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Chances are you have faulty beliefs about money, which keep you from coming into it. Here are 5 faulty beliefs you might have and what to do about it.

The first thing to get straight is this: Money serves you. You are it’s master and it is your faithful servant. Never get this the other way around. Money serves two purposes: It allows us to live comfortably. It is also a vehicle that lets us do good in this world. Let money serve you.

  1. Money Isn’t Everything

Some people believe that money can’t buy happiness. They pretty much choose poverty over prosperity, thinking that happiness comes with scarcity. Yet, part of having an abundance mindset means the best of both worlds. After all, money is just an indicator of success. Poor and unsuccessful people have made it a habit to avoid doing things that improve their skills and this guarantees failure.

On the other hand, successful people have a habit of doing things that help them progressively realize their goals and dreams. While you may want to remain static, the truth is you either create or disintegrate.

2. You Lack Gratitude for the Money You Do Have

Just as we don’t know how to receive, when we do receive, we don’t know how to express gratitude. Start off simple and express gratitude, when you find a dime on your garage floor or a dollar bill in your laundry.

Gratitude is a re-framing of our minds, which opens us to receiving and expands our awareness to possibilities. Possibilities increase our chances of success.

3. You Don’t Know How to Receive

How many of us know how to ask for money or negotiate salaries? How many of us know our true worth in the value we can provide? I sure didn’t. I had helped my friend remove malware from her computer. It took me less than an hour, and she wanted to pay me for my time. Yet, because I didn’t know how to ask for money or the worth of the knowledge I possess, I stupidly refused the money. Luckily for me, my friend insisted. More importantly, she helped me realize that my knowledge and experience are not just for my employer. I can also help other people, and I should be bold enough to ask for money. After all, while it may have taken less than an hour to remove that malware, it’s taken me twenty years of constant study in front of the computer to build up that knowledge base and expertise.

READ ALSO : MY FIBROID STORY OF BLOOD, PAIN AND BROKENESS

4. You Have a Poor Self-Image

You can only grow as far as your self-image will allow. If you ever want to make six-figures at your next job, then you have to first believe you can. Your bad self image makes you believe that you are undeserving and a fraud. Mainly, it’s been poisoned by other people’s beliefs.

Once you believe you bring a unique value to this world that you alone can provide, you become aware that you deserve an abundance of happiness, health, and wealth. This accomplishment is something greater yet as it is an expansion of your awareness and true self-growth. Only when you are able to see yourself worthy and deserving of a six-figure salary, will your future employer see it too.

5. It Starts With You

One of the common threads running through the 7 false beliefs has to do with blame and your willingness to take responsibility for your current results. Unsuccessful people blame their circumstances or other people. On the contrary, successful people accept their circumstances and take the initiative to improve what they can. Even if the problems seem insurmountable, they start acting from where they can.

To bring more money and success into your life, first make a decision to throw out these faulty beliefs. Be willing to accept new beliefs that are conducive to your goals. When we start educating ourselves, we also start expanding our awareness to what’s possible.

In the end, the decision to come into an abundance of wealth and success has more to do with setting goals and growing, than it is about the money. As you embark on this journey, kindly remind yourself from time to time that goals aren’t about getting. They are about growing.

 

Living life is a constant work in progress for each person, but that doesn’t mean that you should get so caught up that you neglect showing yourself love. Break down the walls preventing you from self-love, and enrich your life. Here are 6 ways I have learnt to show myself love, you should try it too.
1. Tell Yourself What You Love About Yourself
Many times, we get caught up in everything around us that we forget to remind ourselves just how awesome we are. Our own disappointment, acceptance, patience, and love that we have for ourselves will always reflect what we show others.
2. Accept Imperfection
One of the most worthwhile things that we can do for ourselves is to give up on being perfect, and start the journey to become our true selves. The best part of that journey is to return to feeling peace within ourselves. This peace comes from training your mind to process life as it actually is, rather than what you think it should be.
3. Know That the Approval of Others Doesn’t Matter
Oftentimes people greatly value having the approval of others, even when it isn’t clear exactly what would gain their approval.You should instead focus on doing what is right for your own self, disregarding what others will think. You do not need anyone’s permission to be happy.
4. Bring Distance Between Yourself and Those Who Bring You Down
Worry less about the people in your life that are not worrying about you. You should surround yourself with those who inspire you, respect you, love you, and support you.
5. Make the Changes You Know Are Necessary
When you know that you want to see changes in your life, you will need to do things that you’ve never done before. Aim to stay away from the things that tear you down, and gravitate toward the things, activities and thoughts that fulfill you in the way that you want.
6. Let Go of Your Past Self
A part of life is that good people like you will sometimes make bad choices. Sure, past mistakes make up who you are today, but they do not define you. It is never too late to move on from them – dwelling will only lead to hurt.

