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At exactly 10:42pm on 8th of March 2017, I wrote “Heaven I need a Hug” on my wall , perhaps I needed a hug considering the fact that I have several back logs and I was stressed at the time, but beyond that I wanted to see how people will respond , I wasn’t disappointed with the number of e-hugs I received within thirty minutes BUT two friends had to slide to my inbox and asked me to put down the post, one said it showed too much emotions and the other said “you are too strong to be perceived like a weak woman Esther , bring it down its not good for your brand”. Wetin concern personal brand with emotions ogini?

This is exactly the reason why people suffer and die in silence , imagine if all the people who committed suicide recently  put up a post similar to mine just to let people know they need help and get  such response from their friends?

Please let’s allow people express themselves on social media the way and manner they like, as a matter of fact I want to encourage anyone who is down, depressed or about to give it all up , put up a post and let’s know what you are going through , sometimes the closet people to us are our biggest problem and you cant tell your problem to a problem, it’s fine to seek help on Facebook or any other social media platform or other direct means.

Feel free to write messages such as :

“I am Depressed”
“I need help”
“I need to talk to someone ”
“Please help”
“I need a therapist”
“I need a counsellor ”
Etc etc etc

Just express yourself however you feel and I am sure someone out there will reach out to you. I am positive we have good people who truly care in Nigeria, all you need to reach them is to SPEAK UP!

I have been down that road before, and it’s not just being depressed because life happened or stress, I was in my world, the over analysing and over thinking stage where you feel living isn’t worth it anymore,  and I don’t pray to ever go there again, I was in self denial of my state of mind till a true friend who didn’t judge me asked that I seek help from a therapist . I am a survivor, no shame at all, and a proud Mental health advocate for She Writes Woman

If you need to talk to someone about your problems please reach out to the following people: Hauwa Ojeifo, Oyinkansola Alabi, Praise Fowowe , Laila St. Matthew-Daniel, Pamela Udoka.

I have a listening ear , I will give you a hug, give you my time and attention, walk you through the process but sadly I can’t offer you the professional help you need like the above mentioned persons. Please don’t die in silence , reach out, SPEAK UP and don’t let depression and suicide win.

Kindly add names of other therapist in the comment section ???.

Please seek help….

You are not alone…..

Selena Gomez is voicing her concern about the “terrible” effect that social media has had on her generation, and says she advocates taking breaks from the platforms.  

Gomez who is the third most followed person on Instagram after soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo and pop singer Ariana Grande, said during a press conference at the Cannes Film Festival that she gets “scared” when she looks at the exposure of young girls and boys on those platforms.

“They’re not aware of the news or anything going on. It’s selfish I don’t wanna say selfish because it feels rude but it’s dangerous for sure. I think our world is going through a lot, obviously. But for my generation, specifically, social media has been terrible,” she said.

Asked what more she could do to improve the social media environment, given her large following, Gomez said it is “impossible” at this point to make it safe. She also said she tries to be conscious when posting on Instagram, to avoid putting unnecessary pressure on her fans.

“I’m very grateful I have the platform in any way, I can still share things I’m passionate about. I don’t do a lot of pointless pictures. I like to be intentional with it.” “I see these young girls, I’ll meet them and they’re just devastated dealing with bullying and not being able to have their own voice” she said.

Gomez also called on people to take breaks in social media use:

“It can be great in moments, but I would just be careful and allow yourself some time limits when you should use it and when not.” 

Credit: LIB

You are offered a nice job position, in a nice communication agency, well located. You feel great.This was supposed to be the biggest announcement of 2019 so far.

First day : everyone is smiling at you, welcoming, but you don’t know how to act, feeling everyone’s look upon you. 15 days later, you’re done. Nobody speaks to you.

My first (and peculiar) reaction : asking Google about that. Because that state of loneliness hit me so hard that something in my head told be to check on the internet if I could share this with other people. I found several psychological/kind of depressing articles, but didn’t find anything appropriate. These were just a bunch of people complaining without giving advices about it.

Being connected to a social circle has never been so important as far as Facebook, Twitter Instagram or Snapchat have (or at least one of them) taken over our lives. (Really ?). But Internet is another problem.

