self development Archives

In self development January 3, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

7 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULDN’T GIVE UP

I just can’t do it anymore!” ,

“I am tired of life”

We have all said it at least once in our life, at least I have, but before you throw in the towel and give up totally why don’t I encourage you huh? You need to tell yourself these 8 things to give yourself the last ounce of motivation you need to accomplish the impossible:

1. Take a break

Oh dear Lord, I do this all the time, I did last week as a matter of fact. I was overwhelmed with everyhting around me, so I deleted my Facebook and removed my account from my multi-Instagram account for my sanity. Here is what you can also try; Get up, stretch and take a brief walk. Even taking a few minutes away from a stressful situation can help you come back with a fresh mind and determination to tackle your difficult task.

2. I’m doing this for a reason

Remember why you started. Maybe you picked up a second job to provide for your family. No matter the task, remind yourself why you need to follow through. Remembering the purpose behind your daunting load can give you the motivation to carry on. Keep a “Grateful Journal” too, it helps you appreciate your journey.

3. Ask for help

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of humility. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed, especially from your friends or Inner circe. The people who love you want to help you any way they can.

4. Gratitude

List at least five things you’re grateful for, starting with life itself. It can be tough to come up with things you’re thankful for when you feel like the world is crumbling, but take a moment to focus on the good in your life.

5. Let go of Negativity!

Give up things that are holding you back – negative thoughts about yourself, frustration, worry or whatever else. You will find it’s easier to focus when worrisome thoughts are pushed out of your mind.

6. Yes I can !

Whatever your challenge may be, you’ve got this. You’ve done hard things before and you can do it again. Assume your Wonder Woman pose and conquer your responsibilities like the super hero you are.

7. Focus on one thing at a Time

Break your large project into smaller tasks to make it easier to accomplish. For example, if your goal is to have a clean home, focus on one room at a time. Looking at the project as a whole can be overwhelming and leave you stressed and unmotivated to continue. Tackle one thing at a time, and you’ll be surprised at how much you can accomplish.

Kindly like, follow and drop your comments, or perhaps add your recommendations too.

Esther Ijewere

Follow me on my social media accounts for more Inspiring contents

Instagram: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/estherijewere/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/esther.ijewere

In Entertainment January 2, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Toke Makinwa Wants us to Start Year 2020 with some Positive Energy | Watch Toke Moments

Toke Makinwa is starting the year with loads of positive energy, and she wants us to do the same.

In the first episode of “Toke Moments” for year 2020, Toke shares some lessons she learned in 2019, and she advises that we surround ourselves with people who give us positive energy.

She also sends a special message to online trolls, asking them to tread carefully in 2020 because it’s a “high voltage” year.

She wrote:

Its the 1st of the first month of the year and I am serving energy. Happy new year to all the Toke Moments Lovers out there, hires hoping your year is as beautiful and impactful as you desire. Thank you all for rocking with me, I honestly cannot thank you all enough. Please subscribe to my youtube channel and lets have so much more fun in 2020. The vision is simple, you don’t like something , stop making excuses, quit it and turn up High voltage to the things that feed your soul. I love you all, TM.

Watch the video below:

Source BELLANAIJA

In self development January 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

4 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE BETTER OFF AS FRIENDS WITH HIM

Sometimes the line between like and love can be hard to distinguish. We’ve all been in that one relationship with a guy where all the pieces fit together perfectly.

He was charming and smart and funny and sweet and you get along like gangbusters. But in spite of all of this, there was a little voice in your head wondering…

“Would we be better off just as friends?”

Let’s get one thing straight right now: There is nothing WRONG with friendship.

Friendship is dope as hell and really rewarding for the people in it. How can you tell if he’s a perfect boyfriend or better off as your bud? There are lots of different signs, but we’ve pulled together the big ones to help you out.

Here are 4 signs you and your boyfriend are better of just as best friends

1.You can’t imagine a future together

You’ve been dating exclusively for a little while now. So it’s natural you stop to think about the future.

Not so natural?

