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Women of Rubies

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self development

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No one is perfect says the world but some vices are more bothersome than the others. Many men can relate with this topic. I wonder if men talk about how much their wives love to spend on hair- whether braids, wigs or natural replenishment. Better still, if they talk about our bags, watches, lotions, spas, dresses, perfumes. What of our vacations? And our constant shopping of toys for the kids!! Oh women!

Ok, now that we have satisfied the men, let us share some of the ache of the ladies. Does your man spend a lot on TGIF! A drink here and there, designer belts, designer ties and shirts- all the same color (white and blue). God bless the women that their spouses love games too! What of the man that likes to loan everyone in the office?

Spending is part of life. Some will argue, what is the point of earning money and stashing it. What is the point of investment? If not to spend it later. There is a popular Ebenezer Obey song that says ‘olowo majeye, eyin lomo, awon to laye lana da, won ti ku won ti lo’. It means rich man/woman that doesn’t want to spend and enjoy life, na you sabi. those that were alive yesterday are dead and gone.

I agree to an extent. It sucks to be stingy. It sucks to have money and live like a pauper. However, there are limits.

A spendaholic is someone that spends arbitrarily. This means irrational, not planned, not needed spending. Spending for the sake of spending. Spending as if he/she did not work hard to earn the money. Spending on any and everything. Buying everything in sight. This is not cool.

Here are tips to handle.

1.Show the problem. First step is to show the spender that there is a problem. Most spenders have different reasons for their habits. Some will say ‘ how much is this bag sef, sebi it is just N20,000. What can I do with that money anyway. It cannot buy me land, cannot buy me a car. So let me enjoy’. Educate the person that N50,000 set aside monthly for 10 years is N6,000,000. Even without any interests. Go through the person’s bank statement and add up all the little costs here and there and it will amaze you how much it adds up to.

2.Proffer alternatives but don’t create a bondage. No one wants to feel like a child being monitored, so allow flexibility. An easy way to do this is to create 3 accounts: one for yourself, one for spouse and one for joint projects. Agree with your spouse an amount on projects and investment and focus your energy on that. Example, we try to do 30%- 40% on investments and dedicate that to the joint project account. Then, each person can manage his/her personal pocket money as they like. They secret here is to take as much as possible for projects so that spouse has just enough for life! (Wink) and a few luxuries. Also, ensure both of you are aligned to the project or dream. Do not impose your dreams on your spouse. This is a NO- NO! and NO!

3. Link loans to spouses account or set up alternative systems. A clean way to block money with a shopaholic is to link project loans to the account. Whether we like it or not, the debit alert for loans happen ‘gbagaun’ automatically monthly. So link this and you won’t have to worry about ‘lau lau’ spending. However, ensure that loans are taken for productive ventures that can pay itself and the interests on capital.

a.Alternatively, set up recurring bank instructions. You can instruct the bank to move some money out of your account into a savings account as soon as allowy/salary lands at month end.

4. Have a budget and financial goals. This is key. Every year, I set financial goals. E.g.

a.I want to build a commercial property

b.I want to build up cash up to XX amount

c.I want to pay off loans

d.I want to invest in children’s education trust fund

e.I want to set up a community CSR fund pot.

f.I want to set up children’s university savings

g.I want to establish my younger one’s business

h.I want to take a vacation.

Let us be clear. This is not about me. So replace ‘I’ in above sentences with your name. This is about you. Make a list of your financial goals for 2017 now. Draw up a budget too. What % of your income will you spend on accommodation, feeding, education, children’s school fees, beauty, tithe, giving back, transport, savings, investment, gadgets etc?

5. Keep some fun money aside. All work and no play makes Adunni a dull girl. So remember Obey’s song. Spend some money on things you love, things that make you happy so you can live long enough to spend the savings. Remember, no one was born a shopaholic. With a lot of love, support and education, your spouse will be a financial guru in no time. At the same time, don’t victimize your spouse in the name of financial training. Everyone is different and your spouse may never get to the level of discipline you have.

What do you think?

