self development Archives

In self development August 26, 2020 By Women of Rubies

How To Stop Nagging And Communicate With Your Partner Better

Asking for the same thing over and over again isn’t fun for anybody. Repeating yourself makes you feel like a nag and makes them feel bad about themselves. Not to mention, it drives you both crazy.

So, how do you break the cycle of nagging?

Learning how to quit nagging and start talking isn’t as complicated as it seems. It’s all about opening up those lines of communication and adjusting your expectations.

Keep reading for 6 easy steps on how to stop nagging and learn how to open a healthy dialogue with your spouse.

1. Watch Your Words

It’s natural to feel exasperated if you feel your spouse isn’t pulling their weight around the house, but the last thing you want to do is put your partner on the defensive. How can you avoid this? Simply put, listen to the way you’re asking your partner for help.

How you think you’re saying things: “Honey, I would really appreciate it if you did the dishes while I’m at work.”

How you’re actually saying things: “How are you so oblivious that you don’t even see those dishes piling up while I’m at work?”

As we can see from this example, your words and the way you make requests of your spouse matter. Instead of making them feel guilty or belittled, phrase it in a way that makes them feel good.

“I would really appreciate your help with…”

“It always makes me feel good when…”

“You’re my hero when you…”

The above openers are great conversation starters.

2. Don’t Believe in Mind Reading

Men and women have a terrible habit of believing that, after a time, their spouse knows them so well that they should be able to understand what they want without ever having to tell them. This is a cute thought but rarely is it ever true.

Any marriage therapist will tell you that your spouse cannot read your mind. If you need something from them, you need to learn to ask for it.^[1]

You can start by sending out little cues that you want X or Y, but if they don’t catch on by the time you get to Z, it’s time to start communicating with your words.

Not only does this save your spouse from playing a guessing game, but it also saves you a lot of frustration.

3. Make It a Shared Decision

One way to stop nagging and start being proactive is by getting your partner involved.

Problem-solving isn’t something you should do on your own. When you are married or in a serious relationship, you are partners, not parents to each other.

What your job isn’t: Mummying your spouse and telling them what to do.

What your job is: To come together as a couple and work at healthy conflict resolution. Identify the problem you’re having in a kind and respectful manner and then ask your partner to weigh in on how to resolve the conflict at hand.

The keys to great problem-solving are empathy, communication, and listening to each other.

4. Take a Marriage Course

The need to nag comes down to a fundamental lack of communication in a relationship.^[2] When both partners are open and honest about their needs, conversation flows, and partners look for ways to help each other out – instead of being told to do so.

Instead of seeing a marriage therapist, why not take a marriage course?

There are plenty of online courses designed to help couples understand each other better. Topics covered in a popular online marriage course include setting shared goals as a couple, building compassion and empathy, mastering the art of communication, intimacy, and making and sharing traditions.

5. Get Your Partner to Hear You

No partner wants to be a nag, and the argument could be made that if the spouse or child did what they asked the first time, they wouldn’t have to keep bringing it up, which effectively stops nagging.

A fair point!

But harping at people doesn’t usually get the job done – so how DO you get someone to listen without nagging them?

The best way to get your partner to listen to you and avoid ending up in a marriage course for couples on the brink of destruction is to get them to see things from your perspective.^[3] Relate your situation to something they can understand.

One stay-at-home mom and homemaker worked hard to keep her house neat and tidy, but her construction worker husband would come home and walk through the freshly mopped hardwood floors with his dusty work boots on. She asked him to take his boots off repeatedly, but he could never seem to follow through.

One day she said to him, “Keeping the house clean is my job, just like doing drywall is your job. When you come home and walk through the house with your boots on after I just finished cleaning it, it’s as if I came to your construction site and ripped down the drywall you put up that day. Do you see how I could find this to be frustrating?”

The wife used an example the husband could understand, and so he became more empathetic to her desires.

6. Do It Yourself, If Possible

As they say, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”

To decrease nagging, ask yourself whether what you’re about to say is worth getting upset over and whether it’s worth taking the task into your own hands.

