womenofrubies Archives

In Interviews&profile August 24, 2025 By Esther Ijewere

Toke Makinwa on Healing, Purpose, and Her Journey “On Becoming”

Toke Makinwa is one of the most popular media personalities in Nigeria. She recently became an author with the unveiling of her new book “On Becoming”, in which she shares her story and pain to inspire women who have gone or are going through similar situations.

Penning the book was informed by her decision to document some of the personal losses she has suffered over the years and how she successfully made it through the most difficult time of her life.

In this exclusive interview with Esther Ijewere, Toke reveals why she wrote the book and her aspirations.

Childhood Influence

I like to think that we are the sum of all our experiences and the past definitely is the bedrock which the future is born. So, yes I will say my childhood played a vital role in the woman that I am Becoming. I learnt independence at a very young age, I watched things quickly change with the loss of both my parents at a very tender age, I became very aware quickly of how things can quickly change and not until recently did I realise that I held on to the familiar and feared change and change should be embraced not feared. In the book “On Becoming”, I share my journey to overcoming that fear.

Inspiration behind the book

It is important to tell your story or else the world will tell it for you. There was a lot of mystery around the Toke Makinwa brand and last year I had my life thrown into a storm that shook my very core. My journey to healing and getting my life back in order was not an easy one, In my pain, I found purpose and the message of “On Becoming” was conceived. My faith was questioned but looking back now I see that it has all worked out the way God ordained that it would.

In the fire I had a peace I could not explain and that could only come from God, I knew somehow that there was a message in all of the mess and when the word came to write a book, I was weary, confused, unsure, scared but I thought about the million and one women out there and men who are currently or at some point have dealt with a setback of some sort and it made me feel like i had a mission to spread the word, to share their pain and make see reason to get up and fight the urge to give up! It is very easyto let go, there is a lot of pain in the world today we need more successful stories of survival to encourage everyone who reads ‘On Becoming’.

Marital challenge as a propeller

The thought of writing a book never crossed my mind, I wish I could take credit for it all but a book was the last thing on my mind. I thought maybe when I am old and about to retire, I didn’t think my life was interesting enough. At the start of every year I usually talk to God about the past year and my plans in the New Year and in 2015 it was no different. I heard the word to write a book but I quickly dismissed it.

I would meet people who would mention the idea of a book and I knew it was no coincidence. It would make me toy with the idea but I wasn’t sure still what the idea was and then June came and everything changed. While i was trying to find my way out of the murky waters, writing became a way out and I would document how I felt everyday. On Becoming was a message from God and sometimes all has to fall apart so things could come together again so beautifully, so it had to happen.

Every woman deserves to “Become”

I think every woman who reads On Becoming will have different emotions at different times. It is honest, it discusses so many things that we do not talk enough about and It is my belief that women need to speak more. To share more, It is my hope that anyone who reads the book will have the courage to Become and that is why the title is open “On Becoming……’ I want people to fill in what they are becoming after they read the book.

Nervous while writing

Writers block, there were times I just didn’t know how I felt and I would leave the project to nurse myself and get back into it again. I went through a lot of emotion, it was as if I was reliving certain events and it was difficult. I was also nervous about sharing intimate parts of my life but that was quickly replaced with the purpose I felt beat through my heart. It had to be done. I want people to read the book “On Becoming” and know that its ok whatever way life has dealt with you.

Giving up

Yes, I had a lot of moments where I felt like running away but something inside of me kept pushing me. They say where God leads he provides, even when we encountered so many hiccups, God showed up all the time. It became clearer as we progressed and at some point fear turned into excitement. The book is going to change lives and It is not because I wrote it, well….Maybe, but in all honesty, it will leave you determined to make the changes that you need to, it will also bring healing and closure and it will help anyone on a journey to discover themselves

Being an Author

I’m only just getting comfortable with my new status as an Author, I am excited and also ready to fill in the big shoes. To whom much is given, so much more is also expected so I am looking forward to becoming a bigger brand, I like how I am doing so many things and they flow into themselves. I cannot wait for the world to see the major plans we are working on.

Do women really support other women?

To be candid, we have come a long way but there is still so much to be done. We can tolerate each other less and love more. Support more, be a source of inspiration to another woman today, look out for her, share her pain and rejoice in her joys. The Book “On Becoming” shares some insight on this particular issue

Toke Makinwa On Becoming — Toke Makinwa, Author- Becoming

Rising above Controversies

When you find your purpose, you are pretty determined to pursue it like your life depends on it and on that journey, it is a special journey (walking in purpose), you drown out the noise and stay focused on becoming more. I am so passionate about my platform and how It can inspire a lot of people out there, I don’t dwell on the negativity. It comes with the territory so I don’t lose sleep over it.