By: MrsCeo Naija

Pic Credit: shutterstock.com

 

Most people toy with the idea of becoming entrepreneurs at least once in their life. I mean who wouldn’t? Especially after coming across a very successful one. Yeah, I know that feeling. But frankly speaking, entrepreneurship is not as rosy as it seems. So don’t just run into it because your cousin did so, and he seems to be doing well.

Personally I took that leap of faith that made me a die-hard entrepreneur sometime in 2013, and since then I have not looked back. I have had my fair share of challenges, but rather than deter me, they propel me for greater heights. And if given the opportunity again, I will still opt for entrepreneurship over and over again.

What about you? Have you ever toyed with the idea of being your own boss? Have you ever wondered if starting and running a business is your thing?

Don’t look too far. The clues below will help you make that decision. Of course, it is not exhaustive, but don’t hesitate to raise your hands and shout Hallelujah if I make a point that kinda hits close to home.

Let’s walk…

You wanna be Independent
Earlier this month, I visited an old friend of mine in Warri. And even though we have been in touch to an extent, I was really shocked and excited to see how well he was doing for himself. We had a lot of catch-up time, and I just couldn’t resist asking him what prompted him to quit his job when he did.

I mean, I remember when he was working in Enugu. And before I knew what was happening I heard he quit and started his own business. His main reason? Independence.

You see that life where you call the shots on how you spend your day, where you go, what you do, when you work or not, and most especially, how much you earn, it cannot be quantified.

For me, my eureka moment was when I told myself that even if I was selling zobo and puff-puff, I would make much more than I was being offered in the last place I worked. And when I got to that point, there was no stopping me.

Your job doesn’t give you fulfillment
I know what it means to work at a job that doesn’t give fulfillment. I mean you wake up in the morning happy, only to get sad at the thought of going to work.

Yeah, used to happen to me a lot when I was working with an Insurance company in Lagos.

Truth is that everyone wants to be fulfilled. And if your job doesn’t offer you that, it’s time you thought seriously about creating a job that could give you just that. If working at that crazy million dollar idea of yours smells fulfillment to you…that’s a sign right there.

You don’t want to compromise on your life Goals
Sometime in 2009 I wrote down a list of things I hoped to do before I die. One of them was what drove me to go for what became my first swimming experience. Apart from that, I equally wrote a lot of things that had to do with starting and running a couple of businesses.

But I didn’t just write these goals down; I got committed to pursuing them. I knew that a goal I don’t pursue will never get actualized.

If your job is not helping you achieve your life goals and you’re no longer comfortable with that, it is time to consider moving from employee to entrepreneurship. Nothing should matter more than achieving your life goals. That should form the very essence of your daily activities. So look at your job again, is it servicing your life goals?

Recurrent ideas
Don’t quit your regular job because of one idea that just flashed your mind. Ask every successful entrepreneur, it really has to be an idea that keeps coming to you. In my own case, the thoughts kept me awake at night, and gave me daydreams during the day.

So don’t be deaf. Take note of those ideas that keeps coming to you. The more recurrent, the clearer it becomes. These recurrent ideas come with an unusual surge of energy. If that is you, then entrepreneurship is for you.

An idea is the first milestone in building a successful business. Tweet that!

Your passion
Passion fuels inspiration. If your inspiration is fueled by a passion for something outside your regular 9-5 job, then please consider following your passion.

Find something you are passionate about and do it passionately. If you love the social media a lot, Instagram for instance, then let your passion drive you to seek out how to monetize that Instagram account.

But note that passion, not money, should guide your decision to become an entrepreneur. If you are genuinely passionate about providing a solution, then you are surely going to do well as an entrepreneur.

The hallmark of entrepreneurs is their passion for providing solutions other than just the prospect of a better paycheck. (Quote me)

So, what’s your story? Has the thought of starting your own business been giving you sleepless nights? What’s been keeping you from taking that leap of faith, even if it’s a side-hustle? What are you waiting for?

 

Source: Bellanaija.com

Propelled by the need to be there for my boys on their special days, especially birthdays which I was deprived of by my banking work schedule. I decided to start throwing a class party And the very first one I did was for my son who turned 5 in the month of january.