Sure, it’d be nice if your spouse refilled the compost bag so you don’t have to do it, but the next time you’re getting ready to nag about it, ask yourself: Is a compost bag worth starting World War III over?

If you want to break the cycle of nagging without ending up in the office of a marriage therapist, you need to learn how to rephrase your requests. Speak respectfully and work on building empathy in your relationship. A marriage course can also help build communication and work on your conflict resolution skills.

Final Thoughts

Communication is key to any relationship, and it’s especially more important for partners. Sometimes, a person may feel like they’re communicating properly, unaware that their partner is already hearing them nagging. These 6 tips will help you stop nagging and communicate better with your partner.

Source: Lifehack.org

In self development August 26, 2020 By Women of Rubies

8 Ways To Develop Self-Belief

Many people believe that a strong belief in one’s self is something we are born with. This suggests that people without self-belief can never develop one and are stuck living with having low self-esteem.

This, however, is wrong. self-belief is something that can be developed and rebuilt if lost.

So, if you do not believe in yourself or have lost your self-belief, remember that you can regain it with the right steps and actions.

For the importance of self-belief, circumstances that can make a person lose her self-belief, and how belief in one’s self can be redeveloped, keep reading below.

Why is Self-Belief Important?

As the name suggests, self-belief has to do with how much a person believes in herself. It encompasses the belief in your values, skills, knowledge, and abilities. Self-believe is very important because it affects a person’s lifestyle and choices.

A person without self-belief will constantly downplay their abilities while settling for less than what they deserve. Most times, the individual takes whatever blow life deals because they do not believe that they deserve better.

On the other hand, a person with self-belief knows their worth and value.

For instance, when people with no self-belief see a job vacancy with the skills they possess, they may pass up on it or apply half-heartedly because they believe that they are not good enough for the job.

People with self-belief, on the other hand, will pursue the job wholeheartedly because they believe that they are well-qualified for the job.

In the end, people without self-belief may end up working a low paying job and living at the mercy of others for the rest of their lives. Meanwhile, people with self-belief will move from that job to a better one and might eventually get to the peak of their careers.

This example shows that while self-belief might seem small or inconsequential, it can affect our entire lives both directly and indirectly.

Self-belief motivates people to explore their potentials and this motivation may lead to the achievement of goals and aspirations.

Why Do Some People Lack Self-Belief?

No one is born without self-belief. Most times, we find ourselves in certain situations and circumstances that can negatively affect our self-esteem – either temporarily or in the long run.

To rebuild your self-belief, understanding the circumstance that made you lose it can help you learn how to proceed.

Here’re some common causes of lack of self-belief:

1. Unhappy Homes

Growing up in an unhappy home can reduce a person’s belief in herself. This is because as kids, the way you are treated by others, especially by your family, majorly influences the way you view yourself.

Kids who grow up with parents who never commend or congratulate them (but complain and tear them down) grow up lacking confidence in themselves.

2. Negative Peers

Being surrounded by people who constantly discourage you and make you feel like you are not good enough can make you lose confidence in yourself.

Sometimes, your peers may even convince you to do things you are not comfortable with and when you refuse, they may say and do things to make you feel odd. In order to fit in, you may find yourself abandoning your morals and values to please them. This can damage a person’s self-belief in the long run.

If you have a hard time distancing yourself from negative peers, reading this article about avoiding negative people may be helpful: 10 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Negative People

3. Traumatic Experiences

Physical and emotional abuse can tear down a person’s self-belief. If you have a partner who makes you feel like you are not good enough to attract and keep their attention, it may extend to you feeling like you are not good enough for anyone or anything.

Also, people who experience physical abuse may suffer from depression and anxiety, which will gradually eat away their self-esteem. Eventually, such an experience will make them feel unworthy of their goals.

4. Bad Decisions

Some bad decisions made in the past can affect a person’s belief in herself and cause them to doubt their ability to make decisions in the future. This mostly happens when the decision made turns out to have consequences that affect not just the person but also their loved ones.