The Movement “On Becoming”

Every woman should get ready for some honesty, I shared to encourage you to also get the courage to speak up, I hope the book encourages you to take a chance. The movement of ‘On Becoming’ is only just beginning, 2017 is looking like a very busy year already and I am ready. The 6 months tour will take ‘On Becoming’ to different countries and I cannot wait to meet so many people and hear their stories too.

In tolaspeaks September 13, 2016 By Esther Ijewere

#TOLASPEAKS : BY THE WAY….

With so much enthusiasm, I listened on. The recruiter profiled the job and how I was well suited for the role. How the hiring manager profiled me and how I was a good fit for the company. A couple more minutes and the tone change……By the way.

His ‘by the way’, heralded a deeper tone, a more serious one, very affirmative and concise and suggestive of something serious.

I pressed my phone closer to my ear, it was a ‘but’ situation, but in a different kind of way. He continued on how they company was desirous of more growth, a notch higher on skill set and some fundamentals which they were looking out for. How as usual most candidates feel they meet all the criteria but someone else had a more relevant strength or experience. The conversation was coming to an end. This time more negative than it had started, tones dropped, pitch lowered, It landed roughly, maybe he didn’t know how to say it, maybe it was suggestive, it just wasn’t quite clear.

This situation plays out often within the recruiter and the candidate. If a recruiter has decided to give feedback, it needs to be given quickly so the candidate doesn’t keep hanging on. Or the awkward feeling of simply hoping the candidate gets the message when they don’t hear anything back from the recruiter.

An important part of the recruitment and selection process is the opportunity for applicants to have good quality, constructive feedback following interviews. However, feedback is rarely given, partly because organizations fear legal risk or because they do not know how best to convey it. However, it’s highly important to share feedback after an interview especially when the candidate has gotten to the final selection process.

I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED AT 7, TOOK 25 YEARS TO OPEN UP – BUKOOA AFOLABI OGUNYEYE

Bukola Afolabi Ogunyeye is the Executive Director and Founder of Morna International Children’s Foundation (MICF). She studied Marketing at the Federal Polytechnic Ilaro, Ogun State. She also has a Master’s degree from the University Of Calabar. A Child’s Rights activist, and member of National Children’s Advocacy Centre Huntsville, USA, she was sexually abused at the age of seven by a family friend, but she only broke silence after 25 years. Bukola shares with us her life experiences, tale of survival and the inspiration behind her initiative.

Childhood
I was sexually abused at age seven. I remember vividly how a man (known to my family), who couldn’t have been less than 40 years called me into his office, made me sit on his laps and he fingered me. I was so scared and ashamed. I remember asking him to let me go. Then he stood, walked towards the door to his office and told me he would shut the door and I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I stood there very afraid, but he eventually let me go. I never told anyone what he tried to do to me. I remember it took me about 25 years before I could talk about it to a very close friend.

Touching a child’s private part(s) is sexual abuse. It is not only when penetration happened that we say a child has been sexually abused. Nobody has the right to touch a child’s private parts. They are private to a child. I also started touching myself afterwards into adulthood. It was later I discovered that the childhood experience was responsible for it.

All about me

I am Bukola Afolabi Ogunyeye, the Executive Director and Founder of (MICF). I am a native of Ibonwon in Eredo local government area of Lagos State. I’m a businesswoman, an author and was formerly a banker. I also have a passion for women issues, which has been there since my childhood. It’s so obvious that women are being maligned in this part of the world; hence I am an advocate of gender equality. My hobbies are reading and listening to music. My best food is rice and plantain.

Inspiration behind Morna International Children’s Foundation
I have always wanted to work with children, orphans and destitute. I never knew I would start, when I did, as I thought I would wait till I was well advanced in age. But as fate would have it, I started earlier than planned. I believe for a better Nigeria and the world at large, we must focus on children. My vision is to build a world, where children are respected and protected from any form of abuse.

Project and activities

Two years ago, Morna International Children’s Foundation (MICF) got its certificate of incorporation from Corporate Affairs Commission of Federal Republic of Nigeria. In the past two years, we have reached out to over 60 nursery, primary and secondary schools within and outside our community. We have also attended numerous P.T.A meetings, where we talked to parents on prevention of Child Sexual Abuse.

