Women of Rubies
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KEMI AMUSHAN : THE TYPE OF MEN TO FLEE FROM THIS NEW YEAR

They say dating is nothing but a game of craps where you’re either going to get lucky and hit it big by meeting the right one or you lose big and walk away with another disappointing experience, which gives you clarity on what you’re looking for.

Having been back on the dating scene for some years now, it’s safe to say that I have had more than my fair share of disappointments, so I’m either a glutton for punishment or am very hopeful that the right one for me is out there somewhere.

The key is recognising and avoiding the men that drain your energy and time, and trust me when I say that there are different types of men that you should avoid at all cost.

God’s Gift to Women

The man who seems to be the complete package is a blessing and a curse all at the same time, because he’s usually going to be physically attractive, successful and have minimal baggage. He’ll often remind you that he is the bomb and while he’ll do all of the things most women would be turned off by, he knows most women will put up with his shenanigans because he really appears to have it going for him. Avoid at all cost.

Transitional Project

It seems like the main ones flocking to the dating scene are the same ones who have absolutely no business trying to date, especially if they’re jobless, homeless or just down on their luck. Something you might hear from this type could be how he’s starting over or that he’s trying to get back into the groove of things after a breakup. I’ve come across these men far too often and after a few exchange of messages or conversations, I must say, they can be very convincing and tend to have some of the best game when it comes to schmoozing a woman. You better-run girl, run.

The Workaholic

I know women think it’s better to have a hard working man than one who isn’t working at all, but unless you like being on stand-by, are willing to put up with the inconsistent behaviour and the mood swings that come with high-pressure careers, he’s all yours. This type of guy is pretty easy to recognise. His profile will state he’s a “hard-working man who puts in 60 hours a week…” or how he travels a lot and would like an “activity partner…”.

Believe me, I’ve got plenty to say about this one because this type has drifted in and out of my life often. He really either has no time or more aptly put, refuses to make any woman a high enough priority to make time. This man is really looking for fillers for any downtime he may have; someone to exchange a few texts with to make sure he’s not lost his touch, someone to call on those long commutes home, or a bed warmer after a long days work. Bail out girl.

Damsel in Distress

These types of men can be a little confusing because they can be just as driven as the workaholic, yet will still make time for a woman of interest. The problem is that their interest usually comes at a price, because they will demand all of your time, energy and affection and even if you think you’re doing everything right, you’ll see that nothing is ever right or enough for the damsels.

Online dating is their playground because most of them have so many hang-ups, it’s likely they wouldn’t even know how to approach a woman physically and can be pretty controlling early on. You can expect mood swings and rants, find yourself arguing over the most insignificant things and find yourself wondering how much of your sanity is left at the end of every day. The damsel is a charmer indeed, but the clues are always in his profile. Always. So don’t miss that sign.

Mr. Unusual

Get ready for some really confusing times if you happen to come across this type of man because I think he’s a combination of all of the above and will have a few clues in his dating profile that say things like how he’s “open to whatever” and isn’t “forcing anything, but letting things happen”. He’s the type who’s on the fence about everything not willing to say what he does or does not want and your interactions with him will be just the same; hot or cold, on or off and no explanations or talks about where things are going (or aren’t) because this guy isn’t committing to a damn thing. Pack up your shoes and run with your legs touching your back. Trust me.

So there you have it, a list of men you can only hope to avoid and while it isn’t by any means inclusive, it should hopefully give you a fighting chance at dating.

To our happiness. Cheers.

Source: Guardian.ng

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#INTERVIEW | “IF YOU ARE NOT DETERMINED, YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED IN NIGERIA” – QUEEN MARTINS

Queen Martins is the founder of Twenty5wishes, an initiative that supports 25 people with training, exhibition and investment opportunities to run their businesses. In this interview  she spoke on the project, the motivation and why entrepreneurs should be supported.

Inspiration behind Twenty5wishes initiative

Twenty5wishes is an initiative poised to annually bring into reality the dreams of young people in Nigeria. Committed to developing the human capital of the Nigerian youth, the initiative presents a platform through which dynamic individuals are groomed into successful entrepreneurs through mentorship, with industry influencers and the opportunity to receive tools and funds that facilitate their business endeavours.