For instance, a mother decides to move abroad with her children in hopes of finding greener pastures for them, but the father disagrees. After arguing for a while, the father gives in and loans some money to sponsor the trip. When they travel, the mother is unable to find a good job so her plan fails.

The failure of this plan, the disappointment, and the losses incurred might make her doubt her ability to make the right decisions in the future.

5. Negative Thought Patterns

If you always think of the worst-case scenarios, especially when it comes to yourself, chances are that you will lose confidence in yourself.

If before a job interview, the only thing you can think of is all the mistakes you might make or how you might not be as good as other candidates, you will most likely take in that energy and discourage your interviewers.

Over time, such negative thought patterns might lead you to feel unworthy and inferior to everyone else. That is why you need to think positively and eliminate negative thoughts.

How To Develop Self-Belief

Once you understand the reason behind your lack of self-belief, you can proceed to work on how to build it.

Here are 8 ways to help you develop self-belief.

1. Know Who You Want to Be

When self-doubt or self-pity is not eating at you, who would you like to be? If you were not afraid, what would you do?

Boldly answering these questions is the first step to rebuilding your self-belief. This is because the doubts and negative thought patterns, over time, bury the real you along with your goals and dreams.

To gain self-belief, you need to work towards these goals while pushing away low self-esteem. So, give yourself the space to dream a little, and make a list of all the things you would like to achieve and believe. In the process of doing this, whenever self-doubts spring up, push them away until you create a comprehensive list.

2. Affirm Yourself

Self-affirmations are strong tools that reinforce your belief in yourself. This is because as humans, our self-image influences our behavior. If you see yourself as one of the most good looking people in the world, you will definitely behave like one.

And if you see yourself as the future CEO of a company, you will also act like one. So, what you need to do is see yourself as someone worthy and amazing.

Affirmations can help you create that image. They are positive statements that knock out doubts, especially when recited aloud and with belief.

For example:

“I am worthy of everything I desire.” “I am smart enough to achieve my goals.” “I deserve all the best things life has to offer.” “And I will put forth effort daily to meet one specific desire and one specific goal to experience the best things.”

So make a list of affirmations, stand in front of your mirror and say these words to yourself. It does not have to be lengthy. Just four uplifting sentences can help you feel prepared to conquer the world each day.

3. Face Your Fears

One effective way to develop self-belief is by facing your fears.

You do not have to face them all at once or go for the scariest first. You can choose to start little by little.

Start by figuring out the source of your self-doubt and tackling that problem. If your parent’s treatment of you as a kid is the reason you lost confidence in yourself, approach them and speak to them about it. Do not be afraid of being censored. Expressing yourself might help you get the weight off your chest.

Next, face the fear of failing to achieve your goals. Go for that interview and give it your best. Address that board of directors with your ideas and innovations. Walk out of that relationship that constantly beats on your self-esteem.

Once you face and conquer your fears, self-doubt will flee.

4. Address Your Inner Critic

If society is the reason behind your loss of self-belief, it can easily be addressed and rebuilt. If you are your own critic, however, your confidence cannot be regained if you do not shut off the criticizing voice in your head.

Most times, the lack of belief in oneself is a result of an overactive inner critic. You might have this amazing idea but while creating the proposal, you may start wondering if the idea is good enough. You then start to convince yourself that the proposal is not good enough, discarding the sheet of paper, and keeping the idea under lock and key.

Addressing your inner critic is crucial because until you do, you may keep undermining your abilities and settling for less than you deserve.

So when your inner critic asks you “why would they pick me for the job?”, ask yourself, “why shouldn’t they pick me for the job?”

And then go on to count out all the reasons why you are qualified for the position. Doing this repeatedly will shut your inner critic up and build your self-belief tremendously.

5. Be Prepared to Win

Before you take a step towards your goals and aspirations, make sure you are all set up to win.