“Esther is an activist, Writer, Columnist, Author and editor-in-chief & founder -Women of Rubies. She is passionate about issues that affect women and children. 

Facebook: Esther Ijewere

Twitter & IG : @Estherijewere

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Email: admin@womenofrubies.com

By Pamela Mbata


Ever felt like the woman next to you is better than you? You feel or think she is smarter, more beautiful, and that’s why maybe she is so successful. Well, you aren’t the first to think so.

In life, you will see so many women admire the next woman, and wish to be them – so many admire the life’s of celebrities, people who seem to be smashing business goals, those who seem to have their dream relationships  and more.

Then, you are left to feel bad when these expectations seen about others aren’t working in some ways for you.

Well, again, you aren’t the first to think so. She was once at that place, and asked those same questions like, can I, am I good too, and many more.

Always know, YOU are as good as the next woman, and can achieve even more if you know this. Yvonne Orji’s Tee says it all. With the people you look up to, you will be surprise when you get a chance to speak with them are just like you. They get shy too, you can find them nervous and about the same feelings that flush through your mind as well.

It’s right to say some people have more opportunities set up more easily for them than others, yes, but it’s never right to accept that you aren’t good enough. The race is not to the swift. Someone can be tall and a modelling agency finds them out and next they become a top model, and yes she could be lighter, probably a more smooth talker, with pretty eyes and all. But its never okay to think she is better than you. Find your own strength. There is a role for someone who isn’t tall to play, which can eventually turn out more greater than the tall role.

That’s why it is so important to remember you have a different race. You are your greatest competition not her, our personal race are right before us. It’s never okay to think anyone is better than you. Find your niche, focus and develop them. Develop them, you need that.

Imagine someone you have greatly admired and stuff it in your mind that you can be as good and even better. Ready for this? Good wishes.

 

Photo Credit: @Yvonneorji (Instagram), Getty images

Life Coach and foremost Publisher; Oluwatosin Arodudu’s new book is fast becoming an Amazon best seller, because of the depth of the content as  it reflects every area of humanity.

As humans, our identity is our passport to navigating through life, aligning with our purpose and having total control of our emotions.The book is an eye opener for me, the powerful highlight on the cover says; “Self Discovery, “Purpose” and Leadership”. Three elements of success  everyone should possess.

As a human being, self discovery is the compass to living life truthfully. That much I learnt from this very informative book.

As a leader, having total control of your emotions is very important , especially your reaction  to criticism, which could stem from a place of sincerity or jealousy. Your power of response is key and you need to be able to practice humility even if you don’t like it, like Tosin said in the book.

Your Identity is like a Chakra bracelet worn for clarity. Without an identity, you could end up becoming a floater in the world, beaming your light under people’s shadow, Tosin highlights this clearly in most of the chapters.

At a point, I had to put down the book,  to do a quick personality dimension test on myself, I used my life as a mirror and Tosin’s strong message of confronting your personality and being truthful to “Self” as my compass, the result scared the wits out of me. I thought I had ticked every channel of my being from my one year Inter-personal communication certification programme, but here was I confronted by the truth of my imperfection, my human loopholes, my vulnerability and fear of failing and falling (F.OF)

The book which  tells the story of Oluwatosin’s travails with mind entrapment, and takes you through her journey to Self Discovery, Purpose and Leadership, teaches valid lessons on coming out of a perpetual state of mental helplessness, and living a purposeful life.

It is a book for aspiring leaders and leaders going through turmoil as a result of their strong personality. It coaches leaders with strong personality on how to master, manage and weaponize their emotions to their own advantage, both as individuals and leaders in their sphere of influence.