Maybe you just can’t picture it. Or you don’t like what you see. You like him a lot, maybe you even love him, but when you think about making a life with him in it you draw a blank.

2. You love him but not that way.

When your friends talk about how much they love their boyfriends you get worried. Sure, you LOVE your boyfriend, but you aren’t on cloud nine or anything.

He’s a great guy, you take care of each other, you’ve got a lot of common interests. But it doesn’t seem like the storybook love affair true love is supposed to be. That’s because it isn’t … it’s true friendship.

3. You hate living with him.

You guys have been living together for a while and… You can’t stand it. It’s not that you each have quirks and need to get used to each other. It’s that you aren’t compatible as living partners romantically. You’d be better off as buddies, hell, even as roommates.

4. You want to open the relationship up.

Your relationship is going just okay. You have sex, and it’s also just okay. You don’t want to break up because it feels like there’s no real reason to. But you want to open up the relationship so that you can meet new people. Boredom and dissatisfaction in your relationship is not a sign you should open things up.

It’s a sign you’re dating a friend and not a lover.

Kindly like, follow and drop your comments, I will love to hear from you *winks*

Follow me on my social media accounts for more Inspiring contents

Instagram: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/estherijewere/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/esther.ijewere

In self development January 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

4 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE A PEOPLE PLEASER

Do you find it hard to say No?

Do you obsess about what others think of you?

Do you seek validation for everything and from everyone?

Do you feel sad when you disappoint others even at the detriment of your mental health?

If you say yes to all of these, you are likely a chronic people pleaser and this article is just for you.

Incase you ask how I know these things, It’s because I was a people pleaser (Still recovery though lol) for the longest time till I worked on myself and focused on the rule of “Self before others”.

Here are 3 common signs of chronic people-pleasing and some ways to overcome it:

1. You’re Incapable of Saying No

Do you find it painfully hard to turn down the requests of family, friends, and even acquaintances or strangers? You really want to say no, but instead, you say yes to their various demands.

Before you know it, you’ve become the go-to person when something needs to get done. From the small to the large, you take on every task. You may even be considered a hero to some.

On the inside, you’re suffering. You genuinely want to help others, but you also know that you are depleting your own resources with every “yes.” You may fear that you’ll lose your friendships and good reputation by saying no. After all, last thing you want to be called is selfish.

Solution

First, realize that your capacity to care for others and your capacity to care for yourself are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the two are intimately related.

Second, understand that you are not responsible for the happiness of those around you. They are. Let these two realities give you permission to say no. Start practicing with small requests. Refuse kindly, and without apology.

2. You feel sad When You Discover Someone Doesn’t like You

This is a hard one. It seems reasonable to assume that if you go out of your way to please everyone, then everyone will like you. But it’s not true. Some people will dislike you simply because of who you are or for reasons outside of your control. You understand this intellectually, but you cannot stop trying to win the few holdouts.

Solution

Closely examine your desire to be liked by everyone. Did this originate in your childhood, as you tried to win the affections of family members or friends at school? Use tools such as reflection, meditation, and counseling to help you let go of past negative experiences.

As social beings, we need to be loved and accepted – but not by everyone. Decide whose love and affection is worth the effort and whose is not.

3. You’re Unaware of How Far You’re Willing to Go – Until You’re in over Your Head

This is a sure sign that you lack proper boundaries like my old self . You avoid setting limits because you believe this runs counter to having a generous spirit. But this simply allows people greater latitude to intrude into your life. The requests may become more and more unreasonable and you may not realize it until someone has crossed the line.

If you’ve taken on too much, you may experience passive aggressive behavior, crying for no apparent reason, anxiety, or depression.

Solution

Be willing to admit that your time and energy are limited, not because you’re selfish, but because it’s the truth. Boundaries are simply a recognition of that truth. Do not be afraid to set your boundaries and enforce them. It will take a while for you and others to get used to it, but you’ll experience an increased sense of well-being, and people will learn to accept your limits.