We take our campaigns to churches, as well as Arabic schools and are actively engrossed in rallies to further spread our message on child abuse. We also tell children about their rights. We empower them with the knowledge of their fundamental human rights. We have participated in international programmes, such as International Day of the girl-child, 19 days of Activism towards World Day for prevention of Child Abuse. The Child Abuse awareness month, which is April, has taken us to the market community for our campaign

War against Child Abuse
This is a project, which we just want to start. We want to start a quarterly aggressive campaign against Child Abuse in our community, beyond which we will spread across every state in Nigeria.

Never felt like giving up
I have never felt like giving up. This is because, when I set out to do something, I keep going, no matter what. I hardly get discouraged over anything; talk less of something I have a passion for. Whatever I get discouraged at, there is most likely no other way out of such a thing. I can never give up on this cause. However, I make sure I do away with negative people, who try to discourage me directly or indirectly.

Positive feedbacks
This question is very difficult for me to answer because this work is more about giving and not expecting any form of reward. I mean that you are not focused on reward, but the work. However, I can say that my reward comes in the form of encouragement and positive words. I also receive phone calls from people I don’t know, thanking me tremendously for the campaigns we do in schools, and rallies. In other words, whenever I get feedback, most especially from people I don’t know or people that recognise me from events, where I spoke and I hear their remarks, I am always encouraged. These kinds of reactions are priceless to me. These are what I consider my reward.

Lack of funds and passionate people
Lack of fund is a major challenge I am facing in this work. It can exterminate one’s vision, no matter how passionate you are about your cause. NGOs are not intended for profit making, yet you must spend money on programmes and you also pay volunteers some stipend. You pay for office space and bills attached. You pay for running costs. You just can’t do without money.

Another challenge I am facing is getting passionate people, who are ready to work without money as their focus. We know we must pay our staff and volunteers, but that should not be their motivation.

Determination
My advice to anyone wanting to go into any form of business or humanitarian work is that they should follow their passion vigorously and be determined to succeed and add value. Determination is very crucial in whatever one wants to do. Without determination, you will get discouraged easily. Be determined and make a difference! An Entrepreneur must also be ready to go the “extra mile” for his or her clients.

An exceptional woman of rubies
I am a very zealous woman, strong-minded, a go-getter and very focused. I’m a high-flier and I work self-sacrificingly. I can accomplish anything I want to. I believe I can do what has been established as impossible! I also try to be a motivator to other people, young and adults. I am someone, who concentrates on the positive side of people.

In lifestyle July 4, 2016 By Esther Ijewere

OLUWASEYI EFUNTOYE : ABUJA DRIVER DILEMMA

’Stupid man, e be like say you don craze for head there!’’

‘’No, na your papa own this road abi. Na why you dey do anyhow. No be your fault. Wakaa!!!’’

These were the likely regular conversations I hear in public transport. I, not being so knowledgeable in driving couldn’t just see the justification in exchanging words on the road. I ask myself, ‘’Where are your manners, oh ye son of man?’’

Well, soon enough, I got to share in these little road dramas as I experienced them in 3D. I mean, I have always itched to drive. The multiple knocks and shouting ontop of my head during the driving lessons from my beloveth elder brother were not discouraging enough to have me back down driving.

You must be thinking driving in Abuja is some easy-peasy akara and bread task. Wrong! You see, this City, Abuja probably has the most notorious and last nerve breaking set of careless motorists. No day passes by without meeting at least one of them on the roads.

So, I’ve decided to group the type of drivers I’ve encountered in Abuja. You can include your experience(s) without limiting to Abuja.

Double-gamers‘’I’m waking up this morning to annoy impending drivers and ensure they tail behind me,’’ are the likely words they say to themselves with a huge smirk. This driver loves to drive between two lanes so they can easily bend to the favourable lane when need arises. No amount of honks deter this guy from spreading his car wheels between two lanes because he loves to see people riled up.

I also call them cheats and indecisive motorists.

Elephants/Honkers

These are road bullies. They’ll ensure you get confused on the road, ram somehow into the vehicle before you or just fall into a ditch. They can see clearly there’s a traffic light stop or you’re held up by some factors but continue to honk into your ears incessantly as though you love to breathe in Abuja air, watch pedestrians and vehicles pass by.

You-must-notice-my-hallogen-lights

*sigh. Kilode, na only you waka come?
I’m still trying to understand why drivers flash their headlamps at other drivers during day or night. These ones will almost blind you at night. To show effectiveness of their headlamps? No? To bring attention to the model of their cars? No? To overtake? Whatever happened to honking once?