The beauty and joy of finally being there for them, made me put in the very best concept together to ensure he gets a wow celebration even though the budget was slim.

Most kids in his class were wow’d too and I deliberately put my business flier inside the goodie baags so their parents can contact me to replicate saame celebration for their children.

And it worked. Because I later got to know through their class teacher that parents were calling to find out what was special about nino’s class party that made their kids insist they want his kind of party. And thank God, his party was in january, I soon had client for the whole year calender starting with 2 in the month of february.

This particular event taught me a huge lesson. And thats because I goofed at delivering. It was for 2 clients, same school but 2 days apart.

I had hired a new vendor to make the birthday cakes a‎nd gave her the different dates for the celebrants.

She wanted to exceed my expectations and so she delivered the cakes 2days earlier just to convince me that she could do so.

You should have seen the disappointment on my face when I realised the problem that would cause since I didn’t have an appropriate storage for cakes ‎and I wasn’t knowledgeable enough to even tell how it can be preserved.

To make matters worse, she made a huge sized cake that didn’t even fit into my medium sized refrigerator and at that point I knew I was in for a lot of surprises. I gave her the feedback from my experience and what my fears were and She assured me that if I opened up the cake to natural air, ‎it will be preserved. I did as adviced and that only caused more damage, as ants found their way straight to the iced fondant on the cake and in no time, made it their play ground.

I couldn’t wait for the days to pass so I can deliver the cakes and conduct the class party.

The first was a huge success but the second was not and that’s because the celebrants mum noticed the cake was spoilt and was so agitated that it was delivered for small kids to eat.

She feared they were going to get sick had she not noticed the slimy effect on the knife she dipped into the cake to cut it. I apologized, took the blame, assumed responsibility by replacing with a better ‎cake few days later but the damage had been done and my client wasn’t pleased with what went down on her daughters birthday. Although she thanked me for going extra mile to replace the spoilt cake, she also adviced never to use unreliable vendors and suggested to me other bakers she has used in previous times. That meeting ended well with a new list of reliable vendors to my list.

Soon after that episode, I needed to regain some sort of confidence that I could still do well in this new venture I have chosen, I continued my daily bbm broadcast, advertising with excitement my events planning prowess. I even uploaded pictures on my social media page, telling my friends what we are capable of doing with a slim budget at esobevents, and the effect of the party on the child.

This pictures and post attracted a lot of parent who’s 9-5 schedule also deprived them of being there for their kids, or who couldn’t throw a large party because of minimal budget.

From sorting and packaging the children party packs, to the cake and their favourite carton character, i was soon becoming the “go to source” for a good quality children’s party.

From class parties, I was recommended for ‎house parties and later large children’s party because I wouldn’t stop talking about how good we are at handling that social aspect.

At one of such ‎parties, I would act as the Mc, dance with the kids, paint their faces and create activities just to manage the budget.

It was fun for me and I didn’t put to thoughts the energy involved . Most times,i’ll return home tired with only N5000 ($10) as my take home. Out of which I’ll have to pay some of my team members and also transportation which later leaves me with a profit of less the ($3) at the end of the day.

I landed my big break December same year when I ventured into packaging hampers for christmas and distributing it to corporate and high networth individuals, I submitted proposals through my network of friends and always drop my ‎contact card inside the parcel.

I went for a follow up of my proposals one day and in the midst of the meeting , my proposed client mentioned that he will like to celebrate his wife and needed someone who can put things in place for him. And I said that’s what I do as an events planner.

He told me what he wanted and sooner we were already on the planning and execution phase.

My ability to deliver exactly on the brief made me become their official events planner.

From surprise parties, to official meetings, corporate ‎seminars And lots more, i started gaining hands-on experiences and I was excited I was finally doing what I envisioned to do. I was so happy someone gave me a chance to serve and so I out did myself at every opportunity. Working over night to ensure all i’s are dotted and T’s crossed. Paying rapt attention to details and sometimes Sleeping at the venue to ensure workers don’t fail to do the work assigned to them.

Sometimes, I goofed because I didn’t understand pricing and so i’ll pay so much for the effort without a good knowledge of what payment structure was applicable to the service rendered.