4. You Avoid Making Decisions or Sharing Your Opinions

Do you have a hard time voicing your opinions and feelings in a group setting or with close friends? Do you constantly allow others to make decisions for you? Oh dear, this was me for many years, oops!

Over time, this behavior is deadly, because as you defer to the opinions and decisions of others, you are silencing your own voice. This will rob the world of your unique perspectives and gifts.

Solution

Remember that you can disagree without being disagreeable. People can have diverse opinions and still treat each other with respect and kindness. So give voice to your thoughts, concerns, and needs.

Also, If you sometimes feel resentful towards others and you don’t know why….

This often happens when we suppress our feelings and needs over the long term.

Do you feel unexplained anger toward your close friends, spouse, or boss? The anger is your subconscious telling you that you have been neglecting yourself while helping others advance their goals. Think of this resentment as the “check engine” light turning on in your car. Don’t ignore it.

Solution

Face the truth of what is going on in your life. If you’re feeling overextended or taken advantage of, acknowledge these feelings. Avoid second-guessing yourself. Find time for self care, and make this a priority.

By Esther Ijewere

Kindly like, follow and drop your comments, or perhaps add your recommendations too. I will like to know what has worked for you.

Follow me on my social media accounts for more Inspiring contents

Instagram: Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/estherijewere/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/esther.ijewere

In self development January 2, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

11 WAYS TO BE A MORE LOVING PARTNER

“Are you in a relationship presently and you are trying to figure out how to love your partner more?”

“Are you about to go into one and need to know how to love your partner right ?”

This article is for you!

Read on and learn some of the doable ways in which you can learn how to love — become more loving, win your partner back, and enjoy a satisfying relationship. Once you know what genuine love looks like, it will be easy to implement.

Most people mistakenly think that love is a feeling. Here’s the thing, they have it all wrong.

In order to be more loving, you have to understand what love truly is. It’s not just a feeling. It’s a Commitment. It’s an Action. It’s a Decision..

It’s understandable why we’re confused about love. The movie industry has put a spell on us. They have us believe that two people can fall in love.

True, genuine love begins after the spell wears out, after the honeymoon ends and real life begins.

Are you ready to become a more loving partner? You look ready to me. Let’s go!

1. Commit to Your Relationship

Decide that you are going to be in the relationship; that you are going to work toward its growth; that you will nourish it to the best of your ability. Without that commitment, you don’t have the necessary foundation to build a loving relationship. That is why this first step is crucial.

If you have that commitment, read on.

2. Invest Time

The workaholic who works 60 hours a week might say, “I love my family so much. I’m working hard to provide for them.” That’s not love. Remember, love is not a feeling; it’s not words. It’s an action that you decide to take. One of the most important ways to demonstrate love is to spend time with the person you love. After all, time is our most prized possession. You show someone you love them by spending quality time with them.

If you want to become more loving, find time every day to connect with your loved one. You can do this with a text, a phone call, or a lunch date. Be creative.

3. Communicate Your Love

There are countless and effective ways to do this. Find ways to communicate your love through action. Bring home a treat, do the dishes, make dinner, leave a note in his favorite coffee mug, etc. Before he leaves for the gym, my husband takes off his chain and sets it on his nightstand.

As a writer, one of my favorite guidelines is, show, don’t just tell. By doing this, the writer provokes a reaction from their readers, helps them feel the emotion the character is feeling. This works in real life as well.

Take an action, however small, that SHOWS your partner you love them.

4. Acknowledge the Thoughtful Things Your Partner Does

One of the ways to be a more loving partner is to acknowledge all your partner does for you. You might be taking your partner for granted and not even realizing it.

Do you thank them for doing the laundry, walking the dog, making dinner, doing the dishes, working out, replacing the soap and shampoo before it runs out, etc? There are a million little things that keep a home going, and it’s easy to forget that someone is doing it. Acknowledge it.

5. Be Supportive

In what ways can you be supportive to your partner? Maybe it’s supporting a hobby they have, or wishing them a fun girl’s day out, or being there for every music recital, etc. When you’re supportive, your partner will feel like they can’t fail. It will provide the encouragement they need to keep going and have fun at the same time.

