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HOW TO THINK POSITIVE EVERYDAY

Many of us may have heard of the importance of positivity but few can really tell why it’s important. When we are trapped with a reduced number of choices as a result of emotions coming into play, we make wrong regretful decisions.

So it’s really important to think positive.But… how?

Thousands of articles online teach us how to think positive in the most clichéd ways possible. You should cheer up, crack a smile, look on the bright side of life…blah…blah..blah…

Don’t worry! The tips you are going to see below are nothing like those. We aim to offer some practical and specific tips for you to start making REAL changes.

Start with your posture: sit up straight! It’s more than etiquette

While one may think cultivation of positivity always requires conscious effort, indeed it doesn’t.

Sitting up straight may appear irrelevant to positivity. But a study reveals the association between posture and positive thoughts.

The result shows that people are more likely to generate positive thoughts and recall positive memories when they are sitting up straight.[2]

So, sit up straight right now! Sometimes tiny things in life all contribute to our well-being without us noticing.

Have a teaspoon in your pocket

What else can a teaspoon do other than stirring our refreshing cup of coffee? Well, a Quora user, William Peynsaert, thinks of a brilliant idea to use a teaspoon for our evasion from negativity. [3]

All we need is a teaspoon. Nothing more.

Well, technically, we also need a pair of pants with pockets. In case we are not wearing any.

What we do is to put the teaspoon into either one side of the pocket. Whenever we feel like formulating a negative thought, put the teaspoon into another pocket. Just that simple.

The principle behind is that the action occupies our brains so we don’t have spare resources to bring up any negative thoughts. Usually we are quite impulsive to have negative thoughts and by the time we finished transferring the teaspoon, the urge is long gone and SNAP! We successfully stop a negative thought.

At first we may find ourselves doing it over and over again. But eventually, we will do this less and less.

After all, we can choose whatever utensils or stationery or anything that fit us. It’s just a medium.

It may sound silly but it does work.

Instead of news, read something uplifting in the morning

It is common to watch morning news reports. For the sake of keeping abreast of the latest news. This is definitely good not to block ourselves off the outside world. But, what news is mostly about?

Car crash. Terrorist attack. Natural disaster. All sorts of disheartening incidents.

I am not suggesting us not read any news but a trade off. Devote part of your morning on something more uplifting.

Start our daily confidence programming habit. Instead of news update, begin our day by reading a chapter of an empowering book. We can also go for our favorite spiritually boosting and inspirational materials.

 

List 3 things you’re grateful for every day

It is simple and easy to do. Try to list at least 3 things we are grateful for every day. In the end, we won’t realize how much it helps us.

Researches [4] reveal a multitude of benefits in expressing gratitude on a daily basis. Being grateful is associated with our well-being. It can also improve relationships and help with emotional maturity. Gratitude can simply promote happiness.

It’s true that we can always find dissatisfaction in life. Same to satisfaction. Half-filled and half-empty glass.

It’s actually a piece of cake to find things we can express gratitude on.

Start of weekend. Cats and dogs outside. Hiking trip cancelled. Meh!

Well, at least we have a home sheltering us. We even have Netflix to entertain ourselves.

Or, year review.. NO pay raise. Can it be worse?

You are not sacked, aren’t you? You still have a stable job.

Or even, back to very basic. We are still alive, right? We are still living in this world of mystery and amazement. We still have lots to explore. There’s nothing to mourn on.

There are always angels and devils in our brains. While we are usually the devil’s advocate, try to stand on the angel’s side now.

Use the app “Happify” to cultivate positivity scientifically

Ever imagined an app to ‘happify’ ourselves. An app to delight ourselves and brighten our day?

Then try Happify, an app designed specially for us to handle our negative emotions. It provides us with scientifically-proven tools and techniques to promote our emotional well-being.

It consists of short activities and games for us to relearn situations and be more aware of the subtle little things we should be grateful for.

While we usually the gadgets are taking a toll out of us, it is now possible to cultivate positivity right back from it.

Celebrate your small wins every day

One easy way to start cultivating our positivity is to write down our small wins on a daily basis. And research has reassured the potential benefits of doing so.

Progress is a lot more than just a step closer to success, as Amabile and Kramer suggest. In fact, if we properly record our progress, no matter how small it is, we instantly receive a confidence boost!