Smarty Pants

Ah! These ones think other motorists are dumb and unnecessarily slow. They’re brothers to the Elephants. They lack patience to simply follow road instructions. They beat traffic, shont queues and prove rights over obvious road offences. Sometimes, I wish Abuja would incorporate its’ own road enforcement Agencies like LAWMA, LASTMA and the likes. Imagine being unsafe on one-way roads. As a driver, you’ll be forced to look sideways before driving into a one-way road. Yeah, that happens a lot in Abuja.

Assumptious Amys

NO, SISTER, I DO NOT KNOW THAT. YOUR INDICATORS ARE NOT THERE FOR FANCY! USE THEM!
‘’Oh! You should know without indications that I’m driving to the left’’.
These kinds assume motorists are mind-readers. They think you’re Gaius who’s capable of foreseeing their next actions on the road. They don’t indicate their directions. They swerve and delve into the roads as they desire.

Confused Cornels

Some of them are frustrated from home, work etc., and transfer the frustration on you who had a great day at work, only to get you frustrated as well, then you transfer to someone else. This becomes ‘’cycle of frustration’’. This is the reason FRSC advises to leave the car if one isn’t in the good state of mind. They are closely related to the angry birds. They yell and scream on the roads at the slightest opportunity.
You see, these ones indicate out of the goodness of their hearts. But when indicate wrongly, thereby, misleading the forthcoming vehicles. They indicate and drive the opposite direction. They indicate left but drive to the right. Common!

Angry Birds

Sorry, but you’re not Jesus to bow at the mention of your name. Thank you.
They’re easily the ‘’do-you-know-who-I-am’’ drivers who at the slightest road block or car scratch, let you know their status in the society to threaten and make you shiver at the mention of names.
This driver is the offspring of Confused Cornels. They’re naturally aggressive. Abusive words are liberal on their lips. In fact, being sane is much of a luxury to them. They own the road and see it as an inheritance from their fathers. You dare not try to drive between them because it just might land you some hot rounds of insults you never planned to have. They are drama kings and Queens who draw scenes to themselves.

Slow and steady

Au re voir!
Have you been involved in any road drama? How well did you handle it? Do remember to include your classification if not encapsulated.
Another lesson is being patient. Patient to give way to the on-coming ‘’superman’’ driver who has probably signed his death wish hours before. The most I do to them is to give some deadly stares to proof a point or mutter silly inaudible words within the confinement of my vehicle. Mans cannot afford to be waylaid on the journey home.
Nonetheless, driving here is somewhat interesting. I get to laugh at two confused adults, who struggle to overtake each other. I have also managed to pick a few lesson from motorists. One of the lesson is the ability to control/restrain myself from dishing insults to in-cautious drivers. After all, we all have our excesses on the road.
I hear the best way to drive is thinking you’re the only sane driver. Perhaps, if everyone had that thought, we’ll all be weary of other insane drivers and mitigate the high rates of road accidents.
They believe slow and steady wins the race. Lewis Hamilton might probably help with that belief.
These ones are sloths in human form. They’re not learners but are extremely slow in driving. They delay other drivers and almost cause a long trail of traffic. Why stay on the fast lane since driving is your leisure or hobby edakun?

By: Oluwaseyi Efuntoye

Email : sefuntoye@gmail.com

Instagram : @seyyi_

In Interviews&profile June 14, 2016 By Esther Ijewere

#INTERVIEW | DR FOYEKEMI IKYAATOR: A 31 YEARS OLD SAVINGS LIVES IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM

It’s not every day you find a 31 years old doing something great with her life.Dr Foye surely belongs to this league. She opened a stand-alone emergency room in northwest Houston recently. Foye, a graduate of University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health is a Nigerian native, raised in the States and was groomed to care for the physical well-being of people. In this interview she opens up on what led her establish Life Savers Emergency

The beginning

I was raised in a education driven home. My father is a professor of veterinary medicine and also has a master’s in public health. He raised us to always value and respect the power of getting an education. I am so grateful for my parents who encouraged us to reach our full potential. Due to my parent’s encouragement, we were able to enroll in educational science programs each summer during middle school and high school. One of the coolest programs I was involved in was at the NASA institute during the summer preceding 9th grade, where I learned how to grow plants and vegetables using water and nutrients infused in the water. This technology is being used daily by astronauts to survive in space. Experiences like this grew my interest in science in general. My mother was also a nurse and worked in the Emergency Room. I had the opportunity to volunteer at the hospital a few times.