I am glad to have bought copies,and even donated to couple of folks within my Network. I told my Mentee, don’t read to give me feedback, read to own your identity, I am sharing same message with you right now. Take charge with a leap of faith, and Grab a copy.

This is a book that will stand the test of time, because the world will always have leaders, and leaders will always be in positions of power, that reflects on our daily life.

Get your  copy HERE on Amazon. If you live in Nigeria, copies of the book can be purchased HERE.

Send your feedback to admin@womenofrubies.com , I will love to know how the book impacted you.

 

About Esther

Esther is Gender Balanced Advocate, Writer, Columnist with Guardian Newspaper , convener of several development project, and founder of Women of Rubies

The global pandemic has changed almost everything in the world, from working, parenting, friendships and even relationships. Parents who had little time with their kids, are now full-time, round the clock parents.

Screen-time and playtime have increased and many parents are finding it hard to strike a balance between home-schooling and working-from-home life . Temi Olajide’s  timely fast selling book;  “Wifi kids and analog parent” is the solution to that dilemma.

A must have parent-kid book that addresses the changes in the dynamics of parenting in this age, and how to handle those changes. It provides the much-needed guide for raising children in the digital age. It is so all-encompassing and it highlights the pros and cons of the digital age, sex education for kids, understanding and communicating with children in the digital age, constructing boundaries, among other salient issues bordering on parenting in the digital age. We need to understand what our digital children really require us to allow them to thrive and navigate successfully in this age

According to Temi; “Wifi Kids and Analog parents” helps you  adapt quickly to the new trend of the world , and give you clarity on how to balance your work time with your parenting duty, It is a book for all season but most importantly this new phase of uncertainty the world is experiencing.

Click here to order your copy, or buy for friends who need it https://paystack.com/pay/wifikidsanalogueparents

You can also order via her Instagram page Here

About Temi

She is a Certified Child Sleep / Potty Training Consultant and Child Psychologist. Temi is Nigeria’s first certified child sleep consultant, Founder and Lead Strategist at Mummyclinic Global Services, founded in December 2017. Her organisation hosts an online platform that provides strategies and result-driven solutions to the challenges of child-rearing. 

 

 

Celebrities are vehicles of social change, and their impact is felt through their work and the value they add to the society. While Nigerians are getting agitated about the lock-down , some celebs are using their platforms to spread hope and love, to show that truly we are all in this together.

Here are some of the celebs who have been spreading Love and Light through their platforms since the beginning of the Lockdown

Toyin Abraham

Nigerian actress Toyin Abraham is doing her part to ensure that people have what to eat following the lockdown announcement .Toyin has donated foodstuff and other basic necessities to people across the country – The mother of one sent bags of rice, garri, hand sanitisers to her fans and those in need.

Tonto Dikeh

Nollywood actress, Tonto  Dikeh has shared a great burden of God to humanity and she is really seeing it through. The actress is one of the independent donors to the economically vulnerable Nigerians as Coronavirus halts all activities in the country and keeps everyone at home!

She has continued her charitable act through her son’s foundation, King Andre Dikeh Foundation and this time, 2000 women and children were beneficiaries of the cooked and raw food shared as Covid relief.

Foluke Daramola

The beautiful Nollywood actress have been very supportive and shown compassion for Veterans who are in dire need amid the lockdown. From Cash to food donation, she alongside her team have been going round to support these veterans who are almost forgotten. Her Organisation has in no little way brought these men and women of the screen to our consciousness.

Kaffy

Celebrity dancer Kafayat Shafau is reaching out to the needy during this difficult times, through her “Add a Cup” initiative. The Guinness world record breaker dancer has given out food and hand sanitisers to several Nigerians across the Country

Toyin Lawani

The serial Entrepreneur and Fashion Designer have been very supportive during the lockdown. Toyin through her company fed 2000 people recently and also gave some cash to those in need, and continue to use her platform to advocate to help those in need get help

 

Damilola Adegbite

Tinsel Star and actress Damilola is another celebrity who has shown support towards those in need during the lockdown, especially Single Moms in Need. Prior to the pandemic, Damilola has been an ardent supporter of single moms, It is no surprise that she gave out cash and money to them during this Pandemic.

