Hello WORriors! Today is #ThrowBackThursday and we are throwing back these old photos of comedian, Tv Host, actress, and singer, Helen ‘Tataafo’ Paul!
Hello WORriors! Our Woman Crush for this week’s #WomanCrushWednesday is Iyabo Ojo. Iyabo Alice Ogunro-Ojo is a proud mother, businesswoman, actress, film maker, and philanthropist. She was born on 21 December 1977 in Lagos. She is from Abeokuta in Ogun State. She studied Estate Management at Lagos State Polytechnic.
She started acting in 1998 and made her debut in the movie, Satanic, an English-language film. In 2002, she made her Yoruba-language debut with Baba Darijiwon. She started producing her own films in 2004 and her first production was Bolutife. She has featured in over 150 movies and has produced over 14 movies of her own.
Iyabo Ojo launched her NGO, Pinkies Foundation, which caters to the children with special needs and the less privileged on May 2011. She is also the CEO of FESPRIS Production; and FesprisWorld;Spa, Salon,Mimi bouquet. She recently got unveiled as the brand ambassador of Larriett luxury shoes, alongside Monalisa Chinda.
Women Of Rubies celebrates you, dear Iyabo Ojo!
I do tell people that one of the most toxic, dangerous thing to do is to keep and nurse grudges. When you hold grudges against someone, you unconsciously become angry, bitter, and miserable…and from there, you proceed to looking for ways to make the person suffer (most especially when you see that the person is happy). Anger, bitterness, misery, grudges, unforgiving spirit, are all unnecessary baggages and you don’t need them in your life, so why don’t you throw them out!
I’m naturally a happy person so I hate any form of negative vibes around me. I don’t like dullness, bitterness, sadness, around me so I always try to make anywhere I am, lively. If you offend me, I will let you know straightaway(even if I have to ‘para’ for you) and if you don’t think the reasonable thing to do is to accept the fact that you have hurted my feelings and apologize, I would forgive you in my heart and forget about the whole drama because I can’t allow you to take my peace of mind and happiness away. People find it surprising the way I straighten people out(by mostly ‘para-ing’ for them) and within the next seconds, I’m back to my playful self with them. Whenever I’m asked how I easily switch like that, my response is always ”Life is too short, my happiness is important, and I can’t allow anything or anyone to block my blessings and happiness ke” If I have issues or disagreement with someone, I always look for ways to settle up and liven things up even if I’m right and the person is wrong. If I see that the person is being stiff and doesn’t want to settle up, I’d scoff and say ”wahala ti e ma niyen o..na you sabi” and move on with my life.
Do you know that when you keep grudges, you unconsiously block your blessings and happiness? Is anything or anyone worth losing your blessings and happiness, for? If you offend someone, what’s the big deal in apologizing to the person? Why wait for an apology before you can forgive? Sadly enough, some people find it hard and demeaning to say ‘sorry’. Some people gets ashamed when it comes to apologizing for being wrong. Don’t be like that. Don’t wait for someone to come and apologize to you before you can forgive. Don’t be proud or ashamed to apologize when you are wrong. Forgive and seek forgiveness for your own happiness and peace of mind. Even the Holy Books emphasize on the importance of letting go and forgiveness. There is one verse in the Bible that says ”Leave room for wrath but the sun must go down on your wrath” and the verse also clearly says that you must not take revenge but you should leave revenge for God. God knows that as human beings, we have emotions and so it is natural for us to get offended but we are not allowed to get too angry and we are not allowed to hold grudges. Trust me, I know how hard it is to let go and forgive, but you need to let go..it is very important. If you find it hard to forgive all on your own (you can’t even do it all on your own without God) talk to God in prayers and ask Him to help you..and He surely will help you.
I see people cursing, bad-mouthing, and causing problems for their exes, all because they dumped them. You don’t need that. Leave them to God and let Him handle them. I see people finding it hard to move on with their lives and learn to love again, because they are still smarting from the bad experiences they have had in their past relationships, and are finding it hard to forgive and forget…I say to you, it’s time to let go. Forget your past, bad experiences. Not every man/woman is going to be like your last partner. There is someone out there who is going to love you like you have never being loved before, and that person won’t be able to find you if you are still living in your past. Let go and let love find you!