Moving from Ibadan to the U.S

I was born in Ibadan and moved to the U.S at the age of eight. I lived in Tuskegee, Alabama for a year and then we moved to Auburn, Alabama for about 5 years. We later moved to Atlanta. My father worked as a microbiology professor at Tuskegee and while my mother worked in a grocery store, the donut department precisely while she was in nursing school. She was working as an accountant in Nigeria but transitioned into the nursing field upon moving here. I remember how she would sit next to the heating vent and study after a long day at work. When you see your parents work hard like I did, you have no excuse for not doing your best and help your own family. I was fortunate enough to earn a full academic scholarship to the University of Georgia for my bachelor’s degree as well as a full scholarship to the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health where I earned my doctorate in medicine. I was determined to hit the ground running once I graduated.I am married to my best friend, Orseer Ikyaator and we have a beautiful son named Israel.

The birth of Life Savers Emergency

Life Savers Emergency Room was created to meet the medical needs of Houston. We are a Free Standing Emergency Room, meaning we are not attached to a hospital. I enjoy Emergency Medicine tremendously and at Life Savers ER, we are able to provide the same ER care much more efficiently than at the hospital because we have an onsite laboratory, radiology equipment and pharmacy. There is no waiting in line for your labs to get sent or processed. Nor is there the risk of waiting in the waiting- room for 3 hours to be seen by a doctor. We do not share our equipment with the ICU and medical floor so results are processed much faster than at the hospital. Patients have access to their results upon leaving the facility and we are able to get patients in and out within 1hr on average. Patients absolutely love the service we provide. We meet and exceed their expectations by not only addressing what brought them in, but also really taking the time to assess their current state of health and provide tips on how to stay healthy.

Bringing Life Savers Emergency to Nigeria

I am a proud Nigerian born woman and would love nothing more than to be able to take this service to Nigeria. During my residency training, I was able to spend some time in the Accident and Emergency Department of Lagos State University Teaching Hospital. This was an eye opening experience for me and gave me good understanding of the level of care available in the ER, medical and surgical ward.

The residents I worked with during my stay were amazing and very eager to learn and implement the strategies and practices we use in emergency care. However, the infrastructure needed must be in place for this to work. For example, doing CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation) a patient does not end when the patient regains a pulse. The patient needs to be placed on a ventilator and will need ICU care. This infrastructure is the first step that would need to be in place for an ER to function. The Intensive Care Unit is the destination for most patients who have had a near death experience such as a cardiac arrest, heart attack or stroke. I think there are a lot of challenges now within the basic healthcare infrastructure that have to be addressed in order for these services to be readily available.

Giving up

Like any human being, we are all faced with challenges. I believe in God and His word. His word promises us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Yes, I have felt like giving up in the past, but God has always come through on my behalf.

Being able to strike a balance

I have a supportive husband and a wonderful family. We take the time out to spend with ourselves and our God. We work hard with the understanding that the seeds we are sowing will germinate and produce a great harvest.

What keeps me going

At the end of the day, a simple thank you is always gratifying. I don’t need an award for what I do. Every day, I get to help people and make them smile. I put 100% of my skills into use for each patient and I believe they see this and are grateful.

Becoming a Woman of Rubies

I believe that we as women have a great responsibility of producing the next generation while serving as role models to our society and children. It is not good enough to have a wealth of knowledge or money and not impact those around you positively. I was raised in the midst of strong women who made great sacrifices for their families and community. A woman of rubies represents in my opinion, someone who knows the value of hard work who passes down the knowledge and privilege they have attained. I believe my embracing and daily practice of these values is what makes me a woman of rubies.

In Interviews&profile June 13, 2016 By Esther Ijewere

#INTERVIEW | I FELT LIKE GIVING UP SEVERAL TIMES-IFEOMA ADIBE FOUNDER AND EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, AYECI AFRICA

Says:”I have spent 8 years of my life working to make a difference in the lives of women and youths”

AYECI Africa is a non-profit organization on a mission to improve the prospects and living conditions of the most disadvantaged population in Africa, through a variety of interventions that expands access to education and employment opportunities. The founder, Ifeoma Adibe, didn’t set out to become all these. She loathed the idea of becoming a Polytechnic student because of the discrimination that exists between universities and polytechnics.She channeled her frustration into establishing ASPIRE , a student empowerment initiative. In this chat she talks about being tempted to give up, her eureka moment why she created AYECI and other issues.

