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self development

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A kindhearted teacher from Ghana has set the bar high for other educators by putting her all in her job. Naomi Awomeh has brought a new meaning to the word service as she always endeavors to leave smiles on her pupils’ faces.

Emmanuel Kobea the selfless lady who works in a small village spends her free days sewing and repairing her learners’ clothes. As if not enough, the kind woman does it all for free.

During her lunch breaks, instead of indulging in a scrumptious meal, the teacher takes out her tools and focuses on stitching and repairing clothes. And while she is busy turning tatters to presentable attire, Naomi teaches her pupils how to stitch. Her story first gained traction on social media when Emmanuel Kobea, a young man who was touched by the kind teacher’s laudable initiative in the school, shared her photo. “One of my daughters in the Lord, Awomeh Naomi teaches at Kubease near Ejisu. She learnt dressmaking during her vacations while in college. She in turn, teaches her pupils needle work and patches their worn out uniforms during breaks,” he wrote.

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One of my favourite references as far as reading lists go is Bill Gates. I mean, you can’t attain that level of success without doing something right and I think being an intentional reader is one of the reasons why Mr Gates is so successful. Mr Gates usually has 5-10 books on his annual reading list, and while I think this is worthy of emulation, I also want to set actionable goals. I have a 9-5 job and other deliverables that might not let me read 10 books a year. You might be like me and need a smaller list of recommendations. If so, here are 4 books I recommend for professionals looking for reading suggestions to build their careers.

Enjoy

Expect to Win: 10 Proven Strategies for Thriving in the Workplace by Carla Harris:

Expect to win by Carla Harris

This book reads like fiction which is the best kind of book. Carla uses her own experience climbing up the career ladder at Morgan Stanley to share some tried and true tips on how to build your career. For a black woman living in the US like me, this book has been a referral of sorts. I have come back to it quite a number of times to know what to do. It is also very relatable across countries and industries so highly recommended.

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t by Jim Collins:

Good to great by Jim CollinsThis book is inspiring and then some. There is a reason why it has been on so many bestseller lists. It gives you an insight into how some of the greatest companies got where they were and how others lost their greatness. It is a great read and has sequels that are also worth the time. I highly recommend this for leaders and upcoming leaders; we can all learn a lot from the successes and failures of those that have gone before us.

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink

Drive by Daniel Pink

This one is a winner with any audience. Talk to most readers in the corporate sector and they have read ‘Drive’. It is a book that explores the things that motivate people to do their best work. Reading it can help you identify what ‘drives’ you, AKA your passion. Once you know this, everything will change; the way you work, the way you play and even the way you love…So yes, make this the year you read this one.

Mistakes I Made at Work: 25 Influential Women Reflect on What They Got Out of Getting It Wrong by Jessica Bacal

Mistakes I made at work by Jessica Bacal

Ladies, get in here! Similar to the first book on this list, this is another easy read. I especially like this because it tells you WHAT NOT TO DO. Experience is not always the best teacher and advice from this book can save you some Panadol money. Take advantage and learn from the experiences of those that have gone before. It is a major staple in my library and one book I enjoy giving to my girlfriends in the corporate world.

Written by Damilola Ashaolu

“Do you know saying the right things to your man could make him love you more”

“Do you know a man respects you more when you say the things he loves to hear”

A Selfless partner should know how to comfort their men with subtle, kind, positive and inspiring words.

If you want to learn how to speak to your partners, then this piece is for you.

Here are 9 things every man loves to hear;

1. “I LOVE YOU!”

Even the toughest man will melt a bit when his partner professes their love for him. They love hearing we love them. Also, they like hugs, kisses and cuddling too. Even a nicely-worded email or text message will work.

2. “YOU’RE THE BEST (DAD/HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND/ETC.)!”

It’s less of an ego-boost as it is a verbalization of respect. It’s a testament to both our efforts and our priorities – which are the woman and her well-being.

3. “I APPRECIATE YOU AS A MAN!”