6. Provide Space

Clinginess can ruin a relationship. Too much of anything can be deleterious to its survival. Yes, it’s good to spend time together. In fact, I recommend it, but it’s also good to find a healthy balance.

Providing space means you allow your partner to express himself/herself in the way they enjoy. Allowing your partner time with friends and family is important. You don’t have to be by their side 24/7.

“We all need time to explore, reflect, and express ourselves individually.”

Create a space for your partner so that they can express their creativity. Let them be them without you. Remember, they were someone long before you came along.

7. Avoid Put Downs

Here’s the thing, when you’re in a relationship, you pretty much know everything about your partner–the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s easy to resort to put downs when you’re angry and upset about something they’ve done.

For example, let’s suppose they’re late for a movie. It happens. Don’t start in with, “Late again?! Jeez, you’re never on time, you moron!” Or, “No wonder your parents are disappointed by you!”

What are you trying to accomplish? It certainly doesn’t sound like you’re having a constructive discussion. It actually sounds like a war in progress.

We have enough strife in the world. Don’t allow it to infiltrate your home. Speak with respect. Let love be the motivator, not pettiness.

8. Be Willing to Compromise

Relationships are partnerships. Often, one or both of the people involved forget that; they’re a little too self-absorbed, always wanting what they want when they want it regardless of how their partner feels.

Since all relationships require some form of compromise to be successful, the couple has to work as a team. It’s always a give and take. Willingness to compromise can go a long way in creating happiness and feelings of well-being in the relationship.

9. Listen

You might think you’re listening, but next time your partner is talking, pay attention to your thoughts. What are you thinking? Are you really listening? Are you formulating your answer? Have you tuned out? True listening requires a great deal of effort, but it is a gift to the person who is feeling heard.

When you truly listen, the other person feels valued, important, like they matter. And isn’t that a gift you want to give your partner? It doesn’t cost a thing, but the dividends are priceless. True listening is the encapsulation of love.

Try this exercise, ask your partner a question, then really listen. Don’t get discouraged if your mind wanders for a spell, bring it back and re-focus. Your partner will sense your attentiveness and be ever so grateful.

10. Drop Old Issues

It might sound crazy to bring up past issues and hurts while in an argument, but couples do it all the time. There is no reason to bring up the past. Ask yourself: “What’s the point? What am I trying to accomplish? Am I trying to fix the problem or make it worse?” Old issues have no place in the present. Let them go. Concentrate on the here and now.

The bottom line is: make your relationship stronger, not weaken it.

11. Learn to say “Sorry” and mean it

People make mistakes. It’s good to apologize. Not just a fake apology, but a true, heart-felt apology. Apologies go a long way to repair a broken relationship. If you are in the wrong, say it. Mean it. Make sure the person understands that you are making amends.

You are not going to come off as weak if you say you’re sorry. Not only will you validate your partner’s feelings, you’ll gain respect. More than likely, your partner will say something like, “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean that.” Make amends when you need to. Your partner will look at you with the loving eyes you crave.

Final Thoughts

Love is the most beautiful thing on earth. Being loving is the most amazing gift you can give. All the heart flutters, the butterflies in the belly, and the buckling knees, can’t replace genuine loving acts.

Don’t allow your relationship to be fed by simply stringing a set of words together. It takes a great deal more than that. It takes a Commitment, an Action, and a Decision. Done over and over again.

You have everything you need right here. It’s the start you need to make it to the finish line of your relationship. If your relationship has suffered an injury, implement the above tips for a week, a month. See what happens.

Esther Ijewere

In self development January 1, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

YEWANDE JINADU: 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN NEGOTIATING A NEW SALARY

Salary is very important in the life of an employee. In fact, that is the reason why people leave their houses every day to go to work. A lot of people have made mistakes in the area of negotiation, and I can totally relate with it. This is for those thinking of making the next move in their career, but don’t want to later regret their salary due to lack of information.