Today, decide to throw out the unnecessary baggages you have been dragging around in your life. You don’t need them anymore because they are too heavy for your life and they are slowing your journey to a better, brighter place! It is time to throw out those unnecessary baggages, It is time to let go!
By Lydia Oladejo.
Facebook: Lydia Oladejo
Instagram: @lydiaoladejo
Email: lydiaoladejo@gmail.com
Last week I had loads of fun with the Old Girls’ Association of my secondary school. It was the maiden edition of our reunion and we were happy to see each other again. Of course we have changed, both in looks and sizes, but one thing was sure, we all have fond memories of our secondary school days. It was weird to realise that I graduated from secondary school exactly 20 years ago. There was so much to catch up on, and so much to gossip about. I am looking forward to the gathering again.
My school, St Joseph’s College Aba, was a very popular school and one of the best schools in our time. The standard of education and moral values were high. It also was also reputed to have the finest girls then, and as such our school activities always witnessed large turnout of male guests’ et al. We, the students, always represented that image with well-ironed short school uniforms and our heads held high.
I lived in boarding house and it was great fun. In fact, I learnt how to look out foe and take decisions for myself in the boarding house.I went into the boarding house young and naïve, but I came out sharp and street smart.
You see, lesbianism didn’t start today o. Oh no, even in Biblical times it has always existed. I, however, came to the knowledge of lesbianism in the boarding house. My school being an all-girls school was very much into lesbianism.
It was called ‘sure’ and the partners were referred to as lovers. Some school mothers and their school daughters turned their relationship from mentorship to lesbianism. It was a big deal then, and if as a junior student you didn’t have a lover you were deemed as being ‘jew’ – an unattractive and inactive person. I was initially curious to know what and how they did their ‘sure’ act, and when those who have experienced it narrated it to me, it just didn’t feel right to me. I believed intimacy was supposed to be between both sexes and not vice versa.
Anyway I kept my thoughts to myself and went about my business, no one wanted me as a ‘supe’. I was too stubborn to the seniors. I would flout school rules and regulations with my friend, and would be the first to report any senior that victimised or intimidated me to the principal – in well spoken English. God help the senior if she did not defend herself in English, as well as I did, the principal would show her pepper.
So, they all hated me and used every opportunity available to flog me. However in my JSS 3, I was almost lured into ‘supe’. It had become a norm amongst my friends, and I was almost the only one who didn’t have a lover.
One of the most beautiful and popular seniors in SS3 approached me after admiring my legs. I promised her I would think about it, because I had my reservations about her due to the rumours about her being possessed by evil spirits.
She persisted, buying me snacks during break, and making sure I ate the best portion of food during dinning hours. Valentine’s day was approaching, so I decided to give the ‘supe’ thingy a trial. On Valentine’s Day, she sent me the biggest card I had ever seen and a set of lingerie. I was touched. Later that evening I honoured the invitation to her hostel, not knowing that I was going to sleep there. So when I entered the seniors’ hostel, I saw that all the bunk beds had been covered with mosquito nets and then bed sheets. There was practically no way to let air into the bed, I got scared because I can’t stay in a choked environment. She explained that the bed sheets were for privacy. I started wondering how I would breathe through the covering. I quickly lied to her that I hadn’t taken my bath because I thought that I would go back to sleep in my hostel. I begged her to let me go and freshen up and then come back. She agreed. I ran to my hostel and slept there.
She was very angry with me the next day. I apologised to her, promising to repeat the visit, while inwardly wondering how I would get myself out of the mess I was in. Fortunately for me, she woke up very early one morning and sat on the bare floor in front of her hostel. She refused to get up, claiming that she was instructed by her ‘people’ to stay there for the whole day, and indeed she stayed there even in the hot sun. My friends, the kain Ben Johnson wey I do. I ran faster than Usain Bolt and never contacted her again. I was more than relieved when she got another girl in my set as her ‘supe’ and forgot about me.