Early childhood dream

Growing up as a young girl I recall nursing the ambition to one day becomes a beauty queen. I’ve always been fascinated by the world of beauty pageants, not solely because of the pageantry and glamour but I was drawn and inspired by the way beauty queens used their platform to address social issues and help those in need. Year after Year I remember keeping a journal of the reign several beauty queens and a portfolio of the social projects they were involved in. As a teenager, this experience helped me develop a strong sense of devotion for charitable work and fostered my interest to be part of the process of bringing hope and improving the quality of lives for those in need.

Today, I am a social entrepreneur, an advocate for women and child’s right . I may not be your regular beauty queen but I’m living out the ambition I nursed to help people in need become better.

In self development May 12, 2016 By Esther Ijewere

BOLANLE ARIJENILEOLA : LESSONS FROM JENIFA’S DIARY

My love for Funke Akindele really knows no bound since the ‘Jenifa’s diary’ has found its way to our screen,tabs,phones and laptops giving us reasons to forget Nigeria’s economic recession while it last. And yes! The mimics too, its trending.

But beyond the comedy is a bundle of life lessons. The theme song about Jenifa as a go-getter and her willingness to be at her best, of course beyond the gender borders,financial or social disability is a reason to succeed. Be your best overcome hurdles, set a path to tread for younger women and let your success be a force to motivate other women.

Woman! Thou art loosed! How many times you have failed isn’t an excuse not to try again. Always see a reason to succeed amidst pointers of failure.Be your own Jenifa! Make mistakes,learn from them and set the records straight for good.

And Kudos to Funke Akindele, you’ve done well ma’am.

With Love As Usual,

Bolanle

Are you bothered about women that has broken your desired record? Not to worry, do your best and you will shine as you and not them. Believe in yourself and Success will be your companion.

In Interviews&profile January 27, 2016 By Women of Rubies

I USE PROFITS MADE FROM FISH-SELLING TO SPONSOR MY CHILDREN’S EDUCATION-MRS EUNICE GODWIN, FISH -SELLER

A true mother is one who sacrifices for her children, a caregiver who does whatever it takes to put a smile on the faces of her children. In a world where true motherhood is becoming a rarity, Mrs Godwin is an exception

Mrs Godwin is a fish seller and the mother to Joseph, a member of the National Youths Service Corp who recently posted a picture of himself and his mum on social media. In the picture, he is dressed in the NYSC uniform while his mother puts on the NYSC face–cap.The picture was taken in the market where she sells fish. The picture got the attention of Yoruba actress, Toyin Aimakhu.She posted it on her social media platform and it has gone viral since then.

According to Toyin Aimakhu:” God will bless him and his mother. He is a son who will never forget the sacrifice his mother made for him”

In this interview with Women of Rubies, Mrs Godwin shares her inspirational story. It will trigger your emotions and probably make you cry.

The Beginning

My name is Eunice Godwin a fish- seller, she sells frozen and smoked fish. My husband works as a security guard. He lives in Kaduna South, Nassarawa. I gave birth to six children; two boys and four girls .I love my children a lot and would do whatever it takes to make sure they are successful. I was selling orange before but the business was not giving me what I needed to support my family and I started the fish business because I see it as a means to sponsor my children’s education. The fact that I make profit from this business gives me joy and makes me fulfilled,

Challenges

I am facing a lot of challenges in my business. Government workers are against people selling by the roadside and we are always in constant fear that they can show up at any time. Another challenge I face is that my neighbors complain that the smoke coming out from the fishes irritate them .I need a place I can be doing that because I sell smoked and fresh fishes, also most times there is no market and I have to bring the fish back home , these things sometimes want me to give up but I won’t.

Sustaining the business

As a result of the need to sponsor my children’s education, I put in my best and do everything within my power to sustain the business. The profit made is sent to my children in school. I used the profits made from selling fish to sponsor my child who is currently undertaking his national youth service and others who just gained admission. I have always dreamt of sponsoring my children to the university and this is already happening

Giving up

I sometimes feel like giving up on my business. I buy the fishes on credit and pay at the end of the day. Sometimes I am not able to pay all because I would need the money, to be sent to my son in school. This makes me owe the person who sold the fishes to me .I am still paying the debt because it is much

Viral picture

When my son told me the picture we took has spread I was really surprised. I didn’t really look beautiful in the picture. I am really happy for it. My son was used by God to make the picture go that far.

Advice to Mothers

Take care of your children and they will take care of you, seedtime and harvest time will not seize.