To kick-start this process, referrals and personal requests are forwarded to us. Our wish team screens these referrals and requests on their merit, and in order to be eligible, individuals must have demonstrated passion in the particular field, where they desire intervention.

This year, our wishers have shown great interest in various industries, including photography, fashion, makeup, shoe-making, events planning, media, e-commerce and filmmaking. These wishes will be granted in three phases: Training, talent showcase, and business setup with tools.

The ultimate goal of the Twenty5wishes initiative is to set up an endowment fund and build an entrepreneurship training institute with global standards of learning, modern facilities, training equipment and facilitators, which the Nigerian youth can access to develop and broaden their creative talents and sharpen their skill set. We believe the multiplier effect will, overtime, positively impact lives, families, communities and by extension, the nation.

For the training, we reached out to industry leaders and they partnered with us to offer training and across the different phases of the project. For instance, in the field of fashion, we partnered with OFB Fashion School, as well as Africa Fashion Week Nigeria. With regards to photography, we partnered with Kelechi Amadi-Obi, Jide and Morayo Odukoya and an institute, including organisers of Lagos Photo Festival.

In the area of media, we partnered with Beat FM. For make up, we partnered with House of Tara. And for event planning, we partnered with Funke Bucknor. So, we partnered with quite a number of organisations and individuals.

How many people showed interest in the first pitch?

Quite a number of people. We had over 100 people from which we shortlisted. This is in spite of the fact that we did not really make a lot of noise about it. It actually started during my birthday. I was going to turn 25 and I decided to just do something that would be impactful, but it got to a scale that I knew I had to formalise things. That is how we evolved into a full fledge initiative.

 

What prompted that line of thought on your birthday?

Beyond just celebrating my birthday, there was also a personal conviction as to the reason I am where I am today, and the roles that people have played in getting me there. I know there are other people who have potentials as well, but just do not have the right platform to showcase their skills; they are not in the right network.

Also, there are a lot of people who have good ideas, but not very well skilled in being able to put proposals together to articulate those ideas. So, what we do is try to cut through the red tape and give these people opportunities that they need, help and nurture them that they are able to earn the income they deserve.

Feedback like from the first phase of the training?

The feedback was mostly good, but another thing I learnt through the first phase was the fact that sometimes it is not enough to have the skill, you also have to be business savvy, and know how to run a business. The good thing is that because of what we have been able to do and people are following on the social media, a lot more people have decided to come on board to help out with the different phases and mentor people. In all, the feedback has been good.

What was your reaction and experience after the completion of the first phase and the commencement of the second phase?

It is basically picking lessons from the first phase and inputting those in the next quarter of wishes, so that it could be better structured, as well as get more in terms of impact. Of course, there was also the challenge of partners that could come onboard, especially when you are doing something for the first time.

But now, we have the benefit of having done something and we are looking forward to partnering with larger corporate bodies, because the more partners we have, the more wishers we can bring on.

Moving forward, what is the projection?

For the first one, we are able to get partners, and they are not small-scale organisations. So, it is about closing up on what we have already and of course setting up our own training facility, as well. This is so that we are able to conduct some of the trainings within our facility and basically increase the scale. Instead of 25 wishers, we would be looking at 25 people each from different industries. What we have now are 25 people across different industries.

For the last stage, when the wishers are to start practising their wishes, are you giving cash to start their businesses?

After the training, and in the process of getting ready for their exhibition, they go through business seminar, so that they understand what it takes to have a business plan, because they need to have projections. You could give somebody money, but if they do not know what they are going to do with it, it would be a waste.

Therefore, we get them to prepare their business plans, and then pitch such to the angel investors, and based on how convinced the latter are, the trainees would then invest. Already, they had received free training, so they need to know that this is worth fighting for, and not a walk in the park. Succeeding in business demands a lot. You need to go out there, do your market survey, identify your unique selling proposition (USP) and it is only after this, that you have the chance of excelling, and one way to do that is having a business plan.

Has it been a rosy experience?

It has not been entirely rosy. You might be able to accomplish something without money, but to really make impact you need money. Of course, we need money, but I thank the Lord for some of the support we have received. Though it is not financial, but we have received a lot of partnership for some of the things we need.