By this time I was simultaneously running a course on entrepreneurial management and we were encouraged to use the services of our course mates.

This I tried and while some delivered, some start up used it as a way to reap money off me without delivering on the quality I expected.

This broke my heart and I decided i’ll never engage anyone if I’m not sure they can deliver on my expectations.

Having graduated with a certificate in entrepreneurial management, through the Goldman Sachs scholarship scheme for 10,000 women in Africa, I was paired up for mentorship with funke bucknor, who had that time was an already established events manager with several experience and top notch luxury events to her credit (including the presidents daughter’s wedding).

I ‎was privileged to be graduating with her on the same day but she couldn’t attend due to her busy schedule and so I kept giving her updates on the phone about the happenings at the hall of graduation, just to see if she could still meet up.

This act of kindness gave me closer access to her. I remember visiting her at the office to discuss some of the problems I have encountered and asking how she feels I could handle it.

Funke was ready to walk me through it and soon after I would attend conferences put together by EDC for people in my sector and i’ll learn more.

Often times, we meet up at this meetings with other events vendors and planners, and I started networking, and meeting reliable people in the industry.

In class, we will take on practical events case studies and plan to perfection with the brief given. This phase marked the beginning of a whole new level in my events planning and management career.

Later on in the following year, I set up a training arm of my events planning company, to share the knowledge I have acquired with other budding event managers and I leveraged on relationship to get experienced and leading events practitioners on board as ‎facilitators and they obliged. This include Funke Bucknor of Zaphire events, Olufunbi Akinyosoye of Dunamis events, to mention a few. They never charged for it and this kindness i’ll forever be grateful for because they showed up as scheduled and gave the students their very best.

It was a 3days eventful training and I used my experience in banking as well as my experience at other learning institutes to put together what I call a complete academy.

My mum had a vacant flat at her house and I pleaded to use the space for 3days before she rents it out to the final occupant, ‎she noticed my dedication and tenacity towards ensuring this training turns out a success and accorded me all necessary support.

I was allowed to use the space for free, and I sort the support and advice of my life coach who released his projector, and gave me some hands to support with logistics. We rented tables and chairs, printed training materials, bought generators and airconditioner to ensure we had a hitch free and conducive learning centre. Having completed the first 2days successfully, my mentor adviced that we take the 3rd day which is the graduation day to a more conducive facility and we ended up renting a hall in ikeja .

We projected 50 students but we had in attendance 12 students, 8 of which registered and 4 others attended free of charge. We didn’t make profit off this training but it gave room for impact, as I was also impacted and I used the medium to learn more and also train my staff/team member.

Today esob academy has broken even,we have graduated ‎several men and women. We now have a more structured classroom, and a detailed itinerary for field work, and practicals.

Esobevents on the other hand, now offers more than just class parties. We Plan,Style & Coordinate all types of
?corporate
?Weddings
?Social Events.
And we are willing and ready to Give you a “WoW+1” event experience. Call ? +2348023199887 ??

So if you’re considering the entrepreneurial journey just because you want quick money, think again. ‎Or your own desire to quit the 9-5 schedule is so you can have enough time to sleep and wake up anytime you like, Think again.

Entrepreneurship isn’t about being the Boss only, noooo, it comes with Huge responsibilities , dedication and most times a 24hours discipline. You are going to fail sometimes, loose customers or even get disappointed. But in all you’ll gain experience, win some and above all you’ll be fulfiled.

Still considering Entrepreneurship? RETHINK…..

And see you at the inspiring change conference 2017 on march 4,2017 by 10am at the Wisdom Arena.

I’ll be waiting to share with you more practical insight that can help ‎your entrepreneurial journey.

Admission is Free but registration is required. Click here ‎https://t.co/1KIBGekvhN

#InspiringchangewithSunmbo

Hello WORriors! Our Woman Crush for this week’s #WomanCrushWednesday is Iyabo Ojo. Iyabo Alice Ogunro-Ojo is a proud mother, businesswoman, actress, film maker, and philanthropist. She was born on 21 December 1977 in Lagos. She is from Abeokuta in Ogun State. She studied Estate Management at Lagos State Polytechnic.