As stated, men need to feel like men.. It has everything to do with knowing that their partner appreciates something about their character (honesty, integrity, selflessness, etc.) or something else.

4. “I RESPECT YOU!”

As men age, They have less of a need to be recognized for selfish reasons . This feeling is replaced by the need to feel respected out of love. They love feeling admired and respected from the people who love and care about them!

5. “I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO.”

Men need to feel like they are good providers for the people they love. If they believe anything less, they don’t perceive themselves as the man they should be. As such, when they are told that you’re thankful for their hard work, effort, and for providing, it means a tremendous deal to them.

6. “YOU LOOK GREAT!”

This one’s a no-brainer, right? After spending a significant amount in a relationship, they still love hearing that our partner finds them attractive. This is particularly the case if they’ve been putting in some time at the gym. Your compliments serve as a reward for their hard work and as motivation to keep them going.

7. “I TRUST YOU.”

There are fewer things more sacred than trusting someone with your life. When you’re in a relationship, this is an essential truth. Here’s a bit of advice from Georgianna Donadio, Ph.D., “The best time to share your feelings (is) just before or during close intimacy. At that time, levels of oxytocin, a hormone that enhances feelings of trust, love and intimacy, are elevated, making it the best moment to love talk with your partner.”

 8. “I’M LISTENING.”

Men and women communicate very differently. For example, in an argument, a woman is usually more willing to sit down and have a dialogue. The man often feels an inclination to seek solitude to think things over or distract himself. They do love hearing “I’m listening” or “I’m ready to listen when you’re ready to talk” in any case.

9. “THANK YOU.”

Similar to women, men appreciate recognition for efforts small and little. “Thank you” is a straightforward yet powerful phrase that shows them your appreciation for what they do. (Here’s a tip, ladies: if you say “Thank you” on a regular basis for something they do, they are much more likely to do it again.) …Take this from a “Lovina” *winks*

– Esther Ijewere™

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By Stacy Francis
@FRANCISFSFINANCE

President And CEO Of Francis Financial


Over the past two decades, I have specialized in advising women in moments of transition. This has given me the unique opportunity to observe women’s financial practices and attitudes during the window in which they are most open and most vulnerable.

Oftentimes, this change happens as a result of divorce; however, women also face transitions in times of marriage, starting a new job, motherhood, widowhood, etc.

These are the top five financial pitfalls I have observed holding women back from a secure financial future:

1. Not using a budget: While creating and maintaining a budget is a commonly dreaded affair, the benefits of keeping track of your monthly expenses far outweigh the disadvantages.

Such benefits can entail saving for retirement, buying property, or having a college fund for your children. On the other hand, not using a budget can lead to overspending and credit card debt.

Uncontrolled debt not only batters your finances but may also generate enough stress to threaten your health. Health.com writes that debt can lead to problems such as high blood pressure, which can result in heart disease or stroke; an increase in anxiety; and depression.

2. Not having an emergency fund: According to a study by BMO Harris, among people with rainy day funds, men have saved nearly twice as much as women.

How can you leave an awful job, an abusive marriage — any sort of bad situation — if you don’t have money?

Save for an emergency cash cushion and aim to have at least three to six months of living expenses in the bank.

3. A man is not a financial plan: Every woman should be her own chief financial officer instead of waiting for her knight in shining armor.

Don’t wait for Prince Charming to carry you over the threshold. Be the one paying the bills and keeping track of your assets and what you owe.

Women are increasingly earning more and, according to New York Life Investments, $14 trillion worth of personal wealth is controlled by women, which is only to increase in the years to come.

That means that, not only do women have the financial means to support themselves, but now is also the time for women to take control of their finances.

Even if you are married, don’t hand over all control of the money to your husband “because it’s a guy thing.” That robs you of your power and financial security. You, too, can be the “money person” or ask to hold monthly discussions to look at the family finances. Schedule a “financial date night,” and make it fun.