Being a Woman of Rubies

I see Proverbs31:10-31 as a reflection of the person God created me to be. This makes me a Woman of Rubies

In Interviews&profile January 22, 2016 By Women of Rubies

#INTERVIEW | I WAS DEVASTATED WHEN THE DOCTOR TOLD ME MY DAUGHTER’S LEG WILL BE AMPUTATED-CRYSTAL CHIGBU, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR IREDE FOUNDATION

Crystal Chigbu was devastated when the doctor told her, amputation will be the available option for her daughter. It felt like her life had come to an end, she was distraught and discouraged. She and her husband decided to reframe the situation and make the best of it.This birthed The Irede Foundation, is an NGO focused on lending a hand of love, joy and hope to children living with limb loss knowing there are no limits to their potential.

The Beginning

My name is Crystal Chigbu, Founder and Executive director of The Irede Foundation. I am married to a gentle man fondly called Zubby. We are blessed with two children Beulah (girl) and Eden (boy). I am a “crazy “passionate person, believing there is nothing you set your mind to do that you cannot achieve I like to stand out from the crowd. I know disability is a mind game so I see more abilities in disabilities. I worked for a leading multi-national Fast Moving Consumer Goods (FMCG) company for over 12years and just recently resigned to work in the social space.I have interests in sustainable development with strong emphasis on economic and social empowerment of persons (specifically Children) with limb disabilities in Africa .My interests have led me to become actively involved in a number of NGOs as well as CSR initiatives focused on children and women.

The birth of Irede Foundation

My personal experience, birthing and raising a daughter with a missing tibia and knee cap inspired the creation of The IREDE Foundation. In addition to this was a desire to pour out my heart by writing out my daily frustrations and concerns as I managed my daughter. I wanted to share the comfort I had with other parents and the abilities in disabilities. The need to reach out with a message of hope to child amputees and families continually spurs me to action. We are out to educate and create awareness on amputation and limb loss reducing stigmatization to the barest minimum. We also have a support group to reach out to the families and the amputees. Thirdly, we empower amputees via provision of prostheses and mentoring.

My reaction

When the doctor told me my daughter’s leg would be amputated I was devastated. After a few minutes, I thought he must be out of his mind and then I became confused.I started asking questions. To say the least, it was indeed very devastating

Deciding to amputate her legs

The decision took about 2 years and 3 months to make. We (My husband and I) just could not come to terms with making the decision. We has to research and hoped that it didn’t have to come to amputation. I will leave you to imagine how difficult it was.

My daughter is amazing!

Beulah, my daughter is one of the strongest and determined human beings I know in my life. She is bold, daring competitive, loving and just so amazing. Let me tell you a little about our charming beauty, she gets to do everything she has determined to do. She is very active with sports and academics, within six months she learnt to swim excellently. She was once told by an older amputee that she wouldn’t look good without her prosthesis. Her response to her is with or without my prosthesis I am beautiful. Her energy is contagious, should you come in contact with her, you will literally love her.

Beulah and Irede Foundation

In trying to get a solution for Beulah, we realized that there was not much information around in Nigeria on this form of disability. We sought for support and it was literally unavailable. As we saw her transform daily into a child that does all things it became apparent that someone else can learn from us.

This contributed to the establishment of The Irede Foundation. This formed the basis of our day to day process which is to educate, to encourage and to empower. We wanted to create awareness on amputation for the society at large. A self-sufficient child despite the disability, is what I see daily in Beulah .This vision was translated into empowering others. We focus on mentoring the children and providing them with mobility aid. I want to see other children swim, dance, climb without any limitations of limb loss. These are the things I see daily in my daughter. At the Foundation, we offer the same hop

Challenges of running Irede Foundation

A number of challenges show up from time to time and by God’s grace we resolve and come to a place of learning as we fix them .One of the challenges we face is sourcing for the prostheses at an affordable price. Depending on the type of amputation, we do spend about one million naira (and with current exchange rate it’s even gone higher) on a prosthesis. We are working at sourcing locally for the materials used in fabrication of the prostheses as this will help us reach more children.

In order to reach more children and families with this message of hope, we need more sponsorships and collaborations.

Giving it all up?

Couple of times I felt like giving up. Sometimes it gets quite hectic and overwhelming that I do feel like packing it all up and doing something else. One example of when I’ve felt this way, was when I saw many children on queue to get prosthesis and we were not able to reach out to them immediately. In situations like this though, I remind myself of the 28 limbs and over 60 families that we have touched and the community. This encourages me and reminds me that I can’t give up now as we have gone too far from where we started from and we can and will make it.