She started acting in 1998 and made her debut in the movie, Satanic, an English-language film. In 2002, she made her Yoruba-language debut with Baba Darijiwon. She started producing her own films in 2004 and her first production was Bolutife. She has featured in over 150 movies and has produced over 14 movies of her own.

Iyabo Ojo launched her NGO, Pinkies Foundation, which caters to the children with special needs and the less privileged on May 2011. She is also the CEO of FESPRIS Production; and FesprisWorld;Spa, Salon,Mimi bouquet. She recently got unveiled as the brand ambassador of Larriett luxury shoes, alongside Monalisa Chinda.

Women Of Rubies celebrates you, dear Iyabo Ojo!

I do tell people that one of the most toxic, dangerous thing to do is to keep and nurse grudges. When you hold grudges against someone, you unconsciously become angry, bitter, and miserable…and from there, you proceed to looking for ways to make the person suffer (most especially when you see that the person is happy). Anger, bitterness, misery, grudges, unforgiving spirit, are all unnecessary baggages and you don’t need them in your life, so why don’t you throw them out!

I’m naturally a happy person so I hate any form of negative vibes around me. I don’t like dullness, bitterness, sadness, around me so I always try to make anywhere I am, lively. If you offend me, I will let you know straightaway(even if I have to ‘para’ for you) and if you don’t think the reasonable thing to do is to accept the fact that you have hurted my feelings and apologize, I would forgive you in my heart and forget about the whole drama because I can’t allow you to take my peace of mind and happiness away. People find it surprising the way I straighten people out(by mostly ‘para-ing’ for them) and within the next seconds, I’m back to my playful self with them. Whenever I’m asked how I easily switch like that, my response is always ”Life is too short, my happiness is important, and I can’t allow anything or anyone to block my blessings and happiness ke” If I have issues or disagreement with someone, I always look for ways to settle up and liven things up even if I’m right and the person is wrong. If I see that the person is being stiff and doesn’t want to settle up, I’d scoff and say ”wahala ti e ma niyen o..na you sabi” and move on with my life.

Do you know that when you keep grudges, you unconsiously block your blessings and happiness? Is anything or anyone worth losing your blessings and happiness, for? If you offend someone, what’s the big deal in apologizing to the person? Why wait for an apology before you can forgive? Sadly enough, some people find it hard and demeaning to say ‘sorry’. Some people gets ashamed when it comes to apologizing for being wrong. Don’t be like that. Don’t wait for someone to come and apologize to you before you can forgive. Don’t be proud or ashamed to apologize when you are wrong. Forgive and seek forgiveness for your own happiness and peace of mind. Even the Holy Books emphasize on the importance of letting go and forgiveness. There is one verse in the Bible that says ”Leave room for wrath but the sun must go down on your wrath” and the verse also clearly says that you must not take revenge but you should leave revenge for God. God knows that as human beings, we have emotions and so it is natural for us to get offended but we are not allowed to get too angry and we are not allowed to hold grudges. Trust me, I know how hard it is to let go and forgive, but you need to let go..it is very important. If you find it hard to forgive all on your own (you can’t even do it all on your own without God) talk to God in prayers and ask Him to help you..and He surely will help you.

I see people cursing, bad-mouthing, and causing problems for their exes, all because they dumped them. You don’t need that. Leave them to God and let Him handle them. I see people finding it hard to move on with their lives and learn to love again, because they are still smarting from the bad experiences they have had in their past relationships, and are finding it hard to forgive and forget…I say to you, it’s time to let go. Forget your past, bad experiences. Not every man/woman is going to be like your last partner. There is someone out there who is going to love you like you have never being loved before, and that person won’t be able to find you if you are still living in your past. Let go and let love find you!

Today, decide to throw out the unnecessary baggages you have been dragging around in your life. You don’t need them anymore because they are too heavy for your life and they are slowing your journey to a better, brighter place! It is time to throw out those unnecessary baggages, It is time to let go!

 

By Lydia Oladejo.

