEN ARE STILL INVISIBLE. THEIR STORIES ARE STILL REALLY NOT HEARD” -CHIMAMANDA ADICHIE

“All over the world today women are speaking up. Their stories are still not really heard,” Adichie said at the opening of the world’s biggest publishing event.

“Women are still invisible. Women’s experiences are still invisible.”

A year after the #MeToo movement went viral and sparked up a global discussion about sexual harassment, Adichie said there was much work left to be done.

“It is time for us to pay more than lip service to the fact that women’s stories are for everyone,”

“We know from studies that women read books by men and women. But men read books by men. It is time for men to read women.”

In a thinly veiled reference to US judge Brett Kavanaugh’s controversial confirmation to the Supreme Court despite accusations of sexual misconduct, Adichie slammed the tendency not to believe victims of such assaults.

“We seem to live in a world where many people believe large numbers of women can simply wake up one day and make up stories about having been assaulted,” Adichie said.

“I know many women who want to be famous. I don’t know one single woman who wants to be famous for having been assaulted.”

Adichie, who divides her time between the United States and Nigeria, said now was an “urgent” moment to stand up for what is right — particularly in President Donald Trump’s America.

“The world is shifting, it’s changing. It’s darkening,” the 41-year-old said.

“The most powerful country in the world today feels like a feudal court, full of intrigues feeding on mendacity, drowning in its own hubris.

“We must know what is true. We must say what is true. And we must call a lie a lie.”

In lifestyle April 25, 2017 By Editor

ENITA AKPOJEVWE: WHY I AM A FEMINIST IN NIGERIA

Recently, award-winning author and feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in an interview with the UK Guardian came out to say that she would be more successful in Nigeria if she is not a feminist.

“Feminism is not that hot. I can tell you I would sell more books in Nigeria if I stopped and said I’m no longer a feminist. I would have a stronger following, I would make more money” she said.

She is spot on in this case. Feminism in Nigeria is an endangered movement or belief; it is associated with so much bile, prejudice and stigmatisation. You are either ascribed to one or more of the following stereotypes; man-haters, angry nasty women, pro-abortionists, homosexual or pseudo homosexual, unmarried or a career woman, anti-motherhood ,an atheist, unbeliever, a bad wife or an amoral woman. . .

A little over a year ago, Senator Biodun Olujimi sponsored a bill to seek redress on gender parity issues which purpose was to permit women to have equal rights with men in marriages, education, property rights and employment etc. As we all know it was met with strong opposition based on cultural, political and religious colourations.

Is this the right way to swing? I leave that to your judgement.
According to the World Bank in 2015, the women population in Nigeria stood at 49.07%. Yes, almost half of our population are women; and the sad reality is that large factions of these women are handicapped socially, medically, politically and economically. Factually speaking, we should highlight and enforce women rights in our country if we truly seek redress on our economic productivity, improved sustainable development. We should ensure that our policies are more representative for a more holistic effect in the society. Are we deliberately going to leave this faction of our populace undervalued, defenceless, faceless, unemployable and underpowered? In which case they are more vulnerable to abuse, poverty, health issues and even death.

Nigeria is a signatory to the Maputo Protocol otherwise known as The Protocol to the African Charter on Human and Peoples Rights on the Rights of Women in Africa. This guarantees comprehensive rights to women and propagates gender parity in core areas which would further empower the African woman. This seeks to address pertinent challenges affecting the girl child and women in Africa, which have been relegated to the background for too long. It has consequently hindered the growth and empowerment of these women. In so many ways, their dreams are caught short as soon as the doctors declare their sex in the labour room.

These issues such as child marriage/early marriage, domestic violence, female genital mutilation (FGM), stigmatisation, gender pay gap, rape culture, marginalization of all forms, denial of property rights and inheritance, etc. are familiar occurrences in our society which affects girls and women. They fight these battles silently and the least that we could do is empathize, commiserate and sensitize these issues. But alas, our silence is just another web in the tangling and vicious cycle.

According to Wikipedia, feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define and advance political, economic, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

What it means to be a feminist in Iceland or Rwanda which are of the world’s best countries in terms of gender equality, is very different from what it means to be a feminist in Semen, Syria of even Nigeria. This is why feminism is a relative concept and a ready tool which could be used to advocate and propagate women rights that we require in our society – to enable women to assume their full potential and prospects.

It would be truly amiss for me as a typical Nigerian not to highlight the religious/ cultural angle that casts a shadow on the propagation of women rights in our country. Religion and cultural norms play a huge role on our stance on so many issues, as such most antagonists usually use this premise to expound why women rights should not be enforced or just given the cursory lip service. But then should this be a justification to hamper our development? Especially as it can be clearly seen that the lack of / enforcement of such rights are detrimental to our women and future generations yet unborn.

It’s truly amusing when certain individuals try to besmirch women rights and associate the affiliation of such rights to the breakdown of nuclear family, home values and the dynamics of marriage in general. It is perceived as a threat to the stability and dynamics of the family.