Teresa Amabile from Harvard Business School and Steven Kramer read through approximately 12,000 diary entries written by 238 individuals from 7 different companies. The employees were asked to write about their emotions and moods, motivation levels, and perceptions of the work environment as well as what work they did and what events stood out in their minds on a daily basis for 4 months. [5]

The result showed that any accomplishment, regardless of its size, activates the reward circuitry of our brains. Once activated, a chemical dopamine is released and this chemical is associated to the feeling of pride and achievement.

More importantly, the chemical also motivates us to continue on with the taking challenges and to attempt to repeat the same achievement next time. This forms a positive reinforcement loop that makes us more likely to be successful.

So pay close attention to what you achieved. Ran for 400m? Got up 10 minutes earlier? Mark these down and recognize yourself! It’s never too much.

By: Jefferey Lau

For: Lifehack.org

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LUPITA NYONG’O’S COVER FOR ANOTHER MAGAZINE‘S NEWEST ISSUE IS ALL SHADE OF ”WAKANDA”

Another day, AnOther Magazine cover for actress Lupita Nyong’o.

The movie star is simply described as “Majesty” on the cover of the magazine’s latest issue.

The magazine describes the Academy Award-winning star as “A Gracious Role Model for Our Times. Principled yet unpredictable, considered yet authentic…”

She talks to the magazine about her new movie “Us”, working with director Jordan Peele, her role in “Black Panther” and so much more.

Read excerpts below.

On working with Jordan Peele in Us: “I’d walk off a cliff for Jordan Peele. I was madly in love with the mind of Jordan from the Key & Peele days, and I remember putting him on my ‘one day I’ll work with’ list. Then I saw Get Out. I saw it in the cinema five times in one month. I was just so fascinated by it”

On how a meeting with Ralph Fiennes early in her career helped: “I was having lunch with Ralph (Fiennes) one day and he asked me about my interests, and I told him that I wanted to be an actor, I think. He said, ‘Only do it if there’s nothing else you want to do, if there’s nothing else you feel you could do.’ It wasn’t, ‘Here’s my number, I’ll be your mentor.’ It wasn’t that but he gave me a lot of food for thought.”

On Black Panther: “When I think what Black Panther has done for Africans and Africans in their diaspora, it’s this allegorical story about the relationship between Africa and America, reflected in the relationship between T’Challa and Killmonger. It’s a chance for both to consider each other’s perspective in a way that I don’t think popular culture has been effective at doing. It’s really the start of a long-overdue conversation. In no way does it call for answers, but it’s the opportunity to begin to [rexognize] what it is we have in common.”

For more from Lupita, visit AnotherMag.com.

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4 QUALITIES OF A KEEPER; HOW TO RECOGNIZE A GOOD GUY

I have a dear friend who was once vivacious and cheerful. As a teenage girl, she had a promising future. She was beautiful, warm, smart and talented. She dated a lot and was widely admired. She had “the pick of the litter” as far as guys went. In college, she met a charismatic guy who made her laugh. He swept her off her feet and they married.

Soon enough, she found out that Prince Charming was really a sociopath. She stayed with him for the sake of her children and suffered in an unhappy, abusive marriage for many years before leaving.

Marriage is a hugely exciting prospect, but when you’re in love with someone, sometimes your emotions can cloud your judgment. Maybe he’s a fun guy, but is he worthy to take your hand in marriage? Can you imagine him as the father of your children?

Of course, you don’t want to spend your life with “Mr. Blah,” but bear in mind the long road ahead. Before committing to the wrong guy, consider the following all-time top four qualities of a keeper. Remember, this is your future we’re talking about!

  1. He is kind to young children and old women

A guy who is both tender with kids and respectful to the elderly is worth a second look. I have a brother-in-law who adores my kids. Even after having children of his own, he makes my kids feel special and cool. He loves roughhousing with them and blending fruit smoothies for them. Similarly, a guy who is a gentleman to his mom and other women is a keeper. A man’s behavior toward women says volumes about the type of person he is.

  1. He is willing to get his hands dirty

When the car stalls or the gutters need cleaned, it’s sure handy to have a manly guy around. Even if your guy isn’t a skilled mechanic or handyman, it’s nice to have someone who will dig in and not shy away from hard work.

A guy with a strong work ethic will teach your children the value of hard work. Don’t settle for someone lazy or someone who won’t pitch in to help maintain your home. A man who extends a helping hand to others is someone worthy of your love, too.

  1. He isn’t in love with himself

Steer clear of the guy who moons over himself. You know – the guy who never saw a mirror he didn’t like.