 

Facebook: Lydia Oladejo

Instagram: @lydiaoladejo

Email: lydiaoladejo@gmail.com

 

Last week I had loads of fun with the Old Girls’ Association of my secondary school. It was the maiden edition of our reunion and we were happy to see each other again. Of course we have changed, both in looks and sizes, but one thing was sure, we all have fond memories of our secondary school days. It was weird to realise that I graduated from secondary school exactly 20 years ago. There was so much to catch up on, and so much to gossip about. I am looking forward to the gathering again.

My school, St Joseph’s College Aba, was a very popular school and one of the best schools in our time. The standard of education and moral values were high. It also was also reputed to have the finest girls then, and as such our school activities always witnessed large turnout of male guests’ et al. We, the students, always represented that image with well-ironed short school uniforms and our heads held high.

I lived in boarding house and it was great fun. In fact, I learnt how to look out foe and take decisions for myself in the boarding house.I went into the boarding house young and naïve, but I came out sharp and street smart.

You see, lesbianism didn’t start today o. Oh no, even in Biblical times it has always existed. I, however, came to the knowledge of lesbianism in the boarding house. My school being an all-girls school was very much into lesbianism.

It was called ‘sure’ and the partners were referred to as lovers. Some school mothers and their school daughters turned their relationship from mentorship to lesbianism. It was a big deal then, and if as a junior student you didn’t have a lover you were deemed as being ‘jew’ – an unattractive and inactive person. I was initially curious to know what and how they did their ‘sure’ act, and when those who have experienced it narrated it to me, it just didn’t feel right to me. I believed intimacy was supposed to be between both sexes and not vice versa.

Anyway I kept my thoughts to myself and went about my business, no one wanted me as a ‘supe’. I was too stubborn to the seniors. I would flout school rules and regulations with my friend, and would be the first to report any senior that victimised or intimidated me to the principal – in well spoken English. God help the senior if she did not defend herself in English, as well as I did, the principal would show her pepper.

So, they all hated me and used every opportunity available to flog me. However in my JSS 3, I was almost lured into ‘supe’. It had become a norm amongst my friends, and I was almost the only one who didn’t have a lover.

One of the most beautiful and popular seniors in SS3 approached me after admiring my legs. I promised her I would think about it, because I had my reservations about her due to the rumours about her being possessed by evil spirits.

She persisted, buying me snacks during break, and making sure I ate the best portion of food during dinning hours.  Valentine’s day was approaching, so I decided to give the ‘supe’ thingy a trial. On Valentine’s Day, she sent me the biggest card I had ever seen and a set of lingerie. I was touched. Later that evening I honoured the invitation to her hostel, not knowing that I was going to sleep there. So when I entered the seniors’ hostel, I saw that all the bunk beds had been covered with mosquito nets and then bed sheets. There was practically no way to let air into the bed, I got scared because I can’t stay in a choked environment. She explained that the bed sheets were for privacy. I started wondering how I would breathe through the covering. I quickly lied to her that I hadn’t taken my bath because I thought that I would go back to sleep in my hostel. I begged her to let me go and freshen up and then come back. She agreed. I ran to my hostel and slept there.

She was very angry with me the next day. I apologised to her, promising to repeat the visit, while inwardly wondering how I would get myself out of the mess I was in. Fortunately for me, she woke up very early one morning and sat on the bare floor in front of her hostel. She refused to get up, claiming that she was instructed by her ‘people’ to stay there for the whole day, and indeed she stayed there even in the hot sun. My friends, the kain Ben Johnson wey I do. I ran faster than Usain Bolt and never contacted her again. I was more than relieved when she got another girl in my set as her ‘supe’ and forgot about me.

After that experience, I learnt never to allow myself be influenced by peer pressure or the need to belong. We can’t al  belong in the same place. Some can belong in the sitting room and some can belong in the kitchen.

You can share any tales about your secondary school as well….

So before I proceed with the usual banter that accompanies my vlogs, I guess I should say two things. The first is, Happy Valentine’s Day! May love always be in your life!