After that experience, I learnt never to allow myself be influenced by peer pressure or the need to belong. We can’t al belong in the same place. Some can belong in the sitting room and some can belong in the kitchen.
You can share any tales about your secondary school as well….
So before I proceed with the usual banter that accompanies my vlogs, I guess I should say two things. The first is, Happy Valentine’s Day! May love always be in your life!
The second is a bit of a confession. Although this is a love/relationship styled vlog, I actually recorded it MONTHS ago but for some reason never released. And given we are smack bang in the season of love, it seemed appropriate to do so now.
This video is actually a sequel to an earlier vlog “How to make a Nigerian woman Happy” which you can watch here (link- https://youtu.be/WmFbOzo9snI). To create this video, I called quite a number of male friends and I was surprised by how simple and quite frankly ‘basic’ they claimed their requirements for happiness were.
As you watch this video, remember that every relationship is different because the people who make up these relationships, differ in backgrounds, character and many other things, so it is important to first understand your partner. It also always helpful to actually have an upfront conversation- ask him or her- what makes you happy? How can we both make our relationship, marriage or friendship a happy one?
So do you think you make your man happy? Please feel free to share some tips and tricks in the comments section or email me on glory@inspiredbyglory.com and if you haven’t done so already, please be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel @inspiredbyglory. Catch ya later!
Thank you!
See you next week!
Ladies, you have been praying about your new relationship. You even chose to pray when he started misbehaving.
You asked God to show you signs if you should marry him or not.
Suddenly, his mild bad attitudes became worse. He even maltreat and abuse you more. He doesn’t respect you and doesn’t bother about your welfare.
You have been asking him what went wrong and he says nothing or talks down on you.
You have been fasting and praying more for greater signs and wonders and after every prayer, his attitudes become worse.
What else do you want?
Greater miracles? Unseen signs and wonders?
The problem is not that you can’t see the signs, you just expect a change because you’re deep in love. You are obsessed.
The love is not the problem, he is not the issue too, you just haven’t discovered who you are what you want and what you deserve.
You even think you don’t deserve better. You are so used to being abused and you have embraced it more. You keep projecting your insecurities but you think you are just a slaying Queen.
Take a look at your past and your present. Observe the patterns, notice the emotional instability and ask yourself questions that can preserve your future.
Don’t get carried away by the internet and it’s societal pressure of what a woman is.
Don’t read fashion magazines alone, read quality books too.
Your life is more than what you see now. You are a treasure waiting to be found.
Pause and seek within. You deserve more.
Don’t limit yourself to the experiences you have had with friends and men while growing up.
You need to sort out your issues and inner demon before it consumes you.
I know what it feels like to be insecure and have low self-esteem. It’s not a good pace to be. I know what it means to seek for validation from men and relationships but that’s not what you need yet. Let God fill your heart and give you a sense of purpose and essence. Work on your values and what you project. Talk to someone if it’s not doable by you.
Enough of nudity, promiscuity, abusive relationships and purposeless life.
It’s time for you to evolve.
We can connect on: adenikeadedokun@gmail.com if you need to talk about it.
The beautiful things about morning is that they largely determine the rest part of the day. To keep that get-fit momentum going all day long, start your day off right with these morning habits that will motivate you even more.
GET SOME SUN
Basking in the sun’s rays can help you drop pounds. Why? Morning light helps regulate your internal clock, which aids your sleep schedule (crucial for weight loss). Morning sunshine also contains higher levels of blue light, which has the strongest effect on your circadian rhythm. You only need 20-30 minutes of morning sunlight between 8 a.m. and noon to get in on these benefits!
GET IN A MINDFUL MOOD
Mindfulness is a key strategy when it comes to weight loss. It’s all about taking a focused, intentional approach to your life by really tuning in to your body and mind. Even better, it can stabilize your emotions, potentially making you less likely to give into stress-based eating. Take a few minutes at the start of each day to sit quietly and focus on the rhythm of your breath.
CHANGE UP YOUR COMMUTE
Driving to work is easy, but it may not be best for your waistline. A study published in the journal BMJ shows that people who walk, bike, and take public transportation have lower BMIs and body-fat percentages than those who depended on their cars to get to work. Even walking to the closest bus stop or train station can be beneficial.