Know the difference between Net Pay and Gross Pay and ensure you negotiate based on Net pay
Gross pay is the total amount an employer pays to an employee. Gross pay includes the breakdown of what an employee is entitled to, and it is from the gross pay that deductions are made, while net pay, which is also known as take-home pay, is the amount you receive after all the deductions, like tax, pension, etc., have been made. It is preferable to state your salary expectation in terms of net pay because you may not know the basis for which deductions are made in the new company. When you negotiate on net, it ensures that you’re not on the losing end, and the HR will do some calculations before making you an offer, which will be more than what you negotiated. This is to leave room for deductions. E.g., your letter may carry ₦150,000 as pay, but by the time you receive your first alert, you will be getting ₦120,000.

Ask about other benefits that the company offers during negotiation
Some companies have variable pay, based on certain conditions like the performance of the individual or the company. Some benefits may be in kind and not be cash; this should be noted when you want to mentally calculate your pay. What I’m trying to say is that do not reject an offer because it doesn’t really meet your expectation; find out if they have other perks, which can be considered. Also, if you’re coming from a place that has a lot of office perks, don’t take an offer just because it pays higher. E.g. if you’re coming from a place that pays for membership of professional bodies as well as subscriptions, car, performance bonus, higher HMO package, etc.

It’s best you put a cost to the benefits you were enjoying before, and ask if it exists or it would be more, then weigh your options.

Do your own research
You may think you have gotten a good offer, but when you get in, you may eventually get disgruntled when you realise that your colleagues who have the same job description with you earn far above what you accepted. Jobberman, Payscale and Glassdoor will help give you insights on relevant data. If you can make calls to people in the industry who will have an idea of the range, it would be helpful (not necessarily the exact figure, though). Some people on Nairaland sometimes disclose pay for some role, so please dig well.

Be open to negotiation
I always advice to mention something higher than what you expect, then tell them you are open to negotiation. E.g., you earn ₦150,000 and the minimum you can take before considering an offer is ₦220,00. It’s best you say ₦280,000 then tell the recruiter it’s negotiable. This way, they don’t start negotiating from ₦220,000.

Negotiate based on what works best for you
I’ve realized that different things matter to different people at various points in their lives. This guides their decision to take an offer or reject it. E.g., I have a friend that a premium HMO is what mattered most to him (at that point in his life) because his wife needed it. To someone else, he was stupid for taking that pay, but he negotiated an HMO package that saved him millions for the birth of his child. For some people, proximity is more important, for some it’s staff bus and canteen. Whatever your own case may be, identify it and negotiate with that.

Don’t be pressured unnecessarily. Negotiate with confidence, because you know the value you will be contributing to the organisation. Don’t be scared to have that conversation when it’s time.

I sincerely wish you the best in your career. Don’t forget to join our next Twitter Mentoring Session on the 22^nd of June by 2pm by following @careerlifeng on Twitter.

About Yewande

Yewande Jinadu is the Founder of CareerLife Nigeria(www.careerlife.com.ng), a Certified HR Professional and an Employability coach. CareerLife Nigeria is a social initiative aimed at reducing unemployment by providing people with the right career related information and Coaching.Yewande is passionate about People Development, Employability and Career Coaching. Through personal coaching, published articles and speaking engagements, she has helped hundreds of young professionals become more employable and gain employment.You can reach out to her by sending a mail to: info@careerlife.com.ng and follow her on Twitter and Instagram: @careerlifeng

In self development December 31, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

JESUPEMI ARE: HEY ONLINE VENDOR, LESS OF THESE THINGS IN 2020… PLEASE!

Online businesses have become very popular these days and I have to say that I love them. Apart from the fact that they save you the hassle and stress of going shopping by yourself, they provide a larger variety of options for you without having to leave the comfort of your home. So many things are now sold online; from clothing to accessories and even food items. Thank God for the internet and social media! However, there are a few things that a lot of online vendors have to stop doing.