At work, indifference is the greatest contempt

People at work can be even more cruel and can really destroy you for no particular reason. When you’re highly implicated, work hard, do the best you can and all of a sudden you feel so bad because you see people gathering themselves to talk, make private jokes, working (or acting like working) closely together, trust me, it is normal to feel left behind.

Welcome to ostracism. A land where your imagination is tortured everyday. It is not about being sensitive, because sensitivity is different from one person to another. It is strictly about being ignored.

So how can you handle at work ?

Right now, your boss is not talking to you anymore, and you’re one of these scared “millenial” that thinks that work should be a place where you can express yourself, in a blossoming workspace, with some intricate and thrilling frameworks, imagining stories that matters. And you’re not doing any of these things. You’re not fitting to the work spirit of the company, and now, panic-stricken.

All social interactions with your coworkers are slowly going down, to the point of not even saying “hello/goodbye”. It’s going wrong for real. And this ostracism can lead to depression, because feeling useless and hopeless

1 — Stop complaining

Did I mention that I’m French ? 
I think it is truly specific to my country. People are complaining every minute in advertising/digital agencies. About clients, about emails, about the amount of work, about the boss… This is clearly annoying. Their time spent complaining could be used doing real-work no ?

So if you’re being ostracized, be strong, and simply face this fact as it is. Being down-to-earth is very useful when facing that kind of situation. It is important to visualise the situation to better go forward and being less stressful.

2 — Dig up your mind

Ok so, now that you have understood the situation, let the anger and worries go and stop trying to make clumsy conclusions or getting ahead of yourself, asking “but why is this happening, what did I do, did I made something wrong, maybe I’m not good enough…” In every overrated advertising agencies, people are mostly the same, so you will face this situation in every one of them. Just sayin’. I’ve been working in agencies for 4 years, and it’s been exactly the same, most of the people are faking work.

“Think outside the box, make things that change things” (and other posh mottos), they said. Agencies are mainly copy and paste. They are baking and re-baking ideas since 1980’s, but with higher prices, using the same Istock / Getty / Shutterstock/ Thinkstock image banks. Using the same reportings with so low Facebook interactions, not even asking themselves what people would like to see when interacting with brands. It is really funny since I’m writing this from my desk, in a nice advertising agency, observing people writing emails, sending Gif or tagging themselves on the last Tasty recipe on Facebook.

If you are feeling alone and like you’re in the spam box, it’s seriously no big deal. You have now time to think about yourself and step back at how different you are, simply by speaking your mind and asserting yourself .

3 — Just do something else with your free time

Now that you are barely transparent, you can do things far more interesting than nothing. 
Meaning : “Great ! I’m out of this sham and mockery system.”
Read, take time for yourself, leave your phone, learn something you didn’t know. In a nutshell, be curious.

If you read this, you can now take a deep breath and play down the situation. And if you want more cool, follow me 🙂

By: Jennifer Capestan

LVMH and Rihanna’s fashion venture is finally materializing. Riri is set to present her first collection for the new label, which will be branded Fenty, later this month in Paris.

The label is called Fenty, after the singer’s full name – Robyn Rihanna Fenty, and will launch in Spring 2019.

Rihanna will become the first woman to create an original brand at LVMH, the first woman of color at the top of an LVMH Maison, and her line will be the first new house created by the group since Christian Lacroix in 1987. It joins such storied heritage brands as Dior, Givenchy, Celine and Fendi and positions Rihanna as a breakthrough designer on a number of levels.

The singer, who has 70 million followers on Instagram, is widely known for her bold fashion choices.

Fenty, which will produce clothing, shoes, and accessories, is the first new label under the LVMH brand since 1987. The label will join around 70 brands already in the LVMH group, including Louis Vuitton, Christian Dior, and Givenchy.

In a statement, Rihanna said that she had been given a “unique opportunity to develop a fashion house in the luxury sector, with no artistic limits.”

She added: “I couldn’t imagine a better partner both creatively and business-wise, and I’m ready for the world to see what we have built together.”

The chairman and CEO of LVMH, Bernard Arnault, said Rihanna would be supported with a team and resources.

“EVERYBODY KNOWS RIHANNA AS A WONDERFUL SINGER, BUT THROUGH OUR PARTNERSHIP AT FENTY BEAUTY, I DISCOVERED A TRUE ENTREPRENEUR, A REAL CEO, AND A TERRIFIC LEADER,” HE SAID.