Do not take things on a whim or have a ‘winging it’ mindset because these often result in failure. Instead, study hard for that exam, prepare to provide all the best answers at that interview, make an impressive presentation for that meeting, and cut off acquaintances who fill your mind with negative thoughts.

Preparing to win also fills you with confidence that will encourage you to put in the extra effort to achieve your goals.

6. Encourage Others

Do you know that encouraging others can change your mindset about success? Most times, loss of self-belief can also lead to losing faith in other people’s abilities.

You might find yourself constantly discouraging people against going after their dreams because you doubt that they can achieve them. So make an effort to see success as something anyone can achieve.

Encourage your friends and family, and your mindset about success will also change over time. Soon your encouragements will turn inwards, and you will start feeling motivated to achieve your own goals.

7. Take Care of Yourself

To develop your self-belief, you need to take care of yourself and not just mentally and emotionally. Physical care can go a long way toward influencing your mental and emotional health.

So, go to a spa and get a massage. Go shopping for outfits that make you feel good and do your hair. Register at the gym, eat healthily and make sure you get enough rest. Also, talk to a therapist or join a support group.

Looking good and feeling good will surely help boost your self-confidence.

8. Cut Off Negative Acquaintances

So-called friends who make you feel unworthy or not good enough through their words or actions should be cut off. This is because keeping such people around you will destroy every effort you make to rebuild your self-esteem.

It should not matter who they are to you because if they cared about you in the same way, they would treat you better. So, make a decision to avoid them.

If your family are the ones treating you poorly, speak to them about it, and make it clear that you will not tolerate negativity in your life. If your partner is physically or emotionally abusive, cut the person off too because until you do, your self-belief may never grow.

While distancing yourself from negative acquaintances, draw your loving friends and family closer and cultivate healthy relationships.

Final Thoughts

Marilyn Monroe once said

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

So, if the reason you lost your self-belief is that you believe others are better than you, you need to make a conscious effort into changing that mindset.

Think of all the amazing things you can do that other people cannot. And remind yourself that you are just as deserving as the next person.

Source: Lifehack.org

In self development August 21, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Kate Henshaw Reacts To Claim Celebrities Are Paid To Say COVID-19 Is Real

Nollywood actress, Kate Henshaw has reacted to claims that celebrities are being paid to say COVID-19 is real in Nigeria.

Henshaw shared her painful experience on her Instagram page after she went for COVID-19 test.

To her surprise, a fan responded saying celebrities were paid by Nigerian government to say coronavirus is real.

The actress who seemed infuriated by the comment wrote: “COVID-19 test is uncomfortable make I no lie. I was already in tears because this @NseIkpeEtim told me it was painful.

“ Someone commented on my Instagram saying” all these celebrities that have been paid to say there is COVID-19, God will judge you.

“If I land am better curse now, shay they will say Kate has started again inside blogs. I just blocked the person and moved on. COVID-19 IS REAL!!

In self development August 14, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Sinem Bilan Onabanjo: To all the bosses I’ve endured…

With the global work from home experience still going on in most parts of the world five months and counting, there have been quite a few discussions in business publications such as Forbes or Harvard Business Review around management styles and what makes a good manager. A few characteristics come up over and over again – taking ownership, accepting accountability, leading by example, showing empathy, having emotional intelligence are some of the characteristics many leaders seem to share.

As a manager, who’s got a range of management experience over the years from having just one report to managing teams of 10-15 people, I am always keen to work on my shortcomings as well as identifying and honing my strengths. Brutally honest with my flaws, I am also quick to look back on years of experience and remember times where I felt despicably short of leading in positive ways.

Likewise, I like looking back to the managers I’ve had over the years and how they have excelled or miserable failed in their management of others or me. I am a huge fan of the thinking that people come into our lives for a reason, or a season or a blessing, and when it comes to managers, I’ve had my share of the lot, and with each article I read on management, I can’t help but reminisce on the ones I’ve endured and what I learned from it all.