Who wants to spend her life with a vain man? It’s fine to want to look nice, and no one wants to be with a slob – but pay attention to your man’s ego and make sure he’s not a slave to fashion (for example, too hipster) or his physique. You don’t want a selfish or narcissistic hubby.

  1. He is honest

When you’ve snagged an honest man, you can be assured of several things. Your husband won’t be unfaithful to you. He’ll be true to his co-workers, boss, friends and family members. He’ll be upfront in his financial dealings. When he makes mistakes, he won’t hide them from you because he is a man of honor.

You’ll enjoy peace of mind and feel more secure in your marriage with an honest man.

Each of these four attributes points to another attribute: humility. Find and marry someone who is humble, because he will regard you more highly than himself.

 

By: Megan Gladwell

Originally for Familyshare

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TOLA SPEAKS: WHAT’S YOUR WORK ROUTINE?

Getting better at doing the same thing takes few deliberate attempts especially in the work place to guarantee enjoyment. Trust me, some days are sapping while some are really light, but overall, I try to strike a good balance within the week. I have sort of created procedures that guide my everyday work life…but don’t consider me lucky yet, for now, it seems to be working.

So there are activities during the day that deplete my energy. I guess you’re familiar with them: meetings, running around, business trips, conducting a talk, a presentation… what have you. It’s inevitable that you will encounter some form of stress as you work. The good thing is, I set out a solitary time during the day where I reconnect with myself. I find balance in that energy and come out rejuvenated and refreshed. It can be as short as five minutes but it’s part of my daily routine and it’s something that I do on my own.

Additionally, I create a simple sequence of work activities like pre-designed templates which I use often to simplify work. Although, it usually requires little moderation but saves me considerable time which ultimately improves my performance.

I have found that defining this routine helps me outline the steps needed to ensure happiness amidst the long hours put at work. Our best output comes from something we have so much passion for, that the idea of failing bears no meaning. Being able to meet that purpose on a daily basis creates happiness at work. Defining this routine not only helps me recenter but jumpstarts my day which enables me achieve my goals better throughout the day.

Examine your day, do you have a daily routine?

Be Purposeful, Be Happy.

tolaspeaks

 

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REMI COLE: HOW TO HELP YOUR WIFE WHEN SHE’S FALLING APART

 

You can find them in every grocery store, office, playground and drop off lane at the local elementary school.The women who wipe their children’s tears away, who selflessly serve day after day with little or no appreciation, who juggle working and parenting and sleepless nights and endless guilt, who love their husbands fiercely, who continually look after everyone’s needs except their own. They are the women who quietly run the world.

And, if you’re a woman reading this article, “they” probably means you.

I know the look in your eye. I know what it feels like to give everything and never feel like it’s enough. I know what it feels like to wake up and wonder how you’ll ever make it through the day. Please know that you are not alone.

To the husbands, we need you. We know that we can not walk the path of life alone. When we fall, we need you to catch us, and help us stand tall. We need you to wipe our tears away and hold us so tightly that it’s almost difficult to breathe. We need you to comfort us when life becomes too hard to bear.

To the incredible men who love us, I know that it is hard to know what to do. I know that sometimes the right words are difficult to find. We want to help you help us. I asked women from all over the world to share their thoughts about how husbands can help their wives reset when they are stressed or overwhelmed. I hope these ideas are helpful to you:

  1. Be aware of her responsibilities

Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her. Her to-do list is probably overflowing with tasks that far outweigh her time and energy. Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices.

  1. Get involved BEFORE she burns out

The best time to begin helping your wife is now. Don’t wait until she breaks down to offer a helping hand.

  1. Be an active participant

It takes two to parent. It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes two to run a household. Be fully involved in every aspect of your family life. Work is hard, but your employment status doesn’t give you permission to opt out of chores, disciplining and planning date nights.

  1. Stop trying to fix her problems

Just listen. That’s all you need to do. And if she wants you to offer solutions, she’ll ask for them.

  1. Hold her

Find something to keep your kids preoccupied, and then take your wife into your arms and tell her how much you love her. Hold her closely and let her cry into your shoulder. Comfort her the best way you know how.

  1. Let her talk for as long as she needs

Sometimes the best way for a woman to reset is by getting all of her thoughts out. Let your wife talk through her feelings and problems. Show empathy. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Be fully engaged in the conversation.