4. The need to know all the right answers and doing nothing: In many situations, I try to have all the right answers before I proceed. It turns out that many other women do the same.

But waiting to have all the answers can derail us from reaching our financial goals. For example, some people do nothing by sitting on the investing sidelines or investing too conservatively.

TheSimpleDollar.com, a free online resource, explains that women often wait to invest, or don’t invest at all, thinking that they need to know more to make any investment. However, you don’t need to be an expert, and can always ask for help.

If you really want to be wealthy, put your money to work with a nice mix of stocks and bonds. Have your money work as hard as you do — that’s what investing is all about.

5. Saving too little: Numerous studies show that, on average, women have lower savings rates than men, putting themselves at risk of outliving their money. Although women are increasingly earning more, such statistics could be credited to ongoing gender wage gaps and women leaving their jobs to become stay-at-home mothers.

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Saving for your future should be just as much of a priority as paying off debt. Women can’t afford to only think short-term.

Stay consistent with a 10% yearly savings rate, which should include your individual retirement account and/or 401(k) plan contributions. Keep the money in an account you don’t have easy access to, so you can’t transfer it and it is constantly growing for your future.

Missing out on these opportunities from an early age only means you’re going to have to work longer or save more as you get older.

A helpful trick to easy saving is to set up automatic contributions to your retirement plan at work. You can also add the auto-escalation feature, which will allow your contribution to automatically increase 1% to 2% annually.

Empower yourself and take control of your finances. It’s never too early or too late to start.

Also, using different banks for your checking and savings account can help diminish impulsive spending. It can take almost three business days to transfer money to your checking account from a separate bank, which gives you time to reconsider what you’re using your savings for.

In this way, you’re able to keep track of the money you have in your emergency fund, your vacation savings, your wedding savings and any other savings goal you want to establish.

While many women may be guilty of making these money mistakes, it’s good to know you can bounce back and turn those bad habits around at any time.

Empower yourself and take control of your finances. It’s never too early or too late to start.

Ultimately, my money rule is simple: Spend less than you earn. Never give yourself an increase in standard of living — instead, increase your savings.

You’ll see the benefits pay off for your future and for your loved ones.

 

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“Do you feel a guy likes you but he is afraid to say it”? This article is just for you!

Some men are shy like that, they will do everything and anything to please you, while acting like you are just a friend. Lol.

The dating scene is tough to navigate. It’s especially difficult when you have to try to read someone and figure out whether they actually like you or not. The fact that lots of people can be cripplingly shy about their attraction definitely doesn’t help matters!

Luckily, no matter how cautious someone is, they’re sure to let slip a few tell-tale signs that indicate their interest. Though they can differ from person to person, for the most part, they’re pretty reliable!

1.   He Jokes about liking you!

It’s not unusual for someone to fear rejection. In fact, it’s very natural. As such, a man who is afraid you aren’t interested and will turn him down may try to test the waters and gauge your reaction to a suggestion that he might like you. He may do this by making jokes about:

Having a crush on you

Going out on a date with you

Calling you his girlfriend or boyfriend

Doing something romantic together

The reason he may tell these jokes is so that if your reaction to them is not positive, he can just laugh it off and play it like a harmless, innocent joke, avoiding awkwardness and saving face.

Depending on whether you want this guy to like you or not, tailor your reactions to be clear and concise so he understands them. React negatively if you’re not interested, and positively if you are. Usually, all you have to do in this scenario if you want him to ask you out is to just react well, and after a few of these jokes, he’ll make the leap and say them for real.

2.   His body language

Body language speaks much louder than verbal language in many cases. That’s why communication, on the whole, is just as much about nonverbal language as it is about the words you say.

There are a number of ways that body language can be one of the biggest signs a man likes you. To begin with, pupil dilation is a very quick and easy way to see if someone likes you, or at least likes your appearance. Pupils dilate when they see something pleasing, after all.