Another thing is to want to help people and they are able to envision and focus on where they are going and not be distracted by anything along the way. We have had one or two cases of people not following through and it is almost like a waste because somebody else would have benefitted from the wasted slot. Overall, however, we thank the Lord.

What is the motive behind this?

The truth is that there are so many jobs available right now, but with the number of graduates that we turn out daily, there is not enough room in offices. So, people need to look inward and start to think of how they can earn an income. Otherwise, we are going to have a lot more criminals on the roads, as people need money at the end of the day. And if they were not able to earn it, they would look for a way to get it out there.

If we were able to create entrepreneurs, who are passionate about what they do and think on a large scale, we would reduce the number of unemployed graduates, as well as reduce the pressure on corporate organisations to employ all the graduates. And not everybody is cut for office work anyway. There are people who are good with crafts, so all they need is the right platform to earn an income.

Are you looking at partnering with government agencies supporting entrepreneurs?

We are also looking at those organisations, but right now, we have not established partnership with them. However, we are looking at approaching some of them for the next quarter of wishes.

Is the project limited to Lagos?

For the first phase, we had entries from outside Lagos, but we tried to keep it to Lagos for now because we are just starting. As we increase the level of partnership and are able to cater for the needs of people outside Lagos, we would consider entries from outside Lagos.

Do you think the Nigerian environment encourages entrepreneurship?

It promotes dogged entrepreneurs. If you are not determined, you will not succeed in Nigeria because the terrain is not for the light minded. You have to be tenacious and not give up at the first obstacle.

However, people should not give up on their dreams. Though they might have tried to do one project or the other and failed, they should not give up. They should just keep trying, using different approaches, get more counsel, somebody good in that field, to guide and counsel them and they will definitely make a breakthrough.

Source: Guardian.ng

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SHE LEADS AFRICA SEEKS PROMOTION OF AFRICAN WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS

In its bid to change the perception of African women and expose them to technologies that can help promote their careers, a women-oriented organisation, She Leads Africa, says it is organising a one-day event tagged, “SLAY Festival.”

According to a statement by the co-founders of the organisation, Afua Osei and Yasmin Belo-Osagie, the festival — open to female entrepreneurs — will help spur deeper thinking and ambition while creating an interactive and unforgettable experience among women in Africa.

In order to create awareness about solar energy and eco-friendly waste disposal, the co-founders also said the event, which would take place in Lagos, would partner with Solar Shop and Recycle Points.

 

The statement said, “The festival is a one-day celebration of innovation, culture, technology, music, arts, food and all things entrepreneurial.

“SLAY Festival is a fun way to celebrate everything that makes the African woman great by equipping attendees with tools, resources and connections that will enhance their careers and achieve their goals.

With a membership of over 200,000 female entrepreneurs in over 30 countries, Osei and Bello-Osagie said the community had been able to supply business and career advice through in-person workshops and digital training on their worldwide city tours, called SheHive

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FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SET TO EMPOWER WOMEN AND REDUCE POVERTY

The Federal Government on Thursday unveiled a new women empowerment programme to provide women in business with the opportunity to have access to market for their products, access to finance and capacity building.

The Women In Investment and Enterprise Project, which was launched by the Minister of State for Industry, Trade and Investment, Aisha Abubakar, will be implemented in partnership with the Growth and Empowerment in States programme.

It is aimed at boosting the development of the Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises as the engine of growth by specifically providing the needed support for women in business to thrive and contribute to economic development.

Speaking at the formal inauguration of the programme in Abuja, Abubakar said the strategy of the government was to use the initiative to empower women and reduce the level of household poverty.

While recalling a saying that ‘poverty has the face of a woman,’ the minister said that any increase in the economic activities of women would trigger an increase in productivity and per capita income.

She said based on statistics, women owned about 30 per cent of registered SMEs in Nigeria, adding that the average growth rate of these businesses was far lower than those being run by men.

According to her, female entrepreneurs account for about 43.22 per cent in the ownership structure of micro-enterprises as against 22.76 per cent in SMEs, with only 10 per cent of them having access to finance needed to successfully launch new ventures or grow existing businesses.