  1. Be a partner

Marriage is committing to share a life together. To carry one another’s burdens. To cry with one another. To support one another through difficult times. Marriage means being one another’s confidant, lover and friend. You aren’t just two people living together. You are a beautiful union of two people who covenant to love each other forever.

  1. Provide her hope

Encourage her. Let her know what you love about her. Help her see the good in any situation. Avoid being critical or negative. When she’s hit rock bottom, be the man who lifts her up, and brings light and hope back into her life.

  1. Be useful

Learn the art of looking around the house and finding things that need to get done. Are there dishes in the sink? Does the dog need to be walked? What is broken that needs to be fixed? Don’t wait to be asked. Just do it!

  1. Give her a day all to herself

Nothing feels better than getting a manicure, pedicure, hair cut, massage, and a new outfit. Let her sleep in, take a hot bath, and spend some quiet time alone. Support her and take over her day-to-day tasks, so she can have time to take care of herself.

  1. Pray for her

Right before you go to bed, kneel down next to your bed together, hand in hand, and pray. Tell God how much you love your wife. Let him know what you appreciate about her. Ask for his help. Ask him to tell you how you can be a better spouse to her. Ask him to comfort her and help her see herself as He see her.

  1. Ask her what you can do to help

Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her. She’ll appreciate it more than you will ever know. Because, you know what? She loves you too, and she is grateful every day for what you do for her.

 

 

 

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20 FOODS YOU EAT EVERYDAY THAT ARE BAD FOR YOU

Cancer is a disease that affects millions of people every year. Since 2012, the disease has taken the lives of more than 8 million people. Although several types of cancers are just ticking time bombs waiting for their moment, most types can be avoided by living a healthy lifestyle. Although there are treatments, prevention is the only truly effective way of living a cancer-free life. Consider living healthily as an investment for a brighter future, and it all begins with what we put in our bodies.

You may not be aware, but the foods we can pick off of the shelves or from counters can actually contain carcinogens packaged in confusing or misleading names. This list contains the 20 most consumed foods with known carcinogens that you should avoid starting right now.

1. Margarine

foodnavigator-usa.com

Margarine has been regarded as the healthier alternative to butter for spreading and shallow frying, but the opposite is true. Butter from grass-fed cows provides beneficial nutrients to their milk supply, something that you won’t get from the vegetable or animal fat used to make margarine. During the production process, the ingredients used to make margarine are heated to extremely high temperatures which lead to the occurrence of free radicals.

2. Canned Goods

survivallife.com

It’s not that the contents of a can that are dangerous but rather the lining of the can which contains bisphenol-A (BPA), a compound known to trigger brain cancer. Nowadays, you can purchase canned goods from the store that are BPA-free, but you should always double or triple check to make sure you’re getting a safe container. The most dangerous type of canned food in a BPA-lined can is tomato products.

3. Microwave Popcorn

simplyrecipes.com

Both the paper bag and the popcorn can lead to lung cancer. The kernels used in popcorns are most likely GMO, and the “butter” that gives it its iconic flavor is nothing more than an artificial flavoring with high traces of diacetyl. Consider popping your own corn the old fashioned way without the inclusion of fake butter, questionable kernels, and hazardous packaging.

4. Deli Meats

fachton.com

Nothing pairs better with a glass of wine than a thin slice of cheese and deli meat. Unfortunately, consuming the sandwich meat you purchase over the counter can severely increase your risk of colon cancer. Most deli meats are jam-packed with preservatives to give them that “healthy” look for weeks on end before being picked up by an unsuspecting carnivore.

5. Grilled Red Meat

theverge.com

Grilling your meat is arguably one of the best ways to enjoy the natural flavors and juiciness of a thick steak, burger, or hot dog, but it’s the heat and residual char marks that could potentially increase your risk of cancer. The char marks contain heterocyclic aromatic amines, a known carcinogen. You’re better off preparing your steak or hot dog in a skillet than on a grill.

6. Smoked Meat

dartagnan.com

It’s not the smoking process that can lead to cancer but rather the preservatives injected into the smoked meat at your local butcher shop or grocery store. The additives can add up over time and produce toxins that encourage the growth of cancerous cells. Consider purchasing a slab of raw meat and smoking it yourself.

7. Refined White Flour

youtube.com

Refining white flour removes all nutritional value. Bleaching flour is done to make it look more appealing to customers. What you may not know is that chlorine, a hazardous chemical to humans, is used to whiten flour. Furthermore, consuming refined white flour on a regular basis can create an insulin resistance by converting carbs to sugar. The resulting sugar is fuel for cancer cells.