Here are a bunch of other body language signs that you can take note of, such as:

An open facial expression (parted lips, slightly flared nostrils, slightly raised eyebrows)

Touching his face while looking at you

Open arms, not crossed

Facing you with his whole body

Leaning in towards you

Fidgeting with hair

A quick eyebrow raise and lower

Smoothing clothing

Playing with buttons

Fiddling or pulling socks

Spread legs when seated and facing you

Standing with legs at hip-width apart, hands on hips

Sitting on the edge of a seat

Standing straight, chest puffed, shoulders back

“Accidental” light touching

Doing big or loud motions to attract your attention

3.   He appears Jealous, even though he hides it

When you like someone and they don’t know about it, it’s easy to get jealous when other people interact with them. The same is true for most men. As such, if you speak to other people who suit your sexual orientation, flirt with them, or spend time with them, you might notice that the man you’re wondering about gets agitated or angry.

Of course, if this man is a good person, they’ll likely not admit their jealousy and won’t let it get out of hand. Jealousy, after all, is not a very positive emotion and can be toxic. But you might still be able to notice his gritted teeth and demeanor changes when he sees you with someone else.

4.   His Friends know who you are

If you hang out with this guy and his friends and they all seem to know about you, then it’s pretty easy to figure out that the man in question has been talking about you to his buddies. This means he’s likely talked about you, his interest in you, or shared some of his thoughts or feelings about you with them.

Think about it – when you’ve got a crush, don’t you tell your close friends, too? Men do the same, and even shy guys are likely to share their attraction to you with those they trust.

5.   You catch him staring

A man infatuated can’t help looking at the person he’s into. He wants to watch everything they do and admires their subtle actions and movements easily. So if you continually catch a man staring, even just quick, subtle glances, there’s a good chance that he’s into you.

Usually, when you meet the eyes of a man staring at you, he’ll quickly avert his gaze and pretend he wasn’t even looking. This is because he’s frightened of being caught, and isn’t ready to reveal his feelings for you yet. He’ll pretend to be busy, quickly glance at his phone or out the window, and basically look like someone putting on a very unconvincing act!

But, if a man lets you see that he’s staring at you, he’s already flirting with you! At that point, it’s on you to either encourage or discourage the interactions to achieve the end-goal you desire.

It’s difficult not to notice when someone’s eyes are tracking you. The human brain is actually capable of feeling an odd sensation when someone’s gaze won’t leave us, alerting us of what’s going on. Use this positive sixth-sense of sorts to determine whether that guy is watching you!

6.   He acts anxious or nervous

If someone is usually confident and smooth but acts nervously around you, then it’s a sign that they feel something special for you. If he’s usually relaxed and laid-back but becomes high-strung and fidgety whenever you’re around, that’s a pretty good indicator that he likes you!

How can you tell if someone is nervous? Here are some common nervous behaviors that he may exhibit:

A cracking, dry voice

Lots of throat-clearing

Fidgeting with any nearby object

Forgetting information

Blushing

Pacing around or swaying from side to side

Shrinking away or “escaping” the situation

Freezing up

7.   He gives you mild compliments

When someone gives you big compliments, they are being open and honest, and likely aren’t trying to hide anything. They aren’t worried about coming on too strong because they might not be coming onto you at all.

But when a man gives you very small, subtle compliments, it’s often because they’re being extra careful. They’re afraid to tell you that they like you and therefore are giving you “safe” compliments that won’t result in awkwardness or embarrassment if you turn them down. Examples include:

You look nice.

You’re a really good listener.

That’s a nice shirt/skirt/dress.

You did well on that project.

It’s fun hanging out with you!

You’re pretty cool.

You’re really good at (insert hobby or talent).

I like what you’ve done with your hair.

8.   He smiles alot around you

When a man feels good around you, he’s more likely to fall for you. Of course, feeling good also means you’re more likely to be in a good mood. So, if a man is feeling warm and fuzzy inside, they’re sure to let it show on their face through generous smiles. It’s a totally natural and positive reaction!

