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The world said goodbye to Holly Butcher, a 27-year-old woman from Grafton, Australia.

Butcher had been battling Ewing’s sarcoma, a rare bone cancer that predominantly affects young people. In a statement posted on Butcher’s memorialized Facebook account, her brother, Dean, and partner, Luke, confirmed the heartbreaking news to friends.

“It is with great sadness that we announce Holly’s passing in the early hours of this morning,” they wrote on Jan. 4, 2018. “After enduring so much, it was finally time for her to say goodbye to us all. The end was short and peaceful; she looked serene when we kissed her forehead and said our final farewells. As you would expect, Holly prepared a short message for you all, which will be posted above.”

Butcher’s message, which Dean and Luke did, in fact, post publicly shortly thereafter, has brought the internet to tears.

We believe her powerful message — which has amassed an incredible 72,000 Likes and 56,000 shares across the world so far — deserves to be spread far and wide.

Butcher used her final post to reflect on what she’s learned in her short but beautiful life, offering some advice to those of us who are willing to listen.

“It’s a strange thing to [realize] and accept your mortality at 26 years young,” she began. “I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and gray — most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts. That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.”

Butcher’s poignant post is definitely worth reading in full. But here are 16 especially powerful points:

1. “I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all, so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit. … Those times you are [whining] about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s OK to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively affect other people’s days.”

2. “Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that — breathe. You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. … I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.”

3. “I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise — be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them. .. Appreciate your good health and functioning body — even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is.”

4. “Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; more than I could ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

5. “This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus, imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves … strange! … but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. … Anyway, moral of the story — presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas.”

6. “Use your money on experiences … or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit. Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.”

7. “Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.”

8. “Listen to music … really listen. Music is therapy.”

9. “Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.”

10. “Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing OK?”

11. “Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.”

12. “Work to live, don’t live to work.”

13. “Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.”

14. “Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life. You might want a mediocre life and that is so OK.”

15. “Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.”

16. “Oh and one last thing. If you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year — a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.”

Butcher may be gone, but her impact will live on in the hearts and minds of people around the world.

“Never [met] her, but I am very touched and in tears,” one Facebook user commented. “Such a bright light for a seemingly dark world at times,” another chimed in. “Beautiful.”

What a wise soul she is,” someone concluded. “I’m off to donate my blood.”

Rest in peace, Holly. You made this world a better place. ❤️

 

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that

Goodness gracious, I was just frustrated.

I had made up my mind that if it persisted, I would fire her and hire another. However, somewhere inside, I feared the possibility of hiring someone even worse. I mean, there were no guarantees, no way to know them until after they start working for you. So, you know, the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t.

What am I on about? My domestic help.

I had done all the right things, from before the recruitment process up until creating the right job description and aid for her. Why was she slacking so much still, being half as efficient as I expected her to be? And worse, I was comparing her to my previous help.

Thankfully, before I made the decision to fire her, I did a quick self-audit of my person and processes as a boss at home, and received sense. One of the biggest lessons from all my many investments in leadership is that when things are going awry, the first person to check is the leader. When a leader gets better, chances are that everyone and everything gets better (learned that from one of my leadership podcasts).

I consider my home a platform to practice my leadership skills, so I am very intentional about that.

The result of my self-audit was humbling. I was doing OK until it came to monitoring. I had delegated and then abdicated complete responsibility to someone who was not ready for it, and who was not mature enough to work well without supervision (like most people write on their CV).

Plus, in all fairness, since she resumed work at mines four months ago, I had been so slammed with life that I hadn’t even taken the time to properly train her like I trained the previous help, who, by the way, was older and more mature. I just handed her a list with instructions and threw her right into the middle of the sea to find her way to shore.

So for all her slacking—and though she deserves some of the blame—it was really my fault. I started to make amends immediately. They were sure to cost me more time on the short run, but if I handled it right, it would buy me more time on the long run.

I am a long run kinda chick, so I wore my big girl boss panties. I decided that I would put in the work and time it demanded to supervise and evaluate her work every single morning, evening, and as need be. Since I already had a list, I just needed to follow my own list.