8. Hydrogenated Oils

foodnavigator.com

Hydrogenated oils are oil extracted from vegetable (so far so good) but are then chemically treated to alter how they taste and smell (no longer good). The resulting product is chock full of omega-6 fats – something that we consume way too much of – that can modify the structure of our cells and support the growth of cancerous cells.

9. Farmed Fish

nanaiomibulletin.com

Fish can be one of the healthiest forms of protein we can consume. However, the farmed-raised variety of fish will do nothing for your body. Because fish are raised in a bacteria-filled environment, they need to be given antibiotics, pesticides, and other carcinogenic chemicals to control the growth of viruses and parasites. The resulting fish have most of their nutrients removed and replaced with cancer-causing compounds.

10. Alcohol

insiderguides.com.au

They say that the poison in food and drink is in the dosage. There’s a fine line between moderate drinking and overconsumption of alcohol. A glass of red wine a day will help keep your brain sharp, but more than that will exponentially increase the risk of contracting cancer.

11. Refined Sugar

newtimes.gr

We all have a sweet tooth, but indulging in sugary treats is a main contributor to the growth of cancer cells. Sugar has been proven to be one of the most addictive substances which is unfortunate since cancer cells thrive when abundant levels of sugar is present. Perhaps the next time you feel a sugar crave coming, it’s time to go cold turkey and nibble on a carrot instead.

12. Carbonated Beverages

foodnavigator.com

Soda has never been good for us. Considering the high levels of fructose corn syrup and mysterious food colorings, it’s amazing that the drink is even allowed to be sold in stores and even in school cafeterias. The carcinogen in carbonated drinks can be found in the refined sugars used to give it the sweet taste we’ve grown to love.

13. Potato Chips

fitnea.com

Although our bodies require sodium to function properly, having too much of it can destroy our bodies and increase the risk of stomach cancer. Apart from being way too salty, potato chips get their crispiness from acrylamide, a carcinogen used in cigarettes.

14. Artificial Sweeteners

npr.org

Since sugar can cause cancer down the road, what is the healthier alternative to keeping our teas and coffees sweet? We can tell you right now that the answer does not lie in a packet of artificial sweetener. Aspartame, a popular artificial sweetener, can wreak havoc on your organs and cause cancer.

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MO ABUDU HOSTS SUCCESSFUL MENTORING PROGRAMME FOR YOUNG WOMEN

Last month, Mo Abudu launched Your Dream Moment with Mo, a new mentoring programme for young women. In doing so, she was fulfilling a lifelong dream of her own to contribute to the development of Nigerian girls who are driven to make the most of their talents and opportunities.

Staged at the Oakwood Park Hotel in Lekki, the day consisted of a series of practical workshops, led by a number of influential speakers, including Bola Adesola, CEO, Standard Chartered Bank; Nimi Akinkugbe, CEO, Bestman Games; Lanre ‘Coach’ Olusola, author and life coach; Bidemi Zakariyau, CEO, LSF PR and Veronica Odeka, Founder, Vanestyle. Naturally, the event was anchored by Mo herself, as she dispensed pearls of wisdom and experience, encouraging the young ladies to reach for their dreams in a very strategic way.

Bola Adesola shared her personal journey of balancing a successful career with being a wife and mother, along with tips on goal-setting, being purposeful, living a full life and finding a spouse who supports your ambition. Lanre Olusola spoke about the principles of success, finding your purpose, loving yourself and having a clear vision for your life.

Nimi Akinkugbe‘s theme was Wealth Management & Funding Your Dream and she emphasised the importance of budgeting, saving, investing in yourself, lifelong learning and finding your passion. As Nigeria’s foremost celebrity stylist, Veronica Odeka, spoke about the importance of style as a way of projecting your personality, standing out from the crowd, increasing your confidence and improving your self-esteem, as well as sharing tips on building a beauty brand. Bidemi Zachariyau gave pointers on how to build a personal brand and why it is critical to impressing your next employer or client.

Speaking after the event, Mo Abudu expressed her gratitude to the speakers and support staff who made the event possible and how much it meant to all the attendees. “I’m so glad we finally made this happen. The future of Nigeria is extremely bright if we manage to nurture our young women and empower them to make their dreams and plans come true. I learned so much today about the strength, resilience, innovation and creativity of these bright young women, and I am determined to continue with this mentorship programme to ensure that as many as possible become successful entrepreneurs, executives and top professionals. They have so much to offer Nigeria.”