Posting products without prices

This one really has to be the most annoying for me. I can’t explain how seeing that ‘DM for price’ note at the bottom of product posts annoys me and a lot of people online complain about it too. Someone on Instagram likened it to being asked to go to the checker at a supermarket or shopping mall to ask for the price each time you see a product you want to buy. How stressful! You might think it is to ensure only serious buyers contact you but it only repels prospective customers. A prospective buyer might think: “what if I can’t afford your price after inquiry?”

Personally, I would rather save myself from the awkward situation of having to explain that I can’t afford it. Some vendors do this so that they can size up the potential buyer first from their social media account, and then give them a price depending on ‘how rich they look’. If you don’t want your business to be perceived that way, please post with your price. Trust me, it saves your own time as well.

Using inappropriate words like ‘dear’ and ‘love’ to talk to customers

This is sometimes as funny as it is annoying. You should run a business professionally and avoid using inappropriate words to address customers. Person wey no go buy, no go buy! I remember having this same experience with an Instagram clothing vendor and even with all the ‘love’ and ‘dears’, it still ended in tears. The dress I ordered was a terrible case of ‘what I ordered versus what I got’. Anytime I think of that dress, I still feel heartbroken. A simple ma’am or sir is appropriate enough to address a customer. It saves your business from appearing unprofessional.

Comment section advertisement

I know you’re trying to get your business more customers but ask yourself this: would you patronize a business from the comment section? I go through comment sections sometimes and see business handles advertising their products and I usually just scroll past. I’m no marketing expert but I can tell you this: sponsored ads can draw more people to your page than comment section adverts. Social media influencers can also help you with advertisements, for the right price of course. I have seen businesses advertise in the comment section of posts that talk about death and gotten bashed for it. If you must advertise in comment sections, use your head!

Using product pictures from other vendors/poor photography

Have you ever seen the same picture of a product being used by many different sellers? Does it ever make you wonder if the business is genuine? As a business owner, you should learn to take your own product pictures and avoid using pictures of others, even if it is the same product you both sell. You should invest in good photography as well to avoid posting poor quality pictures. Remember, we are mostly attracted by what we see.

Posting no reviews

Because you want people to see all the amazing products and services you have to offer immediately they visit your page, you bombard your page with product pictures alone. This is wrong. One thing about online buyers is that they want to see some proof that others have ordered and indeed received their product. Buying online is as risky as it is helpful. Reviews are very important in getting buyers to trust you enough to send their money to you without fear. You should post reviews of your products regularly, especially if you have been running your business for a while. Avoid posting fake reviews though. Simply ask your buyers to take pictures with your products after receiving them and send them to you.

About Author

Jesupemi Are is a young, creative and passionate writer. She likes to write about her personal life experiences, ideas and opinion on subject matters that give her a thought. She holds a degree in Industrial Chemistry from Achievers University, Ondo state. You can reach her on Instagram- @theafricanlily and via Email- jesupemiare@gmail.com

Source: Bellanaija

In self development December 30, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

OMOLOLA OLORUNISOLA: TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT MONEY

While this generation seems to have come late to the financial literacy table, it doesn’t have to be the same for our children. It isn’t too early to start exposing them to the truth about money. In fact, according to researchers at the University of Cambridge, money habits are formed in children by the age of 7. So starting off early is important.

Financial literacy is something Nigerians are beginning to take more seriously; given the recent wave of awareness from different quarters on the essence of financial education, and the stiff economic environment, there is an urgency to manage scarce financial resources wisely, and also learn ways of growing extra funds.

Growing up, talks about investing in treasury bills or money market mutual funds were not things we heard about. The truth is, most of these financial instruments were not even available when we were growing up. So the talk about money and how to invest it wisely wasn’t a thing back then.

But times are changing, the world is evolving. We now understand the importance of financial skills in navigating life. If we had the kind of knowledge available now about money when we were growing up, we would definitely be better positioned financially.

The question is: how does one teach children about money? Where do you even start from? There are different ways of inputting money lessons in children (most of which will be discussed subsequently), but the most important thing is starting them off with the right mindset by being an example for them to emulate.