Of course, do note that smiling doesn’t always refer to happiness – but you can’t deny that someone ecstatic to see you will be grinning from ear to ear! A lot of times, a man who likes you but is afraid to say it will try to dampen his smile or make it less obvious so his feelings aren’t found out.

As such, it’s important that you pay attention to how the smiling occurs. Does this guy smile all the time? Is he usually serious, but now has a bit of a grin? Does he look like he’s trying not to smile too much? Take note!

9.   He Somehow Always Manages To Spend Some Time With You

Someone who likes you is going to want to spend time with you. That’s just how it works. After all, being with that person makes you feel good, so it’s only natural to want to increase those feelings.

Of course, we’re not talking about stalking or predatory behavior. We’re referring to the ways that someone will try to see you as often as he can!

If a man likes you but is afraid of showing it, he will find any and every excuse possible to hang out with you. He just happens to be around you a lot, or chooses or be in close quarters with you. He might:

Decide to attend an event because he knows you’re going

Join your table during meals

Seem to have something to say to you often

Stop by your table/desk/place of work often, even if it’s just for a few minutes

Give you his full attention whenever he is around you

“Bump into you” fairly often

There is more…

When someone is trying to hide their feelings, it can be tough to decipher them and figure out whether or not they’re into you. One or two of these 9 signs a man likes you on very rare occasions may not indicate a serious crush, but several of them exhibited often certainly point to that!

What is there to do next? Well, if you aren’t interested, make it clear. But if you are, then why not make the first move? Waiting it out is a fine option, but it’s definitely a slow one, and sometimes you have to learn to take a leap of faith. So get your positive thinking going and just go for it!

Esther Ijewere™©

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It’s hard to make a relationship stronger when your man is often negative. You must recognize the signs that he’s jealous and controlling early on. Don’t invest too much time in a non-productive partnership. If you find that he exhibits behaviors like these ten, you might need to find a new one before valentine :

1. He doesn’t call you, text you, or respond when you’re out with girlfriends.

It’s his way of showing you that he resents the time you spend with others because you’re not with him. If he isn’t happy, then he doesn’t want you to be happy. Like anything else in life that feels overwhelming, the feeling of being ignored when you’re doing something that makes you happy is not acceptable.

2. He won’t admit when he feels jealous, but he will withhold affection.

Sometimes he’ll refuse to be intimate, especially after he started a fight. It feels like he’s making you pay twice for his poor choice of behavior instead of accepting responsibility for his actions. You can tell if he really loves you by the way he looks at you.

3. He often makes excuses for not taking you out.

He doesn’t want you where you’ll attract attention from single men. If there is something he doesn’t want to do with you, then do it alone. Don’t let him hold you back or make you regret not doing things that make you happy. You are the one who decides how to live your best life!

4. He wants to decide the mood for both of you.

He will work hard to adjust any plans to be in control, and he will sabotage things he doesn’t want to do. When he’s feeling up, he expects you to feel the same. When he’s feeling down, he expects you to be miserable. You don’t get to have a say in what you do with your time together because he’s in control.

5. He will take steps to avoid being alone with you.

It’s hard for him to overcome jealousy. The underlying problem could be that you have both gotten into a boring intimacy pattern and he doesn’t want to admit it. You could spice things up and increase both of your libidos by trying something new, like taking tango lessons.

6. If you are in a really good mood, he cuts you down.

Or, he brings up something negative to change your mood. You know that positive thinking, especially daily meditation, will lower your stress levels. Even when you haven’t done anything wrong, he feels better about himself by bringing you down. This is because he suffers from low self-esteem or another personal problem that has nothing to do with your relationship. He is the jealous type, and his insecurities affect many of the days you spend together.

7. He resists your positive influences.

You can pray for him and wish him positive thoughts, but he should fix himself. You want him to overcome jealousy, but he enjoys being miserable. When you suggest taking a walk on the beach together, he says, “No, I’ll just stay home in my boxers and watch UFC. No fun today.”