 

Tiwa Savage

Tiwa Savage, who in a recent live chat disclosed the humbling effect the virus has on her, also pledged her support for single moms in need. The Music star gave hope to some of her fans on the live chat and promised to suport more via her partnership with Oba Farms.

 

 

Written by: Esther Ijewere™© – Founder; Women of Rubies

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The family unit is one of the most important institutions, and the pandemic could change the dynamics of every family, but it shouldn’t. From the heap of unplanned bills to the heat of uncertainty. The lockdown is like a Tsunami that came to knock on the door of everyone’s mind.

On a Live Instagram  chat with Men who Inspire yesterday,Certified Coach and high impact speaker speaker;  Kelechi Anyalechi shed some light on How to Build a Stronger Family during the lockdown.

Yours truly had her pen and paper handy while the session was going on,and here are the 7 ways he said we can build a stronger family during the lockdown.

1.Values: Every family should have strong values that can stand the test of time.

2.Vision: Have a plan for your family, plan for rainy days, and never allow the media influence your mindset this season. Do what you can and how you can do it and  stick to your plan.

3. Communication: With emotions flying round, you need to master the art of communicating with love, empathy and understanding. Practice active listening with your kids and partner. Be patient with them.

4. Time: Be decisive about your time, spend time with your family, especially the kids. Consciously create play time with them and be involved in their daily activities, from school work to watching their favorite cartoon with them. Be present and let them feel your presence.

Observation: Pay keen attention to the kids and what influences them and make adjustment where necessary. Children are naturally influenced by the things they see and who they spend time with. This is the best time to know what they’ve learnt when you were busy, but with the lockdown and Stay home, help them  un-learn those things if it doesn’t align with your family values.

Spirituality:Pray together as a family and spend time in faith. Your values should emanate from your spirituality. Don’t teach your children about God out of fear, but teach them out of understanding with you just being a guide.

Play: Diffuse the tension, Play with your spouse  and children. Just spend time playing that’s how you can derive joy and happiness. If you don’t play with your partner, another person will play with them. Be as addicted to your family as you are with your work. Be observant of your family and pay attention to non-verbal communication too.

Lastly, God has taught us one thing with the lockdown; that “God and family” are very important. In Pastor Adeboye’s word; “God has placed the whole world on compulsory holiday”. Spend it wisely.

Compiled by ; Esther Ijewere™©

For more Inspiring Instagram Live videos and story  about Family, skills acquisition, Mental health  and Time Management, Follow Men who Inspire Here

 

Dear Alexandria,
I know that you are full of questions.
Would you ever get that full-funded scholarship to Canada?
Would you ever get a job that paid enough to let you stop stretching funds as far as they can go?
Would you eventually meet Mr. Tall, fair, rich, handsome and kind who wants you to make you his Mrs.?
Would you ever have kids?
Would you ever be slim and beautiful?
Would you ever have a house of your own and finally a bedroom with floor-to-ceiling curtains?
Would you ever write a fantastic piece?
Would you ever find solutions to your problems?
Would you ever find your way?
Would you ever get a break?
First of all, I want you to know that you questions are valid and getting answers to them would make life just fantastic. But have you ever considered that the “problem” might stem from your outlook on like generally. From the way these questions are structured, it is proof that you tend to see the dark side of things first or most of the time. Have you ever considered looking for the silver lining i.e see things from a more positive angle?
Worst case scenario, you are not destined to get a scholarship, would it be so bad if you had to continue your education in Nigeria?
If you want to be slim, then work towards it. Eat healthier and exercise. Staring at the mirror daily won’t help you. And who says you are not beautiful? You? Society? Never hold yourself to the standards of what society accepts as “beautiful”.
You don’t have a fantastic piece yet but with practice, who is to say you won’t?
You don’t get a break when you have not worked your shift. Are you putting in the work?
I think it is time that you accepted that the answers you seek would never be handed to you that easily. There is no fairy godmother for that. The answers would reveal themselves as you make your journey through life, sometimes after a detour or two along the way.
Maybe you need to be asking yourself some other questions.
Why you are afraid to take the next step in the dark?
Why are you hesitant to stumble along the way?
Is it so important to know the answers you seek before you embark on the journey?
Would it be so bad if you didn’t receive the answers you sought but were still gifted with equally good answers?
Why do you continue to live in fear?