Mondays, you are to clean the toilets and mop the stairs, among other chores. Monday morning, we both go over the list together. I read it out and make sure she gets it all.

When I go into the toilet at some point in the day, I take my time to supervise that work. If it isn’t done right, I call her back to do it and show her how to get it done. So some processes need to be worked on before the end of the day.

Monday night, we go to the list again. “Did you do XYZ?” If yes, fine. We go through those tasks to be sure they were done right. If no, and for no sensible reason, I make sure she does it before she sleeps. I am not being wicked, I am being a good leader.

Consistency is very important in leadership, and if people see your inconsistency, they will not take you and things you tell them to do seriously. In fact, you will be considered a weak leader, even if they do not say it that way. So I don’t have a problem with getting you to complete the work you were to do during the day and didn’t do at night after the kids have gone to bed, so long as it doesn’t put you at risk or in danger.

For example, if you were to do a task outside the home, I would not send you out late to do it, but I would be sure to mention your slack and my unhappiness about it and insist you do it the next day.

Things started to change after that. Knowing that there was someone on her tail, she started to carry out her tasks both in a timely and efficient manner. We are still in the first few days of doing that, so I am still very closely monitoring (and low-key griping about how much time this is taking me). The good thing is that this will not be the case for too long. After some time, I can ease up to doing this monitoring three times a week, then once a week, and maybe once a month. But I cannot afford to completely abdicate again.

My check-ins too will be random, so she is not exactly preparing for it, and if this process is done right, complete with rewards and penalties, things should be running as smoothly as I would want on the home front in a couple of months. And then I can ease up and invest my time in other things like my at-home business, my kids, or sleep without wondering if she actually cleaned under the bed Tuesday this week.

Ok, so now, your turn.

You are not just a stay-at-home parent, honey. You are a leader at home. You provide leadership for your kids, your husband (yes, because in some matters, you are boss and that is okay if you navigate it with wisdom), your domestic help and any other person that lives in your home.

The principle behind leading your domestic staff right also can apply to every other human relationship in your home. Again, wisdom.

And when it comes to your domestic help, hire right and be sure that before you fire, you have checked yourself to be sure that the fault is not really yours.

Cheers to rocking out that domestic kingdom like a boss, and with the right tools of leadership.

Let me know how this helps you. Email is eziaha@eziaha.com

Source: Bellanaija

The lifelong dream of American actress Racquel Bailey to star in a Tyler Perry project, has finally come true.

The actress got a lot of attention, including from Perry, earlier this year when she took out a billboard announcing her as the his “next leading lady”.

According to TMZ, Bailey has actually landed a role in Perry’s new TV project, “Sistas”, in which she will appear as a police officer who had a relationship with one of the show’s leads.

Back in June, Perry, 49, shared a photo of the billboard on Instagram, but advised people to save their money and audition instead, to stand a chance to star in any of his projects.

Perry pointed out that this “is the third time that someone has done this,” telling actors, “This is not the way to get my attention if you’re looking for a role in one of my shows.”

“Again, the best way to work for me is to AUDITION and it’s FREE! We post breakdowns all the time for actors. JUST COME AND AUDITION,” he wrote.

Bailey is expected to appear in the first season finale, and possible in Season 2.

Photo credit: @iamraquelbailey

Twin sisters, Cipriana and TK Quann, used to hate their natural textured curls and felt like they always had to straighten it because of the play the heavy with they experienced before. But after developing the confidence to proudly wear their hair natural, they are now getting paid for it! In fact, they have found huge success by being true to themselves, and they’re now inspiring others to do so as well!

“I was beginning to actually hate my hair and seeing it as a huge obstacle,” Cipriana said in an interview with Cosmopolitan.

Cipriana and TK said they have heard several derogatory comments about their textured hair.

Thus, they tried to fit into the so-called standard of beauty by applying different chemical straighteners and relaxers on their hair. Still, they are struggling and unhappy with what they are doing.Not until they decided to embrace their gorgeous natural tresses. Aside from becoming famous for their trademark hair, they also felt great because they are more comfortable being themselves.