I would argue that this would in fact create a more stable, well balanced homestead; in most heterosexual societies women are wives, homemakers, mothers, breadwinners etc, whose roles in building the future and society cannot be overstated. So in that vein, why shouldn’t they be empowered in all spheres of life according to their capacities and abilities instead of the norm of limiting the scope of what they can even dream about?
I ask again why not?

So when people ask me why I am a feminist in Nigeria. These are my reasons as stated above and so much more. I simply choose not to be silent. I am a Christian first, a feminist second and both at the same time. (I will elucidate on this in another article.)

I stand with women rights. What about you?

Source: Bellanaija

In Interviews&profile March 8, 2017 By Editor

#PROFILE | MEET IHEOMA OBIBI THE FEMINIST LEADING BEDROOM REVOLUTION IN NIGERIA

Iheoma Obibi is the founder of Nigerian Feminist Forum, she regularly acts as a Trainer and Facilitator and has worked as a consultant for several international agencies including UN Women, British Council, OECD, DfID and the Commonwealth Secretariat.In 2005, Iheoma was elected onto the ASHOKA Fellows network serving for three years. Iheoma has published short stories in several online e-zines and anthologies including “African Women Writing Resistance: An Anthology of Contemporary Voices” and “Pastor Saul Bottomsup” in the publication “An Anthology of Great Writing Volume 1”

Iheoma has a BA in Third World Studies and African Women from the University of East London and an MA with Distinction in Communications Policy Studies from City University, London .

Consequently, many women live the best part of their lives not being satisfied sexually. They complain silently that the world of the bedroom belongs to just men: They satisfy themselves alone. There’s little room for creativity—some men still stick to the rigid, antiquated way of sexual intercourse. In sum, some, if not many women are not sexually gratified but they are quiet about it.

However, Iheoma Obibi isn’t quiet.

“Part of the problem we have is that women are too shy about negotiating their sexual pleasures. What we are told is you have to save yourself for your marriage and be a virgin. When you marry you’re there to satisfy your husband” she told the BBC’s Bola Mosuru in an interview.

But this has not always been the case for women. After working with African women and as a feminist, as a sexual health and well-being in Africa, she observed that most women are not sexually satisfied. She also observed that most of them are too quiet about it, yet they are doing something, secretly: Some of her friends will ask her to buy sex toys on her annual trips to London.

She saw a target market, a lacuna not yet explored in a conservative and religious society like Nigeria.

“I worked with development international organization, so that gave me the opportunity to attend sexual health and sexual right workshops. I learnt about my own body and about what affects us in the socialization process as women. I knew I had a market or they (women) just wanted someone to educate them.”

Then, in 2010, she latched on the opportunity and established the country’s first retailer of sexual health products and erotica, Intimate Pleasures Desires of the Heart’ which offers a total package, from online sex toy shop to preparing bridal hampers for bridal showers, and one-on-one counseling sessions.

Explaining her reason for going into such venture, she said: “Our society is complex when it comes to sex. There are a lot of un-spoken and hidden things that take place. Yet the environment is extremely judgmental and the lure of the title “Mrs.” is stronger than ever. Due to pressure from family, friends, age, networks and faith institutions, women are entering marriages for the wrong reasons, making many compromises.”

Expectedly, the worst happened: series of life threats started trickling from every tom, dick and harry, alleging that her business was corrupting women and teaching them to be prostitutes.

However, poised to achieve her dream, she was not perturbed.

Having survived domestic violence as a child, she naturally grew passionate about advocating for women’s rights. She uses her writing skills to voice out about the challenges of women in the society and advocate on behalf of women who are too frightened to voice out their concerns in a complex society like Nigeria.

Aside from being the CEO of “Intimate Pleasures Desires of the Heart”- Nigeria’s first online sex shop catering for women specifically in Nigeria, she also holds regular online sex discussion via #Sextalk. She makes radio appearances often with the name ‘Madam Butterfly’ which she uses to help orient women and men sexually.

Enter the place: Nigeria’s first online sex-aid shop

My intimate pleasure is the name of Iheoma Obibi online shop, and www [dot]myintimatepleasureshop[dot]com is just a click away.

I visited the website.

From the displays of dildos, vibrators in slides on the home screen, to male sex toys and female nipple toys—everything on the website depicts nothing but revolution in the way sexual issues are seen and addressed in Nigeria. You can also call it website of pleasures where penis enhancement products, fetish fantasy mini silk rope, male sex toys, books on sex positions guide are ordered.

Just as you place order for products or goods on Jumia or konga, you can also place an order for any sex toy online. How will they deliver since in online? You may ask.

Once you place your order online, the product will be delivered within three working days in Lagos at the rate of #1,000, while outside Lagos is #5,000.

Recounting the success of the venture, Obibi said: “It makes me glad that my business idea has allowed for women – single or coupled up – to begin to address issues around intimacy, sexual fulfilment, lust and love.

“In fact, I have had to engage a counselor because some women will call the order line and burst into tears. There’s very little opportunity for women to discuss issues of intimacy, sexual fulfilment or even address previous history if they have been survivors of sexual abuse or rape in Nigeria.”

Source : Ynaija.com