We know that COVID-19 has brought on the end of the world as we know it, but were you assured that you are going to see the new world from the get go?
We all know that the world would end someday, that we would die someday yet we are enjoined to live till the very end.
What are you waiting for?
I know it is very hard to watch people around you have all these things on a platter but know that everyone struggles. Every single person, some more than others.
I know it is difficult to look at yourself and see who you really are but I want to assure you that you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.
You are a smart, strong, wonderful and beautiful person.
You do so much for everyone else. It is time to expend the same energy on you. You are so much stronger than you know. You just need to push a little bit harder and keep pushing.
Don’t give up and don’t give in.
You need to work on not getting angry so much.
Forgive everyone who has hurt you and release the pain you have carried for so long.
They say you are patient, a little more won’t harm anyone.
Don’t try so hard to be heard. Those who matter do.
Smile a little bit more.
I know life has not made it easy to trust anyone, but try.
Don’t worry about the ones you expect help from. Know that help will always come.
Your sister really admires how much you used to pray. Don’t lose that.
Don’t stop looking after your hair. And maybe you could start washing it every week.
And never stop being kind. It is the most important trait you can ever have.
I am so sorry that it took this long to say this but better late than never.
Remember that it is okay to stop along the way but never abandon the journey that is life.
And happiness is not a destination.
It is the entire journey.
With all my love,
You

 

About the Author

Halimah currently works as a lecturer at the Department of Library and Information
Technology,Federal University of Technology, Minna. She relaxes by reading and watching movies.
She is in love with cake and chocolate.

Halimah believes that a woman can achieve all that she aspires to be.

Two days ago a sister shared a very sad story of how her toxic Ex- husband set her up with another man in a bid to break and destroy her. She’d gone all the way into the relationship before she realized it was all game and no love.

A toxic relationship has the ability to surface in any type of relationship such as with a significant other, a child, a parent, a co-worker or even a best friend. For your mental and physical health, it is essential that you get rid of toxic relationship situations in your life as quickly as possible.

It is important to keep your eyes open to red flags as toxic relationships can have serious and severe consequences. Some of such consequences can be to your long-term health.

Once you get rid of toxic relationship circumstances, your life will quickly begin to head in a positive direction, your self-confidence will return, you will begin to succeed at work, your other relationships will return to ones of positivity and you will feel happier each day.

Here are 10 signs that you need to get rid of toxic relationship people in your life:

1.CONTROLLING TENDENCIES

Do you feel as though you cannot express your opinions without this person having a bad emotional reaction? They will attempt to control the way you think, as well as the things you do and the people with whom you spend time. They will also make fun of you to make you feel bad.

Some ways to break free from such individuals is to create a support system, ask for help, establish goals to get rid of toxic relationship circumstances and follow through in the end.

2.YOU FEEL THREATENED

You can feel threatened in a number of ways. You might feel threatened to lose your identity. You might feel threatened by a third party in a jealous manner. Or, you might feel threatened in a more dangerous manner. If you ever question your safety, get out immediately.

You should never be made to feel intimidated or threatened in a physical manner. This is unacceptable, and you should tell someone. Do not hesitate to involve the authorities.

3.SO MUCH DRAMA

Too much drama is not constructive and results in a toxic relationship. Examples of excessive drama include game playing, an open-ended relationship status, wondering eyes, not cleaning up after one’s self, being jealous, constant gossiping, neediness and emotional unavailability.

A little drama can be directly related to passion; however, if the drama never stops, it is likely unhealthy and time to walk away.

4.ISOLATION

If an individual wishes to remove you from all other relationships in your life, this type of isolation is toxic. The person will do everything in their power to remove you from your support system so they can control you even further.

It is important to be mindful of whether or not it is you or your partner trying to isolate you from the people in your life. Some people unknowingly disappear when they start a relationship without influence from their partner, and this is not necessarily toxic.

5.EVERYTHING IS A COMPETITION

A toxic relationship based on competition is often found in work relationships and friendships; however, they can also occur in romantic partnerships and with family members. These people never actually listen to you and they will constantly try to one-up you in every aspect of your life.