Born in Baltimore, the identical twins are now based in the fashion capital of the world, New York.

They have been featured in several fashion magazines including Essence, Glamour, Vogue, Elle, and Harper’s Bazaar and collaborated with multiple fashion brands such as Gap, Rebecca Minkoff, and Carol’s Daughter. The twins also inspire others to be themselves through their Instagram as well as the lifestyle website Urban Bush Babes.

Cipriana co-founded the site with Nikisha Brunson, who is also an African-American influencer, with the aim to support and encourage women of color to embrace their natural beauty.

TK, who is also a musician who goes by TK Wonder, also contributes to the blogs for the site.Cipriana and TK could be two different people but they are one in working to promote diversity and inclusivity in the world of fashion and beauty. It’s just an extra that their passion is also their work.

This article was originally published on wundef.com

 

 

Credit: hzeppfeed.com

Speaking during a radio interview, Juliet Ibrahim appreciated the apology, but said she feels like it’s coming too late.

“I feel like it’s coming too late, but I appreciate the fact that he’s apologizing and he’s clearing the air. Cos I remember when it started, everybody was claiming and attacking me. I have no idea why they will always attack the woman when something happens or when breakup happens”.

Speaking on how she was able to breeze through the negative reactions that followed their breakup, Juliet Ibrahim said:

“Well, that was life. I went through it. I was strong enough to ignore all the negative comments and negative remarks that were made on me and attacks. I’m just glad”.

“I know he’s a very good person, so for him to do this, I just hope that it helps with the healing he talked about. I’m glad that he came out and everybody knows what happened”.

When asked if she has forgiven Iceberg Slim, she said:

“Oh, I have a long time ago”.

When asked if she will go back to him, the actress said:

“Oh, how? No o”.

See video below:

 

 

 

 

Credit: Bella Naija

One person’s so-called testimony here was another’s source of nightmare.

I hear people say there are three truths to every story: your truth, the other person’s truth, and the real truth. They say this means they’re all true, but it depends on whose angle of the story you hear.

There’s another saying that I’ve heard often, too, and it is: “There’s only one truth.” This came to mind when I heard the story I’m about to share. Coincidentally, I heard it from both sides.

I met Kema at a breakfast meeting I attended in London. She came to give a testimony to encourage people at the meeting. She explained how she had been trying to get into England for a long time, but kept getting refused a visa at the embassy. Until a relative sponsored her application, so she could work as an overseas domestic worker. She got an education in the process, as they were very kind to her, and now she had been in the UK long enough to start processing her papers for stay.

This miracle, however, was not the subject of the day’s testimony. Along the line, she fell out with the relative on account of them being in the habit of reading her her life story at every infraction. She’s only human and she was young. Also, she wasn’t given a chance to have a life. She had to be on duty 24/7 on a pay that was a joke. It was so bad it was bordering on abuse. She bore it, but kept praying about her situation. Before long, her prayers were answered.

Some friends of the relatives who lived in Nigeria had bought a massive house in the country side. They had the idea to furnish the house and let it out as a studio for films or documentaries. The house thus was fully kitted, and they needed a manager to run it. They thought of Kema, and she was elated. She earned a salary tax free, with no overheads. We were all so thrilled for her.

I bumped into Kema at the salon in Lagos about two years after, and she had another testimony. This time, she related how the family with the house were wicked and stingy people. How she managed the house so well that from them barely getting clients when they started, with her they began to be fully booked. There was even a waitlist. She made them pots of money. But, sometimes, when they didn’t have clients, she would let her friends use the house.

Anyhow, a frenemy or her relative snitched on her to the family, and without giving her a chance to explain they fired her, and even tried to report her to the authorities for deportation. But, ‘small girl, big God’ things, they failed. Can you imagine?

She now has her papers, and can come to Nigeria on holidays sometimes. Isn’t God good all the time?