The singer’s cosmetics brand, Fenty Beauty, reached nearly 500 million euros (£431 million) in sales by the end of 2018. The brand has been widely praised for its inclusivity.

Rihanna also launched her own Savage X Fenty lingerie line in 2018.

Credit: Fab Woman

19-year-old Nigerian medical student, Emediong Uduak Uko’s painting of music legend, ‘Lagbaja’ has become the first African work to be displayed at the Cyprus Modern Art Museum.

Emediong is also the youngest artist and only African to have her work exhibited at the museum, which is the largest in the Mediterranean region.

The excited artist shared the news on her Instagram page @Emilyuko where she further revealed that her painting is now in the possession of Forbes-listed Cypriot businessman, Suat Günsel.

Emediong explained in her social media post that she dedicated her painting to the iconic faceless singer, Lagbaja because he inspired culture and created both war and peace with his passion.

She wrote, “I’m pleased to announce to the general public that my artwork is now a part of the vast collection of the Cyprus Modern Art Museum!

“This is the largest museum in the Mediterranean region. My work is now in the possession of the owner of my university- Forbes listed Cypriot Businessman, Suat Günsel.

“Apparently, I am the youngest and only African Art piece in the entire museum with works dating as far back as 1940. Somebody pinch me!

“More importantly, this painting is dedicated to none other than the legendary Nigerian musician and political activist himself, Lagbaja. @officiallagbaja.

“I decided if I’m going to put a timeless piece in the walls of a foreign land, it should be about the ones back home.

“Sir, if you’re reading this, know that you’ve inspired a culture. You’ve created both war & peace with your passion and creativity and that is everything I stand for. This is the least I could do to show appreciation.

“I’d like to thank God and his Spirit that makes things possible through me- He placed me here. The fact that my art value has gone up more than 10x by reason of this event is still mind-blowing.

“To all the curators and friends who kept this huge announcement on the down-low and pumped me with endless support, I love you,” she said.

Emediong is also a muralist and mixed-medium artist who runs a budding arts company called Asher’s Palette.

Grammy Award-winning rapper, dancer, and record producer, Missy Elliott can now officially be called Dr. Elliot!

The pop star and icon was recognized on Friday, May 11, 2019, with an honorary doctorate from the Berklee College of Music.

She received the honorary doctorate alongside Justin Timberlake.

BOSTON, MA – MAY 11: Missy Elliott and Justin Timberlake attend the Berklee College of Music 2019 Commencement ceremony at Agganis Arena at Boston University on May 11, 2019 in Boston, Massachusetts. More than 1,100 students graduated in all and receiving honorary degrees were Missy Elliott, Justin Timberlake and Alex Lacamoire. (Photo by Paul Marotta/Getty Images for Berklee)

The pair was honored alongside award-winning Broadway performer and composer Alex Lacamoire – who was a former student of the institution, with all three receiving the Honorary Doctor’s Degree of Music for their “influences in music, and for their enduring global impact.”

Missy Elliot took to Instagram to share a video of her holding the framed diploma complete with graduation cap and gown.

“CREATE YOUR OWN LANE,” ELLIOTT SAID IN THE POST’S CAPTION. “SINCERELY DR. MISSY ELLIOT.”

View this post on Instagram

CREATE YOUR OWN LANE!!!! SINCERELY DR. MISSY ELLIOTT🙌🏾🙌🏾@BERKLEECOLLEGE👩🏾‍🎓 #VA #757

A POST SHARED BY MISSY ELLIOTT (@MISSYMISDEMEANORELLIOTT) ON MAY 11, 2019 AT 11:20AM PDT

“THERE WILL BE UPS AND DOWNS — PREPARE FOR THAT,” ELLIOTT SAID TO THE GRADUATING CLASS. “AS LONG AS YOU ARE BREATHING, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE. DON’T FORGET THAT. YOU HAVE COME TOO FAR TO QUIT.”

Elliott, who was born in Portsmouth, Virginia in 1971 to a welder at Portsmouth’s naval shipyard, is the first female hip-hop artist to receive an honorary degree from the Berklee College of Music.

Elliott has sold more than 30 million albums during the course of her career.