Abubakar said, “If you empower a woman, you empower a nation, because you are not empowering her alone but triggering reduction in household poverty, increase in economic growth and productivity, and overall increase in per capital income.

“It is imperative for women to reach their potential and be critical elements for the attainment of inclusive growth and sustainable development, and ultimately providing a platform for the aspirations of next generation of women and girls.

“The project is a workable solution that will address some identified challenges facing micro businesses predominantly owned by women.”

The minister added that the programme was being implemented in seven states with enterprises that were commercially viable.

The states are Niger, Abia, Bauchi, Ebonyi, Akwa Ibom, Ogun and Kaduna.

In his comment at the event, the Acting Managing Director, Bank of Industry, Mr. Waheed Olagunju said that the bank would provide the needed funding to women in order to make the initiative succeed.

He assured the minister that any potentially viable business under the scheme would be fully funded by the bank without any limit.

A representative of the World Bank, Andrea Gaya, said the institution was in full support of the initiative as it fell within its developmental objective.

 

 

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#WCW | CELEBRATING SALAWA ABENI, THE QUEEN OF FUJI MUSIC

Salawa Abeni Alidu born on May 5, 1961, is a well known Nigerian vocalist. An Ijebu Yoruba from Ijebu Waterside, in Ogun State, she started her expert vocation in waka music when she discharged her presentation collection, Late General Murtala Ramat Mohammed, in 1976, on Leader Records. It turned into the primary recording by a female craftsman to offer over a million duplicates in Nigeria.

Abeni kept recording for Leader until 1986, when she finished an association with the record label owner, Lateef Adepoju. She wedded Kollington Ayinla and joined his record name rather, remaining with him until 1994.

She was delegated “Queen of Waka Music” by the Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi in 1992. Waka is an Islamic-impacted, customary Yoruba music style, promoted by Batile Alake; it is a much more established kind than jùjú and fuji.
She is tagged a heroine to many women because of her lyrics, which are highly critical of the way they have been treated by their men. She is said to have popularised a new style of Yoruba music, heavily influenced by traditional songs and dominated by thunderous drumming, which of course never swamps her even more gutsy vocals.
She is highly respected for finding her grounds and becoming relevant in a men-dominated industry in the 70s. How can we not crush on her?

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JULIANA RICJARDS, FOUNDER OF SLIM GIRL SHAPEWEAR DONATES 1,000 SANITARY PADS TO WOMEN & GIRLS

Do you know there are women and girls who can’t afford sanitary pad as basic as it is ? This challenge has kept so many young girls at home during their minstrel cycle .To address  this  issue , the founder of SlimGirl shapewear, Juliana Richards decided to give out 1000 free sanitary pads to women who cannot afford to buy one.

The sanitary pad can be picked up at any Slim Girl location.

In her words

“Free Sanitary pads to 1000 girls in Nigeria at any Slim Girl location! We will be out in the streets giving out free pads. Women should not have the break the bank for a basic need. I REFUSE to ignore and look away!

As a woman and entrepreneur I can’t imagine not giving back to help my country when I can. This has always been my ambition. I want to start a movement. This is a sisterhood, let’s pass it on.

Curled from: woman.ng

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#PROFILE | TITI ADELEYE : THE ARCHITECT WHO IS TOUCHING LIVES

Titilayo Adeleye has been able to exhibit her prowess in the architecture field in Nigeria. She is the Chief Executive Officer of Eden Group, Lagos and the immediate past Vice Chairman, Nigerian Institute Of Architects, Lagos Chapter.

The first decade of her life was spent in the most loving family. Her parents, Chief and Chief Mrs. Ade and Olufunke Iluyemi were loving, supportive pillars of strength, icons of good character and epitomes of faith and fortitude.

“I had a very strict upbringing. Dad and mum instilled the virtues of responsibility, honesty, consistency, diligence, accountability and confidence very firmly in my siblings and me,” she recalled. “It was never a question of whether you passed in school or you topped the class. Most times it took just a look to make us align our ways to their expectations.”