About three months after this, at a Women’s Conference in Lagos, we broke into small working committee groups. This issue of women supporting women came up, and a lady in my group, let’s call her Lady A, nearly spat at the concept. She explained how she decided to invest in a property in the UK and she set it up to use as a studio. She was able to get a loan from a fund structured for her by her son. There was a TV company that gave her a 12-month lease to use the studio. The agreement stated that they would pay her monthly, so the fund was happy to loan her to do up the place. However, they had an MOU that was the true reflection of their transaction. They didn’t need the studio every month, and they would be able to sublet it to other people when they were not using it. If they could do so for more than the rent, they would split the proceeds with Lady A. She was very happy. Lady A needed a manager, and she wanted a woman and a Christian. She met Kema in church through Kema’s relatives. Kema told her the horror of her situation and she gave her the job. She felt she could trust her to run it properly for her as a woman, fellow Nigerian and a Christian. She felt she would be so grateful she helped her situation, and would value the opportunity. She went back to Nigeria happy.

All Kema had to do was organise the upkeep of the house, and take stock with the clients before and after each show to make sure there was no damage or loss. She also managed the bookings. There was no need nor mention of her looking for clients for the house, Lady A said. After a while, she began getting emails from the TV company about her breaching their understanding, because each time they found a client to rent the studio when they were not using it, Kema would tell them it wasn’t available. They were threatening to pull out of the deal.

Lady A didn’t understand what was going on because she was getting paid, and all the while thought it was coming from the TV studio. When the threatening emails didn’t stop, Lady A went to London.

It was then she found out Kema had been letting the studio out on the side, for more than Lady A was charging, and not letting the TV studio let it as they agreed with Lady A. The TV station thus refused to renew the contract, and without that Lady A could not secure the loan, and the fund wanted their loan back. She almost lost the house and the whole investment. She went after Kema. In trying to fraudulently make a side hustle that she didn’t work for, she had ruined Lady A’s business. Someone who just set out to help another young woman. However, luck struck for Lady A when her son found her an events company who made her the same deal, but better, as they were going to run it themselves.

When this happened, she decided to forgive Kema and leave her to her own fate. I was also shocked to find out that apart from the fact that no frenemy or relative snitched on Kema, Lady A was not even aware Kema had no papers at the time, talk less of her processing any.

Lady A said she has now vowed never to help on the basis of gender or race or religion, as it almost cost her and her family dearly. It took a lot for me not to mention that I knew Kema and state her version of things, as I knew that would be like picking at a sore. I just made a note to self to be mindful about other people’s testimonies and comparing my life or my luck or my miracles or lack of for that matter.

One person’s so-called testimony here was another’s source of nightmare.

Ghanaian actress and movie producer, Ynonne Nelson has shared the story of how she lost a telecommunications deal when she opened up to the company that she was few months pregnant. The mum of one shared the story while reacting to news of Kenyan Lawmaker, Zuleikha Hassan, who was thrown out of the Chambers for bringing her sick baby to work.

She wrote:

I’ll tell you mine, a telecommunication company dropped me because i came clean and told them i was pregnant, they wanted me to shoot an ad, told them i had 3 months more to go and assured them i could come to work right after! Guess what, the lady who called didn’t even say congrats she said ‘ sorry yvonne, the dynamics will change’ i was hurt! I was broken! All these and more made me stronger!! IM PROUD TO BE A MOTHER!!!! Best decision ever! I will forever WIN!!!!! #proudmum #woman #africa

We need to use Integrated Pest Management systems to effectively control pest and prevent illegal use.

I once came across a video of a woman trying to buy stockfish from a man. She was asking him why he uses Sniper to preserve the stockfish, and he said, “Everybody dey use am, nobody dey wey no dey use am.” Shock gripped me as I watched the video. Then I quickly remembered a rumor I had heard, that this same sniper was used to preserve beans.

A few days prior to that, a lady had used Sniper to wash her hair and died in her sleep. Sniper is a pesticide not food preservative. We need to understand that sniper is intended for use as a pesticide for crops. Farmers and traders shouldn’t use it to preserve food.