Cherry the Bully
She was the Head of English and Head of Sixth Form at my first work place where I joined as a rookie English teacher. I was just 23, she was nearing retirement; yet instead of taking me under her wing and showing me ropes, she would often bully me, give me the worst classes, stand outside my classroom to make a list of all my failings as a new, unqualified teacher to report back to my students’ parents. One day, she shouted at me in front of a whole teacher’s room of colleagues because I’d taken papers home to mark – a common practice for her and everyone else but suddenly when it was me, it was a fire hazard. It was a tough time to endure but for a long time after I knew no matter how bad a working environment got, it could never get as bad as enduring Cherry, the bully.

The Karen
Her name was really Karen, and she was the ur Karen long before Karen became Karen. Entitled as her mother had been working as the headteacher’s PA, Karen considered herself an authority on anything without much substance to support her arrogance. Karen went from a secondary school teacher to Head of Department through no other virtue than pushing her way in so she could throw her weight about. While claiming to be an authority on the English language almost daily, she would almost daily discover something new about the subject she fancied herself an expert on. If anything, Karen through those five years I endured her made me not take people in positions of power at face value and challenge them where I think they are out of their depth.

Ade
Let’s call her Ade, shall we? As over the years, some Ades have come and gone through the revolving doors of my work life. Ade was sickly sweet when she was happy – you could do no wrong if you’d done something to please her and you could ride on the wave of achievement for a few hours, days or weeks – depending on how soon something would happen, or often some criticism given by her ‘nearest and dearest’ to tip the balance. Never mind the fact that the said nearest and dearest didn’t have any expertise on what they were criticising, but somehow, their word would be the gospel and all too soon you will fall from favour and become the most useless employee who couldn’t do anything right.

Another flaw with Ade was her impatience; once crossed, she had a nasty temper. Imagine a woman screaming like a banshee as a seasoned London cabby about why he should be going into a pedestrian street because it was raining and she possibly couldn’t get wet. I had to walk away when finally after months of sleepless nights of working around the clock I too got shouted at for not delivering a document she had asked for within the hour. My excuse? I had just come out of invasive surgery and should have been off work to recuperate – it just didn’t cut it with Ade.
To be continued…

In self development August 14, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Toyin Abraham:Tips on “Choosing the Right Career”

Toyin Abraham is out with a new vlog on YouTube Channel, and this time she’s talking about choosing the right career.

Choosing the right career can be difficult, but having a defined career direction will help you with getting a job. But with a little hard work, some planning, and some serious self-reflection, you can set yourself on a path towards a fruitful, fulfilling career.

Watch the vlog below:

In self development August 12, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

How To Use The Law Of Attraction To Make Your Dreams Happen

People seem to believe that they can simply think their way straight to success. They mistakenly believe that if they just think about their dreams often enough and vividly enough that–poof!–They’ll just seem to come true.

But life is not a magic trick.

If you told a starving child in Africa who had not have a single meal in five days to use the Law of Attraction to manifest a meal for themselves, how well do you think it would work out for them?

Clearly, there’s more to it than envisioning what you want.

If you want to know what it really takes to achieve your greatest goals and ambitions, then here’s a list of steps that will outline how to use the Law of Attraction the proper way.

Focus Your Thoughts in the Direction of Your Dreams

If you were to take a pebble and toss it into a pond, what happens?

As soon as the pebble strikes the surface of the water, you get a series of ripples or waves, which spread outwards in a circular direction, until they get to the shoreline and seem to stop.

The larger the pebble, the larger the ripples. The larger the pebble, the higher the waves.

Two stones of different sizes and weights tossed in at the same time, at different places but in close proximity, will both create a series of ripples, which will eventually merge with one another…

When the two sets of ripples converge, there seems to be a bit of a struggle as to which one overcomes or passes the other.

As far as the human eye can see, if the ripples are the same size, both seem to stop or merge when they collide.

But if one set of ripples is larger than the other, the larger set sweeps over the smaller set and creates waves in the wake of the smaller ripples.

Let’s consider this analogy in relation to our own thought-patterns and mental impulses…

Imagine you’ve got two stones in each hand.