She continued: “My parents were Christians and very conservative. They ensured we got the best possible training. Even when sometimes I think I should be a bit mischievous, I really can’t because of the way I was brought up. They taught us the ways of God, which has been the biggest influence in my life. The constant pride they expressed in us gave us the wings to soar. Even when it was the norm to celebrate male children over female ones, they never did that because they had four girls before the two boys came along and they celebrated and nurtured us to become the best we could be. My siblings and I have excelled in our various careers as engineers, medical doctors, architects and teachers.”

She explained that she made the choice to become an architect and her sense of adventure was curbed by the heavy demands the choice entailed.

“The exploratory years in the University were fun and went by in a flash, as I earned my masters degree at the age of 21. Before graduation, I made up my mind to work with top architectural firms, where I could learn the basics of the profession. It is actually after leaving school that you learn a lot of things. After graduation, I served at ABDT Partnership in Ibadan and worked with Majaro Partnership, Lagos before setting up my own company in 1996. I have also done a lot of trainings,” she said.

 

Working with those firms taught her a lot of things, which include dealing with clients, working in an office, interpersonal communication, writing proposals, organising projects and negotiating, among others.

“My former bosses, Arc. Tunji Bolu and Arc. Charles Majoro affected my life positively, because they taught me how to be professionally creative achieving a good work life balance. I also look up to Arc. Bola Ogunbiyi. Outside my profession, I admired the late Dora Akunyili, because she went all out to achieve and made her mark. Outside Nigeria, I admire Hillary Clinton because she’s a woman, who has been successful in her various roles as a wife, mother and career woman. I see her as a strong woman, who, when she believes in something, goes for it. I also admire Michelle Obama, because she is a courageous woman and stylish. Despite all the negative things said about her, she was able to hold her head high,” she said.

So, what makes architecture fun for her? She replied excitedly: “Architecture is fun for me because I am a very creative person. I try to create something out of what exists. It is not that regimented because it helps me to express myself in my designs and bring my ideas back to life. Looking back, I think it’s been very exciting. As an architect, conceiving a work in your mind and seeing it becoming a reality is so gratifying.

“Part of our success story is being able to groom younger architects and seeing them mature to mentor others. We have done projects for Lagos State government, governors’ offices and other great projects. When clients commend you for a job well done and refer you to others, it is another success story on its own. People think that architecture is a male dominated profession, but this is no longer so, because there are a lot of women doing exceedingly well in the field. I think women are naturally creative and I always tell women that in every profession, you have to put yourself out there.

“When your male colleague does 10, you have to do 20. And when he is doing 50, you have to do 100. You just have to double your effort and let your signature be excellence. When a work is excellently done, it becomes immaterial whether a man or woman did it. So, let your work speak for you. Avoid pushing the fact that you are woman in the face of everybody; rather, try to prove your mettle. Whatever a woman does, she should do it diligently, then being a woman becomes an added advantage.”

Adeleye sure knows how to balance work and family life effectively. “I prioritise a lot and ensure my family and work do not suffer,” she said. “I have formed the habit of always making lists. I have short-term list, medium-term and long-term list. I always tick out things I have not done and because I am always doing that, it has helped me to organise my time and things I need to do. I make up my mind on the things that are important and the ones that are not. I am grateful to have a wonderful family that has encouraged and supported me all the way.”

Aside work, the architect has a church ministry, where she ministers and mentors teenagers and youths.

“On various occasions, I have listened to these young ones pour out their minds and observed that they need direction, as a lot of them are confused. I sat down and thought to myself that they need someone to put them through in life and nurture them. When you listen to them, you are amazed at how much confusion and stuffs going through their minds. You also see that a lot of them are at crossroads. The formative years are the most important part of our lives. It is during this period an individual makes decisions that will shape the rest of his/her life. I realised that if these young ones are directed, then we can launch them out in life without fear.

 

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#PROFILE | CELEBRATING HUMAN RIGHT ACTIVIST DR. JOE ODUMAKIN

 

Dr. Joe was born in Zaria, Kaduna State, but grew up and schooled in Ilorin. Her passion for defending people’s rights started way back as a child. Growing up as a teenager, she decided to be a Nun, this decision was influenced by the Catholic educational environment she was groomed in but the fear of her father disowning her took away that zeal.