8. To make you feel jealous, he pays attention to other women.

He often looks at them, flirts with them, and adds them to his Facebook or Snapchat. However, whenever this happens, you aren’t “allowed” to feel jealous. If you try it, he gets livid.

9. He leaves the restaurant if you talk to another guy.

He doesn’t give you a chance to explain that you are reconnecting with a long-lost friend or a college study partner.

10. He makes up details about past boyfriends.

You hate this because he does it in front of friends, colleagues, or members of the family. If he wasn’t insecure, he wouldn’t judge you for the past. A boyfriend who loves you will not use anything you might have shared to embarrass you.

Esther Ijewere™©

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Tacha has definitely been up to a lot since she left the Big Brother Naija house. She has snagged various endorsement deals, established her own clothing line and now she is raising the bar by setting up her own reality show.

It’s a known fact that Tacha managed to captivate our attention during and after BBN and now she has given us the opportunity to get up close and personal with her daily life, by launching her own spinoff reality show which she has called, “Keeping up with Tacha (KUWT).”

According to her, the reality show will feature entertaining mini series and lots more. So our fingers are crossed.

Watch the teaser below:

A mother’s genetics determines how clever her children are, according to researchers, and the father makes no difference.

Women are more likely to transmit intelligence genes to their children because they are carried on the X chromosome and women have two of these, while men only have one.

But in addition to this, scientists now believe genes for advanced cognitive functions which are inherited from the father may be automatically deactivated.

A category of genes known as “conditioned genes” are thought to work only if they come from the mother in some cases and the father in other cases. Intelligence is believed to be among the conditioned genes that have to come from the mother.

Laboratory studies using genetically modified mice found that those with an extra dose of maternal genes developed bigger heads and brains, but had little bodies. Those with an extra dose of paternal genes had small brains and larger bodies.

Researchers identified cells that contained only maternal or paternal genes in six different parts of the mouse brains which controlled different cognitive functions, from eating habits to memory.

Cells with paternal genes accumulated in parts of the limbic system, which is involved in functions such as sex, food and aggression. But researchers did not find any paternal cells in the cerebral cortex, which is where the most advanced cognitive functions take place, such as reasoning, thought, language and planning.

Concerned that people might not be like mice, researchers in Glasgow took a more human approach to exploring intelligence. They found the theories extrapolated from mice studies bear out in reality when they interviewed 12,686 young people between the ages of 14 and 22 every year from 1994. Despite taking into account several factors, from the participants education to their race and socio-economic status, the team still found the best predictor of intelligence was the IQ of the mother.

However, research also makes it clear that genetics are not the only determinant of intelligence – only 40 to 60 per cent of intelligence is estimated to be hereditary, leaving a similar chunk dependent on the environment.

But mothers have also been found to play an extremely significant role in this non-genetic part of intelligence, with some studies suggesting a secure bond between mother and child is intimately tied to intelligence.

Researchers at the University of Washington found that a secure emotional bond between a mother and child is crucial for the growth of some parts of the brain. After analysing the way a group of mothers related to their children for seven years, the researchers found children who were supported emotionally and had their intellectual needs fulfilled had a 10 per cent larger hippocampus at 13 on average than children whose mothers were emotionally distant. The hippocampus is an area of the brain associated with memory, learning and stress response.

A strong bond with the mother is thought to give a child a sense of security which allows them to explore the world, and the confidence to solve problems. In addition, devoted, attentive mothers tend to help children solve problems, further helping them to reach their potential.

Of course, there’s no reason why fathers can’t play as big a nurture role as mothers. And researchers point out that a whole array of other gene determined traits – like intuiton and emotions – which can be inherited from the father are also key to unlocking potential intelligence, so fathers – don’t despair.

Source: Independent UK

In addition to Griffin Insurance, Abass and her team have another company called Lami that sells the same technology that Griffin Insurance uses so that other businesses can use it to create their own digital insurance products.

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