The stone in your left hand is labeled, “failure”

The stone in your right hand is labeled, “success”

The weight of each stone is in direct proportion to the amount of *thought* you give its label.

So… How heavy are your stones?

If your “failure” stone is heavier, then its ripples will simply stop or takeover the ripples created by your stone labeled “success.”

But if your “success” stone is heavier, then that will be the one that takes over.

Put Some Actions Where Your Thoughts Are

Many people make the mistake of looking at the Law of Attraction as if it were a stand-alone solution to making their dreams a reality. They believe that they can make a vision board and use positive thinking to achieve success.

But these folks need a wake-up call, because positive thinking is not enough. It will never be enough.

If we THINK positive, but we still FEEL negative, then how will we ACT?

Your thoughts, actions and feelings are like a three-legged stool. Positive thinking is powerful, but only when we think of it as one of the three necessary legs that reinforces the stool we’re sitting on.

If we don’t want the stool to wobble or break, we’ve got to make sure we give each leg the care it needs to keep us from falling down and getting hurt.

The key here, with making the Law of Attraction work for you, is to focus on being as congruent as possible between your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

What’s the best way to do that?

First, remember that the way you THINK has got to be in line with the way you ACT. Because the way you act is going to have an impact on the way you FEEL.

And the way you feel is going to help reinforce the way you think, or it’s going to help you re-examine the way you think. Which is going to circle right back around into helping you decide the way you choose to act in any given situation.

The Bottom Line

It’s not the Law of Attraction or positive thinking alone that drives our success in life — it’s about being in positive congruence between the way we think, act, and feel that drives our success in life… And at the very least, keeps us from falling off the stool.

If we want to make big things happen, we’ve got to take action.

In self development August 12, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Tale Alimi: 5 Reasons Why Your Small Business Never Scale

This is the kind of headline you see and get a panic attack, especially if you have been working so hard and trying to keep hope alive! I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I have seen it so much and experienced it myself after working with over 5,000 small businesses either in a training, coaching or consulting capacity. I hear the hope in their voices, see the eagerness in their eyes, maybe just maybe they are about to create a business that will change the game from their kitchen to Wall Street like Carols daughter. I don’t have the heart to tell them it is not going to happen, so I decided to write an article and tell you (now I am not talking to anyone directly, but I am talking to everyone who needs to hear!) These are the reasons:

1. The danger of a single channel: God bless Instagram! Maker of millennial millionaires and torture to generation Xers who can’t seem to get a hang of how to translate this single channel to millions. The next time I have a strategy session with a generation Xer who laments to me about their lack of business growth due to an inability to monetize Instagram, I am probably going to pull my hair out!

Instagram is an amazing social media channel to reach customers and it should be harnessed. However if you are looking to scale your business in a Country where over 70 percent of transactions are still done off line, you have to explore multiple channels to reach your customers.

Go where your customers are and believe me, they are in multiple places aside from Instagram. (I share more details about channels in my new book small to scale. Details on how you can get the e-book for free is at the end)

If that’s your only marketing channel, surely you are neglecting 70% of your market and you want to scale?

2. Your money is our money: after paying school fees from my business revenues, I am low on cash flow! Alas this was the lament of a client who was the breadwinner in her home. Can you blame her? Her Children have to go to school, after all why was she working so hard… 95% of businesses in Nigeria are micro businesses and they struggle to grow because they are really just vehicles for the business owner to take care of their family needs. I am sure you have heard several times that you should separate your business finance from your personal finance and instead pay yourself a salary. But how many of us are practicing this strictly? How do we grow or scale a business when we keep eroding the capital to meet our personal needs?
I know, I know, it’s not your fault. It’s the state of the economy and other life realities….

3. Doing it the way they do it: hey ‘Tale, have you noticed that XYZ Company seems to be making a lot of money? Really, I replied. How do you know? Well, they just bought a new bus or opened a new store. This is how “Me too” strategy is killing a lot of small businesses who are attempting to copy others without really knowing what is happening behind the scenes.