6.POWER STRUGGLE

It is possible that you are both contributors to the toxicity of the relationship in some way. This is the result of a power struggle by both parties. When a person feels powerless in a relationship, they will often lash out in a demanding way as a method of overcompensation.

This dynamic can occur in all relationships from a child and a parent to interactions between co-workers. Sometimes, the reaction is based on another person attempting to control the other; whereas, in other circumstances, the lashing out is a self-imposed powerless feeling.

7.YOU ARE EXHAUSTED

An unhealthy relationship can be entirely exhausting. You might feel depleted and emotionally drained from arguing, walking on eggshells or hoping you do not encounter the toxic individual.

These people can be anyone from a co-worker who constantly tries to undermine or demean your accomplishments or an in-law who likes to cause trouble. If you are simply exhausted from speaking or encountering these people, you are likely in a toxic relationship.

8.LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Are you typically a confident individual in most situations, yet with that certain someone you often feel bad about yourself after you spend time together? If so, you need to get rid of toxic relationship people who give you low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem in a relationship can cause you to perceive the relationship differently than its reality. It can cause you to behave differently than normal and even make you paranoid or insecure

9.BELITTLING

Belittling may not seem like a big deal; however, it absolutely is a big deal and should be dealt with as soon as possible. When someone is intentionally, or unintentionally, putting your down, it is not okay.

This type of toxicity is typically regarded as emotional and psychological abuse. Abuse does not have to be physical to cause lasting damage and should never be tolerated.

10.SELF-SABOTAGE

You or the other person in your relationship may be deliberately or subconsciously sabotaging the relationship for a number of reasons. Someone may feel the relationship has run its course. They may feel highly insecure about the relationship. Or, it could be a reaction to past experiences.

11.LACK OF TRUST

Trust is difficult for some people. Whether you have been wronged in relationships in the past or you have a feeling that the person in your current relationship is not trustworthy, you cannot move forward if you do not have trust.

Esther Ijewere™©

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Personal power plays a big part in our ability to be successful and happy. It also helps us get what we want, feel safe, and remain confident that we are playing a part in this world and not that the world is playing us.

People with personal power don’t need to shout about what they want, and they rarely make people feel inadequate or unappreciated. They have a way of being comfortable in their own skin, believing what they believe, and confidently saying their own opinions while being able to respect and honour others without feeling threatened.

This makes them best placed to serve their goals. It also makes them great leaders, great colleagues, and stable friends and loved ones.

There are several things you can do to begin the process of developing your personal power. Try these to get you started.

1.Stop Stressing

Stressing that something is not working the way it has for others just further reduces your power, making you feel more powerless, worthless and not in control. Learn to accept that not everything is in your power. People that get stressed by bad weather, for example, are often good at reducing their own power – they’re so busy concentrating on the grey day that they forget all the things they actually do have control over.

2.Learn to Listen

In a world filled with thoughts and opinions and ideas, it can be hard to distinguish between our own thoughts and someone else’s. Learn to notice where thoughts come from.

3.Practice Confidence

When you learn to listen to yourself and what you feel, you can easily be rocked into dropping your new ideas if you lack confidence. Confidence may very well be the underlying power to all of our happiness and success in life.

When it comes to personal power, when your confidence drops, your power can, too.

Failure, unkind comments, passive aggressive work colleagues, bad days, and lost opportunities should not permanently affect your confidence.

4.Have Fun

If you love dancing, paintball, surfing, or yoga, don’t let it disappear out of your life. Many clients have found positive changes in their professional lives just by reintroducing the things they love. We are quick to drop these things when we are mega busy, but don’t. It can have long term repercussions.

5.Accept Failure

Personal power can be hard to hold onto when you face failure. However, if you ever need a boost, look up all of the amazing inventions, companies, discoveries and opportunities that have come out of failure.Don’t fear failure, embrace it. It is only truly failure if you learn nothing from it.

Personal power is more than being an influencer. It’s about accepting that you have a positive influence on people and accepting your power to do so without abusing that power.

Personal power can be seen in confidence and a level of self acceptance that others are quick to recognize.

When you embrace your personal power, it will likely have an impact on:

Your work

Your personal life

Your goals.

Your friends

Your business colleagues

Your happiness

Your health

When you find your personal power, own it. It helps us all experience a real world.

Esther Ijewere™©

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