Creating a balance between career and family

I am still learning balance every day and hope to continually get better at it as my children get older. My balance scheme is prioritization and support systems. I have learnt to prioritize my life, for me it’s my God, family, career and so on. When I am faced with any decisions or daily life’s challenges, I go in that order. Then I also take advantage of my support groups. My support group is my family, friends and the assistance I get from people. Each time I get overwhelmed, I re- evaluate my priorities and reach out to my support group again. That has worked for me from time to time.

Greatest reward

Hope renewed in the lives of our children is our greatest reward. When I hear the good news of how the children (Champions) are doing in school, see their smiles, families call in and just pray for me, it encourages me to do more. This is like receiving an award. Knowing that daily these children and their families’ lives are touched and improved daily makes me refreshed. I met a 16 year old amputee in January 2016, she had never walked all her life and she was quite a sad, depressed and unhappy teen. As I talked to her and got her to smile for the first time I felt good. The next time she came into the Irede office, she was all smiling as she fitted her first prosthesis ever. When I came in saw her, all I could do was give praise to God for the opportunity to touch lives.

My counsel to mothers

For mothers going through a similar ordeal, this is my advice, its okay to cry but after crying move on. Today, I want you to know there is hope for your child and for you. A distinguishing factor for children is the motherly support they get and also recognizing that fathers do play a major role too. I am encouraging you to be strong, get information about your child’s ordeal then get help. Often times you do not need to come up with fresh solutions. Someone somewhere has been through a similar ordeal and you can learn from them.

Final words

Being a woman is not a reason to be mediocre and dependent. Let’s stand up and join all the other women doing amazing things. Improve yourself, add value to your family, business, community and the nation at large. Women are blessed with multiple abilities. Do not accept the weaker vessel mentality. Get up and impact your immediate environment. See you at the top

In Interviews&profile January 22, 2016 By Women of Rubies

#INTERVIEW ”I AM AN EVERYDAY GIRL-NEXT-DOOR, YET AN AMAZON” – OGENNA WALTER EKWUBIRI, MISS TOURISM

Ogenna Walter Ekwubiri is the current Miss Tourism. She was born in Ibadan, Oyo State. She studied International Relations at Imo State University.

Queen Ogenna is also an entrepreneur. She owns Grandeur Lifestyle, a unisex salon and spa based in Abuja. She also owns a Consulting firm called Havilah Walter.

Childhood

As a child, I was raised to pursue my dreams with passion, persistence, and prayers. Thus for what ever I do now, I pursue with these 3P’s as my foundation.

Meet Me

I am the last child of four. My parents are Knights of St. Christopher. I am family oriented. I am a christian, an entrepreneur, and a feminist. I have a degree in International Relations. I am extremely passionate and patriotic.

Passion for modelling

To prove that you can be anything you want to be, and to further emphasize that beauty queens are not just beautiful but also strong women with brains as well.

What earned me the crown

Originality, grace of God, and my charismatic nature. I stayed true to Ogenna Walter Ekwubiri. I was not trying to be someone else.

Projects and activities

My projects would be geared towards projecting and enhancing Nigerians tourism potentials. I have reached out to key players in the tourism sectors and would flag off soon and you would be invited to the unveiling. Also, as an entrepreneur, I would help them with either start ups or financial advice- this would be achieved in partnership with financial institutions. Finally, we all know we need a peaceful environment for tourism to strive in Nigeria, hence I would propagate the gospel of peace across Nigeria.

On giving up

Every successful person in life must have felt the urge to give up on something at some point. In this case, in camp, I felt the pressure. Corresponding from the camp to my staff was not easy, and the news of my father’s illness broke me down. Yet in all, this made me stronger and more determined to win which has made him a proud dad today. In all, one should never give up; efforts would release its reward when I refuse to quit.

Rewards

The smile on the faces of people whose lives I have touched in my little way; nothing compares to that.

Advice for aspiring models

With God on your side, expect excellence, empowerment, and expansion.

Challenges of being a model

Sincerely, I do not think there are much challenge. Then again, we the models and to prove ourselves and due respect would be accorded to us in no more.

I Am A Woman Of Rubies

I am a Woman Of Rubies because I am an every day girl-next-door, yet an Amazon. I have come to accept my flaws and improve on them. I have embraced my femininity in all its essence and have decided to use it as a tool to enrich and impact lives positively. I am fearfully and wonderfully made an agent of positive change and I am willing to lift up other women.

Advice for women

A river cuts through a rock not because of its power but its persistence. Look at what is happening in the UK and in the USA. It is about that time, Nigerian women, and indeed women all over the world, take up leadership positions in all facets of life. God has given us the ability to be as gentle as a lamb with the strength of a lion. It is time for us to take charge.

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