There is nothing wrong with bench marking with your industry colleagues, but making major business changes or decisions based on something you heard or think you understand is unreliable. Your business decisions should be driven by a clear strategy and not by trying to do it the way they do it without clear direction.

4. I can do “bad” all by myself: one of the greatest tests I have seen small businesses fail is the hiring test. I know the excuses…I can’t afford to hire the type or quality of staff that I need, so I will do everything by myself. Okay it might not be an excuse, it is your reality right? Some years ago, one of my clients hired a COO who earned twice the salary of the CEO. I had to ask why that decision was made. I was told that the person came with many years of experience working in a multinational and that they wanted their small business to grow and operate at that standard. Suffice to say, the business experienced exponential growth in a few short years. The next question I am usually asked is; what if I make the wrong hiring decision? My response is; like in everything in life, correct your mistake quickly, learn from it and hire right the next time. However what I see a lot of businesses doing is returning to status quo. At least I will have one less person to pay the business owners rationalizes, how about the loss of revenues from trying to do it all by yourself and dropping the ball?

5. Planting an oak tree in a flower pot: the thought of the analogy sounds ridiculous right? But that’s what I see so many small business owners trying to do! People want to build million dollar factories with a few hundred thousand naira and expect that by some miracle and pure resilience, things would translate as such. I am not saying you shouldn’t start small, I am a big advocate of starting small and scaling.

I am currently building my third business with the principle of starting small, however what is different is the approach and the structure that would ensure that it scales. When you want to build a business that will scale, you build it with that mindset from day one. This will include your vision, your business structure, your capital structure, your business model and your team.

You have to lay the right foundation for the type of building you want to construct. If you have laid the foundation for a bungalow and you attempt to build an eight story building on it, do you know what will happen? Then you know why many small businesses won’t scale….

Learn how to avoid these mistakes in my new book- “Small to scale-The blueprint for transforming your small business into a high growth company” I am giving it out for free in ebook format to the first 10,000 people who subscribe to join the waitlist of our new finance matching and business support platform-Owoafara. Join at www.owoafara.com/join

In Editor's Choice August 8, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

Esther Ijewere Is Set To Break Boundaries With New Initiative #GetTalkingwithEsther

The Social activist, and convener of several development projects took to her social media page few days ago to announce her new initiative “Get Talking with Esther”. The multi-award winning author and columnist said the show is aimed at helping people find their voice and communicate their thoughts through words, and promote positivity on social media.

Esther started her career over 10 years ago as a social activist, and she has since taken her gift to other areas, doing humanitarian work and giving hope to the helpless and downtrodden in the society. Her Initiatives include; Walk against rape, Women of Rubies, Men who Inspire and Rubygirls, all under the umbrella of Rubies Ink Initiative.

According to Esther; “ I am very expressive, I love to write and read from people, I love to celebrate people and give them hope, I love when I can feel people’s thoughts through words, and “Get talking with Esther” is just about that. A #Tweetchat session that will give you the ambience of a show.

Basically, using my platform, years of experience, and skillset for social good to give everyone a voice. We are going to be fixing broken tables, Bringing “Under the table” conversations to the front burner for positivity. Sharing life experiences, healing and learning.

The show kicks off on August 8th, with family therapist and life coach; Praise Fowowe as the first guest.

Those who follow the chats have the opportunity of winning free gifts, food, and cash prizes weekly. #GetTalkingwithEsther is supported by Greenbliss Apartments and Abimbola Oki’s Dpotters Catering services.

To get more scoop on the initiative, kindly follow @estherijewere and Tweet using #GettalkingwithEsther

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In self development August 3, 2020 By Esther Ijewere

10 teps To Having A Flawless Skin

Do you want to have a flawless skin? Do you love women with flawless skin? Do you wish to be like them?

Are you tired of paying huge sums of money for body soaps and creams? Do you want to be the toast of others because of your skin as you step out?