While schooling, she met with a lecturer who had keen interest in her because she was very intelligent. She was exposed to materials to read about Martin Luther King and other people like Karl Max, Malcom X. Quietly, a fire began to kindle with her very young mind.

In 1985, the position of secretary for Women in Nigeria, Kwara State branch was vacant so she applied alongside other women that had applied for the position. She won the hearts of many when she stepped out to declare her manifesto, after which she was accepted for the position.

Joe’s motivation came from all the books she read while she was in school and other interesting biographies of international activists who gave their lives to struggle for the right of people. It was then she looked within and saw that an opportunity to do the same was wide open in Nigeria, during the military dictatorship of late Abacha and Ibrahim Babangida.

Much later, fate and optimism brought her close to late Dr. Beko Ransome Kuti, who at that time was the President, Committee for the Defence of Human Rights. Her relationship with him, brought her closer to late Chief Gani Fawehinmi and the Afro-juju singer, Fela Kuti. Together they gallantly clamoured for change and democracy. She was always at the forefront of rallies held against military dictatorship, and she was detained severally in prison while she suffered bruises from severe beatings. It was during one of her many detentions that she met with Comrade Yinka Odumakin, and they got married later.

After the military era, she kept on fighting for the rights of minorities in the nation, particularly women who were constantly abused in the society. She also participated in various rallies protesting for free and fair elections in Nigeria, particularly the Save Nigeria Group [SNG] campaign.

With over 25 years experience in human rights work in Nigeria, Dr. Joe Odumakin keeps showing exemplary leadership qualities, undying commitment to grassroots development, and selfless service to humanity. She has been honoured with so many awards both in Nigeria and in other countries.

 

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#EMPOWERTUESDAY | LAGOS HOUSEWIFE : THE “MUST HAVE” KIDS SCHOOL LUNCH BOOK

Good morning, mamas. How was school resumption yesterday? How many of you shouted Halleluyah? You see yoursefs? ?

I’m back today with school lunch. Because of our children. Because of you mothers.

What are we feeding our children? The healthiest meals are balanced meals. Every food group is needed by their bodies. The trick is to add each in balanced quantities.

I also don’t believe children should not eat sweet things, except maybe for specific health reasons. But it should not be an everyday thing and I believe in making those sweet treats myself so I know exactly what goes inside.

The School Lunch Menu contains all the above with easy preparation methods and prep ahead tips. That is your own part. You don’t have to worry anymore what to pack in your children’s school lunch. How to balance their meals. How to cook varieties. How to make all those tantalizing meals.

Everything has been sorted out for you. For N2,000.

For everyone who has been inquiring, there are currently 3 payment options available for The School Lunch Menu:

– PayPal for International Payments
– Paystack for Local Online Payments
– GTB for Direct Bank Transfer

All the payment options are on this link – http://lagoshousewife.com/recipe-books/school-lunch-menu-timetable-recipes/

Please send me an email after payment so I can send you your copy.
My email address is also included in the link.

Don’t forget, The School Lunch Menu is an e-book in PDF format and will be sent to your email after payment. So your location is no hindrance. If you have an email address or a whatsapp number, you will get your copy.

Follow my instagram account https://instagram.com/lagoshousewife  for more pictures of school meals prepared by me for my children

****This was posted  for free in line with our vision to support female owned businesses and showcase their work for free every Tuesday through our #EmpowerTuesday initiative.

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ARIYIKE WEEKLY : NANNY DRAMA!!!!

On this episode of Ariyike weekly, the gist is all about Nanny Drama! Ariyike talks about some of the lies these Nannies tell. Some even go as far as lying that their Parents are dead just because they want to get off work and for most of them, no matter how nice and accommodating you are to them, they will still leave you and go to their villages for Christmas. As for the agents, most of them keep recycling these girls even when they know they are not fit for the job. When I was trying to employ a Nanny last year, I did blood tests for a lot of them and so many of them tested positive for Hepatitis B and Pregnancy. In Nigeria, you must ensure that you do the necessary blood tests for these Nannies before employing them just so that you are sure who you are taking into your home. Is it the same in other parts of the world? Please watch and share some of the challenges you have faced with these Nannies/ their Agents. Today, it’s all about Nanny/Agent DRAMA!!!!

 

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