Credit: fabwoman.ng

Nse Ikpe-Etim just revealed that she will not be able to have kids due to a condition she had in the past called Adenomyosis, a condition whereby the inner lining of the uterus breaks through the muscle of the uterus. This condition required uterus removal, so Nse Ikpe-Etim had her uterus removed.

“I was told I couldn’t have kids,” she said.

“And so, I had to have a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) to make me have a life again and to stop going through what I was going through. And I’m literarily telling women and men, it really doesn’t matter if you can’t bear children. What really matters is what you would do for the world, for the universe.”

While talking about the time the doctor broke the news to them, she described how her husband had comforted her.

“Tears dropped and then my husband squeezed my hand. It was reassuring there was someone there and it was telling me that this is reality, my reality.”

Nse Ikpe-Etim, before getting married to her husband in 2013 had said that marriage wasn’t for her, but she still admits that she wasn’t born for marriage, but to make an impact in society. The actress says that she always wanted twins, but unfortunately, she had to remove her uterus, and that’s not possible.

“I didn’t think there was any point anymore because my society taught me that I have to be a mother to be appreciated and every time I went online, I would have one troll or two say ‘you never born?’

“But I’m thankful that that didn’t break me.”

Many years back, Nse Ikpe-Etim started a relationship in their teens and called it off. However, they still got back together and got married in 2013 on Valentine’s Day. She and her husband started dating as teenagers, and this is a relationship that they certainly can’t give up on.

Credit: Stargist

This week was the week proud new parents, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have presented their new-born son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor to the world. Also the week BBC Radio host Danny Baker was fired Thursday after tweeting out a cartoon the day before representing the new royal baby as a chimpanzee in a suit, with the caption: “Royal baby leaves the hospital.”

Baker, an award-winning host as well as a comedy writer and journalist, initially deleted the tweet and apologized for its contents.

“Sorry my gag pic of the little fella in the posh outfit has whipped some up,” he tweeted first. “Never occurred to me because, well, mind not diseased. Soon as those good enough to point out it’s possible connotations got in touch, down it came. And that’s it.”

As the backlash kicked off on social media, in a desperate attempt to make amends, Baker tweeted,

“Once again. Sincere apologies for the stupid unthinking gag pic earlier. Was supposed to be joke about Royals vs circus animals in posh clothes but interpreted as about monkeys & race, so rightly deleted. Royal watching not my forte. Also, guessing it was my turn in the barrel.”

Then he tried yet again, relaying an exchange at his door with a Daily Mail reporter. Baker’s irritation was showing as the reporter allegedly asked him, “Do you think black people look like monkeys?”

“This was a serious error of judgment and goes against the values we as a station aim to embody,” the BBC said in a statement Thursday, as the broadcaster decided to let the presenter go. “Danny’s a brilliant broadcaster but will no longer be presenting a weekly show with us.”

Shortly after he had been fired, Baker turned on his former employer for making the decision to let him go.

“The call to fire me from @bbc5live was a masterclass of pompous faux-gravity,” he tweeted Thursday. “Took a tone that said I actually meant that ridiculous tweet and the BBC must uphold blah blah blah. Literally threw me under the bus. Could hear the suits knees knocking.”

In an LBC interview after he was fired, Baker told James O’Brien: “It was put up there as a joke about class. It was supposed to be preposterous about toffs leaving. The idea that there was any racial basis for it … it came out of my own ignorance.

“I curdled that I thought anyone could have thought that was the intent behind that photo.”

A whole 24 hours after the radio host shared the offensive post the backlash continued with many criticising Baker, including ITV News anchor Charlene White who said, “To claim ‘ignorance’, and give a half-hearted apology – again full of jokey ‘banter’ – despite people highlighting just how clearly offensive it is, is also unacceptable. That’s not the world we live in now. Those who live in privilege must be held to account” and writer and broadcaster Afua Hirsch who tweeted: “Not only does Danny Baker post an image comparing a baby w African heritage to an ape, but he has the audacity to say problem is that those of us who point out how racist it is have ‘diseased minds’.”