Amongst the attendees were lawyers, doctors, bankers, bloggers and entrepreneurs, looking for a way to fast-track their way to greater heights. Judging from their response, Your Dream Moment with Mo, was a resounding success. As the first in a series, the programme will continue across Nigeria throughout 2019.

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CARDI B OPENS UP ON HER ORIGINAL DECISION TO LEAVE OFFSET IN HARPER’S BAZAAR’S LATEST ISSUE

26-year-old rapper, Cardi B is on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar‘s March 2019 issue and she talks about dealing with post-partum depression, her original decision to leave husband Offset after his cheating scandal, motherhood, where she is in her life and so much more.

Read excerpts below.

On where her life is today: “I feel like my life is a fairy tale and I’m a princess— rags to riches, people trying to sabotage. Before, I cared about everything—relationship, gossip. Now I don’t feel like I have the time to please people. I don’t care about anything anymore—just my career and my kid. Well, I care about my career because of my money.”

On her post-partum depression: “I thought I was going to avoid it. When I gave birth, the doctor told me about post-partum, and I was like, ‘Well, I’m doing good right now, I don’t think that’s going to happen.’ But out of nowhere, the world was heavy on my shoulders.”

On her original decision to leave Offset: “I decided on my own. Nobody makes my decisions about my life but me. I didn’t want to go to marriage counseling. He suggested it, but it’s like, ‘I don’t want to go.’ There’s no counselor or nothing that could make me change my mind.”

On how she feels about sex and relationships: “If you think Imma automatically hop onto you after a marriage, that just means you think I’m a sleaze. And I’m not. I have a kid— I have to show an example…Just because I’m out there and very sexual doesn’t mean that I have to be whorish. I like to have sex. That doesn’t mean I have to have it with everybody. Not that I judge women who want to have sex with the world.”

On motherhood: “I just wanna be home all the time. I don’t care about going out anymore. The things that I thought matter, it didn’t really matter. I’m just so focused on my kid. I don’t be sad for long because whenever I’m with my baby, it’s like, ‘Yeah, whatever. F*ck everybody.’”

On distancing herself from social media: “Some people, they always think that I’m trying to do something [on social media] for publicity and I don’t even like the publicity. I don’t like the drama. I don’t like the bullshit …and I don’t need it. I really don’t need it. I feel like my music sells on its own. People think they need it to sell records. I don’t think so. Look at somebody like Post Malone. He’s never on social media.”

For more from Cardi, visit HarpersBazaar.com.

 

 

Credit: Bella Naija

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GABRIELLE UNION TALKS ABOUT HER INFERTILITY PROBLEM AND EMBRACING SURROGACY

American Actress, Gabrielle Union welcomed her first child with husband, Dwayne Wade in 2018 via surrogacy.

The 46-year-old actress recently sat down with Women’s Health magazine to chat about her infertility struggles, what she looked for in a surrogate, and how she’s raising baby Kaavia, and moms new and old can definitely learn a thing or two from her revelations.

Read excerpts below.

On her fertility problems:

“There’s nothing more than I wanted than to cook my own baby…the idea of it felt like surrendering to failure.”

On maintaining an active lifestyle:

 “I need sun. I need Vitamin D on my face. Give me a trail, a park, a walk down the street with the dogs, a breeze, rain. I’ll go hike. I’ll get a lawn chair and sit outside my trailer so I’m not trapped inside.”

On choosing a surrogate for her daughter:

“Some people care about the race, religion, or food habits of their surrogate. I was like, ‘I want a reader.’”

On how it was tough to overcome the public opinions:

“People want to see the bump, hear that you got hemorrhoids—they want to know you’re like them. I was like, ‘This is going to seem like the most Hollywood sh*t ever. Will I be embraced as a mom?’ It’s terrifying.”

On the birth of her daughter:

“I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is my baby. I wanted to fight everybody in that room for various reasons and no reason.”

Read the interview here.