GO HIGH-PROTEIN
While the jury’s still out on whether breakfast is essential for weight loss, a healthy dose of protein in the morning looks like it can help you drop pounds. Protein takes a long time to digest and pushes your body to secrete the gut hormone Peptide YY, which helps increase feelings of fullness.
Photocredit : kokofeed.com
I grew up in a nice middle class home.
Growing up in a middle class family had its pros and cons.
The pros were:
- We had just enough to eat
- We had just enough clothes to wear
- We had a roof over our head
- We had a good enough school to attend
- We lived in a secure enough environment
In a country where over 70% of people live below one dollar a day, having those five things made you privileged!
I remember being driven around in my Dad’s staff car(official car in the military) and looking out of the window at the crowd in Oshodi(a busy area in Lagos) which was not so far from our home in Airforce base Ikeja and wondering why people had to go through so much stress to make a living….
Little did I know that some years later I would join that crowd as I made my way in life…
Which leads me to the cons:
- A false sense of security that made you want to stay safe and remain there forever.
- A fear of dreaming big and wanting more; you were already in the top 30% so what more could you want?
- Just enough became good enough!
One day I got fed up and told my sister that this was the curse of the middle class; just enough to keep you going, but never more than enough to give you the best life had to offer…
I wanted more!
My journey to searching for more led me through mountains, valleys, heart breaks and breakthroughs which mainly started to come when I developed a relationship with God and found my purpose.
6 years ago after a pseudo recovery from another heartache that life threw my way, I decided I was going to write a book!
For me, writing has always being therapeutic and the book was going to empower people to live their best lives and find their purpose.
5 years ago, I wrote a book with and about Mrs Tara Fela-Durotoye in what was supposed to be a series titled ‘The Empowering women series’. It was a great adventure, but distribution and awareness creation was a herculean task as social media had not opened up as it has now.
I shelved the series and kept on living my life and doing my work…..
I knew I was going to write again. About what, I did not know.
As my work as a business coach progressed, I thought it was logical that I wrote a book about how to grow a successful business. However, I began to remember how I felt all those years when I said to myself; there has to be more!
I started remembering the questions I was asked by several people about how to find their work that they could make into a profitable passion. It became clear to me that people were looking to find their niche.
I kept that in mind as something I would possibly write about to give people a practical guide to find their niche and turn it into a profitable passion.
However, I did not have a book title…..
Last year April, I began to feel restless, I had that same nagging feeling in my heart that there must be more, I realized once again that I was not living to my fullest potential.
I was letting fear rule again, the curse of the middle class was haunting me again…just enough was becoming good enough!
I took some time off to think, strategize and pray and one day, I woke up with a word in my heart; UPLEVEL!
I had never searched for that word before so I was curious. According to the urban dictionary, Uplevel means to grow in areas you have been previously stagnant.
I knew it was my word! I knew I had found my call to action! Most importantly, I had found my book title.
The other day, someone called me the Uplevel queen. I smiled because I realize one word has really made such a significant impact on my life and it is time for me to share it with the world.
The book is titled “Uplevel-find your niche, share your story, build your tribe and profit from your passion”.
My goal through the book is to take you on a journey to uplevel. I provide both inspiration and practical exercises that will guide you to find your niche, teach you how to craft a compelling story, show you how to build a tribe of raving fans and customers and then guide you to profit from you passion as you serve the world at your highest potential.
Uplevel is a call for you to raise your standards, to awaken that part of you that ‘life happened’ has shut down. It is also a practical guide to show you how to do this.
The book is slated to be officially available on the 6th of March 2017, however we have opened it for pre-orders for the next two weeks (13th to 28th of March) for people who want to enjoy the special privilege of getting it first at a discounted price and also get some special bonuses with it.
I will be doing free and exclusive uplevel book workshops in various cities in Nigeria. Our first workshop is slated for Sunday March 26th in Lagos and we already have some amazing brands partnering to make it an amazing experience.
If you pre-order the book, you will be on the priority sitting list.