Hirsch’s comment right here sums it all up For those still wondering what the brouhaha is all about – and there are indeed many of them still pondering all over Twitter and Facebook. One such today came across Mr O’s rant on Facebook and ventured to comment, “Pretty sure he meant it as ‘the kid is gonna become another royal monkey being controlled and pranced around by higher ups without proper freedom’ rather than anything racial. Completely unfair to fire him based on his post. From the statement also he didn’t mean it as some people understood it.”

What is perhaps equally as troubling as, if not more so than, Baker’s original tweet is the defence he offers for his actions, which is echoed by those who see no wrongdoing in Baker’s behaviour. And it can be summed up in two words: white privilege.

No need pointing out Baker’s race and privilege. Needless to add, the aforementioned clueless commentator is another member of the white privilege club where the colour of one’s skin and the privileges that naturally come with it make one blind to connotations and in fact blatant codes of racism, such as depicting the biracial offspring of the Duke and Duchess as a chimp.

White privilege is also the same disease that caused similar blindness in 2018 when H&M outraged its black audience with their ill-advised ‘coolest monkey in the jungle’ hoody, incidentally worn by a black kid.

Also the same disease which made Heineken and its supporters equally deaf to the racial undertones of the tagline ‘sometimes lighter is better’ the brand used to market its light beer.

There are countless examples from the world of modern media and advertising to show just how rampant white privilege still is and how so many are blind and deaf to the connotations of certain imagery and words which struck a chord with a racially diverse audience. But to suffer from the white privilege disease and then accuse those offended of having ‘diseased minds’? So glad karma served up real fast in the case of Danny Baker.

Source: Guardian

Sleep training is basically a process of helping a baby learn to sleep well, teaching your child how to sleep independently without help like rocking, backing, nursing, carrying, etc., which usually adds to your stress as a parent.

While we all understand the importance of food to the body, we fail to realise that sleep is more important, and is an essential part of human development. In fact, it is possible to go days without food, but just try going three or four nights in a row without sleep and you just might start hallucinating. Yes! That’s how dangerous lack of sleep is.

Now, as a parent, when you’ve not had enough consolidated sleep, consecutively for say three days, how do you feel? Tired, cranky, exhausted, unproductive—the list is exhaustive. The same can be said for kids. Imagine what your children go through each day when they are not having enough sleep, especially four-month-olds and above.

Benefits of good consolidated sleep

  • They are more alert at school, and easily grasp and comprehend things. Yes, children tend to be forgetful because, of course, they are kids. But their attention span and comprehension is better when they have slept properly.
  • Increase in concentration level is also noticeably better.
  • They are physically and emotionally healthy, as the brain repairs and recovery takes place during consolidated sleep period.
  • The growth hormone in children is developed adequately during sleep.
  • Mummy time becomes possible. I mean, imagine putting your feet up after a long day, with a glass of wine while reading a book, watching your favourite TV show or catching up on BellaNaija. Of course, your child must be fast asleep for you to truly enjoy it.
  • Extra bonding time with your partner. Now, for me this is just the icing on the cake! Who doesn’t love bonding time with zero interruption from your little one.

Some of the things holding us back include:

Co-sleeping with your child
While this may be seen as bonding in the beginning, it is a long term recipe for disaster, because you’ll never be able to get enough sleep.

Guilt as a working parent
You know those times you tell yourself you’re just going to bond with your child, but really you’re just bonding with your phone after a long day.

Impatience
Sometimes, we are just so impatient to put the child to sleep. You just don’t want to stop what you’re doing at the expense of your child’s health.

Easily give in to your child
Your child wants to continue watching cartoons till 11 PM, and you agree so he/she doesn’t cry or disturb your peace. This is wrong whichever way you look at it. Who is the parent, who is the child?

5 signs to know your child’s sleep pattern needs to be improved:

  • Your child throws too many unnecessary tantrums. We sometimes wrongfully assume that it is “normal” for kids to throw tantrums, but it really isn’t.
  • Your child cries too much, especially in the mornings.
  • If you have to wake the child up in the mornings, and the child is refusing to wake up or sleepy till he or she is ready for school.
  • You are in and out of hospital many days, except your child has a form of health challenge.
  • You aren’t as productive as you should be as a mum.

Creating a sleep pattern for your child needs consistency and a realistic sleep routine. When you are having a bit of challenge creating a consolidated sleep pattern for your child, as a child psychologist who is also a sleep consultant, I just advise parents to sleep train the child.