It is a known fact that children learn a lot by merely watching what is done around them. Your actions and words about money shape the ‘money mindset’ of your children.

Most of us have the wrong mindset about money because of the way our parents and guardians talked about money or reacted to issues of money. I remember growing up, most of the ‘money conversations’ around me were about how hard it is to get a well-paying job. So somewhere in my subconscious mind, I believed it was difficult to get a job that pays above a ₦100,000. It took a lot to break out of that mindset. Hence, it is important we portray the right money habits for our children to imbibe.

To create a wealth mindset in children, you need to use the right words around them. You need to exude positive ‘money energy’ around them. So you select your words. Instead of saying things like, “I can never afford that,” say, “I’ll work toward buying that in the next couple of weeks or months.” Instead of “It is impossible to make it in this economy,” say, “The economy might seem tough but there is always a way out.”

You should also involve them in planning for major expenses – like changing the car or buying a major appliance for the house. Show them how you are saving up for the expense or how you intend raising money for the expense, and window shop online together, to see the options available to you.

Discuss your preferred brand and price with them. Let them know why you prefer the brand and the price. If possible, take them along with you when buying the appliance. These are some of the ways your actions will create the right money mindset in your children.

It is also important that you let them understand that money is a scarce resource, hence, the need to prioritize when spending money. Let them understand the difference between ‘wants’ and ‘needs’. Explain to them that needs are essentials that we cannot do without. You can drive this point home by showing them your budget for the month or your shopping list. Show them how you listed the essential needs first and then guide them in drawing up a budget or a spending plan with their needs coming first.

One other way of creating the right financial mindset in children is to introduce them to the concept of value creation. It is a known fact that the amount of money an individual is able to earn, is tied to how much value the individual can bring to the table. It is important that we make children understand that their ability to create solutions to everyday human problems determines how much money they can make. You can do this by making them earn their allowance, or better still, guide them in raising money for something they want to buy. Help them identify products they can sell or services they can render in return for money. This would go a long way in making them understand that value creation is key in making money.

Your actions about money also speak volumes. Don’t have an argument about money with your spouse in front of your kids. If there is a disagreement about money, resolve it when they are not around.

In subsequent articles, I’ll share more on how you can incorporate the right money habits into your kids, from as early as 3 years old. And if you have any questions, send them to me through the comment section. Let’s raise financially responsible children together.

About Author

Omolola Olorunnisola is the lead consultant at BullsnBearsNG, a financial consulting firm that specializes in providing financial advise and helping individuals build profitable investment portfolios. You can reach her via this email address bullsnbearsnig@gmail.com.

In self development December 29, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

THE RACKET SERENA WILLIAMS SMASHED AT THE 2018 U.S. OPEN SOLD FOR NEARLY $21,000

The 2018 U.S. Open final did not go as Serena Williams and her fans had expected. Instead of securing her 24th Grand Slam singles title, the iconic tennis star was defeated by a then 20-year-old Naomi Osaka in a dramatic showdown. During the heated match, Williams clashed several times with umpire Carlos Ramos, who fined her for receiving illegal coaching, verbal abuse, and breaking her racket. Williams later accused Ramos of being sexist in a post-game press conference.

Now, more than a year later, a Manhattan memorabilia dealer has made a hefty profit from Williams’ frustration. According to CNN, the racket she smashed has been sold for $20,910 at a New Jersey auction.

The 38-year-old tennis superstar initially gave her smashed racket to ball boy named Justin Arrington-Holmes, who sold it to a dealer in Manhattan for $500 earlier this year with negotiating, reports the New York Times. “Looking back I wish I’d had someone help me with the process,” said Arrington-Holmes. “I was not familiar with how any of this works. I just wanted to get rid of it.”

The racket was one of a number of sporting memorabilia that sold at Goldin Auctions. Other items included a Jesse Owens gold medal from the 1936 Olympics that sold for $615,000; a signed LeBron James rookie card from the 2003-4 season that sold for $198,030; a canceled check signed by Michael Jordan, which sold for $12,300; and a used Jerry Rice 49ers jersey from 1995 fetched for $27,060.