Pests, which are organisms that attack food, crops and livestock, can become a menace to farmers if not properly mitigated against or handled. They are disease-carrying organisms that destroy farmlands, clothing, buildings, etc. Examples of pest are: termites, caterpillars, mosquitoes, fleas, cockroaches, bedbugs, weeds, snakes, rats. Pests are not generally harmful; they are only harmful when they are detrimental to plants, animals or humans. They can be beneficial under different circumstances or conditions. These pests often lead to a low crop yield for farmers, because of destruction of their produce before harvest, or even while in storage. Hence, the reason pesticides are used to curb their impact on crops and animals.

The World Health Organization (WHO) defined pesticides as a universal name given to different forms of chemical compounds used to kill pests. Fungicides, biocides, herbicides and insecticides are all forms of pesticides used. There are several pesticides that have been banned in Nigeria, but Nigerians, for selfish reasons, continue to use them on food, crops and livestock. Examples of these banned pesticides are: Aldrin, Carbamates, DDT, Toxaphene.

Environmental & Health Effects of Pesticides

  1. Pesticides pollute water, which can lead to the death of waterbodies such as fish.
  2. They lead to soil pollution that accumulates in the soil for up to 20 years or more, and may appear in the food chain (bioaccumulation and biomagnification).
  3. Air pollution is a major effect of pesticides, and can lead to severe health problems.
  4. The health effects of pesticides are limitless, because one health problem can lead to another. Examples are: skin diseases, respiratory problems, food poisoning, cancer and can eventually lead to death.

There are three main ways pesticides can be introduced to humans. They are: dermal (skin), oral (mouth) and inhalation (nostrils) exposures. Now traders have started using it directly on produce [fresh fruit and vegetables grown for the market] to prevent pests without informing the buyers.

Although the use of pesticides is necessary, it is to be used under policies and guidelines that have been approved by the regulatory bodies responsible. Which is why the proper implementation of Integrated Pest Management is needed urgently in Nigeria.

So what is Integrated Pest Management (IPM)?

As defined by Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), “Integrated Pest Management (IPM) is an effective and environmentally sensitive approach to pest management that relies on a combination of common-sense practices.”

Food and Agricultural Organization (FAO) of the United Nations defines IPM as “the careful consideration of all available pest control techniques and subsequent integration of appropriate measures that discourage the development of pest populations and keep pesticides and other interventions to levels that are economically justified and reduce or minimize risks to human health and the environment.”

IPM is an effective way of handling pest management, using methods such as pest-resistant plants, natural predators, and other methods. They can be cultural, mechanical, physical and biological. There are different pest strategies and tactics that can be used to effectively eliminate pest problem, without farmers or market individuals using it directly on food products, which can cause harm to humans. Some steps such as intercropping with aromatic herbs to prevent insects, crop rotation and pruning, are examples of strategies in IPM.

While speaking with the Environmental Safeguard Specialist of the Transforming Irrigation Management in Nigeria (TRIMING) Project, Oyebankole Agbelusi, he mentioned the importance of IPM in Nigeria. Lack of adequate knowledge on the effects of the wrong usage of pesticides or the usage of banned pesticides is what has led some Nigerians to use pesticides, such as sniper, to preserve dry fish and other food produce in the market, and even go as far as using it on the human body.

Most recently, it is being used as a suicide drug, which has led to hundreds of death across the country. Around June this year, it was published across media outlets that the Senate is looking to ban sniper as a pesticide in Nigeria. Our problem is beyond the banning of one pesticide. What then happens to the one the market traders use on our food that causes diseases which lead to death. The difference between suicide and this is: suicide is an individual decision, but the use of sniper and other pesticides on food directly is Nigerians slowly killing fellow Nigerians because of their pockets. 

We as citizens of this great nation need to do better. Just like the woman that sent the video of the man using it in Oyingbo market, we need to report such cases and take necessary actions. Most importantly, we need to use Integrated Pest Management systems to effectively control pest and prevent illegal use.

Source: Bellanaija