Sleep training is basically a process of helping a baby learn to sleep well, teaching your child how to sleep independently without help like rocking, backing, nursing, carrying, etc., which usually adds to your stress as a parent.

Children need, depending on their ages, an average of about ten to fourteen hours of consolidated (uninterrupted) sleep every day, while newborns need about fourteen to sixteen hours. I hear some mums say, I wasn’t sleep trained or taught to sleep and I grew up great, why should I teach my child to sleep? But what we forget as parents is that life sleep trained us.

Remember in those days there were no gadgets, DSTV, YouTube, unlimited access to internet. Children’s TV stations closed 7 PM. Your parents went to bed after the 10 PM news. There was no generator and when power went off, everyone retired to bed. So we were sleeping well and having uninterrupted sleep.

Fast forward to this digital age with everything 24 hours. 24 hours access to the internet, generator, TV, phones, etc. This lifestyle is greatly affecting our sleep pattern, thus affecting the quality of our sleep and health.

That is why it’s necessary to help your child develop a great sleep pattern now. Imagine their lives ten years down the line if nothing is done now in this digital age.

If your child isn’t having enough sleep, or you as a mum aren’t, you’re harming both of you. Is this what you really want? Or would you like to do something about it today? Think about it.

Source: Bellanaija


A lot of girls are growing up accepting the fact that the society has placed them in second place, and they are settling for just that.

I am sure we all saw the disturbing videos, read the stories of the women who were arrested and assaulted for going to night clubs. These women were arrested, and then harassed both physically and sexually, and guess what? There were people who found a way to justify these hideous acts.

Some people said, “Well, thank God they were sex workers and not normal women.” Others said, “As a woman, why are you out of your house by this time?” I saw a comment that struck me, and it came from a fellow woman; she said, “I wish they had done this earlier, and I hope they continue.” To the people, especially women, who left these heartless comments, let me break it down for you. I hope, for all our sakes, you really learn something.

First of all, these women were not arrested for being sex workers; they were arrested for being women who were out at night, and God forbid this ever befalls you or any woman you know.

Another thing: they are not ‘just sex workers,’ they are human. They are women before any other thing, and I hope everyone remembers this.

Women were raped and abused, and the first thing that comes to your mind is “What was she wearing?” “Why was she out by that time of the night?” “As a woman she should not be in the club at night.” I hope you learn that no Nigerian woman is safe, and I hope one day you join to make a positive change.

There were protests on May 4, 2019, and to those who went out to voice their pains, anger and support for a better society, we say thank you. We will keep pushing in our own little ways to achieve positive change.

Now, some people might think the police raid wasn’t close to them, so they weren’t bothered. Well, let me bring it home. A few days ago, a friend asked our group chat if it was okay for a woman to downplay her success because of a man. This was apparently because successful women scare suitors away, and I was glad when everyone said it was not okay to lower your standards for anyone. Why should a woman’s success be downplayed to fuel a man’s ego? You are a woman, and you deserve the same level of success and the right to celebrate your success, just as much as any man.

I can’t speak for other societies, but I can definitely speak for the Nigerian society when I say a lot of people (both genders) see women as lesser humans to their male counterparts. When men voice their displeasure, we often tag them heartbroken and hurt, but when a woman does the same she is seen as bitter and ungrateful. Many people say things like “no man will marry her,” “she is disgracing her family/children,” “she is just bitter, she should move on.” When a man does the same exact thing guess what people say. “Wow, thank God he dodged a bullet,” “I hope time heals his heart,” “I hope he finds someone better.” We have taught females, consciously and unconsciously, that silence is the way for them to be accepted.

The last time, I spoke about speaking up and not suppressing your emotions, and I am here to echo it once again: if you are woman hurt and emotional, speak your truth. Do not let the society make you suppress your feelings. You deserve to express your hurt and heartbreak the way you wish. Sadly, a lot of girls are growing up accepting the fact that the society has placed them in second place, and they are settling for just that.

I hope the younger generation works hard toward ensuring that gender inequality becomes history, and females in the future don’t have to downplay their success and emotions in order to be accepted. From so called moral standards, to success and achievements, up to self-esteem, women are constantly given the shorter end of the stick, and I hope this changes during our time.