You need to read this article. If you want to have a flawless skin, take these tips to heart:

Wash your face before you go to bed. Don’t wear makeup to bed. You are not doing your face any good if you do that all the time.
Use a moisturizer. Your skin needs a good moisturizer to glow. You need yourself natural skin glow to be the envy of other people. Get a moisturizer with Sun Protection SPF.
Don’t scrub your skin too hard. Be gentle with your skin. Over scrubbing your skin can make your skin red and irritable
Eat good food and get regular exercise. Don’t load your body with junk food. Eat lots of fruits, protein and vegetables. Consume real food and do away with fast-food and sodas.
Exfoliate your skin to remove the layers of dead skin cells and dirt that are blocking your pores and your skin’s natural glow. Get exfoliating products that contain alpha hydroxy and lactic acids for your skin.
Make sure you clean your phone regularly. Your phone picks up lots of bacteria, which can be transferred to your face when you make a phone call. Wipe your screen with an anti-bacterial wipe often to get rid of germs.
Stop touching your face. Touching your face all the time might be the reason for those blemishes on your cheek or jaw. Germs get transferred to your hands from touching other things.
Change your pillowcase. If you don’t use clean pillowcase often, your skin can suffer breakouts. Your pillowcases carry dirt and sweat from your hair, hands, and beauty products you use.
Wash your makeup brushes every week with brush cleanser or baby shampoo. Your makeup tools can accumulate bacteria, which can lead to breakouts.
Don’t forget to use skin protection. You shouldn’t reserve using sunscreen only when the weather is hot — your skin needs protection all the time.

There are sunscreens for every skin type. Get the one that help make your skin less oily, so that your face remains matte and pimple-free.

Source: Feminine.com.ng

In self development August 3, 2020 By Women of Rubies

Esther Ijewere: 5 Emotions And How You Can Turn Them To God

We can all feel stuck at times in our emotions. They can be so strong that they literally dominate our thoughts and it can be hard to focus on anything else. God gives us a way to deal with tough emotions and that it through prayer. Let’s look at 5 emotions we can all face and how you can turn your heart to God.

When you’re feeling worried….

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Write down everything you are worried about. Write down everything you feel grateful for. Pray about each worry. Thank God for everything you feel grateful for.

PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7

God’s promise is that by turning to prayer, he can take our worries away and actually give us peace!

When you’re feeling afraid…

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. God wants us to tell him all our fears and share all our feelings with him.

PSALM 34:4

God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. [5] Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him.

When your heart is sad and angry

What relationships in your life cause you pain and sadness? Who do you feel bitter towards? Pray about the hurt, sadness, and pain you feel that is making you angry.

When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you. Share the anger with God and ask him to help you let go of it.

Pray about how the anger hurts relationships and allows Satan to defeat you and divide relationships.

PSALM 73:21

God can help us deal with our pain and sadness. He can help us overcome bitterness when that is our response to the pain.

When you’re feeling jealous…

Anger is cruel and destroys like a flood, but no one can put up with jealousy! Who do you have jealousy towards? Admit jealousy to God in prayer and how it hurts, divides, and distances your relationships. Peace of mind means a healthy body, but jealousy will rot your bones.

PROVERBS 14:30

Pray about how jealousy harms you, how it makes you unhappy or depressed because you always feel like other people have it better than you.

When you’re feeling disappointed…

It is sad not to get what you hoped for. But wishes that come true are like eating fruit from the tree of life. What disappointments have you experienced in your life? Take time to share those things with God.

PROVERBS 13:12

Disappointment affects our hearts more than we realize.

Challenge:

Decide everyday to take time to journal out your feelings to God (each of ones listed above). Take time to pray through those feelings everyday along with scriptures that help you understand God’s perspective on those emotions.

Photocredit ; http://thehoustonblackpages.com/

By: Esther Ijewere

Email: Esther@womenofrubies.com

Twitter & Instagram : @estherijewere

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***Esther Is a Social Activist, Writer, Author Columnist and the Editor in Chief of Women of Rubies.

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