“This was truly a remarkable event in both the wide assortment of items and the record prices realized for so many of them,” said Ken Goldin, founder of Goldin Auctions, reports CNN.

Earlier this year, it was revealed that Williams joined Bumble Fund, an Austin-based startup that invests in female founders of color and aims to end bias in venture capital.

“I’ve learned how impactful one woman’s voice can be when given a platform to speak and be heard. I am passionate about building on this progress and opening doors for women of all backgrounds, especially women of color, to share their message and trust in their potential to accomplish great things,” she said in a statement. “By joining forces with the Bumble Fund, we will continue amplifying female entrepreneurs and creating a place for them to personally and professionally champion their growth.”

In self development December 28, 2019 By Esther Ijewere

ENIOLA OLAOSEBIKAN: IS LOVE A FEELING OR A STATE OF THE MIND?

Love is patient, love is kind, love is this, love is that – these things are all easy to say. However, considering the negative things that happen even when we say we are in love, one cannot help but ask what love really is.

Growing up, I remember writing a very hateful letter to my dad once – the same daddy that I love as well. Sometimes, when our spouse does something we think is ‘annoying’ to us, at that moment, everything called love is thrown away, leaving us with resentment and sometimes, vengeance.

No doubt, there are many classifications of love, but asides the agape kind of love (which sometimes becomes incomprehensible), is there any other form of love that can be said to be unconditional? Is there love that does not change with feelings or deeds? Feelings in the sense of the emotions we have when they do something that goes down well with us, and deeds in the sense of their actions that are pleasing to us.

No doubt we love our parents and we love our partners as well, but, things tend to go wrong when they offend us. This can make us throw every teeny bit of love we have for them away at that instant and almost immediately, we replace these ‘feelings’ of ‘love’ with some form of coldness.

So is love a feeling, or a state of mind?

Some married couples, when asked if they love their spouse, replied that they do not know. This is shocking to me. I thought love was supposed to be the bedrock of every marriage! So if you do not know if you love your spouse or not, what then is the bedrock of your marriage? This, I usually ask myself, especially when I see couples who have lovingly been together for over 10 years, 20 years and more.

Is love based on the emotions of what one’s spouse does for one, or on the deep reality that this person is a good person and always means good for us? Is love actually a feeling that goes and comes, or one that stays and goes nowhere? Or perhaps an accumulation of all the good deeds only, leaving no space for the seemingly bad days?

For Temi, when asked if she loved her spouse, her reply was yes. When asked why and how she knows, a reply was not forthcoming. This made me wonder how love truly is between couples. A school of thought says that when you love your spouse, you love him or her for no reason (this may be why it was hard for Temi to explain why she loved her husband. For her, it was a feeling with a particular kind of depth and awareness that she could not explain).

Another school of thought says one way to know if you love your spouse is to examine the reasons why you are with him in the first place. In other words, the reasons why you are with him would show you if you love him or not. The question now is: if you are with him for reasons that can be classified as selfish in some ways, would you still say you love him? Let’s say you are solely with him for the comfort he gives, his soft-spoken nature, and the fact that he meets all your needs and beyond, would you still call that love? Considering that love has been said to involve some forms of service and not just what we can get or solely what suits us?

Because I have no firm answer to these questions – especially ‘categorical’ opinions about the various schools of thought involved in love and loving a person – I’ll push this to you: What really is love? Do you think true love is when we love with reason, or without reason?

I’ll be looking forward to reading your answers in the comment session.

About the Author

Eniola Olaosebikan is a creative, spontaneous and in-depth writer. She writes poems, fictions, articles, songs, speeches and biographies. She holds a master degree in International Business Management from the Aberystwyth University, Wales, United Kingdom. She also speaks at conferences and seminars. You can connect with her on her social media handles; @Facebook- Eniola Olaosebikan @Instagram – cream_legend @Twitter- TheEniolaOBlog site: https://soulwriteralways.blogspot.com.ng/