I want to go on this journey with you to Uplevel and I want us to partner, if you are ready to start the journey, you can learn more, watch videos and pre-order your copy of the book at www.talealimi.com/uplevelbook.
It is your time to raise your standards and Uplevel!
Just in time for Valentine’s day, publicist, talent/brand manager and event producer, Lola Adamson shared her very relatable (yes! very relateable lol) list of things guys do or say that constantly piss women off in this new episode of her vlog; LolaUnflittered.
“Welcome to another unfiltered episode of Lola Unfiltered, Lol! On this episode, I talk about some things men say or do that annoy the women in their lives. Share your thoughts with us in the comment box below, let me know what your husband, boyfriend, friends or brother says to tick you off, Lol.“
I just wanted to share my opinion on the subject matter. Hopefully, people can see reasons as to why I think this way.
Personally, I do not believe that anyone “should” pamper or spend on anyone. What I mean is that it is NOT a responsibility or an obligation that someone has to “fulfill”.
Therefore, I believe that these “should” mindsets are also responsible for a good number of unnecessary issues in relationships… men “should” do this, women “should” do that, it is a man who is “supposed” to do this or women are not “supposed” to do this, and so on.
It is silly to me… nonsense, in my opinion.
And NO, I’m not talking about gender roles in nature. No! I am talking about these things we call “culture” in this part of the world, that people use as excuses to cover up their selfishness or pride.
All of the women I’ve had relations with in the past, did not think that way, thankfully. I mean, they did not think that as the man, I “should” spend on them or that I was “supposed” to be the one pampering, and so on. And yes, they were ALL Nigerians!
Well, there was one (the Devil Woman) who thought I was “supposed” to do a loooong list of things lol.
In the other relationships however, we both pampered each other, and spent on each other. But we did so because we WANTED to… not because we were obligated to, not because we “should” or were “supposed” to.
We take each other out without the other having to ask, at random and on occasions. We gift each other things at random and on occasion, not because it is required, but because we want to. We pampered and spent on each other as we were capable and able to… NOT because it was a “requirement”. We give because we want to.
I am grateful that I am able give. I give when I can, as often as I can. My former roommate once said that I have the gift of gift giving, or something like that.
But I don’t give gifts because I am “supposed” to, or because as a man I “should” give gifts. I do because I love them and so I want to make them happy. It never mattered who gave or didn’t give, or how often the gift, money or pampering was give. We did not care about all that at all.
If you love someone, you will pamper and spend on them BECAUSE you love them… NOT because you are a man and men “should” gift more, or women “should” receive more, or whatever.
If you claim to love someone, but refuse to pamper or spend on them because it is NOT your “responsibility” as a woman, then I think that maybe you are just being selfish.
Because I don’t see why you would have the capability to pamper your man (once in a while like Helium suggested) and then you will fold your hands and say “Mba! Not me! He’s the man in the relationship. He’s the one who should pamper me.” Mbiko, why?
If you hold back from doing these things that you actually can, and you choose not to, simply because it’s your partner who “should” do those things… then I think you are probably being selfish.
If your excuse is that your partner will feel you’re desperate or that you’re throwing yourself at them… then I think you’re in the wrong relationship. I’m sorry!
If your excuse is that your partner will take your spending and pampering for granted, or that they will take advantage of it then… then I think you are probably in the wrong relationship! You better find your way out of that relationship while you can!
I mean, why would you want to be in a serious relationship with someone who will take you for granted (or take advantage of you), for ANY reason whatsoever? If that’s the kind of partner you desire, then by every means… don’t pamper them, so that they won’t take advantage or take you for granted. Because the “right” person for you is not one who will take you for granted, whether you pamper them or not, whether you throw yourself at them or not, whether you spend on them or not.
I often say that… if one “has” to get a second job, just to be in a relationship with you, then something is NOT right. If being your boyfriend means I need a second source of income, then something is NOT right.
So I don’t think anyone “should”. Do you love them or do you not? Because that’s what all this boils down to… it’s either you love them or you don’t!
Read my definition of love again (attached below), and there you will find the simple answer to whether or not who “should” do this or that.
I welcome your comments.
By: Okiemute Omuta
Copied from his Facebook Page.