 

Credit: fabwoman.ng

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OLUFUNKE ADEBAYO: POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME

 Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) is a common health problem caused by an imbalance of reproductive hormones. The hormonal imbalance creates problems in the ovaries. The ovaries make the egg that is released each month as part of a healthy menstrual cycle. With PCOS, the egg may not develop as it should or it may not be released during ovulation as it should be. Signs and symptoms of PCOS often develop around the time of the first menstrual period during puberty, but sometimes PCOS develops later in response to substantial weight gain.
PCOS can cause missed or irregular menstrual periods. Irregular periods can lead to infertility (inability to get pregnant). In fact, PCOS is one of the most common causes of infertility in women. It also leads to development of cysts (small fluid-filled sacs) in the ovaries
Who gets PCOS?
It happens to women of childbearing age. Most women find out they have PCOS in their 20s and 30s when they have problems getting pregnant and see their doctor. PCOS can however happen at any age after puberty.
Women of all races and ethnicities are at risk of PCOS. Your risk of PCOS may be higher if you have obesity or if you have a mother, sister or aunt with PCOS.
What causes PCOS?
1. High levels of androgens: Androgens are sometimes called “male hormones,” although all women make small amounts of androgens. Androgens control the development of male traits, such as male-pattern baldness. Women with PCOS have more androgens than normal. Higher than normal androgen levels in women can prevent the ovaries from releasing an egg (ovulation) during each menstrual cycle, and can cause extra hair growth and acne, two signs of PCOS.
2. High levels of insulin:  Insulin is a hormone that controls how the food you eat is changed into energy. Insulin resistance is when the body cells do not respond normally to insulin. As a result, one’s insulin blood levels become higher than normal. Many women with PCOS have insulin resistance, especially those who are overweight and have unhealthy eating habits,  those who do not get enough physical activity, and those who have a family history of diabetes (usually type 2 diabetes). Over time, insulin resistance can lead to type 2 diabetes.
3. Inflammation: Women with PCOS often  have increased levels of inflammation in  their body.  Being overweight can  contribute to inflammation. Inflammation can cause high androgen  levels.
 4. Obesity: 80% of women with PCOS are  overweight. The inability of insulin to  function normally is one reason why    women with PCOS tend to gain weight or find it hard to lose weight
What are the symptoms of PCOS?
1. Irregular menstrual cycle: Women with PCOS may miss periods or have fewer periods (fewer than eight in a year). Some women with PCOS stop having menstrual periods.
2. Too much hair on the face, chin or parts of the body where men usually have hair: This is called “hirsutism.” Hirsutism affects up to 70% of women with PCOS.
3. Acne on the face, chest, and upper back
4. Thinning of hair or hair loss on the scalp: This is male-pattern baldness.
5. Weight gain or difficulty losing weight.
6. Darkening of skin, particularly along neck creases, in the groin, and underneath breast.
7. Skin tags, which are small excess flaps of skin in the armpits or neck area.
8. Infertility
Can I still get pregnant if I have PCOS?
Yes. Having PCOS does not mean one can’t get pregnant. PCOS is one of the most common, but treatable, causes of infertility in women. In women with PCOS, the hormonal imbalance interferes with the growth and release of eggs from the ovaries (ovulation). A person who doesn’t ovulate can’t get pregnant.
Your doctor can talk with you about ways to help you ovulate and to raise your chance of getting pregnant.
MY  OWN KIND OF TREATMENT
When a sufferer of PCOS comes to me , I ask her how far she has gone medically. Her blood sample must have been taken to check her hormonal levels. Her fallopian tubes should have been checked to see that they are not blocked. Since  a sufferer also has insulin resistance, I ask if she has ever checked her blood sugar levels. In fact, this is why a diabetic drug called Metformin is always part of PCOS treatment. I then start with these steps:
1. Since we have established that most sufferer of this hormonal imbalance are overweight, I encourage them to lose weight. She will be told the kind of diet to eat and will be encouraged to be exercising.
2. The liver is where our hormones are processed. If the liver is sluggish, things won’t work well. So, they will go through liver detoxification. By the way, do you even know where your liver is? Ok, put your hands on your right ribs; move your hand to where your rib ends. Are you there? Ok, that is where your liver is!
3. The ovaries will be detoxified.
4. You will be surprised that spices in your kitchen are very useful for treating this condition. Some of them are garlic, turmeric and garlic .
5. When the woman starts seeing her menses, I teach her on how to  track her ovulation periods. So she gets to understand the days to have sex.
After all has been done, if the fallopian tubes of the woman are “patent” (as doctors say), that is, if they are not blocked and the husband’s sperm count is normal, nothing stops them from hearing the patter of tiny feet in nine months!
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