The second is a bit of a confession. Although this is a love/relationship styled vlog, I actually recorded it MONTHS ago but for some reason never released. And given we are smack bang in the season of love, it seemed appropriate to do so now.

This video is actually a sequel to an earlier vlog “How to make a Nigerian woman Happy” which you can watch here (link- https://youtu.be/WmFbOzo9snI). To create this video, I called quite a number of male friends and I was surprised by how simple and quite frankly ‘basic’ they claimed their requirements for happiness were.

 

As you watch this video, remember that every relationship is different because the people who make up these relationships, differ in backgrounds, character and many other things, so it is important to first understand your partner. It also always helpful to actually have an upfront conversation- ask him or her- what makes you happy? How can we both make our relationship, marriage or friendship a happy one?

So do you think you make your man happy? Please feel free to share some tips and tricks in the comments section or email me on glory@inspiredbyglory.com and if you haven’t done so already, please be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel @inspiredbyglory. Catch ya later!

Thank you!

See you next week!

 

Ladies, you have been praying about your new relationship. You even chose to pray when he started misbehaving.

You asked God to show you signs if you should marry him or not.

Suddenly, his mild bad attitudes became worse. He even maltreat and abuse you more. He doesn’t respect you and doesn’t bother about your welfare.

You have been asking him what went wrong and he says nothing or talks down on you.

You have been fasting and praying more for greater signs and wonders and after every prayer, his attitudes become worse.

What else do you want?

Greater miracles? Unseen signs and wonders?

The problem is not that you can’t see the signs, you just expect a change because you’re deep in love. You are obsessed.

The love is not the problem, he is not the issue too, you just haven’t discovered who you are what you want and what you deserve.

You even think you don’t deserve better. You are so used to being abused and you have embraced it more. You keep projecting your insecurities but you think you are just a slaying Queen.

Take a look at your past and your present. Observe the patterns, notice the emotional instability and ask yourself questions that can preserve your future.

Don’t get carried away by the internet and it’s societal pressure of what a woman is.

Don’t read fashion magazines alone, read quality books too.

Your life is more than what you see now. You are a treasure waiting to be found.

Pause and seek within. You deserve more.

Don’t limit yourself to the experiences you have had with friends and men while growing up.
You need to sort out your issues and inner demon before it consumes you.

I know what it feels like to be insecure and have low self-esteem. It’s not a good pace to be. I know what it means to seek for validation from men and relationships but that’s not what you need yet. Let God fill your heart and give you a sense of purpose and essence. Work on your values and what you project. Talk to someone if it’s not doable by you.

Enough of nudity, promiscuity, abusive relationships and purposeless life.

It’s time for you to evolve.

We can connect on: adenikeadedokun@gmail.com if you need to talk about it.

The beautiful things about morning is that they largely determine the rest part of the day.  To keep that get-fit momentum going all day long, start your day off right with these morning habits that will motivate you even more.

GET SOME SUN

Basking in the sun’s rays can help you drop pounds. Why? Morning light helps regulate your internal clock, which aids your sleep schedule (crucial for weight loss). Morning sunshine also contains higher levels of blue light, which has the strongest effect on your circadian rhythm. You only need 20-30 minutes of morning sunlight between 8 a.m. and noon to get in on these benefits!

GET IN A MINDFUL MOOD

Mindfulness is a key strategy when it comes to weight loss. It’s all about taking a focused, intentional approach to your life by really tuning in to your body and mind. Even better, it can stabilize your emotions, potentially making you less likely to give into stress-based eating. Take a few minutes at the start of each day to sit quietly and focus on the rhythm of your breath.

CHANGE UP YOUR COMMUTE

Driving to work is easy, but it may not be best for your waistline. A study published in the journal BMJ shows that people who walk, bike, and take public transportation have lower BMIs and body-fat percentages than those who depended on their cars to get to work. Even walking to the closest bus stop or train station can be beneficial.

GO HIGH-PROTEIN

While the jury’s still out on whether breakfast is essential for weight loss, a healthy dose of protein in the morning looks like it can help you drop pounds. Protein takes a long time to digest and pushes your body to secrete the gut hormone Peptide YY, which helps increase feelings of fullness.

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